1 00:00:01,929 --> 00:00:04,264 Kids, back 2 00:00:01,929 --> 00:00:04,264 when we were younger, 3 00:00:04,264 --> 00:00:06,642 your Uncle Marshall and I 4 00:00:04,264 --> 00:00:06,642 were really into 5 00:00:04,264 --> 00:00:06,642 college basketball. 6 00:00:06,642 --> 00:00:09,478 Every year, March Madness 7 00:00:06,642 --> 00:00:09,478 would take over 8 00:00:06,642 --> 00:00:09,478 the entire apartment. 9 00:00:09,478 --> 00:00:10,813 Hey. What's with 10 00:00:09,478 --> 00:00:10,813 the blackboard? 11 00:00:10,813 --> 00:00:12,397 It's our NCAA bracket. 12 00:00:12,397 --> 00:00:15,609 Big board 13 00:00:12,397 --> 00:00:15,609 equals big luck! 14 00:00:15,609 --> 00:00:18,612 Hey, that looks familiar. 15 00:00:15,609 --> 00:00:18,612 Where did you get it? 16 00:00:20,781 --> 00:00:23,617 Hello. I'm looking for 17 00:00:20,781 --> 00:00:23,617 my wife, Ms. Aldrin. 18 00:00:23,617 --> 00:00:26,161 There's no school today. 19 00:00:23,617 --> 00:00:26,161 It's a Saturday. 20 00:00:26,161 --> 00:00:28,121 Of course. 21 00:00:26,161 --> 00:00:28,121 How could I forget? 22 00:00:28,121 --> 00:00:29,665 Dumb ass. 23 00:00:38,799 --> 00:00:40,050 Big board! 24 00:00:40,050 --> 00:00:41,760 Big luck! 25 00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:43,804 We found it. 26 00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:43,804 No big deal. 27 00:00:43,804 --> 00:00:45,889 Anyway, every year, 28 00:00:43,804 --> 00:00:45,889 Ted and I 29 00:00:43,804 --> 00:00:45,889 go in together 30 00:00:45,889 --> 00:00:47,766 on this big money pool 31 00:00:45,889 --> 00:00:47,766 out in Staten Island. 32 00:00:47,766 --> 00:00:51,020 Yeah. The winner gets 33 00:00:47,766 --> 00:00:51,020 $100,000 stuffed 34 00:00:47,766 --> 00:00:51,020 in a duffel bag. 35 00:00:51,020 --> 00:00:53,814 And you get to 36 00:00:51,020 --> 00:00:53,814 keep the duffel bag. 37 00:00:53,814 --> 00:00:57,734 Why do you guys 38 00:00:53,814 --> 00:00:57,734 put yourselves through this? 39 00:00:53,814 --> 00:00:57,734 You lose every year. 40 00:00:57,734 --> 00:00:59,820 That's because in the past, 41 00:00:57,734 --> 00:00:59,820 we were just guessing. 42 00:00:59,820 --> 00:01:03,406 This year, we watched 43 00:00:59,820 --> 00:01:03,406 every game, read box scores, 44 00:00:59,820 --> 00:01:03,406 tracked injuries. 45 00:01:03,406 --> 00:01:04,950 This isn't 46 00:01:03,406 --> 00:01:04,950 March Madness. 47 00:01:04,950 --> 00:01:08,161 This is March 48 00:01:04,950 --> 00:01:08,161 Meticulously 49 00:01:04,950 --> 00:01:08,161 Thought-outness. 50 00:01:08,161 --> 00:01:10,622 Your team lost 51 00:01:08,161 --> 00:01:10,622 20 minutes ago. 52 00:01:12,457 --> 00:01:14,960 I didn't know 53 00:01:12,457 --> 00:01:14,960 they were playing today. 54 00:01:16,586 --> 00:01:18,005 You okay, Barney? 55 00:01:18,005 --> 00:01:20,507 Something strange 56 00:01:18,005 --> 00:01:20,507 is going on. 57 00:01:20,507 --> 00:01:21,967 I was down 58 00:01:20,507 --> 00:01:21,967 at the hardware store 59 00:01:21,967 --> 00:01:23,719 trying to get a little 60 00:01:21,967 --> 00:01:23,719 something-something. 61 00:01:23,719 --> 00:01:27,305 Wait. You go to 62 00:01:23,719 --> 00:01:27,305 the hardware store 63 00:01:23,719 --> 00:01:27,305 to pick up girls? 64 00:01:27,305 --> 00:01:29,725 There are four kinds of women 65 00:01:27,305 --> 00:01:29,725 who go to the 66 00:01:27,305 --> 00:01:29,725 hardware store by themselves. 67 00:01:29,725 --> 00:01:31,101 Of course there are. 68 00:01:31,101 --> 00:01:34,813 Single, recently single, 69 00:01:31,101 --> 00:01:34,813 recently divorced, 70 00:01:34,813 --> 00:01:36,690 lesbian who will 71 00:01:34,813 --> 00:01:36,690 let me watch. 72 00:01:36,690 --> 00:01:38,567 You could not 73 00:01:36,690 --> 00:01:38,567 be more evil. 74 00:01:38,567 --> 00:01:40,069 Sorry. Five. 75 00:01:40,069 --> 00:01:41,653 Recently widowed. 76 00:01:42,905 --> 00:01:44,948 So, I'm talking 77 00:01:42,905 --> 00:01:44,948 to this girl... 78 00:01:44,948 --> 00:01:47,701 Look, I'm sure 79 00:01:44,948 --> 00:01:47,701 he's in a better place. 80 00:01:47,701 --> 00:01:50,161 Now let's find you 81 00:01:47,701 --> 00:01:50,161 a sturdier ladder. 82 00:01:52,081 --> 00:01:54,666 I was only gone 83 00:01:52,081 --> 00:01:54,666 for a second when... 84 00:01:54,666 --> 00:01:56,793 See? Skid-proof. 85 00:01:59,963 --> 00:02:01,882 The same thing happened 86 00:01:59,963 --> 00:02:01,882 at the pet store yesterday. 87 00:02:01,882 --> 00:02:03,466 Pet store? 88 00:02:03,466 --> 00:02:05,761 Single girl, mid-20s, 89 00:02:03,466 --> 00:02:05,761 looking for 90 00:02:03,466 --> 00:02:05,761 a canine replacement 91 00:02:05,761 --> 00:02:09,180 for the boyfriend 92 00:02:05,761 --> 00:02:09,180 who just dumped her. 93 00:02:05,761 --> 00:02:09,180 Instead, finds Barney. 94 00:02:09,180 --> 00:02:11,600 God bless you, Ted. 95 00:02:09,180 --> 00:02:11,600 You're reading my blog. 96 00:02:13,435 --> 00:02:15,729 I'm really bored at work. 97 00:02:15,729 --> 00:02:19,066 I'd call your ex a dog, 98 00:02:15,729 --> 00:02:19,066 but that'll be an insult 99 00:02:15,729 --> 00:02:19,066 to little Ladybug here. 100 00:02:19,066 --> 00:02:22,069 Oh, I just want to 101 00:02:19,066 --> 00:02:22,069 take her home right now. 102 00:02:22,069 --> 00:02:25,572 Not without a chew toy 103 00:02:22,069 --> 00:02:25,572 from Uncle Barney first. 104 00:02:25,572 --> 00:02:26,698 Okay... 105 00:02:28,033 --> 00:02:29,325 And when I got back... 106 00:02:29,325 --> 00:02:31,870 I'm sorry, 107 00:02:29,325 --> 00:02:31,870 I'm already spoiling her, 108 00:02:31,870 --> 00:02:34,831 but "Diamond in the ruff." 109 00:02:31,870 --> 00:02:34,831 Could your heart just melt? 110 00:02:34,831 --> 00:02:35,916 Jerk! 111 00:02:38,209 --> 00:02:39,795 Weird, right? 112 00:02:39,795 --> 00:02:42,213 The same thing 113 00:02:39,795 --> 00:02:42,213 happened last week 114 00:02:39,795 --> 00:02:42,213 at the museum. 115 00:02:42,213 --> 00:02:43,256 Ooh, ooh, ooh. 116 00:02:43,256 --> 00:02:45,550 Lily. 117 00:02:45,550 --> 00:02:47,844 You pretend to be 118 00:02:45,550 --> 00:02:47,844 a struggling young artist 119 00:02:45,550 --> 00:02:47,844 who needs a new muse. 120 00:02:47,844 --> 00:02:49,554 No. Marshall. 121 00:02:49,554 --> 00:02:51,807 You're a millionaire art thief 122 00:02:49,554 --> 00:02:51,807 casing the joint for a thrill 123 00:02:51,807 --> 00:02:53,142 money can 124 00:02:51,807 --> 00:02:53,142 no longer give you! 125 00:02:53,142 --> 00:02:55,852 Oh, no. Robin. 126 00:02:55,852 --> 00:02:57,980 You're going blind, 127 00:02:55,852 --> 00:02:57,980 and you're trying to soak up 128 00:02:55,852 --> 00:02:57,980 all the beauty in the world 129 00:02:57,980 --> 00:02:59,481 before the darkness descends. 130 00:02:59,481 --> 00:03:01,441 Bingo! 131 00:03:01,441 --> 00:03:02,985 So, I was talking to 132 00:03:01,441 --> 00:03:02,985 this girl. 133 00:03:02,985 --> 00:03:06,488 At this point, 134 00:03:02,985 --> 00:03:06,488 about 83%. 135 00:03:06,488 --> 00:03:09,491 Soon, these audio guides 136 00:03:06,488 --> 00:03:09,491 will be 137 00:03:06,488 --> 00:03:09,491 all that I have left. 138 00:03:09,491 --> 00:03:11,576 I'm so sorry. 139 00:03:13,745 --> 00:03:16,581 My God, you are beautiful. 140 00:03:16,581 --> 00:03:19,001 Hey. How about 141 00:03:16,581 --> 00:03:19,001 I get you a headset 142 00:03:19,001 --> 00:03:21,586 so you can see 143 00:03:19,001 --> 00:03:21,586 with your ears 144 00:03:19,001 --> 00:03:21,586 like I do? 145 00:03:29,052 --> 00:03:30,762 I couldn't 146 00:03:29,052 --> 00:03:30,762 have been gone 147 00:03:29,052 --> 00:03:30,762 more than 20 seconds, 148 00:03:30,762 --> 00:03:32,347 but when I came back... 149 00:03:32,347 --> 00:03:35,642 You know, 150 00:03:32,347 --> 00:03:35,642 I also love the smell 151 00:03:32,347 --> 00:03:35,642 of great art. 152 00:03:38,436 --> 00:03:40,355 Why does this 153 00:03:38,436 --> 00:03:40,355 keep happening? 154 00:03:40,355 --> 00:03:43,358 Maybe you're not 155 00:03:40,355 --> 00:03:43,358 as good a liar 156 00:03:40,355 --> 00:03:43,358 as you think you are. 157 00:03:43,358 --> 00:03:46,695 Oh, really? 158 00:03:43,358 --> 00:03:46,695 Then why am I not 159 00:03:43,358 --> 00:03:46,695 in prison for perjury? 160 00:03:46,695 --> 00:03:49,114 But I don't want to 161 00:03:46,695 --> 00:03:49,114 talk about work. 162 00:03:49,114 --> 00:03:52,701 Something weird 163 00:03:49,114 --> 00:03:52,701 is going on here. 164 00:03:52,701 --> 00:03:54,703 But the next night 165 00:03:52,701 --> 00:03:54,703 got even weirder. 166 00:03:55,871 --> 00:03:58,123 Alan Alda. 167 00:03:55,871 --> 00:03:58,123 It was Alan Alda. 168 00:03:58,123 --> 00:04:00,625 You're never gonna believe 169 00:03:58,123 --> 00:04:00,625 what just happened. 170 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:05,214 Who was that guy 171 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:05,214 from M-A-S-H? 172 00:04:05,214 --> 00:04:07,340 The main guy. What... 173 00:04:07,340 --> 00:04:09,592 Hawkeye from M-A-S-H. 174 00:04:07,340 --> 00:04:09,592 How can I be 175 00:04:07,340 --> 00:04:09,592 blanking on this? 176 00:04:09,592 --> 00:04:10,969 Alan Alda? 177 00:04:10,969 --> 00:04:12,221 No. 178 00:04:15,682 --> 00:04:18,393 Hey, a word of advice? 179 00:04:18,393 --> 00:04:20,436 That guy 180 00:04:18,393 --> 00:04:20,436 you were talking to, 181 00:04:18,393 --> 00:04:20,436 Barney Stinson, 182 00:04:20,436 --> 00:04:22,564 I know 183 00:04:20,436 --> 00:04:22,564 he seems charming, 184 00:04:22,564 --> 00:04:24,566 but he's just 185 00:04:22,564 --> 00:04:24,566 saying whatever it takes 186 00:04:22,564 --> 00:04:24,566 to get in your pants. 187 00:04:24,566 --> 00:04:27,736 Sleeping with Barney 188 00:04:24,566 --> 00:04:27,736 was the biggest 189 00:04:24,566 --> 00:04:27,736 mistake of my life. 190 00:04:30,739 --> 00:04:32,532 Oh, my God. 191 00:04:30,739 --> 00:04:32,532 Where is she? 192 00:04:33,658 --> 00:04:34,784 Oh! 193 00:04:34,784 --> 00:04:35,869 She must have left. 194 00:04:35,869 --> 00:04:36,912 She... Well, 195 00:04:36,912 --> 00:04:38,580 she said I hooked up 196 00:04:36,912 --> 00:04:38,580 with her? 197 00:04:38,580 --> 00:04:40,290 What was her name? 198 00:04:38,580 --> 00:04:40,290 What did she look like? 199 00:04:40,290 --> 00:04:43,752 She didn't say her name, 200 00:04:40,290 --> 00:04:43,752 but she had 201 00:04:40,290 --> 00:04:43,752 blonde hair, boobs. 202 00:04:43,752 --> 00:04:45,503 Kind of trashy. 203 00:04:45,503 --> 00:04:47,672 Dead in the eyes with an aura 204 00:04:45,503 --> 00:04:47,672 of self-loathing and despair? 205 00:04:47,672 --> 00:04:50,092 Yes! 206 00:04:47,672 --> 00:04:50,092 That's all of them. 207 00:04:50,092 --> 00:04:53,595 Okay. Stay calm. 208 00:04:50,092 --> 00:04:53,595 Let's think 209 00:04:50,092 --> 00:04:53,595 this through. 210 00:04:53,595 --> 00:04:56,514 One of the girls 211 00:04:53,595 --> 00:04:56,514 who I lied to, 212 00:04:53,595 --> 00:04:56,514 seduced and abandoned 213 00:04:56,514 --> 00:04:58,433 is trying to 214 00:04:56,514 --> 00:04:58,433 ruin my life. 215 00:04:58,433 --> 00:05:01,686 Shouldn't be too hard 216 00:04:58,433 --> 00:05:01,686 to figure out 217 00:04:58,433 --> 00:05:01,686 which one it is. 218 00:05:10,695 --> 00:05:12,114 Oh, dear God! 219 00:05:28,546 --> 00:05:30,299 This is a nightmare. 220 00:05:30,299 --> 00:05:31,758 Some woman 221 00:05:30,299 --> 00:05:31,758 that I slept with 222 00:05:30,299 --> 00:05:31,758 and screwed over 223 00:05:31,758 --> 00:05:33,426 is trying to 224 00:05:31,758 --> 00:05:33,426 ruin my life. 225 00:05:33,426 --> 00:05:34,844 God, why is this 226 00:05:33,426 --> 00:05:34,844 happening to me? 227 00:05:34,844 --> 00:05:36,763 It's karma. 228 00:05:36,763 --> 00:05:40,558 No, it's not Karma. 229 00:05:36,763 --> 00:05:40,558 She's stripping in Vegas. 230 00:05:36,763 --> 00:05:40,558 Plus, we're good. 231 00:05:42,144 --> 00:05:43,603 Look, if you want to 232 00:05:42,144 --> 00:05:43,603 figure out who it is, 233 00:05:43,603 --> 00:05:45,981 why don't you just start 234 00:05:43,603 --> 00:05:45,981 by checking your list? 235 00:05:45,981 --> 00:05:47,649 My list? 236 00:05:47,649 --> 00:05:49,985 Dude, do not pretend 237 00:05:47,649 --> 00:05:49,985 you're not the kind of guy 238 00:05:49,985 --> 00:05:52,154 who keeps a list 239 00:05:49,985 --> 00:05:52,154 of all the girls 240 00:05:49,985 --> 00:05:52,154 he's slept with. 241 00:05:52,154 --> 00:05:53,655 I have one. 242 00:05:53,655 --> 00:05:55,907 It's called 243 00:05:53,655 --> 00:05:55,907 my marriage license. 244 00:05:57,033 --> 00:05:59,035 Come on, 245 00:05:57,033 --> 00:05:59,035 let's see the list. 246 00:05:59,035 --> 00:06:01,537 Ted, don't be crass. 247 00:06:01,537 --> 00:06:03,623 I would never demean the women 248 00:06:01,537 --> 00:06:03,623 that I've slept with 249 00:06:03,623 --> 00:06:06,793 by putting their names 250 00:06:03,623 --> 00:06:06,793 on some tawdry list. 251 00:06:06,793 --> 00:06:09,587 This is a scrapbook 252 00:06:06,793 --> 00:06:09,587 of all of the women 253 00:06:06,793 --> 00:06:09,587 I've slept with. 254 00:06:09,587 --> 00:06:11,422 I made it at the 255 00:06:09,587 --> 00:06:11,422 Scrapbook Barn on 7th. 256 00:06:11,422 --> 00:06:13,758 Ask for Heloise. 257 00:06:11,422 --> 00:06:13,758 Tell her I sent you. 258 00:06:15,551 --> 00:06:18,554 What do you think, Lil? 259 00:06:15,551 --> 00:06:18,554 You recognize the saboteur? 260 00:06:18,554 --> 00:06:20,765 I don't know, Barney. 261 00:06:18,554 --> 00:06:20,765 I only saw her face. 262 00:06:22,475 --> 00:06:24,269 How many of these girls know 263 00:06:22,475 --> 00:06:24,269 they're being photographed? 264 00:06:24,269 --> 00:06:28,106 All of them, but only 265 00:06:24,269 --> 00:06:28,106 about half buy a copy 266 00:06:24,269 --> 00:06:28,106 on the way out. 267 00:06:28,106 --> 00:06:30,025 Oh, Barney, 268 00:06:28,106 --> 00:06:30,025 you're never 269 00:06:28,106 --> 00:06:30,025 gonna figure out 270 00:06:30,025 --> 00:06:31,985 which of these 271 00:06:30,025 --> 00:06:31,985 is the mystery woman. 272 00:06:31,985 --> 00:06:33,987 All of these women 273 00:06:31,985 --> 00:06:33,987 have a right to hate you. 274 00:06:33,987 --> 00:06:35,738 Oh, Lily, come on, 275 00:06:33,987 --> 00:06:35,738 lighten up. 276 00:06:35,738 --> 00:06:38,074 I mean, any girl 277 00:06:35,738 --> 00:06:38,074 who's gonna be 278 00:06:35,738 --> 00:06:38,074 with a guy like Barney 279 00:06:38,074 --> 00:06:41,911 and do this or that, 280 00:06:38,074 --> 00:06:41,911 or this and that, 281 00:06:41,911 --> 00:06:44,789 or do this with 282 00:06:41,911 --> 00:06:44,789 those in that... 283 00:06:44,789 --> 00:06:46,791 I mean, she should have known 284 00:06:44,789 --> 00:06:46,791 what she was getting into. 285 00:06:46,791 --> 00:06:48,751 Absolutely. 286 00:06:48,751 --> 00:06:52,755 And what I do with these women 287 00:06:48,751 --> 00:06:52,755 should be between me and them. 288 00:06:54,007 --> 00:06:56,634 And you guys. 289 00:06:54,007 --> 00:06:56,634 And Heloise. 290 00:06:56,634 --> 00:06:59,137 She helped me 291 00:06:56,634 --> 00:06:59,137 do the decoupage. 292 00:06:59,137 --> 00:07:01,556 I don't know, Barney. 293 00:06:59,137 --> 00:07:01,556 I don't recognize 294 00:06:59,137 --> 00:07:01,556 any of these women. 295 00:07:01,556 --> 00:07:05,643 I mean, 296 00:07:01,556 --> 00:07:05,643 some minor celebrities, 297 00:07:01,556 --> 00:07:05,643 one government official, 298 00:07:05,643 --> 00:07:09,147 and what appears to be 299 00:07:05,643 --> 00:07:09,147 a national 300 00:07:05,643 --> 00:07:09,147 fast-food-chain mascot. 301 00:07:10,773 --> 00:07:13,735 This is impossible. 302 00:07:10,773 --> 00:07:13,735 There's too many girls. 303 00:07:13,735 --> 00:07:16,029 How the hell 304 00:07:13,735 --> 00:07:16,029 am I gonna narrow 305 00:07:13,735 --> 00:07:16,029 this down? 306 00:07:16,029 --> 00:07:19,532 The top 64 women 307 00:07:16,029 --> 00:07:19,532 I've slept with, 308 00:07:16,029 --> 00:07:19,532 split into four regions. 309 00:07:19,532 --> 00:07:21,826 This tournament 310 00:07:19,532 --> 00:07:21,826 will systematically 311 00:07:19,532 --> 00:07:21,826 narrow down 312 00:07:21,826 --> 00:07:23,786 which girl 313 00:07:21,826 --> 00:07:23,786 has the most cause 314 00:07:21,826 --> 00:07:23,786 to hate my guts. 315 00:07:23,786 --> 00:07:26,122 Last girl standing 316 00:07:23,786 --> 00:07:26,122 has to be the saboteur. 317 00:07:26,122 --> 00:07:27,790 Absolutely not, Barney. 318 00:07:27,790 --> 00:07:29,876 We are not going to 319 00:07:27,790 --> 00:07:29,876 make a game 320 00:07:27,790 --> 00:07:29,876 out of the women 321 00:07:29,876 --> 00:07:32,545 you've tricked 322 00:07:29,876 --> 00:07:32,545 into sleeping with you. 323 00:07:36,091 --> 00:07:37,592 No way! 324 00:07:37,592 --> 00:07:39,677 The girl who thought 325 00:07:37,592 --> 00:07:39,677 he had 12 hours to live 326 00:07:39,677 --> 00:07:42,931 has way more cause 327 00:07:39,677 --> 00:07:42,931 to ruin his life than the girl 328 00:07:39,677 --> 00:07:42,931 he fake proposed to. 329 00:07:42,931 --> 00:07:46,976 It's Fake Proposal Girl. 330 00:07:42,931 --> 00:07:46,976 I mean, she hired 331 00:07:42,931 --> 00:07:46,976 a wedding planner! 332 00:07:46,976 --> 00:07:49,562 It's 12 Hours to Live! 333 00:07:46,976 --> 00:07:49,562 That girl flew 334 00:07:46,976 --> 00:07:49,562 them both to Paris! 335 00:07:49,562 --> 00:07:50,939 Oh, she only bought him 336 00:07:49,562 --> 00:07:50,939 a one-way ticket! 337 00:07:52,523 --> 00:07:54,776 Okay, everybody! 338 00:07:52,523 --> 00:07:54,776 Hands. 339 00:07:54,776 --> 00:07:56,111 12 Hours to Live! 340 00:07:54,776 --> 00:07:56,111 12 Hours to Live! 341 00:07:56,111 --> 00:07:57,695 Damn it! 342 00:07:58,947 --> 00:08:00,823 Okay, toss-up. 343 00:08:00,823 --> 00:08:03,659 Thought I Was Jorge Posada 344 00:08:00,823 --> 00:08:03,659 or You Have 345 00:08:00,823 --> 00:08:03,659 My Dead Wife's Kidney? 346 00:08:03,659 --> 00:08:05,828 Kidney! 347 00:08:03,659 --> 00:08:05,828 Jorge Posada! 348 00:08:05,828 --> 00:08:08,331 She bought 349 00:08:05,828 --> 00:08:08,331 Yankees season tickets 350 00:08:05,828 --> 00:08:08,331 to watch him play! 351 00:08:08,331 --> 00:08:09,958 That's true... 352 00:08:08,331 --> 00:08:09,958 It's Dead Wife's Kidney. 353 00:08:09,958 --> 00:08:12,168 How are we even 354 00:08:09,958 --> 00:08:12,168 discussing this? 355 00:08:13,128 --> 00:08:15,130 Fake Baby! 356 00:08:13,128 --> 00:08:15,130 Lost At Sea! 357 00:08:15,130 --> 00:08:16,756 Fake Baby! 358 00:08:15,130 --> 00:08:16,756 Lost At Sea! 359 00:08:16,756 --> 00:08:19,926 I was there. 360 00:08:16,756 --> 00:08:19,926 Trust me. 361 00:08:19,926 --> 00:08:21,636 It's Fake Baby. 362 00:08:22,971 --> 00:08:24,389 Down to the sweet 16. 363 00:08:24,389 --> 00:08:26,349 And coming out of 364 00:08:24,389 --> 00:08:26,349 the Upper West Side, 365 00:08:26,349 --> 00:08:29,394 we have the number three seed, 366 00:08:26,349 --> 00:08:29,394 Girl Who Thought 367 00:08:26,349 --> 00:08:29,394 I Owned Google, 368 00:08:29,394 --> 00:08:30,895 up against 369 00:08:29,394 --> 00:08:30,895 the number seven seed, 370 00:08:30,895 --> 00:08:33,564 Girl Who Thought 371 00:08:30,895 --> 00:08:33,564 I Was a Scuba Instructor. 372 00:08:33,564 --> 00:08:34,899 You got to go 373 00:08:33,564 --> 00:08:34,899 Scuba Instructor. 374 00:08:34,899 --> 00:08:36,025 You're kidding me! 375 00:08:36,025 --> 00:08:37,152 She got the bends! 376 00:08:37,152 --> 00:08:38,611 Yeah, she did. 377 00:08:39,529 --> 00:08:42,740 Boo! 378 00:08:42,740 --> 00:08:44,867 Evil Twin! 379 00:08:42,740 --> 00:08:44,867 Prince of Norway! 380 00:08:44,867 --> 00:08:46,953 How could it not be 381 00:08:44,867 --> 00:08:46,953 Prince of Norway? 382 00:08:46,953 --> 00:08:49,164 Barney, you're 383 00:08:46,953 --> 00:08:49,164 the tie-breaker. 384 00:08:49,164 --> 00:08:50,165 I'm going with Evil Twin. 385 00:08:50,165 --> 00:08:51,916 You're kidding me! 386 00:08:51,916 --> 00:08:54,461 Sorry, but I did sleep 387 00:08:51,916 --> 00:08:54,461 with that girl twice. 388 00:08:54,461 --> 00:08:56,754 As Barney and Larney. 389 00:09:02,552 --> 00:09:05,430 Okay, we're down 390 00:09:02,552 --> 00:09:05,430 to the final four. 391 00:09:05,430 --> 00:09:07,974 What do you think, people? 392 00:09:05,430 --> 00:09:07,974 Come on, dig deep. 393 00:09:07,974 --> 00:09:11,602 Oh! I can't decide. 394 00:09:07,974 --> 00:09:11,602 It could be 395 00:09:07,974 --> 00:09:11,602 any one of them. 396 00:09:11,602 --> 00:09:14,897 Is that the blackboard 397 00:09:11,602 --> 00:09:14,897 from my classroom? 398 00:09:14,897 --> 00:09:16,899 Come on! Marshall? 399 00:09:16,899 --> 00:09:18,693 I'm tired and sad. 400 00:09:20,069 --> 00:09:21,863 Mosby? 401 00:09:21,863 --> 00:09:25,200 I want to call my mom, 402 00:09:21,863 --> 00:09:25,200 just tell her I love her. 403 00:09:27,618 --> 00:09:31,039 Okay. Then this 404 00:09:27,618 --> 00:09:31,039 is as far as we get. 405 00:09:31,039 --> 00:09:32,915 The final four. 406 00:09:32,915 --> 00:09:38,671 It's got to be Meg, 407 00:09:32,915 --> 00:09:38,671 Anna, Kate or Holly. 408 00:09:38,671 --> 00:09:40,673 We are gonna 409 00:09:38,671 --> 00:09:40,673 track these girls down, 410 00:09:40,673 --> 00:09:42,884 and you're going to tell me 411 00:09:40,673 --> 00:09:42,884 which one approached you 412 00:09:40,673 --> 00:09:42,884 at the bar. 413 00:09:42,884 --> 00:09:45,136 You guys stole 414 00:09:42,884 --> 00:09:45,136 my blackboard! 415 00:09:52,394 --> 00:09:53,644 Okay, there's her building. 416 00:09:53,644 --> 00:09:55,688 When she comes out, 417 00:09:53,644 --> 00:09:55,688 I'm gonna hide, 418 00:09:55,688 --> 00:09:57,607 and once you figure out 419 00:09:55,688 --> 00:09:57,607 if she's the girl 420 00:09:55,688 --> 00:09:57,607 from the bar, 421 00:09:57,607 --> 00:09:59,234 we run like hell. 422 00:09:57,607 --> 00:09:59,234 No. 423 00:09:59,234 --> 00:10:01,777 What do you mean, no? 424 00:10:01,777 --> 00:10:04,531 That woman, like every woman 425 00:10:01,777 --> 00:10:04,531 in your final four, 426 00:10:01,777 --> 00:10:04,531 deserves an apology, 427 00:10:04,531 --> 00:10:07,867 and I'm not telling you 428 00:10:04,531 --> 00:10:07,867 if she's the one until 429 00:10:04,531 --> 00:10:07,867 I hear you say, "I'm sorry." 430 00:10:07,867 --> 00:10:09,827 Are you nuts? 431 00:10:09,827 --> 00:10:12,581 That would involve 432 00:10:09,827 --> 00:10:12,581 me speaking to a woman 433 00:10:09,827 --> 00:10:12,581 I've already had sex with, 434 00:10:12,581 --> 00:10:16,125 which, frankly, 435 00:10:12,581 --> 00:10:16,125 is a little bit like changing 436 00:10:12,581 --> 00:10:16,125 the oil in a rental car. 437 00:10:16,125 --> 00:10:17,919 Barney, 438 00:10:16,125 --> 00:10:17,919 you're doing this. 439 00:10:17,919 --> 00:10:19,921 Lily, this girl hates me. 440 00:10:19,921 --> 00:10:22,798 I hooked up with her 441 00:10:19,921 --> 00:10:22,798 in an apartment 442 00:10:19,921 --> 00:10:22,798 I was pretending was my own, 443 00:10:22,798 --> 00:10:25,427 told her I loved her 444 00:10:22,798 --> 00:10:25,427 and then ditched her there. 445 00:10:25,427 --> 00:10:26,969 She got arrested 446 00:10:25,427 --> 00:10:26,969 for trespassing, 447 00:10:26,969 --> 00:10:30,432 bit a cop and 448 00:10:26,969 --> 00:10:30,432 spent eight days in jail. 449 00:10:30,432 --> 00:10:33,101 Oh, crap, there she is! 450 00:10:30,432 --> 00:10:33,101 If she sees me, 451 00:10:30,432 --> 00:10:33,101 she's gonna kill me! 452 00:10:33,101 --> 00:10:35,562 Okay, here's what 453 00:10:33,101 --> 00:10:35,562 we're gonna do. 454 00:10:33,101 --> 00:10:35,562 Hey, Meg! 455 00:10:35,562 --> 00:10:37,313 Over here! 456 00:10:35,562 --> 00:10:37,313 Look who it is! 457 00:10:37,313 --> 00:10:39,274 Your old friend Barney! 458 00:10:45,029 --> 00:10:46,948 Barney? 459 00:10:46,948 --> 00:10:49,117 If she kills me, 460 00:10:46,948 --> 00:10:49,117 I want you to go 461 00:10:46,948 --> 00:10:49,117 into my apartment, 462 00:10:49,117 --> 00:10:52,161 grab the metal briefcase 463 00:10:49,117 --> 00:10:52,161 under my bed and 464 00:10:49,117 --> 00:10:52,161 throw it in the East River. 465 00:10:52,161 --> 00:10:53,622 What are 466 00:10:52,161 --> 00:10:53,622 you doing here? 467 00:10:53,622 --> 00:10:54,997 Look, Meg, 468 00:10:53,622 --> 00:10:54,997 we need to talk. 469 00:10:56,749 --> 00:10:58,668 It was all my fault. 470 00:10:59,669 --> 00:11:01,712 I know it was, baby. 471 00:11:01,712 --> 00:11:04,466 I just came on 472 00:11:01,712 --> 00:11:04,466 too strong. 473 00:11:04,466 --> 00:11:06,092 And I forgive you. 474 00:11:06,092 --> 00:11:08,136 I love you. 475 00:11:08,136 --> 00:11:11,598 Oh, my God! 476 00:11:08,136 --> 00:11:11,598 I love you, too! 477 00:11:11,598 --> 00:11:13,975 No! 478 00:11:11,598 --> 00:11:13,975 What's the matter 479 00:11:11,598 --> 00:11:13,975 with you? 480 00:11:13,975 --> 00:11:17,186 Get off of him! 481 00:11:17,186 --> 00:11:20,649 Look, she's not the one, 482 00:11:17,186 --> 00:11:20,649 but you still owe her an... 483 00:11:28,281 --> 00:11:30,199 So you remember 484 00:11:28,281 --> 00:11:30,199 who this one is, right? 485 00:11:30,199 --> 00:11:32,368 Yes. You told her 486 00:11:30,199 --> 00:11:32,368 you were Ted and that 487 00:11:30,199 --> 00:11:32,368 you were an architect. 488 00:11:32,368 --> 00:11:33,869 Right, and if you recall, 489 00:11:33,869 --> 00:11:36,080 her computer had a webcam 490 00:11:33,869 --> 00:11:36,080 and a T1 line, so I... 491 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:38,500 Yeah, I know, Barney, 492 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:38,500 you showed me. 493 00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:41,461 And that still 494 00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:41,461 doesn't count as 495 00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:41,461 a Christmas present. 496 00:11:41,461 --> 00:11:43,672 Go over there 497 00:11:41,461 --> 00:11:43,672 and apologize. 498 00:11:44,589 --> 00:11:46,132 There she is. 499 00:11:46,132 --> 00:11:47,676 Oh, and she's 500 00:11:46,132 --> 00:11:47,676 holding hot coffee. 501 00:11:47,676 --> 00:11:49,802 Maybe she'll 502 00:11:47,676 --> 00:11:49,802 throw it 503 00:11:47,676 --> 00:11:49,802 in your face. 504 00:11:49,802 --> 00:11:51,596 You're really enjoying this, 505 00:11:49,802 --> 00:11:51,596 aren't you? 506 00:11:51,596 --> 00:11:53,640 I'm making 507 00:11:51,596 --> 00:11:53,640 a scrapbook. 508 00:11:56,851 --> 00:11:58,186 Anna, hi. 509 00:11:58,186 --> 00:12:01,690 Look who it is, 510 00:11:58,186 --> 00:12:01,690 Mr. Big-shot Architect. 511 00:12:01,690 --> 00:12:04,526 If you're here to ask me 512 00:12:01,690 --> 00:12:04,526 to take down 513 00:12:01,690 --> 00:12:04,526 the Web site, forget it. 514 00:12:04,526 --> 00:12:05,610 What Web site? 515 00:12:05,610 --> 00:12:07,862 TedMosbylsAJerk.com. 516 00:12:09,113 --> 00:12:11,700 You're right, 517 00:12:09,113 --> 00:12:11,700 I do deserve that. 518 00:12:12,742 --> 00:12:15,453 That's all 519 00:12:12,742 --> 00:12:15,453 I came here to say. 520 00:12:15,453 --> 00:12:18,873 You know what? 521 00:12:15,453 --> 00:12:18,873 I don't care 522 00:12:15,453 --> 00:12:18,873 who knows about it. 523 00:12:18,873 --> 00:12:21,000 Excuse me. Excuse me. 524 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:26,172 I, Ted Mosby, 525 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:26,172 am a jerk to women. 526 00:12:26,172 --> 00:12:30,552 Tell your sisters, 527 00:12:26,172 --> 00:12:30,552 tell your daughters 528 00:12:26,172 --> 00:12:30,552 to stay away! 529 00:12:31,927 --> 00:12:36,015 TedMosbylsAJerk.com. 530 00:12:36,015 --> 00:12:40,102 And that 531 00:12:36,015 --> 00:12:40,102 little Web site went on 532 00:12:36,015 --> 00:12:40,102 to get 400,000 hits. 533 00:12:40,102 --> 00:12:41,730 Thanks, Barney. 534 00:12:46,526 --> 00:12:47,902 Here, which one 535 00:12:46,526 --> 00:12:47,902 is this again? 536 00:12:47,902 --> 00:12:49,070 She's... 537 00:12:49,070 --> 00:12:51,072 Larney! Die! 538 00:12:52,615 --> 00:12:53,783 Is it her? 539 00:12:53,783 --> 00:12:55,493 Die! 540 00:12:53,783 --> 00:12:55,493 Smile. 541 00:12:56,911 --> 00:13:00,081 You look good. 542 00:12:56,911 --> 00:13:00,081 Have you lost weight? 543 00:13:04,919 --> 00:13:07,672 We're down to 544 00:13:04,919 --> 00:13:07,672 the number one seed. 545 00:13:07,672 --> 00:13:10,508 I knew it was Holly. 546 00:13:07,672 --> 00:13:10,508 It had to be Holly. 547 00:13:10,508 --> 00:13:12,719 Man, I was hoping 548 00:13:10,508 --> 00:13:12,719 it wasn't Holly. 549 00:13:20,435 --> 00:13:23,563 Barney, did you hear that? 550 00:13:20,435 --> 00:13:23,563 Somebody's 551 00:13:20,435 --> 00:13:23,563 stealing my truck. 552 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:25,940 Barney? 553 00:13:28,443 --> 00:13:30,528 Barney! 554 00:13:36,534 --> 00:13:38,703 That is the worst thing 555 00:13:36,534 --> 00:13:38,703 you've ever done. 556 00:13:38,703 --> 00:13:40,913 That is the worst thing 557 00:13:38,703 --> 00:13:40,913 anyone has ever done. 558 00:13:40,913 --> 00:13:45,293 But in my defense, 559 00:13:40,913 --> 00:13:45,293 she was 560 00:13:40,913 --> 00:13:45,293 kind of annoying. 561 00:13:47,044 --> 00:13:48,797 She's gonna kill you. 562 00:13:50,632 --> 00:13:52,007 Barney. 563 00:13:50,632 --> 00:13:52,007 Holly. 564 00:13:53,551 --> 00:13:55,303 Mark, come over here. 565 00:13:57,054 --> 00:14:00,475 Barney, this is 566 00:13:57,054 --> 00:14:00,475 my fiance. Mark. 567 00:14:00,475 --> 00:14:04,103 Barney? You're the Barney 568 00:14:00,475 --> 00:14:04,103 who ditched 569 00:14:00,475 --> 00:14:04,103 her in the woods? 570 00:14:07,940 --> 00:14:10,485 So you're not mad 571 00:14:07,940 --> 00:14:10,485 at Barney? 572 00:14:10,485 --> 00:14:12,570 Don't you want an apology? 573 00:14:12,570 --> 00:14:16,115 An admission of guilt? 574 00:14:12,570 --> 00:14:16,115 Your truck back? 575 00:14:16,115 --> 00:14:18,576 No, whatever happened 576 00:14:16,115 --> 00:14:18,576 was in the past 577 00:14:18,576 --> 00:14:21,245 and Mark is my 578 00:14:18,576 --> 00:14:21,245 present and my future. 579 00:14:21,245 --> 00:14:22,997 And if you 580 00:14:21,245 --> 00:14:22,997 ditching Holly 581 00:14:21,245 --> 00:14:22,997 in the woods 582 00:14:22,997 --> 00:14:25,916 made her stop 583 00:14:22,997 --> 00:14:25,916 running around 584 00:14:22,997 --> 00:14:25,916 with guys like you, 585 00:14:25,916 --> 00:14:29,128 then cheers. 586 00:14:29,128 --> 00:14:31,130 Well, then, to the last 587 00:14:29,128 --> 00:14:31,130 Fourth of July weekend 588 00:14:31,130 --> 00:14:34,676 I'll spend getting eaten alive 589 00:14:31,130 --> 00:14:34,676 by mosquitoes. 590 00:14:34,676 --> 00:14:36,803 Fourth of July? 591 00:14:36,803 --> 00:14:38,763 We started dating in June. 592 00:14:43,434 --> 00:14:46,729 We ruined their lives. 593 00:14:43,434 --> 00:14:46,729 And the worst part of it 594 00:14:46,729 --> 00:14:49,732 is that you didn't apologize 595 00:14:46,729 --> 00:14:49,732 to any of those women. 596 00:14:49,732 --> 00:14:52,527 No, the worst part is that 597 00:14:49,732 --> 00:14:52,527 we still have no idea 598 00:14:49,732 --> 00:14:52,527 who my stalker is. 599 00:14:52,527 --> 00:14:55,070 Well, that's because 600 00:14:52,527 --> 00:14:55,070 you're going 601 00:14:52,527 --> 00:14:55,070 about this all wrong. 602 00:14:55,070 --> 00:14:57,782 I mean, why chase someone 603 00:14:55,070 --> 00:14:57,782 who's following you? 604 00:14:57,782 --> 00:14:59,950 All you need to do 605 00:14:57,782 --> 00:14:59,950 is go down to the bar, 606 00:14:59,950 --> 00:15:03,245 hit on someone, 607 00:14:59,950 --> 00:15:03,245 and wait until 608 00:14:59,950 --> 00:15:03,245 she turns up. 609 00:15:03,245 --> 00:15:05,039 That's not a bad idea. 610 00:15:05,039 --> 00:15:07,709 Oh, oh. I'll pretend 611 00:15:05,039 --> 00:15:07,709 to be the girl 612 00:15:05,039 --> 00:15:07,709 that you're hitting on. 613 00:15:07,709 --> 00:15:10,920 I don't know. 614 00:15:07,709 --> 00:15:10,920 That's a lot riding on a girl 615 00:15:07,709 --> 00:15:10,920 who giggles when she lies. 616 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:12,505 I do not. 617 00:15:12,505 --> 00:15:14,089 Have you ever fallen asleep 618 00:15:12,505 --> 00:15:14,089 while eating ribs? 619 00:15:14,089 --> 00:15:16,676 No. 620 00:15:18,761 --> 00:15:20,805 Look, I can do this, okay? 621 00:15:20,805 --> 00:15:24,183 I mean, how else are you going 622 00:15:20,805 --> 00:15:24,183 to find out who this girl is? 623 00:15:24,183 --> 00:15:25,976 I'm in. 624 00:15:24,183 --> 00:15:25,976 Okay. 625 00:15:25,976 --> 00:15:28,521 Here's how 626 00:15:25,976 --> 00:15:28,521 it's gonna work. 627 00:15:25,976 --> 00:15:28,521 Now, Lily, 628 00:15:28,521 --> 00:15:31,691 she knows what you look like, 629 00:15:28,521 --> 00:15:31,691 so just hang 630 00:15:28,521 --> 00:15:31,691 out at the jukebox, 631 00:15:31,691 --> 00:15:34,527 and don't draw 632 00:15:31,691 --> 00:15:34,527 any attention to yourself. 633 00:15:38,865 --> 00:15:40,742 And the guys 634 00:15:38,865 --> 00:15:40,742 will be in the booth, 635 00:15:40,742 --> 00:15:44,370 just pretending to have 636 00:15:40,742 --> 00:15:44,370 a normal conversation. 637 00:15:44,370 --> 00:15:47,582 Talking, we should 638 00:15:44,370 --> 00:15:47,582 be talking. Words. 639 00:15:44,370 --> 00:15:47,582 Here are words. 640 00:15:47,582 --> 00:15:49,250 Why is this so hard? 641 00:15:50,585 --> 00:15:52,378 Laughter! 642 00:15:52,378 --> 00:15:55,256 And then I'll come in, 643 00:15:52,378 --> 00:15:55,256 looking hot as all hell. 644 00:15:59,802 --> 00:16:04,098 Wow, you are gorgeous. 645 00:15:59,802 --> 00:16:04,098 Oh, God, 646 00:15:59,802 --> 00:16:04,098 I know that's awful. 647 00:16:04,098 --> 00:16:05,767 I just... 648 00:16:04,098 --> 00:16:05,767 Go away. 649 00:16:06,976 --> 00:16:08,686 But come back later. 650 00:16:10,897 --> 00:16:13,691 And then Barney 651 00:16:10,897 --> 00:16:13,691 will make his move. 652 00:16:13,691 --> 00:16:16,360 Hey, there, 653 00:16:13,691 --> 00:16:16,360 how are you doing? 654 00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:18,571 Fine, Barney. 655 00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:18,571 I mean... 656 00:16:18,571 --> 00:16:21,908 Fine, stranger. 657 00:16:21,908 --> 00:16:25,327 Wow, you really 658 00:16:21,908 --> 00:16:25,327 are awful at this, 659 00:16:21,908 --> 00:16:25,327 aren't you? 660 00:16:25,327 --> 00:16:27,162 Get your hand 661 00:16:25,327 --> 00:16:27,162 off my thigh, Barney. 662 00:16:27,162 --> 00:16:30,124 It's supposed to 663 00:16:27,162 --> 00:16:30,124 look like we're about 664 00:16:27,162 --> 00:16:30,124 to hook up, Robin. 665 00:16:30,124 --> 00:16:32,418 You know, I'm curious. 666 00:16:32,418 --> 00:16:35,588 What do you say to 667 00:16:32,418 --> 00:16:35,588 these girls to get them 668 00:16:32,418 --> 00:16:35,588 to come home with you? 669 00:16:35,588 --> 00:16:39,592 Usually I just lean in 670 00:16:35,588 --> 00:16:39,592 and whisper this 671 00:16:35,588 --> 00:16:39,592 one thing in their ear. 672 00:16:48,684 --> 00:16:50,770 You're a little turned on 673 00:16:48,684 --> 00:16:50,770 right now, aren't you? 674 00:16:50,770 --> 00:16:52,855 No. 675 00:16:55,107 --> 00:16:56,484 Oh. Look, somebody's 676 00:16:55,107 --> 00:16:56,484 watching us. 677 00:16:56,484 --> 00:16:57,735 Make your move 678 00:16:56,484 --> 00:16:57,735 to the bathroom. 679 00:16:57,735 --> 00:16:59,904 I'm going to go to 680 00:16:57,735 --> 00:16:59,904 the bathroom now, 681 00:16:59,904 --> 00:17:03,574 but when I come back 682 00:16:59,904 --> 00:17:03,574 we'll go to my place 683 00:16:59,904 --> 00:17:03,574 and have sex. 684 00:17:08,078 --> 00:17:09,789 Dude, dude, dude, look. 685 00:17:09,789 --> 00:17:12,583 Blonde girl heading over 686 00:17:09,789 --> 00:17:12,583 to Robin right now. 687 00:17:09,789 --> 00:17:12,583 We are go. 688 00:17:12,583 --> 00:17:14,168 I don't know what to do 689 00:17:12,583 --> 00:17:14,168 with my hands. 690 00:17:14,168 --> 00:17:16,253 What do I normally do 691 00:17:14,168 --> 00:17:16,253 with my hands? 692 00:17:19,799 --> 00:17:22,927 Barney. I brought 693 00:17:19,799 --> 00:17:22,927 a copy of the bracket. 694 00:17:22,927 --> 00:17:24,679 Which one is she? 695 00:17:26,597 --> 00:17:29,725 I don't recognize her. 696 00:17:26,597 --> 00:17:29,725 She's not on the Top 64. 697 00:17:29,725 --> 00:17:31,560 Not even on the bracket. 698 00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:34,772 Wow. Cinderella story, 699 00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:34,772 comes out of nowhere 700 00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:34,772 to win the whole thing. 701 00:17:34,772 --> 00:17:36,190 That'll warm your heart. 702 00:17:36,190 --> 00:17:38,567 Are you okay? 703 00:17:38,567 --> 00:17:40,695 I don't even 704 00:17:38,567 --> 00:17:40,695 recognize her. 705 00:17:42,780 --> 00:17:46,701 Hey. I don't 706 00:17:42,780 --> 00:17:46,701 remember you. 707 00:17:46,701 --> 00:17:49,037 I've spent 708 00:17:46,701 --> 00:17:49,037 the last two days 709 00:17:46,701 --> 00:17:49,037 trying to remember 710 00:17:49,037 --> 00:17:50,872 every girl 711 00:17:49,037 --> 00:17:50,872 that I've slept with 712 00:17:50,872 --> 00:17:52,623 and all of 713 00:17:50,872 --> 00:17:52,623 the horrible things 714 00:17:50,872 --> 00:17:52,623 that I have done to them. 715 00:17:52,623 --> 00:17:55,376 And I have done 716 00:17:52,623 --> 00:17:55,376 some horrible things. 717 00:17:55,376 --> 00:18:00,048 I mean, at one point, 718 00:17:55,376 --> 00:18:00,048 I'm pretty sure 719 00:17:55,376 --> 00:18:00,048 I sold a woman. 720 00:18:00,048 --> 00:18:03,634 I didn't speak the language, 721 00:18:00,048 --> 00:18:03,634 but I shook a guy's hand, 722 00:18:03,634 --> 00:18:06,512 he gave me the keys 723 00:18:03,634 --> 00:18:06,512 to a Mercedes, 724 00:18:03,634 --> 00:18:06,512 and I left her there. 725 00:18:07,555 --> 00:18:09,598 I'm the guy 726 00:18:07,555 --> 00:18:09,598 who keeps a scrapbook 727 00:18:09,598 --> 00:18:11,684 of all of the women 728 00:18:09,598 --> 00:18:11,684 I have slept with, 729 00:18:11,684 --> 00:18:14,144 but I never thought 730 00:18:11,684 --> 00:18:14,144 I was the guy 731 00:18:11,684 --> 00:18:14,144 who would sleep with a girl 732 00:18:14,144 --> 00:18:15,897 and not even remember her. 733 00:18:15,897 --> 00:18:19,025 So from the bottom 734 00:18:15,897 --> 00:18:19,025 of my heart, 735 00:18:15,897 --> 00:18:19,025 for whatever I did to you, 736 00:18:19,025 --> 00:18:20,860 I apologize. 737 00:18:20,860 --> 00:18:22,653 Oh, Barney! 738 00:18:22,653 --> 00:18:25,489 Oh, I'm so proud of you. 739 00:18:26,448 --> 00:18:28,283 That's not her. 740 00:18:28,283 --> 00:18:29,952 I'm so sorry. 741 00:18:28,283 --> 00:18:29,952 What? What? 742 00:18:29,952 --> 00:18:32,413 Barney, I'm sorry, 743 00:18:29,952 --> 00:18:32,413 that's my friend Sally 744 00:18:29,952 --> 00:18:32,413 from work. 745 00:18:32,413 --> 00:18:33,789 We just 746 00:18:32,413 --> 00:18:33,789 ran into each other. 747 00:18:33,789 --> 00:18:36,000 You... So I apologized 748 00:18:33,789 --> 00:18:36,000 for nothing? 749 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,669 Yes, but it was 750 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,669 a great apology. 751 00:18:38,669 --> 00:18:41,005 And a perfect way 752 00:18:38,669 --> 00:18:41,005 to end my scrapbook. 753 00:18:41,005 --> 00:18:44,675 I'm going to call this photo 754 00:18:41,005 --> 00:18:44,675 "Barney's Redemption." 755 00:18:45,885 --> 00:18:49,471 Could you stop 756 00:18:45,885 --> 00:18:49,471 giving me the finger? 757 00:18:49,471 --> 00:18:54,393 you reached for the sky 758 00:18:54,393 --> 00:18:59,148 you reach 759 00:19:07,322 --> 00:19:10,576 Eventually 760 00:19:07,322 --> 00:19:10,576 Barney did figure out 761 00:19:07,322 --> 00:19:10,576 who the mysterious girl was. 762 00:19:10,576 --> 00:19:12,578 But more on that later. 763 00:19:47,362 --> 00:19:50,699 Barney, come back to bed. 764 00:19:50,699 --> 00:19:53,327 You have 765 00:19:50,699 --> 00:19:53,327 a shuttle launch 766 00:19:50,699 --> 00:19:53,327 tomorrow. 767 00:19:53,327 --> 00:19:55,997 And that asteroid 768 00:19:53,327 --> 00:19:55,997 that's headed 769 00:19:53,327 --> 00:19:55,997 for Manhattan, 770 00:19:55,997 --> 00:19:58,415 it's not gonna 771 00:19:55,997 --> 00:19:58,415 destroy itself.