1 00:00:07,833 --> 00:00:10,544 Kids, on my first day 2 00:00:07,833 --> 00:00:10,544 as a college professor, 3 00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:15,049 there were two things 4 00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:15,049 I didn't know that 5 00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:15,049 I wish I did. 6 00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:17,802 The first thing 7 00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:17,802 was that your mother 8 00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:17,802 was in that classroom. 9 00:00:22,056 --> 00:00:23,557 The second thing? 10 00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:24,976 Well, to explain that, 11 00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:24,976 we have to go back to 12 00:00:24,976 --> 00:00:27,145 the beginning 13 00:00:24,976 --> 00:00:27,145 of the summer, 14 00:00:27,145 --> 00:00:29,688 when, after a year 15 00:00:27,145 --> 00:00:29,688 of wrestling with their 16 00:00:27,145 --> 00:00:29,688 feelings for each other, 17 00:00:29,688 --> 00:00:32,066 Barney and Robin 18 00:00:29,688 --> 00:00:32,066 finally, well... 19 00:00:33,943 --> 00:00:35,653 Whoo! 20 00:00:35,653 --> 00:00:37,529 Lily, volume. 21 00:00:35,653 --> 00:00:37,529 Use your indoor "whoo." 22 00:00:37,529 --> 00:00:39,115 Sorry. Whoo. 23 00:00:39,115 --> 00:00:41,909 It's just they kissed! 24 00:00:39,115 --> 00:00:41,909 They're finally a couple. 25 00:00:41,909 --> 00:00:43,368 Oh, my God, you guys. 26 00:00:43,368 --> 00:00:46,205 This is our first 27 00:00:43,368 --> 00:00:46,205 double date! 28 00:00:46,205 --> 00:00:48,373 First of millions! 29 00:00:46,205 --> 00:00:48,373 What if our kids get married? 30 00:00:48,373 --> 00:00:49,458 Oh, I love this! 31 00:00:49,458 --> 00:00:51,210 Yeah. 32 00:00:51,210 --> 00:00:53,087 Lily, listen. 33 00:00:53,087 --> 00:00:55,047 Barney's awesome. 34 00:00:55,047 --> 00:00:59,010 Robin's more 35 00:00:55,047 --> 00:00:59,010 than just awe "some." 36 00:00:55,047 --> 00:00:59,010 She's awe "quite a bit." 37 00:00:59,010 --> 00:01:01,303 She's awe 38 00:00:59,010 --> 00:01:01,303 "a whole darn lot." 39 00:01:01,303 --> 00:01:04,223 Wait, what are you saying? 40 00:01:04,223 --> 00:01:05,683 We're just not 41 00:01:04,223 --> 00:01:05,683 feeling it right now, 42 00:01:05,683 --> 00:01:07,101 but we'll totally still 43 00:01:05,683 --> 00:01:07,101 be friends. 44 00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:08,519 Oh, yeah. 45 00:01:09,687 --> 00:01:11,563 Is it something I did? 46 00:01:11,563 --> 00:01:15,234 Oh, no. No, no, no. God, no. 47 00:01:11,563 --> 00:01:15,234 Lily, it's not you. It's us. 48 00:01:15,234 --> 00:01:18,403 Yeah. It's us. 49 00:01:15,234 --> 00:01:18,403 You understand, right? 50 00:01:18,403 --> 00:01:20,698 Sure, of course. 51 00:01:20,698 --> 00:01:23,325 As long as you're happy, 52 00:01:20,698 --> 00:01:23,325 I'm happy. 53 00:01:24,827 --> 00:01:28,330 We were gonna take 54 00:01:24,827 --> 00:01:28,330 cooking lessons together, 55 00:01:28,330 --> 00:01:31,042 and we were gonna go 56 00:01:28,330 --> 00:01:31,042 on camping trips together, 57 00:01:31,042 --> 00:01:34,212 and then we were gonna sit 58 00:01:31,042 --> 00:01:34,212 around telling funny stories 59 00:01:34,212 --> 00:01:36,922 about our cooking lessons 60 00:01:34,212 --> 00:01:36,922 and our camping trips. 61 00:01:36,922 --> 00:01:39,299 I know. I know. 62 00:01:42,344 --> 00:01:46,348 So, has the boat 63 00:01:42,344 --> 00:01:46,348 sailed on sex tonight or... 64 00:01:48,767 --> 00:01:51,478 After that, the summer 65 00:01:48,767 --> 00:01:51,478 went by way too fast. 66 00:01:51,478 --> 00:01:53,147 Until, all of a sudden, 67 00:01:51,478 --> 00:01:53,147 it was the Friday 68 00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:54,899 before my first day 69 00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:54,899 as a college professor. 70 00:01:54,899 --> 00:01:55,983 Whoa! 71 00:01:55,983 --> 00:01:57,776 Oh, boy. 72 00:01:55,983 --> 00:01:57,776 What's this? 73 00:01:57,776 --> 00:02:00,029 It's just a little something 74 00:01:57,776 --> 00:02:00,029 that we got for you 75 00:02:00,029 --> 00:02:04,616 that used to belong to my 76 00:02:00,029 --> 00:02:04,616 favorite professor of all time. 77 00:02:07,286 --> 00:02:10,289 A fedora. 78 00:02:07,286 --> 00:02:10,289 Mm. 79 00:02:13,751 --> 00:02:16,962 I'm Indiana Jones! 80 00:02:13,751 --> 00:02:16,962 I'm Indiana Jones! 81 00:02:16,962 --> 00:02:19,506 That, my friend, 82 00:02:16,962 --> 00:02:19,506 is the Dominator 8000, 83 00:02:19,506 --> 00:02:21,341 the best 84 00:02:19,506 --> 00:02:21,341 bullwhip on the market, 85 00:02:21,341 --> 00:02:22,718 according to my whip guy. 86 00:02:22,718 --> 00:02:24,511 Yeah, I have a whip guy. 87 00:02:25,804 --> 00:02:27,556 You know what we should do? 88 00:02:25,804 --> 00:02:27,556 We should... 89 00:02:27,556 --> 00:02:30,684 Finish our drinks, go out 90 00:02:27,556 --> 00:02:30,684 in the alley and whip stuff. 91 00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:33,312 God, you just get me. 92 00:02:34,521 --> 00:02:36,232 Okay, I should 93 00:02:34,521 --> 00:02:36,232 get going. I got a date. 94 00:02:36,232 --> 00:02:37,733 Oh, you're 95 00:02:36,232 --> 00:02:37,733 still seeing that guy? 96 00:02:37,733 --> 00:02:39,318 Even better, 97 00:02:37,733 --> 00:02:39,318 seeing him naked. What! 98 00:02:41,153 --> 00:02:43,822 I should go, too. 99 00:02:41,153 --> 00:02:43,822 I hooked up with this 100 00:02:41,153 --> 00:02:43,822 Chinese girl last night, 101 00:02:43,822 --> 00:02:45,116 and I don't know, 102 00:02:43,822 --> 00:02:45,116 it's weird. 103 00:02:45,116 --> 00:02:46,366 I already 104 00:02:45,116 --> 00:02:46,366 feel like seconds. 105 00:02:49,620 --> 00:02:51,830 Okay, Ted, 106 00:02:49,620 --> 00:02:51,830 you got first whip! 107 00:02:51,830 --> 00:02:53,707 All right. 108 00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:57,544 Hey, dummy. 109 00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:57,544 What did I tell you 110 00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:57,544 about smoking in here? 111 00:02:57,544 --> 00:02:59,171 Make him whip the habit! 112 00:02:59,171 --> 00:03:01,548 I'm so excited 113 00:02:59,171 --> 00:03:01,548 about this whip! 114 00:02:59,171 --> 00:03:01,548 I got whip fever! 115 00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:05,219 Just whip him, Ted! 116 00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:05,219 Don't even aim! 117 00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:05,219 Just whip him! 118 00:03:05,219 --> 00:03:06,637 I'm so sorry. 119 00:03:06,637 --> 00:03:08,180 It's just the whip's 120 00:03:06,637 --> 00:03:08,180 not a toy, Ted. 121 00:03:08,180 --> 00:03:10,141 There's such a thing as 122 00:03:08,180 --> 00:03:10,141 common sense, you know? 123 00:03:10,141 --> 00:03:11,725 Hey, you can whip me 124 00:03:10,141 --> 00:03:11,725 if you want. 125 00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:13,227 I will, some other time. 126 00:03:33,538 --> 00:03:36,458 So, how long has 127 00:03:33,538 --> 00:03:36,458 this been going on? 128 00:03:36,458 --> 00:03:39,044 All summer. 129 00:03:39,044 --> 00:03:41,546 I knew it! I knew it! 130 00:03:39,044 --> 00:03:41,546 I knew it! 131 00:03:41,546 --> 00:03:44,300 You guys are boyfriend 132 00:03:41,546 --> 00:03:44,300 and girlfriend. 133 00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:48,137 Hey. Wait. Girlfriend? 134 00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:48,137 Wow. 135 00:03:48,137 --> 00:03:49,721 Lily, slow your roll 136 00:03:48,137 --> 00:03:49,721 there, lily pad. Okay? 137 00:03:49,721 --> 00:03:51,349 Yeah. Yeah. 138 00:03:51,349 --> 00:03:53,684 You've been together 139 00:03:51,349 --> 00:03:53,684 all summer. I don't get it. 140 00:03:53,684 --> 00:03:55,227 Okay, it's like this. 141 00:03:55,227 --> 00:03:58,772 After we kissed, 142 00:03:55,227 --> 00:03:58,772 we sat down to have the talk. 143 00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:01,025 We should figure 144 00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:01,025 out what this is. 145 00:04:01,025 --> 00:04:02,318 Yes, we should. 146 00:04:02,318 --> 00:04:05,321 Yeah. 147 00:04:02,318 --> 00:04:05,321 Or... Or... 148 00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:09,908 Okay, now, 149 00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:09,908 we have to figure this out. 150 00:04:09,908 --> 00:04:11,910 Yes, we do. 151 00:04:11,910 --> 00:04:13,578 Or... Or... 152 00:04:18,667 --> 00:04:20,544 We kept trying 153 00:04:18,667 --> 00:04:20,544 to have the talk 154 00:04:20,544 --> 00:04:22,504 and then we realized 155 00:04:20,544 --> 00:04:22,504 we hate the talk. 156 00:04:22,504 --> 00:04:24,965 Yeah, the talk sucks. 157 00:04:22,504 --> 00:04:24,965 You have to, like, talk, 158 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,345 and be all, "I don't know. 159 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,345 It's not that I don't like you. 160 00:04:29,345 --> 00:04:31,305 "It's just that I haven't 161 00:04:29,345 --> 00:04:31,305 had a girlfriend in 162 00:04:29,345 --> 00:04:31,305 a really long time. 163 00:04:31,305 --> 00:04:33,557 "I hope it doesn't 164 00:04:31,305 --> 00:04:33,557 make you mad." 165 00:04:33,557 --> 00:04:35,142 Who needs it? 166 00:04:35,142 --> 00:04:36,518 You "needs" it. 167 00:04:36,518 --> 00:04:38,770 Guys, you can't 168 00:04:36,518 --> 00:04:38,770 just keep hooking up 169 00:04:38,770 --> 00:04:40,189 and not at least try 170 00:04:40,189 --> 00:04:41,815 and figure out 171 00:04:40,189 --> 00:04:41,815 what you mean to each other. 172 00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,275 Yeah, we knew 173 00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,275 you would say that. 174 00:04:43,275 --> 00:04:45,069 That's why 175 00:04:43,275 --> 00:04:45,069 we kept it a secret. 176 00:04:45,069 --> 00:04:46,404 Well, that and the fact 177 00:04:46,404 --> 00:04:48,488 that elaborate lies 178 00:04:46,404 --> 00:04:48,488 really turn us on. 179 00:04:48,488 --> 00:04:51,575 No, no, no. No. 180 00:04:51,575 --> 00:04:53,202 You need to define 181 00:04:51,575 --> 00:04:53,202 the relationship. 182 00:04:53,202 --> 00:04:54,494 You need to have the talk. 183 00:04:54,494 --> 00:04:56,830 Or... Or... 184 00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:02,794 I know what 185 00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:02,794 you're all thinking. 186 00:05:02,794 --> 00:05:07,007 "Who's this cool peer of mine 187 00:05:02,794 --> 00:05:07,007 up in front of the class?" 188 00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:11,011 Well, I know the board says 189 00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:11,011 "Professor Mosby," but to you, 190 00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:12,637 I'm Ted. 191 00:05:14,681 --> 00:05:17,184 Question. Awesome. Hit it. 192 00:05:17,184 --> 00:05:19,561 Yeah, here's my question, Ted, 193 00:05:19,561 --> 00:05:22,064 who the hell do 194 00:05:19,561 --> 00:05:22,064 you think you are? 195 00:05:22,064 --> 00:05:24,024 Yeah, "Ted." 196 00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:25,650 We're supposed 197 00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:25,650 to learn from you? 198 00:05:25,650 --> 00:05:27,236 You failed as an architect. 199 00:05:27,236 --> 00:05:28,737 Well... 200 00:05:27,236 --> 00:05:28,737 And if you're a professor, 201 00:05:28,737 --> 00:05:30,530 where's your hat 202 00:05:28,737 --> 00:05:30,530 and your whip? 203 00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:32,074 They're at home. I... 204 00:05:32,074 --> 00:05:33,575 And where are your pants? 205 00:05:38,497 --> 00:05:39,873 Oh, God. 206 00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:42,126 Barney, it was awful. 207 00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:42,126 I was teaching... 208 00:05:42,126 --> 00:05:43,794 Shh! Ted, now's 209 00:05:42,126 --> 00:05:43,794 not a good time. 210 00:05:43,794 --> 00:05:45,087 Where do you 211 00:05:43,794 --> 00:05:45,087 keep your condoms? 212 00:05:46,838 --> 00:05:49,216 I am freaking out. 213 00:05:46,838 --> 00:05:49,216 I don't think I can do this. 214 00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:51,009 Okay, look, 215 00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:51,009 mistake number one 216 00:05:51,009 --> 00:05:53,053 was taking 217 00:05:51,009 --> 00:05:53,053 that girl's question. 218 00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:55,389 You don't take 219 00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:55,389 questions on the first day. 220 00:05:55,389 --> 00:05:56,932 It shows weakness. 221 00:05:56,932 --> 00:06:00,102 Mistake number two was 222 00:05:56,932 --> 00:06:00,102 you should've hit that. 223 00:06:00,102 --> 00:06:01,645 Dude, your pants 224 00:06:00,102 --> 00:06:01,645 were already off, 225 00:06:01,645 --> 00:06:03,563 you had a classroom full 226 00:06:01,645 --> 00:06:03,563 of people to cheer you on 227 00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:06,066 and you can't knock her up 228 00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:06,066 'cause it's a dream. 229 00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:07,526 Class dismissed. 230 00:06:07,526 --> 00:06:09,945 Mistake number three, 231 00:06:07,526 --> 00:06:09,945 dude, where was the hat? 232 00:06:09,945 --> 00:06:12,823 Because if you're 233 00:06:09,945 --> 00:06:12,823 not going to wear it, 234 00:06:09,945 --> 00:06:12,823 I'm taking it back. 235 00:06:12,823 --> 00:06:15,909 I think what 236 00:06:12,823 --> 00:06:15,909 Barney's saying is that 237 00:06:12,823 --> 00:06:15,909 definitions are important. 238 00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:17,661 You're their teacher, 239 00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:17,661 not their friend. 240 00:06:17,661 --> 00:06:18,870 Exactly. 241 00:06:18,870 --> 00:06:20,539 If people don't know 242 00:06:18,870 --> 00:06:20,539 their place, 243 00:06:20,539 --> 00:06:21,665 nobody's happy. 244 00:06:21,665 --> 00:06:22,916 Amen. 245 00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:24,751 You have to 246 00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:24,751 make things clear. 247 00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:26,044 Run, tell that! 248 00:06:26,044 --> 00:06:28,005 Define the relationship. 249 00:06:28,005 --> 00:06:29,798 Yes! No! 250 00:06:29,798 --> 00:06:31,383 Lily, private convo time. 251 00:06:35,179 --> 00:06:37,097 Lily, can't you 252 00:06:35,179 --> 00:06:37,097 just let us be happy? 253 00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:38,723 You're not happy. 254 00:06:38,723 --> 00:06:40,976 You just think you're happy 255 00:06:38,723 --> 00:06:40,976 because you feel happy. 256 00:06:40,976 --> 00:06:42,894 And that's not happy? 257 00:06:42,894 --> 00:06:44,104 Of course not. 258 00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:46,148 You and Robin 259 00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:46,148 need to have the talk. 260 00:06:46,148 --> 00:06:48,567 Why? Give me one good reason. 261 00:06:46,148 --> 00:06:48,567 I'll give you 20. 262 00:06:48,567 --> 00:06:50,486 Wow, you can't 263 00:06:48,567 --> 00:06:50,486 even think of one. 264 00:06:50,486 --> 00:06:52,530 Headlights. Deer. 265 00:06:52,530 --> 00:06:54,281 Lily, for the last time, 266 00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:57,535 things with me and Robin are as 267 00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:57,535 good as they can possibly be. 268 00:06:57,535 --> 00:07:00,245 Hey, look, Brad's here. 269 00:07:00,245 --> 00:07:03,040 I've got two tickets to the 270 00:07:00,245 --> 00:07:03,040 Rangers-Canucks game 271 00:07:00,245 --> 00:07:03,040 tomorrow night. 272 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:05,667 I know you're a hockey fan, 273 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:05,667 so I was thinking... 274 00:07:08,628 --> 00:07:11,256 What do I have to do? 275 00:07:08,628 --> 00:07:11,256 Put a gun to your head? 276 00:07:13,008 --> 00:07:15,677 Buy you a six-pack? 277 00:07:13,008 --> 00:07:15,677 Come on, Brad, that's... 278 00:07:15,677 --> 00:07:17,888 Wow, there's 279 00:07:15,677 --> 00:07:17,888 really six of them. 280 00:07:19,306 --> 00:07:20,640 Uh, but I can't. 281 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,351 Why not? 282 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,351 You have a boyfriend? 283 00:07:23,561 --> 00:07:25,312 No. No, no boyfriend. 284 00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:27,231 Great! It's a date. 285 00:07:27,231 --> 00:07:29,316 Hey, Barn. 286 00:07:27,231 --> 00:07:29,316 Hey... 287 00:07:31,776 --> 00:07:33,778 I just thought of a reason. 288 00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:42,746 The next night, Robin and Brad 289 00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:42,746 went to a hockey game. 290 00:07:42,746 --> 00:07:45,583 You're probably wondering 291 00:07:42,746 --> 00:07:45,583 why I've been quiet all night. 292 00:07:45,583 --> 00:07:47,209 Um... 293 00:07:47,209 --> 00:07:50,087 Damn it, Hordichuk! 294 00:07:47,209 --> 00:07:50,087 You miss another 295 00:07:47,209 --> 00:07:50,087 gimme like that, 296 00:07:50,087 --> 00:07:52,381 I'm gonna come down there 297 00:07:50,087 --> 00:07:52,381 and put a slapper right 298 00:07:50,087 --> 00:07:52,381 up your beerhole! 299 00:07:52,381 --> 00:07:54,174 Come on! 300 00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:56,552 Not really. 301 00:07:56,552 --> 00:07:59,721 The truth is, I feel kind 302 00:07:56,552 --> 00:07:59,721 of weird being out with you. 303 00:07:59,721 --> 00:08:01,348 Oh, man. 304 00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:03,225 Is this the talk? 305 00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:03,225 What? 306 00:08:03,225 --> 00:08:06,019 No, this is good. 307 00:08:03,225 --> 00:08:06,019 Let's get it all 308 00:08:03,225 --> 00:08:06,019 out of the way. 309 00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:08,480 Robin, I'm looking 310 00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:08,480 for something serious. 311 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:10,148 No, Brad, no, it's... 312 00:08:10,148 --> 00:08:11,691 But before we go any further, 313 00:08:10,148 --> 00:08:11,691 you should know 314 00:08:11,691 --> 00:08:14,027 something about my stuff 315 00:08:11,691 --> 00:08:14,027 below the belt. 316 00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:16,280 I was born 317 00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:16,280 a little different. 318 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:18,990 God, no. Brad, no. 319 00:08:18,990 --> 00:08:22,369 This is about me and Barney. 320 00:08:18,990 --> 00:08:22,369 You and... 321 00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:24,204 Oh! So, you guys are... 322 00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:26,123 Well, we don't know 323 00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:26,123 what we are. 324 00:08:26,123 --> 00:08:28,041 I mean, my heart says, 325 00:08:26,123 --> 00:08:28,041 "Leap into it." 326 00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:30,085 My brain says, 327 00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:30,085 "It's a bad idea." 328 00:08:30,085 --> 00:08:32,170 Sounds like you guys 329 00:08:30,085 --> 00:08:32,170 need to have the talk. 330 00:08:32,170 --> 00:08:33,880 We're not gonna have the talk! 331 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:36,258 Would you just 332 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:36,258 have the talk, okay? 333 00:08:36,258 --> 00:08:39,595 It's a five-minute 334 00:08:36,258 --> 00:08:39,595 conversation, and then you 335 00:08:36,258 --> 00:08:39,595 get to have sex afterwards. 336 00:08:39,595 --> 00:08:42,347 It's great! 337 00:08:39,595 --> 00:08:42,347 Back me up, Ted. 338 00:08:42,347 --> 00:08:43,599 I don't think 339 00:08:42,347 --> 00:08:43,599 the talk is necessary. 340 00:08:43,599 --> 00:08:44,808 What? 341 00:08:44,808 --> 00:08:46,351 Thank you, Ted. 342 00:08:46,351 --> 00:08:48,353 Because Robin is 343 00:08:46,351 --> 00:08:48,353 already his girlfriend. 344 00:08:48,353 --> 00:08:49,729 What? 345 00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:53,066 MacLaren's Bar, 346 00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:53,066 four years ago. 347 00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:55,110 How do you keep a girl 348 00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:55,110 from becoming your girlfriend? 349 00:08:55,110 --> 00:08:58,822 Simple, the rules for girls 350 00:08:55,110 --> 00:08:58,822 are the same as the rules 351 00:08:55,110 --> 00:08:58,822 for Gremlins. 352 00:08:58,822 --> 00:09:00,699 Gremlins? 353 00:08:58,822 --> 00:09:00,699 Gremlins. 354 00:09:00,699 --> 00:09:03,577 Rule number one, 355 00:09:00,699 --> 00:09:03,577 never get them wet. 356 00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:06,121 In other words, 357 00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:06,121 don't let her take 358 00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:06,121 a shower at your place. 359 00:09:06,121 --> 00:09:08,165 Number two, keep 360 00:09:06,121 --> 00:09:08,165 them away from sunlight, 361 00:09:08,165 --> 00:09:11,418 I.e. Don't ever see 362 00:09:08,165 --> 00:09:11,418 them during the day. 363 00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:14,045 And rule number three, 364 00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:14,045 never feed them after midnight, 365 00:09:14,045 --> 00:09:17,633 meaning she doesn't sleep over 366 00:09:14,045 --> 00:09:17,633 and you don't have breakfast 367 00:09:14,045 --> 00:09:17,633 with her. 368 00:09:17,633 --> 00:09:19,009 Ever. 369 00:09:19,009 --> 00:09:21,011 What about brunch? 370 00:09:19,009 --> 00:09:21,011 Is brunch cool? 371 00:09:22,929 --> 00:09:24,973 No, Ted, brunch is not cool. 372 00:09:26,558 --> 00:09:29,394 Okay, new topic. 373 00:09:26,558 --> 00:09:29,394 How do I pick a tie? 374 00:09:29,394 --> 00:09:32,481 Simple. Remember in 375 00:09:29,394 --> 00:09:32,481 the movie, Predator... 376 00:09:32,481 --> 00:09:35,859 I've done all three of 377 00:09:32,481 --> 00:09:35,859 those things with Robin. 378 00:09:35,859 --> 00:09:37,444 Is she my girlfriend? 379 00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:42,199 Just once, I wish you guys 380 00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:42,199 would call me on Tuxedo Night. 381 00:09:43,825 --> 00:09:45,619 Ladies and gentlemen, 382 00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:49,080 time to pucker up for the 383 00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:49,080 New York Rangers Kiss Cam! 384 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:51,458 Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! 385 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:51,458 Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! 386 00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:52,917 Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! 387 00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:52,917 Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! 388 00:09:52,917 --> 00:09:54,545 Okay, how about this? 389 00:09:54,545 --> 00:09:56,004 If you kiss me and 390 00:09:54,545 --> 00:09:56,004 you feel bad about it, 391 00:09:56,004 --> 00:09:57,589 you're meant to be 392 00:09:56,004 --> 00:09:57,589 with Barney. 393 00:09:57,589 --> 00:09:59,591 Why not? Lay it on me. 394 00:10:06,598 --> 00:10:08,016 Hey, Brad. 395 00:10:09,434 --> 00:10:11,353 Brad, we can't fight 396 00:10:09,434 --> 00:10:11,353 like this all night! 397 00:10:11,353 --> 00:10:14,773 We both got 398 00:10:11,353 --> 00:10:14,773 some good shots in. 399 00:10:11,353 --> 00:10:14,773 Let's call a truce! 400 00:10:14,773 --> 00:10:16,483 It's okay, dude. 401 00:10:16,483 --> 00:10:18,485 I shouldn't go kissing 402 00:10:16,483 --> 00:10:18,485 some other guy's girlfriend. 403 00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:21,572 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 404 00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:21,572 Girlfriend? Hey, come on. 405 00:10:21,572 --> 00:10:23,490 That's putting it 406 00:10:21,572 --> 00:10:23,490 a bit strongly. Okay. 407 00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:25,200 A bit strongly. 408 00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:25,200 She's not my girlfriend. 409 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:28,620 Yeah. A girlfriend's 410 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:28,620 a bit much, Brad, okay? We... 411 00:10:28,620 --> 00:10:33,124 Okay, seriously. 412 00:10:28,620 --> 00:10:33,124 We're at the point 413 00:10:28,620 --> 00:10:33,124 of physical violence. 414 00:10:33,124 --> 00:10:35,210 Now, will you 415 00:10:33,124 --> 00:10:35,210 please have the talk? 416 00:10:35,210 --> 00:10:38,463 Because of that? Come on. 417 00:10:35,210 --> 00:10:38,463 That's my thing. 418 00:10:38,463 --> 00:10:40,965 I'm always 419 00:10:38,463 --> 00:10:40,965 punching guys, girls. 420 00:10:40,965 --> 00:10:43,176 I'll punch a baby. 421 00:10:40,965 --> 00:10:43,176 I don't care. 422 00:10:45,011 --> 00:10:47,431 Finally, my first 423 00:10:45,011 --> 00:10:47,431 class had arrived. 424 00:10:47,431 --> 00:10:48,973 For real this time. 425 00:10:48,973 --> 00:10:50,809 I knew I had to make 426 00:10:48,973 --> 00:10:50,809 a strong impression. 427 00:10:50,809 --> 00:10:53,478 I had thought of 428 00:10:50,809 --> 00:10:53,478 everything. Except... 429 00:10:53,478 --> 00:10:56,147 Wait. Does professor 430 00:10:53,478 --> 00:10:56,147 have one "F" or two? 431 00:10:56,147 --> 00:10:58,191 Oh, my God. 432 00:10:56,147 --> 00:10:58,191 Oh, my God! 433 00:10:58,191 --> 00:11:02,362 Professor. Professor. 434 00:10:58,191 --> 00:11:02,362 They're all staring at me. 435 00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:05,532 Professor. I don't know. 436 00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:05,532 Just do something! 437 00:11:07,451 --> 00:11:09,369 Two "Fs". 438 00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:11,538 That looks right. 439 00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:11,538 I think that's right. 440 00:11:27,512 --> 00:11:29,264 Hey, sorry I went 441 00:11:27,512 --> 00:11:29,264 a little too far last night. 442 00:11:29,264 --> 00:11:30,849 Look, we've been over this. 443 00:11:30,849 --> 00:11:32,810 Unless I say "flugelhorn," 444 00:11:30,849 --> 00:11:32,810 you haven't gone too far. 445 00:11:33,893 --> 00:11:36,438 No, I meant punching Brad. 446 00:11:36,438 --> 00:11:39,608 Right. Look, don't even 447 00:11:36,438 --> 00:11:39,608 worry about it. It's... Oh! 448 00:11:39,608 --> 00:11:42,319 God. The doorknob's 449 00:11:39,608 --> 00:11:42,319 broken off. 450 00:11:42,319 --> 00:11:44,279 We're locked in here. 451 00:11:42,319 --> 00:11:44,279 Did you do this? 452 00:11:44,279 --> 00:11:45,697 No. 453 00:11:45,697 --> 00:11:47,741 Flugelhorn. Did you do this? 454 00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:48,867 No. 455 00:11:50,118 --> 00:11:51,745 Ted. 456 00:11:51,745 --> 00:11:53,163 Ted, are you out there? 457 00:11:53,163 --> 00:11:55,290 Ted's not here, Robin. 458 00:11:55,290 --> 00:11:56,834 Lily, let us out of here. 459 00:11:56,834 --> 00:11:58,460 I'd be glad to. 460 00:11:58,460 --> 00:12:01,379 Just as soon as you 461 00:11:58,460 --> 00:12:01,379 and Barney have the talk. 462 00:12:06,885 --> 00:12:09,053 Lily! Come on. Let us out! 463 00:12:09,053 --> 00:12:12,349 No. Sit down, 464 00:12:09,053 --> 00:12:12,349 define the relationship, 465 00:12:12,349 --> 00:12:15,226 write down that definition 466 00:12:12,349 --> 00:12:15,226 on a piece of paper, 467 00:12:15,226 --> 00:12:18,897 slip it under the door and if 468 00:12:15,226 --> 00:12:18,897 I like what I read, you can go. 469 00:12:18,897 --> 00:12:20,482 We are not having the talk! 470 00:12:20,482 --> 00:12:22,526 Then you'll die in there. 471 00:12:22,526 --> 00:12:24,277 You're gonna 472 00:12:22,526 --> 00:12:24,277 lock us in here? 473 00:12:22,526 --> 00:12:24,277 Well, guess what? 474 00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:27,280 Maybe we'll spend the 475 00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:27,280 whole day having sex! 476 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,990 Well, guess what? 477 00:12:28,990 --> 00:12:31,993 I brought Marshall with me, 478 00:12:28,990 --> 00:12:31,993 so maybe we'll do the same. 479 00:12:31,993 --> 00:12:33,578 Hey, guys. 480 00:12:35,664 --> 00:12:38,583 I still hadn't decided 481 00:12:35,664 --> 00:12:38,583 what kind of professor to be. 482 00:12:38,583 --> 00:12:41,503 Authoritative or cool guy. 483 00:12:41,503 --> 00:12:43,254 I thought I would 484 00:12:41,503 --> 00:12:43,254 decide in the moment. 485 00:12:43,254 --> 00:12:45,465 And I did, about 20 times. 486 00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:47,342 Good morning. 487 00:12:47,342 --> 00:12:49,969 S'up, dudes? Silence! 488 00:12:52,597 --> 00:12:57,227 This is Architecture 101. 489 00:12:52,597 --> 00:12:57,227 I am Professor Mosby, 490 00:12:57,227 --> 00:12:58,854 but you can call me Ted. 491 00:12:59,813 --> 00:13:01,565 Professor Mosby. 492 00:13:02,691 --> 00:13:04,442 T-Dawg. 493 00:13:04,442 --> 00:13:06,444 Do not call me T-Dawg. 494 00:13:10,156 --> 00:13:13,451 Never take questions on the 495 00:13:10,156 --> 00:13:13,451 first day. It shows weakness. 496 00:13:13,451 --> 00:13:17,121 Also, don't look right here. 497 00:13:19,207 --> 00:13:21,209 Okay, good luck. Byesies. 498 00:13:22,669 --> 00:13:25,839 This was it, 499 00:13:22,669 --> 00:13:25,839 my crossroads moment. 500 00:13:25,839 --> 00:13:27,883 What kind of professor 501 00:13:25,839 --> 00:13:27,883 was I gonna be? 502 00:13:27,883 --> 00:13:30,218 I had to decide. 503 00:13:30,218 --> 00:13:32,512 Please save all your questions 504 00:13:30,218 --> 00:13:32,512 until the end of the lecture. 505 00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:34,138 Thank you! 506 00:13:34,138 --> 00:13:35,557 Now... 507 00:13:35,557 --> 00:13:37,559 Professor Mosby had arrived. 508 00:13:37,559 --> 00:13:39,728 Of course, if I had taken 509 00:13:37,559 --> 00:13:39,728 that girl's question, 510 00:13:39,728 --> 00:13:41,479 who, by the way, 511 00:13:39,728 --> 00:13:41,479 was not your mom. 512 00:13:41,479 --> 00:13:43,398 Your mom was sitting... 513 00:13:43,398 --> 00:13:45,442 Wait, let me finish this 514 00:13:43,398 --> 00:13:45,442 real quick. 515 00:13:45,442 --> 00:13:47,694 Here's what that 516 00:13:45,442 --> 00:13:47,694 girl would have said. 517 00:13:47,694 --> 00:13:49,905 I'm sorry to bother you, 518 00:13:47,694 --> 00:13:49,905 Professor Mosby, 519 00:13:49,905 --> 00:13:52,657 but this isn't 520 00:13:49,905 --> 00:13:52,657 Architecture 101. 521 00:13:52,657 --> 00:13:56,494 This is Economics 305. 522 00:13:52,657 --> 00:13:56,494 You're in the wrong classroom. 523 00:13:56,494 --> 00:13:59,163 Yes, I was in 524 00:13:56,494 --> 00:13:59,163 the wrong classroom. 525 00:13:59,163 --> 00:14:00,874 And thus began 526 00:13:59,163 --> 00:14:00,874 the most humiliating 527 00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:02,333 seven minutes of my life. 528 00:14:02,333 --> 00:14:04,795 Here's your 529 00:14:02,333 --> 00:14:04,795 think-about-it for the day. 530 00:14:04,795 --> 00:14:09,048 Every single person in this room 531 00:14:04,795 --> 00:14:09,048 is already an architect. 532 00:14:09,048 --> 00:14:10,258 Architect? 533 00:14:17,098 --> 00:14:19,017 "We're just hanging out." 534 00:14:19,017 --> 00:14:21,227 Just hanging out? 535 00:14:21,227 --> 00:14:23,187 Not good enough. 536 00:14:23,187 --> 00:14:24,522 Not good enough! 537 00:14:26,775 --> 00:14:28,819 Can anyone here tell me 538 00:14:28,819 --> 00:14:32,071 what this class is 539 00:14:28,819 --> 00:14:32,071 really all about? 540 00:14:32,071 --> 00:14:33,573 Economics? 541 00:14:35,450 --> 00:14:36,868 Now, now. Don't laugh. 542 00:14:36,868 --> 00:14:39,663 He's not... 543 00:14:36,868 --> 00:14:39,663 He's not entirely wrong. 544 00:14:39,663 --> 00:14:45,376 An architect 545 00:14:39,663 --> 00:14:45,376 must be economical 546 00:14:39,663 --> 00:14:45,376 in his use of space, so... 547 00:14:45,376 --> 00:14:47,378 Well done. 548 00:14:47,378 --> 00:14:52,509 Looks like someone's building 549 00:14:47,378 --> 00:14:52,509 towards an A. Huh? 550 00:14:54,511 --> 00:14:55,804 "We're seeing 551 00:14:54,511 --> 00:14:55,804 where things are going." 552 00:14:57,848 --> 00:15:00,517 I'll tell you where 553 00:14:57,848 --> 00:15:00,517 things aren't going. 554 00:15:00,517 --> 00:15:02,101 Out of that bedroom. 555 00:15:02,101 --> 00:15:03,436 Not good enough. 556 00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:04,771 Not good enough! 557 00:15:06,815 --> 00:15:08,525 You. 558 00:15:08,525 --> 00:15:10,109 Why do you want 559 00:15:08,525 --> 00:15:10,109 to be an architect? 560 00:15:10,109 --> 00:15:12,529 I don't want 561 00:15:10,109 --> 00:15:12,529 to be an architect. 562 00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:15,615 Yes. Yes, exactly. 563 00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:17,450 It's not something 564 00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:17,450 you want to be. 565 00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:19,911 It's something 566 00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:19,911 you need to be. 567 00:15:19,911 --> 00:15:23,748 You don't have a choice, right? 568 00:15:19,911 --> 00:15:23,748 None of you has a choice. 569 00:15:23,748 --> 00:15:25,042 No questions! 570 00:15:27,335 --> 00:15:31,255 "We're Barnman and Robin." 571 00:15:31,255 --> 00:15:34,258 Come on, you got to admit, 572 00:15:31,255 --> 00:15:34,258 that's kind of funny, Lily. 573 00:15:34,258 --> 00:15:36,970 Not good enough. 574 00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:38,221 Not good enough! 575 00:15:39,180 --> 00:15:41,641 So if any of you 576 00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:44,519 have even 577 00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:44,519 the slightest inclination 578 00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:44,519 to do anything with your life 579 00:15:44,519 --> 00:15:46,396 other than 580 00:15:44,519 --> 00:15:46,396 become an architect, 581 00:15:46,396 --> 00:15:49,399 you're wasting 582 00:15:46,396 --> 00:15:49,399 my time and yours. 583 00:15:49,399 --> 00:15:53,319 There's the door. You can go. 584 00:15:53,319 --> 00:15:55,739 I'm serious. Get out, now. 585 00:15:59,117 --> 00:16:02,996 Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa. 586 00:15:59,117 --> 00:16:02,996 Wait! Wait, wait, wait! 587 00:15:59,117 --> 00:16:02,996 Don't all leave! 588 00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:05,206 Architecture's fun! Look! 589 00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:05,206 I brought a Hacky Sack! 590 00:16:05,206 --> 00:16:07,042 Sorry I'm late, everyone. 591 00:16:07,042 --> 00:16:10,087 My name is 592 00:16:07,042 --> 00:16:10,087 Professor Calzonetti. 593 00:16:07,042 --> 00:16:10,087 This is Economics 305. 594 00:16:10,087 --> 00:16:11,713 You may return to your seats. 595 00:16:13,006 --> 00:16:16,467 Sorry, sir. 596 00:16:13,006 --> 00:16:16,467 This is Architecture 101. 597 00:16:16,467 --> 00:16:18,970 Who invited their dad, right? 598 00:16:18,970 --> 00:16:21,431 Young man, 599 00:16:18,970 --> 00:16:21,431 for the last 28 years, 600 00:16:21,431 --> 00:16:24,059 Economics 305 has 601 00:16:21,431 --> 00:16:24,059 been taught right here 602 00:16:24,059 --> 00:16:26,352 in Building 14, Room 7. 603 00:16:26,352 --> 00:16:30,189 Yeah, buddy, I'm sure 604 00:16:26,352 --> 00:16:30,189 200 architecture students 605 00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:32,442 and their professor 606 00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:32,442 all got the room wrong. 607 00:16:32,442 --> 00:16:34,945 T-Dawg, you're in 608 00:16:32,442 --> 00:16:34,945 the wrong room, bro. 609 00:16:39,198 --> 00:16:41,242 College kids, out of my way! 610 00:16:41,242 --> 00:16:43,202 Sorry. Coming through. 611 00:16:48,166 --> 00:16:49,918 Excuse me. 612 00:16:48,166 --> 00:16:49,918 Coming through. 613 00:16:54,672 --> 00:16:58,176 Twenty minutes late 614 00:16:54,672 --> 00:16:58,176 on your first day? 615 00:16:54,672 --> 00:16:58,176 That's rough. 616 00:16:58,176 --> 00:17:00,386 Yeah, but 617 00:16:58,176 --> 00:17:00,386 here's the funny thing. 618 00:17:00,386 --> 00:17:02,221 By that point, I didn't 619 00:17:00,386 --> 00:17:02,221 have time to think about 620 00:17:02,221 --> 00:17:03,890 what kind of teacher 621 00:17:02,221 --> 00:17:03,890 I was going to be. 622 00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:07,602 I just got up there and 623 00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:07,602 talked about architecture. 624 00:17:07,602 --> 00:17:09,187 And it was kind of great. 625 00:17:09,187 --> 00:17:10,730 That's awesome, Ted. 626 00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:12,107 Congratulations, buddy. 627 00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:12,107 Thanks. 628 00:17:12,107 --> 00:17:13,608 Nice job, Ted. 629 00:17:13,608 --> 00:17:14,943 Hey, Ted, Door 5! 630 00:17:16,527 --> 00:17:18,613 Were you there? 631 00:17:16,527 --> 00:17:18,613 I got you, buddy. 632 00:17:18,613 --> 00:17:20,698 They still haven't 633 00:17:18,613 --> 00:17:20,698 had the talk, huh? 634 00:17:20,698 --> 00:17:23,451 I think I know how 635 00:17:20,698 --> 00:17:23,451 to speed things up. 636 00:17:28,414 --> 00:17:30,374 Oh! Not cool! 637 00:17:32,335 --> 00:17:38,257 Pancakes, fresh bacon. 638 00:17:32,335 --> 00:17:38,257 It is so yummy. 639 00:17:38,257 --> 00:17:40,384 Dude, I'm starving. Let's... 640 00:17:40,384 --> 00:17:42,679 Let's just have 641 00:17:40,384 --> 00:17:42,679 the stupid talk. 642 00:17:42,679 --> 00:17:45,640 Come on. 643 00:17:42,679 --> 00:17:45,640 Fine. 644 00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:48,143 But how do these 645 00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:48,143 things even work? 646 00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:48,143 What do we say? 647 00:17:53,898 --> 00:17:56,234 "Where do you see 648 00:17:53,898 --> 00:17:56,234 this relationship going?" 649 00:17:56,234 --> 00:17:57,861 Oh, my God, 650 00:17:56,234 --> 00:17:57,861 that sounds so cheesy. 651 00:17:57,861 --> 00:17:59,154 I know, right? 652 00:17:59,154 --> 00:18:00,738 Totally. 653 00:18:00,738 --> 00:18:02,365 But... 654 00:18:02,365 --> 00:18:04,659 Where do you see 655 00:18:02,365 --> 00:18:04,659 this relationship going? 656 00:18:06,203 --> 00:18:08,329 I don't know. 657 00:18:08,329 --> 00:18:10,207 I mean, it's not like 658 00:18:08,329 --> 00:18:10,207 I don't like you. 659 00:18:10,207 --> 00:18:13,751 I just haven't had 660 00:18:10,207 --> 00:18:13,751 a girlfriend for a long time. 661 00:18:13,751 --> 00:18:15,045 I hope that doesn't 662 00:18:13,751 --> 00:18:15,045 make you mad. 663 00:18:15,045 --> 00:18:16,504 Mad? 664 00:18:16,504 --> 00:18:19,549 I feel the same way. 665 00:18:16,504 --> 00:18:19,549 I suck at relationships. 666 00:18:19,549 --> 00:18:23,720 I mean, except with Ted. 667 00:18:19,549 --> 00:18:23,720 Man. He really got it right. 668 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:28,141 I know it's a cliche, 669 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:28,141 but he really ruined 670 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:28,141 me for other men. 671 00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:30,476 Of course, I wasn't in 672 00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:30,476 the room for this conversation, 673 00:18:30,476 --> 00:18:33,688 but I have to imagine 674 00:18:30,476 --> 00:18:33,688 Robin said something like that. 675 00:18:33,688 --> 00:18:36,440 Maybe we should go back 676 00:18:33,688 --> 00:18:36,440 to being just friends. 677 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:37,817 Maybe. 678 00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:40,237 But... 679 00:18:40,237 --> 00:18:42,113 I don't want to 680 00:18:40,237 --> 00:18:42,113 stop having sex. 681 00:18:42,113 --> 00:18:43,656 Oh, good. Me, neither. 682 00:18:45,366 --> 00:18:47,285 Yeah, friends isn't gonna work. 683 00:18:45,366 --> 00:18:47,285 Nope. 684 00:18:47,285 --> 00:18:48,703 We're not good 685 00:18:47,285 --> 00:18:48,703 at being friends. 686 00:18:48,703 --> 00:18:50,038 We're not good at 687 00:18:48,703 --> 00:18:50,038 being in a relationship. 688 00:18:50,038 --> 00:18:51,664 What are we good at? 689 00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:53,958 I know something we're good at. 690 00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:53,958 I don't know. 691 00:18:53,958 --> 00:18:55,668 If we're gonna do it again, 692 00:18:53,958 --> 00:18:55,668 I'm gonna need some Gatorade... 693 00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:58,255 No. No, not that. 694 00:18:58,255 --> 00:18:59,881 Lying. Think about it. 695 00:18:59,881 --> 00:19:01,799 We spent the whole summer lying 696 00:18:59,881 --> 00:19:01,799 about being just friends. 697 00:19:01,799 --> 00:19:04,135 Why not just keep lying? 698 00:19:11,893 --> 00:19:13,811 Really? 699 00:19:11,893 --> 00:19:13,811 Yeah. Really. 700 00:19:13,811 --> 00:19:17,732 We sat down. We had the talk. 701 00:19:13,811 --> 00:19:17,732 Barney's my boyfriend now. 702 00:19:17,732 --> 00:19:19,317 And Robin's 703 00:19:17,732 --> 00:19:19,317 my girlfriend. 704 00:19:19,317 --> 00:19:21,569 I know it sounds nuts, 705 00:19:19,317 --> 00:19:21,569 but it feels good to say. 706 00:19:21,569 --> 00:19:23,654 We're both 707 00:19:21,569 --> 00:19:23,654 afraid of commitment, 708 00:19:23,654 --> 00:19:26,783 but the fact is, 709 00:19:23,654 --> 00:19:26,783 we also can't live 710 00:19:23,654 --> 00:19:26,783 without each other. 711 00:19:26,783 --> 00:19:28,201 And if the alternative 712 00:19:26,783 --> 00:19:28,201 is not being together, 713 00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:32,080 then it's worth 714 00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:32,080 taking this risk 'cause 715 00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:34,332 she's awesome. 716 00:19:34,332 --> 00:19:36,293 And he's awesome. 717 00:19:36,293 --> 00:19:38,169 He looks nice in a suit. 718 00:19:38,169 --> 00:19:40,338 She can handle her scotch. 719 00:19:40,338 --> 00:19:41,965 He's my boyfriend. 720 00:19:41,965 --> 00:19:44,008 And she's my girlfriend. 721 00:19:52,391 --> 00:19:53,893 Good enough! 722 00:19:56,980 --> 00:19:58,148 She bought it. 723 00:19:58,148 --> 00:19:59,899 Hook, line and sinker. 724 00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:01,985 We are good. 725 00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:01,985 Totally. 726 00:20:01,985 --> 00:20:04,195 So, you want to 727 00:20:01,985 --> 00:20:04,195 get some breakfast? 728 00:20:04,195 --> 00:20:06,906 You know, brunch actually 729 00:20:04,195 --> 00:20:06,906 does sound kind of good. 730 00:20:06,906 --> 00:20:09,993 Hm. Well, lead the way, 731 00:20:06,906 --> 00:20:09,993 sweetie pie. 732 00:20:09,993 --> 00:20:12,578 Whoa! Flugelhorn. 733 00:20:09,993 --> 00:20:12,578 Yeah, that felt wrong. 734 00:20:24,548 --> 00:20:26,634 You do realize 735 00:20:24,548 --> 00:20:26,634 they were lying, right? 736 00:20:26,634 --> 00:20:28,219 No, Ted. 737 00:20:28,219 --> 00:20:30,847 They don't realize 738 00:20:28,219 --> 00:20:30,847 they weren't lying. 739 00:20:41,774 --> 00:20:43,151 Oh! Hello. 740 00:20:43,151 --> 00:20:44,902 Hello. Good evening. 741 00:20:44,902 --> 00:20:46,654 Hello. Don't get up. 742 00:20:46,654 --> 00:20:48,198 Didn't we meet on a yacht? 743 00:20:48,198 --> 00:20:49,615 Hello. 744 00:20:52,076 --> 00:20:54,871 What? Oh, no. 745 00:20:54,871 --> 00:20:58,124 Did I not tell you guys 746 00:20:54,871 --> 00:20:58,124 that it was Tuxedo Night? 747 00:20:58,124 --> 00:21:00,710 Doesn't feel very good, 748 00:20:58,124 --> 00:21:00,710 does it?