Well,
got another one.
Oh, boy.
What's in the box?
Right?
Brad Pitt? Se7en?
Nothing?
Yeah, I'm the jerk.
What's in the box?
Well, ever since
Marshall and Lily
got their own place,
his mom keeps
sending them boxes
of his old stuff
she's trying
to get rid of.
Thanks, Mom.
You really nailed it
this time.
I really needed
He-Man's right arm,
and this old book
of mad libs.
"Fart went to the fart
to fart fartly."
That's nice.
That's good stuff.
That's good.
Thanks, Mom.
Hello.
Hello?
Ted Mosby?
Yeah.
The window is open.
The what?
The window is open.
What are you waiting for?
Run, Ted, run!
Lily, the window is open.
Make a hole, people.
Run, Ted, run!
Sorry.
Ted?
Hey.
Maggie. I was just,
you know...
How are you?
I'm fine, I guess.
Actually, no,
I'm not fine.
I just broke up
with my boyfriend.
I'm so sorry
to hear that.
No, it's...
Do you want to
hang out tonight?
Sure.
It was so fun.
You guys liked it.
It was the most...
Please tell me
you got in the window.
I got in the window.
What is going on?
What is the window?
You know how everyone has
that guy or girl who,
no matter what happens,
you always remember them
being the perfect one for you?
Mike Scharz.
Lily.
That girl right over there.
Well, that girl for me was
and still is Maggie Wilks.
We all went to
college together.
She was awesome.
Everybody loved her.
I think I know what
we're dealing with here.
Tell me when to stop.
It wasn't that Maggie
was hot. She was...
She was the ultimate
girl next door.
She was the ultimate
girl next door. Still is.
I mean, every guy
who meets Maggie falls
madly in love with her.
And that's the problem.
Since I've known her,
she's only been single
for, like, three brief
windows of opportunity.
When she moved here
and broke up with her
college boyfriend,
I waited a month.
You know, so I wouldn't be
the rebound guy.
Well, the rebound guy
lasted two years.
This is Dave.
After they broke up,
I only waited a week.
I was still too late.
She dated that guy
for three years.
The next time,
I wasn't messing around.
I was at her door
not one hour after
they broke up.
The only thing she did
between becoming single
and the moment
I got there,
was go downstairs
and check her mail.
I was still too late.
And she dated that guy
for four years.
I wasn't going to
let this happen again,
so I begged her neighbor,
Mrs. Douglas,
to call me the second
she and David broke up.
And now, a very single
and available Maggie Wilks
is on her way
to this very spot.
I sent a cab
with a female driver
so she'd have no other
interaction with a man
until she got to me.
Where she will still have
no interaction with a man.
What up?
I feel good tonight.
Tonight's going to be good.
Oh, hell, yeah!
It's my overalls.
I wore these babies
all throughout high school.
These were my jam.
God, you really were
a virgin before you
met Lily, weren't you?
Well, that's unnecessary.
Oh, she's right, baby.
If you had worn
these things in college,
even I wouldn't have
slept with you.
And, if you recall,
I was good to go.
No one, I mean,
no one could get
laid wearing these.
Challenge accepted.
I, Barney Stinson,
being of sound mind
and amazing body,
will wear these overalls
until I have sex
with a woman.
I actually
dated that guy.
Yeah.
Okay. Quick game plan.
Maggie shows up,
couple minutes
of hugs and "Hi's
and then everybody's
out of here.
This is my one shot.
I am not gonna screw
this up.
Who'd you get to
cover your class
tonight?
Crap!
Oh, my God!
Hey.
Oh, my goodness.
Hey, stranger.
Hey.
Maggie, this is my
roommate, Robin.
Hey.
Nice to meet you.
Nice
to meet you, too.
Um, I totally forgot
I have to teach
a class tonight.
Hey! Wanna come with me
and check out a real live
architecture class?
Not even a little bit.
You know,
I'll just hang here
with Marshall and Lily.
It'll be fun.
Fantastic.
Okay.
Well, have a seat. Relax.
Yeah, this is casual.
This is all very,
very, very casual.
Listen to me.
You want me to find
the perfect girl
so we can all grow old
together? That is her.
Do not let any guy
near her, okay?
That means
no waiter takes her order,
no busboy clears her table.
If she bursts into flames,
I want a fire woman
putting her out.
I don't think 911
takes requests.
Damn it, Marshall!
Whatever you have to do,
keep Maggie Wilks single
until I get back.
I left my tab open.
Don't abuse it.
Target secure?
Target secure.
Oh, my gosh.
How weird.
We all walked
out of the bathroom
at the same time.
Well, let's all walk back
to the booth together.
Oh, my.
Look at this, the table
where we are sitting.
Back off!
Okay, um, not that I care
about this challenge,
but it's cheating
to wear overalls
over a suit.
No, it's not.
They're not called
"over-T-shirts," Robin.
They're not called
"over shirtless fat guys
"who used to come
fix my mom's car
"and then hang out
with her upstairs
for a little while."
No. They're called
overalls, okay?
And I can wear them
over whatever I want.
Hey.
Oh, he's not saying hello,
he's just telling you
what he feeds his horsies.
Oh, man, I can sit here
and make
you-look-like-a-farmer jokes
all night.
Challenge accepted.
Good evening. Tonight,
we're gonna have a nice,
quick class on bridges.
There are six types
of bridges.
Beam, cantilever,
arch, suspension,
and two others.
You got land on both sides,
water in the middle.
See you all next week.
Hey, we get you
for the whole hour.
Oh, come on.
I mean, who really
wants to sit here
and listen to me
yap about bridges
for an hour?
Really?
I just thought about
how awesome Ted is again.
This is a weird
drinking game.
Can I buy you a drink?
He's got a big brown jug
with three X's on it.
What have I done?
One very important thing
to keep in mind
when designing a bridge...
Maggie?
Oh, no.
I mean, yes.
Yes, when you are
designing a bridge,
always remember,
"Make adjustments,
"go get it energized."
That's good advice
for life, too.
So, Professor Mosby,
is this Maggie
someone special?
No. I...
She's just this girl
I've been into for
a really long time,
and, well,
tonight could be
the one chance I have
to go out with her, so...
Is she a hottie?
Yes, Jamie.
She's very attractive.
And if we can just
end class right now...
Betty?
Maggie may finally
be available,
but what about you,
Professor Mosby?
Are you ready for
a serious relationship?
Totally.
I mean, I think so. Maybe.
I don't know.
What do you guys think?
Oh, my gosh.
I totally forgot
about this.
What is it?
It's a homework assignment
from when I was 15.
Write a letter
to your 30-year-old self
with a list of goals
you hope to achieve.
Um...
"Dear future me."
First off, you'd
better be driving either
a kick-ass Camaro
or The A-Team van.
That's priority
numero uno.
And by now your rat tail
should hang down
to your freaking knees.
You can still slam dunk,
obviously,
and you've legally
changed your name
to "Vanilla Thunder."
Your wife,
let me break it down,
blonde, six-feet tall,
has an awesome rack
and caters to your
every need.
Sorry, babe.
That's okay.
You just described
your mother.
Ew!
Keep going.
"You're still rocking..."
You're still rocking
the stone-washed overalls,
because this look
is working.
Oh, and most importantly,
you'd better be saving
the world.
If you became some lame
corporate sellout,
just throw yourself
off a cliff,
because you suck.
And I licky
boom-boom down.
Yeah, hilarious.
I became a lame
corporate sellout.
I work for GNB,
the most evil bank
in the history of the world.
Oh, come on,
Vanilla Thunder,
everyone's got to grow up
and get a real job.
Yeah, I remember
back in college
Maggie wanted to be
a marine biologist by day
and mentor inner-city kids
by night.
What did you
really end up doing?
Those things.
Baby, where are you going?
I just gotta...
I gotta do something at work.
It won't take long.
What's up with Marshall?
Oh, no. I think he's
going to quit his job.
I'm sorry, Maggie.
I gotta go stop him.
Ted, I had to leave the bar,
but it's okay.
I left Maggie with Robin.
You left Maggie with Robin?
Relax. I've got things
under control.
You don't understand
the situation.
This girl is like
a super-powered man magnet.
Oh, Teddy. I know
a little something
about man magnets.
You see,
your friend may be
one of those magnets
that can hold up a picture
of your kids on the fridge,
but I'm one of those
magnets that can pick up
cars in a junkyard.
Who's this?
Robin, this is Jim,
a good friend of mine
from work.
Oh, well, hello there.
Nice to meet you.
Oh, boy.
What does being
"ready" even mean?
I mean, I thought
I was "ready" last year.
I wound up getting
left at the altar.
I'll be honest, guys.
I'm a little scared.
Okay, Louis, then Betty.
We're all scared,
Professor Mosby.
Doesn't being scared
let you know you're on
to something important?
Yeah.
I mean, if you're not scared,
you're not taking a chance.
And if you're not
taking a chance,
then what the hell
are you doing?
Right?
I think you're ready, bro.
Jim, you are so funny.
Funny?
I think he's hilarious.
In fact, I laughed so hard,
I think I may have just
peed my pants.
I'd better take off.
I'm going to the opening
of that photography exhibit
that they were
talking about at work,
Les Chiens Erotiques.
I have an extra ticket
if you want to...
Me? I'd love to!
All right, I gotta go.
One last piece of advice.
Make adjustments...
Go get it energized!
Hello?
Ted, change of plans.
You left her
with Barney?
Ted, will you
take it easy?
I'm your bro.
You're an animal.
And even though
our bro-lationship
has suffered
its setbacks
in this area,
I assure you I will be
the perfect gentleman.
Oh. Thanks.
By the way,
I really like
those overalls.
You have 10 minutes
to get down here or
the window's closing.
10 minutes?
Yeah. Because we're bros.
While I was racing through
the streets of New York,
trying to get back
to the bar,
your Aunt Robin was
doing her best to keep
Jim away from Maggie.
Do you want to go back
to the bar and see if
Maggie's still there?
No way!
I love erotic dog photography.
Did you see the one
over there of the corgis
doing it people style?
I'll get us a taxi.
I just feel bad
leaving Maggie all alone.
No! Let's have
a glass of wine first.
Oh, man.
Look how filthy I am.
I am just a filthy,
filthy girl
who would totally
go to second base
with a guy
as a favor to a friend.
You like that?
I'm going to call Maggie,
see what she's doing.
Oh, God!
Maggie, Maggie, Maggie.
Give it a rest, jeez!
She's hanging out
with Ted tonight.
Ted? What about David?
They broke up.
Maggie's single?
That doesn't
sound familiar.
Uh...
Can I help
wipe that off?
Please?
I hate Barney Stinson!
Me, too!
Lily finally got to GNB,
but the place was deserted.
Hey, baby.
I thought you came here
to quit your job.
I forgot about the hoop.
Yeah. I thought
if I could just do
one thing in that letter,
I wouldn't feel like
such an old sellout,
so I came out here to dunk.
Did it make you
feel better?
I barely grazed
the bottom of the net,
and now my legs hurt so bad,
I can't even fall down.
Wow!
How could you?
Ted, I challenged myself
to get laid wearing overalls.
And if you stand in my way,
then you're letting
Barney win.
And you don't want that.
That smug son of a bitch
will never let us hear
the end of it.
Oh, thank God. Maggie...
Where do you think
you're going?
To tell that girl
I love her.
Get in line, bub.
Yeah. I'm going to
have sex with her,
then he's going to tell her
he's in love with her,
and then you can do
whatever you want.
Do we agree on the order?
Mister! You just missed out
on the night of your life.
The night of your life.
I've been in love with her
for five years.
I've been in love with her
for 12 years.
I've been in these overalls
for an hour and a half.
Hey, maybe you can't
dunk anymore,
but you've achieved
more in your 30 years
than that 15-year-old dweeb
could ever dream of.
You put yourself through
Columbia Law School.
You had the sense
to chop off that
stupid rat tail.
And you married
a smoking-hot chick
who looks nothing
like your mother.
I think that earns you
an entire foot closer
to dunking.
There you go,
Vanilla Thunder.
Step back.
Oh, baby.
How about instead of dunking,
we go up to your office,
and you lie very still
while I go bananas
all over you?
Could we
maybe instead just
do it right here?
Sure, baby.
She loves me!
But I chose her!
Guys! Guys! Guys,
we have to figure
this out.
We are dealing with
a very small window
of opportunity here.
Guys, let me assure you,
if you let me in there,
that window's
gonna open up again
in, like, 10 minutes.
Wait, where's Maggie?
She's gone.
What?
I sent her home.
You guys were like vultures
fighting over her.
Let her be single for once.
Jealous bitch!
Robin, how could you?
No, she's right.
Maggie deserves
some time to herself.
Nobody likes to be alone,
especially after a breakup,
but that's when we discover
who we really are
and what we really want.
She deserves that.
And kids, I meant that.
Which is why I'm not proud
of what happened next.
It's around the corner.
Hey. Maggie, sorry.
Class ran a little...
Who's this?
This is Adam.
And it's so crazy.
We grew up next door
to each other.
God, we haven't seen
each other since...
A long time.
Yeah.
And then
Maggie Wilks told us
the second-greatest
love story
I've ever heard.
I just moved to town
and I had to look her up.
I guess we've got a lot
of catching up to do.
Yeah. Yeah, of course.
So, kids,
I missed out on the
ultimate girl next door
to the guy next door.
Well, see you next time.
There was no "next time."
Maggie's window
never opened again.
Hey! Hey, I got it!
That country bar, Giddy-ups!
The overalls have
gotta work there.
Wingman me?
I don't want Giddy-ups.
I want that.
I forgot what it feels like
to chase the real thing,
but I think
I'm ready again.
Yeah.
Let me tell you
where I'm at.
I wanna have sex
with a girl so I can
take off these overalls.
Come on. Come on!
Ted, you gotta help me!
I gotta get these
damn things off!
MRS.
Hey there.
I just love
your overalls.
Dear 60-year-old Marshall.
By now you should be working
somewhere that's making
the world a better place.
Or at least trying to.
No pressure, dude.
I mean, sir.
Also, if time travel
is possible,
maybe you could
give me a little sign
on Tuesday, December 8th,
at 8:29 p.m.
So, someone sent back
these chicken wings,
because they were too hot.
And I'm like, "Too hot?
Are you crazy?"
So, free wings.
Old man Marshall,
as long as you're still
married to Lily,
you're doing just fine.
Sir, this is on us.
Sorry the wings
were so hot.
Oh, no, dear.
It wasn't that
they were too hot.
It's just that
I had wings earlier.
Much earlier.
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