Kids, in my early days
of being a professor,
I had one simple goal...
give a lecture that changes
someone's life.
Then, one afternoon in 2010,
I achieved that goal.
"Unfinished."
Of all the words you could
use to describe
La Sagrada Família...
"brown,"pointy,"weird"...
the one that really seems
to stick is "unfinished."
Why? Because on June 7, 1926,
the architect,
Antoni Gaudí,
whose beard
was also brown, pointy,
weird and unfinished,
was run over by a bus.
And so,
his greatest masterpiece
would remain forever...
But first, let's back up
a few days.
Ted, look, across the bar.
Three chicks... one hot,
one kinda hot...
and one whom I'm assuming
is really funny.
We ride!
- What's wrong?
- I don't know.
Got a burger comin'.
Bro, I told you,
if you ever need a wingman,
I'm your guy.
Yeah, I'm not gonna
go through that again.
Hi. Barney Stinson.
And I'm Marshall,
Barney's wingman.
Thank you for your time.
Fine. I'll have a three-way
with Hot and Kinda Hot...
while Giggles works the camera.
I ride!
So get this.
Last night, I was watching TV,
and it turns out...
some random satellite channel
picks up a certain
local Chicago newscast.
And now the Eleven O'Clock News
with Don Frank.
Boo!
Oh, man.
It's bad enough
to have to go through
a horrible breakup.
Then to have that person
pop up on your TV?
Are you okay?
Well, I'll admit,
at first I felt a little weird.
But after the initial shock,
I realized something.
I've moved on.
Finished with that.
It was a peaceful
moment of closure.
That's great.
- Good on you.
- Yeah. Thank you.
Where's the poop,
Robin?
Excuse me?
When I was a kid,
I had a dog named Bean.
Whenever he made
the face that you're
making right now,
you just knew he pooped
somewhere in the house.
Where's the poop, Robin?
- I don't know what
you're talking about.
- Where's the poop, Robin?
- There's no poop.
- Where's the poop?
Okay.
So it wasn't entirely
a peaceful moment of closure.
Hey, Don, here's
some breaking news.
There's a zit breaking out
on your forehead.
Finished with that.
Look, I'm not proud.
But Don left so quickly
that I never got the chance
to have that final showdown.
So yelling at him,
even on TV,
felt kinda good.
And you know what?
Now I truly am over him.
That's great.
- Thank you.
- Good on you.
Where's the poop, Robin?
Damn it!
Okay, in the process
of truly getting over him,
I may have called him...
and left an...
indelicate voice mail.
I am gonna kill you.
I'm gonna fly to Chicago,
kill you,
put your stupid face
on a deep-dish pizza...
and eat it.
And then maybe catch
a Bears game.
But mostly the "killing
and eating your face" thing.
Give me your phone.
We're deleting Don's number.
Don't worry.
I am never doing that again.
It was a one-time thing.
Prove it.
"Delete contact."
There. Deleted.
Oh. Hey, wow.
Back already.
How was flying solo?
And by solo, I mean...
"so low"
that you got shot down.
Look, I didn't
get shot down.
Trust me,
I'll get the "yes."
Barney Stinson always
gets the "yes."
This is all
part of the plan.
After initial contact,
I'm now in
the ignoring phase.
Barney, why can't you just
take a girl out to dinner
like a normal person?
Golden rule: I do not buy
dinner to get the "yes."
Dinner's a very
intimate activity.
It requires
a level of connection...
and eye contact
that sex just doesn't.
Call me old-fashioned,
but I need to have
sex with a girl
at least three times...
before I'll even consider
having dinner with her.
The next day
at the university,
I had a surprise visitor.
What are you
doing here?
Oh, God!
You're dating
one of my students.
It's Rachel, isn't it?
Barney, I know she wears
provocative sweaters,
but she's 19!
Now I'm gonna have to hear
all about it, right?
Go on. Tell me every detail.
No, you pent-up old perv.
I brought you a present.
Recognize this?
It's my building.
Kids, you may remember
that a few years earlier,
I was chosen to design
the new Manhattan headquarters
for Goliath National Bank.
It was the opportunity
every architect dreams about.
And when the project
was ultimately scrapped,
it broke my heart.
Do you remember how awesome
it was to be coworkers...
nay, bro-workers?
Wait a minute.
You don't mean...
Ted Mosby, it's back on.
We're gonna build your building.
This is awesome.
You're designing
our new headquarters?
Now, there will be voices
that tell you a hockey rink
on the roof is unfeasible.
You've got to shut
those voices out.
Actually, I think
I'm gonna say no.
No? Are you kidding me?
But designing a building
in New York City...
is your lifelong dream.
I do not want to work
for GNB again.
Those guys are evil.
No offense, Marshall.
Dude, none taken.
Yes, GNB is, uh,
the Empire from Star Wars.
But the Death Star's
gonna get built either way.
And don't you think the
architect of the Death Star...
is pretty psyched to have...
that thing on his space résumé?
I mean, yes, his design was
flawed...
in the sense that a single
bullet...
fired into a particular vent
would explode the whole thing.
For all we know,
that was the contractor's fault.
But that won't happen
on your watch. You know why?
Because you're Ted Mosby,
and you are gonna design...
the most beautiful, ventless,
Rebel-proof building
in Manhattan.
With clearly marked
emergency stops...
for every trash compactor
on the detention level.
Look, I know this is
hard to understand,
but right now I have a quiet,
simple, happy little life.
And I like it that way.
I know what my answer has to be.
I can't take the job,
Barney.
I'm done with that life.
No hard feelings?
Of course not.
All right.
Hey, Professor Mosby.
Hey, Rachel.
And I thought that was
the end of the story.
- But then that night...
- I'm telling you,
no architect would ever design
a giant exposed vent...
right over a Death Star's
core reactor.
That's Space Architecture 101.
It had to be the contractor.
Barney, come on. Back me up.
Barney?
Dude, this is important.
I need another drink.
Marshall, you want anything?
Uh, no. I'm fine.
Okay, I get that he's mad at me
for turning down the job, but
acting like I'm not even here?
Wait. You turned down
the job? When?
This morning.
That's so weird.
Just, like, an hour ago
when we were leaving work...
So, uh, you still think
Ted's gonna take the job?
Please.
I'll get the "yes."
Barney Stinson always...
gets the "yes."
Huh.
Am I wrong, or is that
exactly what Barney says...
when he's putting
the moves on a girl?
Exactly. I mean,
it's almost like he's
putting the moves on you.
Yeah, more like the opposite.
He's been ignoring me all night.
- Oh!
Barney wants me
to take the job so bad,
he's putting the moves on me?
I hope that's his endgame.
Actually, I don't.
I like you two together.
I don't buy it.
That's crazy even for Barney.
Okay, well, think about it.
We've seen his moves
countless times.
What does he do after
he's done ignoring a girl?
- Chrissy, I love your glasses.
- Really?
They totally pull focus up
from that whole chin
situation you got going on.
To Chrissy!
The backhanded compliment
to lower her self-esteem.
A proven winner.
But Barney hasn't done...
Ted,
I admire your loyalty.
You've had
that hairstyle forever.
You don't care
that it's out of fashion...
or that it's been co-opted
by the lesbian community.
You stick with it.
To Ted.
Hey, Lily.
Don't "Hey, Lily" me.
I smelled poop all the way
from the hallway.
No, not this again.
Where's the poop, Robin?
Okay, I left Don
another message.
"This just in"...
is what I'm gonna say
when I'm stabbing you.
But that's impossible.
You deleted his number.
I tried to, but then this
thing popped up on my phone
that said, "Are you sure?"
And I wasn't sure.
I can't lie to my phone.
Ooh, sweetie,
I totally understand.
Delete it!
It's not that easy, okay?
You're not just deleting
a number. You're deleting
a part of your life.
You know, all those memories,
all those experiences.
It's like you're admitting
they're gone forever.
I know, sweetie.
I know.
Delete it!
Okay. If it's that easy,
I'm gonna delete one of your
numbers from your phone.
See how you like it.
My "plezh"!
If you can find a number
in there that I don't
call regularly,
I'll gladly delete it.
"Super Kicks Karate."
Oh, not that one.
That's my dojo.
You have a dojo?
I took an introductory
karate class.
Oops! Wrong room.
Where do the grown-ups go
for the real karate class?
What's the matter, lady?
You scared?
Of you? Please.
I'm a kindergarten teacher.
I hated kindergarten...
all three times.
But I'm totally gonna
sign up for more lessons.
How long ago did you
take that class?
I don't know.
It was around the time...
when everyone was going,
"Whassup?"
How do you even remember that?
Whassup!
Lily, this is a number
that you will never dial again.
I might.
No. No. But you
keep it on your phone...
because it reminds you
of a version of yourself
that you could be,
even if it's
a version of yourself
that you'll never become.
And that's okay.
No, it's not.
Okay, you know what?
There. Gone.
Your move, Scherbatsky.
I finally know
what your kind goes through.
I get it now.
For the last time,
I don't care how big it was.
It is not the same
as giving birth.
Ew. No.
Barney's been
"putting the moves" on Ted.
- Oh, that sucks.
Although I like
you two together.
Mmm.
No. He's been doing it...
to try to get Ted
to design the new GNB Tower.
Which moves
are we talking about?
Did he do that thing...
where he brags on himself
in the form of a complaint?
Man. Every time
I take out my business card
and women see the GNB logo,
they throw themselves at me.
I miss the chase.
It sucks!
Man, the courtside Knicks
seats that are available...
to all upper-level
GNB employees are
too close to the action!
I keep getting sweat
on my suit.
It sucks!
Man, GNB's benefits package
is so comprehensive...
it gives me the freedom
to see any doctor I want.
It sucks!
- He did.
- And the intense
eye contact thing?
So, Ted, would you like to
split some jalapeño poppers?
Uh, o-okay.
Yep.
And the thing where
he establishes intimacy...
through physical contact?
You know why jalapeño poppers
are so good?
It's the cream cheese.
That is so true.
Yep.
Cream cheese is
a mild flav-flavor,
so it...
it balances out
the spiciness of the jal...
the spiciness of the...
the...
Dude!
So at any point in this,
did you say,
"Barney, I know what you're
doing, and it's not gonna work.
I am not taking that job"?
I... Well, I mean,
not exactly in those...
- You're loving this.
- No.
You are.
You're loving the attention.
It's nice to be wanted,
okay?
And, yes, this is a new vest.
Thank you all for noticing.
Oh, that's right.
You didn't. Barney did.
Oh, Teddy, you are so
gonna spread your legs
and design that building.
I am not
that kind of architect.
So get this.
Robin never deleted
Don's number.
Boo!
Oh! Oh, everyone thinks
it's so easy.
Give me your phone.
Let's delete one of yours.
Uh, okay.
Mmm.
No problem.
If you can find a number
that I don't need or shouldn't
have in here, be my guest.
But good luck.
I keep my phone tight.
- Edwin.
- Oh, no. Not that one.
That's the booker
for the club
that my band plays at.
You know,
my all-lawyer funk band.
You remember.
The Funk, the Whole Funk
and Nothing but the Funk.
Ha!
Funky!
Kick it.
You guys played one gig
four years ago.
I'm deleting it.
No. No.
We're gonna play another gig
again, probably really soon.
Just we all got
super busy and...
We're not gonna play
another gig again, are we?
Probably not, baby.
See, it's hard to hit
that delete button, isn't it?
Well, it's just that
without that number
in my phone,
I'm just a corporate lawyer
working 60 very un-funky
hours a week.
Sorry, Marshall.
If I have to, you have to.
Okay. Your turn.
Barney, I gotta
tell you something.
Oh. That reminds me...
I got you...
a little airplane.
It represents
the spirit of adventure.
Do you like it, Ted?
Do you?
Stop it. Stop looking at me
like I'm the only person
in the world who matters.
I'm not designing
the GNB Tower.
Yeah. I know.
You turned it down.
We hired someone else.
Oh.
Can you believe it?
He's resorting to the oldest
move in the book...
the classic "pretend to take
the offer off the table
so I'll want it more."
So obvious, right?
As if that's gonna
make me be, like, "Oh, God,
I never should have said no."
It's not a move, dude.
I executed the paperwork
for the new architect
this morning.
Barney wasn't lying.
Oh, God, I never
should have said no!
Come on.
GNB didn't really
hire a new architect.
This is just
one of Barney's moves.
It's not a move, dude.
The senior partners
were getting impatient.
I thought you didn't even
want the job.
I didn't.
I don't.
Okay, I'll do it.
What?
Ted, it's too late.
I'll design it for half
of what you're paying
the other architect.
And you know I will do stuff
they would never do.
Lobby stuff.
Wow. Half?
Ted, on behalf of
Goliath National Bank...
- Okay, it's a move.
- What?
- Dude!
- There's no other architect.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I lied.
I was being Barney's wingman,
and I never get to be
the wingman.
You guys lied to me?
You're the world's
worst wingman.
You know what?
I'm out of here.
I can do better.
Take me back.
You son of a bitch!
Look, I can't do business
with people who lie to me.
We only lied to you
to make you realize
that you want this job.
No, I don't. I mean,
I-I know I said I did,
but that's only because
I fell for the same...
creepy pickup artist voodoo
of yours that countless women...
236.
before me fell for.
Wow. Respect.
No. Ted, you want
to do this, okay?
You're just scared
of getting hurt again.
But you can't let fear
steal your funk.
That is good.
There is a song in there.
Excuse me.
Come on, Ted.
This is your dream.
No. It's not.
Not anymore.
And you know what?
Letting go of that dream
was the best decision
I ever made.
You guys actually think
I have some lingering itch
to be an architect,
work 20 hours a day
and weekends to get ulcers...
and pull my hair out and worry
and doubt myself, and then,
at the end of it all,
have the rug pulled out
from under me?
I love being a professor,
okay?
All that stupid crap they
tell you about how fulfilling
teaching is... it's all true.
I'm happy, and I'm not
letting go of that.
My answer's no.
Hey, guys.
- Where's the poop, Robin?
- How do you do that?
God, you are like
a bomb-sniffing dog,
except with poop.
You're a poop-sniffing dog.
I think that's
just called a dog.
Where's the poop, Robin?
Fine. I called Don again.
Hey, Don, it's Robin again.
Uh, look, I am sorry
for all the calls.
It's just
I saw you on the news,
and it made me
a little crazy for a minute.
I guess I wasn't as over
our breakup as I thought.
Um, but I want to say
from the bottom of my heart,
I am gonna kill you.
No.
No, I'm not.
I am happy for you.
And that Asian slut
on your Facebook page...
she's dead too.
I thought you deleted
his number.
I did.
But it turns out
I memorized it.
You can't delete contacts
from your brain, Lily.
Well, you have to try.
If you ever want
to have closure...
I am never gonna
have closure.
Okay?
Closure doesn't exist.
Okay... One day, Don and I
are moving in together,
and the next thing I know,
he's on a plane to Chicago.
It just... ended.
And no matter how much I try
to forget that it happened,
it will have
never not happened.
Don and I will always
be a loose end.
We'll always be...
"Unfinished."
Gaudí, to his credit,
never gave up on his dream.
But that's not usually
how it goes.
I mean, usually it isn't
a speeding bus...
that keeps the brown,
pointy, weird church
from getting built.
Most of the time,
it's just too difficult...
or too expensive
or too scary.
It's only
once you've stopped...
that you realize how hard
it is to start again.
So you force yourself
not to want it.
But it's always there.
And until you finish it,
it will always be...
Hey, Barney.
Hey, Rachel.
Rachel, why aren't
you in class?
- Why aren't you in class?
- Yeah, Ted.
Why aren't you in class?
You son of a bitch.
I'll call Marshall.
We'll draw up the contract.
Not so fast.
I'm not that easy.
And so I made Barney
break his golden rule.
I made him
take me out to dinner...
before I finally gave him
the thing he always got.
Yes.
And even though it didn't
happen right away...
And now the Eleven O'Clock News
with Don Frank.
Bueno.
Uh, who is this?
No hablo inglés.
? Quién es?
I'm sorry.
Is this 917-456...
I'm sorry.
465... No, wait.
Huh.
Robin finally got
some closure too.
Sorry. Wrong number.
Finished with that.
Hey, punk,
bit of advice...
Next time you step on
a kindergarten teacher's neck,
you better finish the job.
I knew this day would come.
English - US - Line 21