1 00:00:02,131 --> 00:00:04,793 Great. So, um, I'll give you a call. 2 00:00:04,863 --> 00:00:05,964 I hope you do. 3 00:00:06,034 --> 00:00:06,865 All right. 4 00:00:07,836 --> 00:00:09,498 Look at this. 5 00:00:09,568 --> 00:00:11,970 Hey. I just got that girl's number. 6 00:00:12,040 --> 00:00:14,203 Check it out. Holly. 7 00:00:14,273 --> 00:00:15,374 Nice. 8 00:00:16,675 --> 00:00:19,408 Girls whose names end in L-Y are always dirty. 9 00:00:19,478 --> 00:00:22,611 Holly, Kelly, Carly, Lily. 10 00:00:22,681 --> 00:00:24,112 Hey! 11 00:00:24,183 --> 00:00:26,685 Oh, yeah, I know it's true. 12 00:00:26,755 --> 00:00:29,117 And don't even get me started 13 00:00:29,188 --> 00:00:31,360 on girls whose names should end in Y, 14 00:00:31,420 --> 00:00:33,162 but instead end in I. 15 00:00:33,222 --> 00:00:35,824 Those girls are like roller coasters. 16 00:00:35,894 --> 00:00:38,197 You got to wait in a long line, but once you get up there, 17 00:00:38,267 --> 00:00:39,398 you just hold on for dear life 18 00:00:39,468 --> 00:00:40,599 and hope you don't drop your keys. 19 00:00:40,669 --> 00:00:42,501 Hey, you know what I'm gonna do? 20 00:00:42,571 --> 00:00:44,403 I'm gonna call her right now. 21 00:00:44,473 --> 00:00:45,334 I'm gonna do that whole, 22 00:00:45,404 --> 00:00:46,535 "Hey, remember me?" 23 00:00:46,605 --> 00:00:47,976 "It's been so long." 24 00:00:49,278 --> 00:00:51,440 See, it's funny because I just saw her. 25 00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:52,641 Dude, you can't call her. 26 00:00:52,711 --> 00:00:54,112 You have to wait three days to call a woman. 27 00:00:54,183 --> 00:00:55,284 That's the rule. 28 00:00:55,344 --> 00:00:57,286 Barney, that rule is completely played out. 29 00:00:57,346 --> 00:00:58,917 Girls know exactly what you're doing. 30 00:00:58,987 --> 00:01:00,719 Hey, I got a new rule. 31 00:01:00,789 --> 00:01:03,091 It's kind of crazy, but I call it, 32 00:01:03,152 --> 00:01:05,394 You like her, you call her. 33 00:01:05,454 --> 00:01:06,955 I'm sorry. Can you repeat that? 34 00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:09,057 I don't speak I Never Get Laid. 35 00:01:09,127 --> 00:01:12,231 Barney, the Three Days Rule is insane. 36 00:01:12,301 --> 00:01:15,304 I mean, who even came up with that? 37 00:01:15,364 --> 00:01:16,935 Jesus. 38 00:01:17,005 --> 00:01:18,437 Barney, don't do this. 39 00:01:18,507 --> 00:01:19,908 Not with Jesus. 40 00:01:19,968 --> 00:01:21,240 Seriously. 41 00:01:21,310 --> 00:01:23,612 Jesus started the whole wait-three-days thing. 42 00:01:23,672 --> 00:01:25,974 He waited three days to come back to life. 43 00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:27,316 It was perfect. 44 00:01:27,376 --> 00:01:29,047 If he have only waited one day, 45 00:01:29,117 --> 00:01:31,220 a lot of people wouldn't have even heard that he died. 46 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:33,222 They'd be all, "Hey, Jesus, what up?" 47 00:01:33,282 --> 00:01:34,453 And Jesus would probably be, 48 00:01:34,523 --> 00:01:35,724 like, "What up? 49 00:01:35,784 --> 00:01:37,356 I died yesterday." 50 00:01:37,426 --> 00:01:39,228 And then they'd be all, 51 00:01:39,288 --> 00:01:41,460 "Uh, you look pretty alive to me, dude." 52 00:01:41,530 --> 00:01:42,961 And then Jesus would have to explain how 53 00:01:43,031 --> 00:01:45,164 he was resurrected and how it was a miracle. 54 00:01:45,234 --> 00:01:47,166 And then, the dude would be, like, 55 00:01:47,236 --> 00:01:49,298 "Uh, okay, whatever you say, bro." 56 00:01:49,368 --> 00:01:52,541 Wow, ancient dialogue sounds so stilted now. 57 00:01:52,601 --> 00:01:54,743 And he's not going to come back on a Saturday. 58 00:01:54,803 --> 00:01:57,306 Everybody's busy doing chores. 59 00:01:57,376 --> 00:01:59,308 Working the loom, trimming their beards. 60 00:01:59,378 --> 00:02:03,111 No. He waits the exact right number of days... 61 00:02:03,182 --> 00:02:04,853 Three. 62 00:02:04,913 --> 00:02:06,685 Okay, I promise— I'll wait three days. 63 00:02:06,755 --> 00:02:08,217 Just please stop talking. 64 00:02:08,287 --> 00:02:10,159 Plus, it's Sunday, 65 00:02:10,219 --> 00:02:11,460 so everyone's in church already. 66 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:12,861 They're all in there, 67 00:02:12,921 --> 00:02:15,694 "Oh, no, Jesus is dead." 68 00:02:15,764 --> 00:02:17,065 Then, bam! He bursts through 69 00:02:17,125 --> 00:02:19,498 the back door, runs up the aisle. 70 00:02:19,568 --> 00:02:21,200 Everyone's totally psyched. 71 00:02:21,270 --> 00:02:23,302 And, FYI, that's when he invented the high-five. 72 00:02:23,372 --> 00:02:25,073 Hmm. Three days, Ted. 73 00:02:25,134 --> 00:02:28,177 We wait three days to call a woman 74 00:02:28,237 --> 00:02:31,310 because that's how long Jesus wants us to wait. 75 00:02:32,781 --> 00:02:34,913 True story. 76 00:02:48,897 --> 00:02:51,099 Okay, fine. I promise, 77 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:53,101 I won't call Holly for three days. 78 00:02:53,162 --> 00:02:56,205 But I never said anything about texting. 79 00:02:56,265 --> 00:02:58,607 I started things off with something cute and charming. 80 00:02:58,667 --> 00:03:00,068 "I was thinking about you, 81 00:03:00,139 --> 00:03:03,442 so I thought I'd send you a little texty text." 82 00:03:03,512 --> 00:03:05,013 And the moment I hit "Send," 83 00:03:05,073 --> 00:03:07,075 I realized it wasn't cute at all. 84 00:03:07,146 --> 00:03:10,619 It was the lamest thing anyone has ever said to anyone. 85 00:03:10,679 --> 00:03:12,621 And the worst thing about texting 86 00:03:12,681 --> 00:03:14,052 is that once you send it... 87 00:03:16,054 --> 00:03:18,857 Oh, no! 88 00:03:18,927 --> 00:03:20,058 No! 89 00:03:21,290 --> 00:03:22,831 you can never get it back. 90 00:03:22,891 --> 00:03:25,534 And then... you wait. 91 00:03:25,594 --> 00:03:28,597 ? And just when you've decided never to text anyone again... 92 00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:32,601 "I've been thinking about you, too," 93 00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:35,003 "and how weird is it that you texted me 94 00:03:35,073 --> 00:03:37,376 while I was in the bath?" 95 00:03:42,651 --> 00:03:45,113 - What was that? -What? 96 00:03:45,184 --> 00:03:46,084 You made a noise. 97 00:03:46,084 --> 00:03:48,086 That was my phone. I got a text. 98 00:03:48,157 --> 00:03:51,560 - Not that. You made your naked lady noise. -What? 99 00:03:51,620 --> 00:03:54,223 Whenever you see a naked lady, you make the noise, 100 00:03:54,293 --> 00:03:57,426 haha, haha, hahaha, ha-haha. 101 00:03:57,496 --> 00:03:58,427 I don't do that. 102 00:03:58,497 --> 00:03:59,798 Really? 103 00:04:02,301 --> 00:04:04,303 Oh, God, sorry, Lily. 104 00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:10,879 While the men are out hunting, 105 00:04:10,939 --> 00:04:12,911 the women of New Guinea's indigenous Korowai tribe 106 00:04:12,981 --> 00:04:14,943 wash their clothes in the river. 107 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,752 That's totally a boob. 108 00:04:26,595 --> 00:04:28,227 Is that Holly who keeps texting you? 109 00:04:28,297 --> 00:04:29,898 Didn't you promise to wait three days? 110 00:04:29,958 --> 00:04:31,260 To call, yes. 111 00:04:31,330 --> 00:04:32,631 Texting is totally different. 112 00:04:32,701 --> 00:04:33,902 Okay, well, just try 113 00:04:33,962 --> 00:04:36,165 to keep the naked lady noises to a minimum. 114 00:04:36,235 --> 00:04:38,337 I don't make a naked lady noise. 115 00:04:39,538 --> 00:04:41,540 Really? 116 00:04:47,075 --> 00:04:50,749 Holly and I stayed up texting until 2:00 in the morning. 117 00:04:50,819 --> 00:04:54,022 And we spent the whole next day texting each other, too. 118 00:04:55,484 --> 00:04:57,186 She seemed perfect. 119 00:04:59,188 --> 00:05:01,560 Holly just told me what she's wearing right now. 120 00:05:01,630 --> 00:05:02,891 It is pretty hot. 121 00:05:02,961 --> 00:05:04,193 Yeah, whatever it is, 122 00:05:04,263 --> 00:05:05,864 I can guarantee you she's not wearing it. 123 00:05:05,934 --> 00:05:07,596 She's lying to you to make you like her. 124 00:05:07,666 --> 00:05:09,198 - How do you know that? -Here. Come here. 125 00:05:09,268 --> 00:05:12,271 Because no woman in the history of the world 126 00:05:12,341 --> 00:05:15,444 is ever "just sitting around reading architecture magazines 127 00:05:15,504 --> 00:05:18,277 in my old cheerleader uniform." 128 00:05:18,347 --> 00:05:22,551 Okay, maybe she's lying about the architecture magazines. 129 00:05:27,085 --> 00:05:28,387 Oh, no. 130 00:05:28,457 --> 00:05:30,419 Oh, no. This is bad. 131 00:05:30,489 --> 00:05:31,160 What? 132 00:05:31,220 --> 00:05:32,861 She just sent me a text 133 00:05:32,921 --> 00:05:34,663 that was clearly meant for someone else. 134 00:05:34,723 --> 00:05:38,467 "Hey, baby, I picked up some take-out from Generro's. 135 00:05:38,527 --> 00:05:39,798 Be home soon." 136 00:05:40,729 --> 00:05:42,401 Okay, yes, this sounds bad, 137 00:05:42,471 --> 00:05:43,972 but let's think about this, okay? 138 00:05:44,032 --> 00:05:47,876 It could be for a brother or maybe her sick dad. 139 00:05:47,936 --> 00:05:49,538 Scroll down. 140 00:05:49,608 --> 00:05:54,783 "And then I want you to do me on the couch." 141 00:05:54,843 --> 00:05:56,885 Okay, maybe not a sick dad. 142 00:05:56,945 --> 00:06:00,419 Or a very sick dad. 143 00:06:00,489 --> 00:06:01,750 Am I right? 144 00:06:03,422 --> 00:06:05,354 Sorry. 145 00:06:05,424 --> 00:06:06,595 Hey, guys. 146 00:06:07,956 --> 00:06:09,057 Oh, ooh. God. 147 00:06:09,127 --> 00:06:10,359 What is this? 148 00:06:11,930 --> 00:06:13,162 It's just some take-out from Generro's. 149 00:06:13,232 --> 00:06:14,433 I'm bringing it home for Lily. 150 00:06:14,503 --> 00:06:15,964 Oh, that's weird. 151 00:06:16,034 --> 00:06:17,236 Holly just texted Ted something about 152 00:06:17,236 --> 00:06:18,937 take-out from Generro's. 153 00:06:19,668 --> 00:06:21,940 Wait a second. 154 00:06:23,672 --> 00:06:26,074 - You sons of bitches. -What? 155 00:06:27,075 --> 00:06:29,077 You're Holly! 156 00:06:32,521 --> 00:06:35,554 So Ted hasn't been texting Holly at all? 157 00:06:35,624 --> 00:06:37,186 He's been texting you two? 158 00:06:37,256 --> 00:06:40,389 Look, we knew he'd try to call her before the three days, 159 00:06:40,459 --> 00:06:41,790 so I swiped his phone, 160 00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:44,233 and I changed her number to my work cell. 161 00:06:44,293 --> 00:06:47,236 We were just gonna bust on him for calling her too soon, 162 00:06:47,296 --> 00:06:49,668 but then he started texting her. 163 00:06:49,738 --> 00:06:53,001 "Texty text"? 164 00:06:53,071 --> 00:06:54,373 Oh, Ted. 165 00:06:54,443 --> 00:06:56,475 Oh, poor, sweet Ted. 166 00:06:56,545 --> 00:06:58,777 We should... we should tell him it's us. 167 00:06:58,847 --> 00:07:00,279 Yeah. 168 00:07:00,349 --> 00:07:04,453 Or... we pretend we're Holly, and we're in the bath. 169 00:07:04,513 --> 00:07:06,415 Yeah, that's better. 170 00:07:12,791 --> 00:07:14,223 Well, that was fun. 171 00:07:14,293 --> 00:07:15,964 We should tell him that it's us. 172 00:07:16,024 --> 00:07:17,125 Yeah, we should. 173 00:07:17,196 --> 00:07:18,627 Or... 174 00:07:18,697 --> 00:07:20,899 we tell him our favorite color is red, 175 00:07:20,969 --> 00:07:23,772 and we think the cowboy look is very sexy. 176 00:07:23,832 --> 00:07:26,375 Yeah, that's better. 177 00:07:26,435 --> 00:07:28,837 I'm wearing them right now, 178 00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:31,410 and they do look sexy. 179 00:07:32,811 --> 00:07:34,042 He put on the boots! 180 00:07:34,112 --> 00:07:35,684 He totally put on the boots! 181 00:07:36,985 --> 00:07:38,847 That was awesome! 182 00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:40,048 But it's time to tell him 183 00:07:40,118 --> 00:07:41,690 who he really put those boots on for. 184 00:07:41,750 --> 00:07:42,851 Yeah. 185 00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:44,923 Or... 186 00:07:44,993 --> 00:07:46,895 we just took off our shirt. 187 00:07:46,955 --> 00:07:48,697 Yeah, that's better. 188 00:07:48,757 --> 00:07:50,929 Oh! Oh! You think 189 00:07:50,999 --> 00:07:54,733 maybe we're wearing a black lace bra underneath? 190 00:07:54,803 --> 00:07:57,906 I don't think we're wearing anything underneath. 191 00:07:57,966 --> 00:07:59,438 God, we're hot. 192 00:08:02,511 --> 00:08:04,443 Now he's only wearing the cowboy boots! 193 00:08:04,513 --> 00:08:05,944 It is on! 194 00:08:06,014 --> 00:08:07,176 It is so on! 195 00:08:07,246 --> 00:08:08,747 Okay, okay, tell him that we're... 196 00:08:08,817 --> 00:08:11,350 we're slowing slipping out of our... 197 00:08:12,681 --> 00:08:14,283 What are we doing? 198 00:08:16,625 --> 00:08:19,828 I think that we're about to have sex with Ted. 199 00:08:24,763 --> 00:08:26,935 So, you did this to him all day? 200 00:08:26,995 --> 00:08:28,437 That's just mean. 201 00:08:28,497 --> 00:08:30,299 No, no. No, it was... 202 00:08:30,399 --> 00:08:32,171 It was actually for his own good. 203 00:08:32,241 --> 00:08:33,472 We're protecting him from himself. 204 00:08:33,542 --> 00:08:34,803 He... No. He really likes this girl. 205 00:08:34,873 --> 00:08:36,745 He had that-that look in his eye. 206 00:08:36,805 --> 00:08:37,906 Yeah, that crazy "I'm about 207 00:08:37,976 --> 00:08:39,678 to move too fast and screw this up" look. 208 00:08:39,748 --> 00:08:41,079 Yeah. 209 00:08:41,150 --> 00:08:42,251 It was actually the same look 210 00:08:42,251 --> 00:08:43,352 he had on his first date with you. 211 00:08:43,412 --> 00:08:44,753 And we all remember how that went. 212 00:08:44,813 --> 00:08:45,754 Yeah. 213 00:08:45,814 --> 00:08:47,856 I think I'm in love with you. 214 00:08:47,916 --> 00:08:49,087 What? 215 00:08:49,158 --> 00:08:52,221 Yeah, well, I-I think I was a special case. 216 00:08:52,291 --> 00:08:55,164 This Holly is no Robin Scherbatsky. 217 00:08:55,164 --> 00:08:57,726 Hey, what is the deal with her hair? 218 00:08:57,726 --> 00:08:59,928 I mean, news flash: they make conditioners 219 00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:01,830 that don't leave a buildup. 220 00:09:01,900 --> 00:09:03,602 I'm so bad. 221 00:09:03,672 --> 00:09:05,974 Look, it's been a while since Ted really liked someone. 222 00:09:06,034 --> 00:09:08,076 He's clearly got a lot of crazy stored up. 223 00:09:08,137 --> 00:09:10,879 We just... we thought we'd get him to say "I love you" 224 00:09:10,939 --> 00:09:12,741 before he even makes contact with this girl. 225 00:09:12,811 --> 00:09:14,683 And you can tell it's on the way. 226 00:09:14,743 --> 00:09:16,185 He's exhibiting all the telltale signs. 227 00:09:16,245 --> 00:09:18,947 Yeah. He joked about getting married. 228 00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:20,689 "You like architecture? 229 00:09:20,749 --> 00:09:21,820 "We should get married. 230 00:09:21,890 --> 00:09:23,091 "Ha-ha. 231 00:09:23,152 --> 00:09:24,353 "LOL. 232 00:09:24,423 --> 00:09:25,524 "Just kidding. 233 00:09:25,594 --> 00:09:27,095 Question mark?" 234 00:09:27,156 --> 00:09:30,599 He made a crazy way-too-soon trip suggestion. 235 00:09:30,659 --> 00:09:32,201 "I like beer, too. 236 00:09:32,261 --> 00:09:34,463 "We should totally go to Germany together. 237 00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:36,104 "LOL. JK. 238 00:09:36,165 --> 00:09:38,437 LOL." 239 00:09:39,368 --> 00:09:40,609 And three: 240 00:09:40,669 --> 00:09:42,641 He got way too personal way too soon. 241 00:09:42,711 --> 00:09:45,674 "Yeah, my parents got divorced a couple years back. 242 00:09:45,744 --> 00:09:47,276 "It was really tough. 243 00:09:47,346 --> 00:09:49,978 LOL." 244 00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:52,681 And he clearly doesn't know what LOL means. 245 00:09:52,751 --> 00:09:54,183 Yeah, but here's the real problem. 246 00:09:54,253 --> 00:09:55,754 Ted wasn't saying "I love you" 247 00:09:55,824 --> 00:09:57,526 as easily as we thought he would. 248 00:09:57,586 --> 00:09:59,858 Then we met... Stan. 249 00:10:05,234 --> 00:10:08,267 Why are you making so much noise, man? 250 00:10:10,139 --> 00:10:11,870 So we explained everything to him, 251 00:10:11,940 --> 00:10:15,444 and when we were done, something amazing happened. 252 00:10:15,504 --> 00:10:18,377 Why don't you tell Ted that just knowing he's out there, 253 00:10:18,447 --> 00:10:20,409 thinking about you, caring about you, 254 00:10:20,479 --> 00:10:22,080 makes you feel safe? 255 00:10:23,011 --> 00:10:24,313 So, all your fears, 256 00:10:24,383 --> 00:10:26,014 all your yesterdays wash away, 257 00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:29,518 and only hope remains in the promise of his embrace. 258 00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:33,622 Go, Stan. 259 00:10:33,692 --> 00:10:34,823 Who is this guy? 260 00:10:34,893 --> 00:10:36,465 He's a security guard who works nights. 261 00:10:36,525 --> 00:10:38,066 And he eats lunch at MacLaren's every day. 262 00:10:38,126 --> 00:10:39,228 And he wasn't done. 263 00:10:39,298 --> 00:10:40,629 Not by a long shot. 264 00:10:40,699 --> 00:10:43,732 You make me thank God for every mistake I ever made 265 00:10:43,802 --> 00:10:47,306 because each one led me down the path that brought me to you. 266 00:10:47,376 --> 00:10:50,639 That's, uh, really nice, man. 267 00:10:50,709 --> 00:10:52,581 Whatever. It's okay. 268 00:10:54,413 --> 00:10:56,145 "And when we finally come together, 269 00:10:56,215 --> 00:10:57,686 "I want you to hold me. 270 00:10:57,746 --> 00:11:00,149 "Hold me all night. 271 00:11:00,219 --> 00:11:01,590 "Stroke my hair. 272 00:11:01,650 --> 00:11:04,523 "Tell me I'm a woman and show me you're a man. 273 00:11:04,593 --> 00:11:06,625 "Until there there was only now. 274 00:11:06,695 --> 00:11:10,959 You and I... and now." 275 00:11:11,029 --> 00:11:13,162 Yes! 276 00:11:13,232 --> 00:11:15,934 You want me to text that to Ted. 277 00:11:16,004 --> 00:11:18,036 I know that. 278 00:11:19,138 --> 00:11:21,970 "I do not ask of the night explanations. 279 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:24,873 "I wait for it, and it envelops me, 280 00:11:24,943 --> 00:11:27,216 "and so you and bread 281 00:11:27,276 --> 00:11:31,620 and light and shadow are." 282 00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:33,722 That's Pablo Neruda. 283 00:11:33,782 --> 00:11:36,955 I don't know, um, what bread was doing in there, 284 00:11:37,025 --> 00:11:39,258 but that touched me here 285 00:11:39,328 --> 00:11:42,131 and here. 286 00:11:42,191 --> 00:11:43,692 Well, if Ted won't say it, 287 00:11:43,762 --> 00:11:45,864 I will. 288 00:11:45,934 --> 00:11:48,066 I love you. 289 00:11:49,097 --> 00:11:51,270 That's cool. 290 00:11:53,572 --> 00:11:54,743 Still nothing, huh? 291 00:11:54,803 --> 00:11:56,405 Maybe he's not in love with us. 292 00:11:56,475 --> 00:11:57,276 How can he not be in love with us? 293 00:11:57,346 --> 00:11:59,248 We're everything he's looking for. 294 00:11:59,308 --> 00:12:00,749 I don't get men. 295 00:12:02,311 --> 00:12:03,582 Got to head to work. 296 00:12:03,652 --> 00:12:05,754 Will you be... Will you be back? 297 00:12:05,814 --> 00:12:07,316 I'll be back when the wind 298 00:12:07,386 --> 00:12:10,118 and fates and chance bring me back. 299 00:12:10,189 --> 00:12:11,460 Which will be tomorrow. 300 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:13,662 It's cheese steak day. 301 00:12:16,265 --> 00:12:19,328 Wow. It sounds like you were all over this guy. 302 00:12:19,398 --> 00:12:21,400 Hope his girlfriend didn't get jealous. 303 00:12:21,470 --> 00:12:24,273 Did he mention a girlfriend or...? 304 00:12:25,134 --> 00:12:26,575 It was all going great 305 00:12:26,635 --> 00:12:29,107 until Marshall sent Ted a text meant for Lily 306 00:12:29,178 --> 00:12:30,339 and ruined everything. 307 00:12:30,409 --> 00:12:31,710 Well, it doesn't matter. 308 00:12:31,780 --> 00:12:33,111 Okay? It's over now. 309 00:12:33,182 --> 00:12:35,484 I got to get going, but here's what's going to happen: 310 00:12:35,544 --> 00:12:37,486 You're going to call him right now, 311 00:12:37,546 --> 00:12:39,318 tell him what you did, and apologize. 312 00:12:39,388 --> 00:12:41,250 - You got it? -Yes. 313 00:12:44,623 --> 00:12:46,495 Or... 314 00:12:46,555 --> 00:12:48,527 Holly explained everything. 315 00:12:48,597 --> 00:12:50,229 It was all just a misunderstanding. 316 00:12:50,299 --> 00:12:51,500 Everything's great now. 317 00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:52,801 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 318 00:12:52,861 --> 00:12:55,364 Uh, how did, uh, Holly explain her way out of that one? 319 00:12:55,434 --> 00:12:56,705 Well, apparently, 320 00:12:56,765 --> 00:12:59,037 her dumb friend Marsha accidentally used her phone 321 00:12:59,107 --> 00:13:00,269 to text her husband Billy. 322 00:13:00,339 --> 00:13:02,211 Marsha and Billy? 323 00:13:02,271 --> 00:13:03,942 No one sprained any muscles there. 324 00:13:04,012 --> 00:13:07,816 And now we are better than ever. 325 00:13:07,816 --> 00:13:09,418 Look, I know this sounds crazy, 326 00:13:09,418 --> 00:13:12,281 but I think I might actually be falling for this girl. 327 00:13:12,351 --> 00:13:15,083 You're falling for Barney and Marshall. 328 00:13:15,154 --> 00:13:16,325 What? 329 00:13:16,385 --> 00:13:17,656 They didn't believe 330 00:13:17,726 --> 00:13:19,458 that you could wait the three days, 331 00:13:19,528 --> 00:13:22,391 so Barney changed her number in your phone to his work cell. 332 00:13:22,461 --> 00:13:24,593 Holly is Barney and Marshall. 333 00:13:24,663 --> 00:13:27,266 Wait. That whole time it was them? 334 00:13:28,197 --> 00:13:30,139 So Holly wasn't in the bath? 335 00:13:32,971 --> 00:13:34,273 Or sitting by her window, 336 00:13:34,343 --> 00:13:36,905 looking up at the stars, thinking about me? 337 00:13:40,379 --> 00:13:42,611 Or lounging in her old cheerleader uniform 338 00:13:42,681 --> 00:13:44,913 reading architecture magazines? 339 00:13:48,317 --> 00:13:50,819 Yeah. I don't think they actually did those things. 340 00:13:50,889 --> 00:13:52,491 They were just at the bar. 341 00:13:52,561 --> 00:13:53,722 Right. 342 00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:55,524 But, yeah, it was them. 343 00:13:56,895 --> 00:13:58,897 - Unbelievable. -I know. 344 00:13:58,967 --> 00:14:01,230 So you might as well tell them you're on to them. 345 00:14:01,300 --> 00:14:02,501 Yeah. 346 00:14:02,571 --> 00:14:03,932 Or... 347 00:14:04,002 --> 00:14:07,806 I text them something that will really mess with their heads. 348 00:14:07,876 --> 00:14:09,538 Oh, I gotcha. 349 00:14:09,608 --> 00:14:11,880 Okay. How about... 350 00:14:11,940 --> 00:14:14,283 "I haven't told any of my friends yet, 351 00:14:14,343 --> 00:14:17,246 but I only have three months to live"? 352 00:14:17,316 --> 00:14:18,617 - Not bad. -Yeah. 353 00:14:18,687 --> 00:14:21,220 How about "I once killed a man with a shovel, 354 00:14:21,290 --> 00:14:23,152 and those feelings are creeping up again"? 355 00:14:24,623 --> 00:14:26,555 I-I liked that thing someone said before 356 00:14:26,625 --> 00:14:28,257 about having three months to live. 357 00:14:28,327 --> 00:14:30,659 How about "I never told anyone this, 358 00:14:30,729 --> 00:14:32,901 but I slept with my best friend's mom"? 359 00:14:32,961 --> 00:14:35,604 Oh, that is good, but I feel like we keep coming back 360 00:14:35,664 --> 00:14:37,166 to that three months to live thing. 361 00:14:37,236 --> 00:14:38,367 Wait. 362 00:14:38,437 --> 00:14:39,668 I think I got it. 363 00:14:39,738 --> 00:14:41,440 Oh, yeah? 364 00:14:43,242 --> 00:14:44,773 He texted back! 365 00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:47,816 "I probably shouldn't tell you this. 366 00:14:47,876 --> 00:14:51,520 "I mean we barely know each other. 367 00:14:51,580 --> 00:14:53,652 "But what the hell, I'll just say it." 368 00:14:53,722 --> 00:14:55,324 This is it, dude. Here comes the "I love you." 369 00:14:55,384 --> 00:14:57,456 I wish Stan were here. 370 00:14:57,526 --> 00:14:58,687 Stan. 371 00:15:02,461 --> 00:15:03,031 What? 372 00:15:04,333 --> 00:15:08,197 "I sometimes have gay dreams about my best friend." 373 00:15:12,771 --> 00:15:16,945 "I sometimes have gay dreams about my best friend." 374 00:15:16,945 --> 00:15:20,779 Why in the world would Ted text a girl he barely knows 375 00:15:20,849 --> 00:15:23,081 that he sometimes has gay dreams about me? 376 00:15:23,152 --> 00:15:24,953 Whoa. Whoa. Slow your roll. 377 00:15:25,013 --> 00:15:26,385 You? 378 00:15:26,455 --> 00:15:28,157 He's clearly talking about me. 379 00:15:28,217 --> 00:15:29,388 Dude, it's me. 380 00:15:29,458 --> 00:15:30,759 I'm his best friend. 381 00:15:30,819 --> 00:15:32,691 Okay, one: that has never been proven. 382 00:15:33,762 --> 00:15:35,294 If anyone were to have gay dreams 383 00:15:35,364 --> 00:15:37,166 about one of us, it would be me. 384 00:15:37,226 --> 00:15:38,467 I mean, look at me. 385 00:15:39,428 --> 00:15:40,199 Now look at you. 386 00:15:42,401 --> 00:15:44,373 80-year-old wouldn't be into that mess. 387 00:15:44,433 --> 00:15:46,405 Here's the thing, Barney. 388 00:15:46,475 --> 00:15:48,207 I'm snuggly. You're not. 389 00:15:48,277 --> 00:15:50,639 Who wouldn't want to snuggle up next 390 00:15:50,709 --> 00:15:52,481 To this business on a Sunday morning? 391 00:15:52,541 --> 00:15:54,583 Wrapped in a comforter, and it's raining outside, 392 00:15:54,643 --> 00:15:56,485 And there's muffins warming in the oven. 393 00:15:56,545 --> 00:15:57,886 I'm cuddly, bitch. 394 00:15:57,946 --> 00:15:58,887 Deal with it. 395 00:15:58,947 --> 00:16:01,550 I work out every day. 396 00:16:01,620 --> 00:16:03,822 If there is one thing we know about Ted, 397 00:16:03,892 --> 00:16:05,554 It's that he likes a nice body. 398 00:16:05,624 --> 00:16:07,055 This body would rock his world. 399 00:16:07,125 --> 00:16:08,557 Ted and I have a history. 400 00:16:08,627 --> 00:16:09,798 I know what he likes. 401 00:16:09,858 --> 00:16:11,760 There are things I could do to him 402 00:16:11,830 --> 00:16:13,832 That would blow his mind... 403 00:16:15,534 --> 00:16:18,066 Why do we keep trying to have sex with Ted? 404 00:16:18,137 --> 00:16:19,368 I don't know. It's weird. 405 00:16:20,569 --> 00:16:21,770 Crazy, right? 406 00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:24,543 Ted's having gay dreams about me. 407 00:16:24,613 --> 00:16:28,577 And by me, he means M-E, Marshall Eriksen, 408 00:16:28,647 --> 00:16:31,220 star of Ted's gay dreams. 409 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:32,481 Who cares? 410 00:16:32,551 --> 00:16:35,053 So Ted has gay dreams about one of you guys. 411 00:16:35,123 --> 00:16:38,187 It's not like you found out he has three months to live. 412 00:16:38,257 --> 00:16:41,890 That's like, oh, shocking, right? 413 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:43,732 Whoa. Hey, look at this guy. 414 00:16:43,792 --> 00:16:46,365 How's it going, uh, best friend of 12 years? 415 00:16:47,566 --> 00:16:49,538 Well, it's kind of weird, 416 00:16:49,598 --> 00:16:52,671 But, uh, I had this crazy dream the other night. 417 00:16:52,741 --> 00:16:54,173 It's a little embarrassing. 418 00:16:54,243 --> 00:16:55,574 You can tell us, Ted. 419 00:16:55,644 --> 00:16:57,075 This is a safe space. 420 00:16:57,146 --> 00:16:59,778 Yeah, your feelings are perfectly natural, buddy. 421 00:16:59,848 --> 00:17:00,879 Okay. 422 00:17:00,949 --> 00:17:02,251 Here's what happened. 423 00:17:02,311 --> 00:17:03,912 So I'm at... 424 00:17:03,982 --> 00:17:06,415 And then I proceeded to waste a half hour 425 00:17:06,485 --> 00:17:08,617 of those bastards' lives, telling them about this dream 426 00:17:08,687 --> 00:17:10,889 I had where I ate dinner with my top five 427 00:17:12,361 --> 00:17:13,392 And then, 428 00:17:13,462 --> 00:17:14,923 at the end of the meal, 429 00:17:14,993 --> 00:17:18,327 Frank Gehry slides the check over to I.M. Pei, and he says, 430 00:17:18,397 --> 00:17:22,271 "Buddy, tonight, your name is I.M. Paying." 431 00:17:23,302 --> 00:17:24,503 Buckminster Fuller 432 00:17:24,573 --> 00:17:26,705 almost did a spit take. 433 00:17:27,676 --> 00:17:29,338 And then I woke up. 434 00:17:30,309 --> 00:17:32,211 So, that-that's it? 435 00:17:32,281 --> 00:17:34,583 No other dreams? 436 00:17:34,643 --> 00:17:38,046 Nothing confusing or erotic? 437 00:17:38,116 --> 00:17:39,548 Nope. 438 00:17:40,519 --> 00:17:41,650 Okay, how about this? 439 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:44,022 Ted, you know how at some point in the future, 440 00:17:44,092 --> 00:17:45,454 Machines will rise up against us? 441 00:17:45,524 --> 00:17:46,795 - Sure. -Okay. 442 00:17:46,855 --> 00:17:48,727 So, the machines— they've killed everybody, 443 00:17:48,797 --> 00:17:50,899 And all that's left 444 00:17:50,959 --> 00:17:53,662 Is you, me, 445 00:17:53,732 --> 00:17:55,564 And Barney. 446 00:17:56,705 --> 00:17:59,208 Which one of us would you, like... 447 00:18:00,269 --> 00:18:02,511 get with? 448 00:18:04,743 --> 00:18:08,247 And, Why do I have to get with one of you? 449 00:18:08,317 --> 00:18:09,818 The machines are forcing you. 450 00:18:09,878 --> 00:18:11,049 They want to watch. 451 00:18:11,119 --> 00:18:12,781 That's just how they get down. 452 00:18:12,851 --> 00:18:14,923 Oh, that's a... that's a... 453 00:18:14,983 --> 00:18:16,285 That's a tough one. 454 00:18:16,355 --> 00:18:19,458 I guess it would have to be... 455 00:18:20,429 --> 00:18:22,491 Holly. 456 00:18:22,561 --> 00:18:24,593 Robin told me what you guys did. 457 00:18:24,663 --> 00:18:26,765 That's why I made up the gay dreams thing. 458 00:18:26,835 --> 00:18:28,897 Uh, guys, this is Holly. 459 00:18:28,967 --> 00:18:30,599 Hi. 460 00:18:30,669 --> 00:18:32,701 And I didn't wait your precious three days to call her. 461 00:18:32,771 --> 00:18:34,573 I knew where she worked, so I tracked her down. 462 00:18:34,643 --> 00:18:35,904 Um, let me ask you. 463 00:18:35,974 --> 00:18:37,506 Did I call you too soon? 464 00:18:37,576 --> 00:18:39,508 I loved that he called me right away. 465 00:18:39,578 --> 00:18:41,150 I found it very romantic. 466 00:18:41,910 --> 00:18:42,811 And by the way, 467 00:18:42,881 --> 00:18:44,313 I don't sit around my apartment 468 00:18:44,383 --> 00:18:46,485 reading architecture magazines in my old cheerleader uniform. 469 00:18:47,686 --> 00:18:50,259 I do that completely naked. 470 00:18:53,922 --> 00:18:56,465 So, uh, Holly and I are going out to dinner. 471 00:18:56,525 --> 00:18:58,167 - I'll meet you out front. - Okay. 472 00:19:00,569 --> 00:19:01,730 I'm sorry, buddy. 473 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:03,302 We-We were just trying to help you. 474 00:19:03,372 --> 00:19:06,705 And, also, it was really fun. 475 00:19:06,775 --> 00:19:09,278 I don't need your help, okay? 476 00:19:09,338 --> 00:19:11,280 I can take care of myself. 477 00:19:11,340 --> 00:19:13,842 And, yeah, maybe... maybe there are some girls 478 00:19:13,912 --> 00:19:16,445 who wouldn't like it that I called them right away 479 00:19:16,515 --> 00:19:18,887 or said things too soon, but guess what? 480 00:19:18,947 --> 00:19:20,919 Those aren't the right girls for me. 481 00:19:20,989 --> 00:19:22,221 Maybe the right girl 482 00:19:22,291 --> 00:19:24,953 is the one who loves that I do those things 483 00:19:25,023 --> 00:19:28,197 because that's just who I am, and I'm not going to change 484 00:19:28,257 --> 00:19:30,429 because of some stupid Three Days Rule. 485 00:19:32,361 --> 00:19:34,403 Oh, and, um, 486 00:19:34,463 --> 00:19:36,735 Holly spells her name with an "I." 487 00:19:37,866 --> 00:19:39,268 So I had proven that 488 00:19:39,338 --> 00:19:40,539 the Three Days Rule was wrong, 489 00:19:40,609 --> 00:19:42,371 and I was out to dinner with a pretty girl. 490 00:19:42,441 --> 00:19:45,474 And until right now, I've never told anyone 491 00:19:45,544 --> 00:19:47,075 the truth about what happened on that date. 492 00:19:47,146 --> 00:19:48,617 That's so funny! 493 00:19:48,677 --> 00:19:50,579 I love indie music, too. 494 00:19:50,649 --> 00:19:52,281 We should get married. 495 00:19:52,351 --> 00:19:53,752 Just kidding. 496 00:19:54,653 --> 00:19:56,185 Or am I? 497 00:19:56,255 --> 00:19:57,656 Just kidding again. 498 00:19:57,726 --> 00:20:00,189 That's it. We're totally going to Brazil together! 499 00:20:00,259 --> 00:20:01,830 And I went to my doctor this morning, 500 00:20:01,890 --> 00:20:04,493 And he said it is all cleared up, so I'm good to go. 501 00:20:04,563 --> 00:20:06,335 I think I'm in love with you, Ted. 502 00:20:06,395 --> 00:20:09,568 In the end, I didn't need to wait three days, 503 00:20:09,638 --> 00:20:11,900 but Holly really, really did. 504 00:20:11,970 --> 00:20:13,342 Like a lot of rules, 505 00:20:13,402 --> 00:20:15,944 there are times to follow them and times to not 506 00:20:16,004 --> 00:20:17,706 But I will tell you this. 507 00:20:17,776 --> 00:20:19,578 When I got your mother's number, 508 00:20:19,578 --> 00:20:22,381 I called her right away. 509 00:20:25,614 --> 00:20:26,715 Stan! 510 00:20:26,785 --> 00:20:28,086 Hey, fellas. 511 00:20:28,157 --> 00:20:30,219 - Stan, aren't you working? -Took the night off. 512 00:20:30,289 --> 00:20:31,660 That's great! We can all hang out! 513 00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:33,822 Yeah. Uh, I can't. Got a date. 514 00:20:33,892 --> 00:20:35,324 You ready, baby? 515 00:20:35,394 --> 00:20:36,365 Yup. 516 00:20:36,425 --> 00:20:37,526 What the...? 517 00:20:37,596 --> 00:20:38,997 Wait, wait. Couldn't you guys just 518 00:20:39,067 --> 00:20:41,500 Stay here and do your date with us? 519 00:20:41,570 --> 00:20:43,502 Yeah, it'll be fun! 520 00:20:43,572 --> 00:20:45,174 Look, I'm laughing! 521 00:20:45,234 --> 00:20:47,005 It's fun here! You like magic? 522 00:20:47,075 --> 00:20:50,209 Fellas, it-it's time we said good-bye. 523 00:20:50,279 --> 00:20:52,611 I mean, we shared a very special afternoon together, 524 00:20:52,681 --> 00:20:54,913 And that's something I will always cherish. 525 00:20:54,983 --> 00:20:56,785 I'll never forget you guys. 526 00:20:58,217 --> 00:20:59,117 Do you even know their names? 527 00:20:59,188 --> 00:21:00,589 No idea. Is the tall one Ted? 528 00:21:00,649 --> 00:21:03,222 No. That's Marshall. He's married to Lily. 529 00:21:03,292 --> 00:21:04,423 Okay. You like chicken wings? 530 00:21:04,493 --> 00:21:05,494 Oh, yeah. Let's do it.