1 00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:03,879 Kids, back in 2007, 2 00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:03,879 it seemed like 3 00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:03,879 everyone belonged 4 00:00:03,879 --> 00:00:06,757 to these silly things 5 00:00:03,879 --> 00:00:06,757 called gyms. 6 00:00:06,757 --> 00:00:08,717 The idea was, 7 00:00:06,757 --> 00:00:08,717 you'd pay them lots of money 8 00:00:08,717 --> 00:00:10,886 to run around 9 00:00:08,717 --> 00:00:10,886 and lift heavy things. 10 00:00:10,886 --> 00:00:13,597 Biggest rip-off in the world, 11 00:00:10,886 --> 00:00:13,597 and yet people fell for it. 12 00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:14,681 Including me. 13 00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:17,183 Oh, forgot my wallet. 14 00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:19,269 It started with 15 00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:19,269 one of those moments 16 00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:22,522 when you realize 17 00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:22,522 you're not as in shape 18 00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:22,522 as you want to be. 19 00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:27,193 It's further 20 00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:27,193 than it looks. 21 00:00:27,193 --> 00:00:29,947 Coupon's on my dresser. 22 00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:31,991 It's too far. Forget it. 23 00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:35,494 Please don't judge me. 24 00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:38,204 I wound up shame-eating 25 00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:38,204 the whole pizza. 26 00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:40,666 I woke up all greasy 27 00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:40,666 and sweaty. 28 00:00:40,666 --> 00:00:44,962 My sheets looked like 29 00:00:40,666 --> 00:00:44,962 what they wrap 30 00:00:40,666 --> 00:00:44,962 deli sandwiches in. 31 00:00:44,962 --> 00:00:47,756 Maybe I should join a gym. 32 00:00:44,962 --> 00:00:47,756 Do you go to a gym? 33 00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:50,676 Well, I go to 34 00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:50,676 Total Rip Fitness, 35 00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:50,676 but I don't work out there. 36 00:00:50,676 --> 00:00:51,760 What do you do? 37 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,762 I invest. 38 00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:55,639 Look. 39 00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:55,639 There goes one of 40 00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:55,639 my investments now. 41 00:00:55,639 --> 00:00:59,685 Cheryl, hard work's 42 00:00:55,639 --> 00:00:59,685 paying off. 43 00:00:55,639 --> 00:00:59,685 Keep up the good work. 44 00:00:59,685 --> 00:01:02,354 So, your investments 45 00:00:59,685 --> 00:01:02,354 are women? 46 00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:04,272 Yes. 47 00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:07,484 Women who... 48 00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:07,484 How shall I put this 49 00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:07,484 delicately? 50 00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:09,569 They fat! 51 00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:12,572 So, I come here, 52 00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:12,572 give them lots of 53 00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:12,572 attention now. 54 00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:15,492 Then, when they get hot, 55 00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:15,492 who's the first guy 56 00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:15,492 they run to? 57 00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:18,244 The one who 58 00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:18,244 invested in them 59 00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:18,244 when they weren't. 60 00:01:18,244 --> 00:01:19,579 Wow. 61 00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:20,914 I can't decide 62 00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:20,914 if I'm thoroughly disgusted 63 00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:23,291 or really, 64 00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:23,291 really impressed. 65 00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:25,711 Of course, 66 00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:25,711 not all investments 67 00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:25,711 pay dividends. 68 00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:28,630 See the girl over there 69 00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:28,630 at the vending machine, 70 00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:28,630 Tanya? 71 00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:31,299 She is one Kit Kat away 72 00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:31,299 from junk bond status. 73 00:01:32,258 --> 00:01:34,135 Hey, Barney. 74 00:01:34,135 --> 00:01:38,765 Becky, elliptical machine's 75 00:01:34,135 --> 00:01:38,765 really working for you. 76 00:01:34,135 --> 00:01:38,765 Nice stuff. 77 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:42,143 That one's going to 78 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:42,143 reward shareholders soon. 79 00:01:42,143 --> 00:01:46,398 I foresee 80 00:01:42,143 --> 00:01:46,398 aggressive growth 81 00:01:42,143 --> 00:01:46,398 in my future. What up? 82 00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:49,860 Wow, that makes me 83 00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:49,860 want to join a gym, 84 00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:53,989 so I can get super-strong 85 00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:53,989 and punch you 86 00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:53,989 really hard in the face. 87 00:01:53,989 --> 00:01:55,949 Yes, we should all do it. 88 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:59,119 Yeah, let's all punch 89 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:59,119 Barney in the face. 90 00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:02,122 No, I'm serious. 91 00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:02,122 We should 92 00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:02,122 totally join a gym. 93 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,874 Come on, we put on 94 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,874 the beer weight together, 95 00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:05,500 might as well 96 00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:05,500 take it off together. 97 00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:08,670 Or we could just 98 00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:08,670 stop drinking beer. 99 00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:10,756 No. I say we join a gym. 100 00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:10,756 No, let's join a gym. 101 00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:13,717 Are you Marshall? 102 00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:13,717 Yeah. 103 00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:15,677 Hi, I'm Trish. 104 00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:15,677 I'm the trainer 105 00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:15,677 you signed up for. 106 00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:17,804 Oh, hi. 107 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,806 Really great to 108 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,806 meet you, Trish. 109 00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:24,144 It's a pleasure. 110 00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:24,144 Marshall, can I talk to you 111 00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:24,144 for a second? 112 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,395 Sure. 113 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,395 Great. 114 00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:26,813 Just a second. 115 00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:33,319 Sweetie, I think she's maybe 116 00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:33,319 just a little too hot 117 00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:33,319 to be your trainer. 118 00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:35,530 I get it. I mean, 119 00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:37,574 I see what 120 00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:37,574 you're worried about. 121 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:40,493 But this is just about me 122 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:40,493 taking care of myself. 123 00:02:40,493 --> 00:02:43,830 You'll always be 124 00:02:40,493 --> 00:02:43,830 my sugar. 125 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:47,375 So, Marshall, are you ready 126 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:47,375 to make a commitment 127 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:47,375 to your body? 128 00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:49,711 Please, I'm all about 129 00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:49,711 committing to my body. 130 00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:51,671 I'll drive to Vermont 131 00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:51,671 and have a commitment ceremony 132 00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:55,341 to my body, if you want. 133 00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:55,341 That was 134 00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:55,341 a weird thing to say. 135 00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:57,761 All right. 136 00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:57,761 Start with 100 push-ups. 137 00:02:57,761 --> 00:02:58,929 All right, cool. 138 00:02:57,761 --> 00:02:58,929 How many 139 00:02:57,761 --> 00:02:58,929 do you want me do? 140 00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:01,264 A hundred. 141 00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:03,349 Oh, I thought that was 142 00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:03,349 a figure of speech, 143 00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:03,349 "A hundred push-ups," 144 00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:07,270 like, 145 00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:07,270 "Do a bazillion push-ups." 146 00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:07,270 No one can do 100. 147 00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:10,273 Do you smell that? 148 00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:10,273 No. 149 00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:13,359 It smells like 150 00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:13,359 there's a little bitch 151 00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:13,359 in my gym. 152 00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:14,694 Are you being a little bitch 153 00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:14,694 in my gym? 154 00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:16,362 No. 155 00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:18,281 Then get on the floor 156 00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:18,281 and give me 100! 157 00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:20,366 You didn't have to 158 00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:20,366 yell at me. 159 00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:22,786 I love it here. 160 00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:24,704 It's just normal women 161 00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:24,704 who want to get in shape. 162 00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:28,249 I don't have to 163 00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:28,249 put on makeup, do my hair, 164 00:03:28,249 --> 00:03:30,169 wear some trendy outfit. 165 00:03:30,169 --> 00:03:32,129 Yeah, this place 166 00:03:30,169 --> 00:03:32,129 is great. 167 00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:33,839 We're meeting 168 00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:33,839 our friend Robin here. 169 00:03:33,839 --> 00:03:35,256 I hope you don't hate her. 170 00:03:33,839 --> 00:03:35,256 She's pretty hot. 171 00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:38,135 Shut up. 172 00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:38,135 Lily, tell him 173 00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:38,135 to shut up. 174 00:03:38,135 --> 00:03:39,803 I'm sorry, 175 00:03:38,135 --> 00:03:39,803 lesbian prison guard, 176 00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:41,013 do we know each other? 177 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,891 Ted, Lily, 178 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,891 you'll never believe 179 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,891 what just happened. 180 00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:47,602 Oh, hey, dude, 181 00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:47,602 I'm Barney. 182 00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:49,437 So, I was at 183 00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:49,437 the smoothie bar... 184 00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:52,232 What can I get you? 185 00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:54,818 Oh, my God. Rhonda? 186 00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:57,863 It's Barney. 187 00:03:57,863 --> 00:03:59,990 Barney Stinson, from 188 00:03:57,863 --> 00:03:59,990 Staten Island Boulevard. 189 00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:02,201 Hey, Barney Stinson 190 00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:02,201 from Staten Island 191 00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:02,201 Boulevard. 192 00:04:02,201 --> 00:04:04,744 What can I get you? 193 00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:05,996 I can't believe 194 00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:05,996 she didn't remember me. 195 00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:07,164 Why? Who is she? 196 00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:08,790 That's Rhonda. 197 00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,335 I lost my virginity to her. 198 00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:31,188 Baby, are you 199 00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:31,188 still sore? 200 00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:35,275 Trish made me do 70 push-ups, 201 00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:35,275 but she only 202 00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:35,275 gave me credit for 10. 203 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,694 Then, she had me do 204 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,694 100 sit-ups, 205 00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:40,822 and then she made me cry, 206 00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:40,822 using only her words. 207 00:04:43,242 --> 00:04:45,744 It just doesn't add up. 208 00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:47,787 How could Rhonda 209 00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:47,787 not remember me? 210 00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,248 Well, maybe it wasn't 211 00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,248 that good for her. 212 00:04:49,248 --> 00:04:51,124 I mean, 213 00:04:49,248 --> 00:04:51,124 it was your first time. 214 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,376 Ted, it's me. 215 00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:56,004 I rocked her world. 216 00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:59,841 You don't believe me? 217 00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:59,841 Okay, story time. 218 00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:59,841 The year was 1998. 219 00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:02,385 I'd been going out 220 00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:02,385 with Shannon since 221 00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:02,385 freshman year of college. 222 00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:04,387 We were saving ourselves. 223 00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:08,225 So, when we broke up, 224 00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:08,225 there I was, 225 00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:08,225 23 and still a virgin. 226 00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:10,102 I knew nothing about girls. 227 00:05:10,102 --> 00:05:12,687 So I went to the guy 228 00:05:10,102 --> 00:05:12,687 who knew 229 00:05:10,102 --> 00:05:12,687 everything about girls, 230 00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:13,772 my brother James. 231 00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:16,608 Wait, your gay brother 232 00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:16,608 James? 233 00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:18,235 Yeah, this was before 234 00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:18,235 he was gay. 235 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:33,625 Barney... Barney, you need to 236 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:33,625 find a girl and 237 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:33,625 have sex with her, ASAP: 238 00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:35,877 That is what dudes do 239 00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:35,877 after a breakup. 240 00:05:35,877 --> 00:05:40,799 I know. 241 00:05:35,877 --> 00:05:40,799 I want to, but I guess 242 00:05:35,877 --> 00:05:40,799 I'm just scared. 243 00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:42,968 Of course you're scared. 244 00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:42,968 It's gross. 245 00:05:42,968 --> 00:05:45,845 The thought of doing that 246 00:05:42,968 --> 00:05:45,845 with a woman... 247 00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:48,181 But it's part of 248 00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:48,181 being a guy. 249 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,350 Try thinking 250 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,350 about baseball. 251 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:54,896 Somehow, I imagine 252 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:54,896 those players on the field 253 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:54,896 and it's over a lot faster. 254 00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:58,900 But I don't know 255 00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:58,900 the first thing about 256 00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:58,900 seducing a woman. 257 00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:02,154 What do you... How do you... 258 00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:02,154 Where do you... 259 00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:04,572 Stop. Don't overthink it. 260 00:06:04,572 --> 00:06:05,615 You don't want to 261 00:06:04,572 --> 00:06:05,615 get the yips. 262 00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:07,117 The yips? 263 00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:09,869 Yeah, when you overthink 264 00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:09,869 simple things so much 265 00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:11,537 that you can't do 266 00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:11,537 them at all. 267 00:06:11,537 --> 00:06:12,956 The yips! 268 00:06:12,956 --> 00:06:14,916 Yeah, it happens 269 00:06:12,956 --> 00:06:14,916 to athletes all the time. 270 00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:17,502 Like, the second baseman 271 00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:17,502 who suddenly 272 00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:17,502 can't throw to first, 273 00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:20,297 or the figure skater 274 00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:20,297 who does 275 00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:20,297 a perfect triple toe loop 276 00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:23,091 and then loses it 277 00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:23,091 on the arabesque. 278 00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:27,179 I've actually really been 279 00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:27,179 getting into 280 00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:27,179 figure skating lately. 281 00:06:27,179 --> 00:06:28,972 But, James. 282 00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:31,766 What woman's gonna want to 283 00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:31,766 have sex with me? 284 00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:34,144 It's not like 285 00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:34,144 I'm a Backstreet Boy. 286 00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:37,689 The Man Maker. 287 00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:40,400 Rhonda "Man Maker" 288 00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:40,400 French was our mom's friend 289 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,693 from down the street. 290 00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:43,028 Got any kings? 291 00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:45,071 Go fish. 292 00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:48,116 So, Patty, know that 293 00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:48,116 new paperboy? 294 00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:49,868 I let him throw one 295 00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:49,868 into my hedges, 296 00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:52,287 if you know what I mean. 297 00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:55,123 Did you see that new guy 298 00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:55,123 who cleans my pool? 299 00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:59,711 I let him snake my drain, 300 00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:59,711 if you know what I mean. 301 00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:04,090 You know that Chinese 302 00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:04,090 food delivery boy? 303 00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:04,090 I had sex with him. 304 00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,884 I don't have a funny way 305 00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,884 of saying it yet. 306 00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:08,303 It just happened 307 00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:08,303 20 minutes ago. 308 00:07:09,304 --> 00:07:11,056 Of course. 309 00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:12,932 The Man Maker. 310 00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:16,144 And it'll be easier, too, 311 00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:16,144 'cause she knows me 312 00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:16,144 so well. 313 00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:17,312 Hi, Barry. 314 00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:18,813 Barney. 315 00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:20,273 Hi, Ms. French. 316 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:21,900 I know we haven't 317 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:21,900 seen each other for a while, 318 00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:24,444 but if there was 319 00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:24,444 any chance... Oh, boy! 320 00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:30,825 Wow, you just 321 00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:30,825 rocked my world. 322 00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:34,037 That was the best sex 323 00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:34,037 I ever had. 324 00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:38,875 That was the night 325 00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:38,875 I was born. 326 00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:43,046 I rose like a phoenix 327 00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:43,046 from her mentholated bosom 328 00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:48,760 and strode into the world, 329 00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:48,760 Armani-clad 330 00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:48,760 and fully awesome. 331 00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:51,388 God, please let me stop! 332 00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:53,098 Yes, great, let's stop. 333 00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:55,767 Let's just kick back 334 00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:55,767 and wait for 335 00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:55,767 the massive coronary 336 00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:58,811 you're going to have 337 00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:58,811 a couple years from now, 338 00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:58,811 when you're 40. 339 00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:00,813 I'm 29. 340 00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:02,232 Fifty more! 341 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:04,943 Hi, sweetie. 342 00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:07,028 I got a trainer, too. 343 00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:07,028 This is Max. 344 00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:09,030 We're going to focus 345 00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:09,030 on flexibility. 346 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:11,157 Yeah, I'm gonna 347 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:11,157 stretch her out. 348 00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:13,576 Great. Wait, what? 349 00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:15,245 Fifty more. Now! 350 00:08:25,964 --> 00:08:27,090 Hey. 351 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:34,722 Okay. 352 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:34,722 Well, that's not cool. 353 00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:39,102 You know, Rhonda, 354 00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:41,813 running into you 355 00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:41,813 really got me thinking 356 00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:41,813 about the old days. 357 00:08:41,813 --> 00:08:43,648 You were quite popular. 358 00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:46,067 I sure got around 359 00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:46,067 back then. 360 00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:51,656 And there was one young man 361 00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:51,656 who stood out above the pack. 362 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:55,785 Freddy Shiba Tony, 363 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:55,785 that kid had a tongue 364 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:55,785 like a gecko. 365 00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:59,164 No, no, I was thinking 366 00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:59,164 about someone else. 367 00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:02,917 Chaz Alderman. 368 00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:02,917 Hips like a woman, 369 00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:02,917 but he knew how to use them. 370 00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:04,710 What about me? 371 00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:05,795 You? 372 00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:08,131 Yes, we slept together. 373 00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:10,633 And you said I was the best 374 00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:10,633 you ever had. 375 00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:11,759 Did I? 376 00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:15,138 Right. 377 00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:16,639 About that... 378 00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:19,684 And tell him 379 00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:19,684 that he's the best 380 00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:19,684 you ever had. 381 00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:23,313 Oh, I don't know. 382 00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:23,313 He's just a kid. 383 00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:26,483 No, he isn't. 384 00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:26,483 He's 23 and he is 385 00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:26,483 really hurting, Rhonda. 386 00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:28,401 Please. 387 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,487 Maybe we could 388 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,487 make a deal. 389 00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:31,737 What? 390 00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:41,414 No, girl, I got a girlfriend. 391 00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:41,414 Yeah, hers is 392 00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:41,414 the only vagina for me. 393 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:45,001 Oh, I love it. 394 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:45,001 It isn't scary at all. 395 00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:51,049 Well, too bad. 396 00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:51,049 I guess your brother's 397 00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:51,049 going to stay a virgin. 398 00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:57,638 Fine. 399 00:09:57,638 --> 00:10:00,392 Reggie Jackson, 400 00:09:57,638 --> 00:10:00,392 Reggie Jackson, 401 00:09:57,638 --> 00:10:00,392 Reggie Jackson. 402 00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:02,852 But those compliments 403 00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:02,852 you gave me. 404 00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:05,855 Wow, you just 405 00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:05,855 rocked my world. 406 00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:08,608 That was the best sex 407 00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:08,608 I ever had. 408 00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:13,654 But you said 409 00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:13,654 I rocked your world. 410 00:10:13,654 --> 00:10:16,032 All subsequent worlds 411 00:10:13,654 --> 00:10:16,032 that I rocked 412 00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:18,659 were only so rocked 413 00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:18,659 because of the confidence 414 00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:18,659 I earned 415 00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:20,745 from said 416 00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:20,745 first world-rocking. 417 00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:23,706 Sorry, Barry. 418 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,000 It's Barney. 419 00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:31,714 So I'm doing sit-ups, 420 00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:34,217 and she says, 421 00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:34,217 "All right, Marshall, 422 00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:34,217 just one more set." 423 00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:37,053 So I summon all my strength 424 00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:37,053 and I do that set, 425 00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:39,598 and then she says, 426 00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:39,598 "Give me another set." 427 00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:42,392 So, I'm like, 428 00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:42,392 "Is this the last set?" 429 00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:42,392 And she says, "Yes." 430 00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:45,061 So I do that set, 431 00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:45,061 and then she says, 432 00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:45,061 "Give me another set." 433 00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:49,274 She lied to my face! 434 00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:49,274 Everything hurts. 435 00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:52,777 Baby, the whole point 436 00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:52,777 of working out 437 00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:52,777 is to feel better. 438 00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:54,529 This trainer is 439 00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:54,529 making you miserable. 440 00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:56,573 You have to 441 00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:56,573 call her and quit. 442 00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:58,824 I gotta work through it. 443 00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:58,824 I gotta finish 444 00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:58,824 what I started. 445 00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:00,159 If you're too scared, 446 00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:00,159 I can call her. 447 00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:02,495 Her number's on this card. 448 00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:06,332 Hi. Is this Trish? 449 00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:07,917 This is Marshall's wife. 450 00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:11,463 Listen, we have 451 00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:11,463 a problem here, 452 00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:11,463 and it's you. 453 00:11:11,463 --> 00:11:13,923 I don't know 454 00:11:11,463 --> 00:11:13,923 who the hell you think 455 00:11:11,463 --> 00:11:13,923 you are, 456 00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:17,385 but from now on, 457 00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:17,385 you don't tell Marshall 458 00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:17,385 what to do. 459 00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:20,846 You are an employee. 460 00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:20,846 We tell you what to do. 461 00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:24,809 And I'm telling you, 462 00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:24,809 you're fired, bitch. 463 00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:27,437 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 464 00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:29,522 Okay, bye. 465 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:32,609 You better 466 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:32,609 get down there, baby. 467 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:32,609 She's pretty pissed. 468 00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:35,487 Hey, buddy. 469 00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:35,487 Still bummed about 470 00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:35,487 the whole Rhonda thing? 471 00:11:35,487 --> 00:11:39,782 No. Why would I let 472 00:11:35,487 --> 00:11:39,782 the approval of one woman 473 00:11:35,487 --> 00:11:39,782 define who I am... 474 00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:40,992 That's very mature 475 00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:40,992 of you, Barney. 476 00:11:40,992 --> 00:11:42,785 Let him finish. 477 00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:45,538 when I can let 478 00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:45,538 the approval of a gaggle 479 00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:45,538 of supermodels 480 00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,915 define who I am. 481 00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,915 What? What? 482 00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:49,834 Three tickets to 483 00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:49,834 the after-party 484 00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:52,462 of the Victoria's Secret 485 00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:52,462 fashion show? 486 00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:56,549 Lily, could I go? 487 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:59,218 Go. You're too sore 488 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:59,218 to do anything, anyway. 489 00:12:10,771 --> 00:12:15,193 Okay. This, boys, is not 490 00:12:10,771 --> 00:12:15,193 a regular season game. 491 00:12:15,193 --> 00:12:17,945 This is the World Series. 492 00:12:17,945 --> 00:12:21,700 So, remember, 493 00:12:17,945 --> 00:12:21,700 we work together. 494 00:12:17,945 --> 00:12:21,700 We're a team. 495 00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:24,243 And if anyone 496 00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:24,243 sees Heidi Klum, dibs. 497 00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:28,164 Target acquired. 498 00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:28,164 Dig deep. 499 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:31,959 Excuse me. 500 00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:34,546 Hey, it's a nice party, 501 00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:34,546 huh? 502 00:12:34,546 --> 00:12:35,963 Yeah, it's great. 503 00:12:35,963 --> 00:12:37,965 Do you guys 504 00:12:35,963 --> 00:12:37,965 work for the company? 505 00:12:37,965 --> 00:12:39,759 Yeah, it's called 506 00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:42,637 "I'm Gonna Get 507 00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:42,637 in Your Panties Incorporated." 508 00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:44,764 Gross! 509 00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:49,143 Dude! 510 00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:52,605 I don't know. 511 00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:52,605 That was terrible. 512 00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:52,605 I am so sorry. 513 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:55,191 Wait a minute, it's okay. 514 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:55,191 It's okay. It's fine. 515 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:55,191 It's a numbers game. I'm cool. 516 00:12:56,108 --> 00:12:58,277 Model... Model. 517 00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:00,613 Hi. 518 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,741 I know, right? 519 00:13:02,741 --> 00:13:06,536 This party is legen... 520 00:13:02,741 --> 00:13:06,536 Wait for it... 521 00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:14,085 How long do we 522 00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:14,085 have to wait for it? 523 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,963 I think 524 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,963 he's having a stroke. 525 00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:21,842 What is the matter 526 00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:21,842 with me? 527 00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:23,511 I don't know. 528 00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:25,680 Wait, wait, wait. 529 00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:25,680 You don't think I have 530 00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:25,680 the yips, do you? 531 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:29,308 No, no, no, relax. 532 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:29,308 There's 533 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:29,308 Alessandra Ambrosio. 534 00:13:29,308 --> 00:13:30,727 English is 535 00:13:29,308 --> 00:13:30,727 her second language. 536 00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:33,813 Even if you screw up, 537 00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:33,813 she'll never know. 538 00:13:34,773 --> 00:13:35,856 Hi. 539 00:13:35,856 --> 00:13:37,817 Hi. 540 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:40,570 Those are 541 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:40,570 very nice honkers. 542 00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:44,907 Honkers? I don't know 543 00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:44,907 this word. 544 00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:46,867 Do you want to 545 00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:46,867 go dance? 546 00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:48,494 I'm talking about 547 00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:48,494 those things. 548 00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:58,963 Oh, no, I can't have the yips. 549 00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:58,963 I can't have the yips. 550 00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:58,963 Not here. Not now. 551 00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:02,258 This is me. 552 00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:02,258 It's Barney, Barney! 553 00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:06,178 Heidi Klum! This is perfect. 554 00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:06,178 I can do this. 555 00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:06,178 I can do this. 556 00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:08,640 Thanks for coming. 557 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:10,891 Thanks for coming. 558 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:10,891 Heidi Klum, I'm Barney. 559 00:14:10,891 --> 00:14:13,018 Hi, Barney. 560 00:14:10,891 --> 00:14:13,018 Nice to meet you. 561 00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:21,277 Is he okay? 562 00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:23,780 He has the yips. 563 00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:23,780 Hasn't been able to 564 00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:23,780 hit on a woman all night. 565 00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:27,867 He has the yips? 566 00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:27,867 That's bad. 567 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,118 You know in Germany, 568 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,118 we call this... 569 00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:33,790 That is bad. 570 00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,040 I don't know 571 00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,040 what's happened to me. 572 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:38,919 I've totally 573 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:38,919 lost my confidence. 574 00:14:38,919 --> 00:14:41,714 Barney, maybe you have to 575 00:14:38,919 --> 00:14:41,714 open up to somebody. 576 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:44,843 Maybe you have to 577 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:44,843 open up to some... 578 00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:47,303 He just found out 579 00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:47,303 that the woman 580 00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:47,303 he lost his virginity to 581 00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:49,013 only did it 582 00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:49,013 because his brother 583 00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:49,013 bribed her. 584 00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:52,016 That's a rough one. 585 00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:55,060 I mean, the only thing 586 00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:55,060 I can think of 587 00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:55,060 to get rid of... 588 00:14:57,772 --> 00:15:00,817 is, you have to 589 00:14:57,772 --> 00:15:00,817 go out there, 590 00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:02,943 and you need to 591 00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:02,943 find that woman, 592 00:15:02,943 --> 00:15:05,822 and you need to earn it 593 00:15:02,943 --> 00:15:05,822 with her for real. 594 00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:09,074 That is the only way 595 00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:09,074 how you can find yourself. 596 00:15:11,536 --> 00:15:16,374 I see little hamburgers! 597 00:15:11,536 --> 00:15:16,374 I love little hamburgers. 598 00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:22,129 I just made out 599 00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:22,129 with Heidi Klum. 600 00:15:22,129 --> 00:15:23,214 What? 601 00:15:24,131 --> 00:15:26,967 Ted, just... Okay? 602 00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:31,890 Come in. 603 00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:34,642 Hi, Rhonda. 604 00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:37,061 Hi, kiddo. 605 00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:37,061 Surprised to see you here. 606 00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:42,316 So... Hey... Maybe... 607 00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:42,316 How about... Sex? 608 00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:44,026 Let's sex. 609 00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:46,821 What are you talking about? 610 00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:46,821 I'm watching 611 00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:46,821 Wheel of Fortune. 612 00:15:46,821 --> 00:15:50,408 You can keep watching. 613 00:15:46,821 --> 00:15:50,408 I'll face you toward the TV. 614 00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:52,577 That's a cute idea, kid. 615 00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:52,577 Great. 616 00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:54,746 No, I'm not having sex 617 00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:54,746 with you. 618 00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:57,623 Sit down a minute. 619 00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:57,623 I'm not the "Man Maker" 620 00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:57,623 anymore. 621 00:15:58,583 --> 00:15:59,959 You know what? 622 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,753 About five years ago, 623 00:16:01,753 --> 00:16:04,964 I realized 624 00:16:01,753 --> 00:16:04,964 there was an emptiness 625 00:16:01,753 --> 00:16:04,964 inside of me 626 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:07,508 that no amount 627 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:07,508 of meaningless sex 628 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:07,508 could fill. 629 00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:09,635 I needed something more. 630 00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:12,889 And that's when I discovered 631 00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:12,889 Indian casinos. 632 00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:18,310 Hey, Barney. 633 00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:21,606 It's weird 634 00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:21,606 not seeing you in a suit. 635 00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:21,606 What's going on? 636 00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:23,566 Not much. 637 00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:28,028 My entire sexual history 638 00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:28,028 was built on 639 00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:28,028 a rotting foundation of lies. 640 00:16:28,028 --> 00:16:31,991 My whole identity is lost 641 00:16:28,028 --> 00:16:31,991 in a pit of menthol ashes. 642 00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:34,493 Work is good. 643 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,959 I'm never going back 644 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,959 to that gym again. 645 00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:45,504 Today at work, 646 00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:45,504 I had to have an intern 647 00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:45,504 rip up my bagel 648 00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:47,172 and put little pieces 649 00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:47,172 in my mouth. 650 00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:51,385 Yeah, I'm done there, too. 651 00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:51,385 That place is horrible. 652 00:16:51,385 --> 00:16:53,554 What about 653 00:16:51,385 --> 00:16:53,554 your big, muscular trainer 654 00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:56,557 who's so into 655 00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:56,557 stretching you out? 656 00:16:56,557 --> 00:17:00,853 Yeah, well, turns out 657 00:16:56,557 --> 00:17:00,853 that guy had no affiliation 658 00:16:56,557 --> 00:17:00,853 with the gym whatsoever. 659 00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:06,317 Come on, guys. 660 00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:06,317 Don't give up on the gym. 661 00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:06,317 It's been great for us. 662 00:17:06,317 --> 00:17:10,029 Like today, 663 00:17:06,317 --> 00:17:10,029 Robin and I had 664 00:17:06,317 --> 00:17:10,029 a really nice moment. 665 00:17:23,835 --> 00:17:29,089 Robin. Hey, I just wanted 666 00:17:23,835 --> 00:17:29,089 to come over and thank you. 667 00:17:29,089 --> 00:17:31,091 Thank me for what? 668 00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:33,344 Well, you know 669 00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:33,344 how it's hard 670 00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:33,344 for exes to be friends, 671 00:17:33,344 --> 00:17:37,473 because there's this 672 00:17:33,344 --> 00:17:37,473 lingering sexual tension 673 00:17:33,344 --> 00:17:37,473 between them? 674 00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:39,600 Gone. Thank you. 675 00:17:42,020 --> 00:17:43,688 You know, 676 00:17:42,020 --> 00:17:43,688 for all the crap 677 00:17:42,020 --> 00:17:43,688 you've given me, 678 00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:45,523 I haven't seen you 679 00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:45,523 work up a sweat there once. 680 00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:46,899 That's not true. 681 00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:46,899 I was there today. 682 00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,233 Yeah, but didn't 683 00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,233 you leave early? 684 00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:58,536 Oh, great. 685 00:17:58,536 --> 00:18:01,121 Now I gotta go home 686 00:17:58,536 --> 00:18:01,121 and charge this. 687 00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:05,668 Wait a minute. 688 00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:05,668 You didn't work out 689 00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:05,668 Tuesday, either. 690 00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,921 Brought the wrong shorts. 691 00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:13,592 Yeah, and you totally 692 00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:13,592 disappeared on Monday, too. 693 00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:16,470 No, I was at the gym 694 00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:16,470 the whole time. 695 00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:19,891 Oh, I love this gym. 696 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,520 Lily, help me bend down 697 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,520 these three fingers. 698 00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:27,815 Actually, 699 00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:27,815 I have an idea. 700 00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:31,360 Do it! Come on! 701 00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:31,360 Do it, you 702 00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:31,360 worthless piece of crap! 703 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,445 Please! Please, 704 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,445 I just want to go home. 705 00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:36,741 Come on. 706 00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:36,741 This is your last set! 707 00:18:36,741 --> 00:18:39,201 You said that last time! 708 00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,497 Gone. 709 00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:51,047 Hey! 710 00:18:51,047 --> 00:18:52,798 Rhonda. 711 00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:55,551 I saw your friend Ted 712 00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:55,551 at the gym. 713 00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:59,430 After he puked 714 00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:59,430 and cleared the line 715 00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:59,430 at the smoothie bar, 716 00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:03,392 he said you were 717 00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:03,392 kind of 718 00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:03,392 having a tough time. 719 00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:07,354 Did you change your mind 720 00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:07,354 about having love, 721 00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:07,354 making sex, 722 00:19:07,354 --> 00:19:09,648 penis, vagina. 723 00:19:07,354 --> 00:19:09,648 What is the matter with me? 724 00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:12,651 Oh, honey... 725 00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:12,651 I just, I don't get it. 726 00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:15,487 You slept with so many guys. 727 00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:15,487 You slept with my brother. 728 00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:19,742 We are practically 729 00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:19,742 the same person. 730 00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:19,742 Was I really so bad? 731 00:19:20,952 --> 00:19:22,661 Nobody's good 732 00:19:20,952 --> 00:19:22,661 the first time. 733 00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:24,413 But I was. 734 00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:27,792 At least, 735 00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:27,792 I thought I was. 736 00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:32,337 Barney, you know what? 737 00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:32,337 Sex isn't everything. 738 00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:34,966 When is the last time 739 00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:34,966 you had a conversation 740 00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:34,966 with a woman 741 00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:37,718 with no intention 742 00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:37,718 of scoring with her? 743 00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:43,141 I sat next to 744 00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:43,141 former Secretary of State, 745 00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:43,141 Madeleine Albright, 746 00:19:43,141 --> 00:19:44,934 at a benefit once. 747 00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:47,645 I certainly didn't 748 00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:47,645 intend to hit that. 749 00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:51,607 Yeah, well, 750 00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:51,607 I'll tell you what, 751 00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:55,319 sleeping with me again 752 00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:55,319 isn't gonna solve anything. 753 00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:57,488 I don't know 754 00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:57,488 what else is. 755 00:19:59,531 --> 00:20:01,159 I think I know. 756 00:20:01,159 --> 00:20:03,786 Do you have any kings? 757 00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:06,330 No, go fish. 758 00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:09,875 See, Barney, 759 00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:09,875 isn't it nice to just sit 760 00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:12,670 and have an evening 761 00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:12,670 with a woman, no agenda? 762 00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:15,006 Just make nice conversation? 763 00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:17,716 No. 764 00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:19,969 Yeah, kind of sucks, 765 00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:19,969 doesn't it? 766 00:20:19,969 --> 00:20:25,808 Oh, my God, Barney, 767 00:20:19,969 --> 00:20:25,808 you really did 768 00:20:19,969 --> 00:20:25,808 just rock my world. 769 00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:29,895 That was amazing. 770 00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:29,895 And I'm not lying. 771 00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:31,981 I know you're not 772 00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:31,981 lying, baby. 773 00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:34,650 And it was good for you? 774 00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:36,944 It was the best sex 775 00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:36,944 I've ever had. 776 00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:40,114 Later. 777 00:20:43,701 --> 00:20:45,161 Daddy's back. 778 00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:50,166 Hey, buddy, 779 00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:50,166 how's it going? 780 00:20:50,166 --> 00:20:51,625 Hey! Pretty good. 781 00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:53,418 Pretty good. 782 00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:56,130 I can move my legs now, 783 00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:56,130 and I can lift my arms 784 00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:58,757 this high. 785 00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:01,593 Yeah, you know, 786 00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:01,593 I feel like I have 787 00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:01,593 more energy. 788 00:21:01,593 --> 00:21:03,345 Yeah. 789 00:21:01,593 --> 00:21:03,345 It was hard at first, 790 00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:06,515 but now if I go a day 791 00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:06,515 without working out, 792 00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:06,515 I miss it. 793 00:21:06,515 --> 00:21:08,226 I'm proud of us, guys. 794 00:21:08,226 --> 00:21:10,435 But the first week 795 00:21:08,226 --> 00:21:10,435 is the hardest. 796 00:21:08,226 --> 00:21:10,435 We're over the hump. 797 00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:13,397 Joining that gym was 798 00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:13,397 the best decision 799 00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:13,397 we ever made. 800 00:21:13,397 --> 00:21:15,941 And we never went back 801 00:21:13,397 --> 00:21:15,941 to the gym again.