1
00:00:02,567 --> 00:00:04,194
Kids,

2
00:00:02,567 --> 00:00:04,194
when you're in your 20s,

3
00:00:02,567 --> 00:00:04,194
dating is great.

4
00:00:04,236 --> 00:00:05,528
But by the time

5
00:00:04,236 --> 00:00:05,528
you reach your 30s,

6
00:00:05,570 --> 00:00:08,698
you find out pretty fast

7
00:00:05,570 --> 00:00:08,698
everyone has baggage.

8
00:00:08,740 --> 00:00:11,410
Sure you can

9
00:00:08,740 --> 00:00:11,410
stick to the small talk,

10
00:00:08,740 --> 00:00:11,410
and pretend it's not there,

11
00:00:11,451 --> 00:00:12,535
but sooner or later...

12
00:00:12,577 --> 00:00:13,786
Oh!

13
00:00:13,828 --> 00:00:17,749
It's my ex.

14
00:00:13,828 --> 00:00:17,749
Sorry, we're trying

15
00:00:13,828 --> 00:00:17,749
to remain friends.

16
00:00:17,790 --> 00:00:20,626
Hi, pumpkin.

17
00:00:17,790 --> 00:00:20,626
Did you get our

18
00:00:17,790 --> 00:00:20,626
tickets to Maui?

19
00:00:23,255 --> 00:00:24,797
Yeah, it's there.

20
00:00:39,979 --> 00:00:42,607
That spring, I had

21
00:00:39,979 --> 00:00:42,607
just started dating

22
00:00:39,979 --> 00:00:42,607
a girl named Royce.

23
00:00:42,648 --> 00:00:44,317
She was smart,

24
00:00:42,648 --> 00:00:44,317
beautiful...

25
00:00:44,359 --> 00:00:46,152
Blah, blah, blah,

26
00:00:44,359 --> 00:00:46,152
we're very happy together.

27
00:00:46,194 --> 00:00:47,320
But...

28
00:00:47,362 --> 00:00:49,114
Exactly.

29
00:00:47,362 --> 00:00:49,114
That's the problem.

30
00:00:49,155 --> 00:00:50,282
Her butt?

31
00:00:50,323 --> 00:00:51,699
What is it, too much?

32
00:00:50,323 --> 00:00:51,699
Too little?

33
00:00:51,741 --> 00:00:53,076
Or is it an issue

34
00:00:51,741 --> 00:00:53,076
of access?

35
00:00:55,370 --> 00:00:57,414
No. The but is,

36
00:00:55,370 --> 00:00:57,414
there's always

37
00:00:55,370 --> 00:00:57,414
gonna be a but.

38
00:00:57,456 --> 00:00:59,374
No matter how great

39
00:00:57,456 --> 00:00:59,374
things are going,

40
00:00:59,416 --> 00:01:01,084
sooner or later,

41
00:00:59,416 --> 00:01:01,084
it's gonna get ruined.

42
00:01:01,126 --> 00:01:02,668
When she turns 30.

43
00:01:02,710 --> 00:01:05,588
When I find out

44
00:01:02,710 --> 00:01:05,588
what her baggage is.

45
00:01:05,630 --> 00:01:07,299
It's there.

46
00:01:05,630 --> 00:01:07,299
I don't know

47
00:01:05,630 --> 00:01:07,299
what it is,

48
00:01:07,340 --> 00:01:08,925
but when I do,

49
00:01:07,340 --> 00:01:08,925
party's over.

50
00:01:08,967 --> 00:01:11,219
Whoa!

51
00:01:11,261 --> 00:01:14,514
Ted, please tell me

52
00:01:11,261 --> 00:01:14,514
you are not impugning

53
00:01:11,261 --> 00:01:14,514
emotional baggage.

54
00:01:14,555 --> 00:01:16,015
Baggage is

55
00:01:14,555 --> 00:01:16,015
a good thing?

56
00:01:16,057 --> 00:01:18,601
Emotional baggage

57
00:01:16,057 --> 00:01:18,601
is the bedrock

58
00:01:18,643 --> 00:01:21,438
of America's

59
00:01:18,643 --> 00:01:21,438
most important

60
00:01:18,643 --> 00:01:21,438
cultural export.

61
00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:22,981
Porn.

62
00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:22,981
Porn.

63
00:01:23,022 --> 00:01:26,192
Actually, it's porn.

64
00:01:26,234 --> 00:01:29,404
Only women with major

65
00:01:26,234 --> 00:01:29,404
baggage go into porn.

66
00:01:29,446 --> 00:01:31,072
Major baggage.

67
00:01:29,446 --> 00:01:31,072
Major baggage.

68
00:01:31,114 --> 00:01:34,617
Ted, everyone has baggage,

69
00:01:31,114 --> 00:01:34,617
you just gotta look past it.

70
00:01:34,659 --> 00:01:37,996
Really? 'Cause

71
00:01:34,659 --> 00:01:37,996
the last time I looked

72
00:01:34,659 --> 00:01:37,996
past a girl's baggage,

73
00:01:38,037 --> 00:01:40,665
that baggage belonged

74
00:01:38,037 --> 00:01:40,665
to a girl named Stella,

75
00:01:38,037 --> 00:01:40,665
and...

76
00:01:40,706 --> 00:01:44,669
Oh, I'm drawing a blank here.

77
00:01:40,706 --> 00:01:44,669
How did that work out again?

78
00:01:44,710 --> 00:01:46,587
Here's

79
00:01:44,710 --> 00:01:46,587
how it worked out.

80
00:01:46,629 --> 00:01:49,090
I asked her to marry me,

81
00:01:46,629 --> 00:01:49,090
she said yes. We were happy.

82
00:01:49,132 --> 00:01:50,550
But then the day

83
00:01:49,132 --> 00:01:50,550
of the wedding,

84
00:01:50,591 --> 00:01:52,344
her karate instructor

85
00:01:50,591 --> 00:01:52,344
ex-boyfriend,

86
00:01:52,385 --> 00:01:55,096
Tony Grafanello, showed up,

87
00:01:52,385 --> 00:01:55,096
declared his love for her,

88
00:01:55,138 --> 00:01:57,307
and Stella ran off

89
00:01:55,138 --> 00:01:57,307
with him to California,

90
00:01:57,349 --> 00:02:00,519
leaving me utterly and

91
00:01:57,349 --> 00:02:00,519
completely heartbroken.

92
00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:03,396
Ted, look, what happened

93
00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:03,396
with Stella was awful.

94
00:02:03,438 --> 00:02:06,399
But that doesn't mean

95
00:02:03,438 --> 00:02:06,399
anyone with baggage

96
00:02:03,438 --> 00:02:06,399
is undateable.

97
00:02:06,441 --> 00:02:08,943
Well, I'm just glad that

98
00:02:06,441 --> 00:02:08,943
we met young enough that

99
00:02:06,441 --> 00:02:08,943
I don't have any baggage.

100
00:02:08,985 --> 00:02:10,653
Mother issues.

101
00:02:08,985 --> 00:02:10,653
I do not.

102
00:02:10,695 --> 00:02:12,405
Grandmother issues.

103
00:02:10,695 --> 00:02:12,405
Definitely do not.

104
00:02:12,447 --> 00:02:13,656
Great-grandmother issues.

105
00:02:13,698 --> 00:02:15,741
I just don't like it

106
00:02:13,698 --> 00:02:15,741
when she picks me up.

107
00:02:15,783 --> 00:02:18,661
And you know what

108
00:02:15,783 --> 00:02:18,661
your biggest baggage is?

109
00:02:15,783 --> 00:02:18,661
You're too nice.

110
00:02:18,703 --> 00:02:20,663
How is being

111
00:02:18,703 --> 00:02:20,663
nice baggage?

112
00:02:20,705 --> 00:02:24,083
Have you ever seen you

113
00:02:20,705 --> 00:02:24,083
walk down the street?

114
00:02:24,125 --> 00:02:25,502
I don't even know

115
00:02:24,125 --> 00:02:25,502
how to answer that.

116
00:02:25,544 --> 00:02:26,419
Well, let me

117
00:02:25,544 --> 00:02:26,419
help you out.

118
00:02:27,628 --> 00:02:32,133
Michael. Javier. Marcello.

119
00:02:32,175 --> 00:02:35,636
Suzanne. Hey, Deng.

120
00:02:32,175 --> 00:02:35,636
Let me help you with that.

121
00:02:37,722 --> 00:02:40,850
That ought to do it.

122
00:02:40,892 --> 00:02:43,686
Oh, guys, no.

123
00:02:40,892 --> 00:02:43,686
I could not today.

124
00:02:40,892 --> 00:02:43,686
It would just be...

125
00:02:51,736 --> 00:02:53,696
That's normal.

126
00:02:53,738 --> 00:02:56,282
There is only one street

127
00:02:53,738 --> 00:02:56,282
where that is normal.

128
00:02:56,324 --> 00:03:00,703
Here's a hint,

129
00:02:56,324 --> 00:03:00,703
a giant yellow

130
00:02:56,324 --> 00:03:00,703
bird lives on it.

131
00:03:00,745 --> 00:03:04,374
Well, I'll be pretty happy

132
00:03:00,745 --> 00:03:04,374
if Royce's only baggage

133
00:03:00,745 --> 00:03:04,374
is that she's too nice.

134
00:03:04,416 --> 00:03:07,043
Too nice?

135
00:03:04,416 --> 00:03:07,043
That is the worst

136
00:03:04,416 --> 00:03:07,043
kind of baggage.

137
00:03:07,085 --> 00:03:09,504
Best baggage,

138
00:03:07,085 --> 00:03:09,504
hates her dad,

139
00:03:09,546 --> 00:03:11,714
and thinks she's fat

140
00:03:09,546 --> 00:03:11,714
but isn't.

141
00:03:11,756 --> 00:03:13,091
Angry sex on

142
00:03:11,756 --> 00:03:13,091
the first date,

143
00:03:13,132 --> 00:03:16,595
and then as soon as you

144
00:03:13,132 --> 00:03:16,595
mention breakfast,

145
00:03:13,132 --> 00:03:16,595
she's gone.

146
00:03:16,636 --> 00:03:19,264
Why do you guys

147
00:03:16,636 --> 00:03:19,264
hang out with me?

148
00:03:19,305 --> 00:03:21,057
That night,

149
00:03:19,305 --> 00:03:21,057
on my date with Royce,

150
00:03:21,099 --> 00:03:23,393
I kept waiting to see

151
00:03:21,099 --> 00:03:23,393
what her baggage would be.

152
00:03:23,435 --> 00:03:26,145
So is spaghetti

153
00:03:23,435 --> 00:03:26,145
your specialty?

154
00:03:26,187 --> 00:03:29,065
No. The main event

155
00:03:26,187 --> 00:03:29,065
is my pancakes.

156
00:03:29,107 --> 00:03:31,943
I'll make them

157
00:03:29,107 --> 00:03:31,943
for you sometime.

158
00:03:29,107 --> 00:03:31,943
They are insane.

159
00:03:31,984 --> 00:03:34,737
My dad used to make

160
00:03:31,984 --> 00:03:34,737
multi-grain pancakes.

161
00:03:34,779 --> 00:03:36,114
He's the one who got me

162
00:03:34,779 --> 00:03:36,114
working in porn.

163
00:03:39,784 --> 00:03:42,870
You know PORN:

164
00:03:39,784 --> 00:03:42,870
Parents Offering

165
00:03:39,784 --> 00:03:42,870
Recreation and Nutrition.

166
00:03:42,912 --> 00:03:44,497
It's a charity

167
00:03:42,912 --> 00:03:44,497
for inner-city teens

168
00:03:44,539 --> 00:03:46,332
who don't have access to

169
00:03:44,539 --> 00:03:46,332
sports or healthy food.

170
00:03:48,793 --> 00:03:52,171
That reminds me,

171
00:03:48,793 --> 00:03:52,171
I killed my brother

172
00:03:54,966 --> 00:03:58,094
with this joke

173
00:03:54,966 --> 00:03:58,094
I told him last night.

174
00:03:58,136 --> 00:04:00,721
A barber, a stripper

175
00:03:58,136 --> 00:04:00,721
and a Jew...

176
00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:08,771
lliard-trained violinist,

177
00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:08,771
walked into a bar.

178
00:04:08,813 --> 00:04:10,773
I looked

179
00:04:08,813 --> 00:04:10,773
and looked and looked,

180
00:04:10,815 --> 00:04:14,860
but it really appeared

181
00:04:10,815 --> 00:04:14,860
as though there was no

182
00:04:10,815 --> 00:04:14,860
baggage to worry about.

183
00:04:14,902 --> 00:04:16,779
Until we went to go

184
00:04:14,902 --> 00:04:16,779
see a movie.

185
00:04:27,373 --> 00:04:28,749
Oh, no.

186
00:04:28,791 --> 00:04:30,793
Hey, what took you

187
00:04:28,791 --> 00:04:30,793
guys so long?

188
00:04:30,835 --> 00:04:33,045
Nothing.

189
00:04:30,835 --> 00:04:33,045
Forget about it.

190
00:04:33,087 --> 00:04:34,964
We were on

191
00:04:33,087 --> 00:04:34,964
our way here,

192
00:04:35,006 --> 00:04:38,759
and Marshall wanted to stop

193
00:04:35,006 --> 00:04:38,759
and help some guys load

194
00:04:35,006 --> 00:04:38,759
their moving van.

195
00:04:38,801 --> 00:04:41,220
To be nice.

196
00:04:38,801 --> 00:04:41,220
Didn't cost nothing.

197
00:04:41,262 --> 00:04:44,223
And when the

198
00:04:41,262 --> 00:04:44,223
moving van drove away,

199
00:04:41,262 --> 00:04:44,223
who should show up

200
00:04:44,265 --> 00:04:46,142
but the owner

201
00:04:44,265 --> 00:04:46,142
of the apartment

202
00:04:46,184 --> 00:04:49,061
we had just helped

203
00:04:46,184 --> 00:04:49,061
some guys rob.

204
00:04:49,103 --> 00:04:52,898
And that one was

205
00:04:49,103 --> 00:04:52,898
hard to explain

206
00:04:49,103 --> 00:04:52,898
to the police.

207
00:04:52,940 --> 00:04:54,817
See, Marshall,

208
00:04:52,940 --> 00:04:54,817
this is what I mean.

209
00:04:54,859 --> 00:04:56,819
You can't treat

210
00:04:54,859 --> 00:04:56,819
New York City

211
00:04:56,861 --> 00:04:59,822
like it's the small,

212
00:04:56,861 --> 00:04:59,822
friendly, crime-free,

213
00:04:56,861 --> 00:04:59,822
inbred,

214
00:04:59,864 --> 00:05:02,825
backwoods, Podunk,

215
00:04:59,864 --> 00:05:02,825
cow-tipping

216
00:04:59,864 --> 00:05:02,825
Minnesota hickville

217
00:05:02,867 --> 00:05:04,494
where you grew up.

218
00:05:04,536 --> 00:05:07,372
Crime-free?

219
00:05:04,536 --> 00:05:07,372
Crime-free?

220
00:05:07,413 --> 00:05:12,293
In 1994, the cashier

221
00:05:07,413 --> 00:05:12,293
from the feed store

222
00:05:07,413 --> 00:05:12,293
was held up at hoe-point.

223
00:05:12,335 --> 00:05:14,837
And besides, I like

224
00:05:12,335 --> 00:05:14,837
being friendly, okay?

225
00:05:14,879 --> 00:05:16,548
I'm not gonna change

226
00:05:14,879 --> 00:05:16,548
that about myself.

227
00:05:16,589 --> 00:05:19,342
No, don't change, baby.

228
00:05:16,589 --> 00:05:19,342
I think it's sweet.

229
00:05:19,384 --> 00:05:23,304
Sweet, sweet,

230
00:05:19,384 --> 00:05:23,304
sweet mother of God.

231
00:05:19,384 --> 00:05:23,304
He's an idiot sometimes.

232
00:05:23,346 --> 00:05:26,098
He actually lent

233
00:05:23,346 --> 00:05:26,098
the burglars gas money.

234
00:05:26,140 --> 00:05:27,850
He gave them money?

235
00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:31,646
Not gave, lent.

236
00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:31,646
They said that they

237
00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:31,646
would send us a check,

238
00:05:31,688 --> 00:05:34,566
so Marshall gave

239
00:05:31,688 --> 00:05:34,566
them our address.

240
00:05:34,607 --> 00:05:36,859
What's to stop them

241
00:05:34,607 --> 00:05:36,859
from coming to our

242
00:05:34,607 --> 00:05:36,859
apartment one night,

243
00:05:36,901 --> 00:05:39,278
and maybe tying me up?

244
00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:43,115
I mean, sure, Marshall

245
00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:43,115
and I like to pretend,

246
00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:43,115
but the reality is scary.

247
00:05:43,157 --> 00:05:44,867
Why don't you say

248
00:05:43,157 --> 00:05:44,867
something to him?

249
00:05:44,909 --> 00:05:47,078
What's the point?

250
00:05:44,909 --> 00:05:47,078
He's from Minnesota.

251
00:05:47,119 --> 00:05:48,788
His high school

252
00:05:47,119 --> 00:05:48,788
mascot was a hug.

253
00:05:50,749 --> 00:05:51,874
Hey, guys.

254
00:05:51,916 --> 00:05:53,876
Hey, how'd the date

255
00:05:51,916 --> 00:05:53,876
with Royce go?

256
00:05:53,918 --> 00:05:56,879
It was interesting.

257
00:05:53,918 --> 00:05:56,879
We went to see that new

258
00:05:53,918 --> 00:05:56,879
movie, The Wedding Bride.

259
00:05:56,921 --> 00:05:58,881
Oh! How was it?

260
00:05:58,923 --> 00:06:01,426
Not that I care.

261
00:05:58,923 --> 00:06:01,426
I mean,

262
00:05:58,923 --> 00:06:01,426
it's a chick flick.

263
00:06:01,467 --> 00:06:05,888
This one will probably

264
00:06:01,467 --> 00:06:05,888
drag me to it, like the

265
00:06:01,467 --> 00:06:05,888
7:10 show tomorrow night,

266
00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:07,098
or 9:40 because I

267
00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:07,098
have that meeting,

268
00:06:07,139 --> 00:06:08,307
but I can probably

269
00:06:07,139 --> 00:06:08,307
get out of it,

270
00:06:08,349 --> 00:06:09,892
so let's try

271
00:06:08,349 --> 00:06:09,892
for the 7:10.

272
00:06:09,934 --> 00:06:11,644
What's that

273
00:06:09,934 --> 00:06:11,644
movie about, anyway?

274
00:06:11,686 --> 00:06:13,479
That's the

275
00:06:11,686 --> 00:06:13,479
interesting part.

276
00:06:13,521 --> 00:06:16,857
Hey, bonehead!

277
00:06:13,521 --> 00:06:16,857
I'm Jed Mosley.

278
00:06:16,899 --> 00:06:20,069
I'm the most powerful

279
00:06:16,899 --> 00:06:20,069
and corrupt architect

280
00:06:16,899 --> 00:06:20,069
in New York.

281
00:06:20,111 --> 00:06:23,864
I...

282
00:06:20,111 --> 00:06:23,864
That's gonna

283
00:06:20,111 --> 00:06:23,864
leave a mark!

284
00:06:25,157 --> 00:06:26,743
It's about me.

285
00:06:30,955 --> 00:06:33,332
The Wedding Bride

286
00:06:30,955 --> 00:06:33,332
is about you?

287
00:06:30,955 --> 00:06:33,332
Yeah.

288
00:06:33,374 --> 00:06:36,210
Okay, are you sure it's

289
00:06:33,374 --> 00:06:36,210
about you? Because when

290
00:06:33,374 --> 00:06:36,210
I saw Spaceballs

291
00:06:36,252 --> 00:06:37,211
for the first time,

292
00:06:36,252 --> 00:06:37,211
I could've sworn...

293
00:06:37,253 --> 00:06:39,839
This movie is

294
00:06:37,253 --> 00:06:39,839
about me, Marshall.

295
00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:42,300
It was written

296
00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:42,300
by Tony Grafanello.

297
00:06:42,341 --> 00:06:44,135
Tony Grafanello?

298
00:06:42,341 --> 00:06:44,135
That's...

299
00:06:44,176 --> 00:06:46,679
Yeah, the guy that

300
00:06:44,176 --> 00:06:46,679
Stella left me for.

301
00:06:46,721 --> 00:06:49,014
This movie is

302
00:06:46,721 --> 00:06:49,014
the whole story

303
00:06:46,721 --> 00:06:49,014
of our breakup.

304
00:06:49,056 --> 00:06:51,225
Why would

305
00:06:49,056 --> 00:06:51,225
he write a movie

306
00:06:49,056 --> 00:06:51,225
about that?

307
00:06:51,267 --> 00:06:52,852
Isn't he the bad guy

308
00:06:51,267 --> 00:06:52,852
in that story?

309
00:06:52,893 --> 00:06:55,980
Yeah, and the good guy

310
00:06:52,893 --> 00:06:55,980
is a guy named Ted Mosby.

311
00:06:56,021 --> 00:06:58,941
Funny, that was my

312
00:06:56,021 --> 00:06:58,941
memory of it, too.

313
00:06:58,983 --> 00:07:02,236
But, according

314
00:06:58,983 --> 00:07:02,236
to the movie...

315
00:07:02,278 --> 00:07:04,071
Mr. Mosley,

316
00:07:02,278 --> 00:07:04,071
your fiancee is here.

317
00:07:04,113 --> 00:07:07,492
Great. The old ball

318
00:07:04,113 --> 00:07:07,492
and chain.

319
00:07:07,533 --> 00:07:10,745
I can't wait to make her

320
00:07:07,533 --> 00:07:10,745
move out of her beautiful

321
00:07:07,533 --> 00:07:10,745
house in New Jersey

322
00:07:10,787 --> 00:07:13,456
and come live with me

323
00:07:10,787 --> 00:07:13,456
in an apartment above

324
00:07:10,787 --> 00:07:13,456
a bar. Send her in.

325
00:07:15,792 --> 00:07:20,212
Ah, Stella. To what

326
00:07:15,792 --> 00:07:20,212
do I owe the pleasure?

327
00:07:20,254 --> 00:07:22,965
We're supposed

328
00:07:20,254 --> 00:07:22,965
to taste wedding cakes

329
00:07:20,254 --> 00:07:22,965
this afternoon, remember?

330
00:07:23,007 --> 00:07:24,216
Ouch!

331
00:07:24,258 --> 00:07:26,927
No-can-do's-ville,

332
00:07:24,258 --> 00:07:26,927
babydoll.

333
00:07:28,638 --> 00:07:29,972
Whoa!

334
00:07:34,686 --> 00:07:35,770
Aw!

335
00:07:36,937 --> 00:07:38,272
Well, I am stunned.

336
00:07:38,314 --> 00:07:39,816
Right.

337
00:07:39,858 --> 00:07:42,443
That's what passes

338
00:07:39,858 --> 00:07:42,443
for comedy these days?

339
00:07:42,485 --> 00:07:45,446
Whoa! "I'm falling

340
00:07:42,485 --> 00:07:45,446
back in my chair."

341
00:07:46,572 --> 00:07:48,115
Whoa.

342
00:07:48,157 --> 00:07:49,074
I'm really falling

343
00:07:48,157 --> 00:07:49,074
back in my chair.

344
00:07:49,116 --> 00:07:50,660
Baby.

345
00:07:50,702 --> 00:07:52,620
Okay,

346
00:07:50,702 --> 00:07:52,620
that was pretty funny.

347
00:07:52,662 --> 00:07:56,457
What a jerk.

348
00:07:52,662 --> 00:07:56,457
Did he at least get

349
00:07:52,662 --> 00:07:56,457
someone hot to play me?

350
00:07:56,499 --> 00:07:58,710
You're not in it.

351
00:07:56,499 --> 00:07:58,710
What a jerk.

352
00:07:58,751 --> 00:08:01,379
No, no, no, no, no.

353
00:07:58,751 --> 00:08:01,379
Tony's not a jerk,

354
00:08:01,420 --> 00:08:03,923
not according to

355
00:08:01,420 --> 00:08:03,923
the movie, anyway.

356
00:08:03,964 --> 00:08:07,677
I'm going through

357
00:08:03,964 --> 00:08:07,677
with this wedding.

358
00:08:03,964 --> 00:08:07,677
I'm sorry, Tony.

359
00:08:07,719 --> 00:08:11,514
Stella, your happiness

360
00:08:07,719 --> 00:08:11,514
is the only thing

361
00:08:07,719 --> 00:08:11,514
I care about,

362
00:08:11,556 --> 00:08:15,017
except for these

363
00:08:11,556 --> 00:08:15,017
underprivileged children

364
00:08:11,556 --> 00:08:15,017
that I work with for free.

365
00:08:15,059 --> 00:08:16,268
Aw!

366
00:08:17,228 --> 00:08:18,563
I love him.

367
00:08:20,064 --> 00:08:22,024
It's not that

368
00:08:20,064 --> 00:08:22,024
easy, Tony.

369
00:08:22,066 --> 00:08:24,610
Jed Mosley may not be

370
00:08:22,066 --> 00:08:24,610
as handsome as you are,

371
00:08:24,652 --> 00:08:27,029
or as tall as you are...

372
00:08:27,071 --> 00:08:29,657
I'm taller

373
00:08:27,071 --> 00:08:29,657
than that guy.

374
00:08:29,699 --> 00:08:32,034
and our sex life

375
00:08:29,699 --> 00:08:32,034
is terrible.

376
00:08:32,076 --> 00:08:34,078
Once he even fell asleep

377
00:08:32,076 --> 00:08:34,078
while we were doing it.

378
00:08:32,076 --> 00:08:34,078
I mean...

379
00:08:34,119 --> 00:08:36,831
It was one time.

380
00:08:34,119 --> 00:08:36,831
I was on cold medicine.

381
00:08:36,873 --> 00:08:39,709
What?

382
00:08:36,873 --> 00:08:39,709
Nothing.

383
00:08:39,751 --> 00:08:43,796
This is a terrible movie!

384
00:08:39,751 --> 00:08:43,796
And it got everything wrong.

385
00:08:43,838 --> 00:08:46,257
Remember how I

386
00:08:43,838 --> 00:08:46,257
proposed to Stella?

387
00:08:46,298 --> 00:08:48,676
That spontaneous

388
00:08:46,298 --> 00:08:48,676
moment in the arcade.

389
00:08:48,718 --> 00:08:51,470
I didn't have a ring,

390
00:08:48,718 --> 00:08:51,470
so I gave her a toy I won

391
00:08:48,718 --> 00:08:51,470
from a crane machine?

392
00:08:51,512 --> 00:08:52,430
Oh, that was so sweet.

393
00:08:52,471 --> 00:08:53,598
So romantic.

394
00:08:53,639 --> 00:08:56,058
A little cheesy.

395
00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:59,019
Well, here's how

396
00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:59,019
it went in the movie.

397
00:08:59,061 --> 00:09:03,441
Look, if it'll shut you up,

398
00:08:59,061 --> 00:09:03,441
I guess we can get married.

399
00:09:03,482 --> 00:09:05,150
Well, aren't you

400
00:09:03,482 --> 00:09:05,150
gonna give me a ring?

401
00:09:05,192 --> 00:09:08,028
No-can-do's-ville, babydoll.

402
00:09:09,864 --> 00:09:11,073
Here. Put this

403
00:09:09,864 --> 00:09:11,073
on your finger.

404
00:09:11,115 --> 00:09:12,032
Hey!

405
00:09:13,868 --> 00:09:16,203
And remember

406
00:09:13,868 --> 00:09:16,203
the two-minute date?

407
00:09:16,245 --> 00:09:18,080
When I squeezed

408
00:09:16,245 --> 00:09:18,080
an entire romantic evening

409
00:09:18,122 --> 00:09:20,917
into just two minutes

410
00:09:18,122 --> 00:09:20,917
to accommodate Stella's

411
00:09:18,122 --> 00:09:20,917
busy schedule?

412
00:09:20,959 --> 00:09:22,293
Oh, Ted, you're

413
00:09:20,959 --> 00:09:22,293
such a good guy.

414
00:09:22,334 --> 00:09:23,461
That was really nice.

415
00:09:23,502 --> 00:09:26,923
Also, a little cheesy.

416
00:09:26,965 --> 00:09:28,925
Well, according

417
00:09:26,965 --> 00:09:28,925
to the movie...

418
00:09:28,967 --> 00:09:30,676
What about our big

419
00:09:28,967 --> 00:09:30,676
romantic weekend?

420
00:09:30,718 --> 00:09:33,679
No-can-do's-ville, babydoll.

421
00:09:33,721 --> 00:09:37,683
Alls I got time for

422
00:09:33,721 --> 00:09:37,683
is a two-minute date,

423
00:09:33,721 --> 00:09:37,683
if you know what I mean.

424
00:09:37,725 --> 00:09:38,893
Sex.

425
00:09:38,935 --> 00:09:40,102
Whoa!

426
00:09:45,190 --> 00:09:47,109
Aw!

427
00:09:47,151 --> 00:09:49,278
Hey, if you know what

428
00:09:47,151 --> 00:09:49,278
you're doing, two minutes

429
00:09:47,151 --> 00:09:49,278
is all you need.

430
00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:52,114
Run tell dat.

431
00:09:52,156 --> 00:09:56,869
But the worst,

432
00:09:52,156 --> 00:09:56,869
the worst, was the ending.

433
00:09:52,156 --> 00:09:56,869
So they're at the wedding...

434
00:09:56,911 --> 00:09:59,121
Do you, Stella,

435
00:09:56,911 --> 00:09:59,121
take Jed Mosley

436
00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:01,666
to be your

437
00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:01,666
lawfully-wedded husband?

438
00:10:01,707 --> 00:10:05,210
I...

439
00:10:01,707 --> 00:10:05,210
Whoa! Spoilers!

440
00:10:05,252 --> 00:10:09,465
Is what I would say

441
00:10:05,252 --> 00:10:09,465
if I ever plan on seeing

442
00:10:05,252 --> 00:10:09,465
such an awful film.

443
00:10:10,174 --> 00:10:11,509
Continue.

444
00:10:14,929 --> 00:10:16,597
So they're

445
00:10:14,929 --> 00:10:16,597
at the wedding.

446
00:10:16,639 --> 00:10:17,598
I...

447
00:10:16,639 --> 00:10:17,598
Stella!

448
00:10:19,017 --> 00:10:20,893
Tony!

449
00:10:19,017 --> 00:10:20,893
Tony?

450
00:10:20,935 --> 00:10:23,145
Something I need to say.

451
00:10:23,187 --> 00:10:28,693
A long time ago,

452
00:10:23,187 --> 00:10:28,693
I let this beautiful girl

453
00:10:23,187 --> 00:10:28,693
named Stella get away.

454
00:10:28,734 --> 00:10:30,903
And now she's

455
00:10:28,734 --> 00:10:30,903
with some jerk

456
00:10:30,945 --> 00:10:34,615
who doesn't appreciate

457
00:10:30,945 --> 00:10:34,615
what he has in this

458
00:10:30,945 --> 00:10:34,615
beautiful, wedding bride.

459
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,159
Oh!

460
00:10:37,201 --> 00:10:40,120
What is wrong

461
00:10:37,201 --> 00:10:40,120
with you people?

462
00:10:40,162 --> 00:10:44,208
You can't talk

463
00:10:40,162 --> 00:10:44,208
to me like that.

464
00:10:40,162 --> 00:10:44,208
I'm Ted Mosley!

465
00:10:44,249 --> 00:10:45,376
Did he say Ted

466
00:10:44,249 --> 00:10:45,376
that time?

467
00:10:47,045 --> 00:10:50,172
Stella, I promised

468
00:10:47,045 --> 00:10:50,172
to make you my wife.

469
00:10:50,214 --> 00:10:53,425
And I'd like to live up

470
00:10:50,214 --> 00:10:53,425
to that promise.

471
00:10:53,467 --> 00:10:58,806
Oh, Tony, all I've wanted

472
00:10:53,467 --> 00:10:58,806
all my life was your love.

473
00:10:58,848 --> 00:11:00,892
Oh, go on, honey.

474
00:10:58,848 --> 00:11:00,892
Kiss him.

475
00:11:00,933 --> 00:11:03,185
Kiss him,

476
00:11:00,933 --> 00:11:03,185
kiss him, kiss him...

477
00:11:03,227 --> 00:11:08,107
Stella, if you still

478
00:11:03,227 --> 00:11:08,107
truly love me,

479
00:11:08,148 --> 00:11:11,151
can you let me make you

480
00:11:08,148 --> 00:11:11,151
my wedding bride?

481
00:11:14,321 --> 00:11:16,281
Can-do's-ville, babydoll.

482
00:11:20,703 --> 00:11:23,455
No! No! No!

483
00:11:20,703 --> 00:11:23,455
Stop doing that!

484
00:11:23,497 --> 00:11:24,665
Daddy!

485
00:11:27,626 --> 00:11:29,211
Take that, Ted Mosby.

486
00:11:32,506 --> 00:11:34,675
Okay, he definitely

487
00:11:32,506 --> 00:11:34,675
said it that time.

488
00:11:46,854 --> 00:11:49,231
Oh, my God.

489
00:11:49,273 --> 00:11:53,527
That was so good!

490
00:11:49,273 --> 00:11:53,527
I'm laughing.

491
00:11:49,273 --> 00:11:53,527
I'm crying.

492
00:11:53,569 --> 00:11:57,239
I know it's all fake,

493
00:11:53,569 --> 00:11:57,239
but didn't those seem

494
00:11:53,569 --> 00:11:57,239
like real characters?

495
00:11:57,281 --> 00:12:00,242
It was just so real.

496
00:12:00,284 --> 00:12:03,621
Hey, how come

497
00:12:00,284 --> 00:12:03,621
you said "oh, no"

498
00:12:00,284 --> 00:12:03,621
when the movie started?

499
00:12:03,662 --> 00:12:06,582
That's when

500
00:12:03,662 --> 00:12:06,582
I realized everyone has

501
00:12:03,662 --> 00:12:06,582
baggage, including me.

502
00:12:10,461 --> 00:12:13,338
Oh, uh, no reason.

503
00:12:13,380 --> 00:12:15,340
Ted, I think you

504
00:12:13,380 --> 00:12:15,340
need to tell Royce

505
00:12:15,382 --> 00:12:17,593
the story

506
00:12:15,382 --> 00:12:17,593
of what happened

507
00:12:15,382 --> 00:12:17,593
with you and Stella.

508
00:12:17,635 --> 00:12:19,637
It's gonna come out

509
00:12:17,635 --> 00:12:19,637
eventually.

510
00:12:19,678 --> 00:12:22,264
Why? Why does it

511
00:12:19,678 --> 00:12:22,264
even have to?

512
00:12:22,306 --> 00:12:25,810
Well, for starters, it's now

513
00:12:22,306 --> 00:12:25,810
the fifth highest-grossing

514
00:12:22,306 --> 00:12:25,810
movie of all time.

515
00:12:27,311 --> 00:12:29,981
I don't care. I don't care.

516
00:12:27,311 --> 00:12:29,981
I'm taking this to the grave.

517
00:12:30,022 --> 00:12:32,066
It's a stupid

518
00:12:30,022 --> 00:12:32,066
movie, anyway.

519
00:12:32,108 --> 00:12:33,358
Sounds terrible.

520
00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:35,069
My gosh, I would never go

521
00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:35,069
and see that film.

522
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:38,864
Kids,

523
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:38,864
you know where

524
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:38,864
this is going.

525
00:12:38,906 --> 00:12:42,409
Well, she's made

526
00:12:38,906 --> 00:12:42,409
her choice.

527
00:12:42,451 --> 00:12:44,578
Don't worry.

528
00:12:42,451 --> 00:12:44,578
I won't go

529
00:12:42,451 --> 00:12:44,578
to the wedding.

530
00:12:44,620 --> 00:12:47,289
Oh, you'll go all right.

531
00:12:47,331 --> 00:12:50,292
I'm gonna drive you there

532
00:12:47,331 --> 00:12:50,292
myself and make you watch.

533
00:12:52,711 --> 00:12:56,256
Billy, no! The code.

534
00:12:56,298 --> 00:12:58,258
This is exactly

535
00:12:56,298 --> 00:12:58,258
how it happened.

536
00:12:58,300 --> 00:13:00,302
He got every part right.

537
00:13:00,344 --> 00:13:03,430
Even that thing

538
00:13:00,344 --> 00:13:03,430
with the nunchucks.

539
00:13:03,472 --> 00:13:05,307
So I was resolved to

540
00:13:03,472 --> 00:13:05,307
put The Wedding Bride

541
00:13:05,349 --> 00:13:07,309
as far behind me

542
00:13:05,349 --> 00:13:07,309
as possible.

543
00:13:07,351 --> 00:13:08,435
Unfortunately...

544
00:13:08,477 --> 00:13:09,436
Oh! How great was

545
00:13:08,477 --> 00:13:09,436
The Wedding Bride?

546
00:13:11,022 --> 00:13:12,439
Loved it! Loved it!

547
00:13:11,022 --> 00:13:12,439
Loved it! Loved it!

548
00:13:12,481 --> 00:13:14,192
We're going to see it

549
00:13:12,481 --> 00:13:14,192
again tomorrow.

550
00:13:14,233 --> 00:13:15,609
Ooh! Can we come?

551
00:13:14,233 --> 00:13:15,609
Ted, you wanna

552
00:13:14,233 --> 00:13:15,609
see it again, right?

553
00:13:15,651 --> 00:13:17,611
Yeah. It was good.

554
00:13:17,653 --> 00:13:21,657
"Good"? Try instant classic.

555
00:13:17,653 --> 00:13:21,657
The only thing wrong with it,

556
00:13:21,699 --> 00:13:25,036
and I mean,

557
00:13:21,699 --> 00:13:25,036
it's such a minor flaw in

558
00:13:21,699 --> 00:13:25,036
an otherwise flawless film,

559
00:13:25,077 --> 00:13:28,372
is I just didn't get

560
00:13:25,077 --> 00:13:28,372
why Stella would even wanna

561
00:13:25,077 --> 00:13:28,372
marry a guy like Jed Mosley

562
00:13:28,413 --> 00:13:33,335
in the first place.

563
00:13:28,413 --> 00:13:33,335
I mean, even that

564
00:13:28,413 --> 00:13:33,335
guy's name, Jed Mosley.

565
00:13:33,377 --> 00:13:36,338
Come on, Royce.

566
00:13:33,377 --> 00:13:36,338
You've dated a few

567
00:13:33,377 --> 00:13:36,338
Jed Mosleys in your day.

568
00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:38,590
Well, okay.

569
00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:38,590
But who hasn't?

570
00:13:38,632 --> 00:13:41,135
He's such a type.

571
00:13:38,632 --> 00:13:41,135
The butterfly tattoo,

572
00:13:41,177 --> 00:13:43,345
the way he pronounces

573
00:13:41,177 --> 00:13:43,345
encyclopedia.

574
00:13:43,387 --> 00:13:45,389
Encyclopaedia.

575
00:13:43,387 --> 00:13:45,389
Encyclopaedia.

576
00:13:45,430 --> 00:13:47,349
Totally. Totally.

577
00:13:47,391 --> 00:13:49,351
All right,

578
00:13:47,391 --> 00:13:49,351
well, technically,

579
00:13:47,391 --> 00:13:49,351
that is the correct...

580
00:13:49,393 --> 00:13:52,938
I was so, so happy

581
00:13:49,393 --> 00:13:52,938
when that loser got left at

582
00:13:49,393 --> 00:13:52,938
the altar, and you know why?

583
00:13:52,980 --> 00:13:54,606
Because he

584
00:13:52,980 --> 00:13:54,606
had it coming.

585
00:13:52,980 --> 00:13:54,606
Mmm-hmm.

586
00:13:54,648 --> 00:13:56,525
And the great part

587
00:13:54,648 --> 00:13:56,525
is he is gonna live

588
00:13:56,567 --> 00:14:00,571
a long, sad life,

589
00:13:56,567 --> 00:14:00,571
knowing that he lost his

590
00:13:56,567 --> 00:14:00,571
only chance at happiness.

591
00:14:00,612 --> 00:14:03,323
Oh! What about

592
00:14:00,612 --> 00:14:03,323
when he got beat up

593
00:14:00,612 --> 00:14:03,323
by the goat?

594
00:14:04,616 --> 00:14:07,036
So funny.

595
00:14:04,616 --> 00:14:07,036
What a loser.

596
00:14:07,078 --> 00:14:11,373
Totally! I mean,

597
00:14:07,078 --> 00:14:11,373
the guy's life was shattered

598
00:14:07,078 --> 00:14:11,373
in a very public humiliation.

599
00:14:11,415 --> 00:14:13,709
What a hoot!

600
00:14:13,751 --> 00:14:17,546
And it may be years before

601
00:14:13,751 --> 00:14:17,546
he can look certain family

602
00:14:13,751 --> 00:14:17,546
members in the eye again.

603
00:14:17,588 --> 00:14:19,381
He may be so

604
00:14:17,588 --> 00:14:19,381
emotionally traumatized

605
00:14:19,423 --> 00:14:22,384
he never fully

606
00:14:19,423 --> 00:14:22,384
loves or trusts

607
00:14:19,423 --> 00:14:22,384
anyone ever again.

608
00:14:22,426 --> 00:14:24,511
That's hysterical.

609
00:14:24,553 --> 00:14:27,223
Move over, Adolf Hitler.

610
00:14:24,553 --> 00:14:27,223
There's a new king of comedy.

611
00:14:29,225 --> 00:14:31,518
Ted, are you okay?

612
00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:34,021
Yeah. I just think you

613
00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:34,021
all might be interested

614
00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:34,021
to learn something about

615
00:14:34,063 --> 00:14:37,024
that movie

616
00:14:34,063 --> 00:14:37,024
y'all love so much.

617
00:14:40,444 --> 00:14:44,364
It sucks. And you're

618
00:14:40,444 --> 00:14:44,364
all stupid for liking it.

619
00:14:46,242 --> 00:14:49,536
Wow. That was really mean.

620
00:14:46,242 --> 00:14:49,536
I think you owe us an apology.

621
00:14:53,665 --> 00:14:55,375
No-can-do's-ville, babydoll.

622
00:14:56,460 --> 00:14:58,420
No-can-do's-ville.

623
00:15:05,385 --> 00:15:08,430
You said,

624
00:15:05,385 --> 00:15:08,430
"No-can-do's-ville,

625
00:15:05,385 --> 00:15:08,430
babydoll"?

626
00:15:08,472 --> 00:15:11,225
You actually used

627
00:15:08,472 --> 00:15:11,225
Jed Mosley's catchphrase?

628
00:15:11,267 --> 00:15:13,518
I know. I was just

629
00:15:11,267 --> 00:15:13,518
so upset that...

630
00:15:15,229 --> 00:15:16,438
How do you know

631
00:15:15,229 --> 00:15:16,438
that's his catchphrase?

632
00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:18,023
You said it was

633
00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:18,023
his catchphrase.

634
00:15:18,065 --> 00:15:19,524
They dragged me to it.

635
00:15:18,065 --> 00:15:19,524
I didn't wanna go.

636
00:15:19,566 --> 00:15:21,443
I wanted to see

637
00:15:19,566 --> 00:15:21,443
Avatar again.

638
00:15:19,566 --> 00:15:21,443
All right, that's it.

639
00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:23,695
I'm just gonna move to some

640
00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:23,695
country where no one's seen

641
00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:23,695
The Wedding Bride.

642
00:15:23,737 --> 00:15:26,949
Good luck, Ted.

643
00:15:23,737 --> 00:15:26,949
That movie is worldwide.

644
00:15:23,737 --> 00:15:26,949
It's huge.

645
00:15:26,991 --> 00:15:28,742
Maybe North Korea.

646
00:15:26,991 --> 00:15:28,742
Nope.

647
00:15:28,784 --> 00:15:32,204
I read that Kim Jong II

648
00:15:28,784 --> 00:15:32,204
said it was his second

649
00:15:28,784 --> 00:15:32,204
favorite movie of all time.

650
00:15:32,246 --> 00:15:35,624
Right behind a movie of him

651
00:15:32,246 --> 00:15:35,624
riding a horse in slow motion

652
00:15:32,246 --> 00:15:35,624
through a field of turnips.

653
00:15:35,666 --> 00:15:37,918
Sorry, Ted.

654
00:15:35,666 --> 00:15:37,918
You're screwed.

655
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:41,005
No. You know what?

656
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:41,005
No, Ted is not screwed.

657
00:15:41,046 --> 00:15:43,465
All right,

658
00:15:41,046 --> 00:15:43,465
do you guys wanna know

659
00:15:41,046 --> 00:15:43,465
why I'm nice to everyone?

660
00:15:43,507 --> 00:15:45,759
It's because I don't

661
00:15:43,507 --> 00:15:45,759
care about baggage.

662
00:15:45,801 --> 00:15:48,220
I mean, most people,

663
00:15:45,801 --> 00:15:48,220
they see another person

664
00:15:45,801 --> 00:15:48,220
walking down the street

665
00:15:48,262 --> 00:15:51,223
with that big heavy bag

666
00:15:48,262 --> 00:15:51,223
they're carrying,

667
00:15:48,262 --> 00:15:51,223
and they just walk on by.

668
00:15:51,265 --> 00:15:53,475
But not me.

669
00:15:51,265 --> 00:15:53,475
I look at them,

670
00:15:51,265 --> 00:15:53,475
and I say...

671
00:15:53,517 --> 00:15:56,979
I say, "Howdy, stranger.

672
00:15:53,517 --> 00:15:56,979
Can I give you a hand

673
00:15:53,517 --> 00:15:56,979
with that?"

674
00:15:57,021 --> 00:16:01,233
And you know who

675
00:15:57,021 --> 00:16:01,233
taught me to be that way?

676
00:15:57,021 --> 00:16:01,233
A guy called Ted Mosby.

677
00:16:01,275 --> 00:16:05,737
A guy who's

678
00:16:01,275 --> 00:16:05,737
uncynical and sincere

679
00:16:01,275 --> 00:16:05,737
and believed in things.

680
00:16:05,779 --> 00:16:09,783
And you know what, Ted?

681
00:16:05,779 --> 00:16:09,783
I believe that deep down,

682
00:16:05,779 --> 00:16:09,783
you're still that guy.

683
00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:12,536
I am still that guy.

684
00:16:12,577 --> 00:16:14,413
I think you

685
00:16:12,577 --> 00:16:14,413
wanna go out there

686
00:16:12,577 --> 00:16:14,413
and get that girl.

687
00:16:14,454 --> 00:16:15,998
I do wanna go out there

688
00:16:14,454 --> 00:16:15,998
and get that girl.

689
00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:17,499
Because she's

690
00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:17,499
the love of your life!

691
00:16:17,541 --> 00:16:19,501
Because she's...

692
00:16:19,543 --> 00:16:21,545
Well, okay, let's...

693
00:16:19,543 --> 00:16:21,545
We're three dates in.

694
00:16:19,543 --> 00:16:21,545
She seems nice.

695
00:16:21,586 --> 00:16:22,546
Because she seems nice!

696
00:16:22,587 --> 00:16:25,174
She does seem nice!

697
00:16:25,216 --> 00:16:27,467
You're right, Marshall.

698
00:16:25,216 --> 00:16:27,467
I gotta go get her.

699
00:16:29,553 --> 00:16:31,722
And I know exactly

700
00:16:29,553 --> 00:16:31,722
where she is.

701
00:16:34,558 --> 00:16:38,396
The wedding's

702
00:16:34,558 --> 00:16:38,396
in 15 minutes.

703
00:16:34,558 --> 00:16:38,396
I'll never make it.

704
00:16:38,437 --> 00:16:40,522
You can do it, sensei.

705
00:16:40,564 --> 00:16:45,319
Go give love

706
00:16:40,564 --> 00:16:45,319
a roundhouse kick

707
00:16:40,564 --> 00:16:45,319
right in the heart.

708
00:16:45,361 --> 00:16:46,820
You're right.

709
00:16:45,361 --> 00:16:46,820
What am I doing?

710
00:16:48,155 --> 00:16:49,365
There's still time.

711
00:17:08,217 --> 00:17:10,510
Do you, Stella,

712
00:17:08,217 --> 00:17:10,510
take Jed Mosley

713
00:17:10,552 --> 00:17:12,137
to be your

714
00:17:10,552 --> 00:17:12,137
lawfully-wedded husband?

715
00:17:13,638 --> 00:17:15,349
I...

716
00:17:17,351 --> 00:17:18,560
Royce?

717
00:17:17,351 --> 00:17:18,560
Stella?

718
00:17:18,602 --> 00:17:20,312
Ted?

719
00:17:18,602 --> 00:17:20,312
Tony!

720
00:17:20,354 --> 00:17:21,939
Tony?

721
00:17:20,354 --> 00:17:21,939
Ted?

722
00:17:21,980 --> 00:17:23,357
Barney?

723
00:17:24,608 --> 00:17:26,526
Something I need to say.

724
00:17:26,568 --> 00:17:28,320
Look, there's

725
00:17:26,568 --> 00:17:28,320
something I need to say.

726
00:17:28,362 --> 00:17:30,197
A long time ago...

727
00:17:28,362 --> 00:17:30,197
A long time ago,

728
00:17:30,239 --> 00:17:32,074
I let a horrible

729
00:17:30,239 --> 00:17:32,074
girl named Stella...

730
00:17:32,116 --> 00:17:33,117
I let this

731
00:17:32,116 --> 00:17:33,117
beautiful girl

732
00:17:32,116 --> 00:17:33,117
named Stella...

733
00:17:33,158 --> 00:17:35,744
break my heart.

734
00:17:33,158 --> 00:17:35,744
get away.

735
00:17:35,786 --> 00:17:37,579
And now she's

736
00:17:35,786 --> 00:17:37,579
with some jerk...

737
00:17:35,786 --> 00:17:37,579
And now she's with this jerk

738
00:17:37,621 --> 00:17:38,789
who wrote a movie

739
00:17:37,621 --> 00:17:38,789
about it and...

740
00:17:38,830 --> 00:17:39,873
who doesn't

741
00:17:38,830 --> 00:17:39,873
appreciate what he has

742
00:17:39,915 --> 00:17:41,583
in this beautiful,

743
00:17:39,915 --> 00:17:41,583
wedding bride.

744
00:17:41,625 --> 00:17:43,085
that movie is called

745
00:17:41,625 --> 00:17:43,085
The Wedding Bride.

746
00:17:43,127 --> 00:17:44,420
What are you saying?

747
00:17:44,462 --> 00:17:46,505
You can't

748
00:17:44,462 --> 00:17:46,505
talk to me like that.

749
00:17:46,546 --> 00:17:48,673
I'm Jed Mosley!

750
00:17:46,546 --> 00:17:48,673
I'm Jed Mosley.

751
00:17:46,546 --> 00:17:48,673
But, Royce...

752
00:17:48,715 --> 00:17:50,092
This girl

753
00:17:48,715 --> 00:17:50,092
in the white

754
00:17:48,715 --> 00:17:50,092
wedding dress...

755
00:17:50,134 --> 00:17:51,593
this doofus in

756
00:17:50,134 --> 00:17:51,593
the red cowboy boots,

757
00:17:51,635 --> 00:17:52,803
this isn't me.

758
00:17:51,635 --> 00:17:52,803
this isn't you.

759
00:17:52,844 --> 00:17:54,472
So, just to be clear,

760
00:17:54,513 --> 00:17:55,847
are you saying that

761
00:17:54,513 --> 00:17:55,847
you don't have a pair

762
00:17:55,889 --> 00:17:57,391
of red cowboy boots

763
00:17:55,889 --> 00:17:57,391
in your closet?

764
00:17:57,433 --> 00:17:59,518
Barney, what...

765
00:17:59,559 --> 00:18:01,270
Well, I just wanted...

766
00:17:59,559 --> 00:18:01,270
I mean, that's...

767
00:17:59,559 --> 00:18:01,270
Everyone wants to know.

768
00:18:01,312 --> 00:18:02,938
They're actually

769
00:18:01,312 --> 00:18:02,938
more of a burgundy.

770
00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:06,191
Royce...

771
00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:06,191
Stella,

772
00:18:06,233 --> 00:18:07,109
I promised to

773
00:18:06,233 --> 00:18:07,109
make you my wife.

774
00:18:07,151 --> 00:18:08,902
I promised to

775
00:18:07,151 --> 00:18:08,902
make you some pancakes.

776
00:18:08,944 --> 00:18:10,654
And I'd like to live up

777
00:18:08,944 --> 00:18:10,654
to that promise.

778
00:18:10,695 --> 00:18:12,614
And I'd like to live up

779
00:18:10,695 --> 00:18:12,614
to that promise.

780
00:18:12,656 --> 00:18:14,158
Tony, all I've

781
00:18:12,656 --> 00:18:14,158
wanted all my life...

782
00:18:14,199 --> 00:18:15,909
Ted, all I've

783
00:18:14,199 --> 00:18:15,909
wanted all week...

784
00:18:15,951 --> 00:18:20,122
was your love.

785
00:18:15,951 --> 00:18:20,122
was some pancakes.

786
00:18:20,164 --> 00:18:22,624
Go on, honey.

787
00:18:20,164 --> 00:18:22,624
Kiss him.

788
00:18:20,164 --> 00:18:22,624
Go on, honey. Kiss him.

789
00:18:22,666 --> 00:18:24,626
Kiss him, kiss him...

790
00:18:22,666 --> 00:18:24,626
Kiss him, kiss him...

791
00:18:24,668 --> 00:18:26,170
Um, Uncle Barney

792
00:18:24,668 --> 00:18:26,170
didn't say "kiss."

793
00:18:26,211 --> 00:18:29,756
Kiss him! Kiss him!

794
00:18:26,211 --> 00:18:29,756
Kiss him!

795
00:18:29,798 --> 00:18:31,758
Still not saying "kiss."

796
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:34,345
Sir, you need

797
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:34,345
to leave, now!

798
00:18:34,386 --> 00:18:37,139
This is outrageous!

799
00:18:34,386 --> 00:18:37,139
Who the kiss are you?

800
00:18:37,181 --> 00:18:39,099
Stella, if you still

801
00:18:37,181 --> 00:18:39,099
truly love me...

802
00:18:39,141 --> 00:18:42,561
Royce, if you still

803
00:18:39,141 --> 00:18:42,561
kind of like me...

804
00:18:42,602 --> 00:18:46,064
can you

805
00:18:42,602 --> 00:18:46,064
let me make you

806
00:18:42,602 --> 00:18:46,064
my wedding bride?

807
00:18:46,106 --> 00:18:47,607
can you

808
00:18:46,106 --> 00:18:47,607
let me make you

809
00:18:46,106 --> 00:18:47,607
some pancakes?

810
00:18:50,944 --> 00:18:52,571
Can-do's-ville, babydoll.

811
00:18:50,944 --> 00:18:52,571
Can-do's-ville, babydoll.

812
00:19:00,704 --> 00:19:02,664
No! No! No!

813
00:19:00,704 --> 00:19:02,664
Stop doing that!

814
00:19:02,706 --> 00:19:05,667
Kiss this.

815
00:19:02,706 --> 00:19:05,667
Kissing movie's

816
00:19:02,706 --> 00:19:05,667
over, anyway.

817
00:19:05,709 --> 00:19:06,668
Sir!

818
00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:07,752
Oh. Oops, oops!

819
00:19:17,721 --> 00:19:18,680
Hey,

820
00:19:21,099 --> 00:19:23,477
that stuff that

821
00:19:21,099 --> 00:19:23,477
happened to me,

822
00:19:23,519 --> 00:19:26,564
it was pretty rough.

823
00:19:23,519 --> 00:19:26,564
I'm still getting over it.

824
00:19:27,731 --> 00:19:29,024
Let me help you with that.

825
00:19:32,528 --> 00:19:34,154
And just

826
00:19:32,528 --> 00:19:34,154
like that, kids,

827
00:19:34,196 --> 00:19:37,366
my baggage didn't seem

828
00:19:34,196 --> 00:19:37,366
quite so heavy anymore.

829
00:19:37,408 --> 00:19:40,244
You see, everyone's

830
00:19:37,408 --> 00:19:40,244
got some baggage.

831
00:19:37,408 --> 00:19:40,244
It's part of life.

832
00:19:40,285 --> 00:19:42,454
But like anything else,

833
00:19:42,496 --> 00:19:43,705
it's easier when

834
00:19:42,496 --> 00:19:43,705
someone gives you

835
00:19:42,496 --> 00:19:43,705
a hand with it.

836
00:19:50,754 --> 00:19:53,715
Wow, it feels so good

837
00:19:50,754 --> 00:19:53,715
to have told you

838
00:19:50,754 --> 00:19:53,715
all that stuff about me.

839
00:19:53,757 --> 00:19:56,676
I'm really glad

840
00:19:53,757 --> 00:19:56,676
I can open up to you.

841
00:19:56,718 --> 00:19:59,263
Ted, it's not

842
00:19:56,718 --> 00:19:59,263
that big of a deal.

843
00:19:59,304 --> 00:20:00,764
Heck, I've been

844
00:19:59,304 --> 00:20:00,764
left at the altar.

845
00:20:03,141 --> 00:20:04,726
Three times.

846
00:20:06,686 --> 00:20:09,314
The last time was

847
00:20:06,686 --> 00:20:09,314
because I blew all our

848
00:20:06,686 --> 00:20:09,314
money on online poker.

849
00:20:12,150 --> 00:20:14,027
That's why I live

850
00:20:12,150 --> 00:20:14,027
with my brother now.

851
00:20:14,069 --> 00:20:17,739
Wait, I thought

852
00:20:14,069 --> 00:20:17,739
you said you had

853
00:20:14,069 --> 00:20:17,739
a tiny studio apartment.

854
00:20:17,781 --> 00:20:20,742
Yup, just the two of us.

855
00:20:17,781 --> 00:20:20,742
You should see how

856
00:20:17,781 --> 00:20:20,742
he hogs the covers.

857
00:20:26,624 --> 00:20:27,791
Yeah, you gotta go.

858
00:20:55,819 --> 00:20:56,736
ENGLISH - US - LINE 21