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www.tvsubtitles.net

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Kids, in the fall of 2010,

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I was hosting my
very first Thanksgiving.

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And I wanted it
to be unforgettable.

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Instead of stuffing, I'm going
to fill the turkey with...

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a slightly smaller turkey.

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It's called a Turturkeykey!

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A Turturkeykey?
Mm-hmm.

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Uh-uh, oh-oh.
Yeah, I was there for

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the "insertion."
He used shoehorns.

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I'll be having sides.

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Your loss.
All right, it's dead in here.

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I'm gonna call it
a little early.

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What? No!
You can't go now.

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It's the night
before Thanksgiving.

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College chicks
are back in town.

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Their moms just made
a snide comment

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about the weight they gained.

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They called her a bitch,

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but deep down,
they know she's right.

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And they're about to walk
through that door,

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where we will be waiting

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with some light beer
and some rock hard approval.

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Wh-what u-up?

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Yeah. You don't want
to bail early, man.

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You could become The Blitz.

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Blitz was a guy
we knew in college.

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Sadly, he was cursed.

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Well...

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I'm calling it a little early.

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Wh... you sure?
We got big plans.

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Yeah. Remember how last week
we fired up a sandwich,

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and we listened to Pink Floyd's
Dark Side of the Moon

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while watching The Wizard of Oz?

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Well, tonight,

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we're doing the same thing,

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only with "Weird Al" Yankovic's
Greatest Hits

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and Apocalypse Now.

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We'll see what happens.

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Nah, it's Kraft/Croft night:
mac and cheese and Tomb Raider.

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Biz-zow!

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You see, every time
Blitz left a place,

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something amazing happened.

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Oh! I'm sorry.

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I thought this was my room.

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Completely naked!
Completely naked!

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Aw, man!

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And the movie
was awesome.

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Aw, man!

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At the exact moment
Brando first appeared,

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"Weird Al" launched
right into "Eat It."

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Aw, man!

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And over the years,

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"The Curse of The Blitz"
continued.

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Well, I'm gonna call it.

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I just got Madden 2K1, and I
can't stop thinking about it.

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See you later!
Bye-bye!

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All right, bye-bye!
Okay, later!

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Good-bye!
Bye-Bye!

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(pop)

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Tap's broke!
Can't turn 'em off!

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Free beer for everyone!

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Free beer for everyone!

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Free beer for everyone!

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Aw, man!

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You know what?

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Ted, go ahead— leave early
to do something lame.

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Just don't blame us
if you become... The Blitz.

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All
right, first of all...

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there's nothing lame
about brining a Turturkeykey,

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copyright pending.
And secondly,

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I don't believe "The Curse
of The Blitz" is real.

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Kids, I'd live
to regret those words.

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You see, the "Curse of Blitz"
could be passed

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from one person to the next,
at any moment.

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Blitz had gotten the curse from
Jerry Windheim,

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back in freshman year,
who got it years before that

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from Davey Beaterman.

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The original Blitz, Matt Blitz,

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was a guy who went to Wesleyan
back in the '60s.

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He dropped out right before
the school went co-ed.

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And then,
Thanksgiving morning...

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What the hell happened here?

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Hey! Morning, Blitz!

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Aw, man!

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No, no! Let's get
one thing straight, okay?

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I am not The Blitz.

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Okay, fine.

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The Gentleman!

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The Gentleman!
Wait! Wait! Wait!

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What's that?
What's "The Gentleman"?

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Oh, you had to be
there, Blitz. Yes.

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I'm not The Blitz!

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Zoey?

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Morning, Blitz!

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Transcript by Addic7ed.com

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www.addic7ed.com

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Kids, you remember Zoey.

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For the last two months,

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she'd been making my life hell.

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Thanks, guys!

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Last night was amazing!

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The Gentleman!

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The Gentle...

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How could you,
my best friends in the world,

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hang out with
my mortal enemy,

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then let her sleep in the tub
where I clean myself?

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Sorry, Ted.
We can explain.

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After you Blitzed out
last night...

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I'm not The Blitz!

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Oh, my God...

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That's Zoey!

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That's Ted's enemy.

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Which means
she's our enemy.

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Let's take
this bitch down.

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Huh? Huh?

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Who's got your back?

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Now let's have dinner!

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Finish the story, Red.

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Okay, well, we all
started brainstorming

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ways to mess with her.

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There were a lot of different
ideas kicking around.

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And then I'm just going to leave
her there... buck-naked,

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covered in candle wax,
tied to the bed.

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Barney, I know that
Ted doesn't like that girl,

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but that's a little extreme.

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Wait— Ted doesn't
like that girl?

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Okay.
Wh...?

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Well, I got it.

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You see that silk scarf?

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I'm going
to steal it.

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Can I... help you?

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Yeah. Yeah!

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My name is Lily Aldrin.

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I'm a friend of Ted Mosby's,
so you better...

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You're Lily Aldrin?
The painter?

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Well, yeah.

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You're amazing!

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I bought a bunch of your
paintings online.

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That was you? Yeah.

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Oh! Thanks!

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Look, none of us meant
for it to happen, but, well,

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we had an awesome night
with her.

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The Gentleman!

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And then, the craziest thing
happened.

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I missed a skateboarding dog?

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Yeah, but that
wasn't the crazy part.

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It wasn't?

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Okay, Marshall.

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Truth or dare?

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Okay, awesome.

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Well, Lily doesn't
let me do truths.

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So, dare.

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Okay.

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I dare you to send
a picture of your junk

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to a complete stranger.

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Best idea ever!

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Worst idea ever!

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My junk ended up in
some stranger's pocket.

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If there phone was on vibrate,
I basically dry-humped them.

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Ho, ho, ho, ho! Whoa!
Yay!

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Yeah.
Okay.

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Everybody shout out
random numbers.

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Um.
4, 8...

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15, 16, 23, 42!

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And... send!

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Wait. Blitz was there, too?

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The Gentleman!
The Gentleman!

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Oh, I was there
for the whole thing.

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Something inside me
just said

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"Grand Theft Auto"
can wait a night.

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It was legen—

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wait for Ted to leave,
'cause he's now The Blitz—

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— dary.
Legendary!

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I'm not The Blitz!

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I'm afraid you are, Ted.

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You see, when you left
last night,

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you changed
the course of Blitztory.

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Blitz...

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I'm finally free!
I mean, you have no idea

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what I've missed
all these years:

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The university
president's toupee

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being snatched by a hawk
at graduation,

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Zeppelin reuniting
at my cousin Ira's bar mitzvah,

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countless nip-slips,
crotch shots,

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shooting stars
and double rainbows.

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I've missed them all!

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Well, not anymore, Blitz.

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My name's not Blitz.

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My name is Steve!

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Colors seem so bright now.

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Thank you, Blitz.
What? No!

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N- n-n-n-no! N-n-no!
I'm not The Blitz!

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The only thing I missed
last night was my best friends

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stabbing me in the back by
hanging out with my worst enemy.

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Guys!

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I hate Zoey!

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That means you're supposed to
hate her, too!

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Th-that's your rule, Lily!

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I tried.

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Tried?

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00:08:27,868 --> 00:08:29,737
Lily, do you have any idea

203
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how many people
I've blindly hated for you?

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I hated Renée Zellweger
with a burning passion

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for eight years,

206
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only to discover
you meant Reese Witherspoon!

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00:08:39,090 --> 00:08:42,195
Hey, I will hate her
until I get my money back

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for You, Me and Dupree!

209
00:08:43,566 --> 00:08:45,101
That's Kate Hudson!

210
00:08:45,102 --> 00:08:47,138
Oh, yeah.
That's who I hate.

211
00:08:47,139 --> 00:08:48,542
Guys, we hate Kate Hudson.

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No, we hate Zoey!

213
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I'm so furious
at you all right now,

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but it's Thanksgiving, and
I have a Turturkeykey to make.

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And not that I'm The Blitz,

216
00:09:00,165 --> 00:09:03,070
but could everyone please come
with me into the kitchen?

217
00:09:05,242 --> 00:09:07,212
Okay, I'm, uh,

218
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just gonna preheat the oven.

219
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The oven.

220
00:09:10,887 --> 00:09:12,222
Hey, Robin,

221
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you should dance
on the oven.

222
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Make out with Zoey!

223
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Make out with Zoey!
Make out...

224
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Did they tell you about
the skateboarding dog?

225
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It was awesome!

226
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Great. So not only did
you guys betray me,

227
00:09:40,026 --> 00:09:42,396
but you broke my oven
on Thanksgiving?

228
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Full disclosure.

229
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We also used all your butter,
greasing up Lily

230
00:09:45,436 --> 00:09:48,374
so we could see how far we could
slide her down the hall.

231
00:09:49,144 --> 00:09:51,682
But if it helps, I reached 4G.

232
00:09:51,683 --> 00:09:54,521
It doesn't help. 4G?

233
00:09:54,522 --> 00:09:55,523
Mm-hmm.

234
00:09:55,524 --> 00:09:56,658
No.

235
00:09:56,659 --> 00:09:58,529
What-What are we supposed
to do now?

236
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This is
awesome!

237
00:10:01,836 --> 00:10:04,474
I'm part of this!

238
00:10:04,475 --> 00:10:05,776
Barney, I don't know

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00:10:05,777 --> 00:10:08,147
if the oven
is deep enough. Plus,

240
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it's a display
made of cardboard.

241
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Huh. I should probably
disconnect the gas.

242
00:10:15,597 --> 00:10:17,332
Hey, just so
you guys know,

243
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there was a tiny explosion
at the sewage treatment plant

244
00:10:20,005 --> 00:10:21,675
across the street
from our apartment,

245
00:10:21,676 --> 00:10:23,579
but I'm sure
it's fine by now.

246
00:10:23,580 --> 00:10:24,948
This is awesome!

247
00:10:24,949 --> 00:10:26,083
It's not awesome!

248
00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:29,123
I think the smaller
turkey just tried

249
00:10:29,124 --> 00:10:32,429
to crawl further
inside the bigger turkey.

250
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,636
Um...

251
00:10:35,637 --> 00:10:38,809
Um... I'm have...

252
00:10:38,810 --> 00:10:41,030
I'm having trouble breathing!

253
00:10:42,551 --> 00:10:44,987
Mom keeps an extra
litter box in here.

254
00:10:45,841 --> 00:10:47,660
There you go.

255
00:10:47,661 --> 00:10:49,296
Good as new.

256
00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:52,435
Oh. Hey, Ginger.

257
00:10:54,809 --> 00:10:56,695
Ted, you're not
gonna like this,

258
00:10:56,696 --> 00:10:58,565
but we do have one other option.

259
00:10:59,685 --> 00:11:01,120
Hey, you guys

260
00:11:01,121 --> 00:11:03,224
should come to my house
for Thanksgiving.

261
00:11:03,225 --> 00:11:05,696
My husband always spends
it with his daughter,

262
00:11:05,697 --> 00:11:07,299
so I'm going to be alone anyway.

263
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:08,886
Could we bring Ted?

264
00:11:09,738 --> 00:11:11,741
It's Thanksgiving.

265
00:11:11,742 --> 00:11:12,844
What the hell?

266
00:11:16,953 --> 00:11:18,906
No. Absolutely not.

267
00:11:18,907 --> 00:11:20,743
Come on. Give her a chance.

268
00:11:20,744 --> 00:11:22,563
Ted, you violated a dead turkey

269
00:11:22,564 --> 00:11:24,283
with another dead turkey.

270
00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:26,036
Don't let that be in vain.

271
00:11:26,037 --> 00:11:28,074
Guys? Wait a minute.

272
00:11:28,075 --> 00:11:29,544
Where's Barney?

273
00:11:31,047 --> 00:11:33,886
And here's the twist, Babaka.

274
00:11:33,887 --> 00:11:38,462
Because Ted left early,
he's now The Blitz!

275
00:11:38,463 --> 00:11:40,699
But Barney,
now you left the group.

276
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:43,572
Wouldn't that put you in danger
of becoming The Blitz yourself?

277
00:11:43,573 --> 00:11:45,341
No. I c...

278
00:11:45,342 --> 00:11:47,446
Because...

279
00:11:47,447 --> 00:11:49,584
Step on it.

280
00:11:51,589 --> 00:11:53,007
You missed it.

281
00:11:53,008 --> 00:11:54,092
Oh, my goodness.

282
00:11:54,093 --> 00:11:55,395
Our cab took
a wrong turn.

283
00:11:55,396 --> 00:11:57,365
We were in the
Thanksgiving Day parade!

284
00:11:57,366 --> 00:12:00,405
Tony Bennett passed Ted the mike
and he sang "Twist and Shout!"

285
00:12:00,406 --> 00:12:01,992
But he's The Blitz.

286
00:12:01,993 --> 00:12:05,114
No. I'm not The Blitz.

287
00:12:05,115 --> 00:12:06,484
I'm The Bueller.

288
00:12:07,286 --> 00:12:08,421
You know what this means.

289
00:12:08,422 --> 00:12:10,091
You're The Blitz.

290
00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:14,550
Blitz...

291
00:12:16,539 --> 00:12:18,140
Oh, God, no!

292
00:12:18,141 --> 00:12:19,560
Life moves
pretty fast, Barney.

293
00:12:19,561 --> 00:12:21,848
If you don't stop and
look around once in a while,

294
00:12:21,849 --> 00:12:23,150
you might miss it.

295
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,489
Chicka-chicka!

296
00:12:28,028 --> 00:12:30,048
Happy Thanksgiving!

297
00:12:31,034 --> 00:12:32,369
Ted.

298
00:12:32,370 --> 00:12:33,905
Zoey.

299
00:12:34,942 --> 00:12:38,682
Best friend alert!

300
00:12:41,354 --> 00:12:44,292
Okay, the Turturkeykey
is officially cooking.

301
00:12:44,293 --> 00:12:46,063
Oh, God, that is disgusting!

302
00:12:46,064 --> 00:12:49,369
Okay, guys,
that's starting to hurt.

303
00:12:49,370 --> 00:12:50,672
No... no, Ted.

304
00:12:50,673 --> 00:12:53,110
Random number guy just
sent me his wang back.

305
00:12:53,111 --> 00:12:54,346
Wow.

306
00:12:54,347 --> 00:12:57,770
You sent a wang out,
and you got a wang back.

307
00:12:57,771 --> 00:12:58,955
It's a boom-a-wang.

308
00:12:58,956 --> 00:13:00,425
Nice.
Thank you.

309
00:13:00,426 --> 00:13:01,995
No, I meant the wang.

310
00:13:01,996 --> 00:13:03,799
Barney, could you
get me some more ice?

311
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:05,903
Sure.

312
00:13:05,904 --> 00:13:07,940
But... no one move
while I'm gone.

313
00:13:07,941 --> 00:13:09,444
I'm scared.

314
00:13:09,445 --> 00:13:10,411
You're safe.

315
00:13:10,412 --> 00:13:11,798
It's okay to leave the room.

316
00:13:11,799 --> 00:13:13,350
You have to actually
leave the building

317
00:13:13,351 --> 00:13:14,487
for something cool to happen.

318
00:13:14,488 --> 00:13:15,989
Thanks.

319
00:13:15,990 --> 00:13:18,862
You're the only one
who's nice to me about this.

320
00:13:21,017 --> 00:13:23,204
Okay, I got to test this.

321
00:13:28,549 --> 00:13:30,351
What happened?

322
00:13:31,187 --> 00:13:32,756
You missed it!

323
00:13:32,757 --> 00:13:34,460
Dude, you walked
out of the room,

324
00:13:34,461 --> 00:13:38,033
the laws of physics stopped
and the laws of awesome tripled.

325
00:13:38,970 --> 00:13:41,508
Aw, man!
You said I could leave the room!

326
00:13:41,509 --> 00:13:43,645
I just wanted to see
something cool happen.

327
00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:45,549
I'm sorry.

328
00:13:45,550 --> 00:13:47,820
But I was on that island
for what seems like eternity.

329
00:13:47,821 --> 00:13:49,857
I'm going to enjoy
things on the other side.

330
00:13:49,858 --> 00:13:52,078
No! Y-You...

331
00:13:52,079 --> 00:13:53,364
Robin, Robin.

332
00:13:53,365 --> 00:13:56,003
I will pay you to be The Blitz.

333
00:13:56,004 --> 00:13:58,090
$100! No— $10,000.

334
00:13:58,091 --> 00:13:59,477
No— 60 bucks.

335
00:13:59,478 --> 00:14:01,548
That's a lot of money
for someone like you.

336
00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:04,654
Dude, The Blitz isn't something
that can be bought or sold.

337
00:14:04,655 --> 00:14:06,558
Yeah, it's not like
Ted's integrity.

338
00:14:06,559 --> 00:14:07,826
Oh, what was that?

339
00:14:07,827 --> 00:14:09,730
I was distracted by
the four-caret diamond

340
00:14:09,731 --> 00:14:11,400
your 53-year-old
husband bought you.

341
00:14:11,401 --> 00:14:12,603
Facial!

342
00:14:12,604 --> 00:14:13,805
Now, if you'll excuse me,

343
00:14:13,806 --> 00:14:15,609
I have a turturkeykey
to baste.

344
00:14:15,610 --> 00:14:16,711
I'm coming
with you.

345
00:14:16,712 --> 00:14:19,049
No... I baste alone.

346
00:14:19,050 --> 00:14:20,752
Oh, I'm sure
you're a master baster, Ted.

347
00:14:20,753 --> 00:14:22,723
Word play. Loving it.

348
00:14:22,724 --> 00:14:23,792
But relax.

349
00:14:23,793 --> 00:14:24,794
I've got a ton of sides

350
00:14:24,795 --> 00:14:26,263
to heat up
since my plans fell through.

351
00:14:26,264 --> 00:14:27,866
Who canceled? Your coven?

352
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:30,304
Coven. Group of witches.
Boom.

353
00:14:30,305 --> 00:14:32,977
Yeah. They were worn out from
putting that spell on your hair.

354
00:14:32,978 --> 00:14:34,580
Oh! Serve returned.

355
00:14:34,581 --> 00:14:35,849
Are you happy?

356
00:14:35,850 --> 00:14:37,185
You're ruining Thanksgiving.

357
00:14:37,186 --> 00:14:38,788
Well, you're not exactly
who I thought

358
00:14:38,789 --> 00:14:40,358
I'd be spending
Thanksgiving with, either.

359
00:14:41,478 --> 00:14:43,515
God, I'm so happy to be here.

360
00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:45,802
My face hurts from smiling.

361
00:14:45,803 --> 00:14:47,472
Oh...
I'm sorry, Lily.

362
00:14:47,473 --> 00:14:49,109
I'm just never going
to like that woman.

363
00:14:49,110 --> 00:14:50,529
Ted, give her a chance.

364
00:14:50,530 --> 00:14:51,881
Enemies can't become friends.

365
00:14:51,882 --> 00:14:53,217
Yes, they can.

366
00:14:53,218 --> 00:14:54,252
Right, guys?

367
00:14:56,207 --> 00:14:57,659
No, no, no.
You guys can't be objective.

368
00:14:57,660 --> 00:14:58,995
You still feel guilty
about last night.

369
00:14:58,996 --> 00:15:00,064
Well, let's get
an outside opinion.

370
00:15:00,065 --> 00:15:01,099
Who are we gonna—

371
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:02,836
"Dear Wang Guy..."
Oh.

372
00:15:02,837 --> 00:15:05,742
"Can enemies
ever be friends?

373
00:15:05,743 --> 00:15:07,345
Just wondering."

374
00:15:07,346 --> 00:15:08,848
Really?

375
00:15:08,849 --> 00:15:11,587
Wang Guy?
We're asking Wang Guy?

376
00:15:11,588 --> 00:15:13,123
He's bold and uninhibited,

377
00:15:13,124 --> 00:15:14,493
so why not?

378
00:15:14,494 --> 00:15:17,766
And guys, you know what?
For fun, why don't we ask him

379
00:15:17,767 --> 00:15:19,537
what he does for a living?

380
00:15:19,538 --> 00:15:21,541
Wouldn't that be fun?

381
00:15:21,542 --> 00:15:23,210
Just ask...
Aww.

382
00:15:23,211 --> 00:15:25,749
You've got a little crush
on Wang Guy, don't you?

383
00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:28,153
What? No. Shut up.

384
00:15:28,154 --> 00:15:29,523
I hate him.

385
00:15:29,524 --> 00:15:30,559
Oh, look.

386
00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:32,295
We got an answer.
Here it is.

387
00:15:32,296 --> 00:15:35,368
"Yes, enemies
can become friends.

388
00:15:35,369 --> 00:15:38,073
"Remember what Gandhi said.

389
00:15:38,074 --> 00:15:40,846
'Be the change you want
to see in the world.'"

390
00:15:40,847 --> 00:15:43,518
Uh, did Wang Guy
just quote Gandhi?

391
00:15:43,519 --> 00:15:45,254
That is amazing.

392
00:15:45,255 --> 00:15:46,774
And I was here for it.

393
00:15:46,775 --> 00:15:49,764
Now Zoey is The Blitz.
Ha, ha!

394
00:15:49,765 --> 00:15:52,268
Burn on her.

395
00:15:53,405 --> 00:15:54,640
Come on, man.

396
00:15:54,641 --> 00:15:56,477
Don't be that Blitz.

397
00:15:56,478 --> 00:15:58,180
I'm not any Blitz!

398
00:15:58,181 --> 00:15:59,349
You're The Blitz!

399
00:15:59,350 --> 00:16:00,952
You're all The Blitz!

400
00:16:00,953 --> 00:16:03,992
I slept with that cute
Indian girl who cuts my hair!

401
00:16:03,993 --> 00:16:05,862
What does that have
to do with anything?

402
00:16:05,863 --> 00:16:06,964
Nothing! I just forgot

403
00:16:06,965 --> 00:16:09,904
to brag about
it before!

404
00:16:09,905 --> 00:16:12,241
Guys, despite the wit and wisdom
of Wang Guy,

405
00:16:12,242 --> 00:16:14,613
Zoey and I are never going
to be friends.

406
00:16:14,614 --> 00:16:17,653
We're just here for
her oven and that's it.

407
00:16:17,654 --> 00:16:18,888
Whoa!
Oh, my God!

408
00:16:18,889 --> 00:16:21,694
Did you do that on purpose?

409
00:16:21,695 --> 00:16:23,130
What? No. It was
an accident.

410
00:16:23,131 --> 00:16:24,199
Oh, yeah. Well,
like this is.

411
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:25,535
Oh, great. Real mature.

412
00:16:25,536 --> 00:16:27,371
Yeah, well,
you started it.

413
00:16:28,559 --> 00:16:30,745
Just stop it!

414
00:16:30,746 --> 00:16:34,085
God, can't you two just
stop fighting for one day?

415
00:16:34,086 --> 00:16:37,258
Like, when
the Roadrunner and the Coyote

416
00:16:37,259 --> 00:16:39,229
clocked out
and had a beer together?

417
00:16:39,230 --> 00:16:42,268
Or-Or-Or Tom and Jerry
shared a cup of coffee.

418
00:16:42,269 --> 00:16:44,072
Lily, those are
cartoon characters,

419
00:16:44,073 --> 00:16:46,009
and I'm pretty sure
you're making up episodes.

420
00:16:46,010 --> 00:16:48,781
And if Zoey is a
cartoon character,

421
00:16:48,782 --> 00:16:50,952
she's Cinderella's
evil stepmother!

422
00:16:50,953 --> 00:16:53,190
Oh, get out.

423
00:16:53,191 --> 00:16:54,359
All of you, out!

424
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:55,929
But it's Thanksgiving.

425
00:16:55,930 --> 00:16:57,766
And I'm a part of it.

426
00:16:57,767 --> 00:16:59,202
Out!

427
00:17:01,742 --> 00:17:04,513
Wait... Where's Barney?

428
00:17:04,514 --> 00:17:06,299
Hey, guys, the most amazing
thing just happened

429
00:17:06,300 --> 00:17:07,786
to me in that other roo...

430
00:17:10,425 --> 00:17:12,596
Aw, man.

431
00:17:15,909 --> 00:17:17,778
I don't get it.
Why'd she just

432
00:17:17,779 --> 00:17:19,297
kick us out like that?

433
00:17:19,298 --> 00:17:20,951
And then the cab driver said

434
00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:23,088
the last thing any
of us wanted to hear.

435
00:17:23,089 --> 00:17:24,424
Where to?

436
00:17:27,566 --> 00:17:29,434
I guess we're going home.

437
00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:35,146
Yeah. I don't know
where that is.

438
00:17:44,666 --> 00:17:46,936
Lily, where'd you get that?

439
00:17:46,937 --> 00:17:49,007
Oh.

440
00:17:49,008 --> 00:17:50,276
When Zoey booted us,

441
00:17:50,277 --> 00:17:52,748
it made me want to steal
something of hers again.

442
00:17:52,749 --> 00:17:56,405
Apartment full of designer
labels, and what do I grab?

443
00:17:56,406 --> 00:17:59,996
"Happy Turkey Day, Hannah.
Love, Zoey."

444
00:17:59,997 --> 00:18:02,868
I wonder who Hannah is.

445
00:18:06,610 --> 00:18:09,247
Hey, you guys should come
to my house for Thanksgiving.

446
00:18:09,248 --> 00:18:10,349
My husband always

447
00:18:10,350 --> 00:18:11,486
spends it with his daughter,

448
00:18:11,487 --> 00:18:13,088
so I'm going
to be alone, anyway.

449
00:18:13,089 --> 00:18:14,525
Well, you're not exactly
who I thought

450
00:18:14,526 --> 00:18:16,161
I'd be spending
Thanksgiving with, either.

451
00:18:16,162 --> 00:18:18,165
And if Zoey is a
cartoon character,

452
00:18:18,166 --> 00:18:20,336
she's Cinderella's
evil stepmother!

453
00:18:20,337 --> 00:18:22,240
Get out!

454
00:18:22,241 --> 00:18:23,810
All of you, out!

455
00:18:26,215 --> 00:18:28,269
We have to go back to Zoey's.

456
00:18:30,123 --> 00:18:32,561
You gotta throw me
some addresses, buddy.

457
00:18:35,267 --> 00:18:37,437
Oh, God.

458
00:18:37,438 --> 00:18:39,642
What are you doing here?

459
00:18:39,643 --> 00:18:41,111
Barney let us in.

460
00:18:41,981 --> 00:18:43,148
Barney was here?

461
00:18:43,149 --> 00:18:44,317
I was walking around half-naked.

462
00:18:44,318 --> 00:18:46,221
Aw, man!

463
00:18:46,222 --> 00:18:48,359
Wait. Which half?

464
00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:50,681
Look, I'm sorry your
stepdaughter didn't want

465
00:18:50,682 --> 00:18:52,300
to spend
Thanksgiving with you.

466
00:18:52,301 --> 00:18:53,937
How do you know that?

467
00:18:53,938 --> 00:18:55,272
I just do.

468
00:18:55,273 --> 00:18:56,843
It must be tough.

469
00:18:56,844 --> 00:19:00,617
It was the first Thanksgiving
Hannah agreed to spend with me,

470
00:19:00,618 --> 00:19:04,458
and then at the last minute,
she changed her mind.

471
00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:06,896
She hates my guts.

472
00:19:08,768 --> 00:19:10,002
I get that.

473
00:19:10,972 --> 00:19:14,177
Uh, you should
hang on to this.

474
00:19:14,178 --> 00:19:15,731
You can give it
to her next year.

475
00:19:15,732 --> 00:19:18,318
Yeah...

476
00:19:18,319 --> 00:19:19,789
Right.

477
00:19:19,790 --> 00:19:21,993
Next year.

478
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:23,295
Hey, you never know.

479
00:19:23,296 --> 00:19:25,366
People don't
stay enemies forever.

480
00:19:26,637 --> 00:19:29,642
And that's the story of how
Zoey and I became friends.

481
00:19:29,643 --> 00:19:30,677
Cheers.

482
00:19:30,678 --> 00:19:32,180
Cheers.

483
00:19:32,181 --> 00:19:33,215
Before we eat,

484
00:19:33,216 --> 00:19:34,485
we should take a group picture

485
00:19:34,486 --> 00:19:35,921
and send it to Wang Guy.

486
00:19:35,922 --> 00:19:37,023
Ooh. Oh. Great idea.

487
00:19:37,024 --> 00:19:37,958
All right.

488
00:19:37,959 --> 00:19:40,096
Okay.

489
00:19:40,097 --> 00:19:41,298
Here we go.

490
00:19:41,299 --> 00:19:43,235
One, two, three.

491
00:19:44,338 --> 00:19:48,145
Ted, that is the
best-looking turturkeykey

492
00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:49,448
I have ever seen.

493
00:19:49,449 --> 00:19:50,851
Yeah.
Yeah.

494
00:19:50,852 --> 00:19:52,320
Thank you.
Let's just hope it tastes

495
00:19:52,321 --> 00:19:53,322
as good as it looks.

496
00:19:53,323 --> 00:19:54,658
It didn't.

497
00:19:54,659 --> 00:19:56,729
It tasted wrong.

498
00:19:56,730 --> 00:19:57,981
Oops.
We forgot to light the candles.

499
00:19:57,982 --> 00:20:00,504
Oh.
Oh, yeah.

500
00:20:00,505 --> 00:20:02,373
And just as Barney looked away,

501
00:20:02,374 --> 00:20:04,612
it happened.

502
00:20:31,900 --> 00:20:34,605
The Gentleman!

503
00:20:34,606 --> 00:20:37,310
What happened?
I saw it!

504
00:20:38,697 --> 00:20:40,700
Aw, come on, Blitz.
Now it's just sad.

505
00:20:40,701 --> 00:20:42,888
Aw, man.

506
00:20:46,361 --> 00:20:47,680
Oh, go ahead.

507
00:20:47,681 --> 00:20:50,017
I forgot my jacket.

508
00:20:50,018 --> 00:20:52,188
Oh, hold the door!

509
00:20:57,767 --> 00:20:59,436
Thank you, God!

510
00:20:59,437 --> 00:21:02,308
Aw, man!

511
00:21:02,309 --> 00:21:03,778
Blitz.

512
00:21:03,779 --> 00:21:06,416
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