1 00:00:02,551 --> 00:00:05,097 In the spring of 2009, I've been hired to design 2 00:00:05,222 --> 00:00:07,534 a new headquarters for Goliath National Bank. 3 00:00:07,941 --> 00:00:09,870 And I was eager to add as much of my voice 4 00:00:09,995 --> 00:00:12,232 as an architect into the plans as possible. 5 00:00:12,455 --> 00:00:16,041 Woodbeams bathed in natural light in the atrium. 6 00:00:17,826 --> 00:00:19,475 They're gonna love it! 7 00:00:19,803 --> 00:00:21,283 There was only one problem 8 00:00:21,409 --> 00:00:23,299 and his name was Bilson. 9 00:00:23,425 --> 00:00:24,332 Wood? 10 00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:26,062 Natural light? 11 00:00:27,819 --> 00:00:31,323 Natural light reminds the workers that there's an outside world 12 00:00:31,493 --> 00:00:33,441 where they had family and friends. 13 00:00:33,566 --> 00:00:35,089 We want to crush that! 14 00:00:35,698 --> 00:00:38,431 You show up in the dark, you go home in the dark. 15 00:00:38,556 --> 00:00:41,727 You spend your whole damn day in the dark! 16 00:00:42,693 --> 00:00:44,614 I need to hear Lily's voice. 17 00:00:44,898 --> 00:00:46,225 Who said you could leave? 18 00:00:48,067 --> 00:00:50,244 Bilson was killing every original idea I had. 19 00:00:50,883 --> 00:00:53,269 Then, one day GNB took him off the project 20 00:00:53,395 --> 00:00:56,261 and created a new task force to oversee my designs. 21 00:00:56,387 --> 00:00:57,718 Suddenly, everything changed. 22 00:00:58,046 --> 00:01:00,724 We'll have a rooftop zen garden for quiet contemplation. 23 00:01:01,058 --> 00:01:03,212 We'll have a reflecting pool in the lobby where... 24 00:01:03,337 --> 00:01:05,692 local children can come to make wishes. 25 00:01:06,357 --> 00:01:07,404 The New GNB, 26 00:01:07,789 --> 00:01:09,040 a place of work. 27 00:01:10,134 --> 00:01:11,662 That you can call "home". 28 00:01:13,159 --> 00:01:14,593 Thank you, and... 29 00:01:15,901 --> 00:01:17,052 welcome home. 30 00:01:23,264 --> 00:01:24,647 Everything was going great, 31 00:01:25,052 --> 00:01:27,054 until one day, in the elevator. 32 00:01:33,583 --> 00:01:35,022 Yeah, it's Ted. 33 00:01:35,648 --> 00:01:38,018 No, no. I did not approve that change 34 00:01:38,143 --> 00:01:40,474 for the blueprints for the new GNB headquarters 35 00:01:40,599 --> 00:01:43,617 for which I'm the head architect, at only 30 years old. 36 00:01:44,672 --> 00:01:47,533 Yes, I'm single, and I give to charity. 37 00:01:47,658 --> 00:01:49,530 What does that have to do with anything? 38 00:01:49,887 --> 00:01:52,369 All right, goodbye, Mr. Mayor. 39 00:01:54,017 --> 00:01:55,750 You know that was a fake phone call? 40 00:01:56,078 --> 00:01:58,055 Yes, and I also know 41 00:01:58,180 --> 00:02:01,011 that the new GNB headquarters project was scrapped last month. 42 00:02:02,421 --> 00:02:03,422 Nice try. 43 00:02:05,681 --> 00:02:07,922 ShalimarFox, Arrow 44 00:02:18,632 --> 00:02:21,251 Check out Scarlett Johansson at the Oscars. 45 00:02:21,429 --> 00:02:24,678 If I could nail any celebrity it would definitely be Scarlett Johansson. 46 00:02:24,803 --> 00:02:28,127 Hot, talented, and nobody does that many Woody Allen movies 47 00:02:28,252 --> 00:02:29,768 without serious daddy issues. 48 00:02:30,182 --> 00:02:32,282 If I could nail any celebrity, it would be Lily. 49 00:02:32,408 --> 00:02:34,086 She's the star of my heart. 50 00:02:35,190 --> 00:02:37,342 For me, it would be Hugh Jackman. 51 00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:39,850 You know, I don't know, celebrities, 52 00:02:39,975 --> 00:02:43,308 they're into some really weird sex stuff. Trust me. 53 00:02:43,434 --> 00:02:45,135 How would you know that? 54 00:02:46,503 --> 00:02:48,405 This is embarassing, but I... 55 00:02:48,711 --> 00:02:51,213 I went home with a celebrity one night. 56 00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:53,440 Oh my God! Seriously? 57 00:02:53,729 --> 00:02:56,811 Yeah, he wanted to do this really freaky thing with me, 58 00:02:56,936 --> 00:02:59,243 so I left. That's it. End of story. 59 00:02:59,422 --> 00:03:01,323 No, no, not end of story 60 00:03:01,449 --> 00:03:05,027 I need to know who, what, when, and in where. Spill it! 61 00:03:05,152 --> 00:03:08,142 Lily, please settle down. You're swallowing to much air. 62 00:03:08,732 --> 00:03:10,127 But before you go any further, 63 00:03:10,252 --> 00:03:12,895 I'm flattered, but technically, I'm not a celebrity. 64 00:03:14,284 --> 00:03:17,155 Plus, for the last time, I put the mask on as a joke. 65 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:18,407 OK, not you Barney. 66 00:03:18,906 --> 00:03:20,020 OK, who is it? 67 00:03:22,338 --> 00:03:24,126 Now you give Lily the hiccups. 68 00:03:24,429 --> 00:03:26,590 OK, I won't tell you anything specific. 69 00:03:26,715 --> 00:03:28,189 But all I'll say 70 00:03:28,314 --> 00:03:30,723 is he is Canadian born, but you definitely know this guy. 71 00:03:31,227 --> 00:03:32,883 And he got me back to his place 72 00:03:33,008 --> 00:03:35,649 by offering to show me a very unique collection. 73 00:03:35,818 --> 00:03:37,194 What do you mean collection? 74 00:03:37,373 --> 00:03:39,754 You know some people collect like stamps or coins, 75 00:03:39,879 --> 00:03:41,411 it's like that. But I'm not telling. 76 00:03:41,747 --> 00:03:44,585 At least tell us the weird thing he wanted to do. 77 00:03:44,710 --> 00:03:47,777 I don't know what you call it here, but we have a name for it in Canada. 78 00:03:47,902 --> 00:03:49,886 Look, I've already said too much. 79 00:03:50,205 --> 00:03:53,804 So, mystery celebrity who collects a mystery item 80 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:57,401 asked you to do a mystery Canadian sex act. 81 00:03:57,843 --> 00:03:59,447 - Yes. - Tell us! 82 00:03:59,942 --> 00:04:00,991 OK, I'll tell you. 83 00:04:02,338 --> 00:04:05,709 But only if you guess all three parts correctly. 84 00:04:05,887 --> 00:04:08,266 - That's just impossible. - Exactly. 85 00:04:08,435 --> 00:04:10,861 I don't even know any Canadian sex acts. 86 00:04:10,986 --> 00:04:12,559 You got your "Sloppy Dog Sled", 87 00:04:12,684 --> 00:04:14,936 your "Alberta Fur Trapper", your "Full Mounty". 88 00:04:15,114 --> 00:04:16,481 How do you know all these? 89 00:04:16,659 --> 00:04:19,027 Canadiansexacts.org, it's bookmarked on the top right. 90 00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:21,986 - Dot org? - Yeah. It's not for profit. 91 00:04:22,111 --> 00:04:24,204 They really just wanna get the information out there. 92 00:04:25,639 --> 00:04:28,296 So I just had the weirdest conversation. 93 00:04:28,475 --> 00:04:29,864 This woman at GNB told me 94 00:04:29,989 --> 00:04:32,242 that the new bank building was scrapped last month. 95 00:04:32,368 --> 00:04:33,719 It's crazy, right? 96 00:04:34,790 --> 00:04:36,020 Wait, what's that look? 97 00:04:36,145 --> 00:04:37,578 - Should we tell him? - Not me. 98 00:04:37,703 --> 00:04:38,806 - We should. - No. 99 00:04:38,931 --> 00:04:41,162 - There was no look. - Guys! What the hell? 100 00:04:42,210 --> 00:04:43,781 It's time that you know the truth. 101 00:04:43,906 --> 00:04:47,083 A few weeks ago, Bilson called us into his office. 102 00:04:47,483 --> 00:04:50,340 We're scrapping the plan for the new GNB headquarters. 103 00:04:50,606 --> 00:04:52,845 This recession is killing us. 104 00:04:53,178 --> 00:04:55,528 We're cutting anything non-essential. 105 00:04:55,890 --> 00:04:57,997 And I have a lot of tough choices to make at the 106 00:04:58,122 --> 00:05:00,516 bi-quarterly retreat in St. Croix. 107 00:05:01,245 --> 00:05:03,189 Man, Ted is gonna be devastated. 108 00:05:03,545 --> 00:05:05,545 Not when he hears it coming from his best friend. 109 00:05:05,670 --> 00:05:07,917 - I have to tell him? - I have to tell him? 110 00:05:08,095 --> 00:05:10,917 - Tell him, you're his best friend. - I'm not, you're his best friend. 111 00:05:11,042 --> 00:05:13,959 - I'm not, you're his best friend. - Quiet, here he comes. 112 00:05:14,084 --> 00:05:17,112 The white dude or the Asian fellow? See, I barely know the guy. 113 00:05:18,303 --> 00:05:20,526 - Ted, what's up? - How're you doing? 114 00:05:20,812 --> 00:05:22,078 I'm frustrated. 115 00:05:22,203 --> 00:05:24,051 Anything innovative I put in my designs, 116 00:05:24,176 --> 00:05:26,291 Bilson just hacks out with a machette. 117 00:05:26,417 --> 00:05:28,332 I hate having to answer to a guy like that. 118 00:05:28,702 --> 00:05:31,492 - You should drop the project. - You should totally drop the project. 119 00:05:31,617 --> 00:05:33,323 - It's beneath you. - Then it's settled. 120 00:05:33,449 --> 00:05:35,803 Ted Mosby's new chapter! May the wind be at your back... 121 00:05:35,928 --> 00:05:39,153 Are you kidding? They just laid off another architect at my firm. 122 00:05:39,278 --> 00:05:41,473 I mean, Bilson is a pain sure, but... 123 00:05:41,748 --> 00:05:44,089 without this project, I'm probably out of a job. 124 00:05:44,780 --> 00:05:47,307 Right... it's funny that you mentioned the project. 125 00:05:47,433 --> 00:05:48,908 - Because... - You're nailing it. 126 00:05:49,033 --> 00:05:50,443 Keep up the good work buddy. 127 00:05:50,568 --> 00:05:52,628 Your hair and teeth look fantastic today, 128 00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:54,802 you're shining like a diamond! 129 00:05:56,570 --> 00:05:57,571 Thank you. 130 00:05:57,898 --> 00:05:59,099 I needed that. 131 00:05:59,479 --> 00:06:01,482 I'm gonna head upstairs and keep working. 132 00:06:01,607 --> 00:06:04,572 I got to find a way to introduce some wood into Bilson's dark atrium. 133 00:06:06,202 --> 00:06:08,030 I think you know what I meant. 134 00:06:10,699 --> 00:06:12,003 - What was that? - What? 135 00:06:12,531 --> 00:06:15,687 I have a thought. OK, we're paying Ted's firm for two more months 136 00:06:15,812 --> 00:06:18,360 of design work no matter what, so couldn't we just let him 137 00:06:18,529 --> 00:06:20,571 keep working and not tell him? 138 00:06:21,007 --> 00:06:23,902 He's had a rough year. Let's let the guy be happy a little while longer. 139 00:06:25,651 --> 00:06:28,906 What you're suggesting is an elaborate, long-term lie 140 00:06:29,031 --> 00:06:30,707 that requires tremendous commitment. 141 00:06:31,125 --> 00:06:32,920 A nice guy like you can't pull that off. 142 00:06:33,956 --> 00:06:36,270 - Sure I can. - Lie to me right now. 143 00:06:38,036 --> 00:06:40,529 - I have a spaceship. - What kind of fuel powers it? 144 00:06:40,697 --> 00:06:42,202 Okay, I don't have a spaceship. 145 00:06:43,419 --> 00:06:46,196 Stand your ground! If someone questions you, 146 00:06:46,321 --> 00:06:48,829 distract them from the original lie with more lies. 147 00:06:48,954 --> 00:06:50,914 Here, let me demonstrate. I own a pony. 148 00:06:51,595 --> 00:06:52,668 Ask me a question. 149 00:06:56,088 --> 00:06:58,666 - What color is your pony? - Well, when I first got Dandelion, 150 00:06:58,791 --> 00:07:00,741 she was a deep, chestnut brown, 151 00:07:00,866 --> 00:07:03,799 but, sadly, her stable is located near a chemical plant, 152 00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:05,671 which contaminated the drinking water. 153 00:07:05,796 --> 00:07:09,049 So over time, she's turned a sickly, grayish-white color 154 00:07:09,174 --> 00:07:12,165 and there's nothing that the vet can do to fix her. 155 00:07:12,826 --> 00:07:13,779 My God! 156 00:07:13,904 --> 00:07:16,633 That's horrible. Is Dandelion going to be okay? 157 00:07:19,191 --> 00:07:21,145 All right. You are good! 158 00:07:21,270 --> 00:07:23,480 Dandelion's not even sick, is she? 159 00:07:25,624 --> 00:07:29,324 So the building's really dead and you guys lied to me. 160 00:07:29,825 --> 00:07:32,414 We just did it to protect you, Ted. 161 00:07:32,592 --> 00:07:35,275 I can't believe this. I just got screwed by my 2 best friends 162 00:07:35,401 --> 00:07:37,166 and I didn't even know it. 163 00:07:38,717 --> 00:07:41,766 In Canada, that's called a "Sneaky Snowplow". 164 00:07:46,247 --> 00:07:50,137 That building was my dream job, and now, it's just gone. 165 00:07:50,327 --> 00:07:51,390 We're so sorry. 166 00:07:51,778 --> 00:07:53,329 Yeah, I need a drink. 167 00:07:53,989 --> 00:07:54,990 Poor Ted. 168 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:58,810 Would I seem heartless if I switched us back to Canadian Sex Acts? 169 00:07:58,935 --> 00:08:01,069 - Not at all. - I'm surprised you waited this long. 170 00:08:01,194 --> 00:08:03,080 What the hell is a "Two-Hand Zamboni"? 171 00:08:03,270 --> 00:08:04,855 Let's just say, the only thing 172 00:08:04,980 --> 00:08:07,737 the woman is wearing is skates on her hands. 173 00:08:08,888 --> 00:08:10,679 A "Manitoba Milk Bag"? 174 00:08:10,869 --> 00:08:13,973 Okay, it's like a "Chicago Mustache", but the person on the bottom 175 00:08:14,098 --> 00:08:15,397 is wearing a snowsuit. 176 00:08:16,034 --> 00:08:18,193 A "Newfoundland Lobster Trap"? 177 00:08:18,471 --> 00:08:21,841 Don't know. Don't want to know. Those Newfies are out of control. 178 00:08:22,099 --> 00:08:23,788 Okay, I'm gonna make my first guess. 179 00:08:23,978 --> 00:08:25,550 Okay, but I'll only tell you 180 00:08:25,675 --> 00:08:29,257 if you correctly guess the person, the act and the collection. 181 00:08:29,651 --> 00:08:31,096 Okay, I'm gonna go. 182 00:08:31,221 --> 00:08:32,292 Bryan Adams. 183 00:08:32,641 --> 00:08:34,602 He collects baseball cards, 184 00:08:35,211 --> 00:08:38,654 and he wanted to do a "Greasy Kayak". 185 00:08:41,010 --> 00:08:43,617 Wayne Gretzky, vintage Hot Wheels, 186 00:08:44,152 --> 00:08:45,574 a "Squatting Eskimo". 187 00:08:46,857 --> 00:08:50,004 Kiefer Sutherland, souvenir shot glasses, 188 00:08:50,129 --> 00:08:52,279 and a "Sticky Flapjack". 189 00:08:53,966 --> 00:08:55,618 That I would have done. 190 00:08:56,042 --> 00:08:57,097 Wait. 191 00:08:57,222 --> 00:08:59,652 Wait, if they pulled the plug on the project a month ago, 192 00:08:59,939 --> 00:09:01,601 why have I been going in once a week 193 00:09:01,726 --> 00:09:03,701 to meet with the New Headquarters Task Force? 194 00:09:04,201 --> 00:09:06,942 Well, obviously you couldn't come in and pitch to Bilson. 195 00:09:07,067 --> 00:09:09,880 So, we... invented the task force. 196 00:09:10,596 --> 00:09:13,429 Then it was just a question of putting together the team. 197 00:09:14,317 --> 00:09:17,103 You know Roy Waterman, Vice President of Capital and Risk, 198 00:09:17,999 --> 00:09:19,400 he's actually... 199 00:09:19,590 --> 00:09:20,811 Roy the janitor. 200 00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:22,238 Excuse me, Roy. 201 00:09:22,588 --> 00:09:25,214 How'd you like to make a few extra bucks? 202 00:09:25,961 --> 00:09:27,499 How naked do I have to get? 203 00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:31,590 Louisa Mendoza, Executive Vice President of Assets, 204 00:09:32,477 --> 00:09:33,761 she's actually... 205 00:09:34,050 --> 00:09:35,598 Louisa the lunch lady. 206 00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:37,737 Louisa, I need your help with something, 207 00:09:37,862 --> 00:09:39,648 but you can't tell anybody. 208 00:09:42,296 --> 00:09:45,274 Exactly. This is a big secret. 209 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:46,912 How do you say "secret" in Spanish? 210 00:09:49,234 --> 00:09:51,413 Ah, yes. Albondigas. 211 00:09:52,374 --> 00:09:55,615 This will be our little albondigas. 212 00:09:57,465 --> 00:10:00,117 Can I have a couple meatballs, please? 213 00:10:00,839 --> 00:10:04,238 And Arthur Nasmith, the eccentric genius guru of corporate investments, 214 00:10:04,969 --> 00:10:06,326 he's actually... 215 00:10:06,517 --> 00:10:10,000 Crazy Arty, 15th Street's own one-man band. 216 00:10:10,190 --> 00:10:12,004 Excuse me. Do you have a minute to talk? 217 00:10:12,194 --> 00:10:14,885 Actually, my assistant, Reginald, makes all my appointments. 218 00:10:20,572 --> 00:10:22,781 We rounded up the group with a few interns 219 00:10:22,906 --> 00:10:26,826 and payed everyone 50 bucks to act super interested in what you were saying. 220 00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:36,407 Reginald, get me out of this for next week. 221 00:10:37,038 --> 00:10:39,147 That was some of the most inspired design work. 222 00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:42,314 I've done in my entire career. I was so excited. 223 00:10:45,344 --> 00:10:47,798 Alex Trebek, a "Musty Goaltender", 224 00:10:47,923 --> 00:10:49,329 - Beanie Babies! - Nope. 225 00:10:49,538 --> 00:10:51,500 - Damn it! - Wait. 226 00:10:51,690 --> 00:10:54,172 So that explains the thing that happened with Louisa. 227 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:56,259 - Good job, buddy. - Nice! 228 00:11:00,416 --> 00:11:01,381 Listen, Louisa. 229 00:11:01,506 --> 00:11:05,444 What are we going to do about this? 230 00:11:07,211 --> 00:11:09,261 Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. 231 00:11:09,387 --> 00:11:11,170 I know you feel it, too. 232 00:11:12,823 --> 00:11:14,223 What the hell. 233 00:11:26,713 --> 00:11:28,068 No, this is wrong! 234 00:11:28,487 --> 00:11:31,204 For God's sake, you're on the task force! 235 00:11:33,973 --> 00:11:36,382 Is there anything else you want to tell me? 236 00:11:38,248 --> 00:11:41,015 You know how you played third base for the GNB softball team. 237 00:11:42,311 --> 00:11:44,284 There is no GNB softball team. 238 00:11:44,736 --> 00:11:46,587 We just rented out a field, 239 00:11:46,712 --> 00:11:49,530 rounded up a bunch of guys and told them to make you the hero. 240 00:11:50,042 --> 00:11:51,869 So my game-winning walk was a lie? 241 00:11:53,125 --> 00:11:55,581 We're sorry, but we knew that you'd be out of work soon, 242 00:11:55,706 --> 00:11:58,258 we just wanted to make you feel good. That's what friends do. 243 00:11:58,449 --> 00:11:59,529 Lie to each other? 244 00:11:59,654 --> 00:12:01,889 Sometimes, yeah, to protect each other's feelings. 245 00:12:02,081 --> 00:12:05,898 No way! You never lie to your friends. I would never not be honest with you. 246 00:12:06,089 --> 00:12:09,175 Really? What about that open mic night at the comedy club? 247 00:12:09,838 --> 00:12:11,682 Are you like me, folks? 248 00:12:11,807 --> 00:12:15,556 Have you ever thought about how many different kinds of fish there are? 249 00:12:15,681 --> 00:12:19,133 And the names of those fish? 250 00:12:20,902 --> 00:12:22,347 Let's take a little ride. 251 00:12:25,043 --> 00:12:26,023 "Trout." 252 00:12:26,909 --> 00:12:27,768 Am I right? 253 00:12:27,893 --> 00:12:30,149 "Sturgeon." I don't think so, pal. 254 00:12:30,997 --> 00:12:31,998 "Salmon." 255 00:12:32,924 --> 00:12:34,447 I'm going to say that again... 256 00:12:34,804 --> 00:12:35,805 Salmon. 257 00:12:35,930 --> 00:12:38,044 Who thought that was a good idea, right? 258 00:12:38,538 --> 00:12:41,367 "Bass." This guy over here knows what I'm talking about. 259 00:12:43,086 --> 00:12:44,214 "Halibut." 260 00:12:44,416 --> 00:12:45,860 Thank you, good night. 261 00:12:50,135 --> 00:12:51,989 - How was it? - You were great. Really funny. 262 00:12:52,181 --> 00:12:53,571 You killed... 263 00:12:54,317 --> 00:12:56,119 everyone's Thursday night. 264 00:12:57,859 --> 00:13:00,661 Time out. You didn't like the fish list? 265 00:13:00,865 --> 00:13:03,763 It was horrible! You just read a list of fish. 266 00:13:07,980 --> 00:13:08,981 Anyway... 267 00:13:09,703 --> 00:13:13,198 you guys just proved my point, okay? You lied to me to protect my feelings. 268 00:13:13,390 --> 00:13:16,892 This is completely different! I just wasted a month of my life 269 00:13:17,017 --> 00:13:18,379 working on a dead project. 270 00:13:18,504 --> 00:13:21,007 That's time I could've spent trying to bring my firm new business. 271 00:13:21,197 --> 00:13:23,924 Instead, I'm going to go in there tomorrow morning. 272 00:13:24,049 --> 00:13:26,887 I'm probably going to get fired. Best case scenario, 273 00:13:27,012 --> 00:13:29,917 my boss is going to ream me out in front of everybody. 274 00:13:31,622 --> 00:13:34,910 - Back home, we call that a Sas... - "Saskatoon Totem Pole." It's on here. 275 00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:42,822 Good morning, lying bastards. 276 00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:46,648 Anything you want to lie about before I head off to work to get fired? 277 00:13:46,816 --> 00:13:48,401 - Nice shirt. - You're the devil. 278 00:13:48,751 --> 00:13:51,995 Ted, what if we told you that we found you a new project at GNB 279 00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:54,539 where you would be redesigning part of the 20th floor. 280 00:13:55,094 --> 00:13:57,126 If that's a lie, it's an incredibly dull one. 281 00:13:58,296 --> 00:14:02,513 - What exactly would I be doing? - This is the 18th Floor E.T.R. 282 00:14:02,858 --> 00:14:05,007 Basically, Bilson wants a room just like this, 283 00:14:05,132 --> 00:14:06,813 only two stories up, on our floor. 284 00:14:07,122 --> 00:14:10,236 - Wait, what's an E.T.R.? - It's the Employee Transition Room. 285 00:14:10,546 --> 00:14:12,705 - What does that mean? - Well, it's a space 286 00:14:12,830 --> 00:14:14,866 where a supervisor and employee 287 00:14:14,991 --> 00:14:16,721 engage in a knowledge transfer 288 00:14:16,846 --> 00:14:19,463 about an impending vocational paradigm shift. 289 00:14:20,567 --> 00:14:21,801 People get fired in here. 290 00:14:22,170 --> 00:14:23,472 That's horrible! 291 00:14:24,406 --> 00:14:26,555 Why do you need a room specifically for firing people? 292 00:14:27,913 --> 00:14:29,450 GNB feels that people need a safe, 293 00:14:29,575 --> 00:14:32,030 secure space to deal with the news. 294 00:14:33,844 --> 00:14:35,285 It gets pretty real in here. 295 00:15:21,740 --> 00:15:24,028 So I reluctantly agreed to design a room 296 00:15:24,153 --> 00:15:27,464 where people would be fired. But I was determined to make it my own. 297 00:15:27,589 --> 00:15:29,395 Now, when you leave the dismissal space, 298 00:15:29,704 --> 00:15:32,007 you'll exit into what I'm calling 299 00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:34,822 "the Rebirth Tranquility Hallway". 300 00:15:37,259 --> 00:15:39,875 Here, you'll find a soothing oval chamber 301 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,650 with a trained grief counselor. 302 00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:43,882 It's right here, past the New Beginnings Fountain. 303 00:15:45,902 --> 00:15:49,470 And there you have it. Instead of a drab, dark prison cell, 304 00:15:50,316 --> 00:15:51,439 a nurturing womb... 305 00:15:53,250 --> 00:15:55,751 birthing you into a new life. 306 00:15:56,694 --> 00:15:58,452 - I love it. - Really? 307 00:15:59,472 --> 00:16:01,291 - Nice work, Ted. - Thank you. 308 00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:04,799 Can you add some of these touches to the existing 18th Floor E.T.R. as well? 309 00:16:05,108 --> 00:16:06,844 - Absolutely. - Great. 310 00:16:07,012 --> 00:16:08,318 Let's take a look. 311 00:16:12,986 --> 00:16:15,612 - Okay, so I'm thinking this wall... - You're fired! 312 00:16:16,003 --> 00:16:17,813 - What? - I wanted this room! 313 00:16:18,123 --> 00:16:20,831 This exact room two floors up! 314 00:16:21,140 --> 00:16:22,584 - But... - You're fired! 315 00:16:23,337 --> 00:16:25,156 Now, get the hell out of here. 316 00:16:28,664 --> 00:16:29,739 Hey, honey. 317 00:16:35,461 --> 00:16:37,137 Anyone from the band Rush, 318 00:16:37,262 --> 00:16:40,699 a "Montreal Meatpie", and superhero lunch boxes. 319 00:16:43,611 --> 00:16:44,968 Rick Moranis, 320 00:16:45,093 --> 00:16:47,120 "The Reverse Rick Moranis", 321 00:16:47,245 --> 00:16:48,589 antique Judaica. 322 00:16:49,718 --> 00:16:50,664 I give up. 323 00:16:50,789 --> 00:16:52,753 I've been guessing for three days. 324 00:16:52,878 --> 00:16:53,917 I'm done. 325 00:16:54,161 --> 00:16:56,647 If that means I never get to know, so be it. 326 00:16:56,878 --> 00:16:58,513 - Fine. - Tell us! 327 00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:03,222 - You really want to know? - Yes! 328 00:17:05,196 --> 00:17:07,586 But this information does not leave this table. 329 00:17:09,812 --> 00:17:12,327 Oh, my, God. I am so excited. 330 00:17:13,989 --> 00:17:15,435 - I'm gonna read it. - Read it. 331 00:17:15,603 --> 00:17:18,033 - Read it. - I'm gonna read it. Here we go. 332 00:17:19,090 --> 00:17:20,976 "The Frozen Snowshoe, 333 00:17:21,101 --> 00:17:24,740 "Old King Clancy, Harvey's trays." 334 00:17:27,602 --> 00:17:28,461 Right. 335 00:17:29,295 --> 00:17:31,509 I don't know what any of those words mean. 336 00:17:32,594 --> 00:17:35,019 Is one of those supposed to be a celebrity? 337 00:17:35,950 --> 00:17:37,114 Who the hell... 338 00:17:37,566 --> 00:17:39,148 is Old King Clancy? 339 00:17:39,338 --> 00:17:42,463 No, that's not the person, that's the sex act. 340 00:17:42,588 --> 00:17:44,674 It's the same as a Sacramento Turtleneck, 341 00:17:44,799 --> 00:17:46,246 except with maple syrup. 342 00:17:46,862 --> 00:17:49,810 So the celebrity was Harvey Straze? 343 00:17:50,151 --> 00:17:53,051 No, that's what he collected. Harvey's trays. 344 00:17:53,343 --> 00:17:56,517 Those classic orange trays you get whenever you eat at Harvey's. 345 00:17:57,846 --> 00:17:59,079 The restaurant? 346 00:17:59,204 --> 00:18:02,438 Come on, you're road tripping down the Trans-Canada Highway, 347 00:18:02,563 --> 00:18:04,997 you get a hunger on between Milverton and Wawa, 348 00:18:05,122 --> 00:18:07,177 where you gonna strap on a feed bag, huh? 349 00:18:07,302 --> 00:18:09,730 Harvey's. Over 12,000 served! 350 00:18:10,951 --> 00:18:12,424 So the celebrity was... 351 00:18:12,613 --> 00:18:14,678 The Frozen Snowshoe. 352 00:18:15,724 --> 00:18:19,199 Oh, my God! You guys have never heard of The Frozen Snowshoe? 353 00:18:19,324 --> 00:18:21,984 He's only the most famous professional wrestler in Canada. 354 00:18:23,071 --> 00:18:26,453 I met him after he defeated Reckless Rick Rogers 355 00:18:26,578 --> 00:18:29,062 in the Kamloops Memorial Arena back in '02. 356 00:18:29,392 --> 00:18:30,460 Classic match. 357 00:18:31,036 --> 00:18:34,392 So you're saying The Frozen Snowshoe 358 00:18:34,674 --> 00:18:36,576 invited you back to his place 359 00:18:36,701 --> 00:18:38,816 to look at Harvey's trays, 360 00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:41,857 and asked you to do an Old King Clancy? 361 00:18:42,088 --> 00:18:43,027 Exactly. 362 00:18:43,348 --> 00:18:45,702 And I'm serious, you cannot tell anyone. 363 00:18:47,076 --> 00:18:48,869 My hiccups are gone. 364 00:18:49,210 --> 00:18:50,458 Possibly forever. 365 00:18:51,373 --> 00:18:53,774 Canada! You did it again. 366 00:18:53,995 --> 00:18:56,537 You even found a way to ruin this. 367 00:18:56,662 --> 00:19:00,497 Why? Why do we let you be a country? 368 00:19:00,958 --> 00:19:02,559 Hey, Mister Whisper. 369 00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:05,572 Shouldn't you be upstairs designing your big fancy E.T.R.? 370 00:19:06,124 --> 00:19:08,034 - I'm off the project. - What? 371 00:19:08,224 --> 00:19:10,665 - Bilson fired me. - You're kidding me. 372 00:19:10,854 --> 00:19:13,023 So what does this mean for you at your firm? 373 00:19:13,148 --> 00:19:15,992 - Are you gonna get laid off? - Actually, 374 00:19:16,117 --> 00:19:17,429 I just quit. 375 00:19:17,660 --> 00:19:18,431 Why? 376 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:21,895 Because I can't work for big, heartless corporate clients anymore. 377 00:19:22,315 --> 00:19:24,034 When I was pitching to your "task force", 378 00:19:24,159 --> 00:19:27,323 I was doing the most inspired work of my career. In a way, 379 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,699 you idiots reminded me how much fun my job can be 380 00:19:30,824 --> 00:19:33,660 when I'm not answering to the Bilsons of the world, so... 381 00:19:33,785 --> 00:19:34,941 I quit. 382 00:19:37,533 --> 00:19:39,584 - They fired you, didn't they? - Yes, sir. 383 00:19:40,392 --> 00:19:43,603 But I got a sweet severance package and I've made a big decision. 384 00:19:43,728 --> 00:19:45,485 I'm gonna start my own firm. 385 00:19:45,674 --> 00:19:47,656 - That's exciting. - In this economy? 386 00:19:49,077 --> 00:19:50,953 So you're not mad? 387 00:19:51,512 --> 00:19:54,043 As it turns out, I'm grateful. 388 00:19:56,618 --> 00:19:58,469 How'd it all go down between you and Bilson? 389 00:19:59,797 --> 00:20:02,142 After he proposed a vocational paradigm shift, 390 00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:05,175 I made an impromptu presentation using a four-pronged approach 391 00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:07,779 - that really brought him to his knees. - Hit him with a chair? 392 00:20:07,947 --> 00:20:09,323 - Yep - That's my boy. 393 00:20:13,964 --> 00:20:16,749 And this one, I got on the drive from Milverton to Wawa. 394 00:20:18,365 --> 00:20:21,509 That's pretty impressive, The Frozen Snowshoe. 395 00:20:21,746 --> 00:20:23,555 Please, we're friends. Just call me "Shoe". 396 00:20:24,698 --> 00:20:25,799 Have a seat. 397 00:20:31,414 --> 00:20:32,465 So, Shoe... 398 00:20:33,701 --> 00:20:35,807 How would you like to give me... 399 00:20:37,995 --> 00:20:39,527 an "Old King Clancy"? 400 00:20:43,364 --> 00:20:44,513 I think you should go.