1
00:00:02,651 --> 00:00:04,495
Kids, in a sophomore year of college,

2
00:00:04,595 --> 00:00:06,485
when Aunt Lily came back
from spring break,

3
00:00:06,585 --> 00:00:08,872
Uncle Marshall surprised her
at the airport.

4
00:00:09,125 --> 00:00:12,058
And she surprised him with a six-pack
of locally brewed beer.

5
00:00:12,206 --> 00:00:14,138
Fort Lau-ger-Dale! Get it?

6
00:00:14,905 --> 00:00:17,085
And with that, a ritual was born.

7
00:00:17,736 --> 00:00:20,542
For the next 11 years, whenever
either of them would fly anywhere...

8
00:00:20,712 --> 00:00:22,817
Minne-Cider!
Get it?

9
00:00:23,457 --> 00:00:26,120
The reunion was always
commemorated with a chauffeur sign

10
00:00:26,220 --> 00:00:28,184
and a six-pack
from wherever they'd been.

11
00:00:28,284 --> 00:00:30,186
Aspen Yards Ale!

12
00:00:30,872 --> 00:00:31,660
Get it?

13
00:00:32,192 --> 00:00:33,628
- Actually, no.
- Me, neither.

14
00:00:33,728 --> 00:00:35,229
I was hoping you would.

15
00:00:35,802 --> 00:00:38,221
But then, one night
in January of 2009,

16
00:00:38,321 --> 00:00:39,584
the unthinkable happened.

17
00:00:39,684 --> 00:00:41,594
- I'm not picking her up.
- What?

18
00:00:42,107 --> 00:00:44,580
Lily doesn't want me taking a cab
all the way to the airport

19
00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:46,992
just to take a cab all the way back,
you know?

20
00:00:47,092 --> 00:00:48,574
But the six-pack thing.

21
00:00:49,620 --> 00:00:51,509
That stuff was fun
when we were younger,

22
00:00:51,609 --> 00:00:53,035
but we've grown past that.

23
00:00:53,150 --> 00:00:56,091
As we mature,
the relationship matures with us.

24
00:00:56,437 --> 00:00:57,147
But...

25
00:00:57,247 --> 00:00:59,538
I mean, you guys are such
an inspiration to the rest of us,

26
00:00:59,638 --> 00:01:01,597
how you're so
devoted and connected.

27
00:01:01,767 --> 00:01:02,818
I look at you guys,

28
00:01:02,918 --> 00:01:04,929
and that's all I want
in the whole world.

29
00:01:05,686 --> 00:01:08,330
There's two college girls outside,
and they look easy!

30
00:01:10,832 --> 00:01:13,568
So, Arizona... You know,
I've always wanted to see

31
00:01:13,668 --> 00:01:15,569
what an Arizona
driver's license looks like.

32
00:01:15,669 --> 00:01:17,728
I already ran that play, bro.
They're 21. We're good.

33
00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:20,042
Thank God. So...
what brings you guys to town?

34
00:01:20,142 --> 00:01:22,632
- Our band's got a gig.
- You're in a band?

35
00:01:22,732 --> 00:01:25,754
- Hey, maybe we'll come see you play.
- Excuse us for a sec.

36
00:01:27,793 --> 00:01:29,385
What the hell is
the matter with you?

37
00:01:29,485 --> 00:01:31,608
- We're not gonna go see them play.
- Why not?

38
00:01:31,945 --> 00:01:33,052
If we see them play,

39
00:01:33,152 --> 00:01:35,414
we're no better than the
bleach-blonde bimbos

40
00:01:35,514 --> 00:01:37,802
who flash their boobs
at a Van Halen concert.

41
00:01:38,069 --> 00:01:41,331
Yeah, but don't those girls get to have
sex with Van Halen after the show?

42
00:01:41,431 --> 00:01:44,214
If you want to have sex with Van Halen,
do it on your own time, Ted.

43
00:01:44,507 --> 00:01:47,132
We are not the
maybe-we-can-come-see-you-play guys.

44
00:01:47,237 --> 00:01:49,335
We're the other guys,
the older guys

45
00:01:49,435 --> 00:01:52,750
who never showed up
and whose approval they now crave.

46
00:01:54,025 --> 00:01:56,145
- So we're their dads?
- Exactly.

47
00:01:59,070 --> 00:02:01,873
It's a big meeting,
so I don't think we're gonna make it.

48
00:02:02,043 --> 00:02:03,570
Maybe next time, kiddos.

49
00:02:03,863 --> 00:02:05,472
But if you guys want to meet up
after your show,

50
00:02:05,473 --> 00:02:07,970
- maybe we could exchange numbers...
- Excuse us for a minute.

51
00:02:10,127 --> 00:02:11,974
Ted, have you gone completely insane?

52
00:02:12,144 --> 00:02:14,017
We don't want their phone numbers.

53
00:02:14,187 --> 00:02:17,013
I don't know what I was doing.
I guess I panicked out there.

54
00:02:17,688 --> 00:02:19,770
When you exchange
numbers with a chick

55
00:02:19,886 --> 00:02:22,431
you give them the ability
to call and cancel.

56
00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:25,774
If you set a date without a number,
they have to show up.

57
00:02:25,874 --> 00:02:28,031
Check and mate!

58
00:02:28,896 --> 00:02:31,091
The only digits I need are these.

59
00:02:33,051 --> 00:02:33,888
Honka.

60
00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:36,600
Are you still their dad?

61
00:02:39,004 --> 00:02:41,715
So, why don't we just meet here
tomorrow night around 10:00.

62
00:02:41,815 --> 00:02:43,770
I think it's supposed to snow.

63
00:02:43,870 --> 00:02:45,609
What do we do if there's a blizzard?

64
00:02:45,709 --> 00:02:47,328
Either way, we'll be here.

65
00:02:47,537 --> 00:02:48,958
"Snow" problem.

66
00:02:50,451 --> 00:02:52,126
Excuse us just one last second.

67
00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:55,483
What is the problem now?

68
00:02:56,536 --> 00:02:57,398
Nice one.

69
00:02:59,491 --> 00:03:01,192
All right, we'll see you
tomorrow night.

70
00:03:01,292 --> 00:03:02,772
- Totally.
- Awesome!

71
00:03:03,236 --> 00:03:04,695
"Totally. Awesome!"

72
00:03:04,803 --> 00:03:06,743
Man, these college chicks
sound stupid.

73
00:03:06,843 --> 00:03:08,025
- Totally.
- Awesome.

74
00:03:08,125 --> 00:03:09,772
So, here's the thing,
tomorrow night,

75
00:03:09,872 --> 00:03:13,011
dress to move.
It's gonna be a mess!

76
00:03:13,216 --> 00:03:15,391
I still think we should've gotten
their numbers.

77
00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:18,143
You always assume
something is gonna go wrong.

78
00:03:18,243 --> 00:03:21,230
Ted, I promise you,
nothing is gonna go wrong.

79
00:03:23,018 --> 00:03:24,623
It's starting to snow.

80
00:03:25,910 --> 00:03:31,984
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

81
00:03:36,669 --> 00:03:39,169
Sync by vNaru

82
00:03:49,754 --> 00:03:52,406
Kids, the blizzard of '09
was a monster.

83
00:03:52,506 --> 00:03:54,350
It snowed for three days straight,

84
00:03:54,450 --> 00:03:57,279
which led to three amazing stories.

85
00:03:57,463 --> 00:03:58,999
I'll start with me and Barney.

86
00:03:59,099 --> 00:04:01,533
It's pretty nasty out there.
I don't think they're coming.

87
00:04:01,703 --> 00:04:03,689
Of course they're coming.
They have to.

88
00:04:03,859 --> 00:04:07,510
If I can land just one of these girls,
I'll have party school bingo.

89
00:04:12,619 --> 00:04:14,536
Come on, Ted.
You're the only one here.

90
00:04:14,706 --> 00:04:16,973
Sorry.
What's party school bingo?

91
00:04:17,688 --> 00:04:21,801
Every year, Playboy releases a list
of the top party schools in the country.

92
00:04:21,971 --> 00:04:24,321
I take the top 25, and I make up...

93
00:04:24,743 --> 00:04:25,964
a bingo card.

94
00:04:26,807 --> 00:04:30,206
All I need is Arizona Tech,
which is crazy.

95
00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:33,698
In league play, that would normally
be designated a free space.

96
00:04:33,868 --> 00:04:36,921
So... how many people are in
on this party school bingo thing?

97
00:04:37,554 --> 00:04:38,538
It's just me.

98
00:04:39,162 --> 00:04:40,612
So what's the point, then?

99
00:04:40,782 --> 00:04:43,729
The point is to get five in a row.

100
00:04:44,837 --> 00:04:47,158
And what do you get
when you get five in a row?

101
00:04:49,677 --> 00:04:51,060
I get bingo.

102
00:04:53,544 --> 00:04:54,781
Thanks for coming by.

103
00:04:54,882 --> 00:04:57,089
I monkeyed around with
the thermostat for about an hour

104
00:04:57,189 --> 00:04:59,336
before I realized it was the intercom.

105
00:04:59,436 --> 00:05:01,535
Yeah, I heard you
swearing downstairs.

106
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,522
Hey, so... Lily's flight's coming
in tonight...

107
00:05:03,622 --> 00:05:05,392
you're really not
gonna go pick her up?

108
00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:09,069
Like I said,

109
00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:12,413
as we mature,
our relationship matures with us.

110
00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:16,709
Yeah, well, if I know your wife, she's
gonna get you that six-pack anyway.

111
00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:25,264
Puget Stout.

112
00:05:25,375 --> 00:05:28,634
A most exquisite Seattle microbrew.

113
00:05:28,804 --> 00:05:30,719
And speaking of six-packs...

114
00:05:37,310 --> 00:05:39,709
- What are you doing?
- I'm going to the airport.

115
00:05:39,879 --> 00:05:42,841
How could I be so stupid?
Of course she's bringing me a six-pack!

116
00:05:43,011 --> 00:05:45,840
But this time,
I didn't bring him a six-pack.

117
00:05:46,143 --> 00:05:50,375
Because... as we mature,
the relationship matures with us.

118
00:05:51,308 --> 00:05:53,742
Well, he sounds like a nice young man.

119
00:05:54,157 --> 00:05:57,483
I'll bet he surprises you
and picks you up anyway.

120
00:06:04,265 --> 00:06:05,566
Where's my beer?

121
00:06:05,676 --> 00:06:07,459
We said we weren't gonna.

122
00:06:09,968 --> 00:06:11,096
I have beer.

123
00:06:11,944 --> 00:06:14,457
A six-pack and you're an appropriate
height for me.

124
00:06:14,557 --> 00:06:15,944
Let's go, New Lily.

125
00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:20,365
I got to get some beer.

126
00:06:20,485 --> 00:06:22,121
Folks, this is your captain speaking.

127
00:06:22,221 --> 00:06:25,467
Looks like we're going to be arriving
an hour early.

128
00:06:27,821 --> 00:06:29,980
Drink up, boys.
I'm closing the bar.

129
00:06:30,737 --> 00:06:33,485
- It's only 9:00.
- And this place is ragin'!

130
00:06:35,215 --> 00:06:38,417
Guys, I'm really sorry, but I got to go
set up cots in the church basement.

131
00:06:38,517 --> 00:06:40,617
It doubles as a shelter
on snowy nights like this.

132
00:06:40,717 --> 00:06:44,694
You selfish bastard! There are two very
hot girls coming here to meet us.

133
00:06:44,794 --> 00:06:47,010
Can't you just leave the place open
a little while longer?

134
00:06:47,110 --> 00:06:49,199
- We'll keep an eye on everything.
- You two? No way.

135
00:06:49,299 --> 00:06:51,402
You wouldn't know the first thing
about running a bar.

136
00:06:51,502 --> 00:06:53,262
Serve the hotties first?

137
00:06:53,839 --> 00:06:55,043
Here's the keys.

138
00:07:00,267 --> 00:07:01,448
Here's the keys.

139
00:07:01,618 --> 00:07:03,006
As soon as your girls show up,

140
00:07:03,106 --> 00:07:04,920
you turn off the lights
and you lock up.

141
00:07:05,020 --> 00:07:07,502
I don't want to come back here
and find this place trashed.

142
00:07:07,602 --> 00:07:08,640
Seriously?

143
00:07:08,740 --> 00:07:09,950
I can trust you guys.

144
00:07:10,050 --> 00:07:12,551
To understand what it meant to us
to get the keys to MacLaren's,

145
00:07:12,651 --> 00:07:14,335
I have to take you back a few years

146
00:07:14,591 --> 00:07:16,442
to the night that I uttered
five little words

147
00:07:16,542 --> 00:07:19,109
that every man at some point
in his life will say.

148
00:07:19,279 --> 00:07:22,870
- We should buy a bar.
- Of course, we should buy a bar!

149
00:07:22,970 --> 00:07:26,175
- We should totally buy a bar.
- We should totally buy a bar.

150
00:07:26,275 --> 00:07:28,617
- Our bar would be awesome.
- And dude...

151
00:07:28,717 --> 00:07:30,448
dude... dude...

152
00:07:30,964 --> 00:07:31,838
dude!

153
00:07:33,190 --> 00:07:34,823
The name of our bar...

154
00:07:35,903 --> 00:07:36,820
Puzzles.

155
00:07:37,775 --> 00:07:40,041
People will be like,
"why is it called Puzzles?"

156
00:07:40,141 --> 00:07:41,578
That's the puzzle.

157
00:07:42,701 --> 00:07:44,201
That is...

158
00:07:45,594 --> 00:07:47,575
a great name for a bar!

159
00:07:48,148 --> 00:07:49,877
And also, at Puzzles,

160
00:07:50,251 --> 00:07:52,565
- no last call.
- No last call!

161
00:07:52,665 --> 00:07:54,831
Only when every single person
is finished

162
00:07:54,951 --> 00:07:56,861
having the greatest night
of his or her life

163
00:07:56,961 --> 00:07:58,514
do we stack the chairs on the table

164
00:07:58,614 --> 00:08:00,659
and power down
the three-story margarita waterfall.

165
00:08:02,045 --> 00:08:04,583
- We should buy a bar.
- We should buy a bar.

166
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,123
And like the other ill-advised
five-word sentences

167
00:08:07,223 --> 00:08:09,053
every man eventually
says in his life...

168
00:08:09,885 --> 00:08:11,442
I can jump that far.

169
00:08:12,306 --> 00:08:13,850
I'm gonna win her back.

170
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:15,799
I can trust you guys.

171
00:08:15,899 --> 00:08:17,427
We would come to regret it.

172
00:08:17,559 --> 00:08:19,252
We just didn't know it yet.

173
00:08:45,182 --> 00:08:47,685
You have it?
Awesome... I'll be right there.

174
00:08:53,804 --> 00:08:55,023
Wait a minute.

175
00:08:55,193 --> 00:08:58,691
If you are getting off the plane,
where is Marshall?

176
00:08:58,861 --> 00:09:01,105
- And where is your six-pack?
- That's the problem.

177
00:09:01,205 --> 00:09:04,603
I have to get to Brewniverse
in East Meadow in an hour.

178
00:09:05,365 --> 00:09:07,427
- To the Town Car!
- Thank you.

179
00:09:08,623 --> 00:09:10,699
Barkeep.
Triple Sec.

180
00:09:11,109 --> 00:09:12,832
Coming right up, tap-minder.

181
00:09:16,477 --> 00:09:17,661
We'll get one.

182
00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:21,528
- Order up.
- Order up.

183
00:09:25,184 --> 00:09:26,344
We'll get one.

184
00:09:26,749 --> 00:09:28,424
Thank God you're still here.

185
00:09:28,524 --> 00:09:30,655
I don't know if you guys
have ever seen Star Wars,

186
00:09:30,755 --> 00:09:32,967
- but it's like Hoth out there.
- Dibs.

187
00:09:33,303 --> 00:09:36,506
It reminds me of when I used
to go sledding with my dad...

188
00:09:36,606 --> 00:09:38,667
- before he left.
- And dibs.

189
00:09:39,363 --> 00:09:41,393
So... can we warm you up
with a drink?

190
00:09:41,493 --> 00:09:42,318
Sure...

191
00:09:42,756 --> 00:09:45,298
By the way, I invited the rest
of the band to come and meet us.

192
00:09:45,398 --> 00:09:48,140
We were hoping to get drunk.
I mean really drunk.

193
00:09:48,244 --> 00:09:49,774
Like my dad used to.

194
00:09:50,194 --> 00:09:51,984
Dibsity, dibsity, dibsity...

195
00:09:52,801 --> 00:09:55,225
I guess we could keep
the place open a little bit longer.

196
00:09:55,325 --> 00:09:57,291
As long as it's just
you and the band.

197
00:10:00,868 --> 00:10:02,700
What kind of band is this?

198
00:10:03,206 --> 00:10:05,793
We're the Arizona Tech Fighting Hens
Marching Band.

199
00:10:05,900 --> 00:10:07,068
Go, Hens!

200
00:10:07,803 --> 00:10:09,431
And then, your Uncle Barney and I

201
00:10:09,531 --> 00:10:11,885
had one of our telepathic conversations.

202
00:10:12,152 --> 00:10:14,156
Dude, Carl's gonna kill us

203
00:10:14,256 --> 00:10:16,497
if we don't kick everyone
out of here right now.

204
00:10:21,272 --> 00:10:22,648
Barney, I'm serious.

205
00:10:22,748 --> 00:10:24,884
We promised we wouldn't mess
the place up.

206
00:10:29,374 --> 00:10:31,228
All right, I guess you have a point.

207
00:10:32,122 --> 00:10:34,108
The bar is open!

208
00:10:35,658 --> 00:10:37,181
Who wants a beer?

209
00:10:40,651 --> 00:10:42,456
I still say this is stupid.

210
00:10:42,626 --> 00:10:46,135
What happened to, "As we mature,
the relationship matures with us"?

211
00:10:46,235 --> 00:10:49,701
That's just something Lily read
in Psychology Today.

212
00:10:51,061 --> 00:10:52,695
All right, she read it in Cosmo.

213
00:10:53,058 --> 00:10:54,499
All right, I read it in Cosmo.

214
00:10:54,921 --> 00:10:57,642
All right, it was Cosmo Girl.
Just drive, okay.

215
00:10:57,742 --> 00:10:59,504
I just don't get why
it's such a big deal

216
00:10:59,604 --> 00:11:01,706
that one little ritual
goes by the wayside.

217
00:11:01,806 --> 00:11:05,188
It's not just this, okay?
It's all our little rituals.

218
00:11:06,130 --> 00:11:09,013
Do you know what we used to do
every day the second I got home?

219
00:11:09,183 --> 00:11:12,369
Man, I don't want to hear
about your crazy monkey sex.

220
00:11:13,166 --> 00:11:16,166
We would tell each other
what we had to eat that day.

221
00:11:17,232 --> 00:11:21,240
Two eggs, a slice of cheese pizza
and some steamed veggies.

222
00:11:21,410 --> 00:11:24,419
Everything bagel, chicken breast,
some celery sticks

223
00:11:24,589 --> 00:11:26,446
and a spoon of peanut butter.

224
00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:29,716
- Crazy monkey sex?
- Crazy monkey sex.

225
00:11:34,653 --> 00:11:37,255
TMI...
too many informations.

226
00:11:37,806 --> 00:11:41,321
You know what else I miss?
Our lunchtime phone call.

227
00:11:42,563 --> 00:11:44,761
It's lunchtime, and I love you.

228
00:11:45,334 --> 00:11:47,421
I reciprocate in principle.

229
00:11:47,521 --> 00:11:49,291
Although with the caveat
that there seems

230
00:11:49,391 --> 00:11:51,667
to be a bit of a surplus
here on my end.

231
00:11:53,245 --> 00:11:55,071
I love you more.

232
00:11:55,751 --> 00:11:58,825
Do we need to get in a room together
and bang this thing out?

233
00:12:02,438 --> 00:12:04,688
Those sound like agreeable terms,

234
00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:07,462
although I may need to
adjust my briefs.

235
00:12:10,015 --> 00:12:11,173
Love you, too.

236
00:12:12,331 --> 00:12:14,407
But today when she called,

237
00:12:14,577 --> 00:12:17,111
I let it go to voice mail.
Voice mail!

238
00:12:17,211 --> 00:12:18,585
How could you?

239
00:12:18,755 --> 00:12:21,985
The thing I miss most is kissing
at midnight on New Year's Eve.

240
00:12:22,085 --> 00:12:24,164
It was a New Year's tradition.

241
00:12:24,434 --> 00:12:26,408
But you know what we did this year?

242
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,684
Crazy monkey sex?

243
00:12:33,113 --> 00:12:36,592
All these cute, adorable
little rituals... they're stupid.

244
00:12:36,896 --> 00:12:39,143
Telling each other what
you had to eat? You're like

245
00:12:39,243 --> 00:12:40,982
children playing house.

246
00:12:41,152 --> 00:12:42,032
Well...

247
00:12:42,633 --> 00:12:44,171
maybe you just think they're stupid

248
00:12:44,271 --> 00:12:46,151
because you've never been
in a relationship

249
00:12:46,251 --> 00:12:47,812
long enough to develop them.

250
00:12:47,931 --> 00:12:48,663
What?

251
00:12:48,783 --> 00:12:50,175
You don't understand love.

252
00:12:50,345 --> 00:12:54,145
Okay, you're like some robot
who sees a person crying and says...

253
00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:56,194
"Why is that human leaking?"

254
00:12:56,958 --> 00:12:58,183
Is that right?

255
00:12:58,814 --> 00:13:00,619
Well, then...
Robot initiating

256
00:13:00,726 --> 00:13:05,046
pull-over-to-the-side-of-the-road-until-
jackass-apologizes-to-me sequence.

257
00:13:11,745 --> 00:13:14,869
My robot was like,
a million times better.

258
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:22,086
Just so you know, the trough
in the bathroom is overflowing.

259
00:13:22,190 --> 00:13:24,103
There's no trough in the bathroom.

260
00:13:24,726 --> 00:13:26,841
And you just came out of the kitchen.

261
00:13:28,405 --> 00:13:29,678
What's in a gin and tonic?

262
00:13:29,778 --> 00:13:31,418
What's in a gin and tonic?

263
00:13:31,933 --> 00:13:33,973
Running a bar sucks.
Let's just close up.

264
00:13:35,121 --> 00:13:36,569
There's no last call.

265
00:13:37,109 --> 00:13:38,446
Puzzles, go for Barney.

266
00:13:38,546 --> 00:13:40,946
Good. You're still there.
I'll be there in five.

267
00:13:42,408 --> 00:13:43,364
Last call.

268
00:13:49,673 --> 00:13:52,202
Robin, there's a snowplow coming.
We have to get back on the road.

269
00:13:52,302 --> 00:13:54,997
You think the only way to be in love
is to have pet names.

270
00:13:55,097 --> 00:13:57,190
Or leave each other stupid,
little notes

271
00:13:57,290 --> 00:14:00,692
or go charging off into a blizzard
for no good reason.

272
00:14:00,792 --> 00:14:03,496
Seriously, do you understand what's
going to happen if that plow comes by?

273
00:14:03,596 --> 00:14:05,342
You know what you are?
You're a love snob.

274
00:14:05,442 --> 00:14:07,418
There's lots of ways
to be in a relationship,

275
00:14:07,518 --> 00:14:10,562
and you would know that if you ever left
your little love snob country club

276
00:14:10,662 --> 00:14:13,298
We're going to get buried by snow.
That's going to happen.

277
00:14:13,504 --> 00:14:14,480
Screw this.

278
00:14:14,650 --> 00:14:16,781
I'm not going to sit here
and be insulted.

279
00:14:17,148 --> 00:14:19,562
We're not going to the airport.
We're going home.

280
00:14:23,123 --> 00:14:24,545
What just happened?

281
00:14:31,355 --> 00:14:33,466
We called earlier
about the Seattle microbrew.

282
00:14:34,103 --> 00:14:37,360
Good thing you called when you did.
I was getting ready to close up.

283
00:14:37,530 --> 00:14:39,671
Storm of the century out there.

284
00:14:39,841 --> 00:14:42,513
Of course, it's only '09,
so storm of the century

285
00:14:42,613 --> 00:14:44,599
might be a little bit premature.

286
00:14:44,769 --> 00:14:48,456
Let's say storm of the year.
Although, it is only January.

287
00:14:48,556 --> 00:14:52,129
We're in kind of a hurry, so,
we'll take the beer now.

288
00:14:52,969 --> 00:14:54,271
You are a cute couple.

289
00:14:54,377 --> 00:14:55,952
- Thank you.
- We're not a couple.

290
00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:58,927
Thank God.
That would be weird.

291
00:14:59,436 --> 00:15:00,260
Well...

292
00:15:01,585 --> 00:15:04,472
here she is.
"Supersonic Tonic."

293
00:15:05,898 --> 00:15:07,899
This is a keg.
I need a six-pack.

294
00:15:08,069 --> 00:15:10,039
A keg's all I got.
We'll take the keg.

295
00:15:10,209 --> 00:15:11,056
What?

296
00:15:11,925 --> 00:15:13,668
Last time I had one of these
in the car,

297
00:15:13,838 --> 00:15:18,100
I wound up chipping dried vomit
off the seat with a putty knife.

298
00:15:18,230 --> 00:15:20,573
I'm sorry, Ranjit,
but this is a ritual

299
00:15:20,673 --> 00:15:22,732
and I am bringing him this beer.

300
00:15:24,553 --> 00:15:26,429
If you could just put it in the car.

301
00:15:27,658 --> 00:15:29,132
I'll give you 50 bucks.

302
00:15:29,302 --> 00:15:30,615
To the Town Car.

303
00:15:36,719 --> 00:15:38,120
Robin, I'm sorry.

304
00:15:38,290 --> 00:15:39,747
You're not a robot.

305
00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:43,858
If you are, you're, like,
an incredibly advanced model,

306
00:15:43,958 --> 00:15:46,104
and the human race
doesn't stand a chance.

307
00:15:47,256 --> 00:15:48,567
You just don't choose to

308
00:15:48,737 --> 00:15:51,792
show your love through corny rituals,
and that's fine.

309
00:15:52,102 --> 00:15:54,882
But maybe the reason Lily and I
do is because we always have,

310
00:15:54,982 --> 00:15:57,082
and we don't know any other way.

311
00:15:57,766 --> 00:15:59,355
One thing I do know is that

312
00:15:59,525 --> 00:16:01,990
if she's there sitting
at the airport alone,

313
00:16:02,871 --> 00:16:04,450
I have to go get her.

314
00:16:05,060 --> 00:16:06,365
Those are the rules.

315
00:16:09,162 --> 00:16:10,280
Close your eyes.

316
00:16:11,426 --> 00:16:14,419
I don't know how you heard any of that
as me hitting on you, but...

317
00:16:14,519 --> 00:16:15,575
Just do it.

318
00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:25,893
Now let's go get your woman.

319
00:16:27,122 --> 00:16:28,920
All right, come on.

320
00:16:29,090 --> 00:16:31,947
You don't have to go home,
but you can't stay here.

321
00:16:32,355 --> 00:16:33,805
I've always wanted to say that.

322
00:16:33,975 --> 00:16:36,860
I mean, in a bar.
I say it all the time at home.

323
00:16:38,991 --> 00:16:41,463
Someday we should buy a bar.
And when we do,

324
00:16:41,633 --> 00:16:43,569
we are never
going to have last call.

325
00:16:45,201 --> 00:16:46,353
Come on, Barney.

326
00:16:46,569 --> 00:16:49,283
We said no last call.
We've got to mean it.

327
00:16:50,329 --> 00:16:53,162
Well, what are we supposed to do?
Carl's going to be here any minute.

328
00:16:53,332 --> 00:16:54,878
Only one thing we can do.

329
00:16:57,823 --> 00:17:00,232
Dude, running a bar
is a pain in the ass.

330
00:17:00,402 --> 00:17:02,582
We should just stick with what we know.

331
00:17:04,204 --> 00:17:07,106
- We should start a band.
- Of course we should start a band!

332
00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:09,417
How have we not started a band yet?

333
00:17:11,419 --> 00:17:12,986
Kids, sometimes in life

334
00:17:13,156 --> 00:17:15,703
the planets align,
everything links up,

335
00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:18,128
and your timing is perfect.

336
00:17:39,382 --> 00:17:41,494
This wasn't one of those times.

337
00:17:44,172 --> 00:17:45,377
Where is she?

338
00:17:45,857 --> 00:17:46,789
Seattle.

339
00:17:47,526 --> 00:17:48,226
What?

340
00:17:48,326 --> 00:17:50,383
Her flight's canceled.
It never took off.

341
00:17:51,413 --> 00:17:53,301
She would've called me and...

342
00:17:57,438 --> 00:17:58,829
Hey, baby, it's me.

343
00:17:58,966 --> 00:18:01,555
My flight's been canceled
because of some snowstorm

344
00:18:01,655 --> 00:18:03,999
and they couldn't rebook me
till Thursday,

345
00:18:04,099 --> 00:18:06,448
so I'm stuck here for another two days.

346
00:18:06,849 --> 00:18:09,692
But it's lunchtime,
and I love you.

347
00:18:11,282 --> 00:18:13,918
Like I said, this was
a three-day storm.

348
00:18:14,892 --> 00:18:16,732
I still say this is stupid.

349
00:18:21,876 --> 00:18:24,267
So on Tuesday
when Marshall heard that message...

350
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:26,435
She's not coming in till Thursday.

351
00:18:26,787 --> 00:18:29,857
I mean, we came all the way down here,
and she's not coming in till Thursday.

352
00:18:30,027 --> 00:18:31,545
I feel so stupid.

353
00:18:32,658 --> 00:18:35,904
Look, let's just, let's not tell Lily
about any of this, okay?

354
00:18:36,074 --> 00:18:38,084
Especially the part
about you hitting on me.

355
00:18:38,254 --> 00:18:39,830
I didn't hit on you.

356
00:18:40,322 --> 00:18:41,178
Exactly.

357
00:18:42,810 --> 00:18:43,984
Then on Wednesday...

358
00:18:44,084 --> 00:18:46,546
Man. I can't believe
you drove all the way out there.

359
00:18:46,646 --> 00:18:48,181
Now you're just going to turn around

360
00:18:48,281 --> 00:18:50,298
and drive all the way
out there again tomorrow.

361
00:18:51,175 --> 00:18:53,105
This whole thing was
a sign, you know?

362
00:18:53,205 --> 00:18:56,070
It's time to put that old ritual to bed.
I'm not going to pick her up.

363
00:18:56,472 --> 00:18:58,128
Robin really hit on you?

364
00:19:00,042 --> 00:19:01,254
It was weird.

365
00:19:01,866 --> 00:19:05,004
Bros, this party is awesome!

366
00:19:05,461 --> 00:19:07,295
You are true friends
of the Fighting Hens.

367
00:19:07,395 --> 00:19:09,142
If you ever need anything,

368
00:19:09,348 --> 00:19:10,771
don't hesitate to ask.

369
00:19:10,982 --> 00:19:13,123
Is the flute section seeing anyone?

370
00:19:16,201 --> 00:19:18,691
So, wait, you're really not going
to pick her up?

371
00:19:19,225 --> 00:19:21,270
So the New Year's kiss, the

372
00:19:21,516 --> 00:19:23,646
lunchtime phone calls,
the whole

373
00:19:24,048 --> 00:19:27,675
"this is what I ate today" thing,
you're, you're really letting it all go?

374
00:19:29,277 --> 00:19:30,378
I really am.

375
00:19:31,035 --> 00:19:32,961
Which brings us to Thursday.

376
00:20:13,904 --> 00:20:18,160
A muffin, a pastrami sandwich,
and a bag of chips. And

377
00:20:18,330 --> 00:20:20,972
I know it's way past lunchtime,
but I love you.

378
00:20:21,072 --> 00:20:24,214
More and more each day,
I love you, Lily.

379
00:20:24,776 --> 00:20:25,893
Happy New Year.

380
00:20:32,646 --> 00:20:34,826
Does this mean that I have
to bring a marching band

381
00:20:34,926 --> 00:20:36,945
- to the airport from now on?
- Absolutely, it does.

382
00:20:37,045 --> 00:20:37,749
Crap.

383
00:20:49,741 --> 00:20:50,779
Go, Hens!

384
00:20:54,447 --> 00:20:55,331
Puzzles.

385
00:20:55,835 --> 00:20:58,234
That is a great band name.

386
00:21:00,968 --> 00:21:02,488
Hey, have you seen Amanda?

387
00:21:03,487 --> 00:21:04,514
Bingo!

388
00:21:05,215 --> 00:21:15,215
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