1 00:00:01,281 --> 00:00:03,199 It was Saturday night 2 00:00:01,281 --> 00:00:03,199 in New York City, 3 00:00:03,199 --> 00:00:05,452 and the young metropolitan set 4 00:00:03,199 --> 00:00:05,452 was out on the town, 5 00:00:05,452 --> 00:00:07,120 living the kind of 6 00:00:05,452 --> 00:00:07,120 crazy lifestyle 7 00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:08,705 you can only find 8 00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:08,705 in the Big Apple. 9 00:00:08,705 --> 00:00:13,376 97, 98, 99, 10 00:00:14,294 --> 00:00:15,587 100! 11 00:00:17,380 --> 00:00:20,175 A hundred? 12 00:00:17,380 --> 00:00:20,175 We only got to 82 13 00:00:17,380 --> 00:00:20,175 on our honeymoon. 14 00:00:21,426 --> 00:00:24,095 So, Robin, 15 00:00:21,426 --> 00:00:24,095 I've got a guy for you. 16 00:00:24,095 --> 00:00:26,264 He's cute. 17 00:00:24,095 --> 00:00:26,264 He's funny. 18 00:00:24,095 --> 00:00:26,264 He's smart. 19 00:00:26,264 --> 00:00:28,017 Mmm. What's his "but"? 20 00:00:26,264 --> 00:00:28,017 What do you mean? 21 00:00:28,017 --> 00:00:29,601 When someone 22 00:00:28,017 --> 00:00:29,601 wants to set you up, 23 00:00:29,601 --> 00:00:31,102 they always tell you 24 00:00:29,601 --> 00:00:31,102 their good qualities first, 25 00:00:31,102 --> 00:00:33,271 but then they leave out 26 00:00:31,102 --> 00:00:33,271 their huge flaw. 27 00:00:33,271 --> 00:00:35,565 She's totally hot 28 00:00:33,271 --> 00:00:35,565 and really fun. 29 00:00:35,565 --> 00:00:37,651 But she has a dead tooth. 30 00:00:37,651 --> 00:00:40,863 She's super-hot, 31 00:00:37,651 --> 00:00:40,863 and she's so successful. 32 00:00:40,863 --> 00:00:44,199 But she has a pug 33 00:00:40,863 --> 00:00:44,199 that she pushes around 34 00:00:40,863 --> 00:00:44,199 in a stroller. 35 00:00:44,199 --> 00:00:47,036 She's so cute, 36 00:00:44,199 --> 00:00:47,036 and she's so smart. 37 00:00:47,036 --> 00:00:49,997 But her last boyfriend 38 00:00:47,036 --> 00:00:49,997 had to get a restraining order 39 00:00:47,036 --> 00:00:49,997 against her, 40 00:00:49,997 --> 00:00:53,333 and then his cat 41 00:00:49,997 --> 00:00:53,333 and new vacuum cleaner 42 00:00:49,997 --> 00:00:53,333 both went missing. 43 00:00:53,333 --> 00:00:55,377 Wow, set it up. 44 00:00:55,377 --> 00:00:57,337 I'm still convinced 45 00:00:55,377 --> 00:00:57,337 she killed my turtle. 46 00:00:57,337 --> 00:01:00,131 Hey, you know what? 47 00:00:57,337 --> 00:01:00,131 Not every setup has a "but." 48 00:01:00,131 --> 00:01:02,009 What about, um, Jamie, 49 00:01:02,009 --> 00:01:03,552 that girl that Lily 50 00:01:02,009 --> 00:01:03,552 set you up with? 51 00:01:02,009 --> 00:01:03,552 She was really nice. 52 00:01:03,552 --> 00:01:05,971 If memory serves me, 53 00:01:03,552 --> 00:01:05,971 she had a huge "but." 54 00:01:05,971 --> 00:01:07,723 Her huge butt. 55 00:01:05,971 --> 00:01:07,723 Nailed it! 56 00:01:07,723 --> 00:01:09,307 Yeah. 57 00:01:09,307 --> 00:01:10,976 Well, there's nothing 58 00:01:09,307 --> 00:01:10,976 wrong with this guy. 59 00:01:10,976 --> 00:01:13,144 He's really nice, 60 00:01:10,976 --> 00:01:13,144 and he's really cute... 61 00:01:13,144 --> 00:01:14,563 But? 62 00:01:14,563 --> 00:01:16,065 Fine. 63 00:01:16,065 --> 00:01:17,107 But he has a kid. 64 00:01:18,942 --> 00:01:21,236 Aha! There it is! 65 00:01:18,942 --> 00:01:21,236 Robin's not going out 66 00:01:18,942 --> 00:01:21,236 with a guy with a kid. 67 00:01:21,236 --> 00:01:24,322 But the guy is really great, 68 00:01:21,236 --> 00:01:24,322 and his kid's sweet. 69 00:01:21,236 --> 00:01:24,322 He's in my class. 70 00:01:24,322 --> 00:01:25,490 It doesn't matter. 71 00:01:24,322 --> 00:01:25,490 Robin hates kids. 72 00:01:25,490 --> 00:01:26,575 Yeah. 73 00:01:26,575 --> 00:01:28,201 I don't hate kids. 74 00:01:28,201 --> 00:01:31,246 You told me 75 00:01:28,201 --> 00:01:31,246 even when you were a kid, 76 00:01:28,201 --> 00:01:31,246 you hated kids. 77 00:01:31,246 --> 00:01:34,583 Robin, will you watch 78 00:01:31,246 --> 00:01:34,583 cartoons with me? 79 00:01:34,583 --> 00:01:36,251 I go to school all week. 80 00:01:36,251 --> 00:01:38,169 Can't I just have 81 00:01:36,251 --> 00:01:38,169 five minutes to myself 82 00:01:38,169 --> 00:01:42,841 to read Highlights 83 00:01:38,169 --> 00:01:42,841 and drink my juice? 84 00:01:42,841 --> 00:01:45,761 Okay, yes, 85 00:01:42,841 --> 00:01:45,761 kids are not my favorite 86 00:01:42,841 --> 00:01:45,761 thing in the world, 87 00:01:45,761 --> 00:01:46,970 but I like them. 88 00:01:46,970 --> 00:01:48,346 Well, you don't want to 89 00:01:46,970 --> 00:01:48,346 have them. 90 00:01:48,346 --> 00:01:50,140 I like sports cars, 91 00:01:50,140 --> 00:01:52,851 but it doesn't mean 92 00:01:50,140 --> 00:01:52,851 I want to push a Ferrari 93 00:01:50,140 --> 00:01:52,851 through my vagina. 94 00:01:52,851 --> 00:01:53,977 Shotgun. 95 00:01:55,854 --> 00:01:57,647 You can't blame us 96 00:01:55,854 --> 00:01:57,647 for thinking that the kid 97 00:01:55,854 --> 00:01:57,647 would be a problem. 98 00:01:57,647 --> 00:01:59,274 I mean, if we were friends 99 00:01:57,647 --> 00:01:59,274 with Garfield, 100 00:01:59,274 --> 00:02:01,526 we wouldn't set him up 101 00:01:59,274 --> 00:02:01,526 on a date with Mondays. 102 00:02:01,526 --> 00:02:02,945 Nice. 103 00:02:02,945 --> 00:02:04,113 You know what? 104 00:02:02,945 --> 00:02:04,113 The kid 105 00:02:02,945 --> 00:02:04,113 is not a problem. 106 00:02:04,113 --> 00:02:05,196 I want to 107 00:02:04,113 --> 00:02:05,196 meet this guy. 108 00:02:05,196 --> 00:02:06,656 Okay. That's awesome! 109 00:02:06,656 --> 00:02:09,743 Yeah. 110 00:02:06,656 --> 00:02:09,743 Hey, what's my "but"? 111 00:02:09,743 --> 00:02:12,955 You know, I'm a... 112 00:02:09,743 --> 00:02:12,955 I'm really nice but... 113 00:02:12,955 --> 00:02:14,664 But she's afraid 114 00:02:12,955 --> 00:02:14,664 of commitment. 115 00:02:14,664 --> 00:02:16,332 But she's a gun nut. 116 00:02:16,332 --> 00:02:17,960 But she's Canadian. 117 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:19,753 But she didn't 118 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:19,753 like Field of Dreams. 119 00:02:19,753 --> 00:02:20,963 I can't 120 00:02:19,753 --> 00:02:20,963 think of one. 121 00:02:20,963 --> 00:02:22,172 You don't 122 00:02:20,963 --> 00:02:22,172 have a but. 123 00:02:39,522 --> 00:02:42,985 Okay, I've got it. 124 00:02:39,522 --> 00:02:42,985 Here, put on 125 00:02:39,522 --> 00:02:42,985 this eye patch. 126 00:02:42,985 --> 00:02:44,069 Why? 127 00:02:44,069 --> 00:02:46,905 The ultimate ice-breaker. 128 00:02:46,905 --> 00:02:49,992 A bunch of cobras got loose 129 00:02:46,905 --> 00:02:49,992 in Central Park, 130 00:02:49,992 --> 00:02:52,577 you and I are jogging, 131 00:02:52,577 --> 00:02:54,913 training for 132 00:02:52,577 --> 00:02:54,913 the Death Valley Ironman. 133 00:02:54,913 --> 00:02:57,040 No big deal. 134 00:02:54,913 --> 00:02:57,040 We do it every year. 135 00:02:57,040 --> 00:03:00,335 Suddenly, we see 136 00:02:57,040 --> 00:03:00,335 these snake bastards 137 00:03:00,335 --> 00:03:03,588 sneaking towards 138 00:03:00,335 --> 00:03:03,588 a little baby. 139 00:03:03,588 --> 00:03:06,091 Not on our watch. 140 00:03:03,588 --> 00:03:06,091 You grab the kid. 141 00:03:06,091 --> 00:03:11,180 I strangle six cobras 142 00:03:06,091 --> 00:03:11,180 with my bare hands. 143 00:03:11,180 --> 00:03:13,765 Women of New York, 144 00:03:11,180 --> 00:03:13,765 one at a time, please. 145 00:03:15,809 --> 00:03:17,727 So, what're 146 00:03:15,809 --> 00:03:17,727 the eye patches for? 147 00:03:17,727 --> 00:03:18,979 We got bit. 148 00:03:18,979 --> 00:03:20,647 On the eye? 149 00:03:20,647 --> 00:03:22,191 Yes. 150 00:03:22,191 --> 00:03:23,859 Both of us? 151 00:03:23,859 --> 00:03:27,570 They're different eyes. 152 00:03:23,859 --> 00:03:27,570 I don't see 153 00:03:23,859 --> 00:03:27,570 why this bumps you! 154 00:03:27,570 --> 00:03:29,948 Patch up! 155 00:03:29,948 --> 00:03:31,908 So, Robin 156 00:03:29,948 --> 00:03:31,908 went on a date with George, 157 00:03:31,908 --> 00:03:34,161 the guy with the kid, 158 00:03:31,908 --> 00:03:34,161 and afterwards... 159 00:03:34,161 --> 00:03:35,704 Okay, here's the thing, 160 00:03:35,704 --> 00:03:38,957 George is a great guy. 161 00:03:35,704 --> 00:03:38,957 We had a wonderful date... 162 00:03:38,957 --> 00:03:40,667 But... 163 00:03:40,667 --> 00:03:43,170 Great, I can't wait 164 00:03:40,667 --> 00:03:43,170 to meet him. 165 00:03:43,170 --> 00:03:44,838 "Can't wait to meet him?" 166 00:03:44,838 --> 00:03:47,382 Why did I say that? 167 00:03:44,838 --> 00:03:47,382 I don't want 168 00:03:44,838 --> 00:03:47,382 to meet his kid. 169 00:03:47,382 --> 00:03:49,592 Well, you knew 170 00:03:47,382 --> 00:03:49,592 you'd meet him 171 00:03:47,382 --> 00:03:49,592 sooner or later. 172 00:03:49,592 --> 00:03:52,554 Oh, I was just hoping 173 00:03:49,592 --> 00:03:52,554 for later, 174 00:03:49,592 --> 00:03:52,554 like in 20 years, 175 00:03:52,554 --> 00:03:55,348 when I'm a cougar 176 00:03:52,554 --> 00:03:55,348 and he's as hot as his dad. 177 00:03:55,348 --> 00:04:00,145 Robin, what's the big deal? 178 00:03:55,348 --> 00:04:00,145 He's just a kid. 179 00:03:55,348 --> 00:04:00,145 He's not going to bite. 180 00:04:00,145 --> 00:04:03,273 He may bite. 181 00:04:00,145 --> 00:04:03,273 We're working on biting. 182 00:04:03,273 --> 00:04:06,193 Why is his kid around anyway? 183 00:04:03,273 --> 00:04:06,193 Shouldn't he be with his mom? 184 00:04:06,193 --> 00:04:08,237 I mean, 185 00:04:06,193 --> 00:04:08,237 what kind of lawyer 186 00:04:06,193 --> 00:04:08,237 does this guy have, 187 00:04:08,237 --> 00:04:10,739 if he has to take care 188 00:04:08,237 --> 00:04:10,739 of the kid all the time? 189 00:04:10,739 --> 00:04:12,657 A good one. 190 00:04:10,739 --> 00:04:12,657 He won full custody. 191 00:04:12,657 --> 00:04:16,078 He won? He won? 192 00:04:16,078 --> 00:04:19,998 Oh, God, 193 00:04:16,078 --> 00:04:19,998 getting the kid is winning, 194 00:04:16,078 --> 00:04:19,998 isn't it? 195 00:04:19,998 --> 00:04:23,168 Don't tell anyone 196 00:04:19,998 --> 00:04:23,168 I said that. 197 00:04:23,168 --> 00:04:25,670 I'm going out 198 00:04:23,168 --> 00:04:25,670 buying eye patches. 199 00:04:25,670 --> 00:04:27,380 What are you doing 200 00:04:25,670 --> 00:04:27,380 to help score chicks? 201 00:04:27,380 --> 00:04:28,924 Okay, I'm gonna 202 00:04:27,380 --> 00:04:28,924 let you in 203 00:04:27,380 --> 00:04:28,924 on a little secret. 204 00:04:28,924 --> 00:04:31,718 People with real game 205 00:04:28,924 --> 00:04:31,718 don't need eye patches. 206 00:04:31,718 --> 00:04:34,345 Oh, Theodore. 207 00:04:34,345 --> 00:04:36,265 No. No. No. 208 00:04:36,265 --> 00:04:39,851 You can't spell "game" 209 00:04:36,265 --> 00:04:39,851 without "me," 210 00:04:39,851 --> 00:04:42,104 and me has 211 00:04:39,851 --> 00:04:42,104 the best game. 212 00:04:42,104 --> 00:04:45,690 Yeah, well, 213 00:04:42,104 --> 00:04:45,690 I got so much game, 214 00:04:42,104 --> 00:04:45,690 I'm Cornish game hen. 215 00:04:45,690 --> 00:04:48,277 Oh, yeah? 216 00:04:45,690 --> 00:04:48,277 I'm the New York state 217 00:04:45,690 --> 00:04:48,277 gaming commissioner. 218 00:04:48,277 --> 00:04:49,736 Well, I'm The Game, 219 00:04:49,736 --> 00:04:51,113 well-crafted, 220 00:04:49,736 --> 00:04:51,113 keep-you-guessing thriller 221 00:04:51,113 --> 00:04:53,282 starring Michael Douglas 222 00:04:51,113 --> 00:04:53,282 and Sean Penn. 223 00:04:53,282 --> 00:04:54,532 Wow. 224 00:04:55,700 --> 00:04:58,787 Wow. You're here, 225 00:04:55,700 --> 00:04:58,787 and not in stall two. 226 00:04:59,746 --> 00:05:01,497 Yeah. So? 227 00:05:01,497 --> 00:05:03,625 I may have made some 228 00:05:03,625 --> 00:05:05,835 wildly inappropriate 229 00:05:03,625 --> 00:05:05,835 homoerotic comments 230 00:05:05,835 --> 00:05:08,130 to a gentleman 231 00:05:05,835 --> 00:05:08,130 wearing your shoes. 232 00:05:09,005 --> 00:05:11,633 Okay, Marshall? 233 00:05:09,005 --> 00:05:11,633 Yes. 234 00:05:11,633 --> 00:05:14,469 Which one of us 235 00:05:11,633 --> 00:05:14,469 has more game? 236 00:05:14,469 --> 00:05:16,471 Neither of you guys 237 00:05:14,469 --> 00:05:16,471 has any game, right? 238 00:05:16,471 --> 00:05:19,474 Or else you'd be married 239 00:05:16,471 --> 00:05:19,474 like me. 240 00:05:19,474 --> 00:05:21,559 What? 241 00:05:19,474 --> 00:05:21,559 If dating is the game, 242 00:05:21,559 --> 00:05:24,729 then marriage 243 00:05:21,559 --> 00:05:24,729 is winning the game. 244 00:05:24,729 --> 00:05:27,023 Yeah. If you're playing 245 00:05:24,729 --> 00:05:27,023 in the women's league. 246 00:05:27,023 --> 00:05:29,943 You're joking. 247 00:05:27,023 --> 00:05:29,943 I have mad game, brah. 248 00:05:29,943 --> 00:05:35,448 Okay. One, we agreed 249 00:05:29,943 --> 00:05:35,448 not to ever say 250 00:05:29,943 --> 00:05:35,448 "brah" anymore. 251 00:05:35,448 --> 00:05:38,827 It was a good week, 252 00:05:35,448 --> 00:05:38,827 we had a lot of fun, 253 00:05:35,448 --> 00:05:38,827 but it's over. 254 00:05:38,827 --> 00:05:42,080 Two, you've been 255 00:05:38,827 --> 00:05:42,080 with Lily for 11 years. 256 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:45,959 Your idea of good game 257 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:45,959 is slapping on 258 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:45,959 a Dr. Seuss hat 259 00:05:45,959 --> 00:05:49,087 and flashing two tickets 260 00:05:45,959 --> 00:05:49,087 to a Spin Doctors concert. 261 00:05:49,087 --> 00:05:51,881 Yeah, I hate to say it, buddy, 262 00:05:49,087 --> 00:05:51,881 but you're kind of irrelevant. 263 00:05:51,881 --> 00:05:56,011 What? I am not irrelevant. 264 00:05:51,881 --> 00:05:56,011 I know tons of stuff. 265 00:05:51,881 --> 00:05:56,011 I could help you guys. 266 00:05:56,011 --> 00:05:58,013 I don't want to be left out. 267 00:05:58,013 --> 00:06:00,140 Ted, you do not have 268 00:05:58,013 --> 00:06:00,140 more game than me. 269 00:06:00,140 --> 00:06:02,558 By sheer numbers alone, 270 00:06:00,140 --> 00:06:02,558 I win. 271 00:06:02,558 --> 00:06:04,186 Come on, dude. 272 00:06:02,558 --> 00:06:04,186 You've seen my list. 273 00:06:04,186 --> 00:06:06,479 You guys want to hear 274 00:06:04,186 --> 00:06:06,479 one of my lines? 275 00:06:06,479 --> 00:06:09,649 First of all, I did not ask 276 00:06:06,479 --> 00:06:09,649 to see that list, 277 00:06:06,479 --> 00:06:09,649 and I am still horrified. 278 00:06:09,649 --> 00:06:12,610 And true game 279 00:06:09,649 --> 00:06:12,610 is about quality, 280 00:06:09,649 --> 00:06:12,610 not quantity, 281 00:06:12,610 --> 00:06:15,613 and a quality girl 282 00:06:12,610 --> 00:06:15,613 would pick me 283 00:06:12,610 --> 00:06:15,613 over you any day. 284 00:06:15,613 --> 00:06:18,950 "Are you a model?" 285 00:06:15,613 --> 00:06:18,950 That one's good 286 00:06:15,613 --> 00:06:18,950 because it's flattering 287 00:06:18,950 --> 00:06:21,328 to the girl. 288 00:06:21,328 --> 00:06:26,249 Ted, I challenge you 289 00:06:21,328 --> 00:06:26,249 to a picking-up-girls 290 00:06:21,328 --> 00:06:26,249 Olympiad. 291 00:06:26,249 --> 00:06:28,251 Fine. 292 00:06:26,249 --> 00:06:28,251 There will be 26 events 293 00:06:28,251 --> 00:06:30,045 spread out over 11 weeks. 294 00:06:30,045 --> 00:06:32,214 We will travel to 295 00:06:30,045 --> 00:06:32,214 a neutral city 296 00:06:32,214 --> 00:06:34,049 where a panel of 297 00:06:32,214 --> 00:06:34,049 international judges... 298 00:06:34,049 --> 00:06:35,384 Or we could 299 00:06:34,049 --> 00:06:35,384 just choose a girl 300 00:06:35,384 --> 00:06:36,509 and the first one 301 00:06:35,384 --> 00:06:36,509 to seal the deal wins. 302 00:06:36,509 --> 00:06:37,969 That's good, too. 303 00:06:36,509 --> 00:06:37,969 Mmm-hmm. 304 00:06:39,137 --> 00:06:41,056 How about her? 305 00:06:41,056 --> 00:06:43,058 You're on. 306 00:06:43,058 --> 00:06:46,436 Before we start, 307 00:06:43,058 --> 00:06:46,436 why don't we jot down 308 00:06:43,058 --> 00:06:46,436 a few basic ground rules? 309 00:06:46,436 --> 00:06:50,065 Okay, great. Rule number one, 310 00:06:46,436 --> 00:06:50,065 no eye patches 311 00:06:46,436 --> 00:06:50,065 or props of any... 312 00:06:51,983 --> 00:06:55,070 One time, I was with this girl 313 00:06:51,983 --> 00:06:55,070 and I tried that model line, 314 00:06:55,070 --> 00:06:57,572 and I totally got some 315 00:06:55,070 --> 00:06:57,572 over-the-shirt boob action 316 00:06:57,572 --> 00:06:59,741 in the "Just Say No" 317 00:06:57,572 --> 00:06:59,741 assembly. 318 00:06:59,741 --> 00:07:02,618 Man, just stop. 319 00:06:59,741 --> 00:07:02,618 You're bumming 320 00:06:59,741 --> 00:07:02,618 everybody out. 321 00:07:05,997 --> 00:07:09,542 Rule number two, 322 00:07:05,997 --> 00:07:09,542 this bet 323 00:07:05,997 --> 00:07:09,542 is for $1 million. 324 00:07:11,127 --> 00:07:12,837 I win. 325 00:07:11,127 --> 00:07:12,837 How? 326 00:07:12,837 --> 00:07:16,174 I slept with her, 327 00:07:12,837 --> 00:07:16,174 about a year ago. 328 00:07:12,837 --> 00:07:16,174 I just forgot. 329 00:07:16,174 --> 00:07:18,634 Oh, well, 330 00:07:16,174 --> 00:07:18,634 that doesn't count. 331 00:07:18,634 --> 00:07:20,929 The bet started 332 00:07:18,634 --> 00:07:20,929 the moment we shook. 333 00:07:20,929 --> 00:07:22,805 I can't sleep with her again. 334 00:07:20,929 --> 00:07:22,805 She hates me. 335 00:07:22,805 --> 00:07:26,059 Oh! Interesting. 336 00:07:22,805 --> 00:07:26,059 Look who just took 337 00:07:22,805 --> 00:07:26,059 a commanding lead. 338 00:07:26,059 --> 00:07:28,019 Now with you 339 00:07:26,059 --> 00:07:28,019 out of the picture, 340 00:07:26,059 --> 00:07:28,019 I can take my sweet time. 341 00:07:28,019 --> 00:07:29,187 Ted, she's leaving. 342 00:07:29,187 --> 00:07:30,688 Get out of my way. 343 00:07:33,066 --> 00:07:36,778 By the look of those shoes, 344 00:07:33,066 --> 00:07:36,778 here comes 345 00:07:33,066 --> 00:07:36,778 your bathroom buddy. 346 00:07:42,742 --> 00:07:44,702 Look who's got game. 347 00:07:46,871 --> 00:07:48,581 So, you're a big 348 00:07:46,871 --> 00:07:48,581 kids person, huh? 349 00:07:48,581 --> 00:07:50,625 Only the biggest ever. 350 00:07:50,625 --> 00:07:53,044 I think 351 00:07:50,625 --> 00:07:53,044 kids are so great, 352 00:07:53,044 --> 00:07:57,799 especially the little ones, 353 00:07:53,044 --> 00:07:57,799 you know, pudgy, 354 00:07:57,799 --> 00:08:00,051 can't sit up, 355 00:07:57,799 --> 00:08:00,051 don't have teeth yet. 356 00:08:00,051 --> 00:08:01,219 You mean babies? 357 00:08:01,219 --> 00:08:03,179 Yeah, I like that kind. 358 00:08:03,179 --> 00:08:04,680 Well, Doug's 359 00:08:03,179 --> 00:08:04,680 almost six, so... 360 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:06,599 Six is great. 361 00:08:06,599 --> 00:08:10,395 You are going to love six. 362 00:08:06,599 --> 00:08:10,395 Six is when 363 00:08:06,599 --> 00:08:10,395 they really start to... 364 00:08:12,688 --> 00:08:14,023 I hate kids. 365 00:08:14,023 --> 00:08:15,608 Excuse me. What? 366 00:08:15,608 --> 00:08:19,195 I mean, I don't hate kids. 367 00:08:15,608 --> 00:08:19,195 I'm just not a kid person. 368 00:08:19,195 --> 00:08:21,364 I mean, yeah, it's cute 369 00:08:19,195 --> 00:08:21,364 that their shoes 370 00:08:19,195 --> 00:08:21,364 are real little, 371 00:08:21,364 --> 00:08:23,908 but beyond that, 372 00:08:21,364 --> 00:08:23,908 what's the draw? 373 00:08:24,826 --> 00:08:26,536 You must think I'm nuts. 374 00:08:26,536 --> 00:08:29,789 What? No, no, no. I... 375 00:08:26,536 --> 00:08:29,789 So you don't like kids, 376 00:08:26,536 --> 00:08:29,789 so what? 377 00:08:29,789 --> 00:08:32,708 And I'm not looking for 378 00:08:29,789 --> 00:08:32,708 a mother for Doug. 379 00:08:32,708 --> 00:08:35,003 Why don't we just hold off 380 00:08:32,708 --> 00:08:35,003 on you meeting him? 381 00:08:35,003 --> 00:08:37,339 Yeah, let's take 382 00:08:35,003 --> 00:08:37,339 things slow. 383 00:08:37,339 --> 00:08:40,383 And, kids, 384 00:08:37,339 --> 00:08:40,383 that's exactly what she did. 385 00:08:40,383 --> 00:08:42,302 Then, on 386 00:08:40,383 --> 00:08:42,302 a totally different day 387 00:08:42,302 --> 00:08:44,346 that was definitely 388 00:08:42,302 --> 00:08:44,346 not the next morning, 389 00:08:44,346 --> 00:08:47,015 Aunt Robin had to face 390 00:08:44,346 --> 00:08:47,015 her worst fear. 391 00:08:51,353 --> 00:08:52,437 Hey, what's up? 392 00:08:52,437 --> 00:08:53,771 It's here, Lily. 393 00:08:53,771 --> 00:08:56,149 It's looking at me. 394 00:08:56,149 --> 00:08:57,650 The kid. What do I do? 395 00:08:57,650 --> 00:08:59,819 Just talk to him. 396 00:08:57,650 --> 00:08:59,819 You can do this, Robin. 397 00:08:59,819 --> 00:09:01,196 Who are you? 398 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:03,614 I'm Robin. 399 00:09:03,614 --> 00:09:05,074 That's a bird's name. 400 00:09:05,074 --> 00:09:08,161 Ah. No, it's not. 401 00:09:05,074 --> 00:09:08,161 It's actually 402 00:09:05,074 --> 00:09:08,161 a type of bird. 403 00:09:08,161 --> 00:09:11,914 My friend Patrick 404 00:09:08,161 --> 00:09:11,914 has a parakeet 405 00:09:08,161 --> 00:09:11,914 named Robin, so there. 406 00:09:11,914 --> 00:09:13,416 Do you want to 407 00:09:11,914 --> 00:09:13,416 talk in Morse code? 408 00:09:13,416 --> 00:09:15,001 Dude, I'm just 409 00:09:13,416 --> 00:09:15,001 reading my paper, so... 410 00:09:22,633 --> 00:09:25,094 I'm starving. 411 00:09:22,633 --> 00:09:25,094 Will you make me cereal? 412 00:09:26,262 --> 00:09:28,056 Sure. 413 00:09:28,056 --> 00:09:29,474 What are you doing? 414 00:09:28,056 --> 00:09:29,474 You're supposed to 415 00:09:28,056 --> 00:09:29,474 pour the milk first. 416 00:09:29,474 --> 00:09:31,434 What? 417 00:09:31,434 --> 00:09:32,768 No, you pour the cereal 418 00:09:31,434 --> 00:09:32,768 first so you know 419 00:09:31,434 --> 00:09:32,768 how much milk you need. 420 00:09:32,768 --> 00:09:34,604 It tastes better 421 00:09:32,768 --> 00:09:34,604 milk first! 422 00:09:34,604 --> 00:09:37,482 It all tastes the same 423 00:09:34,604 --> 00:09:37,482 once it's in the bowl. 424 00:09:37,482 --> 00:09:39,568 Why are you wearing 425 00:09:37,482 --> 00:09:39,568 my dad's pants? 426 00:09:39,568 --> 00:09:40,776 Milk first it is. 427 00:09:42,862 --> 00:09:44,573 What are you reading? 428 00:09:44,573 --> 00:09:46,533 The business section. 429 00:09:46,533 --> 00:09:47,992 The Fed's going to 430 00:09:46,533 --> 00:09:47,992 lower rates again 431 00:09:47,992 --> 00:09:49,869 to bail out 432 00:09:47,992 --> 00:09:49,869 these sub-prime lenders. 433 00:09:49,869 --> 00:09:51,746 Bunch of idiots. 434 00:09:51,746 --> 00:09:53,998 Ms. Aldrin says 435 00:09:51,746 --> 00:09:53,998 it's not nice 436 00:09:51,746 --> 00:09:53,998 to call people names. 437 00:09:53,998 --> 00:09:56,042 Well, maybe if they 438 00:09:53,998 --> 00:09:56,042 weren't such idiots, 439 00:09:56,042 --> 00:09:58,378 I wouldn't have to 440 00:09:56,042 --> 00:09:58,378 call them that. 441 00:09:58,378 --> 00:10:00,922 That's what I said. 442 00:09:58,378 --> 00:10:00,922 You're pretty cool. 443 00:10:01,839 --> 00:10:04,342 You too. 444 00:10:04,342 --> 00:10:07,011 Meanwhile, 445 00:10:04,342 --> 00:10:07,011 Stacey and I 446 00:10:04,342 --> 00:10:07,011 had started dating. 447 00:10:07,011 --> 00:10:09,305 Stacey was the girl 448 00:10:07,011 --> 00:10:09,305 from the bar. 449 00:10:09,305 --> 00:10:12,934 Anyway, I was close to 450 00:10:09,305 --> 00:10:12,934 winning the bet when 451 00:10:09,305 --> 00:10:12,934 something unexpected happened. 452 00:10:12,934 --> 00:10:14,894 I started to really like her. 453 00:10:14,894 --> 00:10:16,771 Well, have fun in yoga. 454 00:10:16,771 --> 00:10:19,941 She's strengthening her core. 455 00:10:16,771 --> 00:10:19,941 I think that's 456 00:10:16,771 --> 00:10:19,941 going to be good. 457 00:10:19,941 --> 00:10:21,651 Yeah? All right. 458 00:10:21,651 --> 00:10:23,570 After a while, 459 00:10:21,651 --> 00:10:23,570 crocodile. 460 00:10:25,113 --> 00:10:27,990 You see this? 461 00:10:25,113 --> 00:10:27,990 Game face! 462 00:10:27,990 --> 00:10:28,991 Whatever, Ted. 463 00:10:28,991 --> 00:10:30,577 Oh! Get this. 464 00:10:30,577 --> 00:10:33,663 She plays bass 465 00:10:30,577 --> 00:10:33,663 in a reggae band. 466 00:10:33,663 --> 00:10:36,999 They're having a show 467 00:10:33,663 --> 00:10:36,999 this Friday. 468 00:10:33,663 --> 00:10:36,999 How cool is that? 469 00:10:36,999 --> 00:10:38,751 Does she know that one song? 470 00:10:41,588 --> 00:10:42,922 What's that song called? 471 00:10:42,922 --> 00:10:45,634 Oh, right. It's called 472 00:10:42,922 --> 00:10:45,634 every reggae song. 473 00:10:45,634 --> 00:10:47,802 I am not irrelevant. 474 00:10:45,634 --> 00:10:47,802 What? 475 00:10:47,802 --> 00:10:51,847 I ran the numbers. 476 00:10:47,802 --> 00:10:51,847 If Lily and I have sex 477 00:10:47,802 --> 00:10:51,847 twice a week, 478 00:10:51,847 --> 00:10:54,267 which, let's be honest, 479 00:10:51,847 --> 00:10:54,267 we all know 480 00:10:51,847 --> 00:10:54,267 is being conservative, 481 00:10:54,267 --> 00:10:56,686 and we've been together 482 00:10:54,267 --> 00:10:56,686 for 10 years, 483 00:10:56,686 --> 00:11:00,649 plus 17 more times 484 00:10:56,686 --> 00:11:00,649 on the honeymoon, 485 00:11:00,649 --> 00:11:02,233 minus the two-week drought 486 00:11:02,233 --> 00:11:03,526 when I said the checker 487 00:11:02,233 --> 00:11:03,526 at the grocery store 488 00:11:03,526 --> 00:11:04,986 reminded me 489 00:11:03,526 --> 00:11:04,986 of a young Lily, 490 00:11:04,986 --> 00:11:09,365 then we have had sex 491 00:11:04,986 --> 00:11:09,365 a total of, wait for it... 492 00:11:09,365 --> 00:11:10,450 Nice. 493 00:11:10,450 --> 00:11:13,578 1,053 and a half times. 494 00:11:13,578 --> 00:11:15,580 My mom called once. 495 00:11:15,580 --> 00:11:17,915 But that's more times 496 00:11:15,580 --> 00:11:17,915 than Barney 497 00:11:15,580 --> 00:11:17,915 has ever had sex, 498 00:11:17,915 --> 00:11:21,586 and to your point, Ted, 499 00:11:17,915 --> 00:11:21,586 Lily is 500 00:11:17,915 --> 00:11:21,586 a quality girl. I win. 501 00:11:22,545 --> 00:11:23,713 Lawyered. 502 00:11:26,466 --> 00:11:27,800 Doesn't count. 503 00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:29,344 What? It totally counts. 504 00:11:29,344 --> 00:11:31,429 You're right. 505 00:11:29,344 --> 00:11:31,429 It does count. 506 00:11:29,344 --> 00:11:31,429 It counts as one. 507 00:11:31,429 --> 00:11:33,515 You've had sex once. 508 00:11:31,429 --> 00:11:33,515 How was it? 509 00:11:36,184 --> 00:11:37,852 I still matter. 510 00:11:40,229 --> 00:11:43,191 Okay, Ted, go win the bet. 511 00:11:43,191 --> 00:11:47,153 You have my blessing. 512 00:11:43,191 --> 00:11:47,153 She's a wonderful girl. 513 00:11:43,191 --> 00:11:47,153 I should know. 514 00:11:47,153 --> 00:11:51,032 Oh. Okay. Okay, 515 00:11:47,153 --> 00:11:51,032 I see what you're doing. 516 00:11:51,032 --> 00:11:54,160 We've never shared a woman, 517 00:11:51,032 --> 00:11:54,160 have we, Ted? 518 00:11:51,032 --> 00:11:54,160 Isn't that funny? 519 00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:56,663 You're with her now. 520 00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:56,663 I was with her a year ago. 521 00:11:56,663 --> 00:12:00,416 You figure, for her, 522 00:11:56,663 --> 00:12:00,416 that's like 200 showers ago. 523 00:12:00,416 --> 00:12:03,670 You've got to 524 00:12:00,416 --> 00:12:03,670 ask yourself, Ted, 525 00:12:00,416 --> 00:12:03,670 is 200 enough? 526 00:12:03,670 --> 00:12:06,589 You know what? 527 00:12:03,670 --> 00:12:06,589 I don't mind. 528 00:12:06,589 --> 00:12:08,466 No, of course 529 00:12:06,589 --> 00:12:08,466 you don't mind. 530 00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:11,052 Just like the second guy 531 00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:11,052 to climb Mount Everest 532 00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:11,052 didn't mind 533 00:12:11,052 --> 00:12:12,428 getting all the way 534 00:12:11,052 --> 00:12:12,428 to the top 535 00:12:12,428 --> 00:12:14,930 only to find 536 00:12:12,428 --> 00:12:14,930 Sir Edmund Hillary's 537 00:12:12,428 --> 00:12:14,930 flag pole 538 00:12:14,930 --> 00:12:17,684 thrust into its supple peak. 539 00:12:17,684 --> 00:12:19,143 No, I'm sure 540 00:12:17,684 --> 00:12:19,143 when you're with her, 541 00:12:19,143 --> 00:12:21,020 I'll be the furthest thing 542 00:12:19,143 --> 00:12:21,020 from your mind. 543 00:12:21,020 --> 00:12:23,773 Kissing what 544 00:12:21,020 --> 00:12:23,773 I've already kissed, 545 00:12:23,773 --> 00:12:26,526 nuzzling what 546 00:12:23,773 --> 00:12:26,526 I've already nuzzled, 547 00:12:26,526 --> 00:12:31,740 going... on 548 00:12:26,526 --> 00:12:31,740 what I've already gone... on. 549 00:12:31,740 --> 00:12:36,411 Barney, I'm not afraid 550 00:12:31,740 --> 00:12:36,411 of catching 551 00:12:31,740 --> 00:12:36,411 your cooties, okay? 552 00:12:36,411 --> 00:12:37,870 Really? 553 00:12:36,411 --> 00:12:37,870 Ted's not afraid 554 00:12:36,411 --> 00:12:37,870 of cooties? 555 00:12:37,870 --> 00:12:39,330 No. 556 00:12:39,330 --> 00:12:40,873 Okay, well, then, 557 00:12:39,330 --> 00:12:40,873 I guess 558 00:12:39,330 --> 00:12:40,873 you'd have no problem 559 00:12:40,873 --> 00:12:42,542 having a sip of 560 00:12:40,873 --> 00:12:42,542 my gin and tonic. 561 00:12:42,542 --> 00:12:43,793 Fine. 562 00:12:48,798 --> 00:12:51,384 And I only stirred that 563 00:12:48,798 --> 00:12:51,384 with my pinky. 564 00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:57,056 Guess who loves Robin? 565 00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:57,056 Kids. 566 00:12:57,056 --> 00:13:01,269 Kids love Robin. 567 00:12:57,056 --> 00:13:01,269 Doug thinks 568 00:12:57,056 --> 00:13:01,269 I'm pretty cool. 569 00:13:01,269 --> 00:13:03,479 Really? That's great! 570 00:13:03,479 --> 00:13:05,732 You and George, 571 00:13:03,479 --> 00:13:05,732 all thanks to me. 572 00:13:05,732 --> 00:13:08,150 Yeah, I'm gonna have to 573 00:13:05,732 --> 00:13:08,150 break up with him. 574 00:13:08,150 --> 00:13:09,277 What? 575 00:13:09,277 --> 00:13:11,028 Well, it's just... 576 00:13:11,028 --> 00:13:13,406 It's getting a little bit 577 00:13:11,028 --> 00:13:13,406 too serious with the kid. 578 00:13:13,406 --> 00:13:15,950 You know, it's just not 579 00:13:13,406 --> 00:13:15,950 what I'm looking for. 580 00:13:15,950 --> 00:13:19,788 So, better I break it off now 581 00:13:15,950 --> 00:13:19,788 before he gets too attached. 582 00:13:19,788 --> 00:13:21,247 What? 583 00:13:21,247 --> 00:13:23,833 I hate to tell you this, 584 00:13:21,247 --> 00:13:23,833 but... 585 00:13:23,833 --> 00:13:25,042 Too late. 586 00:13:28,212 --> 00:13:30,047 He drew it 587 00:13:28,212 --> 00:13:30,047 in class today. 588 00:13:30,047 --> 00:13:31,716 Oh. Crap. 589 00:13:37,639 --> 00:13:39,181 There is no way 590 00:13:37,639 --> 00:13:39,181 that's a picture of me. 591 00:13:39,181 --> 00:13:40,725 That woman 592 00:13:39,181 --> 00:13:40,725 has on hoop earrings. 593 00:13:40,725 --> 00:13:43,352 I don't even 594 00:13:40,725 --> 00:13:43,352 own hoop earrings. 595 00:13:43,352 --> 00:13:45,730 I have one pair 596 00:13:43,352 --> 00:13:45,730 and they're gold. 597 00:13:43,352 --> 00:13:45,730 Those are Froot Loops. 598 00:13:45,730 --> 00:13:47,982 You are so in denial 599 00:13:45,730 --> 00:13:47,982 right now, 600 00:13:47,982 --> 00:13:50,860 and you're doing 601 00:13:47,982 --> 00:13:50,860 what you always do 602 00:13:47,982 --> 00:13:50,860 in relationships. 603 00:13:50,860 --> 00:13:54,196 The second 604 00:13:50,860 --> 00:13:54,196 you get close to a guy, 605 00:13:50,860 --> 00:13:54,196 you want to bail. 606 00:13:54,196 --> 00:13:58,033 Okay, granted, he's six, 607 00:13:54,196 --> 00:13:58,033 but the point stands. 608 00:13:58,033 --> 00:14:01,496 Well, we'll ask the guys. 609 00:13:58,033 --> 00:14:01,496 They'll tell you 610 00:13:58,033 --> 00:14:01,496 that's not me. 611 00:14:01,496 --> 00:14:02,997 That's totally you. 612 00:14:02,997 --> 00:14:04,749 What? 613 00:14:02,997 --> 00:14:04,749 You guys are crazy. 614 00:14:04,749 --> 00:14:06,208 Hey, who drew 615 00:14:04,749 --> 00:14:06,208 the picture of Robin? 616 00:14:06,208 --> 00:14:07,627 It's not me. 617 00:14:07,627 --> 00:14:09,044 You're joking, right? 618 00:14:07,627 --> 00:14:09,044 It's not me! 619 00:14:09,044 --> 00:14:10,672 "My new mommy." 620 00:14:10,672 --> 00:14:12,548 Kind of has 621 00:14:10,672 --> 00:14:12,548 a nice ring to it. 622 00:14:12,548 --> 00:14:14,550 Hey, now that you're a mom, 623 00:14:12,548 --> 00:14:14,550 are you going to 624 00:14:12,548 --> 00:14:14,550 start wearing 625 00:14:14,550 --> 00:14:17,762 those totally awesome jeans 626 00:14:14,550 --> 00:14:17,762 that go right up 627 00:14:14,550 --> 00:14:17,762 to your boobs? 628 00:14:17,762 --> 00:14:19,597 Do you guys really 629 00:14:17,762 --> 00:14:19,597 think this is me? 630 00:14:19,597 --> 00:14:21,015 Honey, it's you. 631 00:14:21,015 --> 00:14:23,017 And if you're going to 632 00:14:21,015 --> 00:14:23,017 break up with George, 633 00:14:23,017 --> 00:14:24,935 you have to break up 634 00:14:23,017 --> 00:14:24,935 with his kid, too. 635 00:14:24,935 --> 00:14:26,145 Really? 636 00:14:26,145 --> 00:14:27,689 Yeah, you can't 637 00:14:26,145 --> 00:14:27,689 just abandon him. 638 00:14:27,689 --> 00:14:29,607 You have to 639 00:14:27,689 --> 00:14:29,607 talk to him. 640 00:14:29,607 --> 00:14:32,943 Come on, Robin. 641 00:14:29,607 --> 00:14:32,943 You know 642 00:14:29,607 --> 00:14:32,943 it's the right thing to do. 643 00:14:32,943 --> 00:14:34,654 Oh, man. 644 00:14:34,654 --> 00:14:38,407 Doug was right, 645 00:14:34,654 --> 00:14:38,407 you are a pain in the ass. 646 00:14:38,407 --> 00:14:40,993 So, I had 647 00:14:38,407 --> 00:14:40,993 a really nice time 648 00:14:38,407 --> 00:14:40,993 tonight. 649 00:14:40,993 --> 00:14:42,829 Me, too. 650 00:14:40,993 --> 00:14:42,829 Yeah? 651 00:14:45,456 --> 00:14:50,044 Hey, Ted, pucker up 652 00:14:45,456 --> 00:14:50,044 all you want, 653 00:14:45,456 --> 00:14:50,044 but I was here first. 654 00:14:59,721 --> 00:15:02,849 From this spot, 655 00:14:59,721 --> 00:15:02,849 I also launched 656 00:14:59,721 --> 00:15:02,849 an expedition 657 00:15:02,849 --> 00:15:05,768 to those two large ridges 658 00:15:02,849 --> 00:15:05,768 down there. 659 00:15:18,113 --> 00:15:19,990 Ted? 660 00:15:19,990 --> 00:15:21,743 Something wrong? 661 00:15:25,788 --> 00:15:26,789 Hey, Doug. 662 00:15:26,789 --> 00:15:28,123 Are you here 663 00:15:26,789 --> 00:15:28,123 to see my dad? 664 00:15:28,123 --> 00:15:29,542 He's taking a shower. 665 00:15:29,542 --> 00:15:31,920 Actually, 666 00:15:29,542 --> 00:15:31,920 I came to see you. 667 00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:34,088 I wrote a poem. 668 00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:34,088 Do you want to hear it? 669 00:15:34,088 --> 00:15:36,173 Sure. Why not? 670 00:15:36,173 --> 00:15:37,759 "To my new mommy. 671 00:15:39,594 --> 00:15:41,136 "You are pretty 672 00:15:41,136 --> 00:15:42,471 "You are nice 673 00:15:42,471 --> 00:15:44,306 "And you smell 674 00:15:42,471 --> 00:15:44,306 like daisies" 675 00:15:44,306 --> 00:15:46,267 Oh! That is so sweet, 676 00:15:46,267 --> 00:15:48,060 even though 677 00:15:46,267 --> 00:15:48,060 it doesn't rhyme. 678 00:15:48,060 --> 00:15:51,021 Look, Doug. 679 00:15:51,021 --> 00:15:53,608 There's no good way 680 00:15:51,021 --> 00:15:53,608 to say this... 681 00:15:53,608 --> 00:15:55,985 Aunt Robin didn't know 682 00:15:53,608 --> 00:15:55,985 what to say. 683 00:15:55,985 --> 00:15:58,613 This kid had never 684 00:15:55,985 --> 00:15:58,613 been dumped before. 685 00:15:58,613 --> 00:16:02,784 But then she realized, 686 00:15:58,613 --> 00:16:02,784 this kid had never 687 00:15:58,613 --> 00:16:02,784 been dumped before. 688 00:16:02,784 --> 00:16:04,911 She could use 689 00:16:02,784 --> 00:16:04,911 every cliche 690 00:16:02,784 --> 00:16:04,911 in the book. 691 00:16:04,911 --> 00:16:06,871 We need to talk. 692 00:16:06,871 --> 00:16:10,165 I just think 693 00:16:06,871 --> 00:16:10,165 we both could use 694 00:16:06,871 --> 00:16:10,165 some space right now. 695 00:16:10,165 --> 00:16:12,334 It's not you. It's me. 696 00:16:12,334 --> 00:16:15,755 But I know this hurts, 697 00:16:12,334 --> 00:16:15,755 but you deserve 698 00:16:12,334 --> 00:16:15,755 someone better. 699 00:16:15,755 --> 00:16:20,802 I'm just really trying to 700 00:16:15,755 --> 00:16:20,802 focus on my career 701 00:16:15,755 --> 00:16:20,802 right now, you know? 702 00:16:20,802 --> 00:16:22,971 I just hope 703 00:16:20,802 --> 00:16:22,971 we can still be friends. 704 00:16:29,018 --> 00:16:32,855 Hi, I'm Brooke. 705 00:16:29,018 --> 00:16:32,855 I'm here for my date 706 00:16:29,018 --> 00:16:32,855 with George. 707 00:16:32,855 --> 00:16:34,941 You must be 708 00:16:32,855 --> 00:16:34,941 the babysitter. 709 00:16:40,362 --> 00:16:44,659 I had so much coffee earlier. 710 00:16:40,362 --> 00:16:44,659 I need to run to the loo, 711 00:16:40,362 --> 00:16:44,659 but... Hey, Dougie. 712 00:16:48,203 --> 00:16:50,039 What the hell was that? 713 00:16:50,039 --> 00:16:51,874 That was my new mommy. 714 00:16:51,874 --> 00:16:55,711 So, this picture 715 00:16:51,874 --> 00:16:55,711 is not of me? 716 00:16:55,711 --> 00:16:59,381 Why would I draw 717 00:16:55,711 --> 00:16:59,381 a picture of you? 718 00:16:59,381 --> 00:17:01,592 How many dates 719 00:16:59,381 --> 00:17:01,592 has she been on 720 00:16:59,381 --> 00:17:01,592 with your dad? 721 00:17:01,592 --> 00:17:03,552 Two. 722 00:17:01,592 --> 00:17:03,552 Well, I've been on like five 723 00:17:03,552 --> 00:17:04,846 and you like her better? 724 00:17:04,846 --> 00:17:06,889 We just really connected. 725 00:17:06,889 --> 00:17:08,975 And what about me? 726 00:17:08,975 --> 00:17:12,603 You think I just 727 00:17:08,975 --> 00:17:12,603 go around pouring cereal 728 00:17:08,975 --> 00:17:12,603 for every boy in town? 729 00:17:12,603 --> 00:17:14,563 Why are you getting 730 00:17:12,603 --> 00:17:14,563 so upset, Roberta? 731 00:17:14,563 --> 00:17:17,566 Robin. My name is Robin. 732 00:17:17,566 --> 00:17:19,151 Like the bird, remember? 733 00:17:19,151 --> 00:17:20,778 Whatever. 734 00:17:22,030 --> 00:17:24,532 So that's it, huh? 735 00:17:24,532 --> 00:17:26,826 Look, you're great, but... 736 00:17:26,826 --> 00:17:29,078 Yeah, there's always 737 00:17:26,826 --> 00:17:29,078 a "but." 738 00:17:30,496 --> 00:17:33,415 Well, I couldn't do it. 739 00:17:30,496 --> 00:17:33,415 I broke up with her. 740 00:17:33,415 --> 00:17:34,375 Thanks a lot, 741 00:17:33,415 --> 00:17:34,375 by the way. 742 00:17:34,375 --> 00:17:36,085 A beautiful, 743 00:17:34,375 --> 00:17:36,085 sexy girl, 744 00:17:36,085 --> 00:17:38,921 and all I could think about 745 00:17:36,085 --> 00:17:38,921 was you being there first. 746 00:17:38,921 --> 00:17:41,674 You were stuck in my head 747 00:17:38,921 --> 00:17:41,674 like a Chumbawamba song. 748 00:17:41,674 --> 00:17:43,676 Which Chumbawamba song? 749 00:17:46,178 --> 00:17:49,057 Well, what an interesting 750 00:17:46,178 --> 00:17:49,057 turn of events. 751 00:17:49,057 --> 00:17:51,433 It looks like 752 00:17:49,057 --> 00:17:51,433 I'm going to win. 753 00:17:51,433 --> 00:17:53,019 What do you mean win? 754 00:17:51,433 --> 00:17:53,019 You couldn't 755 00:17:51,433 --> 00:17:53,019 even talk to her. 756 00:17:53,019 --> 00:17:54,687 You tried 757 00:17:53,019 --> 00:17:54,687 and you got slapped. 758 00:17:54,687 --> 00:17:56,064 That's what 759 00:17:54,687 --> 00:17:56,064 you think happened. 760 00:17:56,064 --> 00:17:57,481 Rules. 761 00:17:56,064 --> 00:17:57,481 Okay, great. 762 00:17:56,064 --> 00:17:57,481 Rule number one, 763 00:17:57,481 --> 00:17:59,483 no eye patches 764 00:17:57,481 --> 00:17:59,483 or props of any... 765 00:17:59,483 --> 00:18:01,569 Here's the deal. 766 00:17:59,483 --> 00:18:01,569 My friend just got dumped 767 00:17:59,483 --> 00:18:01,569 so he's a little shy, 768 00:18:01,569 --> 00:18:03,320 but he'd love to 769 00:18:01,569 --> 00:18:03,320 buy you a drink 770 00:18:01,569 --> 00:18:03,320 and get to know you. 771 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:05,447 The problem is, 772 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:05,447 he thinks 773 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:05,447 a pretty girl like you 774 00:18:05,447 --> 00:18:07,366 won't go for a guy like him. 775 00:18:05,447 --> 00:18:07,366 So, would you slap me 776 00:18:05,447 --> 00:18:07,366 across the face, 777 00:18:07,366 --> 00:18:08,659 so he can see 778 00:18:07,366 --> 00:18:08,659 you're not into guys 779 00:18:07,366 --> 00:18:08,659 who'd feed you lines? 780 00:18:08,659 --> 00:18:09,827 What do you say? 781 00:18:08,659 --> 00:18:09,827 For my friend? 782 00:18:09,827 --> 00:18:11,537 You are so sweet. 783 00:18:13,497 --> 00:18:15,290 So now, 784 00:18:13,497 --> 00:18:15,290 whatever nice things 785 00:18:13,497 --> 00:18:15,290 Ted does for her, 786 00:18:15,290 --> 00:18:17,877 in her mind, 787 00:18:15,290 --> 00:18:17,877 I'm the guy who's even 788 00:18:15,290 --> 00:18:17,877 nicer than him. 789 00:18:17,877 --> 00:18:19,461 So you never 790 00:18:17,877 --> 00:18:19,461 slept with her? 791 00:18:19,461 --> 00:18:21,089 Not even at all. 792 00:18:21,089 --> 00:18:23,382 Wow, that's good. 793 00:18:23,382 --> 00:18:25,801 It gets better. 794 00:18:23,382 --> 00:18:25,801 Remember Ted's 795 00:18:23,382 --> 00:18:25,801 phone conversation? 796 00:18:25,801 --> 00:18:26,969 Well, have fun in yoga. 797 00:18:26,969 --> 00:18:28,178 Well... 798 00:18:29,138 --> 00:18:30,932 Oh, I am... 799 00:18:29,138 --> 00:18:30,932 Sorry. 800 00:18:31,849 --> 00:18:33,434 Stacey, right? 801 00:18:33,434 --> 00:18:35,728 Yeah... 802 00:18:33,434 --> 00:18:35,728 You're Ted's friend 803 00:18:33,434 --> 00:18:35,728 from the bar, right? 804 00:18:35,728 --> 00:18:37,939 Yeah. Wait, don't tell me 805 00:18:35,728 --> 00:18:37,939 you go to yoga here, too. 806 00:18:37,939 --> 00:18:39,065 I do. 807 00:18:39,065 --> 00:18:42,443 She plays bass 808 00:18:39,065 --> 00:18:42,443 in a reggae band. 809 00:18:42,443 --> 00:18:44,486 And then I'm going to 810 00:18:42,443 --> 00:18:44,486 head out 811 00:18:42,443 --> 00:18:44,486 to a reggae concert. 812 00:18:44,486 --> 00:18:45,905 I'm a huge fan of reggae. 813 00:18:45,905 --> 00:18:48,323 Oh, my gosh! 814 00:18:45,905 --> 00:18:48,323 I play in a reggae band. 815 00:18:48,323 --> 00:18:50,910 No way. I wonder 816 00:18:48,323 --> 00:18:50,910 why Ted didn't tell me 817 00:18:48,323 --> 00:18:50,910 about that. 818 00:18:50,910 --> 00:18:53,829 Like I said, 819 00:18:50,910 --> 00:18:53,829 I'm a huge reggae fan. 820 00:18:54,914 --> 00:18:56,415 I should go inside. 821 00:18:56,415 --> 00:18:57,666 After a while, 822 00:18:56,415 --> 00:18:57,666 crocodile. 823 00:18:57,666 --> 00:18:59,710 See you later... 824 00:18:57,666 --> 00:18:59,710 See you later... 825 00:18:59,710 --> 00:19:02,088 We are two peas. 826 00:19:02,088 --> 00:19:04,090 Wow! Well, take care. 827 00:19:05,007 --> 00:19:06,175 Namaste. 828 00:19:12,598 --> 00:19:15,810 You are a sociopath. 829 00:19:12,598 --> 00:19:15,810 That was my yoga mat. 830 00:19:17,603 --> 00:19:19,521 So, now with Ted 831 00:19:17,603 --> 00:19:19,521 out of the picture, 832 00:19:17,603 --> 00:19:19,521 I'm going to swoop in 833 00:19:19,521 --> 00:19:21,149 and win the whole thing. 834 00:19:19,521 --> 00:19:21,149 Why? 835 00:19:24,568 --> 00:19:28,864 Translation, 836 00:19:24,568 --> 00:19:28,864 "'Cause I got game, 837 00:19:24,568 --> 00:19:28,864 bitches." 838 00:19:28,864 --> 00:19:30,032 No. No, this doesn't 839 00:19:28,864 --> 00:19:30,032 prove anything because... 840 00:19:31,075 --> 00:19:32,660 Hold on a second. 841 00:19:32,660 --> 00:19:34,120 It's Stacey. 842 00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:35,913 Hey, Stace? 843 00:19:35,913 --> 00:19:38,082 What happened? 844 00:19:38,082 --> 00:19:40,584 He did not! 845 00:19:40,584 --> 00:19:42,711 Stay there. 846 00:19:40,584 --> 00:19:42,711 I'll be right over. 847 00:19:46,007 --> 00:19:48,968 I should've just worn 848 00:19:46,007 --> 00:19:48,968 that stupid eye patch. 849 00:19:50,636 --> 00:19:53,597 Oh, I can't believe 850 00:19:50,636 --> 00:19:53,597 you got dumped 851 00:19:50,636 --> 00:19:53,597 by a 6-year-old. 852 00:19:53,597 --> 00:19:55,516 Whatever, 853 00:19:53,597 --> 00:19:55,516 he's a stupid head. 854 00:19:56,517 --> 00:19:58,894 I'm just... 855 00:19:56,517 --> 00:19:58,894 I'm done with kids. 856 00:19:58,894 --> 00:20:01,563 Of course, 857 00:19:58,894 --> 00:20:01,563 Robin eventually 858 00:19:58,894 --> 00:20:01,563 made her peace with kids. 859 00:20:01,563 --> 00:20:03,649 And as you guys know, 860 00:20:01,563 --> 00:20:03,649 she went on to appear 861 00:20:03,649 --> 00:20:06,194 in some very important works 862 00:20:03,649 --> 00:20:06,194 of art, yours. 863 00:20:24,628 --> 00:20:26,505 Hey. 864 00:20:26,505 --> 00:20:28,757 You know, 865 00:20:26,505 --> 00:20:28,757 I really appreciate 866 00:20:26,505 --> 00:20:28,757 how cool you've been 867 00:20:28,757 --> 00:20:30,051 about us 868 00:20:28,757 --> 00:20:30,051 taking things slow. 869 00:20:30,051 --> 00:20:31,093 Hmm. 870 00:20:31,093 --> 00:20:32,761 Since Ted, 871 00:20:31,093 --> 00:20:32,761 you know, I... 872 00:20:32,761 --> 00:20:35,056 I don't really want to 873 00:20:32,761 --> 00:20:35,056 get physical too fast. 874 00:20:35,056 --> 00:20:37,892 That's what makes you 875 00:20:35,056 --> 00:20:37,892 so special, baby. 876 00:20:37,892 --> 00:20:41,645 Anyway, I am so psyched 877 00:20:37,892 --> 00:20:41,645 to be playing 878 00:20:37,892 --> 00:20:41,645 Sunsplash tomorrow. 879 00:20:41,645 --> 00:20:43,480 We go on sometime 880 00:20:41,645 --> 00:20:43,480 between 11:00 and 6:00, 881 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:47,193 so you probably want to 882 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:47,193 get there before 883 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:47,193 9:00, just to be safe. 884 00:20:47,193 --> 00:20:48,986 Oh, and it's 885 00:20:47,193 --> 00:20:48,986 gonna be muddy.