1
00:00:01,624 --> 00:00:04,162
I cannot stop staring
at that girl's face.

2
00:00:04,163 --> 00:00:05,531
Face. Huh.

3
00:00:05,532 --> 00:00:08,003
That's your weirdest nickname
for boobs yet.

4
00:00:08,438 --> 00:00:09,539
No, Ted,

5
00:00:09,540 --> 00:00:11,176
I'm really looking at her face.

6
00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:13,648
Aw... that's actually
really sweet.

7
00:00:13,649 --> 00:00:15,051
Puffy cheeks,

8
00:00:15,052 --> 00:00:17,322
smudged mascara,

9
00:00:17,323 --> 00:00:19,059
slightly red nose...

10
00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:20,929
That girl was just crying.

11
00:00:20,930 --> 00:00:22,232
She's so sad

12
00:00:22,233 --> 00:00:23,735
and defenseless.

13
00:00:23,736 --> 00:00:25,238
Anyone have a condom?

14
00:00:25,239 --> 00:00:26,908
Oh! Oh, God! No, no, no!

15
00:00:26,909 --> 00:00:28,177
That's it!
You know what?

16
00:00:28,178 --> 00:00:29,446
Five-minute time-out!

17
00:00:29,447 --> 00:00:30,783
Corner booth! Now.

18
00:00:31,886 --> 00:00:32,920
Hey, get this.

19
00:00:32,921 --> 00:00:34,757
You know my friend
Max from law school?

20
00:00:34,758 --> 00:00:36,193
He's at Gregor's
Steakhouse downtown,

21
00:00:36,194 --> 00:00:38,364
and Woody Allen is sitting
two tables over.

22
00:00:38,365 --> 00:00:40,669
He wants us
to come check it out.

23
00:00:41,839 --> 00:00:43,708
I don't know, it could be cool.

24
00:00:43,709 --> 00:00:45,244
I've never seen Woody Allen.

25
00:00:45,245 --> 00:00:47,315
What? Robin, how can
you be a New Yorker

26
00:00:47,316 --> 00:00:49,754
and never have seen Woody Allen?
I have seen

27
00:00:49,755 --> 00:00:52,125
plenty of other famous people.

28
00:00:52,126 --> 00:00:55,666
Last week I saw... Maury Povich.

29
00:00:55,667 --> 00:00:58,270
Kids, you know talk
show host Maury Povich.

30
00:00:58,271 --> 00:01:01,510
It was uncanny
how often we saw this guy.

31
00:01:01,511 --> 00:01:02,980
Dude, everyone sees
Maury Povich.

32
00:01:02,981 --> 00:01:04,750
Maury Povich is everywhere.

33
00:01:04,751 --> 00:01:05,953
I'm sorry, Robin, but you're

34
00:01:05,954 --> 00:01:07,055
not a real New Yorker

35
00:01:07,056 --> 00:01:08,290
until you've seen Woody Allen.

36
00:01:08,291 --> 00:01:10,294
I am, too, a real New Yorker.

37
00:01:10,295 --> 00:01:11,563
That's adorable.

38
00:01:11,564 --> 00:01:13,267
You're from Canada.

39
00:01:13,268 --> 00:01:14,704
I have been here
for almost six years.

40
00:01:14,705 --> 00:01:16,440
It's not like
I just got off a boat.

41
00:01:16,441 --> 00:01:17,508
A boat!

42
00:01:17,509 --> 00:01:20,716
Oh, wait, that is
how you say it.

43
00:01:20,717 --> 00:01:22,820
I'd say you're not a real New
Yorker until you've stolen a cab

44
00:01:22,821 --> 00:01:24,456
from someone who needs it
more than you do.

45
00:01:24,457 --> 00:01:27,495
No, you're not a real New Yorker
till you've cried on the subway

46
00:01:27,496 --> 00:01:29,266
and not given a damn
what anyone thinks.

47
00:01:29,267 --> 00:01:30,836
No, you're not
a real New Yorker

48
00:01:30,837 --> 00:01:32,840
until you've killed a cockroach
with your bare hands.

49
00:01:32,841 --> 00:01:34,644
Those rules
are all stupid, okay?

50
00:01:34,645 --> 00:01:36,748
I've never done
any of those things.

51
00:01:36,749 --> 00:01:38,083
By the end of this day,

52
00:01:38,084 --> 00:01:40,521
Robin would have done
all of those things.

53
00:01:40,522 --> 00:01:41,390
Okay, time's up.

54
00:01:41,391 --> 00:01:42,860
What are we talking about?

55
00:01:42,861 --> 00:01:44,162
Woody Allen is
eating at Gregor's,

56
00:01:44,163 --> 00:01:46,233
and Robin thinks that
we should go see him.

57
00:01:46,234 --> 00:01:47,235
Why would I do that?

58
00:01:47,236 --> 00:01:48,705
I'll see him at
poker on Tuesday.

59
00:01:48,706 --> 00:01:50,474
Oh, come on,
if we jump in a cab,

60
00:01:50,475 --> 00:01:51,711
we'll be there in 15 minutes.

61
00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:53,480
A real New Yorker would
know the subway's faster.

62
00:01:53,481 --> 00:01:55,551
You just take the one,
and transfer to the two-three.

63
00:01:55,552 --> 00:01:57,690
Well, the bus runs
more often on weekends.

64
00:01:57,691 --> 00:01:59,059
Take the M-7 to the M-5.

65
00:01:59,060 --> 00:02:01,163
The bus? Every time
I take the bus,

66
00:02:01,164 --> 00:02:04,069
there is one crazy person
no one wants to sit near.

67
00:02:04,070 --> 00:02:06,173
That's why I have
never taken the bus.

68
00:02:06,174 --> 00:02:07,342
Plus...

69
00:02:07,343 --> 00:02:09,981
I can run faster
than a bus.

70
00:02:09,982 --> 00:02:12,318
Dude, that's, like, seven miles.

71
00:02:12,319 --> 00:02:13,822
You can't do that.

72
00:02:13,823 --> 00:02:16,293
You can't beat the bus!
I can beat

73
00:02:16,294 --> 00:02:18,999
a bus or a cab or a train!

74
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:22,071
Is anyone else suddenly
craving green eggs and ham?

75
00:02:22,072 --> 00:02:25,378
Machines are overrated, and someone
needs to take them down a peg.

76
00:02:25,379 --> 00:02:28,651
You're all wrong... I got a way to get
there so fast, I could beat all of you,

77
00:02:28,652 --> 00:02:29,486
even if I

78
00:02:29,487 --> 00:02:30,655
sat down and ordered

79
00:02:30,656 --> 00:02:32,125
a big, juicy steak first.

80
00:02:32,126 --> 00:02:32,826
How?

81
00:02:32,827 --> 00:02:33,828
Medium rare.

82
00:02:33,829 --> 00:02:35,164
But that's not
important right now.

83
00:02:35,165 --> 00:02:37,235
Look, I know the city better
than any of you guys, okay?

84
00:02:37,236 --> 00:02:38,705
Oh, my God!
Oh, wow!

85
00:02:40,208 --> 00:02:42,512
All right, all right,
hold on, hold on!

86
00:02:42,513 --> 00:02:43,948
Let's just forget about it.

87
00:02:43,949 --> 00:02:45,986
Who cares?
I mean, there's no way

88
00:02:45,987 --> 00:02:48,490
to find out who's right anyway.

89
00:02:51,264 --> 00:02:52,565
First person there wins!

90
00:02:52,566 --> 00:02:54,269
Doesn't matter
how you get there!

91
00:02:54,270 --> 00:02:56,073
Stay sad!
I'll be back!

92
00:02:56,273 --> 00:03:06,283
Sync by InSUBs
www.addic7ed.com

93
00:03:23,231 --> 00:03:25,969
Hi. Can I see
a menu, please?

94
00:03:25,970 --> 00:03:27,672
No rush.

95
00:03:32,315 --> 00:03:34,118
Kids, I should tell you,

96
00:03:34,119 --> 00:03:36,322
Lily really needed
a win that day.

97
00:03:38,261 --> 00:03:40,564
When Marshall and Lily
decided to have a baby,

98
00:03:40,565 --> 00:03:42,434
they assumed it
would happen right away.

99
00:03:42,435 --> 00:03:43,771
It's gonna be positive.

100
00:03:43,772 --> 00:03:45,307
Eriksen man are hella fertile.

101
00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:47,946
When Uncle Morris was 16,
he got his girlfriend pregnant

102
00:03:47,947 --> 00:03:51,286
just by holding her hand too
tight in the backseat of a car.

103
00:03:51,287 --> 00:03:54,325
Now I'm thinking my
parents lied to me.

104
00:03:54,326 --> 00:03:55,594
Negative.

105
00:03:55,595 --> 00:03:57,097
As the weeks went by,

106
00:03:57,098 --> 00:03:59,268
Marshall's confidence
never wavered.

107
00:03:59,269 --> 00:04:01,740
Then it started to mess
with Lily's head.

108
00:04:02,877 --> 00:04:05,147
Negative?

109
00:04:05,148 --> 00:04:07,251
Well, we know it's not me.

110
00:04:07,252 --> 00:04:08,320
Everything's fine.

111
00:04:08,321 --> 00:04:10,591
These things take time.

112
00:04:10,592 --> 00:04:11,760
Not with an Eriksen.

113
00:04:11,761 --> 00:04:15,067
Something must
be wrong with you.

114
00:04:15,068 --> 00:04:17,806
Also, my mom hates you.

115
00:04:17,807 --> 00:04:19,375
You know what?

116
00:04:19,376 --> 00:04:22,181
Just to make sure,
I'm gonna pee on this again.

117
00:04:22,182 --> 00:04:23,550
What?

118
00:04:23,551 --> 00:04:24,619
No, you wouldn't.

119
00:04:24,620 --> 00:04:25,989
Somebody help me!

120
00:04:25,990 --> 00:04:28,828
Somebody help me!

121
00:04:28,829 --> 00:04:32,034
Lily was so fed up
with not getting anywhere,

122
00:04:32,035 --> 00:04:34,973
maybe winning this race
was just what she needed.

123
00:04:46,765 --> 00:04:48,566
Idiot!

124
00:04:49,904 --> 00:04:51,472
I'll show them.

125
00:04:51,473 --> 00:04:53,811
My body can outrun
any motorized vehicle.

126
00:04:53,812 --> 00:04:57,017
I'm like John Henry
when he beat the steam engine.

127
00:04:57,018 --> 00:04:59,823
All I need is
a great folk song.

128
00:05:13,350 --> 00:05:14,585
Suck it, Grand-butt!

129
00:05:22,035 --> 00:05:23,704
Ooh, taxi!

130
00:05:27,145 --> 00:05:29,716
Excuse me, I got a thing.

131
00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:34,625
Maury... Maury...

132
00:05:37,332 --> 00:05:39,335
Track maintenance?

133
00:05:42,242 --> 00:05:44,545
20-minute delay?

134
00:05:44,546 --> 00:05:45,514
How do you do that?

135
00:05:45,515 --> 00:05:47,685
I grew up here;
I speak conductor.

136
00:05:47,686 --> 00:05:48,954
Damn it!

137
00:05:53,397 --> 00:05:56,904
Damn it!

138
00:05:59,777 --> 00:06:03,149
Kids, I also
needed a win that day.

139
00:06:05,021 --> 00:06:06,990
A couple nights earlier,
your Uncle Marshall

140
00:06:06,991 --> 00:06:09,295
had offhandedly mentioned
a Web site called...

141
00:06:09,296 --> 00:06:10,998
Grademyteacher.net?

142
00:06:10,999 --> 00:06:13,136
It's this awesome site
where students can go say

143
00:06:13,137 --> 00:06:14,773
what they really think
about their professors.

144
00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:16,576
Hey, you're probably on there.

145
00:06:18,815 --> 00:06:22,287
I couldn't help but see what my
students had written about me.

146
00:06:22,288 --> 00:06:24,793
And it was...

147
00:06:26,664 --> 00:06:28,901
majestic.

148
00:06:30,772 --> 00:06:32,507
Until...

149
00:06:36,450 --> 00:06:38,854
Now, kids, I knew
I was a good professor.

150
00:06:38,855 --> 00:06:40,892
That's why I didn't
let it bother me.

151
00:06:40,893 --> 00:06:42,594
I had nothing to prove.

152
00:06:42,595 --> 00:06:44,465
Absolutely nothing.

153
00:06:44,466 --> 00:06:45,935
Here's a fun fact.

154
00:06:45,936 --> 00:06:47,604
See the Alberta
Building over there?

155
00:06:47,605 --> 00:06:50,845
Oh. The brown one or the gray one?
That's the gray one.

156
00:06:50,846 --> 00:06:52,381
Did you know

157
00:06:52,382 --> 00:06:54,819
that in 18...

158
00:07:06,543 --> 00:07:08,881
Hey!

159
00:07:08,882 --> 00:07:10,383
Come on!

160
00:07:19,202 --> 00:07:20,771
Elizabeth!

161
00:07:23,077 --> 00:07:25,380
Somebody call an ambulance!

162
00:07:29,857 --> 00:07:32,094
Excuse me, I've got a thing.
Hey!

163
00:07:32,095 --> 00:07:34,598
That's my cab!
Gregor's Steakhouse, downtown.

164
00:07:37,238 --> 00:07:39,141
This is my cab...!

165
00:07:40,946 --> 00:07:42,247
Downtown hospital, please.

166
00:07:42,248 --> 00:07:44,084
It's right by
Gregor's Steakhouse.

167
00:07:44,085 --> 00:07:46,555
Take the FDR, and maybe
crank up some smooth jazz.

168
00:07:46,556 --> 00:07:50,030
Uh, we're required by law to take
you to the nearest hospital,

169
00:07:50,031 --> 00:07:51,666
which is St.
Luke's-Roosevelt.

170
00:07:51,667 --> 00:07:54,138
Uptown.

171
00:07:54,139 --> 00:07:55,440
Oh, no.

172
00:07:59,049 --> 00:08:01,720
It's my cab! This is my cab!

173
00:08:05,821 --> 00:08:07,489
It's Barney.

174
00:08:07,490 --> 00:08:08,993
Help me.

175
00:08:13,435 --> 00:08:15,539
Robin also needed
a win that day.

176
00:08:17,443 --> 00:08:19,480
It had been
a rough year for Robin.

177
00:08:19,481 --> 00:08:21,818
First her boyfriend
and former cohost, Don,

178
00:08:21,819 --> 00:08:23,154
left her for another job.

179
00:08:23,155 --> 00:08:25,860
Then Robin met
her new cohost, Becky.

180
00:08:25,861 --> 00:08:27,664
Hi! I'm Becky!

181
00:08:27,665 --> 00:08:28,631
Hi.

182
00:08:28,632 --> 00:08:30,736
I am so excited
to be your coanchor!

183
00:08:30,737 --> 00:08:32,974
Yay!

184
00:08:32,975 --> 00:08:35,111
Hi, Becky.
My, you're perky.

185
00:08:35,112 --> 00:08:38,819
Don't worry, I am not here
to step on your toesies.

186
00:08:38,820 --> 00:08:39,553
Oh...

187
00:08:39,554 --> 00:08:41,224
You're still the star.

188
00:08:41,225 --> 00:08:44,496
I made chocolate chip
cookies for everybody!

189
00:08:44,497 --> 00:08:45,833
Yay!

190
00:08:45,834 --> 00:08:47,837
And just like that,

191
00:08:47,838 --> 00:08:50,308
Becky started to eclipse Robin.

192
00:08:50,309 --> 00:08:53,481
I mean, literally eclipse her.

193
00:08:56,656 --> 00:08:59,126
This is my cab! Aah!

194
00:08:59,996 --> 00:09:01,999
Keep it.

195
00:09:08,412 --> 00:09:10,015
Hello.

196
00:09:10,016 --> 00:09:11,985
Ranjit, take me to Gregor's.

197
00:09:11,986 --> 00:09:14,556
Taking you to Gregor's.

198
00:09:18,299 --> 00:09:19,400
Hey, Christine.

199
00:09:25,714 --> 00:09:26,782
Yes!

200
00:09:28,452 --> 00:09:30,890
Yes!

201
00:09:35,032 --> 00:09:36,935
Hey...!
Oh!

202
00:09:43,349 --> 00:09:44,918
Ow. Ow.

203
00:09:44,919 --> 00:09:46,020
Ow.

204
00:09:46,021 --> 00:09:47,289
Last seat.

205
00:09:47,290 --> 00:09:48,524
Thank God.

206
00:09:48,525 --> 00:09:51,263
I just had the worst
cab ride of my life.

207
00:09:51,264 --> 00:09:53,401
Well, you're in luck.

208
00:09:53,402 --> 00:09:55,538
See that gothic
church over there?

209
00:09:55,539 --> 00:09:59,848
Those Corinthian columns were
designed by Giuseppe Pegatto in 1896.

210
00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:02,085
Ow. Ow.

211
00:10:02,086 --> 00:10:03,321
Ow.

212
00:10:03,322 --> 00:10:04,791
Hey, Ranjit, pull over.

213
00:10:04,792 --> 00:10:06,127
Pulling over.

214
00:10:07,831 --> 00:10:08,866
Hey, toots!

215
00:10:08,867 --> 00:10:10,535
How about a ride?

216
00:10:13,810 --> 00:10:16,648
Oh. Hey, Robin, it's you.

217
00:10:26,601 --> 00:10:27,770
See that over there?

218
00:10:27,771 --> 00:10:29,173
That's the old Arcadian Hotel.

219
00:10:29,174 --> 00:10:31,945
Fun fact... while today
its neoclassical fenestration

220
00:10:31,946 --> 00:10:33,649
is considered to be...

221
00:10:37,590 --> 00:10:40,395
So, is this ride your way
of apologizing for this morning?

222
00:10:40,396 --> 00:10:42,432
I'm sorry.
I never apologize.

223
00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:44,169
And why would I?

224
00:10:44,170 --> 00:10:45,572
Are you kidding me?

225
00:10:45,573 --> 00:10:47,777
Hey, Barney, can I talk to you?

226
00:10:47,778 --> 00:10:50,381
Sure. Stand a little more
this way.

227
00:10:50,382 --> 00:10:52,486
I'm scouting some talent.

228
00:10:52,487 --> 00:10:54,590
Pretend we're talking
about something important.

229
00:10:54,591 --> 00:10:56,995
Oh, well, this... this
is something important.

230
00:10:56,996 --> 00:10:59,166
Um, I'm having a... a
really rough time at work.

231
00:10:59,167 --> 00:11:00,769
You know, the whole
Becky thing...

232
00:11:00,770 --> 00:11:02,038
Oh, you know what?

233
00:11:02,039 --> 00:11:03,241
That's just getting distracting.

234
00:11:03,242 --> 00:11:06,380
Um, say "carrots and peas."
Carrots and peas.

235
00:11:06,381 --> 00:11:07,282
Carrots and peas.

236
00:11:07,283 --> 00:11:08,317
Carrots and peas.

237
00:11:08,318 --> 00:11:11,190
Carrots and peas.

238
00:11:12,861 --> 00:11:15,365
Guys, I can't stop staring
at that girl's face.

239
00:11:15,366 --> 00:11:17,904
What, you really had something
to talk about? Yes.

240
00:11:17,905 --> 00:11:20,709
Look, I've spent the last
six years in this city,

241
00:11:20,710 --> 00:11:22,747
focusing on my career,
all for nothing.

242
00:11:22,748 --> 00:11:24,516
Some lady almost got me killed.

243
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,554
Maury Povich stole my cab.

244
00:11:26,555 --> 00:11:28,926
I swear, this city
is starting to reject me

245
00:11:28,927 --> 00:11:30,562
like a bad organ transplant.

246
00:11:30,563 --> 00:11:33,634
You know, everyone keeps saying
that I'm not a real New Yorker.

247
00:11:33,635 --> 00:11:36,507
Well, maybe I should
just stop trying.

248
00:11:36,508 --> 00:11:38,110
Robin, I had no idea.

249
00:11:38,111 --> 00:11:40,381
No, it's my fault for thinking
that you might care.

250
00:11:40,382 --> 00:11:41,584
Ranjit, stop the car.

251
00:11:41,585 --> 00:11:43,120
Stopping the car.

252
00:11:43,121 --> 00:11:44,089
No, don't stop the car.

253
00:11:44,090 --> 00:11:45,793
Not stopping the car.

254
00:11:45,794 --> 00:11:46,695
Seriously, stop the car.

255
00:11:46,696 --> 00:11:48,598
Seriously stopping the car.

256
00:11:48,599 --> 00:11:49,633
Look, you...

257
00:11:49,634 --> 00:11:51,103
Wait, wait...
Robin, hold on.

258
00:11:51,104 --> 00:11:53,474
If you want to talk,
I'm right here.

259
00:11:53,475 --> 00:11:55,345
Carrots and peas.

260
00:11:55,346 --> 00:11:57,082
Don't...

261
00:11:57,083 --> 00:11:58,317
You...

262
00:12:00,289 --> 00:12:03,862
I'll crank up the smooth jazz.

263
00:12:25,372 --> 00:12:27,977
Come on, Playboy Channel.

264
00:12:30,516 --> 00:12:31,885
Ow!

265
00:12:34,557 --> 00:12:36,293
Come on, Spice Channel.

266
00:12:54,497 --> 00:12:55,766
uses a hybrid
steel tube structure...

267
00:12:55,767 --> 00:12:58,104
Kids, that day, I had
a horrible realization.

268
00:12:58,105 --> 00:13:01,610
If you can't spot the crazy
person on the bus...

269
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:07,255
it's you.

270
00:13:12,233 --> 00:13:14,302
The good news is,
I was halfway there,

271
00:13:14,303 --> 00:13:15,571
and nothing could stop me.

272
00:13:21,719 --> 00:13:24,857
Whoa!

273
00:13:24,858 --> 00:13:26,026
This is crazy.

274
00:13:26,027 --> 00:13:27,061
I can't believe it.

275
00:13:27,062 --> 00:13:28,564
Okay, this is clearly a sign.

276
00:13:28,565 --> 00:13:30,736
Let's just call it a tie.

277
00:13:30,737 --> 00:13:32,105
Forget about the race.

278
00:13:32,106 --> 00:13:33,174
Head back to the bar.

279
00:13:33,175 --> 00:13:34,109
Absolutely.

280
00:13:44,526 --> 00:13:47,131
The race was back on.

281
00:13:48,434 --> 00:13:50,939
Idiot.

282
00:13:50,940 --> 00:13:53,945
One subway car over...

283
00:14:10,078 --> 00:14:12,716
Oh, God.

284
00:14:18,594 --> 00:14:19,663
Oh, bite me!

285
00:14:23,805 --> 00:14:26,276
Faster. Mush! Mush!

286
00:14:26,277 --> 00:14:28,781
I need this win.
I need this win.

287
00:14:31,553 --> 00:14:33,523
And firing half my department
freed up the money

288
00:14:33,524 --> 00:14:34,960
to double my own salary.

289
00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:37,666
And this chick from Boston was
wicked hot in bed last night,

290
00:14:37,667 --> 00:14:39,135
and I'm getting more muscular,

291
00:14:39,136 --> 00:14:40,470
even though I've
stopped working out,

292
00:14:40,471 --> 00:14:42,174
and I've got this
amazing poker group.

293
00:14:42,175 --> 00:14:45,047
Actually,
Barney did not need a win.

294
00:14:45,048 --> 00:14:48,721
And I smell incredible.
Smell me.

295
00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:51,860
Just, seriously, smell me.

296
00:14:54,032 --> 00:14:56,502
He did smell incredible.

297
00:14:56,503 --> 00:14:57,772
Stop!

298
00:14:57,773 --> 00:14:59,943
Too slow. Switch.

299
00:15:14,339 --> 00:15:15,708
Sweetie?

300
00:15:15,709 --> 00:15:16,677
Are you okay?

301
00:15:16,678 --> 00:15:17,645
No.

302
00:15:17,646 --> 00:15:20,584
I am done with this city.
It wins.

303
00:15:20,585 --> 00:15:23,123
I just want to move
somewhere new and start over.

304
00:15:24,159 --> 00:15:27,297
You've had a rough year.

305
00:15:27,298 --> 00:15:29,168
But you're tough.

306
00:15:29,169 --> 00:15:31,105
And I love you like crazy.

307
00:15:31,106 --> 00:15:33,243
If you left, I'd
have to follow you.

308
00:15:33,244 --> 00:15:34,980
And Marshall would follow me.

309
00:15:34,981 --> 00:15:36,182
And Ted would follow him.

310
00:15:36,183 --> 00:15:39,388
The only upside is that we
might get rid of Barney.

311
00:15:40,826 --> 00:15:42,762
Bring it in.

312
00:15:45,669 --> 00:15:47,271
What did he say?

313
00:15:47,272 --> 00:15:48,808
No clue.

314
00:15:48,809 --> 00:15:52,147
Hey, is that Maury Povich?

315
00:15:55,254 --> 00:15:56,657
Hey! Lily.

316
00:15:57,660 --> 00:15:58,661
Sorry, sweetie.

317
00:15:58,662 --> 00:15:59,863
I swear I'll be a great friend

318
00:15:59,864 --> 00:16:01,834
at the finish line,
but the conductor just said

319
00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:03,570
you're going express
to Borough Hall,

320
00:16:03,571 --> 00:16:05,340
which means you're screwed,
sweetie.

321
00:16:05,341 --> 00:16:06,476
So long, sucker.

322
00:16:11,119 --> 00:16:12,856
Bring it in.

323
00:16:12,857 --> 00:16:14,558
Damn it.

324
00:16:16,463 --> 00:16:19,001
Hey, it's Lily.
Help me.

325
00:16:19,002 --> 00:16:21,874
And not a single passenger
would listen to me.

326
00:16:21,875 --> 00:16:23,343
I mean, am I a bad teacher?

327
00:16:23,344 --> 00:16:25,882
Do I just put people to sleep?

328
00:16:27,018 --> 00:16:28,052
Buddy?

329
00:16:28,053 --> 00:16:29,622
Hey, buddy?

330
00:16:29,623 --> 00:16:31,359
Need a hand?

331
00:16:32,796 --> 00:16:34,532
The machines have won!

332
00:16:34,533 --> 00:16:37,070
The machines have won.

333
00:16:37,071 --> 00:16:38,540
Dude, mellow.

334
00:16:40,244 --> 00:16:42,180
I can't do it.
I can't run that far.

335
00:16:42,181 --> 00:16:43,984
I can't outrace anything.

336
00:16:43,985 --> 00:16:45,955
I-I can't...

337
00:16:45,956 --> 00:16:48,593
I can't get my wife pregnant!

338
00:16:51,801 --> 00:16:53,202
Wait.

339
00:16:53,203 --> 00:16:55,540
Is that what this whole stupid
running thing has been about?

340
00:16:55,541 --> 00:16:58,346
My body has been letting me
down, and I just wanted

341
00:16:58,347 --> 00:17:00,050
to prove that it could still
do something,

342
00:17:00,051 --> 00:17:01,252
but it can't.

343
00:17:01,253 --> 00:17:03,089
Dude, you've been trying
for two months,

344
00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:05,026
not two years.
That's nothing.

345
00:17:05,027 --> 00:17:06,429
Well, you should talk.

346
00:17:06,430 --> 00:17:08,066
You know, you're the one
who's freaking out

347
00:17:08,067 --> 00:17:09,501
because you have
one mediocre review

348
00:17:09,502 --> 00:17:11,439
and, like, 50 great ones.

349
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:13,076
64. But whatever.

350
00:17:13,077 --> 00:17:15,313
And you're designing
a frickin' building.

351
00:17:15,314 --> 00:17:16,783
I mean, come on, dude.

352
00:17:16,784 --> 00:17:19,723
Sounds like you guys
need to clear everything,

353
00:17:19,724 --> 00:17:22,227
subtract the negativity,

354
00:17:22,228 --> 00:17:25,066
and add some perspective.

355
00:17:27,472 --> 00:17:29,776
Marshall!

356
00:17:29,777 --> 00:17:32,280
Marshall, get in!

357
00:17:32,281 --> 00:17:34,451
Hello.

358
00:17:50,251 --> 00:17:51,853
There it is.

359
00:17:51,854 --> 00:17:52,955
Where are Marshall and Lily?

360
00:17:52,956 --> 00:17:54,893
Who cares?

361
00:18:18,373 --> 00:18:20,978
I won? I won!

362
00:18:20,979 --> 00:18:22,247
No!

363
00:18:22,248 --> 00:18:23,116
I can't believe I won!

364
00:18:23,117 --> 00:18:24,753
How did that even happen?

365
00:18:24,754 --> 00:18:25,888
Here's how it happened.

366
00:18:25,889 --> 00:18:28,092
Okay, he's in. Go.
Go. Gun it.

367
00:18:28,093 --> 00:18:29,763
Ted is in the way.
Run him over.

368
00:18:29,764 --> 00:18:30,898
Running him over.

369
00:18:30,899 --> 00:18:32,434
No. Lily, what the hell
is the matter with you?

370
00:18:32,435 --> 00:18:35,206
Nothing. I just want
to win this really badly.

371
00:18:35,207 --> 00:18:38,714
So badly that I just ditched
my best friend

372
00:18:38,715 --> 00:18:40,116
when she needed me.

373
00:18:40,117 --> 00:18:43,724
Oh, baby, you were also going
to run over Ted.

374
00:18:43,725 --> 00:18:46,930
Why did I get so crazy
about this?

375
00:18:46,931 --> 00:18:48,867
Maybe for the same reason
that I kept saying

376
00:18:48,868 --> 00:18:50,270
that I could run seven miles.

377
00:18:50,271 --> 00:18:54,244
I... I'm trying to be really,
um, confident and positive

378
00:18:54,245 --> 00:18:57,117
about all this, but, baby,
I'm really scared

379
00:18:57,118 --> 00:18:58,152
that we're not pregnant yet.

380
00:18:58,153 --> 00:18:59,421
Oh, thank God.

381
00:18:59,422 --> 00:19:01,860
I keep thinking there's
something wrong with me.

382
00:19:01,861 --> 00:19:03,429
I keep thinking there's
something wrong with me.

383
00:19:03,430 --> 00:19:04,666
It's only been two months.

384
00:19:04,667 --> 00:19:05,768
We are crazy.

385
00:19:05,769 --> 00:19:06,736
We're totally crazy.

386
00:19:06,737 --> 00:19:07,872
This is the last time

387
00:19:07,873 --> 00:19:09,776
it's ever going
to be just the two of us.

388
00:19:09,777 --> 00:19:10,678
Shouldn't we be enjoying that?

389
00:19:10,679 --> 00:19:13,082
We gotta go back to Paris.

390
00:19:13,083 --> 00:19:14,284
And take ballroom dancing.

391
00:19:14,285 --> 00:19:15,453
And really learn how to ski.

392
00:19:15,454 --> 00:19:17,658
Not just up and get faced
in the lodge.

393
00:19:17,659 --> 00:19:20,430
And see Coney Island.
I've still never been.

394
00:19:20,431 --> 00:19:22,702
See, we have a whole bucket list
of things to do

395
00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:23,737
before we start having kids.

396
00:19:23,738 --> 00:19:26,408
Oh, a cradle list.

397
00:19:26,409 --> 00:19:28,579
I'm...

398
00:19:28,580 --> 00:19:31,452
so glad we're trying, and I'm
going to be really excited

399
00:19:31,453 --> 00:19:34,591
for when it happens,
but this isn't a race.

400
00:19:34,592 --> 00:19:38,199
This isn't a race.

401
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,270
Ranjit, screw Gregor's.

402
00:19:40,271 --> 00:19:42,007
Let's go to Coney Island.

403
00:19:42,008 --> 00:19:45,380
Screwing Gregor's.
Going to Coney Island.

404
00:19:45,381 --> 00:19:48,185
As for how Robin beat
me and Barney,

405
00:19:48,186 --> 00:19:51,358
to this day, your uncle
Barney won't admit it...

406
00:19:51,359 --> 00:19:53,697
Who cares?
But here's what I saw:

407
00:19:53,698 --> 00:19:56,268
I saw Barney
notice Robin's face...

408
00:19:56,269 --> 00:19:59,207
and maybe realize something.

409
00:19:59,208 --> 00:20:00,476
Barney says he tripped,

410
00:20:00,477 --> 00:20:05,486
but it sure felt like
he tackled me on purpose.

411
00:20:05,487 --> 00:20:06,723
And when Robin won,

412
00:20:06,724 --> 00:20:08,326
I could have sworn
I saw him smile.

413
00:20:08,327 --> 00:20:10,563
I won!
No!

414
00:20:10,564 --> 00:20:12,467
So I said, "The
cab, of course"

415
00:20:14,605 --> 00:20:16,508
I know what you did back there.

416
00:20:17,144 --> 00:20:18,479
Yeah.

417
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:20,049
Check it.

418
00:20:20,050 --> 00:20:23,389
I just drove
a pedicab 26 blocks,

419
00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:25,626
and I still smell incredible.

420
00:20:25,627 --> 00:20:26,896
Smell me.

421
00:20:26,897 --> 00:20:27,798
I'm not gonna...

422
00:20:27,799 --> 00:20:29,401
Not gonna...
Smell me.

423
00:20:30,404 --> 00:20:32,040
He did smell incredible.

424
00:20:32,041 --> 00:20:33,209
Wait a minute.

425
00:20:33,210 --> 00:20:34,746
So, where is Woody Allen?

426
00:20:34,747 --> 00:20:37,017
He's right there.

427
00:20:39,923 --> 00:20:42,627
Damn it, Max.
That's Maury Povich.

428
00:20:42,628 --> 00:20:44,899
I always get those two confused.

429
00:20:46,403 --> 00:20:48,774
Technically, there was only
one winner that day.

430
00:20:48,775 --> 00:20:52,013
And in that race, everyone
found exactly what they needed.

431
00:20:52,014 --> 00:20:53,449
It's true,

432
00:20:53,450 --> 00:20:54,652
she wouldn't see Woody Allen

433
00:20:54,653 --> 00:20:55,721
for another couple months,

434
00:20:55,722 --> 00:20:57,457
but that's how Robin became,

435
00:20:57,458 --> 00:21:00,496
by just about any definition
of the term...

436
00:21:02,468 --> 00:21:04,004
a real New Yorker.

437
00:21:04,204 --> 00:21:14,214
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