1
00:00:01,913 --> 00:00:04,249
Kids,

2
00:00:01,913 --> 00:00:04,249
in many of my stories,

3
00:00:04,291 --> 00:00:06,459
I'm a starry-eyed romantic

4
00:00:04,291 --> 00:00:06,459
on a noble search for

5
00:00:04,291 --> 00:00:06,459
true love.

6
00:00:06,501 --> 00:00:09,504
In this one,

7
00:00:06,501 --> 00:00:09,504
I'm just a jerk.

8
00:00:09,545 --> 00:00:12,966
Well, guys,

9
00:00:09,545 --> 00:00:12,966
tonight is the night.

10
00:00:13,008 --> 00:00:17,095
I'm inviting Tiffany up to

11
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my place to see my antique

12
00:00:13,008 --> 00:00:17,095
camera collection.

13
00:00:17,137 --> 00:00:18,847
It's Ted's bait.

14
00:00:17,137 --> 00:00:18,847
Bait?

15
00:00:18,888 --> 00:00:21,516
A true gentleman

16
00:00:18,888 --> 00:00:21,516
invents a pretense to lure

17
00:00:21,557 --> 00:00:23,476
an honorable lady

18
00:00:21,557 --> 00:00:23,476
into his apartment,

19
00:00:23,518 --> 00:00:25,520
some item of

20
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interest or beauty

21
00:00:25,561 --> 00:00:27,480
you can both pretend

22
00:00:25,561 --> 00:00:27,480
to admire for five minutes

23
00:00:27,522 --> 00:00:29,607
before she hops

24
00:00:27,522 --> 00:00:29,607
on your disco stick.

25
00:00:29,649 --> 00:00:31,484
Right. She's coming

26
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up to borrow a book,

27
00:00:31,526 --> 00:00:33,486
or check out

28
00:00:31,526 --> 00:00:33,486
an album on vinyl.

29
00:00:33,528 --> 00:00:34,904
Or to see your

30
00:00:33,528 --> 00:00:34,904
new rap poster.

31
00:00:34,946 --> 00:00:38,367
Rap poster?

32
00:00:34,946 --> 00:00:38,367
Who would that work on?

33
00:00:38,408 --> 00:00:40,035
It was the

34
00:00:38,408 --> 00:00:40,035
first week of college.

35
00:00:40,076 --> 00:00:41,494
I was really

36
00:00:40,076 --> 00:00:41,494
into Wu-Tang Clan.

37
00:00:42,704 --> 00:00:44,497
Yeah, bait is tricky.

38
00:00:44,539 --> 00:00:47,458
It has to be something

39
00:00:44,539 --> 00:00:47,458
interesting enough

40
00:00:44,539 --> 00:00:47,458
to get the girl upstairs,

41
00:00:47,500 --> 00:00:49,919
but not so interesting

42
00:00:47,500 --> 00:00:49,919
that it overpowers

43
00:00:47,500 --> 00:00:49,919
the night.

44
00:00:49,961 --> 00:00:52,505
I found that

45
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a slot machine was

46
00:00:49,961 --> 00:00:52,505
too fun.

47
00:00:56,385 --> 00:00:59,846
And a trampoline turned

48
00:00:56,385 --> 00:00:59,846
out to be too dangerous.

49
00:01:01,556 --> 00:01:04,226
But then I found

50
00:01:01,556 --> 00:01:04,226
the perfect bait.

51
00:01:04,267 --> 00:01:05,935
A teacup pig.

52
00:01:05,977 --> 00:01:08,063
Oh...

53
00:01:08,104 --> 00:01:10,481
A teacup pig?

54
00:01:08,104 --> 00:01:10,481
Who's that working on?

55
00:01:10,523 --> 00:01:12,442
You have a teacup pig?

56
00:01:10,523 --> 00:01:12,442
You have a teacup pig?

57
00:01:12,483 --> 00:01:14,736
Can we see the teacup pig?

58
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Can I borrow

59
00:01:14,777 --> 00:01:15,820
your teacup pig?

60
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Yes, you can

61
00:01:15,862 --> 00:01:17,447
borrow my teacup pig.

62
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You have a teacup pig?

63
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Oh, my gosh,

64
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I can't believe

65
00:01:19,199 --> 00:01:21,117
you have a teacup pig.

66
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You're just so cute.

67
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Yes, you are

68
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the cutest piggy ever.

69
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What?

70
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Were you always this pretty?

71
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Or are you gonna give me

72
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that whole

73
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"Oh, in high school, I was

74
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really shy and awkward" line?

75
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I was shy and awkward.

76
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I was like 100 pounds heavier

77
00:01:33,588 --> 00:01:36,549
and I had these crazy

78
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buck teeth.

79
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Seriously?

80
00:01:36,591 --> 00:01:38,593
No.

81
00:01:38,634 --> 00:01:41,388
I've always been hot.

82
00:01:38,634 --> 00:01:41,388
What are you gonna do?

83
00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:47,060
Do you know who else

84
00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:47,060
would love this teacup pig?

85
00:01:47,102 --> 00:01:48,603
Hmm.

86
00:01:48,644 --> 00:01:49,520
My boyfriend.

87
00:02:04,953 --> 00:02:06,788
You have a boyfriend?

88
00:02:06,829 --> 00:02:11,000
I know. So annoying, right?

89
00:02:06,829 --> 00:02:11,000
I mean, he's not really

90
00:02:06,829 --> 00:02:11,000
my boyfriend.

91
00:02:11,042 --> 00:02:12,585
Oh, good.

92
00:02:12,627 --> 00:02:15,130
I mean,

93
00:02:12,627 --> 00:02:15,130
technically,

94
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he kind of is.

95
00:02:15,171 --> 00:02:16,589
Well, is he or isn't he?

96
00:02:16,631 --> 00:02:20,260
Some of both, but

97
00:02:16,631 --> 00:02:20,260
definitely not neither.

98
00:02:20,302 --> 00:02:21,677
Are you getting any of this?

99
00:02:22,637 --> 00:02:25,848
Look, I really like you.

100
00:02:25,890 --> 00:02:30,270
I just need you to be patient.

101
00:02:25,890 --> 00:02:30,270
I don't want to lose you,

102
00:02:25,890 --> 00:02:30,270
big brown eyes.

103
00:02:33,148 --> 00:02:37,860
Yep. Somebody doesn't

104
00:02:33,148 --> 00:02:37,860
want to lose "big brown eyes."

105
00:02:37,902 --> 00:02:41,281
Oh, Ted.

106
00:02:37,902 --> 00:02:41,281
She's got you on the hook.

107
00:02:41,323 --> 00:02:43,408
What? What?

108
00:02:41,323 --> 00:02:43,408
I'm not on the hook.

109
00:02:43,450 --> 00:02:45,452
Oh, you are

110
00:02:43,450 --> 00:02:45,452
totally on the hook.

111
00:02:45,494 --> 00:02:48,246
She's stringing you along,

112
00:02:45,494 --> 00:02:48,246
but she's not committing

113
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to you,

114
00:02:48,288 --> 00:02:50,415
but she's keeping

115
00:02:48,288 --> 00:02:50,415
you around, just in case,

116
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like an old can

117
00:02:50,457 --> 00:02:53,251
of chili in the pantry.

118
00:02:53,293 --> 00:02:56,421
Um... Who's buying

119
00:02:53,293 --> 00:02:56,421
canned chili and not

120
00:02:53,293 --> 00:02:56,421
eating it immediately?

121
00:02:56,463 --> 00:02:59,257
Amen, sister.

122
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But, Ted,

123
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don't feel bad.

124
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We've all been there.

125
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I've been on

126
00:03:00,842 --> 00:03:02,385
both sides of it.

127
00:03:02,427 --> 00:03:04,595
I've been a hookee

128
00:03:02,427 --> 00:03:04,595
and a hooker.

129
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Move past it, guys.

130
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I've been a little bit loose,

131
00:03:04,637 --> 00:03:07,807
but money never changed hands.

132
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I've been on the hook.

133
00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:16,358
Lisa Walker. Picture it.

134
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1994, St. Cloud, Minnesota.

135
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So, I was,

136
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like, thinking, Lisa,

137
00:03:21,863 --> 00:03:24,699
do you maybe want to,

138
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like, go out with me?

139
00:03:26,326 --> 00:03:28,537
That sounds great.

140
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But I'm sort of

141
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seeing this guy.

142
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He's got

143
00:03:30,497 --> 00:03:32,665
a LeBaron convertible

144
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and an in at the roller rink,

145
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so I'd hate to

146
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burn that bridge.

147
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I understand.

148
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But how about this?

149
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You can be my secret boyfriend

150
00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:43,426
who does all my homework

151
00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:43,426
for me.

152
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All right.

153
00:03:49,516 --> 00:03:51,017
You want to

154
00:03:49,516 --> 00:03:51,017
see my rap poster?

155
00:03:51,893 --> 00:03:54,103
Poster whore!

156
00:03:54,145 --> 00:03:57,690
Anyway, Lisa Walker

157
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strung me along for months

158
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until, one night, I went

159
00:03:57,732 --> 00:04:02,612
to go tell her how much

160
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I loved her,

161
00:04:03,488 --> 00:04:04,614
in song.

162
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She wasn't

163
00:04:06,449 --> 00:04:08,659
home yet, so I waited.

164
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And waited.

165
00:04:14,832 --> 00:04:18,169
I woke up

166
00:04:14,832 --> 00:04:18,169
four hours later

167
00:04:14,832 --> 00:04:18,169
covered in snow,

168
00:04:18,211 --> 00:04:19,670
and that's when I saw it,

169
00:04:21,506 --> 00:04:23,466
Lisa's footsteps.

170
00:04:23,508 --> 00:04:26,677
She had walked right over me

171
00:04:23,508 --> 00:04:26,677
and into the house.

172
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It was the best thing

173
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that could've happened.

174
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It got me off her hook.

175
00:04:31,641 --> 00:04:33,851
Okay, that is definitely not

176
00:04:31,641 --> 00:04:33,851
what's going on with me

177
00:04:31,641 --> 00:04:33,851
and Tiffany.

178
00:04:33,893 --> 00:04:34,685
Listen to this.

179
00:04:35,645 --> 00:04:38,814
I'm really into you.

180
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I just can't be

181
00:04:38,856 --> 00:04:41,692
with you right now.

182
00:04:42,777 --> 00:04:45,196
Eh? Eh?

183
00:04:45,238 --> 00:04:48,741
Ted, "right now" is the

184
00:04:45,238 --> 00:04:48,741
classic on-the-hook

185
00:04:45,238 --> 00:04:48,741
catchphrase.

186
00:04:48,783 --> 00:04:50,701
Yep. "Right now"

187
00:04:48,783 --> 00:04:50,701
paints a picture of

188
00:04:50,743 --> 00:04:52,787
some sort of

189
00:04:50,743 --> 00:04:52,787
magical future time

190
00:04:50,743 --> 00:04:52,787
when everything will work out.

191
00:04:52,828 --> 00:04:56,374
But the truth is

192
00:04:52,828 --> 00:04:56,374
that will never happen.

193
00:04:56,416 --> 00:04:58,751
It's like this,

194
00:04:56,416 --> 00:04:58,751
"I can't be with you."

195
00:04:58,793 --> 00:05:01,463
Boom! "Right now."

196
00:05:04,882 --> 00:05:07,051
Yeah, I think my

197
00:05:04,882 --> 00:05:07,051
high school boyfriend,

198
00:05:07,093 --> 00:05:08,761
Scooter, is still

199
00:05:07,093 --> 00:05:08,761
sort of on the

200
00:05:07,093 --> 00:05:08,761
hook for me.

201
00:05:08,803 --> 00:05:11,097
Sort of? He totally is.

202
00:05:11,139 --> 00:05:13,766
The poor guy showed up at

203
00:05:11,139 --> 00:05:13,766
our wedding hoping to win

204
00:05:11,139 --> 00:05:13,766
you back.

205
00:05:13,808 --> 00:05:16,811
Yeah. It's still sometimes

206
00:05:13,808 --> 00:05:16,811
weird when I see him at work.

207
00:05:16,852 --> 00:05:19,772
Wait, what?

208
00:05:19,814 --> 00:05:21,857
Scooter works in

209
00:05:19,814 --> 00:05:21,857
the school cafeteria.

210
00:05:19,814 --> 00:05:21,857
We've talked about this.

211
00:05:23,234 --> 00:05:26,154
Hey, Lily.

212
00:05:23,234 --> 00:05:26,154
Nice dress. Tater Tots?

213
00:05:26,195 --> 00:05:27,489
I love you.

214
00:05:29,824 --> 00:05:32,661
We most certainly

215
00:05:29,824 --> 00:05:32,661
have not talked about this!

216
00:05:32,702 --> 00:05:35,288
Yes, we have.

217
00:05:32,702 --> 00:05:35,288
I've mentioned

218
00:05:32,702 --> 00:05:35,288
it tons of times.

219
00:05:35,330 --> 00:05:37,624
Lunch lady Scooter.

220
00:05:37,666 --> 00:05:41,043
I thought that you

221
00:05:37,666 --> 00:05:41,043
were referring to some

222
00:05:37,666 --> 00:05:41,043
sort of long overdue device

223
00:05:41,085 --> 00:05:44,797
that carries

224
00:05:41,085 --> 00:05:44,797
around those poor,

225
00:05:41,085 --> 00:05:44,797
underappreciated lunch ladies.

226
00:05:44,839 --> 00:05:47,425
This explains a lot.

227
00:05:47,467 --> 00:05:49,594
Lunch lady Scooter

228
00:05:47,467 --> 00:05:49,594
was there again today.

229
00:05:49,636 --> 00:05:53,181
Yeah, did you jump on

230
00:05:49,636 --> 00:05:53,181
that thing? Give it a ride?

231
00:05:53,222 --> 00:05:55,057
No!

232
00:05:53,222 --> 00:05:55,057
Really?

233
00:05:55,099 --> 00:05:57,143
If it were me,

234
00:05:55,099 --> 00:05:57,143
I'd be riding that

235
00:05:55,099 --> 00:05:57,143
scooter all day long

236
00:05:57,185 --> 00:06:00,813
until I broke

237
00:05:57,185 --> 00:06:00,813
that thing in half.

238
00:06:00,855 --> 00:06:04,025
So those poor women

239
00:06:00,855 --> 00:06:04,025
still have to walk

240
00:06:00,855 --> 00:06:04,025
everywhere?

241
00:06:04,066 --> 00:06:06,819
Wait, Scooter is

242
00:06:04,066 --> 00:06:06,819
working at your school?

243
00:06:06,861 --> 00:06:09,030
Are you jealous?

244
00:06:09,071 --> 00:06:11,658
No, I just feel

245
00:06:09,071 --> 00:06:11,658
bad for Scooter.

246
00:06:11,700 --> 00:06:14,035
'Cause the only reason he took

247
00:06:11,700 --> 00:06:14,035
that job is he thinks he has

248
00:06:11,700 --> 00:06:14,035
a shot with you.

249
00:06:14,076 --> 00:06:17,246
You have to make it

250
00:06:14,076 --> 00:06:17,246
clear that he doesn't

251
00:06:14,076 --> 00:06:17,246
so that he can move on,

252
00:06:17,288 --> 00:06:20,041
and a real lunch lady

253
00:06:17,288 --> 00:06:20,041
can get her job back.

254
00:06:17,288 --> 00:06:20,041
Damn!

255
00:06:20,082 --> 00:06:22,669
I've tried.

256
00:06:22,711 --> 00:06:25,672
Hey, Lily.

257
00:06:22,711 --> 00:06:25,672
I saw you have

258
00:06:22,711 --> 00:06:25,672
seventh period free.

259
00:06:25,714 --> 00:06:29,425
So do I. You want

260
00:06:25,714 --> 00:06:29,425
to run away together?

261
00:06:29,467 --> 00:06:34,805
Let me be clear, Scooter,

262
00:06:29,467 --> 00:06:34,805
there's no way you and I

263
00:06:29,467 --> 00:06:34,805
can ever be together.

264
00:06:43,648 --> 00:06:45,149
Right now.

265
00:06:45,191 --> 00:06:47,818
I'll see you tomorrow, Lily.

266
00:06:45,191 --> 00:06:47,818
It's Tijuana Tuesday.

267
00:06:49,696 --> 00:06:50,697
"Right now"?

268
00:06:51,989 --> 00:06:54,450
You "right nowed" Scooter?

269
00:06:54,492 --> 00:06:56,578
You need to let Scooter

270
00:06:54,492 --> 00:06:56,578
off the hook once and

271
00:06:54,492 --> 00:06:56,578
for all.

272
00:06:56,619 --> 00:06:58,120
You're right.

273
00:06:56,619 --> 00:06:58,120
Day after tomorrow,

274
00:06:58,162 --> 00:06:59,914
that's exactly

275
00:06:58,162 --> 00:06:59,914
what I'm gonna do.

276
00:06:59,955 --> 00:07:01,207
Why not tomorrow?

277
00:07:01,249 --> 00:07:03,834
Baby, I can't

278
00:07:01,249 --> 00:07:03,834
ruin Tijuana Tuesday.

279
00:07:06,921 --> 00:07:10,425
Really? You're really gonna

280
00:07:06,921 --> 00:07:10,425
sit here all night watching

281
00:07:06,921 --> 00:07:10,425
the door

282
00:07:10,466 --> 00:07:13,219
because Tiffany said

283
00:07:10,466 --> 00:07:13,219
she'll "try to stop by"?

284
00:07:13,261 --> 00:07:15,888
Barney, I'm not gonna just

285
00:07:13,261 --> 00:07:15,888
give up on her.

286
00:07:15,930 --> 00:07:18,474
I should've

287
00:07:15,930 --> 00:07:18,474
given up on her.

288
00:07:18,516 --> 00:07:20,142
This girl is special.

289
00:07:20,184 --> 00:07:21,394
She was the devil.

290
00:07:22,895 --> 00:07:24,980
Things are gonna

291
00:07:22,895 --> 00:07:24,980
work out with Tiffany.

292
00:07:25,022 --> 00:07:26,441
No, they're not, dumb-ass!

293
00:07:28,025 --> 00:07:31,112
Ted, let me be clear,

294
00:07:28,025 --> 00:07:31,112
this girl is a poison

295
00:07:31,153 --> 00:07:33,782
and you need to cut her

296
00:07:31,153 --> 00:07:33,782
out of your life forever.

297
00:07:35,575 --> 00:07:36,951
Hey, there she is.

298
00:07:39,954 --> 00:07:41,831
Oh, she brought

299
00:07:39,954 --> 00:07:41,831
some of her co-workers.

300
00:07:46,711 --> 00:07:49,880
Hang on to this girl, Ted.

301
00:07:46,711 --> 00:07:49,880
Hang on to her and never

302
00:07:46,711 --> 00:07:49,880
let go!

303
00:07:56,053 --> 00:07:58,264
Ted, these are some of the

304
00:07:56,053 --> 00:07:58,264
hottest girls I've ever seen.

305
00:07:58,306 --> 00:07:59,974
And they all

306
00:07:58,306 --> 00:07:59,974
work with Tiffany?

307
00:08:00,015 --> 00:08:01,100
Yep.

308
00:08:01,142 --> 00:08:04,312
There can only be

309
00:08:01,142 --> 00:08:04,312
one explanation

310
00:08:01,142 --> 00:08:04,312
for this.

311
00:08:04,353 --> 00:08:09,942
Ted, is

312
00:08:04,353 --> 00:08:09,942
Tiffany a

313
00:08:04,353 --> 00:08:09,942
pharmaceutical sales rep?

314
00:08:09,984 --> 00:08:11,360
Yeah. How did you know that?

315
00:08:11,402 --> 00:08:13,070
And you never

316
00:08:11,402 --> 00:08:13,070
thought to mention that?

317
00:08:14,489 --> 00:08:15,948
What? It's just a job.

318
00:08:15,990 --> 00:08:19,869
Just a...

319
00:08:15,990 --> 00:08:19,869
Just a...

320
00:08:20,995 --> 00:08:21,954
What?

321
00:08:21,996 --> 00:08:23,790
Ted, throughout time,

322
00:08:23,832 --> 00:08:25,958
there has always been

323
00:08:23,832 --> 00:08:25,958
one cutting-edge profession

324
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,961
to which hot girls,

325
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,961
like Tiffany, have flocked.

326
00:08:29,003 --> 00:08:30,171
Shall I walk you

327
00:08:29,003 --> 00:08:30,171
through the history?

328
00:08:30,212 --> 00:08:31,964
I'm gonna explicitly say no.

329
00:08:32,006 --> 00:08:34,425
It all started

330
00:08:32,006 --> 00:08:34,425
2.5 million years ago.

331
00:08:35,593 --> 00:08:37,178
Man was a hunter.

332
00:08:37,219 --> 00:08:40,973
So the hottest profession

333
00:08:37,219 --> 00:08:40,973
of the day? Gatherer.

334
00:08:41,015 --> 00:08:43,058
Homo erectus, indeed.

335
00:08:46,813 --> 00:08:50,775
As man mastered technology,

336
00:08:46,813 --> 00:08:50,775
the hottest profession of

337
00:08:46,813 --> 00:08:50,775
the day evolved.

338
00:08:50,817 --> 00:08:52,109
I'm pretty sure

339
00:08:50,817 --> 00:08:52,109
it's a hernia.

340
00:08:52,151 --> 00:08:53,235
Can you check again?

341
00:08:57,782 --> 00:09:00,451
And then man

342
00:08:57,782 --> 00:09:00,451
took to the skies.

343
00:09:00,493 --> 00:09:03,913
And so hot women

344
00:09:00,493 --> 00:09:03,913
put on high heels

345
00:09:00,493 --> 00:09:03,913
and became stewardesses.

346
00:09:05,998 --> 00:09:07,709
I am in the upright

347
00:09:05,998 --> 00:09:07,709
and locked position.

348
00:09:12,046 --> 00:09:15,007
And then man said,

349
00:09:12,046 --> 00:09:15,007
"Life is hard.

350
00:09:15,049 --> 00:09:17,593
"I should

351
00:09:15,049 --> 00:09:17,593
start taking lots

352
00:09:15,049 --> 00:09:17,593
of prescription drugs."

353
00:09:17,635 --> 00:09:20,012
And so,

354
00:09:17,635 --> 00:09:20,012
hot girls rolled

355
00:09:17,635 --> 00:09:20,012
into doctors' offices,

356
00:09:20,054 --> 00:09:22,181
looking sexy enough to render

357
00:09:22,223 --> 00:09:24,600
the very erection

358
00:09:22,223 --> 00:09:24,600
pills they peddled

359
00:09:22,223 --> 00:09:24,600
ironically redundant.

360
00:09:24,642 --> 00:09:28,270
So, now, pharma girls are

361
00:09:24,642 --> 00:09:28,270
today's hottest profession.

362
00:09:30,064 --> 00:09:31,982
Hey, big brown eyes!

363
00:09:30,064 --> 00:09:31,982
How are you doing?

364
00:09:32,775 --> 00:09:35,027
I'm good.

365
00:09:35,069 --> 00:09:37,988
Hey, by the way, you ditch

366
00:09:35,069 --> 00:09:37,988
that loser boyfriend yet?

367
00:09:38,030 --> 00:09:39,156
No, sir.

368
00:09:42,827 --> 00:09:44,704
Touched my nose.

369
00:09:44,746 --> 00:09:50,042
Dude, ditch Tiffany

370
00:09:44,746 --> 00:09:50,042
and join the Barnacle in

371
00:09:44,746 --> 00:09:50,042
a pharma girl free-for-all!

372
00:09:50,084 --> 00:09:52,503
Side effects may include

373
00:09:50,084 --> 00:09:52,503
loss of clothing, rug burn,

374
00:09:52,545 --> 00:09:54,839
shortness of breath and sore

375
00:09:52,545 --> 00:09:54,839
abdominals the next morning.

376
00:09:54,881 --> 00:09:56,591
What in the world is up?

377
00:09:59,969 --> 00:10:05,391
Hey, so, I know that

378
00:09:59,969 --> 00:10:05,391
you've been having trouble

379
00:09:59,969 --> 00:10:05,391
letting Scooter off the hook.

380
00:10:05,433 --> 00:10:07,518
I decided what

381
00:10:05,433 --> 00:10:07,518
you need is practice.

382
00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:09,979
Now, you say

383
00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:09,979
the problem is

384
00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:09,979
his cute, sad eyes?

385
00:10:11,105 --> 00:10:12,022
Well...

386
00:10:19,154 --> 00:10:20,615
All right, shut it, woman.

387
00:10:20,656 --> 00:10:24,493
Now, I want you to

388
00:10:20,656 --> 00:10:24,493
look at this teacup pig,

389
00:10:24,535 --> 00:10:27,789
and tell him that there's

390
00:10:24,535 --> 00:10:27,789
no way that you could

391
00:10:24,535 --> 00:10:27,789
ever be with him.

392
00:10:31,208 --> 00:10:36,547
Teacup pig,

393
00:10:31,208 --> 00:10:36,547
there is no way I

394
00:10:31,208 --> 00:10:36,547
can ever be with you.

395
00:10:40,259 --> 00:10:41,385
Oh...

396
00:10:45,389 --> 00:10:46,724
Right now.

397
00:10:46,766 --> 00:10:48,100
Oh, come on, grow a pair!

398
00:10:48,142 --> 00:10:52,271
I'm sorry. But he's

399
00:10:48,142 --> 00:10:52,271
just so freaking cute.

400
00:10:52,313 --> 00:10:56,484
I just want to cuddle him

401
00:10:52,313 --> 00:10:56,484
all day long. Yes, I do.

402
00:10:56,525 --> 00:10:59,278
You know, it's funny,

403
00:10:56,525 --> 00:10:59,278
I remember when you used to

404
00:10:56,525 --> 00:10:59,278
say things like that about me.

405
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:00,529
Well, I still do.

406
00:11:00,571 --> 00:11:02,657
Yeah. Not as much, Lily.

407
00:11:04,199 --> 00:11:05,576
Not as much.

408
00:11:08,579 --> 00:11:10,289
like a pharma girl party

409
00:11:12,166 --> 00:11:14,794
Dude, I've already hooked up

410
00:11:12,166 --> 00:11:14,794
with three of them.

411
00:11:14,836 --> 00:11:17,964
Fantazmo. Plus,

412
00:11:14,836 --> 00:11:17,964
my cholesterol is down,

413
00:11:18,006 --> 00:11:19,131
my Restless Leg

414
00:11:18,006 --> 00:11:19,131
Syndrome is cured.

415
00:11:19,173 --> 00:11:20,633
I've never felt

416
00:11:19,173 --> 00:11:20,633
more alive! Ooh.

417
00:11:22,343 --> 00:11:23,928
Guys, great news!

418
00:11:23,970 --> 00:11:25,554
Tiffany broke up

419
00:11:23,970 --> 00:11:25,554
with her boyfriend.

420
00:11:25,596 --> 00:11:27,097
Proof that I am

421
00:11:25,596 --> 00:11:27,097
not on the hook.

422
00:11:27,139 --> 00:11:28,557
Oh, you're still on the hook.

423
00:11:28,599 --> 00:11:31,769
Uh-uh. Listen to

424
00:11:28,599 --> 00:11:31,769
how we spent last night.

425
00:11:31,811 --> 00:11:33,562
First, we cuddled.

426
00:11:36,024 --> 00:11:40,152
Then, we shared

427
00:11:36,024 --> 00:11:40,152
chocolate cake.

428
00:11:40,194 --> 00:11:43,990
Then, well, I don't usually

429
00:11:40,194 --> 00:11:43,990
join in on locker room talk,

430
00:11:44,032 --> 00:11:46,826
but I gave her

431
00:11:44,032 --> 00:11:46,826
a pretty sensual foot rub.

432
00:11:49,662 --> 00:11:52,748
And, let me guess, it didn't

433
00:11:49,662 --> 00:11:52,748
go any further than that.

434
00:11:54,208 --> 00:11:56,002
Well, no, but...

435
00:11:56,044 --> 00:11:58,420
And, tell me,

436
00:11:56,044 --> 00:11:58,420
did you by any chance

437
00:11:56,044 --> 00:11:58,420
make that chocolate cake?

438
00:12:00,381 --> 00:12:02,299
It was a mix.

439
00:12:00,381 --> 00:12:02,299
Dude.

440
00:12:02,341 --> 00:12:04,593
There's no shame

441
00:12:02,341 --> 00:12:04,593
in admitting it, Ted.

442
00:12:04,635 --> 00:12:06,470
We've all been

443
00:12:04,635 --> 00:12:06,470
on people's hooks,

444
00:12:06,512 --> 00:12:08,764
and we've all

445
00:12:06,512 --> 00:12:08,764
kept someone on a hook.

446
00:12:08,806 --> 00:12:10,892
Um, I most

447
00:12:08,806 --> 00:12:10,892
certainly have not.

448
00:12:10,933 --> 00:12:13,895
What? Are you joking?

449
00:12:10,933 --> 00:12:13,895
What?

450
00:12:13,936 --> 00:12:17,732
What about that girl from the

451
00:12:13,936 --> 00:12:17,732
university library, Henrietta?

452
00:12:17,773 --> 00:12:19,775
Henrietta and I

453
00:12:17,773 --> 00:12:19,775
are just friends.

454
00:12:19,817 --> 00:12:22,152
Oh, she is so on your hook.

455
00:12:22,194 --> 00:12:23,988
Absolutely not!

456
00:12:24,030 --> 00:12:25,531
She totally was.

457
00:12:25,573 --> 00:12:28,283
I mean, we cuddled.

458
00:12:28,325 --> 00:12:31,328
Ah!

459
00:12:31,370 --> 00:12:32,914
We shared chocolate cake.

460
00:12:32,955 --> 00:12:34,415
Mmm, it's good.

461
00:12:35,290 --> 00:12:37,085
She gave me foot rubs.

462
00:12:37,126 --> 00:12:39,294
Long ones.

463
00:12:37,126 --> 00:12:39,294
I'm not proud, kids.

464
00:12:41,005 --> 00:12:42,590
You like having

465
00:12:41,005 --> 00:12:42,590
Henrietta around

466
00:12:42,631 --> 00:12:44,926
for the same reason

467
00:12:42,631 --> 00:12:44,926
that Tiffany likes

468
00:12:42,631 --> 00:12:44,926
having you around.

469
00:12:44,967 --> 00:12:46,969
It's a nice

470
00:12:44,967 --> 00:12:46,969
little ego boost.

471
00:12:47,011 --> 00:12:50,222
No wonder you're

472
00:12:47,011 --> 00:12:50,222
such an expert about

473
00:12:47,011 --> 00:12:50,222
keeping people on the hook.

474
00:12:50,264 --> 00:12:52,600
What about that

475
00:12:50,264 --> 00:12:52,600
poor camera guy

476
00:12:50,264 --> 00:12:52,600
you work with?

477
00:12:52,641 --> 00:12:54,102
Mike and I

478
00:12:52,641 --> 00:12:54,102
are just friends.

479
00:12:54,143 --> 00:12:55,811
Come on!

480
00:12:55,853 --> 00:13:00,232
Mmm! Oh!

481
00:12:55,853 --> 00:13:00,232
Yeah, that's the stuff.

482
00:13:00,274 --> 00:13:04,236
Robin, have you

483
00:13:00,274 --> 00:13:04,236
ever thought about

484
00:13:00,274 --> 00:13:04,236
taking us to the next level?

485
00:13:04,278 --> 00:13:06,906
Well, if you're talking about

486
00:13:04,278 --> 00:13:06,906
doing my laundry,

487
00:13:04,278 --> 00:13:06,906
I'm on board.

488
00:13:06,948 --> 00:13:10,200
You got yourself a deal.

489
00:13:06,948 --> 00:13:10,200
Mmm.

490
00:13:10,242 --> 00:13:12,578
What! I am not

491
00:13:10,242 --> 00:13:12,578
keeping Mike on the hook!

492
00:13:12,620 --> 00:13:14,455
You are Captain Hook!

493
00:13:14,496 --> 00:13:18,960
Uh, dude, I'm a girl.

494
00:13:14,496 --> 00:13:18,960
Okay, our girl parts

495
00:13:14,496 --> 00:13:18,960
are like a spider web.

496
00:13:19,001 --> 00:13:20,210
Sometimes you're gonna

497
00:13:19,001 --> 00:13:20,210
catch stuff you don't want.

498
00:13:21,545 --> 00:13:23,923
That doesn't make it okay.

499
00:13:23,965 --> 00:13:27,135
Oh, and Henrietta's in no way

500
00:13:23,965 --> 00:13:27,135
wasting her time with

501
00:13:23,965 --> 00:13:27,135
you, right?

502
00:13:27,176 --> 00:13:29,261
Henrietta knows

503
00:13:27,176 --> 00:13:29,261
that we're just friends.

504
00:13:29,303 --> 00:13:33,057
In fact, I'm gonna call her up

505
00:13:29,303 --> 00:13:33,057
and hang out with her tonight

506
00:13:29,303 --> 00:13:33,057
as friends.

507
00:13:34,349 --> 00:13:35,267
Hey, Ted.

508
00:13:34,349 --> 00:13:35,267
Hey.

509
00:13:35,309 --> 00:13:36,685
I love you.

510
00:13:36,727 --> 00:13:38,270
What? Do you

511
00:13:36,727 --> 00:13:38,270
want a foot massage?

512
00:13:38,312 --> 00:13:40,272
'Cause I've been

513
00:13:38,312 --> 00:13:40,272
practicing on myself.

514
00:13:40,314 --> 00:13:41,273
No, I'm good.

515
00:13:41,315 --> 00:13:43,358
Okay.

516
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,319
I didn't know if you were

517
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,319
hungry, so I just threw

518
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,319
together some...

519
00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:47,362
It's not a big deal.

520
00:13:47,404 --> 00:13:49,740
Kids, looking back,

521
00:13:47,404 --> 00:13:49,740
I don't know how I didn't see

522
00:13:49,782 --> 00:13:51,742
that Henrietta was

523
00:13:49,782 --> 00:13:51,742
madly in love with me.

524
00:13:55,245 --> 00:13:56,705
Hello?

525
00:13:55,245 --> 00:13:56,705
Hey, Ted.

526
00:13:56,747 --> 00:13:58,791
Hey, Tiffany.

527
00:13:58,833 --> 00:14:00,542
I'm going out

528
00:13:58,833 --> 00:14:00,542
of town this weekend

529
00:13:58,833 --> 00:14:00,542
for my friend's wedding.

530
00:14:00,584 --> 00:14:02,461
Want to be my date?

531
00:14:02,503 --> 00:14:04,922
I would love to. Hey,

532
00:14:02,503 --> 00:14:04,922
what are you doing

533
00:14:02,503 --> 00:14:04,922
right now?

534
00:14:04,964 --> 00:14:06,841
Oh, God, no.

535
00:14:06,882 --> 00:14:09,510
Awesome. Okay,

536
00:14:06,882 --> 00:14:09,510
I'll see you in,

537
00:14:06,882 --> 00:14:09,510
like, 10 minutes?

538
00:14:09,551 --> 00:14:11,512
Great.

539
00:14:11,553 --> 00:14:15,349
Sorry, Henrietta.

540
00:14:11,553 --> 00:14:15,349
Something came up.

541
00:14:11,553 --> 00:14:15,349
Take a rain check, pal?

542
00:14:15,390 --> 00:14:16,350
Yeah, it's no problem.

543
00:14:16,391 --> 00:14:17,518
All right. Hey, ho.

544
00:14:17,559 --> 00:14:19,311
Oh! You're strong.

545
00:14:19,353 --> 00:14:20,604
What a jerk!

546
00:14:22,356 --> 00:14:24,316
Henrietta, I...

547
00:14:24,358 --> 00:14:25,943
Wait, where did Ted go?

548
00:14:25,985 --> 00:14:27,319
I thought

549
00:14:25,985 --> 00:14:27,319
we were finally

550
00:14:25,985 --> 00:14:27,319
gonna get to meet him?

551
00:14:27,361 --> 00:14:30,322
Yeah, something came up,

552
00:14:27,361 --> 00:14:30,322
okay, Mom?

553
00:14:30,364 --> 00:14:31,907
I told you

554
00:14:30,364 --> 00:14:31,907
there was no Ted.

555
00:14:31,949 --> 00:14:33,283
I heard that!

556
00:14:38,539 --> 00:14:41,167
So there I was,

557
00:14:41,209 --> 00:14:43,335
at one of the surest signs

558
00:14:41,209 --> 00:14:43,335
of taking a relationship

559
00:14:41,209 --> 00:14:43,335
to the next level,

560
00:14:43,377 --> 00:14:46,296
an out-of-town wedding.

561
00:14:43,377 --> 00:14:46,296
It was finally happening.

562
00:14:46,338 --> 00:14:47,923
Champagne?

563
00:14:47,965 --> 00:14:50,759
Ted! Oh, my gosh.

564
00:14:47,965 --> 00:14:50,759
I forgot to call you.

565
00:14:50,801 --> 00:14:53,345
Well, whatever it is

566
00:14:50,801 --> 00:14:53,345
you wanted to talk about,

567
00:14:50,801 --> 00:14:53,345
we can talk about it now.

568
00:14:55,181 --> 00:14:58,059
Um, this is Jack.

569
00:14:55,181 --> 00:14:58,059
He's the best man

570
00:14:55,181 --> 00:14:58,059
at the wedding.

571
00:14:58,100 --> 00:15:00,519
We just got

572
00:14:58,100 --> 00:15:00,519
back together.

573
00:15:00,561 --> 00:15:03,939
You know, now that I think

574
00:15:00,561 --> 00:15:03,939
about it, a phone call

575
00:15:00,561 --> 00:15:03,939
would have been nice.

576
00:15:03,981 --> 00:15:05,357
You're Ted?

577
00:15:05,399 --> 00:15:06,901
Ouch!

578
00:15:06,942 --> 00:15:08,569
But I hear you make

579
00:15:06,942 --> 00:15:08,569
a mean chocolate cake.

580
00:15:11,906 --> 00:15:15,367
Isn't he great?

581
00:15:11,906 --> 00:15:15,367
And he's in a band.

582
00:15:16,410 --> 00:15:18,913
Thanks.

583
00:15:18,954 --> 00:15:21,790
Come on, Lily.

584
00:15:18,954 --> 00:15:21,790
You have to get Scooter

585
00:15:18,954 --> 00:15:21,790
off the hook. Now try again.

586
00:15:23,125 --> 00:15:24,501
Teacup pig,

587
00:15:26,420 --> 00:15:27,713
I don't want

588
00:15:26,420 --> 00:15:27,713
to be with you.

589
00:15:36,180 --> 00:15:37,556
Right now.

590
00:15:36,180 --> 00:15:37,556
Man up!

591
00:15:39,725 --> 00:15:41,018
Teacup pig,

592
00:15:43,687 --> 00:15:45,147
I don't want

593
00:15:43,687 --> 00:15:45,147
to be with you.

594
00:15:50,652 --> 00:15:51,946
Ever!

595
00:15:51,987 --> 00:15:54,073
Finish him!

596
00:15:54,115 --> 00:15:57,409
We will never be together

597
00:15:54,115 --> 00:15:57,409
in any sort of sexual way

598
00:15:54,115 --> 00:15:57,409
ever again!

599
00:15:57,451 --> 00:15:58,535
Nice.

600
00:16:00,454 --> 00:16:01,413
Sort of

601
00:16:00,454 --> 00:16:01,413
a weird thing

602
00:16:00,454 --> 00:16:01,413
to say to a pig.

603
00:16:01,455 --> 00:16:02,581
It felt really wrong.

604
00:16:04,458 --> 00:16:06,961
Anyway, I just don't think

605
00:16:04,458 --> 00:16:06,961
you and I are gonna work.

606
00:16:08,462 --> 00:16:10,298
Right now.

607
00:16:10,339 --> 00:16:11,966
And that's when it hit me.

608
00:16:12,007 --> 00:16:15,303
I was on the hook.

609
00:16:12,007 --> 00:16:15,303
I also realized...

610
00:16:15,344 --> 00:16:17,387
I missed this so much, baby.

611
00:16:17,429 --> 00:16:20,432
Tiffany was

612
00:16:17,429 --> 00:16:20,432
on this guy's hook.

613
00:16:17,429 --> 00:16:20,432
It was a vicious cycle.

614
00:16:20,474 --> 00:16:22,851
Henrietta was on my hook.

615
00:16:22,893 --> 00:16:25,395
And years later, I found out

616
00:16:22,893 --> 00:16:25,395
this poor bastard was on

617
00:16:22,893 --> 00:16:25,395
Henrietta's hook.

618
00:16:28,983 --> 00:16:32,486
You know what?

619
00:16:28,983 --> 00:16:32,486
We're not gonna work, ever.

620
00:16:33,862 --> 00:16:34,989
I'm done.

621
00:16:39,118 --> 00:16:40,452
And it's

622
00:16:39,118 --> 00:16:40,452
really better

623
00:16:39,118 --> 00:16:40,452
for the circulation

624
00:16:40,494 --> 00:16:43,413
if you knead the arches

625
00:16:40,494 --> 00:16:43,413
with your thumbs.

626
00:16:40,494 --> 00:16:43,413
Now I'm done.

627
00:16:47,501 --> 00:16:49,253
Marshall, I can

628
00:16:47,501 --> 00:16:49,253
do this by myself.

629
00:16:49,295 --> 00:16:50,712
Okay. Well, then, prove it.

630
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:55,301
And grab me a pudding.

631
00:16:58,887 --> 00:17:03,433
Listen up, Scooter, there

632
00:16:58,887 --> 00:17:03,433
is no way you and I will

633
00:16:58,887 --> 00:17:03,433
ever be together.

634
00:17:11,192 --> 00:17:12,484
Right now!

635
00:17:12,526 --> 00:17:15,487
Marshall!

636
00:17:12,526 --> 00:17:15,487
I'm sorry. But he's adorable.

637
00:17:15,529 --> 00:17:18,032
Listen, I don't

638
00:17:15,529 --> 00:17:18,032
want to be with you.

639
00:17:18,073 --> 00:17:20,701
Right now.

640
00:17:18,073 --> 00:17:20,701
Hang in there, Scoots.

641
00:17:18,073 --> 00:17:20,701
I'm not gonna live forever.

642
00:17:22,911 --> 00:17:25,497
Last night,

643
00:17:22,911 --> 00:17:25,497
I was with this

644
00:17:22,911 --> 00:17:25,497
pharma girl who was so hot

645
00:17:25,539 --> 00:17:28,583
you should call a doctor if

646
00:17:25,539 --> 00:17:28,583
you don't have an erection

647
00:17:25,539 --> 00:17:28,583
for more than four hours.

648
00:17:28,625 --> 00:17:31,003
Am I right, people?

649
00:17:31,045 --> 00:17:34,131
Yeah, there's no people.

650
00:17:31,045 --> 00:17:34,131
Just the girl you most

651
00:17:31,045 --> 00:17:34,131
recently dated.

652
00:17:36,175 --> 00:17:40,595
Hey, Barney, I want you to

653
00:17:36,175 --> 00:17:40,595
meet the newest pharma girl.

654
00:17:40,637 --> 00:17:43,098
Gladys Reynolds. Nice

655
00:17:40,637 --> 00:17:43,098
to make your acquaintance.

656
00:17:43,140 --> 00:17:46,894
I represent

657
00:17:43,140 --> 00:17:46,894
statins and other

658
00:17:43,140 --> 00:17:46,894
cholesterol-lowering drugs.

659
00:17:46,935 --> 00:17:48,103
Come on, girl.

660
00:17:46,935 --> 00:17:48,103
Let's go get our drink on!

661
00:17:48,145 --> 00:17:49,521
Okay.

662
00:17:51,732 --> 00:17:53,150
It's over.

663
00:17:53,192 --> 00:17:55,527
What's over?

664
00:17:55,569 --> 00:17:58,822
Pharma girls are no longer

665
00:17:55,569 --> 00:17:58,822
exclusively hot chicks.

666
00:17:58,864 --> 00:18:00,490
It's the end of an era.

667
00:18:00,532 --> 00:18:02,201
You're being

668
00:18:00,532 --> 00:18:02,201
a little dramatic.

669
00:18:02,243 --> 00:18:03,535
Am I?

670
00:18:03,577 --> 00:18:05,996
It starts out with a Gladys.

671
00:18:06,038 --> 00:18:09,499
Next thing you know,

672
00:18:06,038 --> 00:18:09,499
a few not-so-fabulous

673
00:18:06,038 --> 00:18:09,499
gay guys enter the ranks.

674
00:18:09,541 --> 00:18:12,794
And before you know it,

675
00:18:09,541 --> 00:18:12,794
pharma girls look like

676
00:18:09,541 --> 00:18:12,794
the crew

677
00:18:12,836 --> 00:18:16,215
on a Southwest flight

678
00:18:12,836 --> 00:18:16,215
from Albuquerque to

679
00:18:12,836 --> 00:18:16,215
Little Rock.

680
00:18:16,257 --> 00:18:17,507
It's over.

681
00:18:18,550 --> 00:18:20,928
Okay.

682
00:18:20,969 --> 00:18:22,471
So that night,

683
00:18:20,969 --> 00:18:22,471
I went straight to

684
00:18:20,969 --> 00:18:22,471
Henrietta's,

685
00:18:22,512 --> 00:18:24,514
all set to let her

686
00:18:22,512 --> 00:18:24,514
off the hook.

687
00:18:33,607 --> 00:18:35,817
This is Jack.

688
00:18:33,607 --> 00:18:35,817
He's the best

689
00:18:33,607 --> 00:18:35,817
man at the wedding.

690
00:18:40,822 --> 00:18:41,907
I'm done.

691
00:18:47,121 --> 00:18:49,706
Yes! The answer is yes!

692
00:18:51,750 --> 00:18:55,587
No!

693
00:18:51,750 --> 00:18:55,587
Oh! It gets worse.

694
00:18:55,629 --> 00:18:59,800
It's perfect!

695
00:18:55,629 --> 00:18:59,800
Mom, Dad! Ted proposed!

696
00:18:59,841 --> 00:19:02,261
Oh, my God!

697
00:18:59,841 --> 00:19:02,261
I knew this day would come!

698
00:19:02,303 --> 00:19:03,595
Oh! Oh!

699
00:19:03,637 --> 00:19:05,847
Son!

700
00:19:03,637 --> 00:19:05,847
Yeah, well...

701
00:19:03,637 --> 00:19:05,847
There's been a...

702
00:19:05,889 --> 00:19:09,601
No! What did you do?

703
00:19:09,643 --> 00:19:14,815
I seriously

704
00:19:09,643 --> 00:19:14,815
considered just marrying

705
00:19:09,643 --> 00:19:14,815
her out of sheer awkwardness.

706
00:19:14,856 --> 00:19:16,400
But I did

707
00:19:14,856 --> 00:19:16,400
what I had to do.

708
00:19:16,442 --> 00:19:19,987
I did what anyone

709
00:19:16,442 --> 00:19:19,987
keeping someone on

710
00:19:16,442 --> 00:19:19,987
the hook should do.

711
00:19:20,028 --> 00:19:22,490
I broke her heart.

712
00:19:22,531 --> 00:19:25,451
Henrietta, I'm sorry

713
00:19:22,531 --> 00:19:25,451
if this is blunt, but

714
00:19:22,531 --> 00:19:25,451
I think I owe you this.

715
00:19:27,328 --> 00:19:29,330
I don't want

716
00:19:27,328 --> 00:19:29,330
to be with you.

717
00:19:30,289 --> 00:19:31,499
Right now?

718
00:19:32,666 --> 00:19:33,583
Ever.

719
00:19:36,337 --> 00:19:38,380
But we're still

720
00:19:36,337 --> 00:19:38,380
getting married, right?

721
00:19:38,422 --> 00:19:41,509
It was brutal.

722
00:19:41,550 --> 00:19:43,844
Oh. I'm sorry, buddy.

723
00:19:43,885 --> 00:19:47,806
Honesty is tough, but in

724
00:19:43,885 --> 00:19:47,806
the end, it's the far

725
00:19:43,885 --> 00:19:47,806
kinder alternative.

726
00:19:47,848 --> 00:19:48,682
Yeah.

727
00:19:49,724 --> 00:19:50,600
Hey, sweetie.

728
00:19:53,687 --> 00:19:56,106
Hey, Mike, I have

729
00:19:53,687 --> 00:19:56,106
to tell you something.

730
00:19:58,650 --> 00:20:00,194
Wait, did you finish

731
00:19:58,650 --> 00:20:00,194
my delicates?

732
00:20:00,235 --> 00:20:02,612
I got one more load.

733
00:20:00,235 --> 00:20:02,612
Ah. It can wait.

734
00:20:06,033 --> 00:20:06,825
I...

735
00:20:12,039 --> 00:20:14,208
Hey.

736
00:20:12,039 --> 00:20:14,208
Hey, how's it going?

737
00:20:14,249 --> 00:20:16,460
Still in

738
00:20:14,249 --> 00:20:16,460
mourning over the end

739
00:20:14,249 --> 00:20:16,460
of the pharma girl era?

740
00:20:16,502 --> 00:20:19,671
No. I realized that

741
00:20:16,502 --> 00:20:19,671
their reign had to end

742
00:20:19,713 --> 00:20:22,674
to make room for some

743
00:20:19,713 --> 00:20:22,674
new hot girl profession.

744
00:20:22,716 --> 00:20:26,678
Maybe it'll be intergalactic

745
00:20:22,716 --> 00:20:26,678
communications officer

746
00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:30,849
on a rocket ship to

747
00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:30,849
some distant solar system

748
00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:30,849
we can't possibly imagine.

749
00:20:30,891 --> 00:20:34,269
Maybe it'll be meter maids.

750
00:20:30,891 --> 00:20:34,269
We just don't know.

751
00:20:35,687 --> 00:20:38,065
But one thing is sure.

752
00:20:38,106 --> 00:20:42,944
The future glows

753
00:20:38,106 --> 00:20:42,944
like a giant sun

754
00:20:42,986 --> 00:20:46,865
shooting amber rays of light

755
00:20:42,986 --> 00:20:46,865
into our hearts and minds.

756
00:20:48,742 --> 00:20:51,412
Wow, what changed your mind?

757
00:20:51,453 --> 00:20:55,707
The realization that

758
00:20:51,453 --> 00:20:55,707
hope springs eternal, Robin.

759
00:20:55,749 --> 00:20:59,587
That and this little

760
00:20:55,749 --> 00:20:59,587
bottle of purple pills

761
00:20:55,749 --> 00:20:59,587
I found in my couch cushion.

762
00:20:59,628 --> 00:21:03,048
I don't know what they are,

763
00:20:59,628 --> 00:21:03,048
but they're

764
00:20:59,628 --> 00:21:03,048
amazing!

765
00:21:32,786 --> 00:21:33,703
ENGLISH - US - LINE 21