1 00:00:01,311 --> 00:00:04,022 So, being married, 2 00:00:01,311 --> 00:00:04,022 different, 3 00:00:01,311 --> 00:00:04,022 not different? 4 00:00:04,022 --> 00:00:05,941 It's the same. Mostly. 5 00:00:05,941 --> 00:00:07,150 Except I think 6 00:00:05,941 --> 00:00:07,150 I might be getting 7 00:00:05,941 --> 00:00:07,150 carpal tunnel. 8 00:00:07,150 --> 00:00:09,027 My hand 9 00:00:07,150 --> 00:00:09,027 keeps cramping up. 10 00:00:09,027 --> 00:00:10,571 I thought the whole point 11 00:00:09,027 --> 00:00:10,571 of getting married 12 00:00:10,571 --> 00:00:12,531 was that 13 00:00:10,571 --> 00:00:12,531 you didn't have to 14 00:00:10,571 --> 00:00:12,531 do that anymore. 15 00:00:12,531 --> 00:00:15,576 No, it's from writing 16 00:00:12,531 --> 00:00:15,576 all the thank you notes. 17 00:00:15,576 --> 00:00:17,244 Mostly. 18 00:00:15,576 --> 00:00:17,244 Yeah. 19 00:00:17,244 --> 00:00:19,079 You're writing 20 00:00:17,244 --> 00:00:19,079 constantly. 21 00:00:19,079 --> 00:00:21,791 There's forms 22 00:00:19,079 --> 00:00:21,791 we have to sign, 23 00:00:19,079 --> 00:00:21,791 our death folders, 24 00:00:21,791 --> 00:00:23,292 thank you notes. 25 00:00:23,292 --> 00:00:24,918 What are 26 00:00:23,292 --> 00:00:24,918 death folders? 27 00:00:24,918 --> 00:00:26,503 It's this thing 28 00:00:24,918 --> 00:00:26,503 they recommend you do 29 00:00:26,503 --> 00:00:28,922 in case one spouse 30 00:00:26,503 --> 00:00:28,922 dies unexpectedly. 31 00:00:28,922 --> 00:00:31,091 It's all the information 32 00:00:28,922 --> 00:00:31,091 your spouse might need, 33 00:00:31,091 --> 00:00:32,968 all in one 34 00:00:31,091 --> 00:00:32,968 convenient location. 35 00:00:32,968 --> 00:00:36,012 Yeah. Account info, 36 00:00:32,968 --> 00:00:36,012 important addresses, 37 00:00:36,012 --> 00:00:38,599 a letter to 38 00:00:36,012 --> 00:00:38,599 the other person. 39 00:00:36,012 --> 00:00:38,599 All that stuff. 40 00:00:38,599 --> 00:00:41,310 I'll get 41 00:00:38,599 --> 00:00:41,310 the next round. 42 00:00:42,812 --> 00:00:44,229 I am such a jerk. 43 00:00:44,229 --> 00:00:45,355 Yeah. 44 00:00:45,355 --> 00:00:47,023 Wait, why? 45 00:00:47,023 --> 00:00:49,151 I didn't know 46 00:00:47,023 --> 00:00:49,151 that I was supposed to 47 00:00:47,023 --> 00:00:49,151 write a letter. 48 00:00:49,151 --> 00:00:51,945 All Lily's gonna find 49 00:00:49,151 --> 00:00:51,945 in that folder are 50 00:00:49,151 --> 00:00:51,945 a bunch of bank statements 51 00:00:51,945 --> 00:00:53,614 and a funny list 52 00:00:51,945 --> 00:00:53,614 of things to do 53 00:00:51,945 --> 00:00:53,614 with my ashes. 54 00:00:53,614 --> 00:00:54,657 Marshall brownies. 55 00:00:54,657 --> 00:00:56,074 Number six. 56 00:00:56,074 --> 00:00:58,285 Oh, God, 57 00:00:56,074 --> 00:00:58,285 I am a bad husband. 58 00:00:58,285 --> 00:01:00,287 No, no, 59 00:00:58,285 --> 00:01:00,287 I'll just write... 60 00:01:00,287 --> 00:01:02,289 I'll write 61 00:01:00,287 --> 00:01:02,289 Lily a letter tonight, 62 00:01:00,287 --> 00:01:02,289 everything will be fine. 63 00:01:02,289 --> 00:01:04,958 That's right. Unless... 64 00:01:04,958 --> 00:01:06,710 You die 65 00:01:04,958 --> 00:01:06,710 between now and then. 66 00:01:06,710 --> 00:01:08,128 Ooh. 67 00:01:08,128 --> 00:01:09,338 But, come on, 68 00:01:08,128 --> 00:01:09,338 that's never 69 00:01:08,128 --> 00:01:09,338 gonna happen. 70 00:01:09,338 --> 00:01:11,047 Yes! 71 00:01:11,047 --> 00:01:12,924 If there's one thing 72 00:01:11,047 --> 00:01:12,924 we can state 73 00:01:11,047 --> 00:01:12,924 with absolute certainty, 74 00:01:12,924 --> 00:01:15,385 it's that Marshall Eriksen 75 00:01:12,924 --> 00:01:15,385 is not going to die 76 00:01:15,385 --> 00:01:16,553 before 77 00:01:15,385 --> 00:01:16,553 writing that letter. 78 00:01:16,553 --> 00:01:18,388 No way at all. 79 00:01:18,388 --> 00:01:23,143 In fact, I dare God 80 00:01:18,388 --> 00:01:23,143 to smite down 81 00:01:18,388 --> 00:01:23,143 this perfectly healthy... 82 00:01:24,936 --> 00:01:27,397 I get it. Okay, 83 00:01:24,936 --> 00:01:27,397 you guys know 84 00:01:24,936 --> 00:01:27,397 I'm a little superstitious, 85 00:01:27,397 --> 00:01:29,149 and you guys 86 00:01:27,397 --> 00:01:29,149 are trying to 87 00:01:27,397 --> 00:01:29,149 freak me out. 88 00:01:29,149 --> 00:01:32,152 Well, guess what? 89 00:01:29,149 --> 00:01:32,152 It didn't work. 90 00:01:29,149 --> 00:01:32,152 So, there. 91 00:01:43,079 --> 00:01:44,956 You guys are jerks! 92 00:01:59,012 --> 00:02:02,182 So after 93 00:01:59,012 --> 00:02:02,182 Robin and I broke up, 94 00:01:59,012 --> 00:02:02,182 she needed some time away. 95 00:02:02,182 --> 00:02:04,894 Away from her normal home, 96 00:02:02,182 --> 00:02:04,894 her normal life, 97 00:02:04,894 --> 00:02:07,229 and it turns out, 98 00:02:04,894 --> 00:02:07,229 her normal self. 99 00:02:07,229 --> 00:02:10,482 I was just so uptight 100 00:02:07,229 --> 00:02:10,482 in New York, you know? 101 00:02:10,482 --> 00:02:13,694 I mean, down here 102 00:02:10,482 --> 00:02:13,694 everybody 103 00:02:10,482 --> 00:02:13,694 shares everything. 104 00:02:13,694 --> 00:02:19,658 It's like we're all 105 00:02:13,694 --> 00:02:19,658 one big, shimmering ball 106 00:02:13,694 --> 00:02:19,658 of positive energy. 107 00:02:19,658 --> 00:02:22,077 I wonder if anyone's 108 00:02:19,658 --> 00:02:22,077 ever thought that before. 109 00:02:23,036 --> 00:02:25,664 Here. Eat. 110 00:02:25,664 --> 00:02:29,209 If we run out of fish, 111 00:02:25,664 --> 00:02:29,209 I will catch more 112 00:02:25,664 --> 00:02:29,209 with my hands. 113 00:02:30,836 --> 00:02:32,462 A drum circle! 114 00:02:32,462 --> 00:02:35,549 They're different 115 00:02:32,462 --> 00:02:35,549 every time. 116 00:02:32,462 --> 00:02:35,549 Let's go watch! 117 00:02:35,549 --> 00:02:36,675 And here I am 118 00:02:35,549 --> 00:02:36,675 at the drum circle. 119 00:02:36,675 --> 00:02:37,968 Whoa! 120 00:02:37,968 --> 00:02:40,095 Are you topless? 121 00:02:37,968 --> 00:02:40,095 Ted, check this out. 122 00:02:40,095 --> 00:02:41,680 Seen them. 123 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:43,223 Oh, it seems like 124 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:43,223 a great trip. 125 00:02:43,223 --> 00:02:44,767 Well, it was. 126 00:02:44,767 --> 00:02:46,852 I feel like, 127 00:02:44,767 --> 00:02:46,852 the Robin who left 128 00:02:46,852 --> 00:02:49,145 is not the same Robin 129 00:02:46,852 --> 00:02:49,145 who came back, 130 00:02:46,852 --> 00:02:49,145 you know? 131 00:02:49,145 --> 00:02:52,148 Wow, there's a lot of 132 00:02:49,145 --> 00:02:52,148 nude people in here. 133 00:02:52,148 --> 00:02:54,777 You haven't changed, 134 00:02:52,148 --> 00:02:54,777 Scherbatsky. 135 00:02:54,777 --> 00:02:57,821 You're a sophisticated, 136 00:02:54,777 --> 00:02:57,821 scotch-swilling, 137 00:02:54,777 --> 00:02:57,821 cigar-smoking, 138 00:02:57,821 --> 00:03:00,073 red-meat-eating, 139 00:02:57,821 --> 00:03:00,073 gun-toting New Yorker. 140 00:03:00,073 --> 00:03:03,201 Just shoes and a shirt. 141 00:03:00,073 --> 00:03:03,201 That's a look. 142 00:03:03,201 --> 00:03:06,956 What you are not 143 00:03:03,201 --> 00:03:06,956 is a massage-giving, 144 00:03:03,201 --> 00:03:06,956 windsurfing, bongo-playing, 145 00:03:06,956 --> 00:03:09,165 teetotaling, vegan, 146 00:03:06,956 --> 00:03:09,165 peacenik, hippy, 147 00:03:09,165 --> 00:03:11,126 like your soon to be 148 00:03:09,165 --> 00:03:11,126 ex-boyfriend, Gael. 149 00:03:11,126 --> 00:03:12,753 Back me up here, Ted. 150 00:03:12,753 --> 00:03:14,004 I'm just happy 151 00:03:12,753 --> 00:03:14,004 Robin's happy. 152 00:03:14,004 --> 00:03:15,965 Thank you. 153 00:03:15,965 --> 00:03:19,217 Man, this is like 154 00:03:15,965 --> 00:03:19,217 a Where's Waldo? 155 00:03:15,965 --> 00:03:19,217 of exposed genitalia. 156 00:03:19,217 --> 00:03:22,638 Except that 157 00:03:19,217 --> 00:03:22,638 it's really easy 158 00:03:19,217 --> 00:03:22,638 to find Waldo. 159 00:03:22,638 --> 00:03:25,682 I'm evolved 160 00:03:22,638 --> 00:03:25,682 and I'm enjoying 161 00:03:22,638 --> 00:03:25,682 living my life 162 00:03:25,682 --> 00:03:28,351 a little bit closer 163 00:03:25,682 --> 00:03:28,351 to the way Gael 164 00:03:25,682 --> 00:03:28,351 and I did in Argentina. 165 00:03:28,351 --> 00:03:30,020 Please. 166 00:03:30,020 --> 00:03:32,522 Vacation romances 167 00:03:30,020 --> 00:03:32,522 have an expiration date. 168 00:03:32,522 --> 00:03:36,151 Gael's got 169 00:03:32,522 --> 00:03:36,151 a "best if banged by" 170 00:03:32,522 --> 00:03:36,151 sticker on him. 171 00:03:36,151 --> 00:03:39,154 Once your romance 172 00:03:36,151 --> 00:03:39,154 starts to stink, 173 00:03:36,151 --> 00:03:39,154 you'll dump his ass 174 00:03:39,154 --> 00:03:42,908 down the drain like 175 00:03:39,154 --> 00:03:42,908 sour milk and go back to 176 00:03:39,154 --> 00:03:42,908 being "unevolved Robin," 177 00:03:42,908 --> 00:03:45,995 the one we actually like. 178 00:03:42,908 --> 00:03:45,995 Back me up here, Ted. 179 00:03:45,995 --> 00:03:48,204 I'm just happy 180 00:03:45,995 --> 00:03:48,204 Robin's happy. 181 00:03:48,204 --> 00:03:49,999 I'm telling you, 182 00:03:48,204 --> 00:03:49,999 within three days... 183 00:03:49,999 --> 00:03:51,875 Oh, here he comes. 184 00:03:49,999 --> 00:03:51,875 Switch to big words. 185 00:03:51,875 --> 00:03:56,296 Within a triad of 186 00:03:51,875 --> 00:03:56,296 solar periods, 187 00:03:51,875 --> 00:03:56,296 you'll recognize your dearth 188 00:03:56,296 --> 00:04:00,091 of compatibility 189 00:03:56,296 --> 00:04:00,091 with your paramour and 190 00:03:56,296 --> 00:04:00,091 conclude your association. 191 00:04:00,091 --> 00:04:03,012 My journey was transformative. 192 00:04:00,091 --> 00:04:03,012 And I reassert my commitment 193 00:04:03,012 --> 00:04:07,016 to both the aforementioned 194 00:04:03,012 --> 00:04:07,016 paramour and the 195 00:04:03,012 --> 00:04:07,016 philosophies he espouses. 196 00:04:07,016 --> 00:04:09,935 What are we talking of? 197 00:04:07,016 --> 00:04:09,935 Baseball? 198 00:04:09,935 --> 00:04:14,189 This is all gonna return 199 00:04:09,935 --> 00:04:14,189 to masticate you 200 00:04:09,935 --> 00:04:14,189 in the gluteals. 201 00:04:14,189 --> 00:04:16,566 Support 202 00:04:14,189 --> 00:04:16,566 my hypothesis, Ted. 203 00:04:16,566 --> 00:04:19,486 I'm just jubilant 204 00:04:16,566 --> 00:04:19,486 my former 205 00:04:16,566 --> 00:04:19,486 paramour's jubilant. 206 00:04:22,739 --> 00:04:25,241 That night 207 00:04:22,739 --> 00:04:25,241 Marshall sat down 208 00:04:22,739 --> 00:04:25,241 to write the letter 209 00:04:25,241 --> 00:04:27,828 he hoped Lily 210 00:04:25,241 --> 00:04:27,828 would never have to read. 211 00:04:28,996 --> 00:04:31,999 My dearest, sweetest, 212 00:04:28,996 --> 00:04:31,999 Lily pad. 213 00:04:31,999 --> 00:04:35,168 Let this letter 214 00:04:31,999 --> 00:04:35,168 be a small beacon, 215 00:04:35,168 --> 00:04:38,714 a tiny firefly 216 00:04:35,168 --> 00:04:38,714 to help light your way 217 00:04:38,714 --> 00:04:40,465 through the years ahead. 218 00:04:42,009 --> 00:04:44,803 My love for you 219 00:04:42,009 --> 00:04:44,803 persists 220 00:04:44,803 --> 00:04:47,263 higher than 221 00:04:44,803 --> 00:04:47,263 the Himalayas. 222 00:04:47,263 --> 00:04:49,516 Deeper than 223 00:04:47,263 --> 00:04:49,516 a Scottish loch. 224 00:04:51,935 --> 00:04:55,271 If I had died under 225 00:04:51,935 --> 00:04:55,271 suspicious circumstances, 226 00:04:55,271 --> 00:04:57,024 then beware. 227 00:04:57,024 --> 00:05:00,069 Trust no one. 228 00:04:57,024 --> 00:05:00,069 Not even Ted. 229 00:05:03,655 --> 00:05:07,034 Especially not Ted. 230 00:05:07,034 --> 00:05:09,619 Know that I'll always 231 00:05:07,034 --> 00:05:09,619 be there in your heart 232 00:05:09,619 --> 00:05:13,248 whenever you need me, 233 00:05:09,619 --> 00:05:13,248 and that my love for you 234 00:05:09,619 --> 00:05:13,248 will never die. 235 00:05:14,165 --> 00:05:15,500 Love... 236 00:05:16,418 --> 00:05:18,628 Your Marshmallow. 237 00:05:39,274 --> 00:05:44,195 M. ATM pin code, 238 00:05:39,274 --> 00:05:44,195 5-4-5-9. 239 00:05:44,195 --> 00:05:48,324 Teacher's 240 00:05:44,195 --> 00:05:48,324 pension account, 241 00:05:44,195 --> 00:05:48,324 A-3-9-3-2. 242 00:05:48,324 --> 00:05:50,160 Cancel Vogue. I. 243 00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:56,166 My windsurfing board... 244 00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:56,166 It had floated away. 245 00:05:56,166 --> 00:05:58,334 And the shark... 246 00:05:58,334 --> 00:06:00,670 He was getting closer. 247 00:06:00,670 --> 00:06:03,381 They say to escape 248 00:06:00,670 --> 00:06:03,381 you punch 249 00:06:00,670 --> 00:06:03,381 a shark in the nose. 250 00:06:03,381 --> 00:06:06,468 But I said, 251 00:06:03,381 --> 00:06:06,468 "Brother shark, 252 00:06:06,468 --> 00:06:09,638 "we are both children 253 00:06:06,468 --> 00:06:09,638 from the same 254 00:06:06,468 --> 00:06:09,638 Earth mother." 255 00:06:11,098 --> 00:06:13,308 And that's all I remember 256 00:06:11,098 --> 00:06:13,308 until the hospital. 257 00:06:14,601 --> 00:06:16,645 That guy. 258 00:06:14,601 --> 00:06:16,645 Yeah. 259 00:06:16,645 --> 00:06:19,898 That guy. 260 00:06:16,645 --> 00:06:19,898 Look at how easy 261 00:06:16,645 --> 00:06:19,898 he has it. 262 00:06:19,898 --> 00:06:21,942 You and me, 263 00:06:19,898 --> 00:06:21,942 we have to bend over 264 00:06:19,898 --> 00:06:21,942 backwards 265 00:06:21,942 --> 00:06:24,653 to get a woman to, well, 266 00:06:21,942 --> 00:06:24,653 bend over backwards. 267 00:06:25,695 --> 00:06:27,781 But that guy... 268 00:06:27,781 --> 00:06:32,285 Every woman in the bar 269 00:06:27,781 --> 00:06:32,285 is hanging on his every 270 00:06:27,781 --> 00:06:32,285 slightly mispronounced word. 271 00:06:32,285 --> 00:06:33,787 And why? 272 00:06:33,787 --> 00:06:36,123 He's better looking 273 00:06:33,787 --> 00:06:36,123 than us. 274 00:06:36,123 --> 00:06:37,290 No! 275 00:06:37,290 --> 00:06:38,583 Because he's from 276 00:06:37,290 --> 00:06:38,583 out of town. 277 00:06:38,583 --> 00:06:39,793 Mmm. 278 00:06:39,793 --> 00:06:41,753 With an accent 279 00:06:39,793 --> 00:06:41,753 and an innocent smile. 280 00:06:41,753 --> 00:06:43,922 You don't even have to try. 281 00:06:41,753 --> 00:06:43,922 Yeah. 282 00:06:43,922 --> 00:06:46,883 Plus automatic out, 283 00:06:43,922 --> 00:06:46,883 you're leaving 284 00:06:43,922 --> 00:06:46,883 in a couple of days. 285 00:06:46,883 --> 00:06:48,218 God, I wish 286 00:06:46,883 --> 00:06:48,218 we were tourists. 287 00:06:48,218 --> 00:06:49,469 Yeah. 288 00:06:50,679 --> 00:06:52,722 Actually... 289 00:06:52,722 --> 00:06:54,474 You know where 290 00:06:52,722 --> 00:06:54,474 I've been meaning 291 00:06:52,722 --> 00:06:54,474 to visit? 292 00:06:56,935 --> 00:06:59,729 Okay, okay, we're from 293 00:06:56,935 --> 00:06:59,729 a small town 294 00:06:56,935 --> 00:06:59,729 in the south of France. 295 00:06:59,729 --> 00:07:02,273 Our plane leaves 296 00:06:59,729 --> 00:07:02,273 Sunday morning. 297 00:07:02,273 --> 00:07:04,567 Howdy, ladies. 298 00:07:04,567 --> 00:07:06,653 Hate to bother you. 299 00:07:04,567 --> 00:07:06,653 We seem to be 300 00:07:04,567 --> 00:07:06,653 a little bit lost. 301 00:07:06,653 --> 00:07:10,323 Would you happen to know 302 00:07:06,653 --> 00:07:10,323 which street 303 00:07:06,653 --> 00:07:10,323 the Statue of Liberty's on? 304 00:07:10,323 --> 00:07:12,575 Actually, it's on 305 00:07:10,323 --> 00:07:12,575 its own island. 306 00:07:12,575 --> 00:07:14,744 Oh! 307 00:07:12,575 --> 00:07:14,744 Oh, it's right... 308 00:07:14,744 --> 00:07:16,579 Thank you very... 309 00:07:16,579 --> 00:07:19,958 My name is, 310 00:07:16,579 --> 00:07:19,958 Ignatius Peabody Nobel. 311 00:07:19,958 --> 00:07:22,711 From East Westerton, 312 00:07:19,958 --> 00:07:22,711 Missouri. 313 00:07:22,711 --> 00:07:25,421 And this is 314 00:07:22,711 --> 00:07:25,421 my friend, Ted. 315 00:07:25,421 --> 00:07:27,007 Hi, I'm Colleen. 316 00:07:27,007 --> 00:07:28,383 Hi, Colleen. 317 00:07:27,007 --> 00:07:28,383 This is Lindsay. 318 00:07:28,383 --> 00:07:30,677 Hi, Lindsay. 319 00:07:30,677 --> 00:07:34,806 So, hey, you ladies 320 00:07:30,677 --> 00:07:34,806 been awful nice to us. 321 00:07:30,677 --> 00:07:34,806 What do you say... 322 00:07:34,806 --> 00:07:36,641 Ah... Never mind. 323 00:07:34,806 --> 00:07:36,641 No, what is it? 324 00:07:36,641 --> 00:07:39,061 Well, it's just 325 00:07:36,641 --> 00:07:39,061 we're leaving 326 00:07:36,641 --> 00:07:39,061 Sunday morning. 327 00:07:39,061 --> 00:07:41,230 It sure would be nice 328 00:07:39,061 --> 00:07:41,230 to have some real 329 00:07:39,061 --> 00:07:41,230 New Yorkers show us around. 330 00:07:41,230 --> 00:07:43,106 Yeah. 331 00:07:43,106 --> 00:07:45,942 Well, we're busy 332 00:07:43,106 --> 00:07:45,942 tonight, but... 333 00:07:45,942 --> 00:07:48,570 Maybe tomorrow afternoon? 334 00:07:45,942 --> 00:07:48,570 After lunch? 335 00:07:48,570 --> 00:07:51,240 Well, hotdog! Should we... 336 00:07:48,570 --> 00:07:51,240 You want to just meet here 337 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:54,201 in front of 338 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:54,201 MacLaren's Pub? 339 00:07:54,201 --> 00:07:55,952 It's kind of 340 00:07:54,201 --> 00:07:55,952 a lame bar, but sure. 341 00:07:55,952 --> 00:07:57,954 Really? 342 00:07:55,952 --> 00:07:57,954 It doesn't seem 343 00:07:55,952 --> 00:07:57,954 that lame to me. 344 00:07:57,954 --> 00:08:00,790 It's pretty lame. 345 00:07:57,954 --> 00:08:00,790 I think it's cool. 346 00:08:00,790 --> 00:08:02,751 We'll see you tomorrow. 347 00:08:00,790 --> 00:08:02,751 All right. 348 00:08:02,751 --> 00:08:04,086 I'm just saying 349 00:08:02,751 --> 00:08:04,086 it seems like 350 00:08:02,751 --> 00:08:04,086 a kind of bar 351 00:08:04,086 --> 00:08:05,628 a lot of cool people 352 00:08:04,086 --> 00:08:05,628 would hang out at. 353 00:08:05,628 --> 00:08:06,838 Okay, all right. 354 00:08:05,628 --> 00:08:06,838 They're gone. 355 00:08:06,838 --> 00:08:09,132 So, Gael, huh? 356 00:08:06,838 --> 00:08:09,132 Still going strong? 357 00:08:09,132 --> 00:08:11,176 Yeah, it's great. 358 00:08:11,176 --> 00:08:13,220 Amazing, fantastic, 359 00:08:11,176 --> 00:08:13,220 awesome. 360 00:08:13,220 --> 00:08:14,930 Oh, that's one 361 00:08:13,220 --> 00:08:14,930 too many. 362 00:08:14,930 --> 00:08:16,098 What's going on? 363 00:08:16,098 --> 00:08:18,141 Well, now that I'm home, 364 00:08:18,141 --> 00:08:20,435 I'm finding myself 365 00:08:18,141 --> 00:08:20,435 getting annoyed at things 366 00:08:18,141 --> 00:08:20,435 that I loved on vacation. 367 00:08:21,394 --> 00:08:23,438 Here, taste. 368 00:08:23,438 --> 00:08:25,315 Experience your food. 369 00:08:27,067 --> 00:08:28,235 Oh... 370 00:08:28,235 --> 00:08:30,028 So good. 371 00:08:30,028 --> 00:08:31,905 Here, taste. 372 00:08:31,905 --> 00:08:33,823 Experience your food. 373 00:08:33,823 --> 00:08:35,909 Ooh, sofa, ooh, 374 00:08:33,823 --> 00:08:35,909 sofa, sofa, sofa... 375 00:08:38,411 --> 00:08:40,289 We're alone now. 376 00:08:40,289 --> 00:08:42,040 I must have you. 377 00:08:47,087 --> 00:08:48,379 I must have you. 378 00:08:48,379 --> 00:08:50,257 Laptop, laptop, 379 00:08:48,379 --> 00:08:50,257 laptop! Oh... 380 00:08:52,092 --> 00:08:55,178 And you know what else? 381 00:08:52,092 --> 00:08:55,178 I'm still finding sand 382 00:08:52,092 --> 00:08:55,178 everywhere. 383 00:08:55,178 --> 00:08:56,930 I mean, we haven't been 384 00:08:55,178 --> 00:08:56,930 to the beach 385 00:08:55,178 --> 00:08:56,930 since Argentina. 386 00:08:56,930 --> 00:08:59,599 Where is it all 387 00:08:56,930 --> 00:08:59,599 coming from? 388 00:08:59,599 --> 00:09:02,769 Well, maybe you're just 389 00:08:59,599 --> 00:09:02,769 going back to the person 390 00:08:59,599 --> 00:09:02,769 you were before the trip. 391 00:09:02,769 --> 00:09:06,148 But I don't want to. 392 00:09:02,769 --> 00:09:06,148 I was so happy down there. 393 00:09:06,148 --> 00:09:08,650 No, you know what? 394 00:09:06,148 --> 00:09:08,650 I'm done complaining. 395 00:09:08,650 --> 00:09:11,278 I'm evolving. 396 00:09:11,278 --> 00:09:13,446 Just gonna go with the flow. 397 00:09:17,533 --> 00:09:18,868 Wow! 398 00:09:18,868 --> 00:09:21,496 Gael, you're peeing 399 00:09:18,868 --> 00:09:21,496 while I'm in the shower. 400 00:09:22,413 --> 00:09:24,457 Okay. 401 00:09:24,457 --> 00:09:27,669 Okay, old Robin 402 00:09:24,457 --> 00:09:27,669 would have been like, 403 00:09:24,457 --> 00:09:27,669 "Dude, ocupado!" 404 00:09:27,669 --> 00:09:31,714 But now, you know what, 405 00:09:27,669 --> 00:09:31,714 I'm cool with it. Pee it up. 406 00:09:31,714 --> 00:09:33,466 In fact, 407 00:09:33,466 --> 00:09:36,303 when you're done, 408 00:09:33,466 --> 00:09:36,303 why don't you come in here 409 00:09:33,466 --> 00:09:36,303 and join me? 410 00:09:36,303 --> 00:09:38,305 Don't mind 411 00:09:36,303 --> 00:09:38,305 if I do, love. 412 00:09:40,390 --> 00:09:42,558 Gael, there's some weird... 413 00:09:42,558 --> 00:09:44,769 Hello. 414 00:09:42,558 --> 00:09:44,769 Hey! Good news! 415 00:09:44,769 --> 00:09:46,479 I made some new 416 00:09:44,769 --> 00:09:46,479 traveling friends today, 417 00:09:46,479 --> 00:09:48,857 and they'll be 418 00:09:46,479 --> 00:09:48,857 staying with us... 419 00:09:46,479 --> 00:09:48,857 How do you say... 420 00:09:48,857 --> 00:09:50,233 Indefinitely! 421 00:09:50,233 --> 00:09:51,442 Good day! 422 00:09:57,407 --> 00:09:59,909 Oh, here, 423 00:09:57,407 --> 00:09:59,909 will you sign this 424 00:09:57,407 --> 00:09:59,909 thank you note? 425 00:10:02,412 --> 00:10:03,454 Wow! 426 00:10:03,454 --> 00:10:05,248 Both sides. 427 00:10:05,248 --> 00:10:09,085 You wrote on both sides 428 00:10:05,248 --> 00:10:09,085 of a thank you note 429 00:10:05,248 --> 00:10:09,085 to my third cousin 430 00:10:09,085 --> 00:10:10,920 for a blender that 431 00:10:09,085 --> 00:10:10,920 you haven't even 432 00:10:09,085 --> 00:10:10,920 taken out of the box. 433 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:12,381 Wow, that's... 434 00:10:12,381 --> 00:10:14,632 It's a really 435 00:10:12,381 --> 00:10:14,632 nice blender. 436 00:10:14,632 --> 00:10:17,010 Well, if you love 437 00:10:14,632 --> 00:10:17,010 that blender so much, 438 00:10:14,632 --> 00:10:17,010 why don't you just marry it. 439 00:10:17,010 --> 00:10:20,305 I can't. I married you. 440 00:10:17,010 --> 00:10:20,305 That's how 441 00:10:17,010 --> 00:10:20,305 we got the blender. 442 00:10:21,264 --> 00:10:22,515 What's wrong? 443 00:10:22,515 --> 00:10:23,766 Nothing. 444 00:10:23,766 --> 00:10:26,186 Nothing's wrong. 445 00:10:23,766 --> 00:10:26,186 What could be wrong? 446 00:10:26,186 --> 00:10:28,563 Except that when you die 447 00:10:26,186 --> 00:10:28,563 I'm gonna find out 448 00:10:28,563 --> 00:10:30,357 that your parting words 449 00:10:28,563 --> 00:10:30,357 to comfort me 450 00:10:28,563 --> 00:10:30,357 for all eternity 451 00:10:30,357 --> 00:10:31,733 were "Cancel Vogue." 452 00:10:32,734 --> 00:10:34,485 How can you open my letter? 453 00:10:34,485 --> 00:10:36,905 That was not a letter. 454 00:10:34,485 --> 00:10:36,905 It was barely even 455 00:10:34,485 --> 00:10:36,905 a text message. 456 00:10:36,905 --> 00:10:38,448 Next time 457 00:10:36,905 --> 00:10:38,448 you write something 458 00:10:36,905 --> 00:10:38,448 that short, 459 00:10:38,448 --> 00:10:40,825 at least have the courtesy 460 00:10:38,448 --> 00:10:40,825 to make it rhyme. 461 00:10:40,825 --> 00:10:43,494 Marshall, wait. 462 00:10:43,494 --> 00:10:45,955 This was our first fight 463 00:10:43,494 --> 00:10:45,955 as a married couple. 464 00:10:45,955 --> 00:10:47,457 Oh, baby. 465 00:10:47,457 --> 00:10:48,624 Oh. 466 00:10:47,457 --> 00:10:48,624 Oh. 467 00:10:51,836 --> 00:10:53,546 Kids, 468 00:10:51,836 --> 00:10:53,546 when you visit New York, 469 00:10:53,546 --> 00:10:56,716 there's countless fun things 470 00:10:53,546 --> 00:10:56,716 to see and do. 471 00:10:56,716 --> 00:11:00,178 And yet, Colleen and Lindsay 472 00:10:56,716 --> 00:11:00,178 took us to Tater Skinz. 473 00:11:00,178 --> 00:11:02,138 This is our favorite 474 00:11:00,178 --> 00:11:02,138 restaurant in the city. 475 00:11:02,138 --> 00:11:03,973 Yes, I'm sure 476 00:11:02,138 --> 00:11:03,973 this is the best 477 00:11:03,973 --> 00:11:09,479 of their 57 478 00:11:03,973 --> 00:11:09,479 "spudtacular" 479 00:11:03,973 --> 00:11:09,479 East Coast locations. 480 00:11:09,479 --> 00:11:11,314 I'm going to 481 00:11:09,479 --> 00:11:11,314 run to the restroom. 482 00:11:09,479 --> 00:11:11,314 I'm gonna go, too. 483 00:11:11,314 --> 00:11:12,523 Oh... 484 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:19,448 This is 485 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:19,448 the easiest date ever. 486 00:11:19,448 --> 00:11:21,408 You know what 487 00:11:19,448 --> 00:11:21,408 I'm gonna try next? 488 00:11:19,448 --> 00:11:21,408 A "knock, knock" joke. 489 00:11:21,408 --> 00:11:23,743 Easiest? 490 00:11:21,408 --> 00:11:23,743 Somehow we have managed 491 00:11:21,408 --> 00:11:23,743 to find 492 00:11:23,743 --> 00:11:26,537 the two lamest 493 00:11:23,743 --> 00:11:26,537 New Yorkers of all time. 494 00:11:26,537 --> 00:11:27,747 Ted, Ted, Ted. 495 00:11:27,747 --> 00:11:28,790 Dude, I am looking at you. 496 00:11:28,790 --> 00:11:29,999 What? 497 00:11:29,999 --> 00:11:31,542 Right. 498 00:11:29,999 --> 00:11:31,542 Stay with me. 499 00:11:31,542 --> 00:11:34,754 We are on the cusp 500 00:11:31,542 --> 00:11:34,754 of moving 501 00:11:31,542 --> 00:11:34,754 from out-of-towners, 502 00:11:34,754 --> 00:11:36,798 to in-their-pantsers. 503 00:11:38,258 --> 00:11:39,634 All right, Ignatius, 504 00:11:38,258 --> 00:11:39,634 one more hour. 505 00:11:39,634 --> 00:11:40,927 Nice. 506 00:11:40,927 --> 00:11:42,345 Nice. Hey, nice. 507 00:11:42,345 --> 00:11:44,222 Hey... 508 00:11:44,222 --> 00:11:45,807 Hey, our friends 509 00:11:44,222 --> 00:11:45,807 invited us to a party. 510 00:11:45,807 --> 00:11:46,891 You guys want to 511 00:11:45,807 --> 00:11:46,891 come along? 512 00:11:46,891 --> 00:11:48,351 Knock, knock. 513 00:11:48,351 --> 00:11:49,436 Who's there? 514 00:11:48,351 --> 00:11:49,436 Yes, we do. 515 00:11:52,981 --> 00:11:54,649 Quick announcement, 516 00:11:54,649 --> 00:11:59,154 I am so glad 517 00:11:54,649 --> 00:11:59,154 that you're here, 518 00:11:54,649 --> 00:11:59,154 fellow travelers. 519 00:11:59,154 --> 00:12:01,490 A couple rules... 520 00:11:59,154 --> 00:12:01,490 Not even rules. 521 00:12:01,490 --> 00:12:06,495 Let's call them 522 00:12:01,490 --> 00:12:06,495 "Guidelines 523 00:12:01,490 --> 00:12:06,495 for harmonious living." 524 00:12:06,495 --> 00:12:09,705 Guideline 525 00:12:06,495 --> 00:12:09,705 for harmonious living 526 00:12:06,495 --> 00:12:09,705 number one, 527 00:12:09,705 --> 00:12:13,584 the kitchen sink 528 00:12:09,705 --> 00:12:13,584 is for dishes, 529 00:12:09,705 --> 00:12:13,584 the toilet is for pee-pee. 530 00:12:13,584 --> 00:12:15,795 number two, 531 00:12:15,795 --> 00:12:18,714 marijuana is illegal 532 00:12:15,795 --> 00:12:18,714 in the United States, 533 00:12:18,714 --> 00:12:21,050 even when baked 534 00:12:18,714 --> 00:12:21,050 into a blueberry muffin 535 00:12:21,050 --> 00:12:23,761 that someone 536 00:12:21,050 --> 00:12:23,761 might mistakenly eat 537 00:12:21,050 --> 00:12:23,761 for breakfast 538 00:12:23,761 --> 00:12:27,598 right before they leave 539 00:12:23,761 --> 00:12:27,598 for their job 540 00:12:23,761 --> 00:12:27,598 as a TV newscaster. 541 00:12:27,598 --> 00:12:29,434 This just in... 542 00:12:29,434 --> 00:12:32,645 "Look at my hand. 543 00:12:29,434 --> 00:12:32,645 How weird is my hand?" 544 00:12:32,645 --> 00:12:35,898 Is not an appropriate thing 545 00:12:32,645 --> 00:12:35,898 to say on the air. 546 00:12:35,898 --> 00:12:37,484 And number three, I... 547 00:12:40,862 --> 00:12:44,449 And number three is 548 00:12:40,862 --> 00:12:44,449 please keep 549 00:12:40,862 --> 00:12:44,449 the noise to a minimum. 550 00:12:44,449 --> 00:12:46,576 I have to take a nap. 551 00:12:46,576 --> 00:12:48,453 I'm still pretty baked. 552 00:12:52,415 --> 00:12:56,169 Everything's so bright, 553 00:12:52,415 --> 00:12:56,169 even at night. 554 00:12:56,169 --> 00:12:58,880 No wonder this city 555 00:12:56,169 --> 00:12:58,880 never sleeps. 556 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:00,715 Hey, if we're going north, 557 00:13:00,715 --> 00:13:02,342 why did we cross over the FDR? 558 00:13:00,715 --> 00:13:02,342 We should 559 00:13:00,715 --> 00:13:02,342 have taken the Hudson. 560 00:13:02,342 --> 00:13:04,760 Now he knows 561 00:13:02,342 --> 00:13:04,760 all the streets. 562 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:07,514 Someone's been watching 563 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:07,514 too many Steinfeld reruns. 564 00:13:08,681 --> 00:13:10,392 Where are we even going 565 00:13:08,681 --> 00:13:10,392 anyway? 566 00:13:10,392 --> 00:13:12,101 148th and Brook Ave. 567 00:13:12,101 --> 00:13:15,271 A hundred... 568 00:13:12,101 --> 00:13:15,271 In the south Bronx? 569 00:13:12,101 --> 00:13:15,271 At this time of night? 570 00:13:15,271 --> 00:13:16,523 We're going to 571 00:13:15,271 --> 00:13:16,523 get killed. 572 00:13:16,523 --> 00:13:19,192 Ted, I think these 573 00:13:16,523 --> 00:13:19,192 local New Yorkers 574 00:13:19,192 --> 00:13:23,154 know more about the city 575 00:13:19,192 --> 00:13:23,154 than we do, so relax. 576 00:13:23,154 --> 00:13:25,865 We're in 577 00:13:23,154 --> 00:13:25,865 very capable hands. 578 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:29,202 There were three of them, 579 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:29,202 at least two guns. 580 00:13:29,202 --> 00:13:30,453 They took 581 00:13:29,202 --> 00:13:30,453 all our money. 582 00:13:30,453 --> 00:13:32,997 Well, I only had 583 00:13:30,453 --> 00:13:32,997 traveler's checks. 584 00:13:34,916 --> 00:13:36,501 Hey, babe. 585 00:13:36,501 --> 00:13:39,170 I've been thinking 586 00:13:36,501 --> 00:13:39,170 about our fight. 587 00:13:39,170 --> 00:13:40,380 Yes? 588 00:13:41,297 --> 00:13:43,716 I'm really, really 589 00:13:43,716 --> 00:13:47,470 surprised that 590 00:13:43,716 --> 00:13:47,470 you haven't apologized 591 00:13:43,716 --> 00:13:47,470 to me yet. 592 00:13:47,470 --> 00:13:50,640 Wow. You really want to 593 00:13:47,470 --> 00:13:50,640 open this up again. 594 00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:53,768 Oh, I forgot, 595 00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:53,768 you open everything up, 596 00:13:53,768 --> 00:13:56,187 even if you're not 597 00:13:53,768 --> 00:13:56,187 supposed to 598 00:13:53,768 --> 00:13:56,187 until I'm dead. 599 00:13:56,187 --> 00:13:57,522 You know that 600 00:13:56,187 --> 00:13:57,522 this is important to me. 601 00:13:57,522 --> 00:13:59,315 Why won't you 602 00:13:57,522 --> 00:13:59,315 just write the letter? 603 00:13:59,315 --> 00:14:02,151 Because I can't bear 604 00:13:59,315 --> 00:14:02,151 the thought 605 00:13:59,315 --> 00:14:02,151 of not being with you, 606 00:14:02,151 --> 00:14:05,405 not even for long enough 607 00:14:02,151 --> 00:14:05,405 to write you 608 00:14:02,151 --> 00:14:05,405 a stupid letter. 609 00:14:06,364 --> 00:14:07,616 Really? 610 00:14:07,616 --> 00:14:09,367 Yes, really. 611 00:14:09,367 --> 00:14:11,119 Plus, I know 612 00:14:09,367 --> 00:14:11,119 as soon as I write it, 613 00:14:11,119 --> 00:14:12,745 you're just going to 614 00:14:11,119 --> 00:14:12,745 open it up 615 00:14:11,119 --> 00:14:12,745 and read it again. 616 00:14:12,745 --> 00:14:14,830 Lily, I won't, 617 00:14:12,745 --> 00:14:14,830 I promise. 618 00:14:16,249 --> 00:14:17,667 Okay. 619 00:14:17,667 --> 00:14:20,670 I'll write you a letter 620 00:14:17,667 --> 00:14:20,670 for my death folder. 621 00:14:20,670 --> 00:14:24,507 Do you mind, maybe 622 00:14:20,670 --> 00:14:24,507 slipping in a little bit 623 00:14:20,670 --> 00:14:24,507 of dirty stuff, too? 624 00:14:25,467 --> 00:14:27,218 I tell you what. 625 00:14:27,218 --> 00:14:29,345 How about 626 00:14:27,218 --> 00:14:29,345 I make it all dirty stuff 627 00:14:29,345 --> 00:14:32,223 and slip in 628 00:14:29,345 --> 00:14:32,223 a little clean stuff? 629 00:14:32,223 --> 00:14:34,350 You're the best. 630 00:14:32,223 --> 00:14:34,350 Hmm. 631 00:14:34,350 --> 00:14:36,561 And maybe 632 00:14:34,350 --> 00:14:36,561 a couple Polaroids? 633 00:14:38,438 --> 00:14:39,772 Come on, 634 00:14:38,438 --> 00:14:39,772 let's get out of here. 635 00:14:39,772 --> 00:14:40,773 This night's a disaster. 636 00:14:40,773 --> 00:14:42,400 What? 637 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:44,486 This night couldn't 638 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:44,486 have gone any better. 639 00:14:44,486 --> 00:14:47,447 We just survived a mugging, 640 00:14:44,486 --> 00:14:47,447 you know what that means. 641 00:14:47,447 --> 00:14:49,115 "Thank God 642 00:14:47,447 --> 00:14:49,115 we're alive" sex. 643 00:14:49,115 --> 00:14:51,367 "Thank God 644 00:14:49,115 --> 00:14:51,367 we're alive" sex. 645 00:14:51,367 --> 00:14:53,703 It's even better than 646 00:14:51,367 --> 00:14:53,703 "I can't believe 647 00:14:51,367 --> 00:14:53,703 you just proposed to me" sex, 648 00:14:53,703 --> 00:14:55,497 which I've only had, 649 00:14:53,703 --> 00:14:55,497 like, four or five times. 650 00:14:55,497 --> 00:14:57,957 Ted, please, 651 00:14:55,497 --> 00:14:57,957 we are so close. 652 00:14:59,292 --> 00:15:01,127 All right, I'm in. 653 00:15:01,127 --> 00:15:02,671 I've never worked 654 00:15:01,127 --> 00:15:02,671 this hard 655 00:15:01,127 --> 00:15:02,671 for anything in my life. 656 00:15:02,671 --> 00:15:04,964 Oh, wow. 657 00:15:04,964 --> 00:15:08,176 I think we all need 658 00:15:04,964 --> 00:15:08,176 to go back to our place 659 00:15:04,964 --> 00:15:08,176 and recover. 660 00:15:08,176 --> 00:15:09,760 Hmm. 661 00:15:08,176 --> 00:15:09,760 Yeah. 662 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:12,221 I just want to celebrate 663 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:12,221 the fact that we survived. 664 00:15:12,221 --> 00:15:13,389 You know? 665 00:15:14,307 --> 00:15:15,725 Me, too. 666 00:15:15,725 --> 00:15:17,644 So where do you live? 667 00:15:17,644 --> 00:15:19,604 What, West Village? 668 00:15:17,644 --> 00:15:19,604 Close. 669 00:15:19,604 --> 00:15:21,230 West Orange. 670 00:15:22,190 --> 00:15:23,692 West Orange, 671 00:15:22,190 --> 00:15:23,692 New Jersey? 672 00:15:23,692 --> 00:15:25,443 Yeah. 673 00:15:25,443 --> 00:15:28,070 You guys live in New Jersey, 674 00:15:25,443 --> 00:15:28,070 not New York? 675 00:15:28,070 --> 00:15:29,405 Theodore. 676 00:15:28,070 --> 00:15:29,405 Yup. 677 00:15:29,405 --> 00:15:31,073 New Jersey? 678 00:15:29,405 --> 00:15:31,073 Teddy. 679 00:15:31,073 --> 00:15:32,659 Yeah, but don't worry, 680 00:15:31,073 --> 00:15:32,659 it's pretty 681 00:15:31,073 --> 00:15:32,659 much New York. 682 00:15:32,659 --> 00:15:34,577 Oh, no. 683 00:15:34,577 --> 00:15:36,245 Oh, no. 684 00:15:34,577 --> 00:15:36,245 Oh, no. 685 00:15:36,245 --> 00:15:38,665 New Jersey is not 686 00:15:36,245 --> 00:15:38,665 "pretty much New York." 687 00:15:38,665 --> 00:15:41,668 You are not 688 00:15:38,665 --> 00:15:41,668 "pretty much New Yorkers." 689 00:15:41,668 --> 00:15:43,545 And how would you know? 690 00:15:41,668 --> 00:15:43,545 Because I live here. 691 00:15:43,545 --> 00:15:46,839 That's right, I live here. 692 00:15:43,545 --> 00:15:46,839 Yes, we're full of crap. 693 00:15:46,839 --> 00:15:49,091 Yes, we pretended 694 00:15:46,839 --> 00:15:49,091 to be from out of town 695 00:15:49,091 --> 00:15:50,593 so we could sleep with you 696 00:15:49,091 --> 00:15:50,593 and leave in the morning. 697 00:15:50,593 --> 00:15:52,428 But you know 698 00:15:50,593 --> 00:15:52,428 what's even worse 699 00:15:50,593 --> 00:15:52,428 than that? 700 00:15:52,428 --> 00:15:55,097 Saying you're a New Yorker 701 00:15:52,428 --> 00:15:55,097 when you're not. 702 00:15:55,097 --> 00:15:56,891 Because this is 703 00:15:55,097 --> 00:15:56,891 the greatest city 704 00:15:55,097 --> 00:15:56,891 in the world 705 00:15:56,891 --> 00:15:59,769 and you have to earn the right 706 00:15:56,891 --> 00:15:59,769 to call yourself a New Yorker. 707 00:15:59,769 --> 00:16:03,147 So why don't you girls 708 00:15:59,769 --> 00:16:03,147 crawl into 709 00:15:59,769 --> 00:16:03,147 the open sewer pipe 710 00:16:03,147 --> 00:16:05,149 you call 711 00:16:03,147 --> 00:16:05,149 the Holland Tunnel 712 00:16:05,149 --> 00:16:08,361 and flush yourselves back 713 00:16:05,149 --> 00:16:08,361 to "pretty much New York." 714 00:16:08,361 --> 00:16:10,821 Because I will do 715 00:16:08,361 --> 00:16:10,821 a lot to get laid, 716 00:16:10,821 --> 00:16:14,367 but I am not going 717 00:16:10,821 --> 00:16:14,367 to New Jersey! 718 00:16:18,204 --> 00:16:21,374 You're not 719 00:16:18,204 --> 00:16:21,374 from Missouri? 720 00:16:22,917 --> 00:16:26,421 Well, I will be 721 00:16:22,917 --> 00:16:26,421 a monkey's... 722 00:16:27,463 --> 00:16:29,257 Right. 723 00:16:27,463 --> 00:16:29,257 Can we get a ride? 724 00:16:33,052 --> 00:16:35,471 Hey, sir, 725 00:16:33,052 --> 00:16:35,471 can we get a ride, too? 726 00:16:35,471 --> 00:16:37,557 Newark, 727 00:16:35,471 --> 00:16:37,557 born and raised. 728 00:16:50,152 --> 00:16:52,321 Can you please 729 00:16:50,152 --> 00:16:52,321 keep it down? 730 00:16:53,615 --> 00:16:56,033 What happened to you, man? 731 00:16:56,033 --> 00:16:58,745 You said 732 00:16:56,033 --> 00:16:58,745 you wouldn't change, 733 00:16:56,033 --> 00:16:58,745 but look at you. 734 00:16:58,745 --> 00:17:02,749 No more tan, 735 00:16:58,745 --> 00:17:02,749 no more beaded braids, 736 00:17:02,749 --> 00:17:06,919 no more lush, 737 00:17:02,749 --> 00:17:06,919 untamed forest of leg 738 00:17:02,749 --> 00:17:06,919 and armpit hair. 739 00:17:08,254 --> 00:17:10,632 You're back at work. 740 00:17:08,254 --> 00:17:10,632 What gives? 741 00:17:10,632 --> 00:17:12,759 Well, I have to 742 00:17:10,632 --> 00:17:12,759 have a job. 743 00:17:12,759 --> 00:17:14,761 "I have to have a job." 744 00:17:14,761 --> 00:17:17,179 God, that's so American. 745 00:17:17,179 --> 00:17:19,599 I'm Canadian. 746 00:17:17,179 --> 00:17:19,599 You know that. 747 00:17:19,599 --> 00:17:21,601 What about 748 00:17:19,599 --> 00:17:21,601 the important things, 749 00:17:21,601 --> 00:17:23,603 like making 750 00:17:21,601 --> 00:17:23,603 your own jewelry 751 00:17:23,603 --> 00:17:28,107 and lying on the beach 752 00:17:23,603 --> 00:17:28,107 and thinking about peace? 753 00:17:28,107 --> 00:17:31,653 God, don't you care 754 00:17:28,107 --> 00:17:31,653 about thinking about peace? 755 00:17:31,653 --> 00:17:33,195 Wow! 756 00:17:33,195 --> 00:17:35,114 I just realized something. 757 00:17:35,114 --> 00:17:36,574 That you've 758 00:17:35,114 --> 00:17:36,574 lost your way. 759 00:17:36,574 --> 00:17:39,368 No, that 760 00:17:36,574 --> 00:17:39,368 you really suck. 761 00:17:39,368 --> 00:17:42,330 You're boring and lame 762 00:17:39,368 --> 00:17:42,330 and you're getting sand 763 00:17:39,368 --> 00:17:42,330 everywhere. 764 00:17:42,330 --> 00:17:45,458 Seriously, 765 00:17:42,330 --> 00:17:45,458 where is all the sand 766 00:17:42,330 --> 00:17:45,458 coming from? 767 00:17:45,458 --> 00:17:47,376 You're not the real me. 768 00:17:47,376 --> 00:17:52,131 All you are is me on vacation 769 00:17:47,376 --> 00:17:52,131 trying to get away 770 00:17:47,376 --> 00:17:52,131 from a break-up. 771 00:17:52,131 --> 00:17:54,467 Don't you remember 772 00:17:52,131 --> 00:17:54,467 Argentina? 773 00:17:58,596 --> 00:18:01,432 Do you want to go back? 774 00:18:01,432 --> 00:18:03,309 What are you doing? 775 00:18:01,432 --> 00:18:03,309 Shh... 776 00:18:07,271 --> 00:18:09,315 Let this happen. 777 00:18:24,163 --> 00:18:25,414 All right, everyone out. 778 00:18:26,374 --> 00:18:28,292 I said everyone out! 779 00:18:39,637 --> 00:18:41,597 All right, 780 00:18:39,637 --> 00:18:41,597 we're leaving. 781 00:18:39,637 --> 00:18:41,597 We're leaving, okay. 782 00:18:41,597 --> 00:18:43,474 Michael Moore 783 00:18:41,597 --> 00:18:43,474 was so right 784 00:18:41,597 --> 00:18:43,474 about Americans. 785 00:18:43,474 --> 00:18:45,393 I'm Canadian! 786 00:18:49,814 --> 00:18:51,774 Robin, you okay? 787 00:18:52,692 --> 00:18:55,528 No, I'm not. 788 00:18:55,528 --> 00:18:58,113 Listen, Gael, 789 00:18:55,528 --> 00:18:58,113 I need to talk to you 790 00:18:55,528 --> 00:18:58,113 about something. 791 00:18:58,113 --> 00:18:59,615 After they broke up, 792 00:18:59,615 --> 00:19:01,868 Robin went back 793 00:18:59,615 --> 00:19:01,868 to being Robin. 794 00:19:01,868 --> 00:19:03,536 Welcome home, Scherbatsky. 795 00:19:03,536 --> 00:19:05,705 Oh, good to be back. 796 00:19:05,705 --> 00:19:07,998 Although it's weird, 797 00:19:07,998 --> 00:19:10,125 vacation Robin 798 00:19:07,998 --> 00:19:10,125 popped into my dream 799 00:19:07,998 --> 00:19:10,125 again last night. 800 00:19:10,125 --> 00:19:11,293 Listening. 801 00:19:11,293 --> 00:19:13,421 This time 802 00:19:11,293 --> 00:19:13,421 we went all the way. 803 00:19:13,421 --> 00:19:15,297 Tell you one thing. 804 00:19:15,297 --> 00:19:17,967 She may be sandy, 805 00:19:15,297 --> 00:19:17,967 but that chick 806 00:19:15,297 --> 00:19:17,967 knows what I like. 807 00:19:24,682 --> 00:19:27,560 Okay, I'm done. 808 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:29,812 But I really don't want 809 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:29,812 you reading this unless... 810 00:19:29,812 --> 00:19:32,565 You know, 811 00:19:29,812 --> 00:19:32,565 something happens. 812 00:19:32,565 --> 00:19:34,483 Can you swear to me 813 00:19:32,565 --> 00:19:34,483 you won't open it? 814 00:19:34,483 --> 00:19:36,819 Totally. 815 00:19:34,483 --> 00:19:36,819 What does it say? 816 00:19:36,819 --> 00:19:38,905 Marshall, I'm serious. 817 00:19:38,905 --> 00:19:40,656 Okay. 818 00:19:40,656 --> 00:19:43,868 I promise I won't... 819 00:19:40,656 --> 00:19:43,868 I won't open that 820 00:19:40,656 --> 00:19:43,868 until you're dead. 821 00:19:43,868 --> 00:19:45,661 Okay. 822 00:19:45,661 --> 00:19:47,288 And through 22 wonderful years 823 00:19:45,661 --> 00:19:47,288 of marriage, 824 00:19:47,288 --> 00:19:49,916 Marshall kept his promise. 825 00:19:49,916 --> 00:19:51,876 Until November 1st 826 00:19:49,916 --> 00:19:51,876 of last year, 827 00:19:51,876 --> 00:19:53,544 when, sadly... 828 00:20:08,517 --> 00:20:11,395 Busted! I knew 829 00:20:08,517 --> 00:20:11,395 you'd read this. 830 00:20:11,395 --> 00:20:14,273 You suck, Marshall, 831 00:20:11,395 --> 00:20:14,273 you totally suck. 832 00:20:16,484 --> 00:20:17,693 That's it? 833 00:20:18,611 --> 00:20:19,821 I suck? 834 00:20:20,905 --> 00:20:22,448 Lily. 835 00:20:20,905 --> 00:20:22,448 Yes, you suck. 836 00:20:22,448 --> 00:20:24,492 You said 837 00:20:22,448 --> 00:20:24,492 you wouldn't read it 838 00:20:22,448 --> 00:20:24,492 and you did. 839 00:20:24,492 --> 00:20:26,243 Well, you didn't 840 00:20:24,492 --> 00:20:26,243 keep your promise, either. 841 00:20:26,243 --> 00:20:27,745 I don't see 842 00:20:26,243 --> 00:20:27,745 any dirty pictures 843 00:20:26,243 --> 00:20:27,745 in here. 844 00:20:27,745 --> 00:20:30,832 Oh, fine, I'll take 845 00:20:27,745 --> 00:20:30,832 the dirty pictures. 846 00:20:30,832 --> 00:20:33,208 I don't want them now. 847 00:20:33,208 --> 00:20:34,710 What is that 848 00:20:33,208 --> 00:20:34,710 supposed to mean? 849 00:20:34,710 --> 00:20:37,463 What? 850 00:20:34,710 --> 00:20:37,463 Nothing. Nothing. 851 00:20:37,463 --> 00:20:39,423 You're beautiful. 852 00:20:37,463 --> 00:20:39,423 I would love the photos. 853 00:20:39,423 --> 00:20:40,508 Have I told you 854 00:20:39,423 --> 00:20:40,508 how beautiful you look?