1
00:00:02,171 --> 00:00:04,464
Kids, as long as I'd

2
00:00:02,171 --> 00:00:04,464
known your Uncle Barney,

3
00:00:04,506 --> 00:00:06,299
he'd always

4
00:00:04,506 --> 00:00:06,299
had some pretty strong

5
00:00:04,506 --> 00:00:06,299
opinions on relationships.

6
00:00:06,341 --> 00:00:12,555
Your girlfriend?

7
00:00:06,341 --> 00:00:12,555
She's your "girlfriend"?

8
00:00:06,341 --> 00:00:12,555
She's a girl, and a friend?

9
00:00:12,597 --> 00:00:16,267
How is...

10
00:00:12,597 --> 00:00:16,267
Do not humanize

11
00:00:12,597 --> 00:00:16,267
the enemy, Ted.

12
00:00:16,309 --> 00:00:18,436
But nice to meet you,

13
00:00:16,309 --> 00:00:18,436
Barney Stinson.

14
00:00:18,478 --> 00:00:20,939
And yet,

15
00:00:18,478 --> 00:00:20,939
in the fall of 2009,

16
00:00:20,981 --> 00:00:22,315
he was the one

17
00:00:20,981 --> 00:00:22,315
with the girlfriend.

18
00:00:22,357 --> 00:00:24,109
Go ahead, open it.

19
00:00:24,151 --> 00:00:26,361
Open it, open it,

20
00:00:24,151 --> 00:00:26,361
open it, open it!

21
00:00:26,402 --> 00:00:28,530
It's my porn collection!

22
00:00:28,571 --> 00:00:31,282
Just kidding.

23
00:00:28,571 --> 00:00:31,282
That would be weird.

24
00:00:31,324 --> 00:00:33,326
It's your porn collection.

25
00:00:31,324 --> 00:00:33,326
It's my porn collection!

26
00:00:33,368 --> 00:00:35,537
I'm giving you my porn.

27
00:00:35,578 --> 00:00:37,914
Now that things

28
00:00:35,578 --> 00:00:37,914
are so great with Robin,

29
00:00:35,578 --> 00:00:37,914
I don't need it anymore.

30
00:00:37,956 --> 00:00:43,336
Wow. You are voluntarily

31
00:00:37,956 --> 00:00:43,336
giving up your porn.

32
00:00:43,378 --> 00:00:44,337
You really are serious.

33
00:00:44,379 --> 00:00:46,089
Well, that's obvious.

34
00:00:46,131 --> 00:00:47,549
What does that mean?

35
00:00:46,131 --> 00:00:47,549
Oh, nothing.

36
00:00:47,590 --> 00:00:49,509
It's just, you know,

37
00:00:47,590 --> 00:00:49,509
you got relationship gut.

38
00:00:49,551 --> 00:00:53,555
What? No, I do not

39
00:00:49,551 --> 00:00:53,555
got "relationship gut."

40
00:00:53,596 --> 00:00:55,182
That is ridiculous.

41
00:00:55,224 --> 00:00:57,350
It's no big deal. I mean,

42
00:00:55,224 --> 00:00:57,350
once you're dating someone,

43
00:00:57,392 --> 00:01:00,520
it's natural to let things

44
00:00:57,392 --> 00:01:00,520
go a little bit. Trust me.

45
00:01:00,562 --> 00:01:02,105
We've been there.

46
00:01:02,147 --> 00:01:04,357
Yeah. Boy, did I

47
00:01:02,147 --> 00:01:04,357
pudge out for a while.

48
00:01:06,151 --> 00:01:08,111
Well, we should get going.

49
00:01:08,153 --> 00:01:12,365
Goodbye, my sweet,

50
00:01:08,153 --> 00:01:12,365
beloved friends, who

51
00:01:08,153 --> 00:01:12,365
have always been there for me.

52
00:01:12,407 --> 00:01:14,076
You'll be missed.

53
00:01:14,117 --> 00:01:15,368
He's talking to the porn.

54
00:01:15,410 --> 00:01:16,912
Oh.

55
00:01:16,953 --> 00:01:18,663
Bye, Robin.

56
00:01:16,953 --> 00:01:18,663
See you, Robs.

57
00:01:18,705 --> 00:01:21,166
Look at these videos.

58
00:01:21,208 --> 00:01:25,087
Space Orgy. Horny

59
00:01:21,208 --> 00:01:25,087
Co-Ed Surprise Party 23.

60
00:01:25,128 --> 00:01:26,629
You'd think after

61
00:01:25,128 --> 00:01:26,629
the first 22 parties,

62
00:01:26,671 --> 00:01:28,840
the co-eds wouldn't

63
00:01:26,671 --> 00:01:28,840
be surprised anymore.

64
00:01:28,882 --> 00:01:33,095
So, we can

65
00:01:28,882 --> 00:01:33,095
get rid of these for you.

66
00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:35,055
No. No, no, no,

67
00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:35,055
no, no, no, no.

68
00:01:35,097 --> 00:01:36,765
It's not a problem.

69
00:01:35,097 --> 00:01:36,765
I'll take care of them.

70
00:01:36,806 --> 00:01:38,975
Are you sure?

71
00:01:36,806 --> 00:01:38,975
I mean, no biggie.

72
00:01:39,017 --> 00:01:41,686
We can just swing by

73
00:01:39,017 --> 00:01:41,686
the back alley and drop

74
00:01:39,017 --> 00:01:41,686
the box in the dumpster.

75
00:01:41,728 --> 00:01:44,439
I see six of the words you

76
00:01:41,728 --> 00:01:44,439
just said on this video label.

77
00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:47,109
Seriously,

78
00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:47,109
it's not a big deal.

79
00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:47,109
I will take care of it.

80
00:01:47,150 --> 00:01:47,776
No. 'Cause I... I mean, we...

81
00:01:47,150 --> 00:01:47,776
Leave them!

82
00:01:47,817 --> 00:01:48,985
Okay.

83
00:01:51,446 --> 00:01:53,198
You know,

84
00:01:51,446 --> 00:01:53,198
in a way, it's sad, right?

85
00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:54,991
I mean, Barney's

86
00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:54,991
giving up his porn.

87
00:01:55,033 --> 00:01:56,243
He's got

88
00:01:55,033 --> 00:01:56,243
relationship gut.

89
00:01:56,285 --> 00:01:58,661
They eat at the

90
00:01:56,285 --> 00:01:58,661
same diner every night.

91
00:01:58,703 --> 00:02:00,705
It's like the end

92
00:01:58,703 --> 00:02:00,705
of Barney Stinson

93
00:01:58,703 --> 00:02:00,705
as we know him.

94
00:02:00,747 --> 00:02:02,498
Yeah, well, so what?

95
00:02:00,747 --> 00:02:02,498
They're happy...

96
00:02:02,540 --> 00:02:04,375
Yeah, well,

97
00:02:02,540 --> 00:02:04,375
we gotta go. Later.

98
00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:09,422
So, what'd you get?

99
00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:09,422
I got Squat.

100
00:02:09,464 --> 00:02:11,424
What are you...

101
00:02:09,464 --> 00:02:11,424
I thought I saw you take one?

102
00:02:11,466 --> 00:02:13,384
Yeah, I did.

103
00:02:11,466 --> 00:02:13,384
It's called Squat.

104
00:02:19,349 --> 00:02:22,560
"Archisexture."

105
00:02:22,602 --> 00:02:25,272
That is not

106
00:02:22,602 --> 00:02:25,272
how you spell

107
00:02:22,602 --> 00:02:25,272
"Buckminster Fuller."

108
00:02:25,314 --> 00:02:27,482
Kids, pornography is bad.

109
00:02:27,523 --> 00:02:30,860
And so, I was

110
00:02:27,523 --> 00:02:30,860
getting rid of that vile

111
00:02:27,523 --> 00:02:30,860
pornography right away...

112
00:02:30,902 --> 00:02:34,530
I am getting rid of this

113
00:02:30,902 --> 00:02:34,530
vile pornography right away.

114
00:02:34,572 --> 00:02:36,658
when something

115
00:02:34,572 --> 00:02:36,658
terrible happened.

116
00:02:39,494 --> 00:02:40,996
Oh, no.

117
00:02:43,915 --> 00:02:45,416
Oh, no.

118
00:02:51,006 --> 00:02:51,714
Oh, no.

119
00:02:54,968 --> 00:02:56,386
Oh, no.

120
00:02:58,805 --> 00:03:00,849
Archisexture...

121
00:03:00,890 --> 00:03:03,434
Hello, Ted.

122
00:03:03,476 --> 00:03:05,478
If you're

123
00:03:03,476 --> 00:03:05,478
watching this tape, and

124
00:03:03,476 --> 00:03:05,478
I knew you'd pick this one,

125
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,939
then you are now in

126
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,939
possession of my porn.

127
00:03:07,981 --> 00:03:11,234
This can only mean

128
00:03:07,981 --> 00:03:11,234
one of two things,

129
00:03:07,981 --> 00:03:11,234
either I'm dead,

130
00:03:11,276 --> 00:03:13,444
or I'm in

131
00:03:11,276 --> 00:03:13,444
a committed relationship.

132
00:03:13,486 --> 00:03:17,532
If I'm dead,

133
00:03:13,486 --> 00:03:17,532
I want you to

134
00:03:13,486 --> 00:03:17,532
honor my memory

135
00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:20,118
by taking my body

136
00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:20,118
to The Hamptons

137
00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:21,452
and recreating

138
00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:21,452
Weekend at Bernie's.

139
00:03:22,578 --> 00:03:24,539
I wanna dance,

140
00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:26,499
I wanna have

141
00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:26,499
sex with a girl

142
00:03:26,541 --> 00:03:29,127
and I wanna go fishing.

143
00:03:29,169 --> 00:03:32,755
If, on the other hand,

144
00:03:29,169 --> 00:03:32,755
I'm in a committed

145
00:03:29,169 --> 00:03:32,755
relationship,

146
00:03:32,797 --> 00:03:37,344
then, as your best friend,

147
00:03:32,797 --> 00:03:37,344
I have only one request.

148
00:03:37,386 --> 00:03:40,930
Please, for the love of God,

149
00:03:37,386 --> 00:03:40,930
get me out of it!

150
00:03:54,777 --> 00:03:57,488
I might look happy,

151
00:03:54,777 --> 00:03:57,488
but don't believe it.

152
00:03:57,530 --> 00:03:59,824
Barney Stinson is

153
00:03:57,530 --> 00:03:59,824
meant to be single.

154
00:03:59,866 --> 00:04:03,245
So, please,

155
00:03:59,866 --> 00:04:03,245
if you value my

156
00:03:59,866 --> 00:04:03,245
best friendship...

157
00:04:03,286 --> 00:04:04,662
That's right, Marshall,

158
00:04:03,286 --> 00:04:04,662
I'm his best friend.

159
00:04:04,704 --> 00:04:06,456
How does that feel?

160
00:04:06,497 --> 00:04:08,541
Then get me out of this.

161
00:04:08,583 --> 00:04:11,502
And, finally, since you

162
00:04:08,583 --> 00:04:11,502
were expecting some porn.

163
00:04:16,841 --> 00:04:18,801
No, no, no, baby.

164
00:04:16,841 --> 00:04:18,801
Don't worry.

165
00:04:18,843 --> 00:04:20,511
The flashing green

166
00:04:18,843 --> 00:04:20,511
light means it's off.

167
00:04:23,598 --> 00:04:25,934
Are we sure

168
00:04:23,598 --> 00:04:25,934
he was finished talking?

169
00:04:25,975 --> 00:04:29,062
Look, there's no reason

170
00:04:25,975 --> 00:04:29,062
we should take this

171
00:04:25,975 --> 00:04:29,062
seriously, right?

172
00:04:29,104 --> 00:04:33,442
Of course not.

173
00:04:29,104 --> 00:04:33,442
This is an old tape.

174
00:04:29,104 --> 00:04:33,442
Barney is happy with Robin.

175
00:04:33,483 --> 00:04:36,278
But over

176
00:04:33,483 --> 00:04:36,278
the next couple of weeks,

177
00:04:33,483 --> 00:04:36,278
I started to notice things.

178
00:04:36,319 --> 00:04:38,905
Barney and Robin stopped

179
00:04:36,319 --> 00:04:38,905
having crazy adventures.

180
00:04:38,947 --> 00:04:40,573
So, what'd you

181
00:04:38,947 --> 00:04:40,573
guys do last night?

182
00:04:40,615 --> 00:04:42,284
I wanted to

183
00:04:40,615 --> 00:04:42,284
go to a concert.

184
00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:43,618
He wanted to

185
00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:43,618
go to a party.

186
00:04:43,659 --> 00:04:45,870
Obviously, we couldn't do

187
00:04:43,659 --> 00:04:45,870
what just one of us wanted,

188
00:04:45,912 --> 00:04:48,706
so we just stayed in,

189
00:04:45,912 --> 00:04:48,706
watched a movie on cable.

190
00:04:48,748 --> 00:04:52,127
It was Legen... Wait for it.

191
00:04:52,168 --> 00:04:55,255
ds of the Fall.

192
00:04:52,168 --> 00:04:55,255
Legends of the Fall!

193
00:04:56,965 --> 00:04:59,468
It was okay.

194
00:04:59,509 --> 00:05:01,511
Barney stopped being himself.

195
00:05:01,552 --> 00:05:03,721
Hey, Barney.

196
00:05:01,552 --> 00:05:03,721
I'm chatting up

197
00:05:01,552 --> 00:05:03,721
this girl over there.

198
00:05:03,763 --> 00:05:06,724
I could use a little

199
00:05:03,763 --> 00:05:06,724
help landing the plane.

200
00:05:06,766 --> 00:05:08,684
Sorry, Ted,

201
00:05:06,766 --> 00:05:08,684
I'm my own wingman tonight.

202
00:05:12,688 --> 00:05:15,191
And Robin got annoyed

203
00:05:12,688 --> 00:05:15,191
at everything he said.

204
00:05:15,233 --> 00:05:16,859
So, how are you two?

205
00:05:16,901 --> 00:05:18,278
Great.

206
00:05:16,901 --> 00:05:18,278
Yeah.

207
00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:19,862
Relationships are the best.

208
00:05:19,904 --> 00:05:21,656
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

209
00:05:19,904 --> 00:05:21,656
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

210
00:05:21,697 --> 00:05:23,116
The sharing,

211
00:05:21,697 --> 00:05:23,116
the compromise.

212
00:05:23,158 --> 00:05:24,493
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

213
00:05:24,534 --> 00:05:26,453
The monogamy,

214
00:05:24,534 --> 00:05:26,453
can't beat it.

215
00:05:26,495 --> 00:05:28,079
Catchphrase, yes.

216
00:05:28,121 --> 00:05:30,248
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

217
00:05:30,290 --> 00:05:31,791
But the worse they got...

218
00:05:31,833 --> 00:05:34,877
I'm full, sweetie.

219
00:05:34,919 --> 00:05:37,297
the more they kept

220
00:05:34,919 --> 00:05:37,297
saying things were great.

221
00:05:37,339 --> 00:05:38,631
Now the truth is,

222
00:05:37,339 --> 00:05:38,631
Barney and Robin

223
00:05:38,673 --> 00:05:40,633
only let themselves go

224
00:05:38,673 --> 00:05:40,633
a little bit.

225
00:05:40,675 --> 00:05:43,594
But I swear,

226
00:05:40,675 --> 00:05:43,594
after a few more weeks,

227
00:05:40,675 --> 00:05:43,594
to us, they seemed like this.

228
00:05:46,264 --> 00:05:49,559
I'll be there,

229
00:05:46,264 --> 00:05:49,559
in a minute.

230
00:05:54,356 --> 00:05:55,482
Hey.

231
00:05:56,525 --> 00:05:57,692
They're killing each other!

232
00:05:57,733 --> 00:05:59,194
They love each other.

233
00:05:59,235 --> 00:06:00,820
Barney and Robin love

234
00:05:59,235 --> 00:06:00,820
each other,

235
00:06:00,862 --> 00:06:02,655
but they're not

236
00:06:00,862 --> 00:06:02,655
Barney and Robin anymore.

237
00:06:02,697 --> 00:06:04,073
They're the fat guy

238
00:06:02,697 --> 00:06:04,073
and the old lady.

239
00:06:04,115 --> 00:06:05,992
My favorite

240
00:06:04,115 --> 00:06:05,992
'70s detective show.

241
00:06:06,034 --> 00:06:08,453
Look, it's so clear.

242
00:06:08,495 --> 00:06:11,664
Barney's been overeating

243
00:06:08,495 --> 00:06:11,664
because he hates being

244
00:06:08,495 --> 00:06:11,664
tied down like this.

245
00:06:11,706 --> 00:06:14,334
And Robin's stressing out

246
00:06:11,706 --> 00:06:14,334
because she hates what

247
00:06:11,706 --> 00:06:14,334
Barney's turned into.

248
00:06:14,376 --> 00:06:16,627
No. They're a perfect match.

249
00:06:16,669 --> 00:06:17,879
Well, maybe

250
00:06:16,669 --> 00:06:17,879
that's the problem.

251
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:19,506
I mean, maybe

252
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:19,506
they're too similar.

253
00:06:19,548 --> 00:06:21,674
It must be tough having

254
00:06:19,548 --> 00:06:21,674
two alpha dogs in one

255
00:06:19,548 --> 00:06:21,674
relationship.

256
00:06:21,716 --> 00:06:23,051
We have

257
00:06:21,716 --> 00:06:23,051
two alpha dogs

258
00:06:21,716 --> 00:06:23,051
in our relationship.

259
00:06:23,092 --> 00:06:25,636
Sure we do, sweetie.

260
00:06:25,678 --> 00:06:27,514
If they're not happy,

261
00:06:25,678 --> 00:06:27,514
why don't they just

262
00:06:25,678 --> 00:06:27,514
break up?

263
00:06:27,556 --> 00:06:29,682
Because they're too stubborn.

264
00:06:29,724 --> 00:06:31,809
Neither one of them

265
00:06:29,724 --> 00:06:31,809
wants to be the first

266
00:06:29,724 --> 00:06:31,809
to admit that they want out.

267
00:06:31,851 --> 00:06:33,395
They're playing

268
00:06:31,851 --> 00:06:33,395
relationship chicken.

269
00:06:33,436 --> 00:06:34,812
I think Barney ate

270
00:06:33,436 --> 00:06:34,812
the relationship chicken.

271
00:06:36,314 --> 00:06:38,441
Ted, it's just a rough patch.

272
00:06:38,483 --> 00:06:40,402
It takes time

273
00:06:38,483 --> 00:06:40,402
getting used to

274
00:06:38,483 --> 00:06:40,402
being with someone else.

275
00:06:40,443 --> 00:06:42,111
And they're both...

276
00:06:42,153 --> 00:06:44,406
What's the nice

277
00:06:42,153 --> 00:06:44,406
word for selfish?

278
00:06:42,153 --> 00:06:44,406
Independent.

279
00:06:44,447 --> 00:06:46,991
Independent. Every

280
00:06:44,447 --> 00:06:46,991
relationship goes

281
00:06:44,447 --> 00:06:46,991
through this.

282
00:06:47,033 --> 00:06:49,118
It's true.

283
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:51,996
I have

284
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:51,996
this astronaut friend,

285
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:51,996
totally loved his fiancee.

286
00:06:52,038 --> 00:06:54,707
And then, the day before

287
00:06:52,038 --> 00:06:54,707
his mission, she caught him

288
00:06:54,749 --> 00:06:57,502
with, like,

289
00:06:54,749 --> 00:06:57,502
four other chicks,

290
00:06:54,749 --> 00:06:57,502
a couple of dudes.

291
00:06:57,544 --> 00:06:59,254
Things got really tense.

292
00:06:59,295 --> 00:07:02,048
Finally, she ended up

293
00:06:59,295 --> 00:07:02,048
sneaking out of the

294
00:06:59,295 --> 00:07:02,048
space shuttle...

295
00:07:02,090 --> 00:07:03,174
Are you talking

296
00:07:02,090 --> 00:07:03,174
about Space Orgy?

297
00:07:03,216 --> 00:07:05,260
Yes, I am.

298
00:07:05,301 --> 00:07:07,887
Ted, it's just a rough patch.

299
00:07:05,301 --> 00:07:07,887
Just let things run

300
00:07:05,301 --> 00:07:07,887
their course.

301
00:07:07,929 --> 00:07:09,180
She's right.

302
00:07:07,929 --> 00:07:09,180
But...

303
00:07:09,222 --> 00:07:11,724
Two-to-one, Ted.

304
00:07:09,222 --> 00:07:11,724
Leave them alone.

305
00:07:11,766 --> 00:07:13,393
So I did leave them alone.

306
00:07:13,435 --> 00:07:14,894
But that weekend...

307
00:07:14,936 --> 00:07:16,896
Mmm.

308
00:07:16,938 --> 00:07:19,732
Have you

309
00:07:16,938 --> 00:07:19,732
noticed how beef ribs

310
00:07:16,938 --> 00:07:19,732
used to always be disgusting,

311
00:07:19,774 --> 00:07:23,819
and then recently they found

312
00:07:19,774 --> 00:07:23,819
a way to make them really

313
00:07:19,774 --> 00:07:23,819
delicious instead?

314
00:07:23,861 --> 00:07:26,739
Okay, Barney.

315
00:07:23,861 --> 00:07:26,739
I'm gonna go ahead

316
00:07:23,861 --> 00:07:26,739
and ask you this head on.

317
00:07:26,781 --> 00:07:28,074
Are you happy with Robin?

318
00:07:28,116 --> 00:07:30,076
Are you kidding?

319
00:07:30,118 --> 00:07:32,662
How could I not be

320
00:07:30,118 --> 00:07:32,662
happy with Robin?

321
00:07:30,118 --> 00:07:32,662
It's Robin!

322
00:07:32,703 --> 00:07:33,871
So are you happy?

323
00:07:33,913 --> 00:07:35,748
I can't believe

324
00:07:33,913 --> 00:07:35,748
you'd even ask me that.

325
00:07:35,790 --> 00:07:38,209
I mean, yes,

326
00:07:35,790 --> 00:07:38,209
we fight all the time,

327
00:07:38,251 --> 00:07:40,836
but, you know what they

328
00:07:38,251 --> 00:07:40,836
say about relationships.

329
00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:42,713
"Every moment's a battle."

330
00:07:43,756 --> 00:07:45,007
So are you happy?

331
00:07:45,049 --> 00:07:46,842
And you know what

332
00:07:45,049 --> 00:07:46,842
goes hand-in-hand

333
00:07:46,884 --> 00:07:49,845
with fighting,

334
00:07:46,884 --> 00:07:49,845
the make-up sex,

335
00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:53,391
which is different

336
00:07:53,433 --> 00:07:55,726
when you're in a loving,

337
00:07:53,433 --> 00:07:55,726
long-term relationship.

338
00:07:56,811 --> 00:07:58,854
Heads, we have sex.

339
00:07:58,896 --> 00:08:01,983
Tails, we order

340
00:07:58,896 --> 00:08:01,983
a whole pizza and

341
00:07:58,896 --> 00:08:01,983
just lay here moaning.

342
00:08:02,024 --> 00:08:03,985
Oh, great.

343
00:08:02,024 --> 00:08:03,985
Let the coin decide.

344
00:08:07,697 --> 00:08:09,198
Which was pizza again?

345
00:08:07,697 --> 00:08:09,198
Tails.

346
00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:11,826
It was tails.

347
00:08:11,867 --> 00:08:15,746
Sex. Am I right?

348
00:08:11,867 --> 00:08:15,746
Thank God that's mostly over.

349
00:08:17,915 --> 00:08:20,251
I'm still hungry. You hungry?

350
00:08:21,544 --> 00:08:23,212
We have to break them up.

351
00:08:28,884 --> 00:08:32,305
You're right.

352
00:08:28,884 --> 00:08:32,305
Barney and Robin

353
00:08:28,884 --> 00:08:32,305
are miserable together,

354
00:08:32,347 --> 00:08:34,349
but they're too

355
00:08:32,347 --> 00:08:34,349
stubborn to admit it.

356
00:08:34,390 --> 00:08:35,350
So, we have to

357
00:08:34,390 --> 00:08:35,350
get them to break up.

358
00:08:35,391 --> 00:08:36,809
How do we do that?

359
00:08:36,851 --> 00:08:40,605
We unleash the Kraken.

360
00:08:40,647 --> 00:08:43,441
Kids, as you know,

361
00:08:40,647 --> 00:08:43,441
earlier that year,

362
00:08:40,647 --> 00:08:43,441
I'd learned that

363
00:08:43,483 --> 00:08:49,071
Lily had broken up not one,

364
00:08:43,483 --> 00:08:49,071
not two, but seven of my

365
00:08:43,483 --> 00:08:49,071
past relationships.

366
00:08:49,113 --> 00:08:50,823
Forget it.

367
00:08:49,113 --> 00:08:50,823
I'm retired.

368
00:08:50,865 --> 00:08:52,074
I'm out of the game.

369
00:08:52,116 --> 00:08:53,951
But nobody's

370
00:08:52,116 --> 00:08:53,951
better than you.

371
00:08:53,993 --> 00:08:56,871
I'm telling you.

372
00:08:53,993 --> 00:08:56,871
I swore off that racket.

373
00:08:56,912 --> 00:08:59,708
I've gone legit.

374
00:08:56,912 --> 00:08:59,708
I'm a matchmaker now.

375
00:08:59,749 --> 00:09:02,460
Set me up with someone.

376
00:08:59,749 --> 00:09:02,460
Whoa! I'm just starting out.

377
00:09:02,502 --> 00:09:04,295
Listen, you've gotta

378
00:09:02,502 --> 00:09:04,295
break them up.

379
00:09:04,337 --> 00:09:05,838
This relationship is

380
00:09:04,337 --> 00:09:05,838
killing them.

381
00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:08,550
I know it is, but

382
00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:08,550
I've learned my lesson.

383
00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:11,844
No more interfering.

384
00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:11,844
Let things run their course.

385
00:09:11,886 --> 00:09:13,888
It's two-to-one.

386
00:09:11,886 --> 00:09:13,888
Yes, but the one is me.

387
00:09:16,891 --> 00:09:19,143
All right, we don't need her.

388
00:09:16,891 --> 00:09:19,143
We can break them up on

389
00:09:16,891 --> 00:09:19,143
our own.

390
00:09:19,185 --> 00:09:20,853
How?

391
00:09:20,895 --> 00:09:22,689
Okay, remember when

392
00:09:20,895 --> 00:09:22,689
Robin and I were dating?

393
00:09:22,731 --> 00:09:25,858
What was the one big thing

394
00:09:22,731 --> 00:09:25,858
that really freaked her out?

395
00:09:25,900 --> 00:09:29,070
No. No. No. No. No. Ted,

396
00:09:25,900 --> 00:09:29,070
you cannot do this to me.

397
00:09:29,111 --> 00:09:31,155
No! No. No. No.

398
00:09:31,197 --> 00:09:32,699
What are you

399
00:09:31,197 --> 00:09:32,699
talking about?

400
00:09:32,741 --> 00:09:34,200
This. This is

401
00:09:32,741 --> 00:09:34,200
what I'm talking about.

402
00:09:34,242 --> 00:09:36,786
What is this doing

403
00:09:34,242 --> 00:09:36,786
in my champagne?

404
00:09:36,827 --> 00:09:39,372
If we make Robin think

405
00:09:36,827 --> 00:09:39,372
for even a second that

406
00:09:36,827 --> 00:09:39,372
Barney is proposing,

407
00:09:39,414 --> 00:09:41,791
she'll lose it,

408
00:09:39,414 --> 00:09:41,791
and they'll break up.

409
00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:43,376
That's crazy.

410
00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:43,376
Why don't we just, like,

411
00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:43,376
lead Barney into temptation?

412
00:09:43,418 --> 00:09:45,628
We'll find some hot

413
00:09:43,418 --> 00:09:45,628
woman to hit on him.

414
00:09:50,007 --> 00:09:51,467
Okay, the ring thing.

415
00:09:57,306 --> 00:09:59,016
Stakeout van.

416
00:09:59,058 --> 00:10:00,769
What?

417
00:09:59,058 --> 00:10:00,769
We should have

418
00:09:59,058 --> 00:10:00,769
gotten a stakeout van.

419
00:10:00,810 --> 00:10:02,978
We could have ordered pizza,

420
00:10:00,810 --> 00:10:02,978
and looked through big

421
00:10:00,810 --> 00:10:02,978
binoculars

422
00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:05,940
and said, "This ain't

423
00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:05,940
what I signed up for."

424
00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:05,940
Stuff like that.

425
00:10:05,981 --> 00:10:07,983
Shh...

426
00:10:05,981 --> 00:10:07,983
Here comes the waiter.

427
00:10:08,943 --> 00:10:10,278
Please, shut up!

428
00:10:10,319 --> 00:10:11,571
What?

429
00:10:11,613 --> 00:10:13,864
I thought you

430
00:10:11,613 --> 00:10:13,864
said something. Sorry.

431
00:10:19,912 --> 00:10:22,457
Is that an engagement ring?

432
00:10:22,498 --> 00:10:23,583
Are you?

433
00:10:23,625 --> 00:10:24,959
Oh, no. No.

434
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:28,630
That's not me. They must've

435
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:28,630
delivered it to the

436
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:28,630
wrong table.

437
00:10:28,671 --> 00:10:30,548
Could you imagine,

438
00:10:28,671 --> 00:10:30,548
us getting married?

439
00:10:31,966 --> 00:10:35,386
Well, we are

440
00:10:31,966 --> 00:10:35,386
committed to

441
00:10:31,966 --> 00:10:35,386
each other.

442
00:10:35,428 --> 00:10:37,472
Most of your stuff is

443
00:10:35,428 --> 00:10:37,472
already at my apartment.

444
00:10:37,513 --> 00:10:38,931
Might make

445
00:10:37,513 --> 00:10:38,931
taxes easier.

446
00:10:38,973 --> 00:10:40,767
Speed up your citizenship.

447
00:10:40,809 --> 00:10:42,435
"Scherbatsky" is

448
00:10:40,809 --> 00:10:42,435
so hard to spell.

449
00:10:42,477 --> 00:10:44,186
My mom would be so happy.

450
00:10:46,481 --> 00:10:48,941
I guess so.

451
00:10:46,481 --> 00:10:48,941
No reason not to.

452
00:10:48,983 --> 00:10:50,192
We're getting married!

453
00:10:50,234 --> 00:10:51,944
Not so loud. Geez!

454
00:10:51,986 --> 00:10:54,322
What did you do?

455
00:10:51,986 --> 00:10:54,322
I am furious right now.

456
00:10:54,363 --> 00:10:55,865
This is so wrong!

457
00:10:55,906 --> 00:10:57,408
Lily, will you be

458
00:10:55,906 --> 00:10:57,408
my maid of honor?

459
00:10:57,450 --> 00:10:58,951
Oh, my God.

460
00:10:57,450 --> 00:10:58,951
I would love to.

461
00:11:00,995 --> 00:11:03,372
Are you out of your mind?

462
00:11:03,414 --> 00:11:06,876
You knew they were playing

463
00:11:03,414 --> 00:11:06,876
relationship chicken, and

464
00:11:03,414 --> 00:11:06,876
what did you do?

465
00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:09,754
You put an engagement ring

466
00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:09,754
in front of them.

467
00:11:09,796 --> 00:11:13,048
Okay.

468
00:11:09,796 --> 00:11:13,048
That's it.

469
00:11:09,796 --> 00:11:13,048
I'm taking over.

470
00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:16,969
I'm coming

471
00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:16,969
out of retirement

472
00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:16,969
for one last breakup.

473
00:11:17,011 --> 00:11:18,554
Yes!

474
00:11:18,596 --> 00:11:20,222
All right.

475
00:11:18,596 --> 00:11:20,222
How are we

476
00:11:18,596 --> 00:11:20,222
gonna do it?

477
00:11:20,264 --> 00:11:22,517
These guys are in so deep

478
00:11:20,264 --> 00:11:22,517
just one fight ain't

479
00:11:20,264 --> 00:11:22,517
gonna do it.

480
00:11:22,558 --> 00:11:26,020
We need to reignite the four

481
00:11:22,558 --> 00:11:26,020
biggest fights they've

482
00:11:22,558 --> 00:11:26,020
ever been in,

483
00:11:26,061 --> 00:11:27,938
all at once.

484
00:11:27,980 --> 00:11:30,566
Number one,

485
00:11:27,980 --> 00:11:30,566
the battle of

486
00:11:27,980 --> 00:11:30,566
the dirty dishes.

487
00:11:34,028 --> 00:11:38,366
Number two,

488
00:11:34,028 --> 00:11:38,366
the ex-girlfriend conflict.

489
00:11:38,407 --> 00:11:41,243
Hey, don't you know

490
00:11:38,407 --> 00:11:41,243
that girl over there?

491
00:11:41,285 --> 00:11:43,037
No. I don't think so.

492
00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:46,999
No, in fact,

493
00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:46,999
I have definitely...

494
00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:46,999
Hey, it's Meg.

495
00:11:47,041 --> 00:11:50,127
Well, I am certainly not

496
00:11:47,041 --> 00:11:50,127
comparing you two in my

497
00:11:47,041 --> 00:11:50,127
mind right now.

498
00:11:50,169 --> 00:11:51,546
Whoops. Hey,

499
00:11:50,169 --> 00:11:51,546
will you get that for me?

500
00:11:51,587 --> 00:11:53,005
Really?

501
00:11:51,587 --> 00:11:53,005
Please?

502
00:11:53,047 --> 00:11:54,965
Why do you keep doing this?

503
00:11:53,047 --> 00:11:54,965
You're embarrassing me

504
00:11:53,047 --> 00:11:54,965
in public.

505
00:11:55,007 --> 00:11:56,384
You're constantly

506
00:11:55,007 --> 00:11:56,384
putting me in these positions.

507
00:11:56,425 --> 00:12:00,012
Number three,

508
00:11:56,425 --> 00:12:00,012
the Star Wars altercation.

509
00:12:00,054 --> 00:12:02,973
Isn't it time you got

510
00:12:00,054 --> 00:12:02,973
rid of your stupid doll?

511
00:12:03,015 --> 00:12:05,184
It's not a doll.

512
00:12:03,015 --> 00:12:05,184
It's a Stormtrooper.

513
00:12:05,226 --> 00:12:07,770
Uh... He's wearing a diaper.

514
00:12:07,812 --> 00:12:10,189
It's not

515
00:12:07,812 --> 00:12:10,189
a diaper, Robin.

516
00:12:07,812 --> 00:12:10,189
It's protective armor.

517
00:12:10,231 --> 00:12:12,191
Stormtrooper,

518
00:12:10,231 --> 00:12:12,191
more like Stormpooper.

519
00:12:12,233 --> 00:12:13,359
Stop it!

520
00:12:13,401 --> 00:12:15,945
Whoa! Oh!

521
00:12:15,986 --> 00:12:18,155
It sounds

522
00:12:15,986 --> 00:12:18,155
like your Stormpooper

523
00:12:15,986 --> 00:12:18,155
here needs a changing.

524
00:12:18,197 --> 00:12:19,407
Okay, you know what,

525
00:12:18,197 --> 00:12:19,407
I'm sick of it.

526
00:12:19,448 --> 00:12:21,033
I'm sick of your jokes.

527
00:12:19,448 --> 00:12:21,033
I didn't say anything.

528
00:12:21,075 --> 00:12:23,035
Your jokes about the magic...

529
00:12:21,075 --> 00:12:23,035
I can't joke?

530
00:12:23,077 --> 00:12:27,790
And of course, the biggie,

531
00:12:23,077 --> 00:12:27,790
the Canadian-American war.

532
00:12:27,832 --> 00:12:32,169
Thank God that song's over.

533
00:12:27,832 --> 00:12:32,169
Who the hell was that old

534
00:12:27,832 --> 00:12:32,169
lady singing?

535
00:12:32,211 --> 00:12:35,840
Okay, you know

536
00:12:32,211 --> 00:12:35,840
that Neil Young is

537
00:12:32,211 --> 00:12:35,840
my favorite musician.

538
00:12:35,882 --> 00:12:38,050
Right. Now was

539
00:12:35,882 --> 00:12:38,050
that the same old lady

540
00:12:38,092 --> 00:12:39,427
who played

541
00:12:38,092 --> 00:12:39,427
Archie Bunker's wife

542
00:12:38,092 --> 00:12:39,427
in All in the Family,

543
00:12:39,468 --> 00:12:41,053
or just a sound-alike?

544
00:12:41,095 --> 00:12:43,514
Neil Young is

545
00:12:41,095 --> 00:12:43,514
a Canadian treasure.

546
00:12:43,556 --> 00:12:45,975
Do not make fun of Neil Young.

547
00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:48,060
Robin, I would

548
00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:48,060
never make fun

549
00:12:48,102 --> 00:12:50,855
of a defenseless, old lady

550
00:12:48,102 --> 00:12:50,855
with vocal cord paralysis.

551
00:12:50,897 --> 00:12:52,106
Here we go.

552
00:12:50,897 --> 00:12:52,106
Ever.

553
00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:53,983
In public? Really?

554
00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:53,983
Yeah, in public.

555
00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:53,983
I'll go there.

556
00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:55,067
We're gonna have

557
00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:55,067
a fight in public?

558
00:12:55,109 --> 00:12:56,151
It's nothing

559
00:12:55,109 --> 00:12:56,151
to be mad about.

560
00:12:56,193 --> 00:12:57,445
I got it.

561
00:12:57,486 --> 00:12:59,948
I got it.

562
00:12:57,486 --> 00:12:59,948
We e-mail them pictures

563
00:12:59,989 --> 00:13:01,908
reminding them of

564
00:12:59,989 --> 00:13:01,908
each of these fights.

565
00:13:01,950 --> 00:13:04,535
You child.

566
00:13:01,950 --> 00:13:04,535
Here's how it goes down.

567
00:13:04,577 --> 00:13:06,328
They're at the diner.

568
00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:09,415
First, rekindling the

569
00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:09,415
Canadian-American debate,

570
00:13:09,457 --> 00:13:11,542
Ontario native Alan Thicke

571
00:13:09,457 --> 00:13:11,542
stops by the table.

572
00:13:11,584 --> 00:13:14,211
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

573
00:13:14,253 --> 00:13:16,297
Alan Thicke?

574
00:13:16,338 --> 00:13:18,800
Oh! Right, Robin knew him

575
00:13:16,338 --> 00:13:18,800
back when she was a singer.

576
00:13:18,841 --> 00:13:20,217
Yeah, and they

577
00:13:18,841 --> 00:13:20,217
still keep in touch.

578
00:13:20,259 --> 00:13:22,094
I already got his

579
00:13:20,259 --> 00:13:22,094
number off her phone.

580
00:13:22,136 --> 00:13:25,347
Seriously, amateurs.

581
00:13:25,389 --> 00:13:28,434
So

582
00:13:25,389 --> 00:13:28,434
Alan Thicke restarts

583
00:13:25,389 --> 00:13:28,434
the Canada-US fight.

584
00:13:28,476 --> 00:13:31,646
Right at that moment,

585
00:13:28,476 --> 00:13:31,646
Crazy Meg shows up.

586
00:13:31,687 --> 00:13:35,190
Then, a Stormtrooper

587
00:13:31,687 --> 00:13:35,190
happens to walk by

588
00:13:31,687 --> 00:13:35,190
the window.

589
00:13:35,232 --> 00:13:37,777
And just

590
00:13:35,232 --> 00:13:37,777
when they can't

591
00:13:35,232 --> 00:13:37,777
take anything more,

592
00:13:37,819 --> 00:13:41,113
a busboy walks by

593
00:13:37,819 --> 00:13:41,113
with a tray full of what?

594
00:13:41,155 --> 00:13:42,573
Dirty dishes.

595
00:13:51,791 --> 00:13:56,128
Lily, this is

596
00:13:51,791 --> 00:13:56,128
your masterpiece.

597
00:13:56,170 --> 00:13:58,130
We're getting

598
00:13:56,170 --> 00:13:58,130
a stakeout van!

599
00:13:58,172 --> 00:14:02,134
A station wagon? Really?

600
00:13:58,172 --> 00:14:02,134
You rented a station wagon?

601
00:14:02,176 --> 00:14:04,136
Yeah, a van cost,

602
00:14:02,176 --> 00:14:04,136
like, 25 bucks more.

603
00:14:04,178 --> 00:14:07,598
A station wagon.

604
00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:09,391
Greetings, Will Robinson!

605
00:14:09,433 --> 00:14:11,143
Where's the birthday boy

606
00:14:09,433 --> 00:14:11,143
or girl?

607
00:14:11,185 --> 00:14:12,937
Hey, climb on in.

608
00:14:12,979 --> 00:14:14,355
What the hell is this?

609
00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:16,607
They didn't have

610
00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:16,607
any Stormtroopers,

611
00:14:16,649 --> 00:14:19,151
so I had to get

612
00:14:16,649 --> 00:14:19,151
a different robot.

613
00:14:16,649 --> 00:14:19,151
This will still work.

614
00:14:19,193 --> 00:14:22,279
Different robot?

615
00:14:19,193 --> 00:14:22,279
Stormtroopers aren't robots.

616
00:14:22,321 --> 00:14:26,158
Of course they're robots.

617
00:14:22,321 --> 00:14:26,158
"Must kill Luke Skywalker."

618
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:27,535
Nobody says

619
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:27,535
that in Star Wars.

620
00:14:27,576 --> 00:14:29,578
Really lousy

621
00:14:27,576 --> 00:14:29,578
robot voice, honey.

622
00:14:29,620 --> 00:14:31,288
Someone ordered

623
00:14:29,620 --> 00:14:31,288
an extra-large sausage.

624
00:14:31,330 --> 00:14:33,749
Hey, one of

625
00:14:31,330 --> 00:14:33,749
Barney's videos

626
00:14:31,330 --> 00:14:33,749
starts off just like that.

627
00:14:33,791 --> 00:14:37,045
Hey, guys,

628
00:14:33,791 --> 00:14:37,045
Barney's ordering

629
00:14:33,791 --> 00:14:37,045
five of something.

630
00:14:37,086 --> 00:14:38,629
I don't know if

631
00:14:37,086 --> 00:14:38,629
it's gonna fit in here.

632
00:14:38,671 --> 00:14:40,130
Okay. Now you're

633
00:14:38,671 --> 00:14:40,130
just quoting the video.

634
00:14:40,172 --> 00:14:42,758
Still ordering.

635
00:14:40,172 --> 00:14:42,758
Waiter's taking

636
00:14:40,172 --> 00:14:42,758
out a second pad.

637
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:44,093
Yeah, okay, well,

638
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:44,093
we need it in here.

639
00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:45,260
We're on a stakeout.

640
00:14:45,302 --> 00:14:46,679
Shouldn't you be in a van?

641
00:14:46,721 --> 00:14:48,723
A van costs more.

642
00:14:46,721 --> 00:14:48,723
Thank you.

643
00:14:48,764 --> 00:14:51,183
Score me a slice,

644
00:14:48,764 --> 00:14:51,183
Will Robinson.

645
00:14:51,225 --> 00:14:53,561
No, no, no. You get

646
00:14:51,225 --> 00:14:53,561
a stain on that costume,

647
00:14:51,225 --> 00:14:53,561
they're gonna charge us.

648
00:14:53,602 --> 00:14:55,563
Dude, will you

649
00:14:53,602 --> 00:14:55,563
just chill about money.

650
00:14:55,604 --> 00:14:57,231
Yeah, let the Stormtrooper

651
00:14:55,604 --> 00:14:57,231
have a slice.

652
00:14:57,272 --> 00:14:59,274
Yeah. It's not a Stormtrooper.

653
00:14:57,272 --> 00:14:59,274
It's not a Stormtrooper.

654
00:15:01,652 --> 00:15:03,529
Hi, Lily.

655
00:15:01,652 --> 00:15:03,529
Sorry I'm late.

656
00:15:01,652 --> 00:15:03,529
I was looking for a van.

657
00:15:03,571 --> 00:15:05,197
Thank you.

658
00:15:03,571 --> 00:15:05,197
$25.

659
00:15:05,239 --> 00:15:06,365
So, should I go

660
00:15:05,239 --> 00:15:06,365
say hi to Robin?

661
00:15:06,407 --> 00:15:08,576
Not yet. Get in the car.

662
00:15:08,617 --> 00:15:12,329
Okay, so wait, wait, wait.

663
00:15:08,617 --> 00:15:12,329
When they blew up the

664
00:15:08,617 --> 00:15:12,329
Death Star,

665
00:15:12,371 --> 00:15:15,165
knowing full well

666
00:15:12,371 --> 00:15:15,165
there were thousands

667
00:15:12,371 --> 00:15:15,165
of Stormtroopers on it,

668
00:15:15,207 --> 00:15:16,208
those were people?

669
00:15:16,250 --> 00:15:17,919
Well, it was called

670
00:15:16,250 --> 00:15:17,919
the Death Star, baby.

671
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,378
They knew what

672
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,378
they were getting into.

673
00:15:19,420 --> 00:15:22,214
Look, I don't wanna play

674
00:15:19,420 --> 00:15:22,214
the "I'm Alan Thicke" card,

675
00:15:22,256 --> 00:15:24,341
but I really do have

676
00:15:22,256 --> 00:15:24,341
a dinner to get to, so...

677
00:15:24,383 --> 00:15:26,094
Someone has gotta

678
00:15:24,383 --> 00:15:26,094
take this sausage.

679
00:15:26,135 --> 00:15:27,887
Okay, were you in that video?

680
00:15:27,929 --> 00:15:29,346
Were you the guy

681
00:15:27,929 --> 00:15:29,346
with the farmer tan?

682
00:15:29,388 --> 00:15:31,348
Jonesing for some za,

683
00:15:29,388 --> 00:15:31,348
Will Robinson.

684
00:15:31,390 --> 00:15:33,475
Come on,

685
00:15:31,390 --> 00:15:33,475
I'm Alan Thicke!

686
00:15:33,517 --> 00:15:35,227
This ain't what

687
00:15:33,517 --> 00:15:35,227
I signed up for.

688
00:15:35,269 --> 00:15:36,771
Hey, that's my...

689
00:15:36,812 --> 00:15:38,147
Okay, you know what,

690
00:15:36,812 --> 00:15:38,147
everyone stop!

691
00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:40,274
Alan Thicke, shut up!

692
00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:43,235
Marshall, it's

693
00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:43,235
a station wagon, get over it!

694
00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:43,235
Ted, stop talking about porn!

695
00:15:43,277 --> 00:15:46,363
And for the

696
00:15:43,277 --> 00:15:46,363
love of God, somebody get

697
00:15:43,277 --> 00:15:46,363
the Stormtrooper some pizza!

698
00:15:46,405 --> 00:15:48,074
It's not a Stormtrooper.

699
00:15:46,405 --> 00:15:48,074
It's not a Stormtrooper.

700
00:15:48,116 --> 00:15:49,117
Crap!

701
00:15:50,284 --> 00:15:51,953
They see us.

702
00:15:51,994 --> 00:15:53,495
Danger!

703
00:15:51,994 --> 00:15:53,495
Danger!

704
00:16:01,129 --> 00:16:03,005
Are

705
00:16:01,129 --> 00:16:03,005
you sure they saw us?

706
00:16:01,129 --> 00:16:03,005
Yes.

707
00:16:03,047 --> 00:16:04,715
Hey!

708
00:16:04,757 --> 00:16:07,301
Can I go talk to Barney now?

709
00:16:04,757 --> 00:16:07,301
I'm so excited.

710
00:16:07,342 --> 00:16:09,553
Do you really think

711
00:16:07,342 --> 00:16:09,553
he's gonna propose to me?

712
00:16:09,595 --> 00:16:11,263
Oh, honey.

713
00:16:11,305 --> 00:16:13,015
Forget it, Crazy Meg.

714
00:16:11,305 --> 00:16:13,015
We've been made.

715
00:16:13,057 --> 00:16:14,516
If we try anything now,

716
00:16:13,057 --> 00:16:14,516
they're gonna know it's us.

717
00:16:14,558 --> 00:16:15,893
I think we should all

718
00:16:14,558 --> 00:16:15,893
just go home.

719
00:16:15,935 --> 00:16:18,479
No! This is my masterpiece.

720
00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:21,190
So what if they saw us?

721
00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:21,190
It'll still work.

722
00:16:21,273 --> 00:16:22,733
Stop it!

723
00:16:21,273 --> 00:16:22,733
We'll think of

724
00:16:21,273 --> 00:16:22,733
something else.

725
00:16:22,775 --> 00:16:25,194
Let me repeat,

726
00:16:22,775 --> 00:16:25,194
I am Alan Thicke.

727
00:16:25,235 --> 00:16:27,404
You're Alan Thicke?

728
00:16:28,030 --> 00:16:29,657
No.

729
00:16:29,698 --> 00:16:33,285
Alan Thicke, you're up.

730
00:16:29,698 --> 00:16:33,285
Get on out there.

731
00:16:33,327 --> 00:16:36,164
And so, Lily

732
00:16:33,327 --> 00:16:36,164
followed through with

733
00:16:33,327 --> 00:16:36,164
her plan.

734
00:16:36,205 --> 00:16:37,539
First, Alan Thicke,

735
00:16:38,582 --> 00:16:40,417
followed by Crazy Meg,

736
00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:44,172
then the robot

737
00:16:44,213 --> 00:16:46,507
and, finally,

738
00:16:44,213 --> 00:16:46,507
the dirty dishes.

739
00:16:49,343 --> 00:16:50,344
But by the end of it...

740
00:16:52,888 --> 00:16:54,765
They're kissing.

741
00:16:52,888 --> 00:16:54,765
They shouldn't be kissing.

742
00:16:54,807 --> 00:16:56,475
Why isn't this working?

743
00:16:56,517 --> 00:16:58,477
Because they're in love.

744
00:17:00,896 --> 00:17:02,523
It really was

745
00:17:00,896 --> 00:17:02,523
just a rough patch.

746
00:17:03,941 --> 00:17:05,776
What the hell am I doing?

747
00:17:07,820 --> 00:17:09,947
This whole thing

748
00:17:07,820 --> 00:17:09,947
was a mistake.

749
00:17:11,991 --> 00:17:14,284
So, any of you

750
00:17:11,991 --> 00:17:14,284
dudes wanna get high?

751
00:17:16,912 --> 00:17:19,331
I never thought I'd

752
00:17:16,912 --> 00:17:19,331
be saying this tonight,

753
00:17:19,373 --> 00:17:22,668
but to Barney and Robin,

754
00:17:19,373 --> 00:17:22,668
the happy couple.

755
00:17:22,710 --> 00:17:26,338
That was the moment

756
00:17:22,710 --> 00:17:26,338
we learned that relationships

757
00:17:22,710 --> 00:17:26,338
take hard work,

758
00:17:26,380 --> 00:17:27,756
but eventually,

759
00:17:26,380 --> 00:17:27,756
everything will work out.

760
00:17:27,798 --> 00:17:28,924
Hey.

761
00:17:27,798 --> 00:17:28,924
Hey.

762
00:17:28,966 --> 00:17:30,300
Where's Barney?

763
00:17:30,342 --> 00:17:32,053
Uh... We broke up.

764
00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:33,888
And that was

765
00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:33,888
the moment we unlearned

766
00:17:33,929 --> 00:17:36,849
that other lesson

767
00:17:33,929 --> 00:17:36,849
we had just learned

768
00:17:33,929 --> 00:17:36,849
a few seconds earlier.

769
00:17:36,891 --> 00:17:38,684
You see,

770
00:17:36,891 --> 00:17:38,684
earlier that night,

771
00:17:38,726 --> 00:17:41,103
when Lily thought Barney

772
00:17:38,726 --> 00:17:41,103
and Robin had spotted her,

773
00:17:41,145 --> 00:17:42,730
this is what

774
00:17:41,145 --> 00:17:42,730
they really saw.

775
00:17:45,399 --> 00:17:48,318
Why do that fat guy

776
00:17:45,399 --> 00:17:48,318
and old lady keep...

777
00:17:51,155 --> 00:17:54,533
Oh, my God. That's us.

778
00:17:54,575 --> 00:17:57,411
Look at us. Did we

779
00:17:54,575 --> 00:17:57,411
always look this awful?

780
00:18:00,372 --> 00:18:01,957
Robin, I'm not happy.

781
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,960
I mean, I wish I was.

782
00:18:05,002 --> 00:18:06,461
Nothing would

783
00:18:05,002 --> 00:18:06,461
make me happier

784
00:18:05,002 --> 00:18:06,461
than being happy,

785
00:18:07,713 --> 00:18:09,840
but I'm not.

786
00:18:09,882 --> 00:18:12,968
But what are

787
00:18:09,882 --> 00:18:12,968
we doing wrong?

788
00:18:09,882 --> 00:18:12,968
We love each other.

789
00:18:13,010 --> 00:18:15,470
I mean, if this

790
00:18:13,010 --> 00:18:15,470
doesn't work, what will?

791
00:18:15,512 --> 00:18:17,139
We're so similar.

792
00:18:17,181 --> 00:18:20,350
We both like scotch.

793
00:18:17,181 --> 00:18:20,350
We're both awesome.

794
00:18:20,392 --> 00:18:23,771
You know, maybe that's it.

795
00:18:20,392 --> 00:18:23,771
Maybe there's just too

796
00:18:20,392 --> 00:18:23,771
much awesome here.

797
00:18:23,812 --> 00:18:27,357
Exactly. Two awesomes

798
00:18:23,812 --> 00:18:27,357
cancel each other out.

799
00:18:29,151 --> 00:18:30,360
I'm tired of

800
00:18:29,151 --> 00:18:30,360
being canceled out.

801
00:18:31,445 --> 00:18:32,362
Me, too.

802
00:18:35,449 --> 00:18:36,366
Are we breaking up?

803
00:18:37,285 --> 00:18:38,493
I think so.

804
00:18:40,704 --> 00:18:44,708
Aw, crap.

805
00:18:40,704 --> 00:18:44,708
Now comes the next part,

806
00:18:44,750 --> 00:18:48,837
the part where you and I

807
00:18:44,750 --> 00:18:48,837
can't go back to being

808
00:18:44,750 --> 00:18:48,837
friends.

809
00:18:48,879 --> 00:18:52,633
Well, maybe

810
00:18:48,879 --> 00:18:52,633
this isn't a breakup.

811
00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:57,387
Maybe this

812
00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:57,387
is two friends

813
00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:57,387
getting back together.

814
00:19:01,225 --> 00:19:02,726
Robin?

815
00:19:02,768 --> 00:19:03,978
Hi.

816
00:19:04,019 --> 00:19:06,147
It's always so great

817
00:19:04,019 --> 00:19:06,147
to see a fellow hoser.

818
00:19:06,188 --> 00:19:08,316
Oh. Yes.

819
00:19:08,357 --> 00:19:12,027
Hi. Good news. I forgive you

820
00:19:08,357 --> 00:19:12,027
for the whole restraining

821
00:19:08,357 --> 00:19:12,027
order thing.

822
00:19:12,069 --> 00:19:13,904
Uh, hi.

823
00:19:13,946 --> 00:19:15,364
Was that

824
00:19:13,946 --> 00:19:15,364
a Stormtrooper?

825
00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:16,949
That's not a...

826
00:19:16,991 --> 00:19:19,451
You wanna

827
00:19:16,991 --> 00:19:19,451
get outta here?

828
00:19:16,991 --> 00:19:19,451
Yeah.

829
00:19:19,493 --> 00:19:20,452
Excuse me.

830
00:19:19,493 --> 00:19:20,452
See you, guys.

831
00:19:20,494 --> 00:19:21,495
Excuse me.

832
00:19:20,494 --> 00:19:21,495
Okay.

833
00:19:21,536 --> 00:19:24,456
See you, Alan.

834
00:19:21,536 --> 00:19:24,456
See you, Alan.

835
00:19:24,498 --> 00:19:26,458
So, you still

836
00:19:24,498 --> 00:19:26,458
on 73rd Street?

837
00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:27,668
How do you know that?

838
00:19:30,587 --> 00:19:34,383
Getting back together

839
00:19:30,587 --> 00:19:34,383
as friends. I like that.

840
00:19:34,424 --> 00:19:36,426
One more for the road?

841
00:19:43,309 --> 00:19:44,685
And, I mean, who knows,

842
00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:47,479
maybe when, like,

843
00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:47,479
you turn 40, if you

844
00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:47,479
haven't found anyone...

845
00:19:47,521 --> 00:19:49,231
I already have

846
00:19:47,521 --> 00:19:49,231
that deal with Ted.

847
00:19:49,273 --> 00:19:52,109
Oh! Right. Stupid.

848
00:19:52,151 --> 00:19:54,111
Well, maybe when you turn 39,

849
00:19:52,151 --> 00:19:54,111
if you haven't found anyone...

850
00:19:55,946 --> 00:19:57,739
It turns

851
00:19:55,946 --> 00:19:57,739
out that they really did

852
00:19:57,781 --> 00:20:00,492
just need to let

853
00:19:57,781 --> 00:20:00,492
things run their course.

854
00:20:00,534 --> 00:20:02,244
So, how's Barney doing?

855
00:20:02,286 --> 00:20:04,330
He's okay, I think.

856
00:20:04,372 --> 00:20:06,498
It might be a while before

857
00:20:04,372 --> 00:20:06,498
he fully recovers, but...

858
00:20:06,540 --> 00:20:07,749
Mmm.

859
00:20:07,791 --> 00:20:09,293
Did you guys

860
00:20:07,791 --> 00:20:09,293
just feel a chill?

861
00:20:09,335 --> 00:20:10,460
Yeah.

862
00:20:26,352 --> 00:20:27,561
Daddy's home.

863
00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:34,526
Well, Robin,

864
00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:34,526
I'm glad we could catch up.

865
00:20:34,568 --> 00:20:36,111
Yeah. Let's

866
00:20:34,568 --> 00:20:36,111
do it again soon.

867
00:20:36,153 --> 00:20:38,072
I love that you

868
00:20:36,153 --> 00:20:38,072
guys are still friends

869
00:20:38,113 --> 00:20:39,948
so long after you

870
00:20:38,113 --> 00:20:39,948
did that music video.

871
00:20:39,990 --> 00:20:41,700
Yeah.

872
00:20:39,990 --> 00:20:41,700
The music...

873
00:20:41,742 --> 00:20:46,038
The Sandcastles video.

874
00:20:41,742 --> 00:20:46,038
Yes, yes. We did that

875
00:20:41,742 --> 00:20:46,038
together, too.

876
00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:47,497
What do you mean "too"?

877
00:20:47,539 --> 00:20:50,542
Well, we had this failed

878
00:20:47,539 --> 00:20:50,542
Canadian TV variety show.

879
00:20:50,584 --> 00:20:52,836
That was so embarrassing.

880
00:20:52,878 --> 00:20:56,048
Imagine what would happen

881
00:20:52,878 --> 00:20:56,048
if anybody ever got their

882
00:20:52,878 --> 00:20:56,048
hands on that?

883
00:20:56,090 --> 00:20:58,092
Ooh! You.

884
00:21:33,627 --> 00:21:34,544
ENGLISH - US - LINE 21