1 00:00:01,749 --> 00:00:03,542 Kids, 2 00:00:01,749 --> 00:00:03,542 everybody makes mistakes. 3 00:00:03,542 --> 00:00:05,335 Take this girl, Meg, 4 00:00:03,542 --> 00:00:05,335 for instance. 5 00:00:05,335 --> 00:00:08,213 She made a mistake. 6 00:00:05,335 --> 00:00:08,213 A mistake named Barney. 7 00:00:08,213 --> 00:00:11,467 Yeah, I thought 8 00:00:08,213 --> 00:00:11,467 I was gonna get married 9 00:00:08,213 --> 00:00:11,467 to my last boyfriend, 10 00:00:11,467 --> 00:00:15,137 but, boy, did that guy 11 00:00:11,467 --> 00:00:15,137 have commitment issues! 12 00:00:15,137 --> 00:00:16,806 That whole relationship, 13 00:00:16,806 --> 00:00:19,850 that's three weeks of my life 14 00:00:16,806 --> 00:00:19,850 I'll never get back. 15 00:00:19,850 --> 00:00:24,563 Well, I love commitment. 16 00:00:19,850 --> 00:00:24,563 I wish I could 17 00:00:19,850 --> 00:00:24,563 marry commitment. 18 00:00:25,897 --> 00:00:27,524 I met a girl last night. 19 00:00:25,897 --> 00:00:27,524 Really? 20 00:00:27,524 --> 00:00:30,986 So perky and full of life 21 00:00:27,524 --> 00:00:30,986 and not at all fake. 22 00:00:30,986 --> 00:00:32,070 You're talking about 23 00:00:30,986 --> 00:00:32,070 her boobs, right? 24 00:00:32,070 --> 00:00:33,697 "C." 25 00:00:33,697 --> 00:00:36,867 And that wasn't Spanish, 26 00:00:33,697 --> 00:00:36,867 that was cup size. 27 00:00:33,697 --> 00:00:36,867 What up? 28 00:00:38,327 --> 00:00:39,870 So, these boobs... 29 00:00:38,327 --> 00:00:39,870 Hmm. 30 00:00:39,870 --> 00:00:40,871 Paint me a word picture. 31 00:00:40,871 --> 00:00:42,790 All right, Ted. 32 00:00:42,790 --> 00:00:48,920 Imagine the heads 33 00:00:42,790 --> 00:00:48,920 of two Irish babies. 34 00:00:42,790 --> 00:00:48,920 Let's call them... and... 35 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:51,131 Please stop! 36 00:00:51,131 --> 00:00:52,924 When you get married, 37 00:00:52,924 --> 00:00:54,885 you start outgrowing 38 00:00:52,924 --> 00:00:54,885 certain parts of your life. 39 00:00:54,885 --> 00:00:56,887 And for Lily and Marshall, 40 00:00:54,885 --> 00:00:56,887 those certain parts were, 41 00:00:56,887 --> 00:00:58,722 for the most part, me. 42 00:01:02,058 --> 00:01:04,102 Why would you come in? 43 00:01:02,058 --> 00:01:04,102 You heard me shaving! 44 00:01:04,102 --> 00:01:06,062 I thought you were 45 00:01:04,102 --> 00:01:06,062 shaving your face! 46 00:01:06,062 --> 00:01:08,273 Well, clearly I wasn't! 47 00:01:08,273 --> 00:01:10,484 Oh! No, no, no! 48 00:01:10,484 --> 00:01:13,111 Pay up, hussy! 49 00:01:13,111 --> 00:01:17,115 Guys? Guys, it's 3:00 50 00:01:13,111 --> 00:01:17,115 in the morning, 51 00:01:13,111 --> 00:01:17,115 and it reeks in here. 52 00:01:17,115 --> 00:01:18,450 Ted said it was okay. 53 00:01:18,450 --> 00:01:20,118 Hey, Marshall. 54 00:01:20,118 --> 00:01:24,122 You're still up? 55 00:01:20,118 --> 00:01:24,122 Aren't you taking 56 00:01:20,118 --> 00:01:24,122 the bar tomorrow? 57 00:01:24,122 --> 00:01:27,543 Discontent 58 00:01:24,122 --> 00:01:27,543 was bubbling under 59 00:01:24,122 --> 00:01:27,543 the surface, until one day... 60 00:01:27,543 --> 00:01:28,878 Ted! 61 00:01:28,878 --> 00:01:30,420 How many times 62 00:01:28,878 --> 00:01:30,420 have I asked you 63 00:01:30,420 --> 00:01:33,298 to put the lid back 64 00:01:30,420 --> 00:01:33,298 on the peanut butter jar? 65 00:01:33,298 --> 00:01:37,386 It's this sort of 66 00:01:33,298 --> 00:01:37,386 inconsiderate, 67 00:01:33,298 --> 00:01:37,386 immature jackassery 68 00:01:37,386 --> 00:01:40,096 that makes me feel like 69 00:01:37,386 --> 00:01:40,096 I'm living in 70 00:01:37,386 --> 00:01:40,096 the Real World house, 71 00:01:40,096 --> 00:01:42,307 and not the early years 72 00:01:40,096 --> 00:01:42,307 when they all had jobs 73 00:01:42,307 --> 00:01:46,311 and social consciences, 74 00:01:42,307 --> 00:01:46,311 I am talking about 75 00:01:42,307 --> 00:01:46,311 Hawaii and after! 76 00:01:46,311 --> 00:01:50,774 I can't take this anymore! 77 00:01:46,311 --> 00:01:50,774 Ted, Lily and I 78 00:01:46,311 --> 00:01:50,774 are married now! 79 00:01:50,774 --> 00:01:54,862 It's time! 80 00:01:50,774 --> 00:01:54,862 We're getting 81 00:01:50,774 --> 00:01:54,862 our own place! 82 00:01:54,862 --> 00:01:58,365 Actually, I left the lid off. 83 00:01:54,862 --> 00:01:58,365 Sorry, baby. 84 00:01:58,365 --> 00:02:00,367 But still, 85 00:01:58,365 --> 00:02:00,367 it was time 86 00:01:58,365 --> 00:02:00,367 to move forward. 87 00:02:00,367 --> 00:02:02,786 So, they set out 88 00:02:00,367 --> 00:02:02,786 to find a new apartment 89 00:02:00,367 --> 00:02:02,786 to rent. 90 00:02:02,786 --> 00:02:04,329 Hey, here's one. 91 00:02:04,329 --> 00:02:06,707 "Pre-war building, 92 00:02:04,329 --> 00:02:06,707 recently renovated, 93 00:02:06,707 --> 00:02:10,293 "hardwood floors, 94 00:02:06,707 --> 00:02:10,293 tons of light, 95 00:02:06,707 --> 00:02:10,293 two bedroom, two bath." 96 00:02:10,293 --> 00:02:13,380 Oh, yeah, but that one's 97 00:02:10,293 --> 00:02:13,380 not for rent. 98 00:02:10,293 --> 00:02:13,380 It's for sale. 99 00:02:13,380 --> 00:02:16,007 Oh, right. 100 00:02:16,007 --> 00:02:17,927 Kids, 101 00:02:16,007 --> 00:02:17,927 your Uncle Marshall 102 00:02:16,007 --> 00:02:17,927 likes to say 103 00:02:17,927 --> 00:02:20,679 that he made 104 00:02:17,927 --> 00:02:20,679 three big mistakes 105 00:02:17,927 --> 00:02:20,679 in his life. 106 00:02:20,679 --> 00:02:21,764 This was the first. 107 00:02:21,764 --> 00:02:23,098 Jump, 108 00:02:21,764 --> 00:02:23,098 you big chicken! 109 00:02:23,098 --> 00:02:24,683 Jump, 110 00:02:23,098 --> 00:02:24,683 you fraidy cat! 111 00:02:24,683 --> 00:02:26,226 Jump! 112 00:02:24,683 --> 00:02:26,226 Jump! 113 00:02:26,226 --> 00:02:27,853 This was the second. 114 00:02:27,853 --> 00:02:30,439 No! 115 00:02:30,439 --> 00:02:32,441 And this was 116 00:02:30,439 --> 00:02:32,441 the third and biggest. 117 00:02:32,441 --> 00:02:34,443 We should buy a place! 118 00:02:32,441 --> 00:02:34,443 What? 119 00:02:34,443 --> 00:02:37,112 Baby, real estate 120 00:02:34,443 --> 00:02:37,112 is always 121 00:02:34,443 --> 00:02:37,112 a good investment. 122 00:02:37,112 --> 00:02:38,572 It's not. 123 00:02:38,572 --> 00:02:40,073 And the market 124 00:02:38,572 --> 00:02:40,073 is really hot right now. 125 00:02:40,073 --> 00:02:41,951 It wasn't. 126 00:02:41,951 --> 00:02:45,203 And because of my new job, 127 00:02:41,951 --> 00:02:45,203 we are in such 128 00:02:41,951 --> 00:02:45,203 a strong place financially. 129 00:02:45,203 --> 00:02:47,205 They weren't. 130 00:02:45,203 --> 00:02:47,205 Because Lily had a secret. 131 00:02:48,206 --> 00:02:49,708 Hi. 132 00:02:49,708 --> 00:02:51,919 My name is Lily, 133 00:02:49,708 --> 00:02:51,919 and I'm a shopaholic. 134 00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:53,921 Hi, Lily. 135 00:02:53,921 --> 00:02:58,634 Oh, you guys 136 00:02:53,921 --> 00:02:58,634 don't do that here? 137 00:02:53,921 --> 00:02:58,634 Sorry. Proceed. 138 00:02:58,634 --> 00:03:03,806 I buy designer clothes 139 00:02:58,634 --> 00:03:03,806 and accessories 140 00:02:58,634 --> 00:03:03,806 that I can't afford. 141 00:03:03,806 --> 00:03:07,017 I have 15 credit cards 142 00:03:03,806 --> 00:03:07,017 and they're all maxed out, 143 00:03:07,017 --> 00:03:11,104 and no one outside 144 00:03:07,017 --> 00:03:11,104 of this room, 145 00:03:07,017 --> 00:03:11,104 not even my husband, knows. 146 00:03:11,104 --> 00:03:13,106 And I feel terrible, 147 00:03:13,106 --> 00:03:16,735 because all I want to do 148 00:03:13,106 --> 00:03:16,735 right now is ask you 149 00:03:13,106 --> 00:03:16,735 where you got those shoes. 150 00:03:16,735 --> 00:03:18,988 They're adorable. 151 00:03:18,988 --> 00:03:21,448 We can't buy. 152 00:03:18,988 --> 00:03:21,448 We have debt. 153 00:03:21,448 --> 00:03:23,742 Yeah, I know. 154 00:03:21,448 --> 00:03:23,742 My student loans 155 00:03:21,448 --> 00:03:23,742 are pretty big. 156 00:03:23,742 --> 00:03:24,952 I forgive you. 157 00:03:24,952 --> 00:03:26,286 What? 158 00:03:26,286 --> 00:03:28,831 Well, I'm just saying, 159 00:03:26,286 --> 00:03:28,831 as your wife, 160 00:03:28,831 --> 00:03:32,208 you know, I'm cool 161 00:03:28,831 --> 00:03:32,208 that you spent tens of 162 00:03:28,831 --> 00:03:32,208 thousands of dollars 163 00:03:32,208 --> 00:03:34,044 on a brand-name law school, 164 00:03:34,044 --> 00:03:37,506 because I know it makes you 165 00:03:34,044 --> 00:03:37,506 feel good and pretty. 166 00:03:38,757 --> 00:03:41,259 Let's just go take 167 00:03:38,757 --> 00:03:41,259 a look at this place. 168 00:03:41,259 --> 00:03:42,636 Where is it? 169 00:03:42,636 --> 00:03:45,221 It's in a neighborhood 170 00:03:42,636 --> 00:03:45,221 called... 171 00:03:46,306 --> 00:03:48,725 Dowisetrepla? 172 00:03:49,726 --> 00:03:51,561 Dowisetrepla... 173 00:03:51,561 --> 00:03:54,815 Oh, I see, 174 00:03:51,561 --> 00:03:54,815 you're not New Yorkers. 175 00:03:54,815 --> 00:03:56,566 Oh, actually we live 176 00:03:54,815 --> 00:03:56,566 on the Upper West Side, 177 00:03:54,815 --> 00:03:56,566 so... 178 00:03:56,566 --> 00:03:58,568 No need to be embarrassed. 179 00:03:56,566 --> 00:03:58,568 Listen, here in New York, 180 00:03:58,568 --> 00:04:00,529 we just shorten the names 181 00:03:58,568 --> 00:04:00,529 of all the neighborhoods. 182 00:04:00,529 --> 00:04:02,990 Soho, Tribeca. 183 00:04:00,529 --> 00:04:02,990 Nolita... 184 00:04:02,990 --> 00:04:04,700 Oh, right. 185 00:04:04,700 --> 00:04:07,619 Dowisetrepla. 186 00:04:04,700 --> 00:04:07,619 No, I'm from New York. 187 00:04:07,619 --> 00:04:10,956 I know this neighborhood. 188 00:04:07,619 --> 00:04:10,956 I'm down with the D-town. 189 00:04:10,956 --> 00:04:13,042 Oh, well, nobody 190 00:04:10,956 --> 00:04:13,042 calls it D-town. 191 00:04:13,042 --> 00:04:15,878 Dowisetrepla is 192 00:04:13,042 --> 00:04:15,878 the up-and-coming 193 00:04:13,042 --> 00:04:15,878 neighborhood. 194 00:04:15,878 --> 00:04:17,754 And I have to tell you, 195 00:04:15,878 --> 00:04:17,754 for these prices, 196 00:04:17,754 --> 00:04:19,048 you're not going to be able 197 00:04:17,754 --> 00:04:19,048 to find another... 198 00:04:19,048 --> 00:04:21,925 I'm gonna stop you 199 00:04:19,048 --> 00:04:21,925 right there. 200 00:04:21,925 --> 00:04:23,552 Don't bother 201 00:04:21,925 --> 00:04:23,552 with the hard sell. 202 00:04:23,552 --> 00:04:25,178 This place is way out 203 00:04:23,552 --> 00:04:25,178 of our price range, 204 00:04:25,178 --> 00:04:27,764 and, besides, 205 00:04:25,178 --> 00:04:27,764 we've only just 206 00:04:25,178 --> 00:04:27,764 started looking. 207 00:04:27,764 --> 00:04:29,641 Is what Marshall 208 00:04:27,764 --> 00:04:29,641 should've said. 209 00:04:29,641 --> 00:04:32,019 I'm gonna stop you 210 00:04:29,641 --> 00:04:32,019 right there. 211 00:04:32,019 --> 00:04:33,979 I love it! Let's get it! 212 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:51,830 Thank you guys 213 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:51,830 for coming down here 214 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:51,830 so quickly. 215 00:04:51,830 --> 00:04:53,582 I've never been to 216 00:04:51,830 --> 00:04:53,582 this neighborhood. 217 00:04:53,582 --> 00:04:56,209 Kind of thought 218 00:04:53,582 --> 00:04:56,209 this part of town was water. 219 00:04:56,209 --> 00:04:59,546 No. Dude, 220 00:04:56,209 --> 00:04:59,546 this is Dowisetrepla. 221 00:04:59,546 --> 00:05:01,715 Dowisetrepla? 222 00:04:59,546 --> 00:05:01,715 Yeah. 223 00:05:01,715 --> 00:05:04,093 Is that an abbreviation 224 00:05:01,715 --> 00:05:04,093 for something? 225 00:05:04,093 --> 00:05:06,970 He's from Ohio. 226 00:05:06,970 --> 00:05:10,557 Dowisetrepla is 227 00:05:06,970 --> 00:05:10,557 the up-and-coming 228 00:05:06,970 --> 00:05:10,557 neighborhood. 229 00:05:10,557 --> 00:05:13,977 I think this might be 230 00:05:10,557 --> 00:05:13,977 the place where 231 00:05:10,557 --> 00:05:13,977 Lily and I start a family. 232 00:05:13,977 --> 00:05:15,687 I can see it now. 233 00:05:17,106 --> 00:05:18,648 Two, three, four. 234 00:05:22,069 --> 00:05:24,362 All right, 235 00:05:22,069 --> 00:05:24,362 bring it home, boys. 236 00:05:25,989 --> 00:05:29,868 Sounds great, boys. 237 00:05:25,989 --> 00:05:29,868 Who wants 238 00:05:25,989 --> 00:05:29,868 chocolate pancakes? 239 00:05:29,868 --> 00:05:31,828 Thanks, Mommy! 240 00:05:34,247 --> 00:05:37,208 Man, life is gonna be sweet! 241 00:05:37,208 --> 00:05:39,586 Oh, my God, 242 00:05:37,208 --> 00:05:39,586 Lily, have you seen 243 00:05:37,208 --> 00:05:39,586 this kitchen? 244 00:05:39,586 --> 00:05:40,921 I know. 245 00:05:39,586 --> 00:05:40,921 Isn't it amazing? 246 00:05:40,921 --> 00:05:41,964 It's... 247 00:05:41,964 --> 00:05:43,423 I just love it so... 248 00:05:43,423 --> 00:05:45,175 What the hell 249 00:05:43,423 --> 00:05:45,175 are you doing? 250 00:05:45,175 --> 00:05:46,760 You can't buy this place. 251 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:49,220 Lily, you have a debt 252 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:49,220 the size of 253 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:49,220 Mount Waddington! 254 00:05:49,220 --> 00:05:50,513 Waddington? 255 00:05:50,513 --> 00:05:51,681 It's the tallest mountain 256 00:05:50,513 --> 00:05:51,681 in Canada. 257 00:05:51,681 --> 00:05:53,391 It's like 258 00:05:51,681 --> 00:05:53,391 4,000 meters high. 259 00:05:53,391 --> 00:05:55,310 Meters? 260 00:05:55,310 --> 00:05:57,187 Oh, God! Don't let 261 00:05:55,310 --> 00:05:57,187 Marshall fall in love 262 00:05:55,310 --> 00:05:57,187 with this apartment. 263 00:05:57,187 --> 00:06:00,649 I know. I know, 264 00:05:57,187 --> 00:06:00,649 I know, I know. 265 00:05:57,187 --> 00:06:00,649 But what do I tell him? 266 00:06:00,649 --> 00:06:02,400 I don't know, tell him... 267 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:04,569 Tell him you saw a ghost. 268 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:04,569 Tell him it's haunted. 269 00:06:04,569 --> 00:06:06,822 You really don't know 270 00:06:04,569 --> 00:06:06,822 Marshall at all. 271 00:06:09,365 --> 00:06:11,451 So, the owners, 272 00:06:09,365 --> 00:06:11,451 where are they? 273 00:06:11,451 --> 00:06:14,163 Oh, they're on vacation 274 00:06:11,451 --> 00:06:14,163 in France for two weeks. 275 00:06:14,163 --> 00:06:19,209 I see. Between you and me, 276 00:06:14,163 --> 00:06:19,209 I'm also interested 277 00:06:14,163 --> 00:06:19,209 in the apartment. 278 00:06:19,209 --> 00:06:22,295 So is there any way 279 00:06:19,209 --> 00:06:22,295 I could come back later 280 00:06:19,209 --> 00:06:22,295 and check it out 281 00:06:22,295 --> 00:06:24,089 while you're showing them 282 00:06:22,295 --> 00:06:24,089 other places? 283 00:06:24,089 --> 00:06:27,884 The lockbox combination 284 00:06:24,089 --> 00:06:27,884 is 14-21, 285 00:06:24,089 --> 00:06:27,884 and here is my card. 286 00:06:31,805 --> 00:06:33,765 Are you serious? 287 00:06:33,765 --> 00:06:35,391 You're trying to snake 288 00:06:33,765 --> 00:06:35,391 this apartment away 289 00:06:33,765 --> 00:06:35,391 from Marshall and Lily? 290 00:06:35,391 --> 00:06:38,687 Ted, do you think 291 00:06:35,391 --> 00:06:38,687 I have no morals 292 00:06:35,391 --> 00:06:38,687 whatsoever? 293 00:06:38,687 --> 00:06:41,731 I simply want to fool a girl 294 00:06:38,687 --> 00:06:41,731 into thinking 295 00:06:38,687 --> 00:06:41,731 this is my apartment, 296 00:06:41,731 --> 00:06:43,900 so I can nail her once 297 00:06:41,731 --> 00:06:43,900 and never have to 298 00:06:41,731 --> 00:06:43,900 see her again. 299 00:06:43,900 --> 00:06:45,735 I'm not a monster. 300 00:06:45,735 --> 00:06:47,904 Now, listen. 301 00:06:45,735 --> 00:06:47,904 I don't want to put a lot of 302 00:06:45,735 --> 00:06:47,904 pressure on you, 303 00:06:47,904 --> 00:06:52,575 but there is one other couple 304 00:06:47,904 --> 00:06:52,575 that's expressed 305 00:06:47,904 --> 00:06:52,575 very serious interest. 306 00:06:52,575 --> 00:06:54,494 I see what 307 00:06:52,575 --> 00:06:54,494 you're doing here. 308 00:06:54,494 --> 00:06:57,039 "Another couple." Please. 309 00:06:57,039 --> 00:06:59,124 That crap is page one 310 00:06:57,039 --> 00:06:59,124 out of 311 00:06:57,039 --> 00:06:59,124 the realtor's playbook, 312 00:06:59,124 --> 00:07:01,084 and we're not buying it. 313 00:07:01,084 --> 00:07:03,128 Is what Marshall 314 00:07:01,084 --> 00:07:03,128 should have said. 315 00:07:03,128 --> 00:07:05,296 Another couple? No! 316 00:07:05,296 --> 00:07:08,424 We want it. Sell it to us. 317 00:07:05,296 --> 00:07:08,424 We'll give you 318 00:07:05,296 --> 00:07:08,424 so much more money. 319 00:07:08,424 --> 00:07:10,635 Oh, Marshall, 320 00:07:08,424 --> 00:07:10,635 can I talk to you? 321 00:07:11,970 --> 00:07:13,555 Marshall, I just... 322 00:07:13,555 --> 00:07:16,307 I don't know if now 323 00:07:13,555 --> 00:07:16,307 is the right time to buy. 324 00:07:16,307 --> 00:07:19,978 But we're not doing this 325 00:07:16,307 --> 00:07:19,978 for now, we're doing this 326 00:07:16,307 --> 00:07:19,978 for our future. 327 00:07:19,978 --> 00:07:22,814 Can't you imagine 328 00:07:19,978 --> 00:07:22,814 starting a family here? 329 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:29,445 Oh, Persephone! 330 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:29,445 Oh, Daphne! These will be 331 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:29,445 perfect additions 332 00:07:29,445 --> 00:07:32,657 to our upcoming 333 00:07:29,445 --> 00:07:32,657 mother-daughter exhibit 334 00:07:29,445 --> 00:07:32,657 at the Met. 335 00:07:34,617 --> 00:07:38,538 Looks great, girls. 336 00:07:34,617 --> 00:07:38,538 Who wants 337 00:07:34,617 --> 00:07:38,538 crepes au chocolat? 338 00:07:38,538 --> 00:07:41,041 Merci, Papa! 339 00:07:38,538 --> 00:07:41,041 Merci, Papa! 340 00:07:41,041 --> 00:07:44,377 So, what do 341 00:07:41,041 --> 00:07:44,377 you guys think? 342 00:07:44,377 --> 00:07:47,964 Oh, I love it, 343 00:07:44,377 --> 00:07:47,964 but, Marshall... 344 00:07:47,964 --> 00:07:51,634 I should have told you this 345 00:07:47,964 --> 00:07:51,634 a long time ago. 346 00:07:51,634 --> 00:07:53,762 We can't afford 347 00:07:51,634 --> 00:07:53,762 to buy an apartment 348 00:07:53,762 --> 00:07:56,472 because I have too much 349 00:07:53,762 --> 00:07:56,472 credit card debt. 350 00:07:56,472 --> 00:07:58,016 I am so sorry. 351 00:07:58,016 --> 00:07:59,976 Is what 352 00:07:58,016 --> 00:07:59,976 she should have said. 353 00:07:59,976 --> 00:08:04,397 I love it. Let's get it. 354 00:07:59,976 --> 00:08:04,397 Can we charge it? 355 00:08:04,397 --> 00:08:06,233 To Lily and Marshall, 356 00:08:06,233 --> 00:08:08,860 and their momentous 357 00:08:06,233 --> 00:08:08,860 step forward 358 00:08:06,233 --> 00:08:08,860 into adulthood. 359 00:08:08,860 --> 00:08:11,154 Chug! Chug! 360 00:08:08,860 --> 00:08:11,154 Chug! Chug! 361 00:08:11,154 --> 00:08:12,572 Drink it! 362 00:08:12,572 --> 00:08:14,532 Yes! Well done. 363 00:08:12,572 --> 00:08:14,532 Nice! 364 00:08:14,532 --> 00:08:15,575 Anything else? 365 00:08:15,575 --> 00:08:16,910 Yes. 366 00:08:16,910 --> 00:08:19,495 I've been staring 367 00:08:16,910 --> 00:08:19,495 at that thing for years. 368 00:08:19,495 --> 00:08:23,583 Wendy, bring me 369 00:08:19,495 --> 00:08:23,583 the comically large bottle 370 00:08:19,495 --> 00:08:23,583 of champagne. 371 00:08:26,753 --> 00:08:29,464 Really? Are you sure? 372 00:08:26,753 --> 00:08:29,464 It's never 373 00:08:26,753 --> 00:08:29,464 been refrigerated. 374 00:08:29,464 --> 00:08:31,967 And I think, at some point, 375 00:08:29,464 --> 00:08:31,967 there was a fish in it. 376 00:08:31,967 --> 00:08:35,470 Honey, once you've made 377 00:08:31,967 --> 00:08:35,470 the sale, stop selling. 378 00:08:35,470 --> 00:08:37,931 All right, but you guys 379 00:08:35,470 --> 00:08:37,931 have to help me carry it. 380 00:08:37,931 --> 00:08:39,724 All right, 381 00:08:37,931 --> 00:08:39,724 let's do it. 382 00:08:39,724 --> 00:08:41,810 Let's do this. 383 00:08:41,810 --> 00:08:44,813 I know what you're thinking. 384 00:08:41,810 --> 00:08:44,813 I should 385 00:08:41,810 --> 00:08:44,813 tell Marshall the truth. 386 00:08:44,813 --> 00:08:46,815 Hey, I've got the whole thing 387 00:08:44,813 --> 00:08:46,815 figured out. 388 00:08:46,815 --> 00:08:48,858 We'll apply for the loan 389 00:08:46,815 --> 00:08:48,858 under Marshall's name, 390 00:08:48,858 --> 00:08:50,693 and he'll never need to know. 391 00:08:50,693 --> 00:08:53,613 And then, in the meantime, 392 00:08:50,693 --> 00:08:53,613 I'll slowly work down my debt. 393 00:08:53,613 --> 00:08:55,490 Right after I furnish 394 00:08:53,613 --> 00:08:55,490 the apartment. 395 00:08:55,490 --> 00:08:58,994 I saw this amazing 396 00:08:55,490 --> 00:08:58,994 leather sofa today. 397 00:08:58,994 --> 00:09:01,121 You should be 398 00:08:58,994 --> 00:09:01,121 a reality show. 399 00:09:02,622 --> 00:09:03,915 Nice! Nice. 400 00:09:05,583 --> 00:09:07,877 Wait! That cork 401 00:09:05,583 --> 00:09:07,877 is the size 402 00:09:05,583 --> 00:09:07,877 of a softball, 403 00:09:07,877 --> 00:09:10,839 and you're pointing it 404 00:09:07,877 --> 00:09:10,839 directly at Wendy 405 00:09:07,877 --> 00:09:10,839 the waitress' face. 406 00:09:10,839 --> 00:09:11,965 Is what 407 00:09:10,839 --> 00:09:11,965 he should have said. 408 00:09:15,051 --> 00:09:17,053 Now, 409 00:09:15,051 --> 00:09:17,053 if you're thinking of 410 00:09:15,051 --> 00:09:17,053 buying an apartment, 411 00:09:17,053 --> 00:09:18,471 it's always good 412 00:09:17,053 --> 00:09:18,471 to check the place out 413 00:09:17,053 --> 00:09:18,471 at night. 414 00:09:18,471 --> 00:09:20,932 Welcome to my 415 00:09:18,471 --> 00:09:20,932 humble abode. 416 00:09:20,932 --> 00:09:23,518 This place 417 00:09:20,932 --> 00:09:23,518 is so nice. 418 00:09:23,518 --> 00:09:26,021 Make yourself at home. 419 00:09:23,518 --> 00:09:26,021 Please, get comfortable. 420 00:09:26,021 --> 00:09:28,815 If you see something 421 00:09:26,021 --> 00:09:28,815 you like, just take it. 422 00:09:29,858 --> 00:09:31,067 Who are these people? 423 00:09:31,067 --> 00:09:32,485 That's my parents. 424 00:09:33,403 --> 00:09:35,864 They're Asian. 425 00:09:35,864 --> 00:09:38,992 Yeah. They're a Chinese couple 426 00:09:35,864 --> 00:09:38,992 that wanted a white baby. 427 00:09:38,992 --> 00:09:40,994 It works both ways. 428 00:09:40,994 --> 00:09:42,078 Cookie? 429 00:09:42,078 --> 00:09:44,373 Wow! 430 00:09:42,078 --> 00:09:44,373 Did you make those? 431 00:09:44,373 --> 00:09:45,957 You got me. 432 00:09:45,957 --> 00:09:49,127 My sisters taught me 433 00:09:45,957 --> 00:09:49,127 how to bake 434 00:09:45,957 --> 00:09:49,127 and how to listen. 435 00:09:50,086 --> 00:09:52,547 I feel so at home here. 436 00:09:52,547 --> 00:09:55,925 I'm glad. 437 00:09:52,547 --> 00:09:55,925 Sometimes, I don't. 438 00:09:55,925 --> 00:09:58,803 A place like this 439 00:09:55,925 --> 00:09:58,803 really needs 440 00:09:55,925 --> 00:09:58,803 a lady of the house. 441 00:09:58,803 --> 00:10:01,348 I know it's too early 442 00:09:58,803 --> 00:10:01,348 to be thinking of you as... 443 00:10:01,348 --> 00:10:03,474 Oh, God. 444 00:10:01,348 --> 00:10:03,474 I'm freaking you out, 445 00:10:01,348 --> 00:10:03,474 aren't I? 446 00:10:03,474 --> 00:10:06,728 It's just, 447 00:10:03,474 --> 00:10:06,728 you make me feel so safe. 448 00:10:03,474 --> 00:10:06,728 I didn't... 449 00:10:09,105 --> 00:10:11,400 The next day, 450 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:12,859 Lily and Marshall 451 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:12,859 went to the mortgage broker 452 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:12,859 to get a loan. 453 00:10:12,859 --> 00:10:14,736 Hey, can we get this 454 00:10:12,859 --> 00:10:14,736 in singles? 455 00:10:14,736 --> 00:10:16,571 Before we get the apartment, 456 00:10:14,736 --> 00:10:16,571 I want to 457 00:10:14,736 --> 00:10:16,571 put in a kiddie pool 458 00:10:16,571 --> 00:10:18,573 and swim around in it 459 00:10:16,571 --> 00:10:18,573 naked. 460 00:10:20,158 --> 00:10:22,118 Right. That is good. 461 00:10:20,158 --> 00:10:22,118 Thank you. 462 00:10:22,118 --> 00:10:23,536 Thank you. 463 00:10:23,536 --> 00:10:26,415 Okay. All right, 464 00:10:23,536 --> 00:10:26,415 back to business now. 465 00:10:26,415 --> 00:10:29,584 All right, Ms. Aldrin, 466 00:10:26,415 --> 00:10:29,584 I'm going to need 467 00:10:26,415 --> 00:10:29,584 your social as well. 468 00:10:29,584 --> 00:10:32,795 What? Why? 469 00:10:29,584 --> 00:10:32,795 I mean, you already 470 00:10:29,584 --> 00:10:32,795 have Marshall's. 471 00:10:32,795 --> 00:10:34,630 Yes, but since 472 00:10:32,795 --> 00:10:34,630 you're a married couple, 473 00:10:34,630 --> 00:10:36,966 you'll be applying 474 00:10:34,630 --> 00:10:36,966 for a joint loan, so... 475 00:10:36,966 --> 00:10:41,054 Well, can we just go ahead 476 00:10:36,966 --> 00:10:41,054 and do it 477 00:10:36,966 --> 00:10:41,054 in my husband's name? 478 00:10:41,054 --> 00:10:42,680 He is the head 479 00:10:41,054 --> 00:10:42,680 of the household. 480 00:10:42,680 --> 00:10:43,932 He earns the big bucks. 481 00:10:43,932 --> 00:10:46,768 I mean, can women 482 00:10:43,932 --> 00:10:46,768 even own property? 483 00:10:46,768 --> 00:10:49,229 Baby, go ahead, 484 00:10:46,768 --> 00:10:49,229 just give him your social. 485 00:10:49,229 --> 00:10:51,189 Okay, my... 486 00:10:51,189 --> 00:10:54,025 My social is 487 00:10:51,189 --> 00:10:54,025 5-4-9-2-4-1-8-0. 488 00:10:54,943 --> 00:10:56,319 Got it. 489 00:10:57,779 --> 00:11:00,490 Let's see what kind of rate 490 00:10:57,779 --> 00:11:00,490 I can get you two. 491 00:11:00,490 --> 00:11:04,660 Under six percent. 492 00:11:00,490 --> 00:11:04,660 Under six percent. 493 00:11:00,490 --> 00:11:04,660 Under six percent, please. 494 00:11:04,660 --> 00:11:10,750 There we go. Congratulations. 495 00:11:04,660 --> 00:11:10,750 You've been approved 496 00:11:04,660 --> 00:11:10,750 for a loan at 18%. 497 00:11:10,750 --> 00:11:13,544 No. What? That... 498 00:11:10,750 --> 00:11:13,544 That can't be right. 499 00:11:13,544 --> 00:11:14,796 You're lucky to be 500 00:11:13,544 --> 00:11:14,796 getting a mortgage. 501 00:11:14,796 --> 00:11:16,714 Let's get out of here, 502 00:11:14,796 --> 00:11:16,714 Marshall. 503 00:11:16,714 --> 00:11:18,674 Wait, no. Hold it. Just... 504 00:11:16,714 --> 00:11:18,674 I don't understand. 505 00:11:18,674 --> 00:11:20,676 Did we do something wrong, 506 00:11:18,674 --> 00:11:20,676 or... You know? 507 00:11:20,676 --> 00:11:22,512 You have quite a bit 508 00:11:20,676 --> 00:11:22,512 of debt. 509 00:11:22,512 --> 00:11:25,890 My student loans. Great. 510 00:11:22,512 --> 00:11:25,890 I thought we were friends. 511 00:11:25,890 --> 00:11:27,850 You know what? 512 00:11:25,890 --> 00:11:27,850 It's fine to penalize me 513 00:11:27,850 --> 00:11:30,019 for trying to get 514 00:11:27,850 --> 00:11:30,019 an education 515 00:11:27,850 --> 00:11:30,019 and build a career, 516 00:11:30,019 --> 00:11:31,896 but I will not let you 517 00:11:30,019 --> 00:11:31,896 deprive my beautiful wife 518 00:11:31,896 --> 00:11:33,731 of her dream home, 519 00:11:31,896 --> 00:11:33,731 just because I... 520 00:11:33,731 --> 00:11:37,026 Okay, actually, 521 00:11:33,731 --> 00:11:37,026 it's because of your wife's 522 00:11:33,731 --> 00:11:37,026 credit card debt. 523 00:11:41,697 --> 00:11:42,991 Oh, my God. 524 00:11:45,868 --> 00:11:48,579 Marshall, there's something 525 00:11:45,868 --> 00:11:48,579 I have to tell you, 526 00:11:48,579 --> 00:11:51,166 and I want you to 527 00:11:48,579 --> 00:11:51,166 hear it from me first. 528 00:11:56,129 --> 00:11:58,256 Okay, so, let me 529 00:11:56,129 --> 00:11:58,256 get this straight. 530 00:11:58,256 --> 00:12:01,092 You just snuck this girl 531 00:11:58,256 --> 00:12:01,092 into some 532 00:11:58,256 --> 00:12:01,092 stranger's apartment? 533 00:12:01,092 --> 00:12:02,260 Yeah, we spent the night. 534 00:12:03,178 --> 00:12:05,263 Hey, look at you. 535 00:12:05,263 --> 00:12:09,267 Hey, I'm wearing 536 00:12:05,263 --> 00:12:09,267 our bathrobe. 537 00:12:10,226 --> 00:12:11,978 I hope you don't mind. 538 00:12:11,978 --> 00:12:15,315 The only thing missing 539 00:12:11,978 --> 00:12:15,315 from that bathrobe 540 00:12:11,978 --> 00:12:15,315 are your initials. 541 00:12:16,483 --> 00:12:19,735 My mom's gonna be in town 542 00:12:16,483 --> 00:12:19,735 next week. 543 00:12:19,735 --> 00:12:22,613 Is it okay 544 00:12:19,735 --> 00:12:22,613 if she stays with us? 545 00:12:22,613 --> 00:12:27,160 Only if she sleeps in the bed 546 00:12:22,613 --> 00:12:27,160 and I sleep on the couch. 547 00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:28,786 You're so sweet. 548 00:12:28,786 --> 00:12:30,539 I love you. 549 00:12:30,539 --> 00:12:33,583 There, I said it 550 00:12:30,539 --> 00:12:33,583 and I'm not taking it back. 551 00:12:33,583 --> 00:12:39,422 Oh, my God! I love you, too. 552 00:12:33,583 --> 00:12:39,422 I'm finally not 553 00:12:33,583 --> 00:12:39,422 the first one to say it! 554 00:12:39,422 --> 00:12:41,716 How about 555 00:12:39,422 --> 00:12:41,716 you get in the shower, 556 00:12:41,716 --> 00:12:43,593 and I will make us 557 00:12:41,716 --> 00:12:43,593 some waffles? 558 00:12:59,859 --> 00:13:02,445 Works every time. 559 00:13:02,445 --> 00:13:04,864 Wait. That time 560 00:13:02,445 --> 00:13:04,864 that you offered 561 00:13:02,445 --> 00:13:04,864 to walk my dogs 562 00:13:04,864 --> 00:13:06,824 when I went to 563 00:13:04,864 --> 00:13:06,824 visit my dad 564 00:13:04,864 --> 00:13:06,824 in Vancouver? 565 00:13:06,824 --> 00:13:08,743 Yup. 566 00:13:08,743 --> 00:13:12,330 Is that why my Yorkie 567 00:13:08,743 --> 00:13:12,330 trembled for like a week 568 00:13:08,743 --> 00:13:12,330 after I got back? 569 00:13:12,330 --> 00:13:15,500 Yeah. That little guy 570 00:13:12,330 --> 00:13:15,500 saw some stuff 571 00:13:12,330 --> 00:13:15,500 I'm not proud of. 572 00:13:16,751 --> 00:13:17,960 Whoa! 573 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:19,379 What? 574 00:13:19,379 --> 00:13:21,005 There was a fight here. 575 00:13:21,005 --> 00:13:22,465 What do you mean? 576 00:13:22,465 --> 00:13:24,426 Whenever Marshall and Lily 577 00:13:22,465 --> 00:13:24,426 have a big argument, 578 00:13:24,426 --> 00:13:26,886 they always leave 579 00:13:24,426 --> 00:13:26,886 a trail of evidence 580 00:13:24,426 --> 00:13:26,886 all over the apartment. 581 00:13:26,886 --> 00:13:31,558 Oh, God, here we go. 582 00:13:26,886 --> 00:13:31,558 He had a detective club 583 00:13:26,886 --> 00:13:31,558 as a kid. 584 00:13:31,558 --> 00:13:34,477 The Mosby Boys 585 00:13:31,558 --> 00:13:34,477 cracked a lot of big cases. 586 00:13:34,477 --> 00:13:38,565 The Mosby Boys? 587 00:13:34,477 --> 00:13:38,565 You mean 588 00:13:34,477 --> 00:13:38,565 you and your sister? 589 00:13:38,565 --> 00:13:40,525 We solved the mystery 590 00:13:38,565 --> 00:13:40,525 of the missing retainer. 591 00:13:40,525 --> 00:13:43,612 Hmm. Let me guess. 592 00:13:40,525 --> 00:13:43,612 It was in the garbage. 593 00:13:43,612 --> 00:13:45,988 Why are you like this? 594 00:13:45,988 --> 00:13:48,866 Anyway, this is serious. 595 00:13:45,988 --> 00:13:48,866 I know Lily and Marshall. 596 00:13:48,866 --> 00:13:52,537 All the telltale signs 597 00:13:48,866 --> 00:13:52,537 are here. Like this. 598 00:13:52,537 --> 00:13:53,663 A water bottle? 599 00:13:53,663 --> 00:13:55,498 Don't touch 600 00:13:53,663 --> 00:13:55,498 the evidence. 601 00:13:55,498 --> 00:13:57,667 I got your back, partner. 602 00:13:57,667 --> 00:13:59,710 It's not just 603 00:13:57,667 --> 00:13:59,710 any water bottle. 604 00:13:59,710 --> 00:14:02,922 Notice the label 605 00:13:59,710 --> 00:14:02,922 is peeled off. 606 00:14:02,922 --> 00:14:06,676 Lily always peels 607 00:14:02,922 --> 00:14:06,676 labels off the bottle 608 00:14:02,922 --> 00:14:06,676 when she's feeling guilty. 609 00:14:06,676 --> 00:14:11,514 This label is not only 610 00:14:06,676 --> 00:14:11,514 peeled off, but torn up. 611 00:14:11,514 --> 00:14:16,436 Oh, man, 612 00:14:11,514 --> 00:14:16,436 she must have done 613 00:14:11,514 --> 00:14:16,436 something bad. 614 00:14:16,436 --> 00:14:18,313 Which means Marshall 615 00:14:16,436 --> 00:14:18,313 must have been 616 00:14:16,436 --> 00:14:18,313 really angry, 617 00:14:18,313 --> 00:14:20,815 and when Marshall 618 00:14:18,313 --> 00:14:20,815 gets really angry, 619 00:14:20,815 --> 00:14:22,400 he eats. 620 00:14:28,364 --> 00:14:29,574 Ah! 621 00:14:29,574 --> 00:14:31,660 Just as I suspected. 622 00:14:31,660 --> 00:14:34,370 Cherry Garcia. 623 00:14:34,370 --> 00:14:36,956 Given the liquid 624 00:14:34,370 --> 00:14:36,956 consistency, 625 00:14:36,956 --> 00:14:41,752 I place the fight between 626 00:14:36,956 --> 00:14:41,752 noon and 1:00. 627 00:14:41,752 --> 00:14:43,879 Ew. 628 00:14:41,752 --> 00:14:43,879 That was on the floor. 629 00:14:43,879 --> 00:14:45,923 If you want to get to 630 00:14:43,879 --> 00:14:45,923 the bottom of this, 631 00:14:45,923 --> 00:14:48,468 you're gonna need 632 00:14:45,923 --> 00:14:48,468 a stronger stomach 633 00:14:45,923 --> 00:14:48,468 than that, dollface. 634 00:14:48,468 --> 00:14:50,512 Marshall stood here, 635 00:14:50,512 --> 00:14:52,597 eating and yelling, 636 00:14:50,512 --> 00:14:52,597 yelling and eating. 637 00:14:53,515 --> 00:14:55,558 Lily stood here, 638 00:14:56,559 --> 00:14:58,894 crying. 639 00:14:56,559 --> 00:14:58,894 Ew, Ted. 640 00:14:58,894 --> 00:15:02,649 And then Marshall 641 00:14:58,894 --> 00:15:02,649 tried to storm out, 642 00:15:02,649 --> 00:15:06,695 but Lily went for 643 00:15:02,649 --> 00:15:06,695 the Hail Mary pass. 644 00:15:09,030 --> 00:15:10,948 Which would mean... 645 00:15:14,410 --> 00:15:15,537 Ah! 646 00:15:15,537 --> 00:15:17,580 What do you think, 647 00:15:15,537 --> 00:15:17,580 make-up sex? 648 00:15:17,580 --> 00:15:19,915 No. There'd be 649 00:15:17,580 --> 00:15:19,915 a bigger mess. 650 00:15:19,915 --> 00:15:22,460 Tempted as he was, 651 00:15:19,915 --> 00:15:22,460 Marshall was 652 00:15:19,915 --> 00:15:22,460 still too upset. 653 00:15:22,460 --> 00:15:24,837 He had to 654 00:15:22,460 --> 00:15:24,837 get out of here, 655 00:15:22,460 --> 00:15:24,837 any way he could. 656 00:15:24,837 --> 00:15:28,717 He chose the door, 657 00:15:24,837 --> 00:15:28,717 slamming it behind him. 658 00:15:28,717 --> 00:15:30,885 Which is why 659 00:15:28,717 --> 00:15:30,885 this picture is crooked. 660 00:15:30,885 --> 00:15:32,470 Nice catch, rook. 661 00:15:32,470 --> 00:15:34,972 I'll just take this 662 00:15:32,470 --> 00:15:34,972 down to the lab. 663 00:15:37,308 --> 00:15:39,227 Now all we need 664 00:15:37,308 --> 00:15:39,227 is a motive. 665 00:15:39,227 --> 00:15:42,271 The million-dollar question. 666 00:15:39,227 --> 00:15:42,271 What were 667 00:15:39,227 --> 00:15:42,271 they fighting about? 668 00:15:42,271 --> 00:15:43,439 I know what 669 00:15:42,271 --> 00:15:43,439 they've been 670 00:15:42,271 --> 00:15:43,439 fighting about... 671 00:15:44,691 --> 00:15:47,694 There's only one 672 00:15:44,691 --> 00:15:47,694 possible conclusion. 673 00:15:47,694 --> 00:15:50,530 Lily and Marshall 674 00:15:47,694 --> 00:15:50,530 were fighting about 675 00:15:51,406 --> 00:15:53,408 peanut butter. 676 00:15:51,406 --> 00:15:53,408 Ah. 677 00:15:53,408 --> 00:15:55,493 Lily left the lid off... 678 00:15:56,745 --> 00:15:59,872 and Marshall blew his. 679 00:15:59,872 --> 00:16:02,751 I know what they 680 00:15:59,872 --> 00:16:02,751 were fighting about, 681 00:15:59,872 --> 00:16:02,751 and it wasn't peanut butter. 682 00:16:02,751 --> 00:16:05,253 Robin, just... 683 00:16:02,751 --> 00:16:05,253 I appreciate your help, 684 00:16:05,253 --> 00:16:07,589 but there's a reason 685 00:16:05,253 --> 00:16:07,589 your name is Robin, 686 00:16:05,253 --> 00:16:07,589 not Batman. 687 00:16:07,589 --> 00:16:09,257 Just... 688 00:16:09,257 --> 00:16:10,800 They were fighting 689 00:16:09,257 --> 00:16:10,800 because they didn't 690 00:16:09,257 --> 00:16:10,800 get the loan, 691 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:12,468 and it's all Lily's fault. 692 00:16:12,468 --> 00:16:14,470 Robin, just... 693 00:16:12,468 --> 00:16:14,470 What? 694 00:16:14,470 --> 00:16:18,433 Yeah, she has a pile of debt 695 00:16:14,470 --> 00:16:18,433 the size of Mount Rushmore. 696 00:16:18,433 --> 00:16:21,436 Nice try, Robin. 697 00:16:18,433 --> 00:16:21,436 So, the next thing 698 00:16:18,433 --> 00:16:21,436 Lily did 699 00:16:21,436 --> 00:16:25,648 was give Marshall 700 00:16:21,436 --> 00:16:25,648 a few hours to cool off 701 00:16:21,436 --> 00:16:25,648 about the peanut butter. 702 00:16:25,648 --> 00:16:27,776 Then she called him 703 00:16:25,648 --> 00:16:27,776 to apologize, 704 00:16:27,776 --> 00:16:31,446 which is why 705 00:16:27,776 --> 00:16:31,446 the last number 706 00:16:27,776 --> 00:16:31,446 dialed is... 707 00:16:31,446 --> 00:16:33,823 Greenstein and Lee, 708 00:16:31,446 --> 00:16:33,823 divorce attorneys. 709 00:16:35,575 --> 00:16:37,118 This can't be happening. 710 00:16:37,118 --> 00:16:39,454 They can't get divorced. 711 00:16:39,454 --> 00:16:41,414 Not Lily and Marshall, 712 00:16:39,454 --> 00:16:41,414 no way. 713 00:16:41,414 --> 00:16:42,873 Well, it's been nice 714 00:16:41,414 --> 00:16:42,873 knowing you guys. 715 00:16:42,873 --> 00:16:44,834 What do you mean? 716 00:16:44,834 --> 00:16:47,211 Well, Marshall's 717 00:16:44,834 --> 00:16:47,211 gonna get you guys, 718 00:16:44,834 --> 00:16:47,211 Lily's gonna get me. 719 00:16:47,211 --> 00:16:48,755 Even if they break up, 720 00:16:48,755 --> 00:16:50,715 that doesn't mean 721 00:16:48,755 --> 00:16:50,715 we still can't 722 00:16:48,755 --> 00:16:50,715 all hang out. 723 00:16:50,715 --> 00:16:52,634 I mean, we broke up 724 00:16:50,715 --> 00:16:52,634 and we still hang out. 725 00:16:50,715 --> 00:16:52,634 It's not weird. 726 00:16:52,634 --> 00:16:54,051 It's a little weird. 727 00:16:54,051 --> 00:16:56,220 Yeah, it is. It's weird. 728 00:16:58,514 --> 00:17:01,726 The world needs 729 00:16:58,514 --> 00:17:01,726 Marshall and Lily together. 730 00:17:03,853 --> 00:17:06,564 I'm not crying. 731 00:17:03,853 --> 00:17:06,564 There's something in my eye. 732 00:17:08,608 --> 00:17:10,067 They're back. 733 00:17:11,569 --> 00:17:13,446 Hey. 734 00:17:11,569 --> 00:17:13,446 Hey, guys. 735 00:17:14,947 --> 00:17:16,658 We have an announcement. 736 00:17:16,658 --> 00:17:19,786 I know. 737 00:17:16,658 --> 00:17:19,786 It's a terrible idea. 738 00:17:16,658 --> 00:17:19,786 You can't do it! 739 00:17:21,329 --> 00:17:22,913 Just look at me. 740 00:17:25,916 --> 00:17:28,461 I hit redial on the phone. 741 00:17:25,916 --> 00:17:28,461 Divorce lawyers? 742 00:17:28,461 --> 00:17:30,588 Oh. I should explain. 743 00:17:31,673 --> 00:17:33,341 We got in 744 00:17:31,673 --> 00:17:33,341 a pretty big fight. 745 00:17:33,341 --> 00:17:34,925 Yeah, I know. 746 00:17:36,010 --> 00:17:37,679 Marshall stormed out. 747 00:17:37,679 --> 00:17:39,054 I went to the bar. 748 00:17:41,098 --> 00:17:43,392 Still drinking that? 749 00:17:43,392 --> 00:17:48,481 I paid for it. 750 00:17:43,392 --> 00:17:48,481 And apparently 751 00:17:43,392 --> 00:17:48,481 money's tight now, so... 752 00:17:48,481 --> 00:17:51,025 Listen. I've been 753 00:17:48,481 --> 00:17:51,025 thinking about this, 754 00:17:51,025 --> 00:17:53,944 and I know there's no way 755 00:17:51,025 --> 00:17:53,944 to undo what I've done, 756 00:17:53,944 --> 00:17:56,614 but, well, 757 00:17:53,944 --> 00:17:56,614 I made an appointment 758 00:17:56,614 --> 00:17:58,240 with a divorce lawyer. 759 00:17:56,614 --> 00:17:58,240 What? 760 00:17:58,240 --> 00:17:59,575 What? 761 00:17:58,240 --> 00:17:59,575 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 762 00:17:59,575 --> 00:18:01,494 What, you want 763 00:17:59,575 --> 00:18:01,494 a divorce, now? 764 00:17:59,575 --> 00:18:01,494 No. 765 00:18:01,494 --> 00:18:04,372 I just mean on paper, 766 00:18:01,494 --> 00:18:04,372 so that you can 767 00:18:01,494 --> 00:18:04,372 buy the apartment 768 00:18:04,372 --> 00:18:06,457 without my bad credit 769 00:18:04,372 --> 00:18:06,457 dragging us down. 770 00:18:06,457 --> 00:18:09,585 Lily, are you trying 771 00:18:06,457 --> 00:18:09,585 to kill me? 772 00:18:09,585 --> 00:18:11,212 I'm sorry, 773 00:18:09,585 --> 00:18:11,212 I shouldn't have led 774 00:18:11,212 --> 00:18:12,630 with the divorce 775 00:18:11,212 --> 00:18:12,630 lawyer part. 776 00:18:12,630 --> 00:18:14,549 No, you shouldn't have. 777 00:18:16,300 --> 00:18:17,802 I love you, Lily. 778 00:18:17,802 --> 00:18:19,261 I love you, too. 779 00:18:19,261 --> 00:18:23,265 And I want us to 780 00:18:19,261 --> 00:18:23,265 have our dream home. 781 00:18:23,265 --> 00:18:27,186 I don't know. 782 00:18:23,265 --> 00:18:27,186 It seems like 783 00:18:23,265 --> 00:18:27,186 this is a way to do it. 784 00:18:27,186 --> 00:18:31,607 So, Marshall Eriksen, 785 00:18:27,186 --> 00:18:31,607 will you divorce me? 786 00:18:33,526 --> 00:18:36,195 That's the sweetest 787 00:18:33,526 --> 00:18:36,195 divorce proposal 788 00:18:33,526 --> 00:18:36,195 I've ever heard. 789 00:18:36,195 --> 00:18:37,572 So is that a yes? 790 00:18:37,572 --> 00:18:39,490 You can't sleep 791 00:18:37,572 --> 00:18:39,490 with other women, though. 792 00:18:39,490 --> 00:18:44,119 No. We're not 793 00:18:39,490 --> 00:18:44,119 getting divorced, 794 00:18:39,490 --> 00:18:44,119 not even on paper. 795 00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:46,789 When I married you, 796 00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:46,789 I married 797 00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:46,789 your problems, too. 798 00:18:46,789 --> 00:18:50,543 The ones I knew about 799 00:18:46,789 --> 00:18:50,543 and the ones I didn't. 800 00:18:50,543 --> 00:18:53,880 So, that was the deal, 801 00:18:50,543 --> 00:18:53,880 and we'll figure this out 802 00:18:50,543 --> 00:18:53,880 together. 803 00:18:58,259 --> 00:19:00,469 Can I get you guys 804 00:18:58,259 --> 00:19:00,469 anything else? 805 00:19:02,471 --> 00:19:04,640 So, you're not 806 00:19:02,471 --> 00:19:04,640 getting a divorce? 807 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:05,975 No. 808 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:05,975 Wow, you guys scared us. 809 00:19:05,975 --> 00:19:07,685 Oh, thank God! 810 00:19:08,644 --> 00:19:10,646 Cause, I mean, 811 00:19:08,644 --> 00:19:10,646 if you did, 812 00:19:10,646 --> 00:19:13,524 then who'd be 813 00:19:10,646 --> 00:19:13,524 the lame married couple 814 00:19:10,646 --> 00:19:13,524 I get to make fun of? 815 00:19:13,524 --> 00:19:16,444 Like, "Hey, Marshall, 816 00:19:13,524 --> 00:19:16,444 you married Miss Right. 817 00:19:16,444 --> 00:19:18,613 "You just didn't know 818 00:19:16,444 --> 00:19:18,613 her first name 819 00:19:16,444 --> 00:19:18,613 was Always." 820 00:19:18,613 --> 00:19:20,489 That stuff is gold. 821 00:19:22,951 --> 00:19:25,703 So, what's the announcement? 822 00:19:25,703 --> 00:19:27,288 I just got off the phone 823 00:19:25,703 --> 00:19:27,288 with the realtor. 824 00:19:27,288 --> 00:19:30,625 We told her that 825 00:19:27,288 --> 00:19:30,625 because of our finances, 826 00:19:30,625 --> 00:19:32,877 we're not getting the place. 827 00:19:30,625 --> 00:19:32,877 It's just not the right time. 828 00:19:32,877 --> 00:19:35,212 Is what Marshall 829 00:19:32,877 --> 00:19:35,212 should have said. 830 00:19:35,212 --> 00:19:37,757 I just got off the phone 831 00:19:35,212 --> 00:19:37,757 with the realtor. 832 00:19:37,757 --> 00:19:38,800 We got the place! 833 00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:40,259 We're homeowners! 834 00:19:40,259 --> 00:19:41,260 Have you 835 00:19:40,259 --> 00:19:41,260 lost your mind? 836 00:19:41,260 --> 00:19:42,804 Are you insane? 837 00:19:42,804 --> 00:19:44,430 Is what 838 00:19:42,804 --> 00:19:44,430 we should have said. 839 00:19:44,430 --> 00:19:46,557 Yeah! 840 00:19:44,430 --> 00:19:46,557 That's awesome! 841 00:19:52,730 --> 00:19:54,732 This is exciting! 842 00:19:52,730 --> 00:19:54,732 Yeah. 843 00:19:54,732 --> 00:19:57,693 There it is! 844 00:19:54,732 --> 00:19:57,693 Our new home. 845 00:19:59,361 --> 00:20:00,989 Shall we? 846 00:19:59,361 --> 00:20:00,989 We shall. 847 00:20:05,910 --> 00:20:07,870 Oh, what 848 00:20:05,910 --> 00:20:07,870 a horrible smell. 849 00:20:07,870 --> 00:20:09,038 It reeks! 850 00:20:09,038 --> 00:20:10,832 Oh, that's just 851 00:20:09,038 --> 00:20:10,832 the plant. 852 00:20:10,832 --> 00:20:12,667 Don't worry, 853 00:20:10,832 --> 00:20:12,667 they shut it down 854 00:20:10,832 --> 00:20:12,667 on the weekend. 855 00:20:12,667 --> 00:20:15,544 What plant? 856 00:20:12,667 --> 00:20:15,544 What are you 857 00:20:12,667 --> 00:20:15,544 talking about? 858 00:20:15,544 --> 00:20:16,921 Don't you know? 859 00:20:16,921 --> 00:20:18,464 Baby, this whole neighborhood 860 00:20:16,921 --> 00:20:18,464 is downwind 861 00:20:18,464 --> 00:20:20,424 of the sewage 862 00:20:18,464 --> 00:20:20,424 treatment plant. 863 00:20:21,676 --> 00:20:23,385 Wait. 864 00:20:23,385 --> 00:20:25,680 What did you just say? 865 00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:29,183 I said we're downwind 866 00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:29,183 of the sewage 867 00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:29,183 treatment plant. 868 00:20:33,980 --> 00:20:35,523 Uh-oh. 869 00:20:33,980 --> 00:20:35,523 Uh-oh.