1 00:00:01,354 --> 00:00:03,322 Kids, in the fall of 2010... 2 00:00:03,423 --> 00:00:07,257 it seemed like Aunt Lily could only talk about one thing... babies. 3 00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:10,124 Oh, God. I have been craving this burger all day. 4 00:00:10,230 --> 00:00:13,597 Do you know what plays a huge role in helping a woman conceive? 5 00:00:13,700 --> 00:00:15,224 - Mmm. - Cervical mucus. 6 00:00:15,335 --> 00:00:17,326 Oh, God. 7 00:00:17,437 --> 00:00:20,065 Oh, my God. I can't wait to see this movie. I hear it's really scary. 8 00:00:20,173 --> 00:00:21,800 Oh, change of plans. 9 00:00:21,908 --> 00:00:25,002 I thought violent images wouldn't be good for my future fetus... 10 00:00:25,111 --> 00:00:29,104 so instead, I rented this video of a live water birth. 11 00:00:31,818 --> 00:00:35,549 They don't know what it is. It just showed up on my mom's X-ray. 12 00:00:35,655 --> 00:00:37,418 Look at this crib. 13 00:00:37,524 --> 00:00:39,685 But all and all, it wasn't a problem. 14 00:00:39,793 --> 00:00:42,421 That is, until the night of Barney's boutonniere. 15 00:00:42,529 --> 00:00:44,622 - Oh, you're wearing a flower. - Thank you. 16 00:00:44,731 --> 00:00:47,359 - I didn't compliment. Just observed. - I know, isn't it? 17 00:00:47,467 --> 00:00:50,197 - Why are you wearing that? - Why does Barney do anything ever? 18 00:00:50,303 --> 00:00:52,100 Exactly! Science! 19 00:00:52,205 --> 00:00:54,173 There is an 83% correlation... 20 00:00:54,274 --> 00:00:57,903 between the times men wear boutonnieres and the times they get laid. 21 00:00:58,011 --> 00:01:02,448 Think about it... proms, weddings, grandmas' funerals. 22 00:01:02,549 --> 00:01:04,744 Thanks for the redhead, Nana. 23 00:01:04,851 --> 00:01:08,582 The everyday boutonniere, by Stinson. 24 00:01:08,688 --> 00:01:11,623 And nope. I'm sorry, Barney, but no girl is going home... 25 00:01:11,725 --> 00:01:13,750 with a guy with a flower on his chest... 26 00:01:13,860 --> 00:01:16,328 unless he's a clown and she's in the trunk of his car. 27 00:01:16,429 --> 00:01:19,364 Along with 50 other clowns. 28 00:01:21,368 --> 00:01:23,563 It's a clown car. 29 00:01:23,670 --> 00:01:28,801 Robin, did you know that "boutonniere" is French for "booty is near"? 30 00:01:28,908 --> 00:01:30,808 - Hmm. - True story. 31 00:01:30,910 --> 00:01:33,276 - Une histoire vraie. - Hmm. 32 00:01:33,380 --> 00:01:37,339 Did you know that " Barney" is French for " sad little guy who works way too hard to get laid"? 33 00:01:37,450 --> 00:01:39,418 Woman, you best check yourself. 34 00:01:39,519 --> 00:01:42,386 Yeah, on the bright side, I guess suits are pretty boring without them. 35 00:01:42,489 --> 00:01:46,425 Madam, that is an insult that cannot be borne! 36 00:01:46,526 --> 00:01:48,517 I demand satisfaction! 37 00:01:48,628 --> 00:01:50,357 What, are we gonna duel? 38 00:01:50,463 --> 00:01:53,261 No, I'm gonna show everyone this embarrassing video of you. 39 00:01:53,366 --> 00:01:56,335 It's Robin Sparkles 3, y'all. 40 00:02:11,284 --> 00:02:13,411 Kids, by this point we knew Aunt Robin... 41 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:17,081 had been a teen pop sensation in Canada known as Robin Sparkles. 42 00:02:17,190 --> 00:02:18,885 And we also knew that her Robin Sparkles character... 43 00:02:18,992 --> 00:02:22,553 came from a Canadian TVshow which we'd never seen... 44 00:02:22,662 --> 00:02:24,152 until now. 45 00:02:24,264 --> 00:02:26,061 I cannot wait to see what's on this DVD! 46 00:02:26,166 --> 00:02:28,259 - You haven't watched it yet? - No, of course not. 47 00:02:28,368 --> 00:02:30,962 I wanted my first time to be with someone I cared about. 48 00:02:31,071 --> 00:02:33,403 - That's so sweet. - I get that a lot. Well, once. 49 00:02:33,506 --> 00:02:36,737 Hey, Robin, do you wanna go get a Korean massage on Saturday? 50 00:02:36,843 --> 00:02:39,903 I'd love to. I've got this knot in my neck that's so annoying. 51 00:02:40,013 --> 00:02:41,537 Yeah, I figured I should get one now... 52 00:02:41,648 --> 00:02:44,139 because once I get pregnant, no more massages. 53 00:02:44,250 --> 00:02:47,151 - Just so annoying. - Okay. 54 00:02:50,590 --> 00:02:52,524 Space Teens? 55 00:02:52,625 --> 00:02:54,183 Is this a porno? 56 00:02:54,294 --> 00:02:57,161 No, dude! Dude! It's a kid show. 57 00:02:57,263 --> 00:02:58,924 Oh. 58 00:02:59,999 --> 00:03:01,660 Yeah, yeah! 59 00:03:05,071 --> 00:03:07,471 I don't know. This does have all the earmarks of porn. 60 00:03:07,574 --> 00:03:09,201 Stripper pole. Bad lighting. 61 00:03:09,309 --> 00:03:11,777 Delusional girl who thinks it's a stepping stone to mainstream success. 62 00:03:11,878 --> 00:03:14,278 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a big ol' bowl of porn flakes. 63 00:03:21,821 --> 00:03:25,222 Whoa! And who is this exquisite keytarist... 64 00:03:25,325 --> 00:03:27,122 I assume you're about to make sweet love to? 65 00:03:27,227 --> 00:03:28,854 Oh, that's Jessica Glitter. 66 00:03:28,962 --> 00:03:31,123 She was my B.F.F. on the show and in real life. 67 00:03:31,231 --> 00:03:32,926 Ah, B.F.F.'s. 68 00:03:33,032 --> 00:03:35,899 Did you guys have sleepovers, get mad at each other and wrestle... 69 00:03:36,002 --> 00:03:38,129 but then end up kissing in a tender embrace? 70 00:03:38,238 --> 00:03:39,705 - Here, show us on Lily. - You know what? 71 00:03:39,806 --> 00:03:41,865 If you're gonna be disgusting, we're not watching this, okay? 72 00:03:41,975 --> 00:03:46,139 Yeah, come on, Barney. It's just a cute little story about... 73 00:03:46,246 --> 00:03:48,146 What exactly is this about? 74 00:03:48,248 --> 00:03:52,048 Two average Canadian teenagers who solve crimes in space using math. 75 00:03:52,152 --> 00:03:54,552 - That sounds ridiculous. - So sue me... 76 00:03:54,654 --> 00:03:57,214 like the producers of Milky Way Mathletes tried to. 77 00:04:06,499 --> 00:04:10,629 Great job using long division to catch that space burglar, eh? 78 00:04:10,737 --> 00:04:15,697 What can I say? He'll be in galactic jail for the remainder of his life. 79 00:04:18,011 --> 00:04:19,478 Sparkles, Glitter. 80 00:04:19,579 --> 00:04:21,410 We're about to enter an asteroid belt, eh? 81 00:04:21,514 --> 00:04:24,278 Brace for turbulence! 82 00:04:24,384 --> 00:04:26,614 - Ooh. - Ooh. 83 00:04:28,188 --> 00:04:31,021 I have to say, as much as I hate to agree with Barney... 84 00:04:31,124 --> 00:04:33,854 this does seem to be a veritable pornucopia. 85 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:36,155 Okay, guys, come on! It's a kid show. 86 00:04:36,262 --> 00:04:39,197 Like, uh, Electric Company or Sesame Street or, um... 87 00:04:39,299 --> 00:04:41,199 - You can't do that on television. - Exactly. 88 00:04:41,301 --> 00:04:44,702 No. You can't do that on television. 89 00:04:49,142 --> 00:04:51,633 Robin, this show is so dirty... 90 00:04:51,744 --> 00:04:54,372 I don't know whether to hug you or run a shower for you... 91 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:56,914 so you can sit there alone, crying and clenching your knees. 92 00:04:57,016 --> 00:04:59,450 It's just bad camera work, okay? 93 00:04:59,552 --> 00:05:01,713 Wayne, our camera guy... he wasn't that great. 94 00:05:01,821 --> 00:05:03,755 I don't know. I think he did a pretty good job... 95 00:05:03,856 --> 00:05:07,223 considering he was probably only using one hand. 96 00:05:07,327 --> 00:05:09,488 You know what? I feel bad for you Americans... 97 00:05:09,596 --> 00:05:13,157 that you can look at this wondrous and educational adventure through space... 98 00:05:13,266 --> 00:05:14,961 and see something obscene. 99 00:05:15,068 --> 00:05:19,164 Can you just please try to look at this with the innocence of a child? 100 00:05:19,272 --> 00:05:22,241 - Innocence of a child. Got it. - Here we go. 101 00:05:23,610 --> 00:05:26,078 Girls, if you wanna get through the asteroid belt... 102 00:05:26,179 --> 00:05:28,170 you've got to use multiplication. 103 00:05:28,281 --> 00:05:30,181 To the joystickl 104 00:05:32,518 --> 00:05:34,918 Okay, Space Teens, let's multiply. 105 00:05:35,021 --> 00:05:37,251 - Five times six? - Ooh, 30. 106 00:05:37,357 --> 00:05:39,325 Yesl Seven times four? 107 00:05:39,425 --> 00:05:41,586 - Twenty-eightl - Keep going. 108 00:05:41,694 --> 00:05:43,787 - Eight times nine? - Seventy-two! 109 00:05:43,896 --> 00:05:46,194 Don't stop nowl Almost there. 110 00:05:46,299 --> 00:05:49,427 Twenty-three times three? 111 00:05:49,535 --> 00:05:51,196 - Hey! - What are you doing? 112 00:05:51,304 --> 00:05:53,272 I'm sorry. We gotta ration this. 113 00:05:53,373 --> 00:05:56,774 It's like we're on a desert island and this video is a really hot, naked chick... 114 00:05:56,876 --> 00:06:00,505 and she's got, like, seaweed on her and a seashell bra. 115 00:06:00,613 --> 00:06:02,342 You all feel me. 116 00:06:02,448 --> 00:06:06,179 Hey, if you and Jessica are B.F.F.'s, how come we've never met her? 117 00:06:06,286 --> 00:06:08,277 Okay, well, it was a long time ago, okay? 118 00:06:08,388 --> 00:06:11,619 I get a Christmas card from her every year, but we're not really friends anymore. 119 00:06:11,724 --> 00:06:13,851 But B.F.F.'s are forever. 120 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:16,827 Oh, come on, Lily. Nobody stays friends with their high school friends. 121 00:06:16,929 --> 00:06:20,228 - I'm still friends with Punchy. - Dude, he lives in Cleveland. 122 00:06:20,333 --> 00:06:23,996 You see him once a year, at which point he punches you really hard in the arm... 123 00:06:24,103 --> 00:06:26,162 and tells everyone how you dookied your pants. 124 00:06:26,272 --> 00:06:29,469 I know on paper he sounds great, but you guys aren't really friends. 125 00:06:29,575 --> 00:06:32,874 Look, I may not see him a lot, but it doesn't matter. 126 00:06:32,979 --> 00:06:35,914 Observe. 127 00:06:36,015 --> 00:06:38,813 Schmosby! 128 00:06:38,918 --> 00:06:40,078 - Punchy! - Schmosby! 129 00:06:40,186 --> 00:06:41,244 - Punchy! - Schmosby! 130 00:06:41,354 --> 00:06:42,548 - Punchy! - Schmosby! 131 00:06:42,655 --> 00:06:44,555 - Punchy! - Hey, good talkin' to you, Ted. 132 00:06:44,657 --> 00:06:47,148 - Yeah, you too. If you're ever in New York. - Definitely. 133 00:06:48,795 --> 00:06:51,320 We are just two peas. 134 00:06:51,431 --> 00:06:55,128 I don't get it. How can you and Glitter just stop being friends? 135 00:06:55,234 --> 00:06:57,725 - Best friends don't do that. - Well, we did, okay? 136 00:06:57,837 --> 00:07:00,670 And I haven't talked to her in, like, five years, so just drop it. 137 00:07:00,773 --> 00:07:02,673 I gotta go. 138 00:07:04,944 --> 00:07:07,469 Whoa. 139 00:07:07,580 --> 00:07:10,481 What do you think came between Robin and Jessica? 140 00:07:10,583 --> 00:07:13,108 Much like our friends, the Space Teens... 141 00:07:13,219 --> 00:07:16,916 I think I can solve this crime with math. 142 00:07:19,525 --> 00:07:23,256 Okay. Okay, here is a Christmas card that Jessica sent Robin. 143 00:07:23,363 --> 00:07:26,264 - Lily, how old would you say that kid is? - Four years, three months. 144 00:07:26,366 --> 00:07:28,800 Which means Jessica got pregnant five years ago... 145 00:07:28,901 --> 00:07:31,096 right around the time she and Robin stopped being friends. 146 00:07:31,204 --> 00:07:33,365 Of course. Robin hates kids. 147 00:07:33,473 --> 00:07:36,203 The last thing she would wanna do is hang out with some little brat. 148 00:07:36,309 --> 00:07:39,767 Thus, if I may... 149 00:07:39,879 --> 00:07:42,848 When Glitter's womb a fruit did bear... 150 00:07:42,949 --> 00:07:46,942 Robin said, "To hell with this, I'm outta h-hare." 151 00:07:49,322 --> 00:07:52,257 - Glitter got pregnant, so Robin dumped her. - Oh! 152 00:07:52,358 --> 00:07:54,883 Wow. That's gotta be it. Right, Lil? 153 00:07:56,262 --> 00:07:59,629 - Lil? - Robin's gonna dump me. 154 00:07:59,732 --> 00:08:01,700 Oh, sweetheart. 155 00:08:01,801 --> 00:08:04,895 Aha! When a second uterus plumped becomes... 156 00:08:05,004 --> 00:08:07,370 Dude. 157 00:08:07,473 --> 00:08:09,100 Feel the room. 158 00:08:18,785 --> 00:08:20,980 - No. - We've been waiting all day. 159 00:08:21,087 --> 00:08:22,577 Just watch it without me. 160 00:08:22,688 --> 00:08:25,418 Two dudes on the couch together watching porn? That's kinda weird. 161 00:08:25,525 --> 00:08:27,288 Okay, it's not porn. It's a kid show. 162 00:08:27,393 --> 00:08:30,260 Two dudes watchin' a kid show might be worse. 163 00:08:30,363 --> 00:08:33,093 - Okay, fine. I'll watch it with you. - Yah! 164 00:08:33,199 --> 00:08:36,862 But if either of you makes even one peep about this show being dirty, I'm turning it off. 165 00:08:36,969 --> 00:08:38,937 - I'm serious! - We... 166 00:08:41,073 --> 00:08:43,473 Hey, Jessica. How's your beaver? 167 00:08:44,644 --> 00:08:46,942 Great. How's your beaver? 168 00:08:47,046 --> 00:08:49,606 Busy as ever. 169 00:08:51,484 --> 00:08:53,418 Our characters had pet beavers. 170 00:08:53,519 --> 00:08:56,955 - Sure. - The beaver is the official animal of Canada. 171 00:08:57,056 --> 00:08:59,149 It's their national mascot. 172 00:09:00,493 --> 00:09:02,791 It's a noble creature. 173 00:09:02,895 --> 00:09:04,487 Okay, girls. 174 00:09:04,597 --> 00:09:08,124 Everyone knows a beaver's favorite food is wood. 175 00:09:08,234 --> 00:09:12,295 I just hope we brought along enough of it for a three-day galactic space journey. 176 00:09:12,405 --> 00:09:14,270 So let's do the math. 177 00:09:14,373 --> 00:09:18,833 If Robin's beaver devours six inches of wood every half hour... 178 00:09:18,945 --> 00:09:22,813 and Jessica's beaver devours eight inches of wood every 45 minutes... 179 00:09:22,915 --> 00:09:27,875 how much wood will I need to keep both of these beavers well fed all weekend long? 180 00:09:29,789 --> 00:09:31,484 While you figure it out at home... 181 00:09:31,591 --> 00:09:34,617 how about we sing you a song about our beavers? 182 00:09:34,727 --> 00:09:37,252 Hey... 183 00:09:37,363 --> 00:09:40,628 - Hey! - You do not get to hear the beaver song! 184 00:09:40,733 --> 00:09:44,362 It is a sweet song about friendship, and you guys are being disgusting! 185 00:09:44,470 --> 00:09:47,371 - And beavers are adorable! - No arguments here. 186 00:09:52,111 --> 00:09:55,171 'Sup, Schmosby! What's the man doin'? 187 00:09:55,281 --> 00:09:56,873 Punchy, what are ya doin' here? 188 00:09:56,983 --> 00:10:00,316 Well, yesterday you said if I was ever in New York. 189 00:10:00,419 --> 00:10:02,683 - 'Sup, turds? - Ew. 190 00:10:02,788 --> 00:10:05,018 Okay. Um, uh, where you stayin'? 191 00:10:05,124 --> 00:10:08,093 In your mom's pants. Trick! She's old. 192 00:10:08,194 --> 00:10:10,719 Hey, don't worry about me. I'm cool on the couch. 193 00:10:10,830 --> 00:10:13,958 - He's staying here? You're staying here? - I know. It's so good, right? 194 00:10:14,066 --> 00:10:16,432 Feels like you're dreaming? But check your totem, brah. 195 00:10:16,536 --> 00:10:19,630 Punchy's here in the flesh. So why don't we get one of these, Ted? Yeah. 196 00:10:19,739 --> 00:10:21,400 Remember these? High school. 197 00:10:21,507 --> 00:10:23,873 Junior high. Elementary school. Remember those? 198 00:10:23,976 --> 00:10:26,570 - Look, Punchy's here. - Yeah. 199 00:10:26,679 --> 00:10:30,046 Hey, Schmosby, remember when you dookied in your pants down by the lake? 200 00:10:30,149 --> 00:10:31,912 Unbelievable! 201 00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:36,818 Hey, Schmosby, remember when you dookied on the couch... 202 00:10:36,923 --> 00:10:39,118 in the form of your idiot high school friend? 203 00:10:40,793 --> 00:10:43,318 Unbelievable! 204 00:10:43,429 --> 00:10:45,454 Come on. I worry about the guy. 205 00:10:45,565 --> 00:10:48,557 He's had the same dead-end job at a car rental place for 15 years. 206 00:10:48,668 --> 00:10:51,296 - Don't care. - He's been stuck in Cleveland his whole life. 207 00:10:51,404 --> 00:10:54,202 - Get a hotel. - Robin. 208 00:10:54,307 --> 00:10:57,276 - LeBron. - Okay. One night. 209 00:10:58,110 --> 00:11:00,044 Gotta go. 210 00:11:00,146 --> 00:11:02,239 Hey. Where are you goin'? We just got here. 211 00:11:02,348 --> 00:11:04,475 - Oh, uh, Korean massage. - By yourself? 212 00:11:04,584 --> 00:11:08,281 Well, I figured you'd be busy reading What to Expect When You're Expecting to Expect. 213 00:11:10,623 --> 00:11:14,582 Guys, did you see that? She's going to a Korean massage without me. 214 00:11:14,694 --> 00:11:16,525 That's our thing. 215 00:11:16,629 --> 00:11:20,087 I'm telling you, she's gonna dump me just like she dumped Glitter. 216 00:11:20,199 --> 00:11:22,497 Lily, come on. We don't even know that's what happened. 217 00:11:22,602 --> 00:11:26,060 Um, hello. Somebody already solved that crime using math, remember? 218 00:11:26,172 --> 00:11:30,472 Look, Lily, Robin is clearly getting tired of you constantly talking about babies. 219 00:11:30,576 --> 00:11:32,100 I don't... 220 00:11:32,211 --> 00:11:34,941 - Lily, how old am I? - 384 months. 221 00:11:35,047 --> 00:11:36,344 Busted! 222 00:11:37,783 --> 00:11:40,581 Okay. So, before you Lily all over the place... 223 00:11:40,686 --> 00:11:44,281 maybe you should try hanging out with Robin and not talking about babies. 224 00:11:44,390 --> 00:11:45,982 So, Lily did just that. 225 00:11:46,092 --> 00:11:48,458 - She tried not to talk about babies. - Hey! 226 00:11:48,561 --> 00:11:52,122 - Lily, what brings you to the crib? - The crib. 227 00:11:52,231 --> 00:11:55,200 - What's the matter? You look rattled. - Rattled? 228 00:11:55,301 --> 00:11:57,997 - I wanna talk about babies. - What? 229 00:11:58,104 --> 00:12:00,504 Look, I know you don't care about this stuff... 230 00:12:00,606 --> 00:12:02,335 but I'm about to become a mother. 231 00:12:02,441 --> 00:12:04,966 And as a future mother, I'm gonna need the support... 232 00:12:05,077 --> 00:12:07,705 Oh, my God! You're not even pregnant yet! 233 00:12:07,813 --> 00:12:09,303 What's that supposed to mean? 234 00:12:09,415 --> 00:12:12,077 It means that a fertilized egg has not yet attached itself... 235 00:12:12,184 --> 00:12:13,879 to the lining of your uterine wall. 236 00:12:13,986 --> 00:12:16,147 You see? I read your Facebook updates. 237 00:12:16,255 --> 00:12:19,588 It's like... It's all you ever talk about, Lily, and I'm sick of it! 238 00:12:19,692 --> 00:12:21,785 Well, guess what? I've got some good news. 239 00:12:21,894 --> 00:12:23,862 When that baby comes, you don't have to see it. 240 00:12:23,963 --> 00:12:27,694 In fact, you don't have to see me. This whole friendship thing... done. 241 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:28,892 - Great. - Great. 242 00:12:36,475 --> 00:12:39,000 For crying out loud, you broke up with Robin? 243 00:12:39,111 --> 00:12:43,605 I had to. We were growing apart, and we're better off without each other. 244 00:12:43,716 --> 00:12:45,843 Okay, Lily, you sound about as convincing as you did... 245 00:12:45,951 --> 00:12:49,079 the time you accidentally shredded my Joey Buttafuoco pants. 246 00:12:50,723 --> 00:12:53,055 No! 247 00:12:53,159 --> 00:12:56,185 Get on the phone, call Robin and fix this. 248 00:12:56,295 --> 00:12:59,856 I can't. The damage is done. 249 00:12:59,965 --> 00:13:02,695 - Can you just hold me? - You know what? No. 250 00:13:02,802 --> 00:13:05,896 I don't agree with what you did, and so I refuse to comfort you... 251 00:13:06,005 --> 00:13:08,769 despite how adorable you are when you cry. 252 00:13:08,874 --> 00:13:10,569 Okay. 253 00:13:10,676 --> 00:13:14,203 Okay, maybe just one cuddle, but then that's it. 254 00:13:15,681 --> 00:13:17,706 Time Square's da bomb! 255 00:13:17,817 --> 00:13:20,342 I got so many great pictures of all the billboards. 256 00:13:20,453 --> 00:13:22,614 Yeah, you know, there's more to New York than Times Square. 257 00:13:22,722 --> 00:13:25,418 There's the Village, Lower East Side, Central Park. 258 00:13:25,524 --> 00:13:28,550 They got better billboards than the ones in Times Square? 259 00:13:28,661 --> 00:13:31,323 - No. - Times Square's da bomb! 260 00:13:31,430 --> 00:13:33,295 Here, you know what? Hold this, okay? 261 00:13:33,399 --> 00:13:35,959 I'm gonna go pee in the jar I got goin' in the alley. 262 00:13:37,837 --> 00:13:42,331 Seriously, dude, he has got to go. 263 00:13:42,441 --> 00:13:44,341 You need to be, like... 264 00:13:44,443 --> 00:13:46,411 "You are the weakest link. Good-bye." 265 00:13:47,513 --> 00:13:49,913 Punchy, the tribe has spoken. 266 00:13:50,015 --> 00:13:52,108 Please pack up your knives and go. 267 00:13:52,218 --> 00:13:54,618 Your work of art didn't work for us. 268 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:56,347 Your time's up. 269 00:13:56,455 --> 00:13:58,389 I have to ask you to leave the mansion. 270 00:13:58,491 --> 00:14:00,459 You must leave the château. 271 00:14:00,559 --> 00:14:02,151 Your tour ends here. 272 00:14:02,261 --> 00:14:04,855 - You've been chopped. - Okay. Yeah, I know. 273 00:14:04,964 --> 00:14:06,522 You've been evicted from the Big Brother house. 274 00:14:06,632 --> 00:14:10,363 Your dessert just didn't measure up. Sashay away. 275 00:14:10,469 --> 00:14:12,960 Give me a jacket and leave Hell's Kitchen! 276 00:14:13,072 --> 00:14:14,869 I'm sorry. You did not get a rose. 277 00:14:14,974 --> 00:14:16,942 You have been eliminated from the race. 278 00:14:17,042 --> 00:14:20,239 You are no longer in the running to be America's Next Top Model. 279 00:14:20,346 --> 00:14:21,973 You're fired. Auf Wiedersehen. 280 00:14:22,081 --> 00:14:25,448 Ted, come look at this. 281 00:14:25,551 --> 00:14:28,213 I found a little wounded bird in the alley. 282 00:14:30,356 --> 00:14:32,688 That's your scrotum. 283 00:14:32,792 --> 00:14:36,728 You know it is, Ted. You know it is. Come on, Ted. You always fall for that! 284 00:14:38,264 --> 00:14:40,732 Yeah, he's gotta go. 285 00:14:45,805 --> 00:14:47,773 What are we doing in Madison Square Garden? 286 00:14:47,873 --> 00:14:51,673 You refused to talk to Robin, so I thought that you might like to talk to... 287 00:14:51,777 --> 00:14:53,540 the organist for the New York Rangers. 288 00:14:56,615 --> 00:14:58,242 Jessica Glitter? 289 00:15:13,799 --> 00:15:15,858 How did you find Glitter? 290 00:15:15,968 --> 00:15:18,061 Simple, really. I used my powers of deduction. 291 00:15:18,170 --> 00:15:21,833 You see, I knew that Glitter used to be a keytarist, which is basically a piano... 292 00:15:21,941 --> 00:15:26,173 so I just made a list of all the keyboard-based occupations, and then I cross matched... 293 00:15:26,278 --> 00:15:29,577 His friend Barney looked me up, hoping to buy my Space Teens costume. 294 00:15:29,682 --> 00:15:33,015 And, Glitter, be cool. 295 00:15:33,118 --> 00:15:35,382 So, is this the one who's best friends with Robin now? 296 00:15:35,487 --> 00:15:40,288 No, more like ex-best friends. Just like you. 297 00:15:40,392 --> 00:15:42,519 Sorry to hear that. 298 00:15:42,628 --> 00:15:44,255 I miss Robin. 299 00:15:45,998 --> 00:15:48,694 Yeah, well, Marshall and I are about to get pregnant... 300 00:15:48,801 --> 00:15:53,295 and I know she stopped being friends with you when you had a baby, so... 301 00:15:53,405 --> 00:15:55,532 Oh, Robin didn't stop being friends with me. 302 00:15:55,641 --> 00:15:58,769 - I stopped being friends with her. - What? Why? 303 00:15:58,878 --> 00:16:00,812 Because I had a baby. 304 00:16:00,913 --> 00:16:03,973 Honey, when you have a baby, all that best friend stuff... 305 00:16:04,083 --> 00:16:06,745 hockey, bow hunting for caribou, math... 306 00:16:06,852 --> 00:16:08,752 that all goes out the window. 307 00:16:08,854 --> 00:16:11,755 I mean, I tried to stay friends with her, but it just didn't happen. 308 00:16:11,857 --> 00:16:13,757 She took it pretty hard. 309 00:16:13,859 --> 00:16:15,918 I even thought she might try to kill herself. 310 00:16:18,497 --> 00:16:20,328 Charge! 311 00:16:20,432 --> 00:16:23,458 Wow, you dumped her just because you had a baby? 312 00:16:23,569 --> 00:16:27,972 - That's cold. - Didn't you do the same thing, minus the baby? 313 00:16:28,073 --> 00:16:30,598 Oh, God. I gotta go. 314 00:16:30,709 --> 00:16:32,574 I gotta go apologize to Robin. 315 00:16:32,678 --> 00:16:36,273 l-I need to tell her I love her and that she'll always be a priority. 316 00:16:36,382 --> 00:16:39,010 Be careful, Lily. I made those promises too. 317 00:16:39,118 --> 00:16:42,815 And now I haven't even talked to her in five years. 318 00:16:42,922 --> 00:16:48,019 Sure, I thought about picking up the phone and calling her a hundred times... 319 00:16:48,127 --> 00:16:50,425 but I just never have the courage to act... 320 00:16:53,198 --> 00:16:55,029 Hey! 321 00:16:56,368 --> 00:16:58,393 Go ahead. 322 00:17:05,177 --> 00:17:07,543 Hey, do you guys get Big Chuck and Lil'John out here? 323 00:17:07,646 --> 00:17:10,444 - Punchy, it's time to go back. - Back to Times Square? 324 00:17:10,549 --> 00:17:13,382 Uh, no. Back... Back to Cleveland. 325 00:17:13,485 --> 00:17:15,680 I don't know if I can do that, bro. 326 00:17:15,788 --> 00:17:18,814 I mean, yeah, I been jonesin' for a piece of Cleveland-style pizza... 327 00:17:18,924 --> 00:17:21,154 but I feel bad about leaving you out here. 328 00:17:21,260 --> 00:17:24,889 - I worry about you, Ted. - You worry about me? 329 00:17:24,997 --> 00:17:27,625 Yeah. The other day when you called... 330 00:17:27,733 --> 00:17:29,132 - Schmosby! - Punchy! 331 00:17:29,234 --> 00:17:31,361 - Good talkin' to you. - You too. If you're ever in New York. 332 00:17:31,470 --> 00:17:33,335 Definitely. 333 00:17:36,442 --> 00:17:39,138 - Sweetie, who was that? - It's my friend Ted. 334 00:17:39,244 --> 00:17:42,736 - He sounded kind of depressed. - Is this the Ted who got left at the altar? 335 00:17:42,848 --> 00:17:46,511 Yeah. He's not doin' so good. 336 00:17:46,618 --> 00:17:50,918 Poor guy lives in a tiny apartment in New York nowhere near Times Square. 337 00:17:51,023 --> 00:17:53,491 He's got no family around. He's still single. 338 00:17:53,592 --> 00:17:56,390 Doesn't have a backyard. It's just a bummer. 339 00:17:56,495 --> 00:17:59,123 Maybe you should go visit him, cheer him up a little. 340 00:17:59,231 --> 00:18:02,359 You know, buy him some shots, do the whole wounded bird trick. 341 00:18:02,468 --> 00:18:05,494 - You think that will work? - Worked on me. 342 00:18:08,273 --> 00:18:11,606 Wow. She sounds pretty great, Punchy. 343 00:18:12,678 --> 00:18:14,509 She's my angel. 344 00:18:14,613 --> 00:18:17,207 In fact, uh, we're getting married. 345 00:18:18,083 --> 00:18:20,313 Wow! Wow! That's... 346 00:18:20,419 --> 00:18:22,080 I'm... I'm really happy for you. 347 00:18:22,187 --> 00:18:23,916 Thanks, Ted. Thanks. 348 00:18:24,023 --> 00:18:26,753 Actually, that's the other reason why I came out here. 349 00:18:26,859 --> 00:18:29,919 I wanted to see if you'd be my best man. 350 00:18:31,964 --> 00:18:33,625 - Of course I will. - Yo! 351 00:18:33,732 --> 00:18:35,859 That's great. Oh, no, you're... 352 00:18:35,968 --> 00:18:39,335 - Cop out! Sucker! Oh, that's it! I'm not... - Yeah. 353 00:18:39,571 --> 00:18:42,938 That night, Lily went to the one place she knew she could find Robin... 354 00:18:43,042 --> 00:18:45,636 New York's premiere Canadian bar, the Hoser Hut. 355 00:18:45,744 --> 00:18:49,373 Oh, there you are. Robin, I owe you a huge apology. 356 00:18:49,481 --> 00:18:51,278 No, no. Me first. 357 00:18:51,383 --> 00:18:53,544 I've been pulling away from you, and I'm sorry. 358 00:18:53,652 --> 00:18:56,382 It's just, the last time my best friend had a baby... 359 00:18:56,488 --> 00:18:58,353 I know. I know all about it. 360 00:18:58,457 --> 00:19:01,654 It's not gonna happen with you and me. 361 00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:04,957 And I'm sorry I've been going crazy with this baby stuff. 362 00:19:05,064 --> 00:19:07,089 It's... I know you hate babies. 363 00:19:07,199 --> 00:19:10,498 Whoa. Look, I hate most babies. 364 00:19:10,602 --> 00:19:14,060 But your baby... I'm gonna love that kid so much. 365 00:19:14,173 --> 00:19:16,573 - I'm gonna pick it up and everything. - Oh! 366 00:19:17,943 --> 00:19:21,902 - Ohh. I'm so happy you guys made up. - Me too. 367 00:19:22,014 --> 00:19:25,074 Where do I know this song from? 368 00:19:25,184 --> 00:19:28,244 Oh, my God. It's the beaver song. Okay, which one of you put this on? 369 00:19:51,210 --> 00:19:55,010 - Wow, this is so dirty. - Come on, Barney. It's a sweet song about friendship. 370 00:19:55,114 --> 00:19:56,672 Yeah. Dude, come on. 371 00:20:26,011 --> 00:20:27,035 Whoo! 372 00:20:59,144 --> 00:21:00,512 Whoo! 373 00:21:24,803 --> 00:21:25,770 English - US - SDH