1 00:00:04,309 --> 00:00:07,494 I can't believe Metro News One is just forwarding you all this fan mail now. 2 00:00:07,739 --> 00:00:09,416 I know. I quit like four months ago. 3 00:00:09,541 --> 00:00:11,540 You had more fans than I thought. 4 00:00:11,783 --> 00:00:14,287 And only about 60% of them are prison inmates. 5 00:00:15,045 --> 00:00:16,857 What are these guys thinking? 6 00:00:17,065 --> 00:00:19,426 I am way past my "dating prisoners" phase. 7 00:00:19,551 --> 00:00:22,109 It's like, hello, I'm not 19 anymore. 8 00:00:24,101 --> 00:00:26,959 - Lottery Girl's on. - I just feel sorry for these women. 9 00:00:27,084 --> 00:00:29,182 This is where broadcast careers go to die. 10 00:00:29,618 --> 00:00:31,033 Check it out. I make it fun. 11 00:00:31,158 --> 00:00:32,969 I invented a little game. 12 00:00:33,598 --> 00:00:35,669 Tonight's Lotto numbers are... 13 00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:39,234 19... 14 00:00:39,558 --> 00:00:40,802 Age you moved to New York 15 00:00:40,927 --> 00:00:42,996 after a photographer "discovered" you at a food court 16 00:00:43,121 --> 00:00:44,865 and said he'd get you in Vogue magazine. 17 00:00:45,033 --> 00:00:45,782 53... 18 00:00:45,950 --> 00:00:47,729 Number of semi-nude pictures he took of you 19 00:00:47,854 --> 00:00:50,493 before you realized he had no connection to Vogue magazine. 20 00:00:51,192 --> 00:00:51,997 22... 21 00:00:52,165 --> 00:00:53,790 Age you claim you are. 22 00:00:54,074 --> 00:00:54,875 31... 23 00:00:55,267 --> 00:00:56,710 Age you actually are. 24 00:00:57,298 --> 00:00:58,211 45... 25 00:00:58,455 --> 00:01:00,833 Number of minutes it would take me to get you into a cab, 26 00:01:00,958 --> 00:01:03,370 out of your dress, and into my jacuzzi. 27 00:01:03,696 --> 00:01:05,510 And tonight's Super Big Ball is... 28 00:01:05,771 --> 00:01:08,232 What happens after we get out of the jacuzzi. 29 00:01:08,357 --> 00:01:09,139 What up? 30 00:01:10,933 --> 00:01:13,312 ShalimarFox, Arrow 31 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:27,908 Kids, by the winter of 2009, Robin had been unemployed for months. 32 00:01:28,557 --> 00:01:30,293 But there was a glimmer of hope. 33 00:01:30,418 --> 00:01:32,454 - Hey. - How'd the audition go? 34 00:01:32,622 --> 00:01:35,049 Well, I went in there feeling really good. 35 00:01:35,174 --> 00:01:37,667 I heard it was just me up against two other girls. 36 00:01:37,835 --> 00:01:38,960 Listening. 37 00:01:46,081 --> 00:01:47,458 - Hi. - Hi. 38 00:01:51,020 --> 00:01:51,932 And you are? 39 00:01:53,825 --> 00:01:55,936 You've obviously never spent any time in Denver. 40 00:01:56,382 --> 00:01:58,289 Rochelle Harper, News Center 12. 41 00:01:58,700 --> 00:02:01,629 We were only the number-one station in the Rockies for 42 00:02:01,754 --> 00:02:03,068 five straight years. 43 00:02:03,471 --> 00:02:06,029 I was an anchor here in town at Metro News One. 44 00:02:07,150 --> 00:02:07,989 An anchor. 45 00:02:08,950 --> 00:02:11,368 You must have a killer sign off phrase. 46 00:02:11,536 --> 00:02:12,285 Sorry? 47 00:02:12,453 --> 00:02:14,287 You gotta have a killer sign off phrase. 48 00:02:14,580 --> 00:02:16,224 Like Walter Cronkite: 49 00:02:16,651 --> 00:02:18,487 "And that's the way it is." 50 00:02:19,098 --> 00:02:20,607 So what's yours? 51 00:02:21,037 --> 00:02:23,607 Well, I would just always end with a simple 52 00:02:23,732 --> 00:02:26,598 "From all of us here at Metro News One, have a good evening." 53 00:02:31,247 --> 00:02:32,082 Mine is: 54 00:02:32,207 --> 00:02:35,225 "From all of us here at Barney's apartment, get out." 55 00:02:36,602 --> 00:02:39,729 You didn't let those reporter bitches psych you out, did you? 56 00:02:40,773 --> 00:02:42,732 and the President's economic team 57 00:02:42,900 --> 00:02:45,332 is hoping to have a proposal before Congress 58 00:02:45,626 --> 00:02:47,003 by the end of the month. 59 00:02:47,299 --> 00:02:50,695 From all of us here at News Ten, have a good evening. 60 00:02:54,869 --> 00:02:56,496 So, good night, New York. 61 00:02:56,930 --> 00:02:59,634 And may the road ahead be lit with dreams 62 00:02:59,851 --> 00:03:01,169 and tomorrows. 63 00:03:02,438 --> 00:03:04,215 Which are lit with dreams... 64 00:03:04,770 --> 00:03:05,770 also. 65 00:03:07,715 --> 00:03:08,992 That's terrible. 66 00:03:09,338 --> 00:03:10,347 And bad... 67 00:03:10,827 --> 00:03:11,827 also. 68 00:03:12,592 --> 00:03:13,555 I wasn't done. 69 00:03:15,071 --> 00:03:16,556 Stand tall, New York. 70 00:03:17,098 --> 00:03:18,324 Trust worthy. 71 00:03:18,758 --> 00:03:19,910 Recycling. 72 00:03:21,562 --> 00:03:22,770 Wear a condom. 73 00:03:24,636 --> 00:03:26,188 Wear a condom? 74 00:03:27,173 --> 00:03:29,321 I'm not gonna be the new Channel Ten anchor, am I? 75 00:03:29,891 --> 00:03:30,967 This just in. 76 00:03:33,715 --> 00:03:35,689 Maybe the problem is your résumé. 77 00:03:36,054 --> 00:03:39,205 See how mine is lean and mean? Yours is too cluttered. 78 00:03:39,493 --> 00:03:41,791 Oh, like everything on your résumé is so relevant? 79 00:03:42,413 --> 00:03:46,379 "Program Director, 88.1 Wesleyan University Radio"? 80 00:03:46,547 --> 00:03:48,377 - Oh, God. - Dr. X? 81 00:03:48,502 --> 00:03:50,633 You're still bragging about Dr. X? 82 00:03:50,758 --> 00:03:52,988 - Who was Dr. X? - Nobody knows. 83 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:56,181 - He was this genius mystery D.J. - It was Ted. 84 00:03:56,349 --> 00:03:58,498 His identity remains a secret to this day. 85 00:03:58,623 --> 00:03:59,517 It was Ted. 86 00:03:59,871 --> 00:04:03,188 But this phantom of the airwaves changed the very face of college radio. 87 00:04:03,356 --> 00:04:05,190 - It was Ted. - And your show sucked. 88 00:04:06,443 --> 00:04:10,390 Dr. X here, shooting truth bullets at you from an undisclosed location. 89 00:04:10,928 --> 00:04:14,003 Because if they knew where I was, they'd shut me down. 90 00:04:14,128 --> 00:04:16,179 You're on the third floor of the Student Center 91 00:04:16,304 --> 00:04:18,307 next to the game room, you tool. 92 00:04:18,432 --> 00:04:20,426 I've been getting a lot of letters about my segment 93 00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:22,957 on how racist the school's meal plan is. 94 00:04:23,231 --> 00:04:26,135 How are you getting letters if no one knows where you are, douche? 95 00:04:26,421 --> 00:04:28,185 That's why I'm organizing a happening 96 00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:30,548 outside the dining hall, Monday at midnight. 97 00:04:30,981 --> 00:04:33,343 It's high time the Food Service puppet masters 98 00:04:33,511 --> 00:04:35,976 took ignorance and injustice off the menu. 99 00:04:36,773 --> 00:04:38,431 Ted, we need a fourth for foosball. 100 00:04:39,349 --> 00:04:41,781 - What are you doing in here, anyway? - Dude, get out of here! 101 00:04:41,906 --> 00:04:43,191 I'll be there in a second. 102 00:04:43,858 --> 00:04:46,371 So remember, dining hall, Monday, midnight. 103 00:04:46,496 --> 00:04:48,641 Another Dr. X happening. 104 00:04:49,045 --> 00:04:52,366 I'll be there, because X marks the spot-ot-ot-ot-ot... 105 00:04:54,115 --> 00:04:57,617 If you think people liked your show, they did not-ot-ot-ot... 106 00:04:58,365 --> 00:05:01,329 This is weird. Look what got mixed in with your fan mail. 107 00:05:01,497 --> 00:05:02,951 - What? - It's from the U.S. 108 00:05:03,076 --> 00:05:04,541 Department of Immigration. 109 00:05:06,313 --> 00:05:08,473 It's postmarked two months ago. 110 00:05:13,752 --> 00:05:15,468 - Oh, boy. - What is it? 111 00:05:15,636 --> 00:05:17,122 It's about my work visa. 112 00:05:17,247 --> 00:05:19,517 Unless I can find a job in the next... 113 00:05:20,485 --> 00:05:23,309 seven days, they're gonna send me back to Canada. 114 00:05:29,796 --> 00:05:32,016 I can't believe you might be kicked out of the country. 115 00:05:32,141 --> 00:05:34,599 I know. My whole life is here. 116 00:05:34,724 --> 00:05:37,699 No. We won't let this happen. One of us will help you find a job. 117 00:05:37,867 --> 00:05:40,306 Yeah, I bet I can get you something at my school. 118 00:05:40,431 --> 00:05:41,748 No, guys... 119 00:05:42,241 --> 00:05:43,319 It doesn't work. 120 00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:45,915 Robin only gets her work visa if she gets a job in her field. 121 00:05:47,460 --> 00:05:50,334 You know what, I guess you could stay if you married a U.S. citizen. 122 00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:52,956 Yeah, that could work. 123 00:05:53,576 --> 00:05:56,304 Oh, no. They could never process that and make it official in time. 124 00:05:56,429 --> 00:05:57,731 That won't work. 125 00:05:57,856 --> 00:05:59,041 I'm screwed. 126 00:05:59,166 --> 00:06:01,306 I've been sending out my reel for 3 months, and nothing. 127 00:06:01,918 --> 00:06:04,809 Maybe there's something in your reel that people aren't responding to. 128 00:06:04,977 --> 00:06:06,603 Let's take a look at it, right? 129 00:06:09,954 --> 00:06:11,403 That's a good question, Norm. 130 00:06:11,528 --> 00:06:13,574 The first thing is from when I was a cub reporter 131 00:06:13,699 --> 00:06:15,977 for Channel 22 in Red Deer. 132 00:06:16,691 --> 00:06:17,909 In Alberta. 133 00:06:18,585 --> 00:06:19,449 In Canada. 134 00:06:22,897 --> 00:06:25,140 Well, the snow's coming down pretty hard, 135 00:06:25,265 --> 00:06:28,558 but these intrepid fishermen are still happy to be out competing 136 00:06:28,683 --> 00:06:31,626 in Lake Athabasca's Bass Fishing Jamboree, 137 00:06:31,751 --> 00:06:33,709 an August 1st tradition. 138 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:35,673 Back to you, Norm. 139 00:06:39,053 --> 00:06:41,191 What? That was my first job. 140 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:42,931 It shows where I came from. 141 00:06:43,056 --> 00:06:45,277 Unless a bear attacks you in the next three seconds 142 00:06:45,402 --> 00:06:48,750 and you snap its neck with your legs, that has no business being on your reel. 143 00:06:48,875 --> 00:06:51,422 No, no, I get it, I get it. 144 00:06:51,792 --> 00:06:53,975 Where you're from is part of who you're selling. 145 00:06:54,100 --> 00:06:55,781 For instance, under "special skills" 146 00:06:55,906 --> 00:06:57,367 on my résumé, I mention that 147 00:06:57,492 --> 00:07:00,865 back in Minnesota, I was the 1995 Nicollet County Slam Dunk Champion. 148 00:07:01,033 --> 00:07:03,326 You put dunk champion on your résumé? 149 00:07:03,494 --> 00:07:04,833 Yeah, why wouldn't you? 150 00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:07,593 A lot of companies have basketball teams. 151 00:07:07,718 --> 00:07:09,614 It's good for them to know that VanillaThunder 152 00:07:09,739 --> 00:07:11,334 can still take the rock to the hole. 153 00:07:11,617 --> 00:07:14,295 - They called you Vanilla Thunder? - Yeah, Vanilla Thunder. 154 00:07:15,618 --> 00:07:18,038 The Ghost in the Post. The Human Turnstile. 155 00:07:18,297 --> 00:07:20,266 I didn't... I didn't play that much D. 156 00:07:20,958 --> 00:07:22,178 You can't still dunk. 157 00:07:22,594 --> 00:07:24,130 Of course I can. 158 00:07:24,404 --> 00:07:25,656 Well, I mean I could... 159 00:07:25,781 --> 00:07:28,393 - until... until recently. - Until the injury. 160 00:07:29,272 --> 00:07:31,062 It's called iliopsoas tendonitis. 161 00:07:31,308 --> 00:07:33,011 Oh, Yikes. That sounds bad. 162 00:07:33,136 --> 00:07:35,233 It's more commonly known as dancer's hip. 163 00:07:39,931 --> 00:07:41,075 Dr. Goodman... 164 00:07:42,943 --> 00:07:43,943 Oh, come on! 165 00:07:45,021 --> 00:07:48,371 Iliopsoas tendonitis. That's what it's called. That's all it's called. 166 00:07:49,809 --> 00:07:53,233 Iliopsoas tendonitis. It's a basketball injury. 167 00:07:53,358 --> 00:07:54,851 You know, it's no big whoop. 168 00:07:54,976 --> 00:07:57,922 Dancer's hip, Marshall has something called dancer's hip. 169 00:07:58,090 --> 00:07:59,966 OK, no, no. They only call it that, look 170 00:08:00,134 --> 00:08:02,725 because it's very common with ballet dancers. 171 00:08:05,389 --> 00:08:08,131 So, tell me, do any of the other little girls 172 00:08:08,256 --> 00:08:10,059 in your class have dancer's hip? 173 00:08:10,328 --> 00:08:12,544 - Yeah, sure. - I have more of a technical question. 174 00:08:12,669 --> 00:08:15,857 Is it easier to dance when you don't have external genitalia? 175 00:08:16,132 --> 00:08:18,302 Good, don't build to that, just go right for it. 176 00:08:18,752 --> 00:08:22,024 Guys, come on. Marshall didn't get this injury from dancing. 177 00:08:22,291 --> 00:08:23,534 Thank you, Lily. 178 00:08:23,659 --> 00:08:26,315 Clearly, the stirrups were set a little too wide 179 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:28,620 during his last trip to the gyno. 180 00:08:28,976 --> 00:08:31,310 Guys, I hate to cut you off 181 00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:35,332 before Marshall bursts into tears, but, Robin, check this out. 182 00:08:35,457 --> 00:08:39,045 What you need is an awesome video résumé. 183 00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:42,575 Like mine. I present: 184 00:08:44,136 --> 00:08:47,368 Barneysvideoresume.com. 185 00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:05,521 Hello. 186 00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:09,368 Barney Stinson, you've achieved great success in business, 187 00:09:09,493 --> 00:09:11,871 athletics and personal relationships 188 00:09:11,996 --> 00:09:14,123 and have been an inspiration to many people. 189 00:09:14,987 --> 00:09:16,046 Is that you? 190 00:09:16,643 --> 00:09:18,419 Are you interviewing yourself? 191 00:09:19,041 --> 00:09:21,553 How can it be me? That guy's British. 192 00:09:22,552 --> 00:09:25,688 What would you recommend to your numerous admirers 193 00:09:25,813 --> 00:09:28,151 who want to reach their highest potential? 194 00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:29,931 And a wee bit Scottish. 195 00:09:31,732 --> 00:09:33,997 The first thing you need to know about success 196 00:09:34,122 --> 00:09:35,853 is that it doesn't just come to you. 197 00:09:36,222 --> 00:09:39,201 Most people associate success with money and power, 198 00:09:39,539 --> 00:09:41,934 but really it's a state of mind. 199 00:09:44,434 --> 00:09:46,489 You had to be on a motorcycle to say that? 200 00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:51,410 And when it comes to success the only limit is that there are no limits. 201 00:09:52,746 --> 00:09:55,499 I didn't know you knew how to stand near a horse; that's impressive. 202 00:09:55,783 --> 00:09:58,879 Barney, I don't get it. You don't do a damn thing in any of these clips. 203 00:09:59,004 --> 00:10:01,654 Exactly. Because that's who corporate American wants... 204 00:10:01,881 --> 00:10:04,543 people who seem like bold risk takers, 205 00:10:04,668 --> 00:10:06,450 but never actually do anything. 206 00:10:06,670 --> 00:10:09,112 Actually doing things gets you fired. 207 00:10:09,488 --> 00:10:12,389 In fact, I'm writing a book on this very phenomenon. 208 00:10:12,559 --> 00:10:13,725 Really? 209 00:10:13,894 --> 00:10:16,394 No, that would be doing some... Are you even listening? 210 00:10:18,126 --> 00:10:20,902 All my life, I have dared to go 211 00:10:21,166 --> 00:10:22,849 past what is possible. 212 00:10:23,304 --> 00:10:25,234 To the impossible? 213 00:10:25,741 --> 00:10:27,435 Actually, past that... 214 00:10:27,952 --> 00:10:31,811 to the place where the possible and the impossible meet 215 00:10:31,936 --> 00:10:32,827 to become... 216 00:10:34,180 --> 00:10:35,393 the possimpible. 217 00:10:37,292 --> 00:10:38,684 The possimpible? Really? 218 00:10:38,809 --> 00:10:41,831 Inventing your own word shows creativity and vision... 219 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:43,921 "Vizha-tivity." 220 00:10:46,123 --> 00:10:49,343 If I can leave you with one thought, it's this: 221 00:10:50,373 --> 00:10:51,373 Nothing... 222 00:10:51,809 --> 00:10:53,090 and everything... 223 00:10:53,889 --> 00:10:55,224 is possimpible. 224 00:10:58,540 --> 00:11:00,062 That guy's awesome 225 00:11:00,230 --> 00:11:01,503 Is that you agai...? 226 00:11:01,813 --> 00:11:04,108 Are you singing a song about yourself? 227 00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:06,945 Absolutely not. That would be lame. 228 00:11:07,863 --> 00:11:10,323 Stinson, Barney Stinson 229 00:11:10,514 --> 00:11:12,529 singing this song 230 00:11:12,654 --> 00:11:14,202 That would be really lame 231 00:11:14,370 --> 00:11:18,370 One of the many admirers who think that guy's awesome 232 00:11:18,890 --> 00:11:20,291 Perfect and available 233 00:11:20,590 --> 00:11:23,544 Awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome... 234 00:11:24,007 --> 00:11:26,547 Awesome, awesome 235 00:11:41,814 --> 00:11:44,148 That baby got me 11 job offers. 236 00:11:45,518 --> 00:11:46,484 No way. 237 00:11:46,652 --> 00:11:48,748 Barney, that was ridiculous and insane. 238 00:11:48,885 --> 00:11:50,046 Insane-ulous. 239 00:11:51,991 --> 00:11:53,574 - Make me one. - What? 240 00:11:53,762 --> 00:11:56,869 - Yes, now you're talking. - What? I'm about to be deported. 241 00:11:57,037 --> 00:11:59,705 - I'll try anything. - Okay, we better get started. 242 00:11:59,888 --> 00:12:03,077 There's a lot to shoot, I can't use any of the footage I already have of you. 243 00:12:03,202 --> 00:12:05,557 What footage do you already have of me? 244 00:12:06,166 --> 00:12:07,724 Let's just get started. 245 00:12:10,284 --> 00:12:13,886 Sweetie. Are you still upset about the dancer's hip jokes? 246 00:12:16,710 --> 00:12:19,808 We were just kidding. We all know it's a basketball injury. 247 00:12:19,978 --> 00:12:21,304 Yeah, totally. 248 00:12:25,024 --> 00:12:27,817 - I have something I need to tell you. - What is it? 249 00:12:29,620 --> 00:12:31,517 I dance more than you know. 250 00:12:33,113 --> 00:12:33,865 What? 251 00:12:34,976 --> 00:12:36,009 I dance... 252 00:12:37,161 --> 00:12:38,503 more than you know. 253 00:12:41,211 --> 00:12:43,488 I don't know how to respond to that. 254 00:12:46,815 --> 00:12:49,406 What does being a reporter mean to you? 255 00:12:50,276 --> 00:12:52,986 - Well, ever since I was a little kid... - Cut! 256 00:12:54,085 --> 00:12:56,213 You're getting bogged down in specifics. 257 00:12:56,338 --> 00:12:59,142 I need you to just say vague, 258 00:12:59,267 --> 00:13:02,518 confident-sounding buzzwords, like "synergy" and "dynamism". 259 00:13:03,109 --> 00:13:05,795 You can make up a word, like... "linkativity." 260 00:13:06,349 --> 00:13:09,358 How will sounding like an idiot get me hired anywhere? 261 00:13:09,717 --> 00:13:11,235 Okay, fine. Don't do it. 262 00:13:11,872 --> 00:13:15,029 Anyway, there are plenty of exciting stories to cover back in Canada. 263 00:13:15,154 --> 00:13:17,657 I just read that the mayor of Winnipeg's nephew 264 00:13:17,782 --> 00:13:20,533 went ice fishing and caught himself a 16-pound walleye. 265 00:13:20,658 --> 00:13:24,253 Reporting live from the worst place in the world, I'm Robin Scherbatsky. 266 00:13:25,602 --> 00:13:27,029 Fine. Roll camera. 267 00:13:30,890 --> 00:13:32,924 - Connectitude. - Love it. 268 00:13:33,731 --> 00:13:35,217 Transformatation. 269 00:13:35,412 --> 00:13:36,218 Earn it! 270 00:13:36,412 --> 00:13:37,428 Linkativity. 271 00:13:38,659 --> 00:13:40,340 Yeah, linkativity's mine. 272 00:13:44,110 --> 00:13:46,646 So, how much dancing are we talking about? 273 00:13:46,815 --> 00:13:48,270 I don't... I guess 274 00:13:48,642 --> 00:13:49,642 I'd say... 275 00:13:50,511 --> 00:13:51,522 medium. 276 00:13:52,447 --> 00:13:54,904 Why are you dancing so much, and why don't I know about it? 277 00:13:55,515 --> 00:13:58,853 It's something I do when I'm alone. Like if something good happens, 278 00:13:58,978 --> 00:14:00,890 I get excited and I need to move, and I just... 279 00:14:01,015 --> 00:14:03,286 I don't know. I don't want to even talk about this anymore. 280 00:14:05,293 --> 00:14:07,249 So that's how you injured your hip? 281 00:14:09,352 --> 00:14:12,232 Hey, did you hear? They're giving us a half day today. 282 00:14:12,357 --> 00:14:13,774 We can leave at 2:00. 283 00:14:14,724 --> 00:14:16,418 Great! Thanks, Herm. 284 00:14:26,934 --> 00:14:28,520 These costumes are ridiculous. 285 00:14:28,690 --> 00:14:31,815 Plus, the Amazon Warrior Princess armor gave me a rash. 286 00:14:32,422 --> 00:14:35,548 Cards on the table. You weren't the first lady to wear that in here. 287 00:14:35,673 --> 00:14:37,905 But it conveyed power. And so will this. 288 00:14:38,074 --> 00:14:39,712 What I need you to do now... 289 00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:41,797 is break these 15 bricks with your forehead. 290 00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:42,676 What? 291 00:14:42,801 --> 00:14:44,738 But you didn't do a damn thing in your video. 292 00:14:44,863 --> 00:14:47,903 You just stood near a horse and sat on a motorcycle. 293 00:14:48,175 --> 00:14:49,615 That's because I'm a man. 294 00:14:49,740 --> 00:14:52,378 You're a woman. The assumption is that you can't do anything. 295 00:14:52,804 --> 00:14:54,755 But you have to prove society wrong. 296 00:14:54,923 --> 00:14:57,925 I can't break 15 bricks with my forehead. 297 00:14:59,935 --> 00:15:02,388 It's not 1950 anymore. Yes, you can. 298 00:15:03,634 --> 00:15:05,599 - I'm out of here. - What? Why? 299 00:15:05,768 --> 00:15:07,620 None of this is going to help me get a job. 300 00:15:07,745 --> 00:15:10,175 I'm about to get kicked out of the country. 301 00:15:11,495 --> 00:15:12,815 I know what I have to do. 302 00:15:16,394 --> 00:15:18,516 Is this where the Lottery Girl auditions are? 303 00:15:18,641 --> 00:15:20,064 Yeah, right here. 304 00:15:23,774 --> 00:15:26,035 So, your Aunt Robin had reached her low point. 305 00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:28,998 She was auditioning to be the Lottery Girl. 306 00:15:29,517 --> 00:15:31,666 And tonight's Lotto numbers are... 307 00:15:31,836 --> 00:15:34,491 Hold it. Say the line before you press the button. 308 00:15:34,756 --> 00:15:37,189 - It builds the suspense. - It builds the suspense. 309 00:15:39,875 --> 00:15:41,977 And tonight's Lotto numbers are... 310 00:15:45,969 --> 00:15:46,891 seventeen... 311 00:15:47,064 --> 00:15:48,514 - Stop her. - Hold it. 312 00:15:48,977 --> 00:15:50,692 Why did she say it like that? 313 00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:53,605 It's like she's not even happy about the 17 coming up. 314 00:15:54,509 --> 00:15:55,692 She seems mean. 315 00:15:55,817 --> 00:15:57,499 Yeah, she seems super-mean. 316 00:15:58,255 --> 00:16:00,237 Can you take another run at "17" for us? 317 00:16:02,410 --> 00:16:03,240 Seventeen. 318 00:16:04,307 --> 00:16:06,445 I don't even understand what she's doing. 319 00:16:07,698 --> 00:16:09,116 Let me try something. 320 00:16:09,724 --> 00:16:12,137 Try being a little more wry. 321 00:16:13,195 --> 00:16:15,628 Wry? About the number 17? 322 00:16:15,823 --> 00:16:17,724 Wry, with a little bit of a... 323 00:16:18,137 --> 00:16:19,645 - Twinkle. - ... twinkle. 324 00:16:20,886 --> 00:16:22,051 Seventeen. 325 00:16:24,288 --> 00:16:25,471 That was great! 326 00:16:27,198 --> 00:16:31,194 I got you a light beer. I know how you dancers are always counting calories. 327 00:16:31,625 --> 00:16:33,389 It's not funny, all right? The doctor says 328 00:16:33,514 --> 00:16:35,515 if it gets any worse, I might need surgery. 329 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:37,629 Vaginal rejuvenation surgery? 330 00:16:37,985 --> 00:16:40,878 You know who didn't do a lot of operating on vaginas in college? 331 00:16:41,003 --> 00:16:42,029 - Who? - Dr. X. 332 00:16:42,343 --> 00:16:43,948 He did just fine! 333 00:16:44,116 --> 00:16:45,795 You know what? Both of you geniuses 334 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:49,139 need to take that weak-ass crap off your résumés. 335 00:16:49,264 --> 00:16:51,785 I mean, you are not Dr. X anymore, 336 00:16:51,910 --> 00:16:53,642 and you cannot dunk anymore. 337 00:16:54,184 --> 00:16:55,020 Let it go. 338 00:16:55,145 --> 00:16:57,269 So Marshall and I are the only people at this table 339 00:16:57,394 --> 00:16:59,380 with "weak-ass crap" on their résumés. 340 00:16:59,548 --> 00:17:00,840 What are you implying? 341 00:17:03,136 --> 00:17:04,057 I don't know! 342 00:17:04,182 --> 00:17:08,179 Does the date July 4, 1995 mean anything to you? 343 00:17:08,348 --> 00:17:09,877 You son of a bitch. 344 00:17:14,686 --> 00:17:15,709 Time! 345 00:17:15,834 --> 00:17:18,086 And the new champion, with 29 hot dogs, 346 00:17:18,211 --> 00:17:20,747 Lily "The Belly" Aldrin. 347 00:17:26,738 --> 00:17:29,201 How is that relevant to teaching kindergarten? 348 00:17:29,369 --> 00:17:31,108 It teaches kids that... 349 00:17:31,500 --> 00:17:34,720 I can eat a lot of hot dogs very quickly. 350 00:17:34,845 --> 00:17:36,590 Yeah, but you can't do it anymore! 351 00:17:36,715 --> 00:17:38,867 You can't dunk anymore, Ladyhips! 352 00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:41,172 How dare you! These hips can... 353 00:17:41,340 --> 00:17:42,529 Guys, guys! 354 00:17:43,467 --> 00:17:45,342 I didn't even get the Lotto Girl gig. 355 00:17:47,119 --> 00:17:48,971 I have to move back to Canada. 356 00:17:50,845 --> 00:17:52,099 I can't believe this. 357 00:17:54,629 --> 00:17:56,562 I remember the night before I moved down here. 358 00:17:57,259 --> 00:17:58,898 They threw a going-away party for me. 359 00:17:59,722 --> 00:18:03,110 They gave me a camera so I could take pictures and send them home. 360 00:18:04,972 --> 00:18:08,522 And everyone was so sure I was gonna be such a big success. 361 00:18:11,179 --> 00:18:13,138 I'm really gonna miss you guys. 362 00:18:16,162 --> 00:18:17,243 What happened? 363 00:18:18,036 --> 00:18:19,960 Robin has to move back to Canada. 364 00:18:20,288 --> 00:18:21,709 Oh, my God. How awful. 365 00:18:23,131 --> 00:18:25,591 I mean, for one thing it's gonna be a really long commute. 366 00:18:25,930 --> 00:18:27,417 What do you mean? 367 00:18:27,542 --> 00:18:29,479 I finished your video resume on my own. 368 00:18:29,604 --> 00:18:31,764 Messengered it to every station in the city. 369 00:18:31,917 --> 00:18:33,791 A guy from Channel Eight called. 370 00:18:33,916 --> 00:18:35,041 He loved you. 371 00:18:35,166 --> 00:18:36,979 He wanted you to come in and audition. 372 00:18:37,104 --> 00:18:37,978 My God! 373 00:18:38,147 --> 00:18:39,104 I told him no. 374 00:18:39,229 --> 00:18:41,293 Robin Scherbatsky doesn't audition. 375 00:18:41,418 --> 00:18:43,232 He gives you the job or nothing. 376 00:18:43,403 --> 00:18:46,070 - So I got the job? - No. He cursed me out and hung up. 377 00:18:48,171 --> 00:18:49,982 But then Channel 12 called. 378 00:18:50,107 --> 00:18:52,046 They also loved you. 379 00:18:52,171 --> 00:18:55,411 They offered you a job hosting their new morning talk show. 380 00:18:56,046 --> 00:18:58,290 - Barney, that's amazing! - I told them to shove it. 381 00:18:58,458 --> 00:19:01,650 - Dude! - Which only made them want you more. 382 00:19:01,965 --> 00:19:04,399 So, they jacked up their offer by ten percent. 383 00:19:04,524 --> 00:19:05,924 Congratulations. 384 00:19:06,049 --> 00:19:08,383 It looks like you're gonna have to stay. 385 00:19:15,662 --> 00:19:18,301 - You're not about to dance, are you? - I'm good. 386 00:19:18,426 --> 00:19:19,515 I'll do it later. 387 00:19:22,232 --> 00:19:23,886 How did you pull this off? 388 00:19:24,339 --> 00:19:26,443 I am the master of the possimpible. 389 00:19:26,937 --> 00:19:28,138 You really are. 390 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:29,697 Thank you. 391 00:19:32,494 --> 00:19:35,619 So, thanks to your Uncle Barney, we got to keep your Aunt Robin. 392 00:19:45,297 --> 00:19:48,674 And the rest of us decided it was time to let some things go. 393 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:55,103 Well, except for Lily. 394 00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:58,392 You got this. And... time! 395 00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:00,035 What's the count? 396 00:20:00,904 --> 00:20:01,936 Thirty-three! 397 00:20:33,630 --> 00:20:36,263 Why is no one coming to my Happenings?