1 00:00:02,118 --> 00:00:04,120 Kids, sometimes in life, 2 00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:07,082 you see someone 3 00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:07,082 and you just instantly know, 4 00:00:07,082 --> 00:00:09,209 this is the person for you. 5 00:00:09,209 --> 00:00:10,961 It can happen anywhere. 6 00:00:10,961 --> 00:00:14,005 Even the waiting room 7 00:00:10,961 --> 00:00:14,005 of a tattoo-removal clinic. 8 00:00:14,005 --> 00:00:16,508 And that's what happened 9 00:00:14,005 --> 00:00:16,508 when I met 10 00:00:16,508 --> 00:00:18,093 Stella. 11 00:00:22,514 --> 00:00:26,810 Ah. The butterfly 12 00:00:22,514 --> 00:00:26,810 tramp-stamp. 13 00:00:22,514 --> 00:00:26,810 My bread and butter. 14 00:00:26,810 --> 00:00:29,897 So I'm guessing that 15 00:00:26,810 --> 00:00:29,897 the real story involves 16 00:00:26,810 --> 00:00:29,897 a bad breakup and some booze. 17 00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:31,356 Unless 18 00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:31,356 it's a gang tattoo, 19 00:00:31,356 --> 00:00:33,984 in which case, 20 00:00:31,356 --> 00:00:33,984 I think it's time 21 00:00:31,356 --> 00:00:33,984 to find a new gang. 22 00:00:33,984 --> 00:00:36,278 No, I just thought 23 00:00:33,984 --> 00:00:36,278 it'd be cool to get 24 00:00:33,984 --> 00:00:36,278 a caterpillar tattoo, 25 00:00:36,278 --> 00:00:38,405 and then 26 00:00:36,278 --> 00:00:38,405 a few weeks went by 27 00:00:36,278 --> 00:00:38,405 and all of a sudden... 28 00:00:40,031 --> 00:00:42,242 Well, I can get rid of it 29 00:00:40,031 --> 00:00:42,242 in 10 one-hour sessions, 30 00:00:42,242 --> 00:00:45,036 but I should warn you, 31 00:00:42,242 --> 00:00:45,036 laser surgery's 32 00:00:42,242 --> 00:00:45,036 very painful. 33 00:00:45,036 --> 00:00:47,915 Well, I think you'll find 34 00:00:45,036 --> 00:00:47,915 I have a very high 35 00:00:45,036 --> 00:00:47,915 tolerance for pain. 36 00:00:47,915 --> 00:00:50,459 Just last night, 37 00:00:47,915 --> 00:00:50,459 I sat through the worst 38 00:00:47,915 --> 00:00:50,459 movie ever made. 39 00:00:50,459 --> 00:00:52,252 Oh, Plan 9 40 00:00:50,459 --> 00:00:52,252 from Outer Space? 41 00:00:52,252 --> 00:00:56,465 No, the worst movie, 42 00:00:52,252 --> 00:00:56,465 Hands of Fate. 43 00:00:56,465 --> 00:00:59,009 I'm a doctor, 44 00:00:56,465 --> 00:00:59,009 went to medical school. 45 00:00:56,465 --> 00:00:59,009 It's Plan 9. 46 00:00:59,009 --> 00:01:01,011 If you don't believe me, 47 00:00:59,009 --> 00:01:01,011 it's playing down 48 00:00:59,009 --> 00:01:01,011 at the Pamela Theater. 49 00:01:01,011 --> 00:01:03,513 I don't 50 00:01:01,011 --> 00:01:03,513 believe you, Doctor. 51 00:01:03,513 --> 00:01:06,141 Well, what are you 52 00:01:03,513 --> 00:01:06,141 doing tonight? 53 00:01:08,226 --> 00:01:09,311 Hello. Hey. 54 00:01:09,311 --> 00:01:11,187 Hey, Ted. 55 00:01:11,187 --> 00:01:13,189 Hey, put that away. 56 00:01:11,187 --> 00:01:13,189 Tonight's on me. 57 00:01:13,189 --> 00:01:14,274 Oh, no, no, don't... 58 00:01:14,274 --> 00:01:15,818 Oh, come on, 59 00:01:14,274 --> 00:01:15,818 I insist. 60 00:01:15,818 --> 00:01:17,653 That's so nice. 61 00:01:15,818 --> 00:01:17,653 Thank you. 62 00:01:17,653 --> 00:01:20,322 Hey, guys, this is 63 00:01:17,653 --> 00:01:20,322 my friend Ted. 64 00:01:17,653 --> 00:01:20,322 He wants to pay. 65 00:01:20,322 --> 00:01:22,365 Oh, wow. 66 00:01:20,322 --> 00:01:22,365 Thank you. 67 00:01:22,365 --> 00:01:24,952 One, two, three, four. 68 00:01:28,747 --> 00:01:30,248 Is something wrong? 69 00:01:30,248 --> 00:01:32,626 No, it's just... 70 00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:36,129 I'm just a little embarrassed. 71 00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:36,129 I thought this was a date. 72 00:01:36,129 --> 00:01:40,009 But it's no big deal. 73 00:01:36,129 --> 00:01:40,009 Don't worry about it. 74 00:01:40,009 --> 00:01:41,510 What's wrong? 75 00:01:41,510 --> 00:01:44,847 Ted's embarrassed. 76 00:01:41,510 --> 00:01:44,847 He thought 77 00:01:41,510 --> 00:01:44,847 this was a date. 78 00:01:44,847 --> 00:01:46,515 Ted thought 79 00:01:44,847 --> 00:01:46,515 this was a date. 80 00:01:46,515 --> 00:01:49,100 Stella, did you know Ted 81 00:01:46,515 --> 00:01:49,100 thought this was a date? 82 00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:52,103 What? I'm not allowed 83 00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:52,103 to date a patient. 84 00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:52,103 It's an AMA rule. 85 00:01:52,103 --> 00:01:54,731 She's not allowed 86 00:01:52,103 --> 00:01:54,731 to date patients. 87 00:01:52,103 --> 00:01:54,731 It's an AMA rule. 88 00:01:54,731 --> 00:01:57,150 She's not allowed 89 00:01:54,731 --> 00:01:57,150 to date patients. 90 00:01:54,731 --> 00:01:57,150 It's an AMA rule. 91 00:01:57,150 --> 00:01:58,234 She's not allowed 92 00:01:57,150 --> 00:01:58,234 to date... 93 00:01:58,234 --> 00:01:59,486 Yeah, I got it. 94 00:01:59,486 --> 00:02:01,947 We all got it. 95 00:01:59,486 --> 00:02:01,947 Ted's a schmuck. 96 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:20,049 And you bought 97 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:20,049 all the tickets. 98 00:02:20,049 --> 00:02:21,675 Yeah, yeah. 99 00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:23,927 Hey, you were right. 100 00:02:23,927 --> 00:02:26,889 Worst movie-going 101 00:02:23,927 --> 00:02:26,889 experience ever. 102 00:02:26,889 --> 00:02:29,099 Of course, it had 103 00:02:26,889 --> 00:02:29,099 nothing to do 104 00:02:26,889 --> 00:02:29,099 with the movie. 105 00:02:29,099 --> 00:02:31,226 I am so sorry 106 00:02:29,099 --> 00:02:31,226 that you thought 107 00:02:29,099 --> 00:02:31,226 that was a date. 108 00:02:31,226 --> 00:02:35,022 No, it's fine. 109 00:02:31,226 --> 00:02:35,022 I got to hang out with you 110 00:02:31,226 --> 00:02:35,022 on girls' night out. 111 00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:37,733 All right, so if you're 112 00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:37,733 not allowed to date 113 00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:37,733 a patient, I'll just... 114 00:02:37,733 --> 00:02:41,070 I'll wait until these 115 00:02:37,733 --> 00:02:41,070 10 sessions are up and then 116 00:02:37,733 --> 00:02:41,070 I'll ask you out then. 117 00:02:41,070 --> 00:02:43,697 Well, then, 118 00:02:41,070 --> 00:02:43,697 fair warning. 119 00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:45,448 I'm going to say no. 120 00:02:45,448 --> 00:02:47,659 Really? 121 00:02:45,448 --> 00:02:47,659 I'm getting mixed signals 122 00:02:45,448 --> 00:02:47,659 from you. 123 00:02:47,659 --> 00:02:51,162 I feel like you've been 124 00:02:47,659 --> 00:02:51,162 staring at my ass 125 00:02:47,659 --> 00:02:51,162 for quite some time. 126 00:02:51,162 --> 00:02:52,748 What, you're married? 127 00:02:51,162 --> 00:02:52,748 No. 128 00:02:52,748 --> 00:02:53,832 Boyfriend? 129 00:02:52,748 --> 00:02:53,832 No. 130 00:02:53,832 --> 00:02:55,084 Lesbian? 131 00:02:53,832 --> 00:02:55,084 No. 132 00:02:55,084 --> 00:02:57,586 Only date black guys? 133 00:02:55,084 --> 00:02:57,586 No. 134 00:02:57,586 --> 00:03:00,380 And yet you can say 135 00:02:57,586 --> 00:03:00,380 with absolute confidence 136 00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:03,216 that 10 weeks from now, 137 00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:03,216 if I ask you out on a date, 138 00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:04,551 your answer will be... 139 00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:06,011 No. 140 00:03:06,011 --> 00:03:08,722 No. Hmm. 141 00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:12,684 What could she mean 142 00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:12,684 when she says no? 143 00:03:12,684 --> 00:03:15,645 Well, I don't know, 144 00:03:12,684 --> 00:03:15,645 it is totally cryptic. 145 00:03:15,645 --> 00:03:18,690 This is far from over. 146 00:03:15,645 --> 00:03:18,690 We're talking 147 00:03:15,645 --> 00:03:18,690 10 weeks from now. 148 00:03:18,690 --> 00:03:20,525 Who knows 149 00:03:18,690 --> 00:03:20,525 what she'll want then? 150 00:03:20,525 --> 00:03:22,527 Do you know what you're 151 00:03:20,525 --> 00:03:22,527 gonna want for lunch 152 00:03:20,525 --> 00:03:22,527 10 weeks from now? 153 00:03:22,527 --> 00:03:25,906 Sloppy Joe, shrimp cocktail 154 00:03:22,527 --> 00:03:25,906 and a milkshake. 155 00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:27,783 Ted, do you know 156 00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:27,783 how long 157 00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:27,783 it takes a woman 158 00:03:27,783 --> 00:03:29,409 to decide whether 159 00:03:27,783 --> 00:03:29,409 or not she's gonna 160 00:03:27,783 --> 00:03:29,409 sleep with a guy? 161 00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:31,995 8.3 seconds. 162 00:03:31,995 --> 00:03:33,329 After that, 163 00:03:31,995 --> 00:03:33,329 her decision is made. 164 00:03:33,329 --> 00:03:34,414 She will not 165 00:03:33,329 --> 00:03:34,414 change her mind. 166 00:03:34,414 --> 00:03:36,125 That's ridiculous. 167 00:03:36,125 --> 00:03:40,211 Is it? Describe 168 00:03:36,125 --> 00:03:40,211 your first 8.3 seconds 169 00:03:36,125 --> 00:03:40,211 with Stella. 170 00:03:40,211 --> 00:03:43,173 Lower back 171 00:03:40,211 --> 00:03:43,173 butterfly tattoo, 172 00:03:40,211 --> 00:03:43,173 you're up. 173 00:03:48,011 --> 00:03:49,805 So we got off 174 00:03:48,011 --> 00:03:49,805 to a rocky start. 175 00:03:49,805 --> 00:03:51,598 That may be a problem 176 00:03:49,805 --> 00:03:51,598 for some guys, 177 00:03:51,598 --> 00:03:53,600 but I get better 178 00:03:51,598 --> 00:03:53,600 over time. Right? 179 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:57,270 I'm not some top 40 song, 180 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:57,270 easily digestible. 181 00:03:57,270 --> 00:04:03,276 I'm complex. I require time 182 00:03:57,270 --> 00:04:03,276 and multiple listens. 183 00:03:57,270 --> 00:04:03,276 I'm Stairway to Heaven. 184 00:04:03,276 --> 00:04:07,197 Wow, Roger Daltrey just 185 00:04:03,276 --> 00:04:07,197 rolled over in his grave. 186 00:04:09,699 --> 00:04:12,285 That's not 187 00:04:09,699 --> 00:04:12,285 the right guy, is it? 188 00:04:12,285 --> 00:04:14,704 He's not 189 00:04:12,285 --> 00:04:14,704 even dead, is he? 190 00:04:14,704 --> 00:04:16,623 I think 191 00:04:14,704 --> 00:04:16,623 that's great, Ted. 192 00:04:16,623 --> 00:04:18,541 You can do 193 00:04:16,623 --> 00:04:18,541 whatever you set 194 00:04:16,623 --> 00:04:18,541 your mind to. 195 00:04:18,541 --> 00:04:21,003 In fact, 196 00:04:18,541 --> 00:04:21,003 you've inspired me. 197 00:04:21,003 --> 00:04:23,130 I'm going to stop 198 00:04:21,003 --> 00:04:23,130 biting my nails. 199 00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:24,506 But, baby, you love 200 00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:24,506 biting your nails. 201 00:04:24,506 --> 00:04:27,134 I know, 202 00:04:24,506 --> 00:04:27,134 but I'm doing this 203 00:04:24,506 --> 00:04:27,134 for Ted. 204 00:04:29,302 --> 00:04:32,305 God, this is 205 00:04:29,302 --> 00:04:32,305 really hard. 206 00:04:32,305 --> 00:04:35,225 Give me 10 sessions, 207 00:04:32,305 --> 00:04:35,225 I'm going to turn 208 00:04:32,305 --> 00:04:35,225 that "no" into a "yes." 209 00:04:35,225 --> 00:04:37,435 Really, Ted? 210 00:04:35,225 --> 00:04:37,435 You think so? 211 00:04:37,435 --> 00:04:40,563 Well, tell me, 212 00:04:37,435 --> 00:04:40,563 how did the rest of 213 00:04:37,435 --> 00:04:40,563 that session go? 214 00:04:40,563 --> 00:04:42,357 This is going to 215 00:04:40,563 --> 00:04:42,357 hurt a little. 216 00:04:42,357 --> 00:04:44,567 Yeah, well, 217 00:04:42,357 --> 00:04:44,567 I can handle pain. 218 00:04:44,567 --> 00:04:46,361 This one time 219 00:04:44,567 --> 00:04:46,361 I was playing tennis, 220 00:04:44,567 --> 00:04:46,361 and... 221 00:04:51,407 --> 00:04:54,953 Yeah, but tattoo removal 222 00:04:51,407 --> 00:04:54,953 really hurts. 223 00:04:54,953 --> 00:04:57,164 Everyone probably 224 00:04:54,953 --> 00:04:57,164 sounds like that. 225 00:04:57,164 --> 00:05:00,542 Doctor, are you all right? 226 00:04:57,164 --> 00:05:00,542 I heard a woman 227 00:04:57,164 --> 00:05:00,542 screaming in here. 228 00:05:00,542 --> 00:05:01,960 Oh. 229 00:05:08,550 --> 00:05:11,178 Here's to nine more 230 00:05:08,550 --> 00:05:11,178 great sessions. 231 00:05:15,557 --> 00:05:17,475 And so the weeks went by. 232 00:05:17,475 --> 00:05:19,895 The second session, I told her 233 00:05:17,475 --> 00:05:19,895 about how I spent a summer 234 00:05:19,895 --> 00:05:22,105 working with inner-city kids. 235 00:05:22,105 --> 00:05:26,193 The third session, 236 00:05:22,105 --> 00:05:26,193 we both spoke 237 00:05:22,105 --> 00:05:26,193 nothing but French. 238 00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:30,072 The fourth session, 239 00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:30,072 I made her laugh so hard, 240 00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:30,072 she fell out of her chair. 241 00:05:31,781 --> 00:05:34,576 So by the time the fifth 242 00:05:31,781 --> 00:05:34,576 session came around... 243 00:05:34,576 --> 00:05:37,037 Still no. 244 00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:40,999 Still no. 245 00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:40,999 What's up with that? 246 00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:40,999 I mean, I juggled. 247 00:05:40,999 --> 00:05:42,709 You juggled? 248 00:05:42,709 --> 00:05:44,753 I thought you were 249 00:05:42,709 --> 00:05:44,753 trying to impress her. 250 00:05:44,753 --> 00:05:47,839 You do magic. 251 00:05:44,753 --> 00:05:47,839 How is juggling 252 00:05:44,753 --> 00:05:47,839 any lamer than magic? 253 00:05:47,839 --> 00:05:49,340 Magic's not lame. 254 00:05:49,340 --> 00:05:50,466 I don't get it. 255 00:05:49,340 --> 00:05:50,466 I mean... 256 00:05:50,466 --> 00:05:52,761 Is this lame? 257 00:05:52,761 --> 00:05:54,846 Oh, Barney, no, no. 258 00:05:54,846 --> 00:05:56,932 We said no fireballs 259 00:05:54,846 --> 00:05:56,932 at the table. 260 00:05:56,932 --> 00:05:58,641 What the hell 261 00:05:56,932 --> 00:05:58,641 is wrong with you? 262 00:05:58,641 --> 00:05:59,976 There's alcohol in here. 263 00:05:59,976 --> 00:06:02,271 Barney. We've talked 264 00:05:59,976 --> 00:06:02,271 about this. 265 00:05:59,976 --> 00:06:02,271 I... 266 00:06:02,271 --> 00:06:03,396 It's a fire code 267 00:06:02,271 --> 00:06:03,396 violation. 268 00:06:03,396 --> 00:06:05,023 Yeah, but Ted 269 00:06:03,396 --> 00:06:05,023 provoked me. 270 00:06:05,023 --> 00:06:06,816 No, no, 271 00:06:05,023 --> 00:06:06,816 you are on a time-out. 272 00:06:06,816 --> 00:06:08,110 Go sit over there. 273 00:06:06,816 --> 00:06:08,110 Go! 274 00:06:08,110 --> 00:06:09,652 But... 275 00:06:11,988 --> 00:06:15,658 Anyway, I don't get it. 276 00:06:11,988 --> 00:06:15,658 I mean, she should 277 00:06:11,988 --> 00:06:15,658 be into me by now. 278 00:06:15,658 --> 00:06:17,410 You know, 279 00:06:15,658 --> 00:06:17,410 you can do this, Ted. 280 00:06:17,410 --> 00:06:18,828 I said I would stop 281 00:06:17,410 --> 00:06:18,828 biting my nails 282 00:06:18,828 --> 00:06:20,956 and kablamy. 283 00:06:20,956 --> 00:06:24,251 It's just a challenge. 284 00:06:20,956 --> 00:06:24,251 It can't be easy 285 00:06:20,956 --> 00:06:24,251 to woo someone 286 00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:26,836 while you're sticking 287 00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:26,836 your naked butt 288 00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:26,836 in their face. 289 00:06:26,836 --> 00:06:28,546 Works for baboons. 290 00:06:30,548 --> 00:06:33,343 It's called "presenting." 291 00:06:33,343 --> 00:06:34,761 I got four sessions left. 292 00:06:34,761 --> 00:06:36,763 There's got to be 293 00:06:34,761 --> 00:06:36,763 some angle I'm not seeing. 294 00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:40,058 You can't turn a "no" 295 00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:40,058 into a "yes," Ted. 296 00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:40,058 Can't be done. 297 00:06:40,058 --> 00:06:43,061 I don't know, Barney. 298 00:06:40,058 --> 00:06:43,061 I mean, sometimes 299 00:06:40,058 --> 00:06:43,061 persistence pays off. 300 00:06:43,061 --> 00:06:44,187 I said "yes" 301 00:06:43,061 --> 00:06:44,187 eventually. 302 00:06:44,187 --> 00:06:45,605 No, you didn't. 303 00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:47,774 You were like, 304 00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:47,774 "No, we can't, 305 00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:47,774 we're friends. 306 00:06:47,774 --> 00:06:48,942 "It would mess up 307 00:06:47,774 --> 00:06:48,942 the dynamic 308 00:06:47,774 --> 00:06:48,942 of the group." 309 00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:50,152 To Ted. 310 00:06:50,152 --> 00:06:51,653 Oh, right. 311 00:06:51,653 --> 00:06:54,323 Wait a second. 312 00:06:51,653 --> 00:06:54,323 Wait a second, 313 00:06:51,653 --> 00:06:54,323 I got the angle. 314 00:06:54,323 --> 00:06:56,241 Sir, please 315 00:06:54,323 --> 00:06:56,241 don't yell at me, 316 00:06:56,241 --> 00:06:59,828 because when people 317 00:06:56,241 --> 00:06:59,828 yell at me, I have 318 00:06:56,241 --> 00:06:59,828 a tendency to start crying. 319 00:06:59,828 --> 00:07:01,579 Please don't do it. 320 00:07:01,579 --> 00:07:03,623 Abby, I've told you before. 321 00:07:01,579 --> 00:07:03,623 Please. 322 00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:05,458 When they're rude to you, 323 00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:05,458 hang up the phone. 324 00:07:05,458 --> 00:07:06,918 how difficult 325 00:07:05,458 --> 00:07:06,918 it is for me to... 326 00:07:06,918 --> 00:07:08,920 Go on, you can 327 00:07:06,918 --> 00:07:08,920 do this, hang up. 328 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:10,880 Abby, hang it up. 329 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:13,508 I am too busy 330 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:13,508 to waste my time... 331 00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:16,719 I'm sorry. 332 00:07:16,719 --> 00:07:19,722 I just wish that 333 00:07:16,719 --> 00:07:19,722 some of the patients 334 00:07:16,719 --> 00:07:19,722 would be nicer to you. 335 00:07:19,722 --> 00:07:21,975 The receptionist. 336 00:07:19,722 --> 00:07:21,975 That's my way in. 337 00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:26,021 I like this. 338 00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:26,021 Seduce the receptionist. 339 00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:26,021 That's a great plan. 340 00:07:26,021 --> 00:07:29,816 That's not the plan. 341 00:07:26,021 --> 00:07:29,816 And how would 342 00:07:26,021 --> 00:07:29,816 that help me with Stella? 343 00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:31,151 Who? 344 00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:32,652 Here's the plan. 345 00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:37,991 Hi. Here. I stopped... 346 00:07:42,578 --> 00:07:45,665 Hi, I stopped for coffee 347 00:07:42,578 --> 00:07:45,665 and I thought 348 00:07:42,578 --> 00:07:45,665 I'd grab you something. 349 00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:47,917 Oh, wow, thank you, 350 00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:47,917 that's so nice. 351 00:07:47,917 --> 00:07:51,713 You're like a knight. 352 00:07:47,917 --> 00:07:51,713 I should call you Sir Ted. 353 00:07:51,713 --> 00:07:53,131 What? 354 00:07:53,131 --> 00:07:56,718 Nothing. Nothing. 355 00:07:53,131 --> 00:07:56,718 It's really stupid. 356 00:07:56,718 --> 00:07:58,845 Dr. Zinman, Ted's here. 357 00:07:58,845 --> 00:08:00,805 Thanks. Thanks, Abby. 358 00:08:02,807 --> 00:08:05,518 And now we wait. 359 00:08:05,518 --> 00:08:07,603 And sure enough, 360 00:08:05,518 --> 00:08:07,603 by session seven, 361 00:08:07,603 --> 00:08:09,356 she saw me 362 00:08:07,603 --> 00:08:09,356 in a whole new light. 363 00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:12,442 Okay, I'm about to break 364 00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:12,442 my big rule here. 365 00:08:12,442 --> 00:08:13,818 Break it. 366 00:08:13,818 --> 00:08:15,987 Okay. 367 00:08:15,987 --> 00:08:18,907 Abby goes bowling 368 00:08:15,987 --> 00:08:18,907 with her church group 369 00:08:15,987 --> 00:08:18,907 every Wednesday night 370 00:08:18,907 --> 00:08:22,535 and she really wanted 371 00:08:18,907 --> 00:08:22,535 to invite you, 372 00:08:18,907 --> 00:08:22,535 but she's too shy. 373 00:08:23,828 --> 00:08:25,121 Abby is... 374 00:08:26,415 --> 00:08:28,499 My receptionist. 375 00:08:28,499 --> 00:08:31,086 You really made 376 00:08:28,499 --> 00:08:31,086 quite an impression on her 377 00:08:28,499 --> 00:08:31,086 with the coffee the other day. 378 00:08:31,086 --> 00:08:33,629 I mean, she's really 379 00:08:31,086 --> 00:08:33,629 not stopped 380 00:08:31,086 --> 00:08:33,629 talking about you. 381 00:08:33,629 --> 00:08:37,759 Oh, Abby. 382 00:08:33,629 --> 00:08:37,759 I thought 383 00:08:33,629 --> 00:08:37,759 you said "Alan." 384 00:08:37,759 --> 00:08:40,678 But you just said, 385 00:08:37,759 --> 00:08:40,678 "Abby is..." 386 00:08:40,678 --> 00:08:42,180 Right. 387 00:08:42,180 --> 00:08:44,724 Right, I thought 388 00:08:42,180 --> 00:08:44,724 I said "Alan." 389 00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:46,768 Who's Alan? 390 00:08:46,768 --> 00:08:47,894 Who's Abby? 391 00:08:48,811 --> 00:08:50,521 My receptionist. 392 00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:52,690 Exactly. 393 00:08:56,194 --> 00:08:58,196 What is happening? 394 00:08:58,196 --> 00:09:01,408 Ted, you just 395 00:08:58,196 --> 00:09:01,408 got to be yourself, 396 00:08:58,196 --> 00:09:01,408 no more gimmicks. 397 00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:04,994 You're right, 398 00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:04,994 no more gimmicks. 399 00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:04,994 One more gimmick. 400 00:09:04,994 --> 00:09:06,496 You know 401 00:09:04,994 --> 00:09:06,496 what's on her shelf? 402 00:09:06,496 --> 00:09:08,415 That self-help book 403 00:09:06,496 --> 00:09:08,415 The Power of Me. 404 00:09:09,749 --> 00:09:11,918 I know, I know, 405 00:09:09,749 --> 00:09:11,918 but I thought 406 00:09:09,749 --> 00:09:11,918 if I read it, 407 00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:13,378 maybe we'd have 408 00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:13,378 something new 409 00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:13,378 to talk about. 410 00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:19,342 It's actually a great book. 411 00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:19,342 It taught me the power 412 00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:19,342 of complete memory. 413 00:09:19,342 --> 00:09:21,803 Can I borrow your copy? 414 00:09:21,803 --> 00:09:24,306 I left it somewhere. 415 00:09:21,803 --> 00:09:24,306 I forget. 416 00:09:27,725 --> 00:09:29,852 Hi. Ted Mosby 417 00:09:27,725 --> 00:09:29,852 for Dr. Zinman. 418 00:09:29,852 --> 00:09:32,814 Hi, Ted. 419 00:09:29,852 --> 00:09:32,814 I'll let her know. 420 00:09:36,234 --> 00:09:37,735 Telepathically? 421 00:09:37,735 --> 00:09:39,195 That's funny. 422 00:09:39,195 --> 00:09:41,823 That's funny, 423 00:09:39,195 --> 00:09:41,823 smart, and great. 424 00:09:43,366 --> 00:09:45,243 I am so sorry 425 00:09:43,366 --> 00:09:45,243 that I am late. 426 00:09:45,243 --> 00:09:47,370 I have, like, two minutes 427 00:09:45,243 --> 00:09:47,370 for lunch every day. 428 00:09:45,243 --> 00:09:47,370 It's crazy. 429 00:09:47,370 --> 00:09:50,957 Yeah, I understand. 430 00:09:47,370 --> 00:09:50,957 I was just checking out 431 00:09:47,370 --> 00:09:50,957 the old bookshelf here. 432 00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:53,668 I see you've read 433 00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:53,668 The Power of Me. 434 00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:53,668 It's funny... 435 00:09:53,668 --> 00:09:55,170 What? Oh, no. 436 00:09:55,170 --> 00:09:58,256 No, no, no, 437 00:09:55,170 --> 00:09:58,256 I would never read 438 00:09:55,170 --> 00:09:58,256 that piece of crap. 439 00:09:58,256 --> 00:09:59,924 Some patient 440 00:09:58,256 --> 00:09:59,924 left it here. 441 00:09:59,924 --> 00:10:01,259 Oh, thank God. 442 00:10:01,259 --> 00:10:03,845 I couldn't agree more. 443 00:10:01,259 --> 00:10:03,845 That's total crap. 444 00:10:03,845 --> 00:10:05,680 I see people reading 445 00:10:03,845 --> 00:10:05,680 that on the subway 446 00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:07,723 and I just want to shout, 447 00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:07,723 "Get a life, people!" 448 00:10:07,723 --> 00:10:08,891 Ted, I found 449 00:10:07,723 --> 00:10:08,891 your book. 450 00:10:08,891 --> 00:10:11,269 What? 451 00:10:11,269 --> 00:10:13,229 Your book, The Power of Me. 452 00:10:11,269 --> 00:10:13,229 I think you accidentally 453 00:10:11,269 --> 00:10:13,229 dropped it in the garbage. 454 00:10:13,229 --> 00:10:14,897 What? No, that's... 455 00:10:13,229 --> 00:10:14,897 That's not mine. 456 00:10:14,897 --> 00:10:16,358 I've never seen 457 00:10:14,897 --> 00:10:16,358 that book before 458 00:10:14,897 --> 00:10:16,358 in my life. 459 00:10:16,358 --> 00:10:18,276 No, you were reading it 460 00:10:16,358 --> 00:10:18,276 in the lobby. 461 00:10:18,276 --> 00:10:19,735 What... No, 462 00:10:18,276 --> 00:10:19,735 you have me confused 463 00:10:18,276 --> 00:10:19,735 with someone else. 464 00:10:19,735 --> 00:10:21,404 No, no, look right here. 465 00:10:21,404 --> 00:10:24,366 "From the personal library 466 00:10:21,404 --> 00:10:24,366 of Ted Mosby." 467 00:10:21,404 --> 00:10:24,366 That's you. 468 00:10:26,742 --> 00:10:31,873 Ted, I hate to say this, 469 00:10:26,742 --> 00:10:31,873 but I think it's 470 00:10:26,742 --> 00:10:31,873 "nail the receptionist" time. 471 00:10:31,873 --> 00:10:34,042 I'm not gonna nail 472 00:10:31,873 --> 00:10:34,042 the receptionist. 473 00:10:34,042 --> 00:10:37,128 Ted, every little boy 474 00:10:34,042 --> 00:10:37,128 wants to grow up to nail 475 00:10:34,042 --> 00:10:37,128 the doctor or the lawyer. 476 00:10:37,128 --> 00:10:39,548 Somebody's gotta 477 00:10:37,128 --> 00:10:39,548 nail the receptionist. 478 00:10:39,548 --> 00:10:41,632 No. I like Stella. 479 00:10:41,632 --> 00:10:43,593 Okay, I'm gonna stop you 480 00:10:41,632 --> 00:10:43,593 right there, Ted. 481 00:10:43,593 --> 00:10:46,304 Your little Stella 482 00:10:43,593 --> 00:10:46,304 is not so perfect. 483 00:10:46,304 --> 00:10:47,930 What do you mean? 484 00:10:47,930 --> 00:10:51,142 I went down there 485 00:10:47,930 --> 00:10:51,142 and checked her out 486 00:10:47,930 --> 00:10:51,142 for myself. 487 00:10:51,142 --> 00:10:54,729 Yeah. And while 488 00:10:51,142 --> 00:10:54,729 I was down there, 489 00:10:54,729 --> 00:10:57,648 I discovered that 490 00:10:54,729 --> 00:10:57,648 she had a secret, 491 00:10:57,648 --> 00:11:00,776 a terrible, terrible secret. 492 00:11:02,070 --> 00:11:03,905 What? What is it? 493 00:11:06,449 --> 00:11:08,326 Hold on, I gotta pee. 494 00:11:12,830 --> 00:11:14,749 Okay, I'm back. 495 00:11:15,833 --> 00:11:17,001 What's going on 496 00:11:15,833 --> 00:11:17,001 at work? 497 00:11:17,001 --> 00:11:18,086 What's the big secret? 498 00:11:18,086 --> 00:11:19,962 Oh. Oh, right. 499 00:11:19,962 --> 00:11:21,381 Hi, I'd like to see 500 00:11:19,962 --> 00:11:21,381 Dr. Zinman, please. 501 00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:23,341 Sure, what's it regarding? 502 00:11:23,341 --> 00:11:26,595 Oh, I just want to see her. 503 00:11:23,341 --> 00:11:26,595 Want to look at her, 504 00:11:23,341 --> 00:11:26,595 see what she looks like. 505 00:11:26,595 --> 00:11:28,721 I don't understand. 506 00:11:28,721 --> 00:11:31,807 I'm sorry, did I accidentally 507 00:11:28,721 --> 00:11:31,807 oprima numero dos 508 00:11:28,721 --> 00:11:31,807 when I called? 509 00:11:31,807 --> 00:11:33,602 Do you speak English? 510 00:11:33,602 --> 00:11:35,604 I want to see her! 511 00:11:35,604 --> 00:11:37,522 Sir, please don't 512 00:11:35,604 --> 00:11:37,522 yell at me, 513 00:11:37,522 --> 00:11:40,316 because when people 514 00:11:37,522 --> 00:11:40,316 yell at me, I have 515 00:11:37,522 --> 00:11:40,316 a tendency to start crying. 516 00:11:40,316 --> 00:11:42,277 What are 517 00:11:40,316 --> 00:11:42,277 your credentials? 518 00:11:40,316 --> 00:11:42,277 Please don't do it. 519 00:11:42,277 --> 00:11:44,820 I want to know 520 00:11:42,277 --> 00:11:44,820 who am I speaking with! 521 00:11:42,277 --> 00:11:44,820 Please. 522 00:11:44,820 --> 00:11:48,575 At first she seemed 523 00:11:44,820 --> 00:11:48,575 great, beautiful, smart, 524 00:11:44,820 --> 00:11:48,575 way out of your league. 525 00:11:48,575 --> 00:11:50,535 But then, I overheard 526 00:11:48,575 --> 00:11:50,535 this conversation. 527 00:11:50,535 --> 00:11:52,412 my grandfather's name. 528 00:11:50,535 --> 00:11:52,412 I was the last-born, so... 529 00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:54,205 Oh, Abby, did my 530 00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:54,205 hypnotherapist call yet? 531 00:11:54,205 --> 00:11:56,541 No. 532 00:11:56,541 --> 00:11:59,628 When am I going to kick 533 00:11:56,541 --> 00:11:59,628 this folliculaphilia? 534 00:12:05,841 --> 00:12:07,093 Folliculaphilia? 535 00:12:07,093 --> 00:12:09,845 Folliculaphilia. 536 00:12:09,845 --> 00:12:11,473 What is that? 537 00:12:11,473 --> 00:12:13,642 Ted, your perfect woman 538 00:12:13,642 --> 00:12:17,186 can only be attracted 539 00:12:13,642 --> 00:12:17,186 to men with moustaches. 540 00:12:18,980 --> 00:12:22,567 That is the stupidest thing 541 00:12:18,980 --> 00:12:22,567 I've ever heard. 542 00:12:22,567 --> 00:12:23,901 That's not real. 543 00:12:23,901 --> 00:12:26,404 You're right, Ted. 544 00:12:23,901 --> 00:12:26,404 I'm just making that up. 545 00:12:26,404 --> 00:12:29,198 I know that you are 546 00:12:26,404 --> 00:12:29,198 because 547 00:12:26,404 --> 00:12:29,198 there's no such thing. 548 00:12:30,116 --> 00:12:32,368 I got it a little bit. 549 00:12:38,416 --> 00:12:40,209 Hi. Ted Mosby 550 00:12:38,416 --> 00:12:40,209 for Dr. Zinman. 551 00:12:40,209 --> 00:12:43,254 Oh, hi, Ted. 552 00:12:40,209 --> 00:12:43,254 Love the 'stache. 553 00:12:43,254 --> 00:12:44,714 You look like 554 00:12:43,254 --> 00:12:44,714 a young Tom Selleck, 555 00:12:44,714 --> 00:12:49,093 only a million times 556 00:12:44,714 --> 00:12:49,093 handsomer. 557 00:12:49,093 --> 00:12:54,015 Dr. Zinman, 558 00:12:49,093 --> 00:12:54,015 Magnum's here to see you. 559 00:12:49,093 --> 00:12:54,015 Just kidding. Stupid. 560 00:12:56,017 --> 00:12:58,186 Sorry I'm late. 561 00:12:56,017 --> 00:12:58,186 Typical two-minute lunch. 562 00:12:58,186 --> 00:13:00,062 So we are very close 563 00:12:58,186 --> 00:13:00,062 to getting... 564 00:13:06,902 --> 00:13:09,531 Why? Just why? 565 00:13:09,531 --> 00:13:12,158 You don't remember? 566 00:13:12,158 --> 00:13:16,829 I'll bet anyone 10 bucks 567 00:13:12,158 --> 00:13:16,829 I can get Ted 568 00:13:12,158 --> 00:13:16,829 to grow a moustache. 569 00:13:16,829 --> 00:13:18,581 Okay. 570 00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:23,961 You sabotaged my next 571 00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:23,961 to last chance 572 00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:23,961 with Stella for $10? 573 00:13:23,961 --> 00:13:26,464 I know. 574 00:13:23,961 --> 00:13:26,464 I would've done it 575 00:13:23,961 --> 00:13:26,464 for free. 576 00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:30,468 But, no. 577 00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:30,468 You owe me 10 bucks. 578 00:13:30,468 --> 00:13:34,055 This is awful. 579 00:13:30,468 --> 00:13:34,055 My tenth session 580 00:13:30,468 --> 00:13:34,055 is next week. 581 00:13:34,055 --> 00:13:36,265 I'm gonna ask her out 582 00:13:34,055 --> 00:13:36,265 and she's gonna say 583 00:13:36,265 --> 00:13:40,228 the most demoralizing syllable 584 00:13:36,265 --> 00:13:40,228 in the English language, "no." 585 00:13:40,228 --> 00:13:42,605 You know what? Just forget it. 586 00:13:40,228 --> 00:13:42,605 I'm not even gonna ask her. 587 00:13:42,605 --> 00:13:47,777 No, you have to. 588 00:13:42,605 --> 00:13:47,777 She likes you. 589 00:13:42,605 --> 00:13:47,777 She said so herself. I mean... 590 00:13:47,777 --> 00:13:49,445 Oh, my God, 591 00:13:47,777 --> 00:13:49,445 you went and saw her, too? 592 00:13:49,445 --> 00:13:51,864 I swear to you, 593 00:13:49,445 --> 00:13:51,864 I did not. 594 00:13:57,203 --> 00:13:59,664 My wife's always getting 595 00:13:57,203 --> 00:13:59,664 on me about my dry elbows. 596 00:13:59,664 --> 00:14:01,916 So good to be 597 00:13:59,664 --> 00:14:01,916 in a relationship. 598 00:14:01,916 --> 00:14:05,002 Anyone special in your life? 599 00:14:01,916 --> 00:14:05,002 Or maybe just someone 600 00:14:01,916 --> 00:14:05,002 you're interested in? 601 00:14:05,002 --> 00:14:06,962 Interes-ted in? 602 00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:11,926 You know, we should really 603 00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:11,926 get this mole checked out. 604 00:14:11,926 --> 00:14:13,886 It's just 605 00:14:11,926 --> 00:14:13,886 a little irregular. 606 00:14:13,886 --> 00:14:16,931 Irregular? 607 00:14:13,886 --> 00:14:16,931 Oh, my God. 608 00:14:16,931 --> 00:14:19,183 This is it. It's all over. 609 00:14:19,183 --> 00:14:21,977 One of my patients has this 610 00:14:19,183 --> 00:14:21,977 little butterfly tattoo 611 00:14:19,183 --> 00:14:21,977 at the bottom of his back. 612 00:14:21,977 --> 00:14:24,397 Can you stop talking about 613 00:14:21,977 --> 00:14:24,397 your other patients? 614 00:14:24,397 --> 00:14:27,066 I'm dying here, woman! 615 00:14:27,066 --> 00:14:29,902 Now, look, 616 00:14:27,066 --> 00:14:29,902 even if it is something, 617 00:14:27,066 --> 00:14:29,902 it's easily treatable, 618 00:14:29,902 --> 00:14:31,112 so try to relax. 619 00:14:31,112 --> 00:14:33,322 Okay. 620 00:14:33,322 --> 00:14:36,867 Hey, what was it you were 621 00:14:33,322 --> 00:14:36,867 saying before about the guy 622 00:14:33,322 --> 00:14:36,867 with the butterfly tattoo? 623 00:14:36,867 --> 00:14:40,288 Oh, that. That's nothing. 624 00:14:36,867 --> 00:14:40,288 It's just a little crush. 625 00:14:40,288 --> 00:14:42,540 So I will be calling you 626 00:14:40,288 --> 00:14:42,540 with your results. 627 00:14:42,540 --> 00:14:44,375 Oh. Okay. Thank you. 628 00:14:46,502 --> 00:14:48,504 Oh, sir, your book! 629 00:14:50,214 --> 00:14:52,258 No. 630 00:14:50,214 --> 00:14:52,258 Yes. 631 00:14:52,258 --> 00:14:55,720 She said "crush"? 632 00:14:52,258 --> 00:14:55,720 And she was 633 00:14:52,258 --> 00:14:55,720 talking about me? 634 00:14:57,680 --> 00:15:00,141 That last session 635 00:14:57,680 --> 00:15:00,141 was the least painful of all. 636 00:15:00,141 --> 00:15:03,102 I savored every searing blast 637 00:15:00,141 --> 00:15:03,102 of that laser. 638 00:15:03,102 --> 00:15:05,020 All done. 639 00:15:05,020 --> 00:15:08,357 The moment 640 00:15:05,020 --> 00:15:08,357 I'd waited 10 weeks for 641 00:15:05,020 --> 00:15:08,357 had arrived. 642 00:15:08,357 --> 00:15:10,943 Stella, 643 00:15:10,943 --> 00:15:16,073 now that I'm no longer 644 00:15:10,943 --> 00:15:16,073 your patient, would you 645 00:15:10,943 --> 00:15:16,073 like to have dinner with me? 646 00:15:20,119 --> 00:15:21,954 Ted, you're a really 647 00:15:20,119 --> 00:15:21,954 nice guy... 648 00:15:21,954 --> 00:15:23,832 Oh, no. 649 00:15:23,832 --> 00:15:26,208 It has been so great 650 00:15:23,832 --> 00:15:26,208 getting to know you. 651 00:15:26,208 --> 00:15:27,710 I am gonna kill Marshall. 652 00:15:27,710 --> 00:15:29,378 I've had so much fun 653 00:15:27,710 --> 00:15:29,378 these past 10 weeks. 654 00:15:29,378 --> 00:15:32,799 Oh, my God, 655 00:15:29,378 --> 00:15:32,799 this is worse 656 00:15:29,378 --> 00:15:32,799 than the laser. 657 00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:34,342 I have a daughter. 658 00:15:35,259 --> 00:15:36,845 What? 659 00:15:36,845 --> 00:15:39,054 Her name's Lucy. 660 00:15:36,845 --> 00:15:39,054 She's eight. 661 00:15:39,054 --> 00:15:42,767 Work and being with her, 662 00:15:39,054 --> 00:15:42,767 that's pretty much my life. 663 00:15:42,767 --> 00:15:44,935 My social calendar 664 00:15:42,767 --> 00:15:44,935 is movie night 665 00:15:42,767 --> 00:15:44,935 with the girls 666 00:15:44,935 --> 00:15:46,771 once a month 667 00:15:44,935 --> 00:15:46,771 when I can get a sitter. 668 00:15:46,771 --> 00:15:49,440 I mean, I've been to 669 00:15:46,771 --> 00:15:49,440 one party 670 00:15:46,771 --> 00:15:49,440 in the past year. 671 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:51,984 St. Patty's Day. 672 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:51,984 It was awful, 673 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:51,984 I left early. 674 00:15:51,984 --> 00:15:55,822 But, really, my only free time 675 00:15:51,984 --> 00:15:55,822 is the two minutes 676 00:15:51,984 --> 00:15:55,822 I get for lunch, 677 00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:58,366 so this is why 678 00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:58,366 I don't date. 679 00:15:58,366 --> 00:16:01,911 Ted, I only have time 680 00:15:58,366 --> 00:16:01,911 for one most important 681 00:15:58,366 --> 00:16:01,911 person in my life, 682 00:16:01,911 --> 00:16:03,412 and that's Lucy. 683 00:16:04,330 --> 00:16:06,290 Anyway, it's been fun. 684 00:16:06,290 --> 00:16:08,877 Next time, 685 00:16:06,290 --> 00:16:08,877 think before you ink. 686 00:16:08,877 --> 00:16:11,796 But if you ever do 687 00:16:08,877 --> 00:16:11,796 wake up with, like, 688 00:16:11,796 --> 00:16:16,133 a dolphin tattoo 689 00:16:11,796 --> 00:16:16,133 on your ankle, 690 00:16:11,796 --> 00:16:16,133 just give me a call. 691 00:16:19,846 --> 00:16:23,015 There it is, 692 00:16:19,846 --> 00:16:23,015 she's a mom. 693 00:16:23,015 --> 00:16:24,809 It's just not 694 00:16:23,015 --> 00:16:24,809 gonna happen. 695 00:16:24,809 --> 00:16:25,976 Sorry, dude. 696 00:16:27,144 --> 00:16:28,270 Have a shrimp. 697 00:16:28,270 --> 00:16:30,690 I'm okay. 698 00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:32,191 I guess I got no one 699 00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:32,191 but myself to blame. 700 00:16:32,191 --> 00:16:33,609 She told me 701 00:16:32,191 --> 00:16:33,609 right from the start 702 00:16:33,609 --> 00:16:36,237 she was gonna say "no" 703 00:16:33,609 --> 00:16:36,237 and sure enough... 704 00:16:37,697 --> 00:16:39,741 Wait a minute. 705 00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:45,705 Hi. 706 00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:45,705 Hi. 707 00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:47,331 You didn't 708 00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:47,331 actually say "no." 709 00:16:47,331 --> 00:16:49,124 What do you mean? 710 00:16:49,124 --> 00:16:50,543 Well, all of this time, 711 00:16:49,124 --> 00:16:50,543 you were... You were 712 00:16:49,124 --> 00:16:50,543 supposed to say "no," 713 00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:53,671 but you didn't, 714 00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:53,671 I checked the transcript. 715 00:16:53,671 --> 00:16:55,715 So, here's what 716 00:16:53,671 --> 00:16:55,715 I'm proposing. 717 00:16:55,715 --> 00:16:57,049 You only have 718 00:16:55,715 --> 00:16:57,049 two minutes, right? 719 00:16:57,049 --> 00:16:58,509 Right. 720 00:16:58,509 --> 00:17:01,679 Okay. You want to go 721 00:16:58,509 --> 00:17:01,679 on a two-minute date 722 00:16:58,509 --> 00:17:01,679 with me? 723 00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:06,225 Last two minute date I had 724 00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:06,225 gave me a daughter. 725 00:17:06,225 --> 00:17:08,561 But, okay. 726 00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:09,687 Great. 727 00:17:11,981 --> 00:17:14,567 And, go. 728 00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:16,569 Taxi! 729 00:17:17,486 --> 00:17:18,988 Hello! 730 00:17:18,988 --> 00:17:20,197 Ted, I seriously 731 00:17:18,988 --> 00:17:20,197 only have 732 00:17:18,988 --> 00:17:20,197 two minutes... 733 00:17:20,197 --> 00:17:21,657 I know. 734 00:17:23,284 --> 00:17:25,119 That's like 735 00:17:23,284 --> 00:17:25,119 120 seconds. 736 00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:28,289 380 West 22nd, please. 737 00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:28,289 And step on it. 738 00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:28,289 We're in a hurry. 739 00:17:28,289 --> 00:17:30,040 380 West 22nd? 740 00:17:28,289 --> 00:17:30,040 That's... 741 00:17:32,877 --> 00:17:34,211 Ah-ha! 742 00:17:34,211 --> 00:17:35,588 Right this way. 743 00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:37,089 Thank you, sir. 744 00:17:37,089 --> 00:17:39,759 You know, I have always 745 00:17:37,089 --> 00:17:39,759 wanted to try this place. 746 00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:41,302 House salad. 747 00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:41,302 Oh. 748 00:17:41,302 --> 00:17:42,762 So, college? 749 00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:44,639 Stanford. 750 00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:44,639 Uh-huh. Wesleyan. 751 00:17:44,639 --> 00:17:46,015 Oh, good. 752 00:17:44,639 --> 00:17:46,015 Do you know 753 00:17:44,639 --> 00:17:46,015 Adam Lazar? 754 00:17:46,015 --> 00:17:47,016 No. Scott Crable? 755 00:17:47,016 --> 00:17:48,100 Uh-uh. 756 00:17:49,059 --> 00:17:50,561 Eggplant parmesan. 757 00:17:50,561 --> 00:17:52,229 Thanks. 758 00:17:50,561 --> 00:17:52,229 Oh, already cut up. 759 00:17:50,561 --> 00:17:52,229 Nice. 760 00:17:52,229 --> 00:17:53,689 Could we get 761 00:17:52,229 --> 00:17:53,689 the check, please? 762 00:17:53,689 --> 00:17:54,941 We're trying to make 763 00:17:53,689 --> 00:17:54,941 a movie in 15 seconds. 764 00:17:54,941 --> 00:17:56,233 Of course. 765 00:17:54,941 --> 00:17:56,233 Okay, great. 766 00:17:56,233 --> 00:17:58,068 How do you want 767 00:17:56,233 --> 00:17:58,068 to do this? 768 00:17:58,068 --> 00:18:00,362 You had the eggplant parm. 769 00:17:58,068 --> 00:18:00,362 I only really 770 00:17:58,068 --> 00:18:00,362 had water, so... 771 00:18:00,362 --> 00:18:03,616 I'm kidding. 772 00:18:00,362 --> 00:18:03,616 Okay. Let's go. 773 00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:05,785 Taxi! 774 00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:05,785 You nervous? 775 00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:07,453 A little bit. 776 00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:07,453 Can't tell at all. 777 00:18:07,453 --> 00:18:08,621 Oh, good. 778 00:18:07,453 --> 00:18:08,621 Yeah. 779 00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:09,914 Hello! 780 00:18:16,838 --> 00:18:19,632 384 West 22nd. 781 00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:21,009 Fifteen seconds. 782 00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:21,009 The movie's started. 783 00:18:21,009 --> 00:18:22,969 Nah, previews. 784 00:18:21,009 --> 00:18:22,969 We'll be fine. 785 00:18:25,888 --> 00:18:28,516 Ah! Just in time. 786 00:18:25,888 --> 00:18:28,516 It hasn't 787 00:18:25,888 --> 00:18:28,516 started yet. 788 00:18:28,516 --> 00:18:29,642 So, what are 789 00:18:28,516 --> 00:18:29,642 we seeing? 790 00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:31,019 Hands of Fate. 791 00:18:31,019 --> 00:18:32,061 The whole thing? 792 00:18:32,061 --> 00:18:33,980 Only the 793 00:18:32,061 --> 00:18:33,980 important parts. 794 00:18:39,735 --> 00:18:41,863 Worst movie ever. 795 00:18:41,863 --> 00:18:44,156 Yeah, I almost 796 00:18:41,863 --> 00:18:44,156 walked out, 797 00:18:41,863 --> 00:18:44,156 like, five times. 798 00:18:44,156 --> 00:18:46,575 How we doing 799 00:18:44,156 --> 00:18:46,575 on time? Taxi! 800 00:18:46,575 --> 00:18:48,577 We got a little time. 801 00:18:46,575 --> 00:18:48,577 Okay. 802 00:18:46,575 --> 00:18:48,577 Do you want to walk it? 803 00:18:48,577 --> 00:18:49,620 Why not? 804 00:18:49,620 --> 00:18:52,581 Hello! Goodbye! 805 00:18:53,708 --> 00:18:55,167 So what grade's 806 00:18:53,708 --> 00:18:55,167 your daughter in? 807 00:18:55,167 --> 00:18:56,961 Third grade. 808 00:18:55,167 --> 00:18:56,961 Ah. That's a good year. 809 00:18:56,961 --> 00:18:58,713 Yeah, 810 00:18:56,961 --> 00:18:58,713 she's wonderful. 811 00:18:58,713 --> 00:19:00,715 I just wish that 812 00:18:58,713 --> 00:19:00,715 I could get her to 813 00:18:58,713 --> 00:19:00,715 quit smoking, you know? 814 00:19:00,715 --> 00:19:02,091 What? 815 00:19:00,715 --> 00:19:02,091 I'm kidding. 816 00:19:02,091 --> 00:19:03,300 Oh. 817 00:19:03,300 --> 00:19:04,426 Little coffee 818 00:19:03,300 --> 00:19:04,426 and dessert? 819 00:19:05,887 --> 00:19:07,805 You know, this neighborhood 820 00:19:05,887 --> 00:19:07,805 just keeps on changing. 821 00:19:07,805 --> 00:19:09,057 This used to be a cute, 822 00:19:07,805 --> 00:19:09,057 little Italian restaurant. 823 00:19:09,057 --> 00:19:10,683 I know. New York. 824 00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:12,727 It's a living organism, 825 00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:12,727 an ever-changing tapestry. 826 00:19:12,727 --> 00:19:15,855 Oh, look at the time. 827 00:19:12,727 --> 00:19:15,855 Let's go. 828 00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:18,691 This cheesecake's 829 00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:18,691 amazing. 830 00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:20,735 Flowers? 831 00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:20,735 I'm allergic. 832 00:19:20,735 --> 00:19:23,863 Okay. See? 833 00:19:20,735 --> 00:19:23,863 We're getting 834 00:19:20,735 --> 00:19:23,863 to know other. 835 00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:27,157 Stella, I had a lovely... 836 00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:27,157 Doggy bag? 837 00:19:27,157 --> 00:19:28,242 Oh! 838 00:19:28,242 --> 00:19:30,619 Stella, I had 839 00:19:28,242 --> 00:19:30,619 a lovely time. 840 00:19:30,619 --> 00:19:31,996 Me too, Ted. 841 00:19:31,996 --> 00:19:34,164 And, date. 842 00:19:34,164 --> 00:19:36,458 Huh? That wasn't 843 00:19:34,164 --> 00:19:36,458 so bad, right? 844 00:19:36,458 --> 00:19:39,003 No lengthy, 845 00:19:36,458 --> 00:19:39,003 awkward silences. 846 00:19:39,003 --> 00:19:42,798 Dessert ran a little long, 847 00:19:39,003 --> 00:19:42,798 so I had to 848 00:19:39,003 --> 00:19:42,798 cut the goodnight kiss. 849 00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:46,761 I think I can be 850 00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:46,761 late just once. 851 00:19:58,355 --> 00:19:59,899 Ted... 852 00:19:58,355 --> 00:19:59,899 Look, 853 00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:02,317 I would love 854 00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:02,317 to have a second date, 855 00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:02,317 I would. 856 00:20:02,317 --> 00:20:04,862 But I understand that 857 00:20:02,317 --> 00:20:04,862 you really don't have 858 00:20:02,317 --> 00:20:04,862 the time right now, 859 00:20:04,862 --> 00:20:07,073 but if you ever do, 860 00:20:04,862 --> 00:20:07,073 will you 861 00:20:04,862 --> 00:20:07,073 give me a call? 862 00:20:07,990 --> 00:20:09,658 Yes. 863 00:20:07,990 --> 00:20:09,658 Okay. 864 00:20:13,203 --> 00:20:15,330 And that, kids, 865 00:20:13,203 --> 00:20:15,330 is how you turn a "no" 866 00:20:15,330 --> 00:20:17,083 into a "yes." 867 00:20:20,962 --> 00:20:24,006 All my friends told me, 868 00:20:20,962 --> 00:20:24,006 "Abby, be strong. He doesn't 869 00:20:20,962 --> 00:20:24,006 deserve another chance." 870 00:20:24,006 --> 00:20:25,133 No, no, no. 871 00:20:24,006 --> 00:20:25,133 But I forgive you! 872 00:20:25,133 --> 00:20:27,384 No, no, no! 873 00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:34,142 He seemed so nice, 874 00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:34,142 but then he just kept 875 00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:34,142 toying with my emotions. 876 00:20:34,142 --> 00:20:38,562 Wow. This Ted guy 877 00:20:34,142 --> 00:20:38,562 sounds like a real jerk. 878 00:20:38,562 --> 00:20:41,732 You know your problem? 879 00:20:38,562 --> 00:20:41,732 You're too sweet. 880 00:20:41,732 --> 00:20:43,818 Aren't you going to 881 00:20:41,732 --> 00:20:43,818 see the doctor 882 00:20:41,732 --> 00:20:43,818 about that mole? 883 00:20:43,818 --> 00:20:48,156 Oh, yeah. Turns out 884 00:20:43,818 --> 00:20:48,156 it's just a Raisinet. 885 00:20:48,156 --> 00:20:52,034 Hey, how would 886 00:20:48,156 --> 00:20:52,034 you like me to take you out 887 00:20:48,156 --> 00:20:52,034 to a fancy restaurant 888 00:20:52,034 --> 00:20:54,453 and then go on 889 00:20:52,034 --> 00:20:54,453 a shopping spree? 890 00:20:54,453 --> 00:20:56,831 Treat you the way 891 00:20:54,453 --> 00:20:56,831 you should be treated. 892 00:20:56,831 --> 00:20:59,708 Would that make you forget 893 00:20:56,831 --> 00:20:59,708 about that Ted monster? 894 00:20:59,708 --> 00:21:03,879 My mom was wrong. 895 00:20:59,708 --> 00:21:03,879 There are nice guys 896 00:20:59,708 --> 00:21:03,879 in New York. 897 00:21:03,879 --> 00:21:06,007 We just have to go 898 00:21:03,879 --> 00:21:06,007 by my hotel room first. 899 00:21:06,007 --> 00:21:09,218 My bed was broken. 900 00:21:06,007 --> 00:21:09,218 I just have to make sure 901 00:21:06,007 --> 00:21:09,218 they fixed it. 902 00:21:09,218 --> 00:21:11,261 Then if it's fixed, 903 00:21:09,218 --> 00:21:11,261 can we can have sex on it 904 00:21:11,261 --> 00:21:13,764 and then go shopping? 905 00:21:15,224 --> 00:21:16,976 I like you.