1 00:00:02,390 --> 00:00:05,356 Kids, there is something I wish my dad told me. 2 00:00:05,598 --> 00:00:08,531 The longest pause you will ever experience in your life 3 00:00:08,651 --> 00:00:10,748 is the one that follows asking the question... 4 00:00:10,868 --> 00:00:12,154 Will you marry me? 5 00:00:13,065 --> 00:00:16,663 Your brain goes into overdrive, imaging every possible response. 6 00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:18,584 No. 7 00:00:19,324 --> 00:00:20,547 Oh, God, no. 8 00:00:24,055 --> 00:00:25,835 You want me to marry... 9 00:00:26,428 --> 00:00:27,268 No. 10 00:00:28,303 --> 00:00:30,447 Oh, I'm sorry, Ted. I can't. 11 00:00:30,687 --> 00:00:31,483 Mark Johnson, 12 00:00:31,602 --> 00:00:34,582 the quarterback from your high school football team, already asked me. 13 00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:35,961 What's up, Turd? 14 00:00:36,656 --> 00:00:37,736 It's Ted! 15 00:00:39,079 --> 00:00:40,239 But if you're lucky, 16 00:00:40,359 --> 00:00:43,954 she may answer with the single greatest word in the English language. 17 00:00:44,465 --> 00:00:45,277 Yes. 18 00:00:48,249 --> 00:00:50,693 Sync : Avada 19 00:01:00,502 --> 00:01:03,131 Stella and I spent that summer happily engaged. 20 00:01:03,821 --> 00:01:06,018 Marshall was still coping with unemployment. 21 00:01:06,138 --> 00:01:07,312 What are you doing? 22 00:01:09,476 --> 00:01:11,418 Lily threw herself into her painting. 23 00:01:11,649 --> 00:01:12,981 What are you doing? 24 00:01:14,270 --> 00:01:16,793 Barney was rehabilitating from his bus accident. 25 00:01:16,914 --> 00:01:18,377 What are you doing? 26 00:01:19,682 --> 00:01:22,710 And well, Marshall just kept coping with unemployment. 27 00:01:25,988 --> 00:01:27,367 What are you doing? 28 00:01:28,729 --> 00:01:33,034 And Robin continued to uphold the high journalistic standards of Metro News 1. 29 00:01:33,644 --> 00:01:38,575 Is your favorite brand of dental floss poisoning your entire family? 30 00:01:38,862 --> 00:01:41,238 Tune in at 11:00 for the shocking... 31 00:01:41,969 --> 00:01:42,851 Tooth. 32 00:01:45,732 --> 00:01:47,814 Okay, I officially hate my job. 33 00:01:48,147 --> 00:01:52,076 I'm not a reporter, I'm just someone who shows up at night and scares people. 34 00:01:52,308 --> 00:01:54,518 I'm the bogeyman with a teleprompter. 35 00:01:57,585 --> 00:01:59,630 "Bogeyman with a teleprompter." 36 00:01:59,751 --> 00:02:02,500 That's hilarious! Great joke, Robin, great joke. 37 00:02:02,765 --> 00:02:05,727 Barney, no offense to Robin, but that wasn't that funny. 38 00:02:05,887 --> 00:02:08,342 Are you kidding? That was a great joke. 39 00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:10,996 It's smart, funny, beautiful, the whole package. 40 00:02:11,116 --> 00:02:13,558 It's everything you're afraid to let yourself want. 41 00:02:14,201 --> 00:02:15,363 In a joke. 42 00:02:17,819 --> 00:02:19,942 "Bogeyman with a teleprompter." 43 00:02:20,997 --> 00:02:21,853 Classic. 44 00:02:23,994 --> 00:02:27,536 Okay, what is so urgent that you called me and begged me 45 00:02:27,657 --> 00:02:30,271 to come over at 7:22 in the morning? 46 00:02:30,391 --> 00:02:33,800 I could tell you knew something was up with me, and you're right. 47 00:02:34,100 --> 00:02:37,060 But I can't tell you what it is. I should tell you, but I can't! 48 00:02:37,180 --> 00:02:40,650 I have to. I never will! I'm going to. Let's just drop it. What's up with you? 49 00:02:41,538 --> 00:02:42,805 Barney, just say it. 50 00:02:46,261 --> 00:02:47,900 I think I'm in love with Robin. 51 00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:51,934 Hey, Lily needs some gift ideas for Stella's wedding shower. 52 00:02:52,054 --> 00:02:53,554 Does she like to cook? 53 00:02:55,052 --> 00:02:56,593 Actually, I don't know. 54 00:02:56,891 --> 00:02:58,571 What's her favorite color? 55 00:02:59,624 --> 00:03:01,150 Don't know that either. 56 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:03,883 - Well, does she have any hobbies? - Yes. 57 00:03:04,002 --> 00:03:06,564 She's exactly the kind of person who would have hobbies. 58 00:03:06,843 --> 00:03:08,343 And interests, too. 59 00:03:08,900 --> 00:03:10,585 I am one lucky son of a bitch. 60 00:03:10,705 --> 00:03:11,569 Dude, 61 00:03:11,689 --> 00:03:14,123 you don't know anything about the woman you're marrying. 62 00:03:14,283 --> 00:03:15,177 What? 63 00:03:15,298 --> 00:03:16,794 You're crazy! I know plenty. 64 00:03:17,066 --> 00:03:18,500 What color are her eyes? 65 00:03:19,675 --> 00:03:22,140 The color of the ocean after a storm. 66 00:03:22,300 --> 00:03:23,393 Which is? 67 00:03:26,224 --> 00:03:27,179 Beautiful. 68 00:03:28,896 --> 00:03:30,111 I don't believe it. 69 00:03:30,231 --> 00:03:33,339 I thought you called me over here to uncuff you from your sex swing again, 70 00:03:33,460 --> 00:03:35,072 but you're in love? 71 00:03:35,661 --> 00:03:36,920 That is so sweet! 72 00:03:37,081 --> 00:03:38,395 It's not "sweet." 73 00:03:38,515 --> 00:03:40,428 It's like a disease. 74 00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:43,350 I slept with Robin one time and I caught feelings. 75 00:03:43,861 --> 00:03:45,147 I caught feelings bad. 76 00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:47,337 I used protection and everything. 77 00:03:48,339 --> 00:03:51,910 Barney, you don't "catch" feelings, you just have them. 78 00:03:52,215 --> 00:03:54,538 - And they're good. - They're terrible! 79 00:03:54,816 --> 00:03:56,927 I can't eat, I can't sleep. 80 00:03:57,272 --> 00:04:00,113 She's all I think about. I close my eyes, I see Robin. 81 00:04:00,233 --> 00:04:02,475 I, I hear a song; it reminds me of Robin. 82 00:04:02,635 --> 00:04:03,411 Morning. 83 00:04:03,531 --> 00:04:06,268 I sleep with that chick, I'm thinking about Robin. 84 00:04:07,242 --> 00:04:10,116 Okay, so I don't know every single detail about Stella. 85 00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:12,501 What's really about? Do you not like her or something? 86 00:04:12,622 --> 00:04:15,669 No, Ted, I like Stella lot. She's a Mets fan. 87 00:04:15,830 --> 00:04:16,549 Really? 88 00:04:16,670 --> 00:04:19,061 It's just that everything with you has moved so fast. 89 00:04:19,181 --> 00:04:21,038 You've only known each other a few months. 90 00:04:21,158 --> 00:04:23,494 Don't you think maybe you should slow things down a little bit? 91 00:04:23,614 --> 00:04:25,794 - Get to know each other better? - I'll have a whole life 92 00:04:25,915 --> 00:04:27,507 time to get to know her better. 93 00:04:27,626 --> 00:04:30,450 Right now, I know the one thing that I have to: 94 00:04:31,261 --> 00:04:32,316 that I love her. 95 00:04:32,436 --> 00:04:33,733 You love her? 96 00:04:34,021 --> 00:04:36,144 Barney, how can you be in love, 97 00:04:36,264 --> 00:04:38,551 and still be sleeping with anything that moves? 98 00:04:39,790 --> 00:04:41,635 I'm sorry, I don't follow you. 99 00:04:41,913 --> 00:04:43,347 That's like saying, 100 00:04:43,467 --> 00:04:46,121 "How can an ant carry "20 times its body weight, 101 00:04:46,241 --> 00:04:48,225 but root beer floats are still delicious?" 102 00:04:48,345 --> 00:04:49,825 Are the two even related? 103 00:04:49,985 --> 00:04:50,948 Really? 104 00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:53,627 Barney, you're going to have to stop screwing around 105 00:04:53,748 --> 00:04:55,445 if you want to be Robin's boyfriend. 106 00:04:57,868 --> 00:04:58,864 "Boyfriend"? 107 00:04:58,985 --> 00:05:01,058 I don't want to be Robin's boyfriend. 108 00:05:01,469 --> 00:05:03,103 Well, what do you want, then? 109 00:05:03,263 --> 00:05:05,609 I don't know. I just want to be with her. 110 00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:07,186 All the time. 111 00:05:07,545 --> 00:05:10,415 I want to hear about her day and tell her about mine. 112 00:05:10,761 --> 00:05:13,626 I want to hold her hand and smell her hair. 113 00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:17,133 But I don't want to be her stupid boyfriend. 114 00:05:17,952 --> 00:05:19,866 Barney, what you just described 115 00:05:20,145 --> 00:05:23,519 is a relationship between a boyfriend and a girlfriend. 116 00:05:23,772 --> 00:05:25,818 And a pretty clingy one at that. 117 00:05:26,377 --> 00:05:29,060 Look, Lily, are you going to help me out with this or not? 118 00:05:29,180 --> 00:05:31,073 I'm a kindergarten teacher. 119 00:05:31,193 --> 00:05:34,901 I see a confused, little kid in the corner trying to eat the lefty scissors, 120 00:05:35,021 --> 00:05:37,060 I gotta help the poor, little bastard. 121 00:05:37,329 --> 00:05:39,748 But only if you stop sleeping around. 122 00:05:39,984 --> 00:05:40,795 Deal? 123 00:05:41,978 --> 00:05:42,855 Deal. 124 00:05:43,015 --> 00:05:44,083 Coming up next, 125 00:05:44,204 --> 00:05:48,710 is your local ice cream man actually driving a roving meth lab on wheels? 126 00:05:49,261 --> 00:05:50,941 Stay tuned for the full... 127 00:05:52,491 --> 00:05:53,395 Scoop. 128 00:05:53,516 --> 00:05:54,531 Really? 129 00:05:59,662 --> 00:06:03,463 I know dudes think it's girlie for a guy to cook, but us ladies? 130 00:06:03,969 --> 00:06:06,362 - We find it mighty sexy. - Really? 131 00:06:06,723 --> 00:06:07,657 You know... 132 00:06:08,344 --> 00:06:09,873 My grandma taught me how. 133 00:06:09,993 --> 00:06:11,773 - Oh, yeah, she did. - Yeah. 134 00:06:11,893 --> 00:06:15,005 I had a lot of time after school to watch her cook because 135 00:06:15,273 --> 00:06:16,593 I wasn't good at sports. 136 00:06:17,485 --> 00:06:18,974 I'm on fire right now. 137 00:06:23,963 --> 00:06:25,529 Delicious. What's in this pesto? 138 00:06:25,796 --> 00:06:28,715 Oh, you know, the usual: basil, garlic, olive oil, 139 00:06:28,835 --> 00:06:30,956 but can you guess my secret ingredient? 140 00:06:31,317 --> 00:06:32,234 Peanuts. 141 00:06:32,533 --> 00:06:34,048 Yes. How did you know that? 142 00:06:40,725 --> 00:06:43,232 - OK, let's my think, what else? - You know what, sweetie? 143 00:06:43,392 --> 00:06:46,082 I woke up so early and I had a really long day at work. 144 00:06:46,201 --> 00:06:48,716 And there was that whole thing where you tried to kill me. 145 00:06:48,837 --> 00:06:50,297 Can we please just go to sleep? 146 00:06:50,418 --> 00:06:52,982 No, I clearly need to know more about you. 147 00:06:53,268 --> 00:06:55,173 Let's do firsts. First kiss? 148 00:06:55,856 --> 00:06:57,452 Dale Harris, second grade. 149 00:06:57,719 --> 00:07:00,894 You're talking like peck on the cheek or a full-on passionate making out? 150 00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:03,933 - Passionate making out. - OK, yeah, Dale Harris, second grade. 151 00:07:04,305 --> 00:07:05,702 First time you had sex. 152 00:07:05,822 --> 00:07:07,661 - Dale Harris, second... - Stop it. 153 00:07:07,782 --> 00:07:09,831 Billy Devito, sophomore year of college. 154 00:07:09,990 --> 00:07:10,857 Prude. 155 00:07:11,124 --> 00:07:13,304 Molly McKenzie, junior year of high school. 156 00:07:13,425 --> 00:07:14,276 Slut. 157 00:07:15,214 --> 00:07:17,387 Robin just needs to see this new see of you. 158 00:07:17,702 --> 00:07:19,725 - So just call her up? - Just call her up. 159 00:07:22,513 --> 00:07:23,338 It's... 160 00:07:25,486 --> 00:07:26,444 Hi, Robin. 161 00:07:28,529 --> 00:07:30,875 She wasn't there. I left a voice mail. 162 00:07:31,035 --> 00:07:33,071 You left a voice, but it wasn't male. 163 00:07:33,873 --> 00:07:35,169 Barney, I don't get it. 164 00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:37,672 You've called a million girls a million times. 165 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,433 Yeah, but those were just booty calls. 166 00:07:39,553 --> 00:07:41,773 On a booty call, you barely even have to talk. 167 00:07:42,412 --> 00:07:45,073 Around 9:00 p.m., you say... Hey, baby, it's Barney. 168 00:07:45,192 --> 00:07:47,008 You busy tonight? Sweet. 169 00:07:47,128 --> 00:07:49,285 See you in half an hour? Can't wait. 170 00:07:49,783 --> 00:07:52,272 But the later it gets, the fewer words you need. 171 00:07:52,392 --> 00:07:54,161 Barney. Busy? Sweet. 172 00:07:55,445 --> 00:07:57,214 And by 3:00 in the morning... 173 00:08:02,958 --> 00:08:03,842 Sweet. 174 00:08:05,163 --> 00:08:06,493 A question mark? 175 00:08:06,613 --> 00:08:08,663 You got laid off a question mark? 176 00:08:11,888 --> 00:08:14,592 It's no worse than your super-obvious code words. 177 00:08:16,241 --> 00:08:18,195 - Rhinoceros. - We have to go. 178 00:08:19,698 --> 00:08:21,481 Great. Now we need a new code word. 179 00:08:23,031 --> 00:08:25,664 Ah, ah, it's her, it's Robin. What do I do? 180 00:08:25,897 --> 00:08:27,746 No-no-no-no, aah! Robin... 181 00:08:28,038 --> 00:08:29,742 Great to hear from you. 182 00:08:29,862 --> 00:08:31,961 To what do I owe the pleasure? 183 00:08:32,249 --> 00:08:35,037 You called, went, and hung up. 184 00:08:35,156 --> 00:08:36,287 What do you want? 185 00:08:36,407 --> 00:08:37,516 Help me! 186 00:08:38,206 --> 00:08:39,961 Just ask her something. 187 00:08:41,311 --> 00:08:43,236 How are you feeling today? 188 00:08:43,710 --> 00:08:44,655 Fine. 189 00:08:44,775 --> 00:08:46,265 Something personal. 190 00:08:48,173 --> 00:08:50,960 At what age did you first get your period? 191 00:08:51,957 --> 00:08:53,717 Did you just ask me about about my period? 192 00:08:53,876 --> 00:08:55,262 No, I did not. 193 00:08:56,838 --> 00:08:58,529 Look, Barney, I'm at work right now. 194 00:08:58,649 --> 00:09:00,238 Just ask her out. 195 00:09:01,953 --> 00:09:04,274 Robin, I was wondering if... 196 00:09:06,737 --> 00:09:08,289 Nothing. Gotta go. Bye. 197 00:09:10,753 --> 00:09:12,536 That was just a practical joke. 198 00:09:12,656 --> 00:09:14,459 I'm not really in love with Robin. 199 00:09:14,579 --> 00:09:16,623 You should've seen the look on your face. 200 00:09:16,743 --> 00:09:19,333 There's cameras right there and there and there. 201 00:09:20,798 --> 00:09:24,614 What a legendary prank that we're never going to speak of again. 202 00:09:30,324 --> 00:09:31,148 Gross. 203 00:09:34,110 --> 00:09:36,767 - First movie you ever saw. - Benji,1981. 204 00:09:38,012 --> 00:09:40,648 I watched it recently with Lucy and I just thought, 205 00:09:40,768 --> 00:09:43,363 "Oh, that dog is so dead right now." 206 00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:45,696 What about you? 207 00:09:45,816 --> 00:09:48,750 My dad took me to an old drive-in to see the original Star Wars. 208 00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:51,547 You know, I've actually never seen Star Wars. 209 00:09:51,708 --> 00:09:54,010 She's never seen Star Wars? 210 00:09:54,171 --> 00:09:55,821 Ted, the only people in the universe 211 00:09:55,941 --> 00:09:58,169 who haven't seen Star Wars are the characters, 212 00:09:58,289 --> 00:09:59,891 and that's 'cause they lived them. 213 00:10:00,011 --> 00:10:03,171 - That's 'cause they lived the Star Wars. - You've got to calm down. 214 00:10:03,302 --> 00:10:06,030 I told you. You didn't know this girl well enough. What if... 215 00:10:06,477 --> 00:10:09,647 - you show it to her, she doesn't like it? - Dude, it's just a movie. 216 00:10:10,029 --> 00:10:12,307 Star Warsis your all-time favorite movie, 217 00:10:12,427 --> 00:10:14,734 and whether or not Stella likes it is actually important. 218 00:10:14,854 --> 00:10:17,268 It's like, it's a test of how compatible you guys are. 219 00:10:18,435 --> 00:10:19,563 It's just a movie. 220 00:10:19,726 --> 00:10:21,445 It's just a movie! 221 00:10:21,645 --> 00:10:25,424 121 awesome minutes later 222 00:10:26,432 --> 00:10:28,025 If Stella doesn't like this movie, 223 00:10:28,145 --> 00:10:29,870 - I can't marry her. - You can't. 224 00:10:30,367 --> 00:10:32,460 - You want to watch it again? - I do. 225 00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:41,313 Where are the boys? I thought this was a group thing. 226 00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:44,179 I lied. They're not coming and I'm about to leave. 227 00:10:44,299 --> 00:10:45,259 Why? 228 00:10:45,380 --> 00:10:46,227 Because... 229 00:10:46,386 --> 00:10:48,940 they're not in love with Robin, and neither am I. 230 00:10:49,519 --> 00:10:51,482 I mean, she's great and sweet. 231 00:10:51,822 --> 00:10:54,327 I'm not going to pretend that I haven't noticed her body, 232 00:10:54,447 --> 00:10:56,707 but this is off topic. Good luck. 233 00:10:56,867 --> 00:10:58,467 Wait, wait, I can't do this. 234 00:10:58,586 --> 00:11:00,620 She'll never take me seriously. She thinks I'm some 235 00:11:00,792 --> 00:11:02,009 womanizing idiot. 236 00:11:02,523 --> 00:11:04,543 We both know you're more than that. 237 00:11:05,094 --> 00:11:07,455 How Robin the Barney I met the other day. 238 00:11:07,985 --> 00:11:10,670 You mean the insecure, touchy-feely she-male 239 00:11:10,790 --> 00:11:12,869 who sounded alarmingly close to Ted? 240 00:11:13,559 --> 00:11:15,347 Ted hit that for over a year. 241 00:11:16,497 --> 00:11:17,542 Wish me luck. 242 00:11:18,922 --> 00:11:21,144 I just thought it'd be fun to watch a movie tonight, 243 00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:24,328 and since you've never seen Star Wars, I figured why not? 244 00:11:24,695 --> 00:11:25,740 No big deal. 245 00:11:26,223 --> 00:11:27,422 It's pretty good. 246 00:11:27,798 --> 00:11:29,317 Sounds like a plan. 247 00:11:34,881 --> 00:11:36,829 I'm just grab a beer. You want one? 248 00:11:36,949 --> 00:11:38,945 The movie's already started, so... 249 00:11:39,457 --> 00:11:42,428 It's some words flying through space. I'm not going to read that anyway. 250 00:11:42,588 --> 00:11:43,556 Oh, my God. 251 00:11:43,715 --> 00:11:45,173 Off to a bad start. 252 00:11:46,143 --> 00:11:47,777 What are you doing down there? 253 00:11:47,897 --> 00:11:50,352 I'm making sure my best friend is marrying the right woman. 254 00:11:50,473 --> 00:11:51,781 That's what I'm doing. 255 00:11:51,900 --> 00:11:53,877 What are you doing, hiding behind the couch? 256 00:11:53,997 --> 00:11:55,248 You need to get a job. 257 00:11:57,318 --> 00:11:58,693 I really do, don't I? 258 00:12:00,753 --> 00:12:01,875 So, Robin... 259 00:12:02,821 --> 00:12:04,183 tell me about your day, 260 00:12:04,510 --> 00:12:07,861 and not just what happened, how you felt about what happened. 261 00:12:08,997 --> 00:12:11,435 - What? - I'm not looking to problem-solve, 262 00:12:11,554 --> 00:12:13,119 I'm just looking to listen. 263 00:12:14,964 --> 00:12:17,210 - Why are you acting like this? - Like what? 264 00:12:18,005 --> 00:12:19,763 You're being super nice. It's... 265 00:12:19,884 --> 00:12:21,683 freaking me out. Be... 266 00:12:22,374 --> 00:12:24,748 gross, be inappropriate. Be Barney. 267 00:12:25,180 --> 00:12:26,443 I'm being Barney, 268 00:12:27,197 --> 00:12:29,701 and I think tonight's going to be 269 00:12:29,821 --> 00:12:31,807 de... wait for it... lightful. 270 00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:34,240 Delightful. 271 00:12:35,116 --> 00:12:36,118 Right. 272 00:12:39,922 --> 00:12:42,096 So I went to the chiropractor yesterday. 273 00:12:42,256 --> 00:12:45,562 That guy bent me over the table and pounded me for a good hour. 274 00:12:48,605 --> 00:12:51,144 Is insurance going to cover that? Sometimes they don't. 275 00:12:51,806 --> 00:12:52,852 That's it? 276 00:12:56,752 --> 00:12:58,434 Today I was at the dentist. 277 00:12:58,681 --> 00:13:00,740 That guy drilled me 278 00:13:01,245 --> 00:13:02,573 all day long. 279 00:13:03,425 --> 00:13:04,894 He drilled me hard. 280 00:13:05,848 --> 00:13:07,625 He filled all of my cavities. 281 00:13:08,127 --> 00:13:09,238 Come on, man. 282 00:13:09,796 --> 00:13:12,476 - Your teeth look fantastic. - Who are you? 283 00:13:21,098 --> 00:13:22,099 What? 284 00:13:23,138 --> 00:13:24,140 Nothing. 285 00:13:25,309 --> 00:13:26,824 You were staring at me. 286 00:13:28,396 --> 00:13:30,195 You look really beautiful tonight. 287 00:13:32,009 --> 00:13:34,326 You don't look so bad yourself, mister. 288 00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:36,313 Great scene, great scene. 289 00:13:39,024 --> 00:13:40,679 Star Wars fun fact number seven... 290 00:13:40,839 --> 00:13:42,617 George Lucas based the film's structure 291 00:13:42,737 --> 00:13:44,938 on Akira Kurosawa's The Hidden Fortress. 292 00:13:45,420 --> 00:13:48,111 He also owes a debt to Campbell's work with comparative mythology. 293 00:13:48,271 --> 00:13:50,346 Yeah, Ted, I'm losing wood over here. 294 00:13:50,466 --> 00:13:51,725 What's going on? 295 00:13:52,008 --> 00:13:53,009 Nothing. 296 00:13:54,482 --> 00:13:55,495 Wait, it's 297 00:13:55,765 --> 00:13:58,425 really important to you that I like this movie, isn't it? 298 00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:04,812 I'm not gonna like it with you staring at me the whole time. 299 00:14:05,107 --> 00:14:07,507 Go to your room and I will come get you when it's over. 300 00:14:07,627 --> 00:14:08,629 Go. 301 00:14:15,695 --> 00:14:17,199 Should I leave, too? 302 00:14:18,128 --> 00:14:19,680 What part, what part? 303 00:14:27,730 --> 00:14:28,765 Thanks. 304 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:30,959 Nothing? 305 00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:32,532 Not even a glance? 306 00:14:32,784 --> 00:14:36,347 Even I was thinking about rocking a motorboat on those bad boys. 307 00:14:36,672 --> 00:14:38,300 What the hell is wrong with you? 308 00:14:39,303 --> 00:14:42,588 I don't always want to be that guy. Sometimes I want to be someone 309 00:14:42,708 --> 00:14:44,607 you can have an actual conversation with. 310 00:14:45,809 --> 00:14:48,786 Now, tell me something about you that I don't know yet. 311 00:14:49,468 --> 00:14:50,327 Seriously. 312 00:14:55,376 --> 00:14:57,443 There's a job opening at a new cable network 313 00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,472 that would be perfect for me... 314 00:15:00,363 --> 00:15:04,054 completely legit world news, interviews with people who matter... 315 00:15:05,702 --> 00:15:08,196 - but I decided I'm not going to apply. - Why not? 316 00:15:08,565 --> 00:15:09,803 Because I'm a joke. 317 00:15:10,070 --> 00:15:13,041 I'm just the scary news lady from some stupid local news channel. 318 00:15:14,190 --> 00:15:15,839 We both know you're more than that. 319 00:15:17,168 --> 00:15:18,594 Promise me you'll apply. 320 00:15:19,936 --> 00:15:22,686 - It's not as easy... - Promise me you'll apply. 321 00:15:26,445 --> 00:15:27,455 I promise. 322 00:15:30,433 --> 00:15:32,890 She's up to the scene where Luke, Leia, Han and Chewy escape 323 00:15:33,010 --> 00:15:35,560 - from the Death Star's trash compactor. - Great scene. 324 00:15:36,184 --> 00:15:37,301 Greatscene? 325 00:15:40,081 --> 00:15:42,080 Okay, we should have just heard... 326 00:15:46,653 --> 00:15:49,243 but Stella didn't make a peep. I'm gonna take a look. 327 00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:00,599 She's not even watching. She's texting. 328 00:16:01,191 --> 00:16:03,982 - I'll tell her you still want to be friends. - I don't believe this. 329 00:16:04,250 --> 00:16:07,526 I believe, she knows this is important to me. She's blatantly... 330 00:16:10,823 --> 00:16:12,877 "Stop watching me, jackasses." 331 00:16:14,552 --> 00:16:16,903 - To taking chances. - To taking chances. 332 00:16:20,303 --> 00:16:23,752 You know, Robin, there's actually something, I do want to talk to you about. 333 00:16:24,185 --> 00:16:26,139 - Last call. - Of course it is. 334 00:16:26,530 --> 00:16:28,492 - One more for the road? - Yeah, why not? 335 00:16:29,046 --> 00:16:30,222 Hold that thought? 336 00:16:33,027 --> 00:16:34,028 I will. 337 00:16:42,708 --> 00:16:44,222 - I loved it. - Yes! 338 00:16:45,140 --> 00:16:47,847 I am marrying a woman who is not only hot 339 00:16:47,968 --> 00:16:50,206 but loves Star Wars. That's the dream. 340 00:16:52,533 --> 00:16:55,270 - What was that? - I was high-fiving 15-Year-Old Me 341 00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:57,423 through the space-time continuum. We did it. 342 00:16:57,542 --> 00:17:00,603 We did it, you masturbating little bastard. 343 00:17:00,905 --> 00:17:02,481 Champagne for everybody. 344 00:17:05,673 --> 00:17:06,805 It was so good. 345 00:17:06,926 --> 00:17:09,647 - You hated it, didn't you? - It's so stupid. First of all, 346 00:17:09,768 --> 00:17:12,878 how do they understand that walking bear they hang around with all the time? 347 00:17:13,039 --> 00:17:14,592 - Wookiee. - He goes... 348 00:17:16,477 --> 00:17:18,321 They're all like, "That's a good point, Bear, 349 00:17:18,441 --> 00:17:20,356 - "let's try that." - He's a Wookiee, 350 00:17:20,476 --> 00:17:23,461 and his kind is actually more intelligent than they appear. 351 00:17:26,153 --> 00:17:28,277 That is Ted's favorite movie of all time. 352 00:17:28,398 --> 00:17:30,735 He watches it when he's home sick with the flu. 353 00:17:30,855 --> 00:17:33,787 He watches it on rainy Sunday afternoons in the fall. 354 00:17:34,143 --> 00:17:35,719 He watches it on Christmas Eve. 355 00:17:36,998 --> 00:17:39,903 Ted watches Star Wars in sickness and in health, 356 00:17:40,024 --> 00:17:41,815 in good times and in bad. 357 00:17:42,993 --> 00:17:46,519 Do you really think that you can pretend to like a movie that you actually hate 358 00:17:46,885 --> 00:17:48,366 for the rest of your life? 359 00:17:53,088 --> 00:17:54,089 I do. 360 00:17:56,005 --> 00:17:57,556 Then, Ted's a lucky guy. 361 00:18:02,561 --> 00:18:03,562 Bear. 362 00:18:07,693 --> 00:18:09,092 So, here's the deal. 363 00:18:09,212 --> 00:18:11,830 April, have... you met Barney? 364 00:18:15,129 --> 00:18:17,934 April just finished her shift, she's looking to blow off some steam. 365 00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:22,044 Would you excuse us for one sec? 366 00:18:23,355 --> 00:18:25,851 - What are you doing? - You were so nice to me tonight, 367 00:18:25,971 --> 00:18:28,288 I wanted to return the favor, wingwoman-style. 368 00:18:29,652 --> 00:18:30,877 So, as I was saying, 369 00:18:31,038 --> 00:18:33,402 Barney is the Yankees' new second-baseman. 370 00:18:33,522 --> 00:18:37,460 And Barney, April asked if tomorrow, you could hit a goal for her 371 00:18:37,777 --> 00:18:39,435 during the baseball match. 372 00:18:39,826 --> 00:18:41,608 You can't make this stuff up. 373 00:18:42,597 --> 00:18:44,256 So, you two kids have fun. 374 00:18:47,342 --> 00:18:49,249 So are you... nervous about the game? 375 00:18:49,409 --> 00:18:51,379 Yeah, I'm nervous for the other team 376 00:18:52,574 --> 00:18:54,470 'cause when I step up to that plate... 377 00:18:57,230 --> 00:18:59,145 I am not a New York Yankee. 378 00:19:00,308 --> 00:19:02,962 Any other night, I would probably try to convince you that I am, but I'm not. 379 00:19:03,081 --> 00:19:06,425 I'm just some guy who's in love with the girl that just left, 380 00:19:06,974 --> 00:19:09,512 and she's never going to feel the same way. 381 00:19:11,814 --> 00:19:13,212 So I'm just going to go. 382 00:19:14,506 --> 00:19:15,905 And that was it. 383 00:19:16,025 --> 00:19:17,684 I'm so sorry, Barney. 384 00:19:20,016 --> 00:19:21,298 You can't give up. 385 00:19:21,419 --> 00:19:24,699 You know, it may take some time, but once Robin sees the new you... 386 00:19:25,946 --> 00:19:29,502 When my family gets to Yankee Stadium, are the tickets under your name or mine? 387 00:19:29,662 --> 00:19:32,154 My name, and tell your nephews to bring their mitts. 388 00:19:32,275 --> 00:19:34,095 They're going to be in foul ball country. 389 00:19:36,635 --> 00:19:39,815 Come on. The Robin stuff was completely true. 390 00:19:41,102 --> 00:19:42,322 Damn it, Barney. 391 00:19:42,442 --> 00:19:44,554 I mean, for the last time, 392 00:19:44,674 --> 00:19:46,684 you can't... you can't 393 00:19:46,932 --> 00:19:48,984 be in love with Robin and still be sleeping 394 00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:50,973 with every bimbo on the planet. 395 00:19:51,206 --> 00:19:52,760 You have to choose right now. 396 00:19:55,001 --> 00:19:56,391 - I choose bimbos. - What? 397 00:19:57,632 --> 00:20:00,845 Bimbos make me happy. Bimbos make me feel alive. 398 00:20:01,551 --> 00:20:05,203 Bimbos make me want to pretend to be a better man. 399 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:09,333 This whole thing with Robin was just a fling, but at the end of the day, 400 00:20:09,453 --> 00:20:10,838 my heart belongs to bimbos. 401 00:20:11,776 --> 00:20:14,597 This is just a defense mechanism, because 402 00:20:14,718 --> 00:20:17,853 you're afraid of getting hurt. You're just confused. 403 00:20:18,014 --> 00:20:19,652 Oh, I'm not confused. 404 00:20:20,392 --> 00:20:21,944 You know who is confused? 405 00:20:22,446 --> 00:20:23,445 Bimbos. 406 00:20:23,807 --> 00:20:26,538 They're easily confused. It's one of the thousand little things 407 00:20:26,657 --> 00:20:28,021 I love about them. 408 00:20:28,380 --> 00:20:30,325 I love their vacant, 409 00:20:30,541 --> 00:20:34,297 trusting stares, their sluggish, unencumbered minds, 410 00:20:34,891 --> 00:20:36,783 their unresolved daddy issues. 411 00:20:37,490 --> 00:20:39,775 I love them and they love me. 412 00:20:40,591 --> 00:20:44,248 Bimbos have always been there for me, through thick and thin. 413 00:20:44,928 --> 00:20:47,083 Mostly thin. B- man don't do thick crust. 414 00:20:47,242 --> 00:20:48,210 What up? 415 00:20:48,370 --> 00:20:49,504 See you, Barney.