1 00:00:01,254 --> 00:00:02,838 In December of 2010, 2 00:00:02,880 --> 00:00:06,759 my friends and I decided to 3 00:00:02,880 --> 00:00:06,759 go see It's a Wonderful Life 4 00:00:02,880 --> 00:00:06,759 on the big screen. 5 00:00:06,801 --> 00:00:09,011 It seemed like something 6 00:00:06,801 --> 00:00:09,011 we all needed. 7 00:00:09,053 --> 00:00:11,764 After all, it had been 8 00:00:09,053 --> 00:00:11,764 a crazy couple days. 9 00:00:11,806 --> 00:00:15,184 It all started 10 00:00:11,806 --> 00:00:15,184 with a pregnancy test. 11 00:00:15,226 --> 00:00:18,146 This is taking forever. 12 00:00:15,226 --> 00:00:18,146 Are you sure you 13 00:00:15,226 --> 00:00:18,146 did it right? 14 00:00:18,187 --> 00:00:20,773 Is there a wrong way 15 00:00:18,187 --> 00:00:20,773 to pee on a stick? 16 00:00:22,692 --> 00:00:25,778 Can I ask you a question 17 00:00:22,692 --> 00:00:25,778 that's plagued me for years? 18 00:00:22,692 --> 00:00:25,778 Can girls aim? 19 00:00:25,820 --> 00:00:27,905 Um, can boys aim? 20 00:00:27,947 --> 00:00:31,742 'Cause it seems to me like 21 00:00:27,947 --> 00:00:31,742 I'm takin' a mop to that 22 00:00:27,947 --> 00:00:31,742 bathroom floor every two days. 23 00:00:31,784 --> 00:00:34,412 Okay, you're the one who 24 00:00:31,784 --> 00:00:34,412 put the Far Side calendar 25 00:00:31,784 --> 00:00:34,412 up over the toilet. 26 00:00:34,454 --> 00:00:36,665 You know I laugh 27 00:00:34,454 --> 00:00:36,665 with my whole body. 28 00:00:37,832 --> 00:00:39,750 It's been two minutes. 29 00:00:42,837 --> 00:00:45,632 One, two, three. 30 00:00:46,466 --> 00:00:47,925 It's positive. 31 00:00:47,967 --> 00:00:49,552 It's positive? 32 00:00:47,967 --> 00:00:49,552 It's positive? 33 00:00:49,594 --> 00:00:51,137 It's positive. 34 00:00:49,594 --> 00:00:51,137 It's positive? 35 00:00:49,594 --> 00:00:51,137 It's positive! 36 00:00:51,179 --> 00:00:53,055 It's positive! 37 00:00:55,391 --> 00:00:57,893 - I'm pregnant. 38 00:00:55,391 --> 00:00:57,893 - What? 39 00:00:57,935 --> 00:00:59,812 I've never 40 00:00:57,935 --> 00:00:59,812 seen that woman 41 00:00:57,935 --> 00:00:59,812 before in my life. 42 00:00:59,854 --> 00:01:01,856 Sorry. Force of habit. 43 00:00:59,854 --> 00:01:01,856 Congratulations! 44 00:01:03,441 --> 00:01:05,234 To Lily and Marshall. 45 00:01:05,276 --> 00:01:07,737 To Lily 46 00:01:05,276 --> 00:01:07,737 and Marshall. 47 00:01:05,276 --> 00:01:07,737 Well, thank you. 48 00:01:07,778 --> 00:01:09,364 We've never been happier. 49 00:01:07,778 --> 00:01:09,364 Mmm. 50 00:01:09,405 --> 00:01:12,200 Can't imagine anything 51 00:01:09,405 --> 00:01:12,200 bringing me down right now. 52 00:01:12,241 --> 00:01:14,327 - You're not pregnant. 53 00:01:14,369 --> 00:01:16,663 Well, that did it. 54 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:31,720 Kids, this is the story... 55 00:01:31,761 --> 00:01:33,971 of the 36 hours we all thought 56 00:01:31,761 --> 00:01:33,971 Lily was pregnant... 57 00:01:34,013 --> 00:01:36,307 and how it caused each of us 58 00:01:34,013 --> 00:01:36,307 to reexamine our own lives. 59 00:01:36,349 --> 00:01:37,767 Because while 60 00:01:36,349 --> 00:01:37,767 this was happening... 61 00:01:37,808 --> 00:01:39,602 Are you sure 62 00:01:37,808 --> 00:01:39,602 you did it right? 63 00:01:39,644 --> 00:01:42,146 I was on the phone 64 00:01:39,644 --> 00:01:42,146 with Punchy, my best friend 65 00:01:39,644 --> 00:01:42,146 from high school, 66 00:01:42,188 --> 00:01:44,190 who had recently asked me 67 00:01:42,188 --> 00:01:44,190 to be his best man. 68 00:01:44,232 --> 00:01:46,192 Yeah, Punchy, I've given this 69 00:01:44,232 --> 00:01:46,192 some serious thought. 70 00:01:46,234 --> 00:01:48,944 I think I know how we can crush 71 00:01:46,234 --> 00:01:48,944 these floral arrangements. 72 00:01:48,986 --> 00:01:50,988 Here it comes. 73 00:01:48,986 --> 00:01:50,988 Hit me up, Schmos. 74 00:01:51,030 --> 00:01:55,243 Peonies, lavender blossoms 75 00:01:51,030 --> 00:01:55,243 with a halo of baby's breath... 76 00:01:55,284 --> 00:01:57,245 for an ambience 77 00:01:55,284 --> 00:01:57,245 of springtime rejuvenation. 78 00:01:57,286 --> 00:01:59,121 Crushed it! 79 00:01:59,163 --> 00:02:02,542 That's exactly 80 00:01:59,163 --> 00:02:02,542 the accent of whimsy 81 00:01:59,163 --> 00:02:02,542 this celebration of love needs! 82 00:02:02,584 --> 00:02:04,544 It's gonna be a magical day. 83 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:08,881 I know what you're thinkin'. 84 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:08,881 "I wish I was a dude." 85 00:02:08,923 --> 00:02:11,133 I do wish 86 00:02:08,923 --> 00:02:11,133 you were a dude. 87 00:02:11,175 --> 00:02:14,554 Because if I was a dude, I could 88 00:02:11,175 --> 00:02:14,554 have Ted Mosby as my best man. 89 00:02:14,596 --> 00:02:15,888 No. And here's why. 90 00:02:15,930 --> 00:02:17,890 Ted, the best man's job... 91 00:02:17,932 --> 00:02:21,436 is not to crush 92 00:02:17,932 --> 00:02:21,436 the floral arrangements. 93 00:02:21,477 --> 00:02:24,105 It's to get the groom 94 00:02:21,477 --> 00:02:24,105 down the aisle. 95 00:02:24,146 --> 00:02:27,108 Because no matter who he is, 96 00:02:24,146 --> 00:02:27,108 he will freak out. 97 00:02:27,149 --> 00:02:29,569 I just don't think you have what 98 00:02:27,149 --> 00:02:29,569 it takes to get that soldier... 99 00:02:29,611 --> 00:02:31,821 to pick up his rifle 100 00:02:29,611 --> 00:02:31,821 and charge up the hill. 101 00:02:31,862 --> 00:02:34,741 Uh, are you forgetting? 102 00:02:31,862 --> 00:02:34,741 I've done this before. 103 00:02:31,862 --> 00:02:34,741 I was Marshall's best man. 104 00:02:34,783 --> 00:02:36,284 And how did that go again? 105 00:02:36,325 --> 00:02:39,203 No! 106 00:02:39,245 --> 00:02:41,122 0 for 1. 107 00:02:41,163 --> 00:02:42,915 Oh, come on. 108 00:02:41,163 --> 00:02:42,915 That wasn't my fault. 109 00:02:42,957 --> 00:02:45,501 And need I remind you, 110 00:02:42,957 --> 00:02:45,501 I gave a beautiful toast. 111 00:02:45,543 --> 00:02:48,421 - Ted. 112 00:02:48,463 --> 00:02:52,341 O, do you take One to be 113 00:02:48,463 --> 00:02:52,341 your lawfully wedded wife? 114 00:02:52,383 --> 00:02:54,135 Oh, God, I'm freakin' out. 115 00:02:54,176 --> 00:02:56,721 Why did I choose Ted 116 00:02:54,176 --> 00:02:56,721 to be my best man? 117 00:02:56,763 --> 00:02:59,014 Uh, yeah, it's hard to 118 00:02:56,763 --> 00:02:59,014 take criticism from someone... 119 00:02:59,056 --> 00:03:02,852 who just recorded 120 00:02:59,056 --> 00:03:02,852 seven episodes of 121 00:02:59,056 --> 00:03:02,852 Million Dollar Heads or Tails. 122 00:03:02,893 --> 00:03:05,938 Kids, 123 00:03:02,893 --> 00:03:05,938 Million Dollar Heads or Tails 124 00:03:02,893 --> 00:03:05,938 was an extremely popular show... 125 00:03:05,980 --> 00:03:07,982 with an extremely 126 00:03:05,980 --> 00:03:07,982 simple premise. 127 00:03:08,023 --> 00:03:11,360 All right, your practice flip 128 00:03:08,023 --> 00:03:11,360 came up tails, 129 00:03:11,402 --> 00:03:15,948 but our Vegas oddsmaker 130 00:03:11,402 --> 00:03:15,948 tells us that the next toss 131 00:03:11,402 --> 00:03:15,948 is still just 50-50. 132 00:03:15,990 --> 00:03:18,868 And so, Jordan, 133 00:03:15,990 --> 00:03:18,868 for one million dollars... 134 00:03:19,994 --> 00:03:22,955 heads or tails? 135 00:03:22,997 --> 00:03:26,292 Tails! Heads! Tails! 136 00:03:26,334 --> 00:03:28,711 What was the year 137 00:03:26,334 --> 00:03:28,711 of the coin again? 138 00:03:28,753 --> 00:03:30,421 Why the sudden obsession 139 00:03:28,753 --> 00:03:30,421 with Heads or Tails? 140 00:03:30,463 --> 00:03:35,134 Well, it turns out 141 00:03:30,463 --> 00:03:35,134 that Heads or Tails 142 00:03:30,463 --> 00:03:35,134 has a job opening. 143 00:03:35,176 --> 00:03:37,512 Heads! Tails! 144 00:03:35,176 --> 00:03:37,512 Ta... Heads. 145 00:03:37,553 --> 00:03:39,764 Marni, flip that coin. 146 00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:46,145 So now because of that 147 00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:46,145 incident, Heads or Tails 148 00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:46,145 is looking for a new... 149 00:03:46,187 --> 00:03:48,147 "currency rotation 150 00:03:46,187 --> 00:03:48,147 specialist." 151 00:03:48,189 --> 00:03:51,108 - You mean "coin flip bimbo"? 152 00:03:48,189 --> 00:03:51,108 - They're not bimbos. 153 00:03:52,193 --> 00:03:53,944 You auditioned, didn't you? 154 00:03:58,867 --> 00:04:01,952 - And you're Canadian? 155 00:03:58,867 --> 00:04:01,952 - Mm-hmm. 156 00:04:01,994 --> 00:04:05,623 Robin, aside from that coin, 157 00:04:01,994 --> 00:04:05,623 this is the other thing 158 00:04:01,994 --> 00:04:05,623 that's flipping right now. 159 00:04:05,665 --> 00:04:09,502 What is my lid for you? 160 00:04:09,544 --> 00:04:11,337 You're the new 161 00:04:09,544 --> 00:04:11,337 coin flip bimbo? 162 00:04:11,379 --> 00:04:13,047 Currency rotation 163 00:04:11,379 --> 00:04:13,047 specialist. 164 00:04:13,088 --> 00:04:15,675 Robin, 165 00:04:13,088 --> 00:04:15,675 you better check yourself... 166 00:04:15,717 --> 00:04:19,011 before you Trebek yourself. 167 00:04:19,053 --> 00:04:22,557 - You're a journalist. 168 00:04:19,053 --> 00:04:22,557 What is the matter with you? 169 00:04:19,053 --> 00:04:22,557 - It's a national audience. 170 00:04:22,598 --> 00:04:25,017 I get to wear shiny dresses. 171 00:04:25,059 --> 00:04:27,186 Robin, have you forgotten about 172 00:04:25,059 --> 00:04:27,186 your New Year's resolution? 173 00:04:27,228 --> 00:04:31,106 I'm never drinking again. 174 00:04:31,148 --> 00:04:32,483 No, before that. 175 00:04:32,525 --> 00:04:35,986 I am gonna finish 176 00:04:32,525 --> 00:04:35,986 this whole bottle tonight. 177 00:04:36,987 --> 00:04:38,197 Before that too. 178 00:04:38,239 --> 00:04:39,990 I moved here... 179 00:04:40,032 --> 00:04:43,035 to work for a big-time 180 00:04:40,032 --> 00:04:43,035 cable news channel 181 00:04:40,032 --> 00:04:43,035 like World Wide News. 182 00:04:43,077 --> 00:04:45,955 Well, by this time 183 00:04:43,077 --> 00:04:45,955 next year, 184 00:04:45,996 --> 00:04:49,751 I will be wearing 185 00:04:45,996 --> 00:04:49,751 a World Wide News I.D. badge 186 00:04:45,996 --> 00:04:49,751 around my neck. 187 00:04:49,792 --> 00:04:52,044 And to show you 188 00:04:49,792 --> 00:04:52,044 that I'm serious, 189 00:04:52,086 --> 00:04:54,046 this is my first 190 00:04:52,086 --> 00:04:54,046 and only drink of the night. 191 00:04:54,088 --> 00:04:55,965 Okay. 192 00:04:54,088 --> 00:04:55,965 Okay? 193 00:04:58,008 --> 00:05:00,261 Oh, damn, that's smooth. 194 00:05:00,302 --> 00:05:02,764 I thought you finally 195 00:05:00,302 --> 00:05:02,764 got that interview 196 00:05:00,302 --> 00:05:02,764 at World Wide News. 197 00:05:02,805 --> 00:05:04,515 Well, I did. 198 00:05:04,557 --> 00:05:08,394 But they only offered me 199 00:05:04,557 --> 00:05:08,394 a boring, low-paid, 200 00:05:04,557 --> 00:05:08,394 off-camera research job. 201 00:05:08,436 --> 00:05:10,897 Which could be a stepping stone 202 00:05:08,436 --> 00:05:10,897 to bigger things in your career. 203 00:05:10,939 --> 00:05:12,481 So could 204 00:05:10,939 --> 00:05:12,481 Heads or Tails. 205 00:05:12,523 --> 00:05:14,984 The first currency rotation 206 00:05:12,523 --> 00:05:14,984 specialist... 207 00:05:15,025 --> 00:05:18,070 went on to be 208 00:05:15,025 --> 00:05:18,070 a semifinalist 209 00:05:15,025 --> 00:05:18,070 on The Bachelor. 210 00:05:18,112 --> 00:05:21,532 And then she lost, 211 00:05:18,112 --> 00:05:21,532 like, a hundred pounds 212 00:05:18,112 --> 00:05:21,532 on The Biggest Loser. 213 00:05:21,574 --> 00:05:24,159 And now she's totally 214 00:05:21,574 --> 00:05:24,159 winning Celebrity Rehab. 215 00:05:24,201 --> 00:05:27,162 It seemed like there was 216 00:05:24,201 --> 00:05:27,162 no changing Robin's mind. 217 00:05:27,204 --> 00:05:29,248 But what we didn't realize 218 00:05:27,204 --> 00:05:29,248 was that in a few minutes... 219 00:05:29,290 --> 00:05:32,001 our whole world was 220 00:05:29,290 --> 00:05:32,001 going to be turned upside-down. 221 00:05:32,042 --> 00:05:35,087 - I'm pregnant. 222 00:05:32,042 --> 00:05:35,087 - What? 223 00:05:35,129 --> 00:05:37,757 Now, kids, when 224 00:05:35,129 --> 00:05:37,757 your friends have great news, 225 00:05:35,129 --> 00:05:37,757 you're happy for them... 226 00:05:37,799 --> 00:05:39,341 for, like, a millisecond. 227 00:05:39,383 --> 00:05:42,094 And then you start 228 00:05:39,383 --> 00:05:42,094 thinking about yourself. 229 00:05:42,136 --> 00:05:45,097 Oh, my God. They're 230 00:05:42,136 --> 00:05:45,097 really having a baby. 231 00:05:45,139 --> 00:05:47,349 What am I doing 232 00:05:45,139 --> 00:05:47,349 with my life? 233 00:05:47,391 --> 00:05:49,101 Starting Monday, 234 00:05:47,391 --> 00:05:49,101 I'm a currency 235 00:05:47,391 --> 00:05:49,101 rotation sp... 236 00:05:49,143 --> 00:05:51,479 Oh, who am I kidding? 237 00:05:49,143 --> 00:05:51,479 I'm a coin flip bimbo. 238 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:53,689 And I'm still single. 239 00:05:53,731 --> 00:05:56,108 Okay, let's not 240 00:05:53,731 --> 00:05:56,108 go there, Scherbatsky. 241 00:05:53,731 --> 00:05:56,108 That's a whole other thing. 242 00:05:56,150 --> 00:05:58,903 I gotta take 243 00:05:56,150 --> 00:05:58,903 that World Wide News job. 244 00:05:58,945 --> 00:06:01,864 And so the next night, 245 00:05:58,945 --> 00:06:01,864 we had two things to celebrate. 246 00:06:01,906 --> 00:06:07,119 Well, you are looking at 247 00:06:01,906 --> 00:06:07,119 the new associate researcher 248 00:06:01,906 --> 00:06:07,119 at World Wide News. 249 00:06:07,161 --> 00:06:09,121 Oh, my gosh! 250 00:06:07,161 --> 00:06:09,121 That's amazing news. 251 00:06:09,163 --> 00:06:12,000 What changed your mind? 252 00:06:09,163 --> 00:06:12,000 Marshall and Lily. 253 00:06:12,041 --> 00:06:15,920 I just realized that I am 254 00:06:12,041 --> 00:06:15,920 about to have a little niece 255 00:06:12,041 --> 00:06:15,920 who looks up to me, 256 00:06:15,962 --> 00:06:17,922 and I don't wanna be 257 00:06:15,962 --> 00:06:17,922 sad Aunt Robin, 258 00:06:17,964 --> 00:06:20,132 the aging coin flip bimbo 259 00:06:17,964 --> 00:06:20,132 who gives her the creeps. 260 00:06:20,174 --> 00:06:22,468 I wanna be 261 00:06:20,174 --> 00:06:22,468 cool Aunt Robin, 262 00:06:22,510 --> 00:06:24,470 the respected journalist 263 00:06:22,510 --> 00:06:24,470 who gives her beer. 264 00:06:24,512 --> 00:06:26,722 - What? 265 00:06:24,512 --> 00:06:26,722 - What? Oh... 266 00:06:28,182 --> 00:06:31,143 I have never seen you guys 267 00:06:28,182 --> 00:06:31,143 looking so at peace. 268 00:06:31,185 --> 00:06:33,145 - To Lily and Marshall. 269 00:06:33,187 --> 00:06:35,230 To Lily 270 00:06:33,187 --> 00:06:35,230 and Marshall. 271 00:06:33,187 --> 00:06:35,230 Well, thank you. 272 00:06:35,272 --> 00:06:37,859 I mean, 273 00:06:35,272 --> 00:06:37,859 we've never been happier. 274 00:06:37,900 --> 00:06:41,654 The next day, 275 00:06:37,900 --> 00:06:41,654 Robin called Heads or Tails 276 00:06:37,900 --> 00:06:41,654 to respectfully decline. 277 00:06:41,696 --> 00:06:44,365 Hi. Mr. Trebek, um, 278 00:06:41,696 --> 00:06:44,365 this is Robin Scherbatsky. 279 00:06:44,406 --> 00:06:46,325 - But at that moment... 280 00:06:44,406 --> 00:06:46,325 - You're not pregnant. 281 00:06:48,202 --> 00:06:51,121 As honored as I am 282 00:06:48,202 --> 00:06:51,121 by the offer, um... 283 00:06:53,332 --> 00:06:56,460 Oh, my God. 284 00:06:53,332 --> 00:06:56,460 They're not having a baby. 285 00:06:56,502 --> 00:06:58,880 What am I getting 286 00:06:56,502 --> 00:06:58,880 all up in my head about? 287 00:06:58,921 --> 00:07:01,173 That research job 288 00:06:58,921 --> 00:07:01,173 sounds hard. 289 00:07:01,215 --> 00:07:05,135 And I'm pretty. 290 00:07:01,215 --> 00:07:05,135 I'm really, really pretty. 291 00:07:08,514 --> 00:07:11,726 You are looking 292 00:07:08,514 --> 00:07:11,726 at the new coin flip bimbo. 293 00:07:14,228 --> 00:07:15,563 Whoosh! 294 00:07:20,484 --> 00:07:22,570 You took 295 00:07:20,484 --> 00:07:22,570 the Heads or Tails job? 296 00:07:20,484 --> 00:07:22,570 Yeah. 297 00:07:22,611 --> 00:07:25,197 What about World Wide News? 298 00:07:22,611 --> 00:07:25,197 Your I.D. badge? 299 00:07:25,239 --> 00:07:27,241 You made 300 00:07:25,239 --> 00:07:27,241 a New Year's resolution. 301 00:07:27,282 --> 00:07:30,953 Okay, I also said 302 00:07:27,282 --> 00:07:30,953 I would never make out 303 00:07:27,282 --> 00:07:30,953 with a garbageman. 304 00:07:30,995 --> 00:07:33,956 Life is what happens 305 00:07:30,995 --> 00:07:33,956 when you're busy 306 00:07:30,995 --> 00:07:33,956 making other plans. 307 00:07:33,998 --> 00:07:35,541 What's with 308 00:07:33,998 --> 00:07:35,541 the gingerbread house? 309 00:07:35,583 --> 00:07:37,292 We're seeing 310 00:07:35,583 --> 00:07:37,292 a Christmas movie. 311 00:07:37,334 --> 00:07:40,212 It's a Christmas-themed 312 00:07:37,334 --> 00:07:40,212 movie snack. 313 00:07:37,334 --> 00:07:40,212 Mmm. 314 00:07:40,254 --> 00:07:42,339 Let's hope Santa 315 00:07:40,254 --> 00:07:42,339 brings you a girlfriend 316 00:07:40,254 --> 00:07:42,339 this year, Teddy. 317 00:07:44,008 --> 00:07:45,718 Where the hell 318 00:07:44,008 --> 00:07:45,718 is Barney? 319 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:48,178 Where was Barney? 320 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:48,178 Let's back up again. 321 00:07:48,220 --> 00:07:49,722 You see, while 322 00:07:48,220 --> 00:07:49,722 this was going on... 323 00:07:49,764 --> 00:07:51,265 It's positive. 324 00:07:49,764 --> 00:07:51,265 It's positive? 325 00:07:51,306 --> 00:07:52,641 this was happening. 326 00:07:52,683 --> 00:07:55,185 And now she's totally 327 00:07:52,683 --> 00:07:55,185 winning Celebrity Rehab. 328 00:07:56,270 --> 00:07:57,980 Hey, guys. 329 00:07:58,022 --> 00:08:00,274 A yuletide riddle. 330 00:08:00,315 --> 00:08:04,236 What is my second-favorite word 331 00:08:00,315 --> 00:08:04,236 that begins with B-O-N? 332 00:08:04,278 --> 00:08:06,238 Bon Jovi? 333 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:09,491 What is my third-favorite word 334 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:09,491 that begins with B-O-N? 335 00:08:09,533 --> 00:08:11,326 "Bonus." 336 00:08:11,368 --> 00:08:15,664 As in 337 00:08:11,368 --> 00:08:15,664 my end-of-the-year 338 00:08:11,368 --> 00:08:15,664 bonus check. 339 00:08:15,706 --> 00:08:17,166 My God! 340 00:08:17,207 --> 00:08:19,251 Barney, I work for GNB too. 341 00:08:19,293 --> 00:08:22,088 All I got was a $15 gift card 342 00:08:19,293 --> 00:08:22,088 to Costa Coffee. 343 00:08:22,130 --> 00:08:24,173 And you earned it, buddy. 344 00:08:24,214 --> 00:08:25,925 Check out 345 00:08:24,214 --> 00:08:25,925 what I'm gonna 346 00:08:24,214 --> 00:08:25,925 buy for myself. 347 00:08:27,342 --> 00:08:29,511 The Dibiase. 348 00:08:29,553 --> 00:08:32,264 See those pinstripes... 349 00:08:29,553 --> 00:08:32,264 diamonds. 350 00:08:32,306 --> 00:08:35,559 It is the uppest 351 00:08:32,306 --> 00:08:35,559 a person could ever suit. 352 00:08:35,601 --> 00:08:38,604 Uh, has it ever 353 00:08:35,601 --> 00:08:38,604 occurred to you to give 354 00:08:35,601 --> 00:08:38,604 some of this to charity? 355 00:08:38,646 --> 00:08:40,522 Charity? 356 00:08:40,564 --> 00:08:43,400 You're seriously talking 357 00:08:40,564 --> 00:08:43,400 to me about charity, dude? 358 00:08:40,564 --> 00:08:43,400 I am Mr. Charity. 359 00:08:43,442 --> 00:08:47,071 I frequently sleep 360 00:08:43,442 --> 00:08:47,071 with sixes, 361 00:08:48,114 --> 00:08:51,283 chubsters, over-30s. 362 00:08:51,325 --> 00:08:54,203 I am the Bill and Melinda Gates 363 00:08:51,325 --> 00:08:54,203 of the sympathy bang. 364 00:08:56,205 --> 00:08:57,873 Hey, guys. 365 00:08:56,205 --> 00:08:57,873 Hey. 366 00:08:57,915 --> 00:09:01,293 - Big announcement. 367 00:08:57,915 --> 00:09:01,293 - Let me guess. You got 368 00:08:57,915 --> 00:09:01,293 a huge bonus check too. 369 00:09:01,335 --> 00:09:03,295 No, just a $30 gift card 370 00:09:01,335 --> 00:09:03,295 to Costa Coffee. 371 00:09:03,337 --> 00:09:05,422 - Thirty? 372 00:09:03,337 --> 00:09:05,422 - I'm pregnant. 373 00:09:05,464 --> 00:09:07,299 - What? 374 00:09:07,341 --> 00:09:10,052 I've never seen 375 00:09:07,341 --> 00:09:10,052 that woman before 376 00:09:07,341 --> 00:09:10,052 in my life. 377 00:09:10,094 --> 00:09:11,553 Sorry. Force of habit. 378 00:09:10,094 --> 00:09:11,553 Congratulations! 379 00:09:12,721 --> 00:09:14,473 Huh. 380 00:09:14,515 --> 00:09:16,308 Marshall and Lily 381 00:09:14,515 --> 00:09:16,308 are doing something 382 00:09:14,515 --> 00:09:16,308 meaningful, 383 00:09:16,350 --> 00:09:19,436 and it's making me less 384 00:09:16,350 --> 00:09:19,436 happy about this bonus. 385 00:09:19,478 --> 00:09:22,481 And I'm still single. 386 00:09:19,478 --> 00:09:22,481 At least I got that 387 00:09:19,478 --> 00:09:22,481 goin' for me. 388 00:09:22,523 --> 00:09:26,027 So why do I still feel 389 00:09:22,523 --> 00:09:26,027 outside of awesome 390 00:09:22,523 --> 00:09:26,027 looking in? 391 00:09:26,068 --> 00:09:28,737 What am I doing 392 00:09:26,068 --> 00:09:28,737 with my life? 393 00:09:28,779 --> 00:09:31,073 We've never been happier. 394 00:09:28,779 --> 00:09:31,073 Mmm. 395 00:09:31,115 --> 00:09:33,659 Can't imagine anything 396 00:09:31,115 --> 00:09:33,659 bringing me down right now. 397 00:09:33,701 --> 00:09:36,411 Oh, Marshall, you only 398 00:09:33,701 --> 00:09:36,411 think you're happy. 399 00:09:33,701 --> 00:09:36,411 Just wait. 400 00:09:36,453 --> 00:09:38,873 Because tonight... 401 00:09:38,914 --> 00:09:41,167 is Barney's 402 00:09:38,914 --> 00:09:41,167 favorite things! 403 00:09:49,341 --> 00:09:51,343 That was the reaction 404 00:09:49,341 --> 00:09:51,343 Barney expected. 405 00:09:51,385 --> 00:09:53,428 things! 406 00:09:51,385 --> 00:09:53,428 This is the one he got. 407 00:09:53,470 --> 00:09:55,430 - Huh? 408 00:09:53,470 --> 00:09:55,430 - I don't know what that is. 409 00:09:55,472 --> 00:09:58,059 Barney's favorite things. 410 00:09:58,100 --> 00:10:00,352 I'm gonna give y'all 411 00:09:58,100 --> 00:10:00,352 a bunch of free stuff. 412 00:10:00,394 --> 00:10:02,354 - Like Oprah. 413 00:10:00,394 --> 00:10:02,354 Oh. 414 00:10:02,396 --> 00:10:03,689 Just get excited, okay? 415 00:10:03,731 --> 00:10:06,150 Sure. 416 00:10:03,731 --> 00:10:06,150 The next hour got pretty weird. 417 00:10:06,192 --> 00:10:09,028 Velour tracksuits! 418 00:10:09,070 --> 00:10:11,030 Velour 419 00:10:09,070 --> 00:10:11,030 is so comfortable. 420 00:10:09,070 --> 00:10:11,030 These are so soft! 421 00:10:11,072 --> 00:10:14,533 Remote control helicopters! 422 00:10:16,202 --> 00:10:18,954 Condoms! 423 00:10:20,956 --> 00:10:23,500 And last but not least, 424 00:10:23,542 --> 00:10:25,377 there is a fleet 425 00:10:23,542 --> 00:10:25,377 of limos outside... 426 00:10:25,419 --> 00:10:27,838 waiting to take us to... 427 00:10:28,630 --> 00:10:32,760 a strip club! 428 00:10:33,761 --> 00:10:35,387 You get a lap dance! 429 00:10:35,429 --> 00:10:36,680 You get 430 00:10:35,429 --> 00:10:36,680 a lap dance! 431 00:10:36,722 --> 00:10:38,599 You are gonna give me 432 00:10:36,722 --> 00:10:38,599 a lap dance! 433 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:42,644 Everybody 434 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:42,644 gets a lap dance! 435 00:10:44,188 --> 00:10:47,482 Amazing! It was like 436 00:10:44,188 --> 00:10:47,482 a diamond suit for my soul. 437 00:10:47,524 --> 00:10:49,484 I gotta keep going. 438 00:10:47,524 --> 00:10:49,484 I gotta do more. 439 00:10:49,526 --> 00:10:52,404 No. No. I cannot go 440 00:10:49,526 --> 00:10:52,404 back to that strip club. 441 00:10:52,446 --> 00:10:54,323 I've seen some things. 442 00:10:54,364 --> 00:10:56,325 I'm not going back either. 443 00:10:56,366 --> 00:11:00,662 I'm takin' the rest of my bonus 444 00:10:56,366 --> 00:11:00,662 to God's strip club. 445 00:11:00,704 --> 00:11:03,874 The next day, he paid a visit to 446 00:11:00,704 --> 00:11:03,874 the most charitable man he knew, 447 00:11:03,916 --> 00:11:07,419 his half-brother's father... 448 00:11:03,916 --> 00:11:07,419 Sam Gibbs, a minister 449 00:11:03,916 --> 00:11:07,419 at a church out on Long Island. 450 00:11:07,461 --> 00:11:10,298 Sam... Uh, Father. 451 00:11:10,339 --> 00:11:12,300 I-I don't mean 452 00:11:10,339 --> 00:11:12,300 Father Father. 453 00:11:12,341 --> 00:11:14,260 Unless... 454 00:11:12,341 --> 00:11:14,260 What's up, Barney? 455 00:11:14,302 --> 00:11:17,888 I'm thinking about giving 456 00:11:14,302 --> 00:11:17,888 some money to charity. 457 00:11:17,930 --> 00:11:20,308 Is that the name of the stripper 458 00:11:17,930 --> 00:11:20,308 you been e-mailing me about? 459 00:11:20,349 --> 00:11:23,393 You gotta take me 460 00:11:20,349 --> 00:11:23,393 off that list, Barney. 461 00:11:23,435 --> 00:11:25,437 No, I don't mean 462 00:11:23,435 --> 00:11:25,437 that Charity. 463 00:11:25,479 --> 00:11:27,815 That Charity 464 00:11:25,479 --> 00:11:27,815 is doin' Peachy. 465 00:11:27,856 --> 00:11:30,985 You'll see pics 466 00:11:27,856 --> 00:11:30,985 of the two of 'em in 467 00:11:27,856 --> 00:11:30,985 next week's e-mail. What up! 468 00:11:31,026 --> 00:11:32,611 Barney, I'm a minister. 469 00:11:32,653 --> 00:11:34,822 Unsubscribe. 470 00:11:34,863 --> 00:11:37,449 I... I recently 471 00:11:34,863 --> 00:11:37,449 started giving, 472 00:11:37,491 --> 00:11:39,118 and it felt 473 00:11:37,491 --> 00:11:39,118 surprisingly good. 474 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:41,703 I wanna do more. 475 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:41,703 Well, now you're talking. 476 00:11:41,745 --> 00:11:45,457 We have this program 477 00:11:41,745 --> 00:11:45,457 that helps those in need 478 00:11:41,745 --> 00:11:45,457 get back on their feet. 479 00:11:45,499 --> 00:11:49,795 We give them food, 480 00:11:45,499 --> 00:11:49,795 a place to live, 481 00:11:45,499 --> 00:11:49,795 clothes for job interviews. 482 00:11:49,837 --> 00:11:53,632 Well, I would love to help 483 00:11:49,837 --> 00:11:53,632 by writing a check... 484 00:11:53,674 --> 00:11:59,471 for one-zero-zero-zero... 485 00:11:59,513 --> 00:12:01,473 - You're not pregnant. 486 00:12:01,515 --> 00:12:03,475 zero... 487 00:12:03,517 --> 00:12:05,853 Whoops. 488 00:12:03,517 --> 00:12:05,853 Hold on a second. 489 00:12:08,314 --> 00:12:10,107 Wait! 490 00:12:10,149 --> 00:12:11,775 They're not doing 491 00:12:10,149 --> 00:12:11,775 something meaningful 492 00:12:10,149 --> 00:12:11,775 with their lives. 493 00:12:11,817 --> 00:12:13,902 Well, this 494 00:12:11,817 --> 00:12:13,902 changes everything. 495 00:12:13,944 --> 00:12:16,780 Oh, no. I've already 496 00:12:13,944 --> 00:12:16,780 written four zeros. 497 00:12:16,822 --> 00:12:19,908 Thank you, decimal point. 498 00:12:20,909 --> 00:12:24,246 $100.00. 499 00:12:25,539 --> 00:12:27,249 That's great. 500 00:12:27,291 --> 00:12:28,625 Thank you, Barney. 501 00:12:32,546 --> 00:12:35,465 Diamond suited up. 502 00:12:36,633 --> 00:12:38,593 Hey, Ted, can you spot me 503 00:12:36,633 --> 00:12:38,593 for the movie? 504 00:12:38,635 --> 00:12:41,471 I don't like to carry 505 00:12:38,635 --> 00:12:41,471 a lot of cash on me. 506 00:12:45,684 --> 00:12:47,686 What happened 507 00:12:45,684 --> 00:12:47,686 to giving the money away? 508 00:12:47,728 --> 00:12:50,689 That was back 509 00:12:47,728 --> 00:12:50,689 when Lily was pregnant. 510 00:12:47,728 --> 00:12:50,689 Now she's not. 511 00:12:50,731 --> 00:12:53,567 Ergo, a suit is born. 512 00:12:53,608 --> 00:12:56,528 Dude, what's up 513 00:12:53,608 --> 00:12:56,528 with the gingerbread house? 514 00:12:53,608 --> 00:12:56,528 You look ridiculous. 515 00:12:56,570 --> 00:12:58,530 It's a Christmas-themed 516 00:12:56,570 --> 00:12:58,530 movie snack. 517 00:12:58,572 --> 00:13:01,409 Oh, I know that move. 518 00:13:01,450 --> 00:13:04,870 You cut a hole in the floor, 519 00:13:01,450 --> 00:13:04,870 she reaches into the 520 00:13:01,450 --> 00:13:04,870 living room, finds the tree. 521 00:13:07,289 --> 00:13:08,707 Nice. 522 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:11,793 Where the hell 523 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:11,793 are Marshall and Lily? 524 00:13:11,835 --> 00:13:13,795 Let's back up one last time. 525 00:13:13,837 --> 00:13:16,506 - I'm pregnant. 526 00:13:13,837 --> 00:13:16,506 - What? 527 00:13:16,548 --> 00:13:18,426 I've never seen 528 00:13:16,548 --> 00:13:18,426 that woman before 529 00:13:16,548 --> 00:13:18,426 in my life. 530 00:13:18,467 --> 00:13:21,470 Sorry. Force of habit. 531 00:13:18,467 --> 00:13:21,470 Congratulations! 532 00:13:21,511 --> 00:13:24,098 This is great. 533 00:13:21,511 --> 00:13:24,098 I'm happy. 534 00:13:24,139 --> 00:13:26,308 I'm so happy 535 00:13:24,139 --> 00:13:26,308 my heart's pounding. 536 00:13:26,350 --> 00:13:29,103 And I'm sweating. 537 00:13:26,350 --> 00:13:29,103 And I can't breathe. 538 00:13:29,144 --> 00:13:31,480 This is what happiness 539 00:13:29,144 --> 00:13:31,480 feels like, right? 540 00:13:31,521 --> 00:13:34,691 Oh, crap. Lily's having a baby, 541 00:13:31,521 --> 00:13:34,691 and I'm having a panic attack. 542 00:13:34,733 --> 00:13:37,652 - I hope she can't tell 543 00:13:34,733 --> 00:13:37,652 what I'm thinking right now. 544 00:13:34,733 --> 00:13:37,652 - I can. 545 00:13:37,694 --> 00:13:39,988 And I'm freaking out too! 546 00:13:40,030 --> 00:13:43,200 There's an alien growing 547 00:13:40,030 --> 00:13:43,200 in my stomach that's gonna 548 00:13:40,030 --> 00:13:43,200 explode out of my vagina! 549 00:13:43,242 --> 00:13:46,787 - Do you think the others 550 00:13:43,242 --> 00:13:46,787 can tell we're freakin' out? 551 00:13:43,242 --> 00:13:46,787 - What am I doing with my life? 552 00:13:46,828 --> 00:13:48,497 What am I doing 553 00:13:46,828 --> 00:13:48,497 with my life? 554 00:13:48,538 --> 00:13:51,583 I should get 555 00:13:48,538 --> 00:13:51,583 a Christmas-themed movie snack 556 00:13:48,538 --> 00:13:51,583 for tomorrow night. 557 00:13:51,625 --> 00:13:53,794 They're totally on to us. 558 00:13:51,625 --> 00:13:53,794 What do we do? 559 00:13:53,835 --> 00:13:55,421 Just keep smiling. 560 00:13:53,835 --> 00:13:55,421 Maybe wave. 561 00:13:55,463 --> 00:13:57,589 No, don't wave! 562 00:13:55,463 --> 00:13:57,589 That makes no sense! 563 00:13:57,631 --> 00:14:00,217 I'm committed. 564 00:13:57,631 --> 00:14:00,217 I'm riding this wave 565 00:13:57,631 --> 00:14:00,217 straight to hell. 566 00:14:00,259 --> 00:14:02,428 Let's leave. 567 00:14:00,259 --> 00:14:02,428 Then the waving will make sense. 568 00:14:02,470 --> 00:14:05,473 See you guys tomorrow. 569 00:14:02,470 --> 00:14:05,473 So Lily 570 00:14:02,470 --> 00:14:05,473 and Marshall headed home. 571 00:14:05,514 --> 00:14:08,600 Lily, we have to relax. 572 00:14:05,514 --> 00:14:08,600 There's no need to panic. 573 00:14:08,642 --> 00:14:10,978 True, there's a lot to do, 574 00:14:08,642 --> 00:14:10,978 but we've got nine months 575 00:14:08,642 --> 00:14:10,978 to prepare. 576 00:14:11,019 --> 00:14:14,773 So I say we make a list 577 00:14:11,019 --> 00:14:14,773 of everything that needs to get 578 00:14:11,019 --> 00:14:14,773 done before the baby arrives... 579 00:14:14,815 --> 00:14:16,650 and do everything 580 00:14:14,815 --> 00:14:16,650 on that list tonight! 581 00:14:16,691 --> 00:14:18,610 Let's do it! 582 00:14:18,652 --> 00:14:20,154 Uh-huh. Got it. 583 00:14:20,195 --> 00:14:21,489 Okay. That seems easy. 584 00:14:22,281 --> 00:14:23,573 Nursery's painted. 585 00:14:23,615 --> 00:14:26,034 - Blue? What if it's a girl? 586 00:14:23,615 --> 00:14:26,034 - Damn it! 587 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:42,843 Oh, God, it's 8:00. 588 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:42,843 We're supposed to meet the gang 589 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:42,843 at the bar to celebrate. 590 00:14:42,884 --> 00:14:46,138 Oh, God. Okay, listen. 591 00:14:42,884 --> 00:14:46,138 When we meet them, 592 00:14:42,884 --> 00:14:46,138 we have to keep it together. 593 00:14:46,180 --> 00:14:48,723 Can you keep it together? 594 00:14:46,180 --> 00:14:48,723 No, I can't 595 00:14:46,180 --> 00:14:48,723 keep it together! 596 00:14:48,765 --> 00:14:51,852 I have never seen you guys 597 00:14:48,765 --> 00:14:51,852 looking so at peace. 598 00:14:51,893 --> 00:14:53,812 - To Lily and Marshall. 599 00:14:53,854 --> 00:14:56,440 To Lily 600 00:14:53,854 --> 00:14:56,440 and Marshall. 601 00:14:53,854 --> 00:14:56,440 Well, thank you. 602 00:14:56,482 --> 00:14:59,360 I mean, 603 00:14:56,482 --> 00:14:59,360 we've never been happier. 604 00:14:59,401 --> 00:15:02,654 This is a nightmare! 605 00:14:59,401 --> 00:15:02,654 We've done everything wrong! 606 00:15:02,696 --> 00:15:06,367 The iPod was on shuffle! 607 00:15:06,408 --> 00:15:08,410 The Jerky Boys. 608 00:15:08,452 --> 00:15:10,662 Our baby 609 00:15:08,452 --> 00:15:10,662 heard The Jerky Boys! 610 00:15:10,704 --> 00:15:14,749 - The Jerky Boys are funny. 611 00:15:10,704 --> 00:15:14,749 - The Jerky Boys aren't funny! 612 00:15:10,704 --> 00:15:14,749 They are awful! 613 00:15:14,791 --> 00:15:16,710 Fine. If you don't think 614 00:15:14,791 --> 00:15:16,710 The Jerky Boys are funny, 615 00:15:16,751 --> 00:15:19,380 then I'm not sure 616 00:15:16,751 --> 00:15:19,380 that I can raise a child 617 00:15:16,751 --> 00:15:19,380 with you, liver lips! 618 00:15:21,382 --> 00:15:23,675 - Marshall, I don't like this. 619 00:15:21,382 --> 00:15:23,675 - I know. 620 00:15:23,717 --> 00:15:25,677 Okay? 621 00:15:23,717 --> 00:15:25,677 I don't like it either. 622 00:15:25,719 --> 00:15:30,807 It's like I have a hot, 623 00:15:25,719 --> 00:15:30,807 burning ball of stress 624 00:15:25,719 --> 00:15:30,807 in my chest... 625 00:15:30,849 --> 00:15:33,018 and nothing 626 00:15:30,849 --> 00:15:33,018 will make it go away! 627 00:15:33,060 --> 00:15:36,146 - You're not pregnant. 628 00:15:33,060 --> 00:15:36,146 - Well, that did it. 629 00:15:36,188 --> 00:15:38,690 I know this probably comes 630 00:15:36,188 --> 00:15:38,690 as quite a disappointment. 631 00:15:40,650 --> 00:15:42,277 Yeah. 632 00:15:42,319 --> 00:15:43,862 Huge bummer. 633 00:15:43,904 --> 00:15:45,655 So disappointing. 634 00:15:47,741 --> 00:15:50,702 - Hey. You guys okay? 635 00:15:50,744 --> 00:15:52,162 Yeah. 636 00:15:50,744 --> 00:15:52,162 Why wouldn't we be? 637 00:15:53,288 --> 00:15:54,623 Oh, the baby thing. 638 00:15:54,664 --> 00:15:55,790 Oh, yeah. 639 00:15:54,664 --> 00:15:55,790 Whatever. 640 00:15:55,832 --> 00:15:57,709 Oh, Christmas-themed 641 00:15:55,832 --> 00:15:57,709 movie snack. Nice. 642 00:15:57,751 --> 00:16:00,504 Don't reach into 643 00:15:57,751 --> 00:16:00,504 the living room. 644 00:16:02,964 --> 00:16:05,133 Wow. I thought you guys 645 00:16:02,964 --> 00:16:05,133 would be devastated. 646 00:16:05,175 --> 00:16:08,554 Oh. You know, 647 00:16:05,175 --> 00:16:08,554 we're actually 648 00:16:05,175 --> 00:16:08,554 kind of relieved. 649 00:16:08,596 --> 00:16:10,972 We were freakin' out 650 00:16:08,596 --> 00:16:10,972 for about a day 651 00:16:08,596 --> 00:16:10,972 and a half there. 652 00:16:11,014 --> 00:16:13,808 Yeah. This whole thing 653 00:16:11,014 --> 00:16:13,808 got us thinking, 654 00:16:13,850 --> 00:16:15,810 maybe we're not 655 00:16:13,850 --> 00:16:15,810 ready for kids yet 656 00:16:13,850 --> 00:16:15,810 after all. 657 00:16:15,852 --> 00:16:18,730 - We were thinking 658 00:16:15,852 --> 00:16:18,730 maybe we'd just get a dog. 659 00:16:15,852 --> 00:16:18,730 - Get a puppy! 660 00:16:18,772 --> 00:16:21,858 Can you imagine? 661 00:16:18,772 --> 00:16:21,858 You could put it in 662 00:16:18,772 --> 00:16:21,858 little human shirts... 663 00:16:21,900 --> 00:16:23,611 Whoa! 664 00:16:24,778 --> 00:16:27,739 - Our movie snack. 665 00:16:24,778 --> 00:16:27,739 - Are you kidding me? 666 00:16:27,781 --> 00:16:30,158 All you ever talk about 667 00:16:27,781 --> 00:16:30,158 is having kids! 668 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:33,245 And now you have 669 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:33,245 one little freak-out 670 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:33,245 and you wanna get a dog instead? 671 00:16:33,287 --> 00:16:34,955 No. Unacceptable. 672 00:16:34,996 --> 00:16:37,999 You're gonna turn around, 673 00:16:34,996 --> 00:16:37,999 you're gonna go home, get naked, 674 00:16:38,041 --> 00:16:40,919 lie together as man and wife 675 00:16:38,041 --> 00:16:40,919 until Lily is great with child. 676 00:16:40,961 --> 00:16:42,588 Right now! 677 00:16:42,630 --> 00:16:44,756 I'm serious! 678 00:16:42,630 --> 00:16:44,756 Go! Go! Go! 679 00:16:46,841 --> 00:16:48,843 Marshall and Lily 680 00:16:46,841 --> 00:16:48,843 got in trouble. 681 00:16:48,885 --> 00:16:50,804 - And you! 682 00:16:48,885 --> 00:16:50,804 - Ooh. 683 00:16:50,845 --> 00:16:53,682 - Barney, you look real stupid 684 00:16:50,845 --> 00:16:53,682 in that suit. 685 00:16:53,723 --> 00:16:55,934 You're gonna 686 00:16:53,723 --> 00:16:55,934 go get your money back 687 00:16:53,723 --> 00:16:55,934 and give it to charity. 688 00:16:55,976 --> 00:16:57,894 And I don't mean that stripper 689 00:16:55,976 --> 00:16:57,894 you keep e-mailing us about, 690 00:16:57,936 --> 00:16:59,896 even though we beg you 691 00:16:57,936 --> 00:16:59,896 to take us off that list. 692 00:16:59,938 --> 00:17:02,816 I can't give this suit back. 693 00:17:02,857 --> 00:17:05,986 Ted, I glow in the dark. 694 00:17:02,857 --> 00:17:05,986 I finally glow in the dark. 695 00:17:06,027 --> 00:17:09,197 Criminals of New York, 696 00:17:06,027 --> 00:17:09,197 attention! 697 00:17:09,239 --> 00:17:11,783 This man is wearing 698 00:17:09,239 --> 00:17:11,783 a diamond-covered suit! 699 00:17:11,825 --> 00:17:13,785 You can retire 700 00:17:11,825 --> 00:17:13,785 on the pants alone! 701 00:17:13,827 --> 00:17:15,912 Merry Christmas! 702 00:17:20,584 --> 00:17:22,670 So, if I get a large popcorn, 703 00:17:20,584 --> 00:17:22,670 you wanna go splitskies, or... 704 00:17:22,711 --> 00:17:24,754 And you. 705 00:17:24,796 --> 00:17:27,257 You did not move to 706 00:17:24,796 --> 00:17:27,257 the greatest city 707 00:17:24,796 --> 00:17:27,257 on earth... 708 00:17:27,299 --> 00:17:28,842 to become 709 00:17:27,299 --> 00:17:28,842 a coin-flipping bimbo. 710 00:17:28,883 --> 00:17:30,802 So here's 711 00:17:28,883 --> 00:17:30,802 how it's gonna work. 712 00:17:30,844 --> 00:17:32,971 Heads, you take the job 713 00:17:30,844 --> 00:17:32,971 at World Wide News. 714 00:17:33,013 --> 00:17:35,223 Tails, you take the job 715 00:17:33,013 --> 00:17:35,223 at World Wide News. 716 00:17:35,265 --> 00:17:36,808 Ow! 717 00:17:36,850 --> 00:17:38,810 Hey, looks like somebody 718 00:17:36,850 --> 00:17:38,810 got a new gig! 719 00:17:38,852 --> 00:17:40,770 Fine. 720 00:17:38,852 --> 00:17:40,770 I'll call 'em tomorrow. 721 00:17:41,647 --> 00:17:43,649 I'll call 'em right now! 722 00:17:43,691 --> 00:17:45,442 God. 723 00:17:45,484 --> 00:17:47,235 Hello. 724 00:17:47,277 --> 00:17:49,321 - Ted, I can't get married! 725 00:17:47,277 --> 00:17:49,321 - Yes, you can! You love her! 726 00:17:49,363 --> 00:17:51,865 You're right. I do. 727 00:17:49,363 --> 00:17:51,865 Thanks, Ted! 728 00:17:59,414 --> 00:18:01,750 One for 729 00:17:59,414 --> 00:18:01,750 It's a Wonderful Life, 730 00:17:59,414 --> 00:18:01,750 please. 731 00:18:04,169 --> 00:18:05,629 Thank you. 732 00:18:18,058 --> 00:18:20,561 We're idiots. 733 00:18:18,058 --> 00:18:20,561 This kid 734 00:18:18,058 --> 00:18:20,561 doesn't stand a chance. 735 00:18:22,937 --> 00:18:25,815 We're ready for this. 736 00:18:22,937 --> 00:18:25,815 We're ready for this. 737 00:18:28,902 --> 00:18:30,404 Wow! 738 00:18:30,445 --> 00:18:32,573 That's a lot of zeros. 739 00:18:32,614 --> 00:18:35,909 You're sure you're not 740 00:18:32,614 --> 00:18:35,909 missing a decimal point? 741 00:18:32,614 --> 00:18:35,909 Nope. 742 00:18:35,950 --> 00:18:39,705 And that's the tour. 743 00:18:35,950 --> 00:18:39,705 Uh, staff meeting's at noon. 744 00:18:35,950 --> 00:18:39,705 You'll meet everyone there. 745 00:18:39,747 --> 00:18:42,874 But first you need 746 00:18:39,747 --> 00:18:42,874 to head down to Security. 747 00:18:42,916 --> 00:18:45,293 You need to get your picture 748 00:18:42,916 --> 00:18:45,293 taken for your I.D. badge. 749 00:18:50,382 --> 00:18:51,759 You sure? 750 00:18:52,217 --> 00:18:53,761 Positive. 751 00:18:57,347 --> 00:18:59,307 There's more. Do you 752 00:18:57,347 --> 00:18:59,307 still do that thing... 753 00:18:59,349 --> 00:19:01,184 where you give people in need 754 00:18:59,349 --> 00:19:01,184 clothes for job interviews? 755 00:19:01,226 --> 00:19:03,645 Yeah. Why? 756 00:19:01,226 --> 00:19:03,645 Bring 'em in, boys. 757 00:19:13,405 --> 00:19:15,323 Merry Christmas. 758 00:19:15,365 --> 00:19:16,950 Thank you, son. 759 00:19:16,991 --> 00:19:19,578 Son? 760 00:19:16,991 --> 00:19:19,578 It's just an expression. 761 00:19:16,991 --> 00:19:19,578 I'm still not your dad. 762 00:19:29,421 --> 00:19:30,922 Congratulations. 763 00:19:30,964 --> 00:19:33,925 You know, that was really cool 764 00:19:30,964 --> 00:19:33,925 what you did. 765 00:19:33,967 --> 00:19:37,345 When we all needed it, 766 00:19:33,967 --> 00:19:37,345 you got us back 767 00:19:33,967 --> 00:19:37,345 on the right path. 768 00:19:37,387 --> 00:19:39,306 It's what I do. 769 00:19:39,347 --> 00:19:43,101 Ted, if I, um... if I ever 770 00:19:39,347 --> 00:19:43,101 get married... and you're not 771 00:19:39,347 --> 00:19:43,101 the guy I'm marrying... 772 00:19:43,143 --> 00:19:44,894 Big mistake. 773 00:19:43,143 --> 00:19:44,894 But go on. 774 00:19:44,936 --> 00:19:47,272 I could really 775 00:19:44,936 --> 00:19:47,272 use someone like you. 776 00:19:47,314 --> 00:19:50,150 You know, in case I freak out... 777 00:19:47,314 --> 00:19:50,150 when I freak out. 778 00:19:50,191 --> 00:19:51,610 You interested? 779 00:19:51,652 --> 00:19:54,696 Are you asking 780 00:19:51,652 --> 00:19:54,696 what I think you're asking? 781 00:19:54,738 --> 00:19:57,866 Ted, will you be 782 00:19:54,738 --> 00:19:57,866 my best man? 783 00:19:59,367 --> 00:20:01,911 Scherbatsky, 784 00:19:59,367 --> 00:20:01,911 I'm gonna crush it. 785 00:20:04,414 --> 00:20:06,374 Let me look at this. 786 00:20:04,414 --> 00:20:06,374 Can we not? 787 00:20:06,416 --> 00:20:08,836 How do you even make... 788 00:20:06,416 --> 00:20:08,836 I've never seen 789 00:20:06,416 --> 00:20:08,836 you make that face. 790 00:20:12,172 --> 00:20:14,549 Hi there. 791 00:20:12,172 --> 00:20:14,549 We've had a lot 792 00:20:12,172 --> 00:20:14,549 of fun tonight. 793 00:20:14,591 --> 00:20:16,510 But on a more serious note, 794 00:20:16,551 --> 00:20:19,513 this is the time of year 795 00:20:16,551 --> 00:20:19,513 when we remember 796 00:20:16,551 --> 00:20:19,513 the importance of giving. 797 00:20:19,554 --> 00:20:23,308 And there's no greater gift 798 00:20:19,554 --> 00:20:23,308 than the gift of booty. 799 00:20:23,350 --> 00:20:25,894 So this holiday season, 800 00:20:25,935 --> 00:20:28,396 why not 801 00:20:25,935 --> 00:20:28,396 bang someone in need? 802 00:20:28,438 --> 00:20:32,317 I'm Barney Stinson, and that's... 803 00:20:28,438 --> 00:20:32,317 one to grow on. 804 00:20:32,359 --> 00:20:34,402 Um, no. 805 00:20:36,363 --> 00:20:39,533 Hi there. 806 00:20:36,363 --> 00:20:39,533 You know, we've had 807 00:20:36,363 --> 00:20:39,533 a lot of fun tonight. 808 00:21:05,726 --> 00:21:06,727 English - US - Line 21