1 00:00:13,323 --> 00:00:15,575 Kids, when 2 00:00:13,323 --> 00:00:15,575 your best friend loses someone... 3 00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:16,993 My dad's dead? 4 00:00:18,703 --> 00:00:20,330 You drop everything 5 00:00:18,703 --> 00:00:20,330 and rush to his side... 6 00:00:20,372 --> 00:00:21,998 only to find yourself... 7 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:25,043 standing there with no idea 8 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:25,043 what to do or say. 9 00:00:25,084 --> 00:00:27,045 This is the toughest time 10 00:00:25,084 --> 00:00:27,045 in Marshall's life, 11 00:00:27,086 --> 00:00:29,047 and I feel absolutely useless. 12 00:00:29,088 --> 00:00:30,840 I mean, what can we do to help? 13 00:00:30,882 --> 00:00:32,675 Well, don't look at me. 14 00:00:30,882 --> 00:00:32,675 This morning, 15 00:00:32,717 --> 00:00:34,344 Marshall said, 16 00:00:32,717 --> 00:00:34,344 "I have to pee." 17 00:00:34,386 --> 00:00:36,429 And I said, "don't worry, baby. 18 00:00:34,386 --> 00:00:36,429 I'll do it for you." 19 00:00:36,471 --> 00:00:39,265 Halfway through the pee, 20 00:00:36,471 --> 00:00:39,265 I'm, like, "This doesn't 21 00:00:36,471 --> 00:00:39,265 even make sense." 22 00:00:39,307 --> 00:00:42,143 I've been to a couple funerals, 23 00:00:39,307 --> 00:00:42,143 so I know my role. 24 00:00:42,185 --> 00:00:43,686 I'm vice girl. 25 00:00:43,728 --> 00:00:45,688 Whatever Marshall needs 26 00:00:43,728 --> 00:00:45,688 to get through this day, 27 00:00:45,730 --> 00:00:46,981 I got it right here. 28 00:00:48,107 --> 00:00:50,360 Whoa. 29 00:00:48,107 --> 00:00:50,360 Whoa. 30 00:00:50,402 --> 00:00:51,694 Cigarettes, alcohol. 31 00:00:51,736 --> 00:00:53,530 Are these firecrackers? 32 00:00:53,572 --> 00:00:55,198 My God, Robin, 33 00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:57,450 you've somehow crammed 34 00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:57,450 Tijuana into a purse. 35 00:00:58,493 --> 00:01:00,495 Be cool, nerds. 36 00:01:02,872 --> 00:01:04,707 Marshall's mom hasn't eaten, 37 00:01:04,749 --> 00:01:07,710 slept or sat down 38 00:01:04,749 --> 00:01:07,710 since we got here. 39 00:01:07,752 --> 00:01:10,004 Wait. That could be my role. 40 00:01:10,046 --> 00:01:12,006 I'll take care of Judy. 41 00:01:12,048 --> 00:01:15,093 Yeah, but doesn't Marshall's mom 42 00:01:12,048 --> 00:01:15,093 hate y... the fact that you two 43 00:01:12,048 --> 00:01:15,093 aren't very close? 44 00:01:15,134 --> 00:01:17,011 Sweet save. 45 00:01:17,053 --> 00:01:19,680 Okay, yes. 46 00:01:17,053 --> 00:01:19,680 Judy and I aren't besties, 47 00:01:19,722 --> 00:01:21,724 but today, whatever she needs, 48 00:01:19,722 --> 00:01:21,724 I'm there. 49 00:01:21,766 --> 00:01:23,017 I'm on Judy duty. 50 00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:24,727 "Judy duty." 51 00:01:24,769 --> 00:01:25,728 She said "doody." 52 00:01:25,770 --> 00:01:27,813 Really, guys? At a funeral? 53 00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:29,315 Uh, okay. 54 00:01:29,357 --> 00:01:32,110 While not all of us possess 55 00:01:29,357 --> 00:01:32,110 your lofty sense of decorum, 56 00:01:32,151 --> 00:01:33,903 drug dealer from an '80s 57 00:01:32,151 --> 00:01:33,903 after-school special, 58 00:01:33,945 --> 00:01:35,321 we have to laugh today. 59 00:01:35,363 --> 00:01:37,323 It's healthy. 60 00:01:35,363 --> 00:01:37,323 Wait a minute. 61 00:01:37,365 --> 00:01:40,619 Today we are gonna 62 00:01:37,365 --> 00:01:40,619 make Marshall laugh. 63 00:01:40,660 --> 00:01:41,453 How? 64 00:01:41,494 --> 00:01:42,828 Ted, 65 00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:44,747 what's the one thing 66 00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:44,747 that always cracks him up? 67 00:01:44,789 --> 00:01:46,499 Internet footage of a guy 68 00:01:44,789 --> 00:01:46,499 getting hit in the nuts. 69 00:01:46,541 --> 00:01:48,668 Internet footage of a guy 70 00:01:46,541 --> 00:01:48,668 getting hit in the nuts. 71 00:01:46,541 --> 00:01:48,668 Exactly! 72 00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:51,921 So, we are gonna get our bro 73 00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:51,921 a four-star nad-rattler. 74 00:01:51,963 --> 00:01:53,923 You search knees, 75 00:01:51,963 --> 00:01:53,923 feet, banisters, 76 00:01:53,965 --> 00:01:55,508 fire hydrants 77 00:01:53,965 --> 00:01:55,508 and diving boards. 78 00:01:55,550 --> 00:01:57,302 And I'll cover bats, 79 00:01:55,550 --> 00:01:57,302 rackets, hockey sticks, 80 00:01:57,343 --> 00:01:58,678 golf clubs and riding crops. 81 00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:00,680 What about animals? 82 00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:00,680 Ah! 83 00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:02,098 Claws, paws, talons. 84 00:02:02,140 --> 00:02:03,849 Hooves, beaks 85 00:02:02,140 --> 00:02:03,849 and clenched monkey fists. 86 00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:05,726 We can do this! 87 00:02:05,768 --> 00:02:07,395 Hey, guys. Sorry. Um... 88 00:02:07,437 --> 00:02:09,772 I left my charger 89 00:02:07,437 --> 00:02:09,772 back in New York, 90 00:02:07,437 --> 00:02:09,772 so my phone's out of juice. 91 00:02:09,814 --> 00:02:11,065 - Does anyone have a... 92 00:02:09,814 --> 00:02:11,065 - Outlet or USB? 93 00:02:12,442 --> 00:02:13,734 Uh, outlet. 94 00:02:12,442 --> 00:02:13,734 Thank you. 95 00:02:14,777 --> 00:02:16,655 Oh. 96 00:02:16,696 --> 00:02:19,491 Hey, you really do have 97 00:02:16,696 --> 00:02:19,491 everything in there, don't you? 98 00:02:16,696 --> 00:02:19,491 Mm-hmm. 99 00:02:19,532 --> 00:02:21,993 You're like Mary Poppins 100 00:02:19,532 --> 00:02:21,993 if her magic purse was 101 00:02:19,532 --> 00:02:21,993 also filled with drugs. 102 00:02:22,034 --> 00:02:23,411 "If"? 103 00:02:23,453 --> 00:02:26,080 Ted, the kids in that movie 104 00:02:23,453 --> 00:02:26,080 jumped into a painting... 105 00:02:26,122 --> 00:02:28,791 and spent 15 minutes 106 00:02:26,122 --> 00:02:28,791 chasing a cartoon fox. 107 00:02:28,833 --> 00:02:32,420 "Spoonful of sugar?" 108 00:02:28,833 --> 00:02:32,420 Grow up. 109 00:02:34,255 --> 00:02:36,799 I'm so sorry 110 00:02:34,255 --> 00:02:36,799 for your loss, Judy. 111 00:02:36,841 --> 00:02:41,179 Thank you, Reverend. 112 00:02:36,841 --> 00:02:41,179 We're so happy that you're going 113 00:02:36,841 --> 00:02:41,179 to lead the services today. 114 00:02:41,220 --> 00:02:43,264 Unfortunately, I can't. 115 00:02:43,306 --> 00:02:46,685 My daughter in Chicago 116 00:02:43,306 --> 00:02:46,685 just went into labor. 117 00:02:46,726 --> 00:02:49,187 But I'm leaving you 118 00:02:46,726 --> 00:02:49,187 in the capable hands... 119 00:02:49,228 --> 00:02:51,814 of my second-in-command... 120 00:02:49,228 --> 00:02:51,814 my son. 121 00:02:51,856 --> 00:02:54,066 Your son? 122 00:02:54,108 --> 00:02:55,943 Oh, you remember Trey. 123 00:02:54,108 --> 00:02:55,943 I'll go grab him. 124 00:02:58,154 --> 00:02:59,155 Guys, 125 00:03:00,573 --> 00:03:02,992 Trey Platt terrorized me 126 00:03:00,573 --> 00:03:02,992 growing up. 127 00:03:03,034 --> 00:03:05,286 He was... He was 128 00:03:03,034 --> 00:03:05,286 the toughest bully in school. 129 00:03:05,328 --> 00:03:07,038 What's up, Marshall? 130 00:03:08,331 --> 00:03:10,291 Hello, Trey. 131 00:03:10,333 --> 00:03:11,792 Long time. 132 00:03:13,127 --> 00:03:15,087 I was not aware that you 133 00:03:13,127 --> 00:03:15,087 had become a reverend. 134 00:03:15,129 --> 00:03:17,006 Yeah, well, your lunch money 135 00:03:15,129 --> 00:03:17,006 finally ran out. 136 00:03:17,882 --> 00:03:18,883 Kidding. 137 00:03:20,719 --> 00:03:23,638 Marshall Eriksen, 138 00:03:20,719 --> 00:03:23,638 you could use a laugh! 139 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:25,097 [ Exclaims, 140 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:25,097 Clears Throat ] 141 00:03:25,139 --> 00:03:26,974 This video is entitled... 142 00:03:27,016 --> 00:03:28,893 "Little League Coach 143 00:03:27,016 --> 00:03:28,893 Gets Hit in the Nuts... 144 00:03:28,934 --> 00:03:31,312 by a Foul Ball and Then 145 00:03:28,934 --> 00:03:31,312 Vomits in a Garbage Can." 146 00:03:31,354 --> 00:03:33,856 I don't want 147 00:03:31,354 --> 00:03:33,856 to give anything away. 148 00:03:31,354 --> 00:03:33,856 Let's just watch. 149 00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:37,193 Oh! 150 00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:41,614 See, 'cause... 151 00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:41,614 'cause he got hit... 152 00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:41,614 Right in the nuts. 153 00:03:41,656 --> 00:03:43,408 And then the fat kid... 154 00:03:41,656 --> 00:03:43,408 The fat kid just keeps... 155 00:03:43,449 --> 00:03:44,867 runs away. 156 00:03:43,449 --> 00:03:44,867 running away. 157 00:03:44,909 --> 00:03:46,202 Trey Platt. 158 00:03:47,870 --> 00:03:49,789 I can't believe my father's 159 00:03:47,870 --> 00:03:49,789 funeral service... 160 00:03:49,872 --> 00:03:53,292 is being led by Trey 161 00:03:49,872 --> 00:03:53,292 "the Noogie Machine" Platt. 162 00:03:53,334 --> 00:03:56,045 That guy gave you noogies? 163 00:03:53,334 --> 00:03:56,045 What, did he carry 164 00:03:53,334 --> 00:03:56,045 a stepladder? 165 00:03:57,213 --> 00:03:58,673 He made me carry it. 166 00:03:59,924 --> 00:04:01,676 So my dad asks 167 00:03:59,924 --> 00:04:01,676 these questions... 168 00:04:01,718 --> 00:04:05,054 to help create a theme 169 00:04:01,718 --> 00:04:05,054 for the service, 170 00:04:01,718 --> 00:04:05,054 or... whatever. 171 00:04:06,472 --> 00:04:07,890 Question one. 172 00:04:07,932 --> 00:04:09,850 "What were your last words 173 00:04:07,932 --> 00:04:09,850 with the deceased?" 174 00:04:09,892 --> 00:04:10,851 Lame. 175 00:04:12,270 --> 00:04:13,730 - Question two. 176 00:04:12,270 --> 00:04:13,730 - Wait. 177 00:04:15,106 --> 00:04:17,609 My last words 178 00:04:15,106 --> 00:04:17,609 with Marvin were lovely. 179 00:04:17,650 --> 00:04:19,860 I've been thinking 180 00:04:17,650 --> 00:04:19,860 about them a lot. 181 00:04:19,902 --> 00:04:24,198 Me too. We went 182 00:04:19,902 --> 00:04:24,198 for a hike in the snow 183 00:04:19,902 --> 00:04:24,198 and had this amazing talk. 184 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:27,076 My last day with Pop, 185 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:27,076 he taught my son 186 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:27,076 how to skate. 187 00:04:30,996 --> 00:04:32,915 Well, this is clearly 188 00:04:30,996 --> 00:04:32,915 yielding nothing. 189 00:04:32,957 --> 00:04:34,709 Thanks, Dad. 190 00:04:34,751 --> 00:04:37,044 Guess I'll have to fill the time 191 00:04:34,751 --> 00:04:37,044 with some jokes... again! 192 00:04:38,963 --> 00:04:42,634 "Last words" seems like 193 00:04:38,963 --> 00:04:42,634 a good theme. 194 00:04:42,675 --> 00:04:45,219 Marshall, do you remember 195 00:04:42,675 --> 00:04:45,219 the last thing 196 00:04:42,675 --> 00:04:45,219 your father said to you? 197 00:04:47,096 --> 00:04:48,889 Bye, sweetie. 198 00:04:47,096 --> 00:04:48,889 Bye, Mom. 199 00:04:50,308 --> 00:04:51,476 Son, 200 00:04:52,977 --> 00:04:54,979 there's something I want 201 00:04:52,977 --> 00:04:54,979 to say before I leave. 202 00:04:56,606 --> 00:04:57,898 Yeah, Dad? 203 00:04:59,984 --> 00:05:02,737 Could I snag that extra 204 00:04:59,984 --> 00:05:02,737 pork chop for the flight? 205 00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:06,157 I was gonna make 206 00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:06,157 a sandwich with that, Dad. 207 00:05:06,198 --> 00:05:07,950 D'ah! 208 00:05:06,198 --> 00:05:07,950 Don't they have food 209 00:05:06,198 --> 00:05:07,950 on the plane? 210 00:05:07,992 --> 00:05:10,911 Yeah, but plane food is ass. 211 00:05:12,747 --> 00:05:14,915 "Plane food is ass." 212 00:05:17,001 --> 00:05:20,379 Those are the last words 213 00:05:17,001 --> 00:05:20,379 my father will ever 214 00:05:17,001 --> 00:05:20,379 say to me. 215 00:05:20,421 --> 00:05:22,923 Right after I denied 216 00:05:20,421 --> 00:05:22,923 the man a pork chop. 217 00:05:20,421 --> 00:05:22,923 Oh, God. 218 00:05:28,471 --> 00:05:30,556 Ooh! 219 00:05:28,471 --> 00:05:30,556 Wait! I'm wrong! 220 00:05:30,598 --> 00:05:34,644 I'm wrong! 221 00:05:30,598 --> 00:05:34,644 That wasn't it. 222 00:05:30,598 --> 00:05:34,644 They couldn't find a cab. 223 00:05:34,686 --> 00:05:36,395 Hey! Marshall! 224 00:05:34,686 --> 00:05:36,395 So my dad 225 00:05:34,686 --> 00:05:36,395 called up from the street. 226 00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:37,438 Marshall! 227 00:05:39,023 --> 00:05:41,150 Looks like rain out here! 228 00:05:41,192 --> 00:05:44,987 I couldn't find an umbrella 229 00:05:41,192 --> 00:05:44,987 in your closet. 230 00:05:45,029 --> 00:05:47,866 You know who probably 231 00:05:45,029 --> 00:05:47,866 has an umbrella? 232 00:05:47,907 --> 00:05:51,369 And then... Well, see, my dad 233 00:05:47,907 --> 00:05:51,369 grew up in a small town... 234 00:05:51,410 --> 00:05:54,789 in another generation, 235 00:05:51,410 --> 00:05:54,789 so sometimes, 236 00:05:51,410 --> 00:05:54,789 totally well-meaningly, 237 00:05:54,831 --> 00:05:56,415 he'd say stuff like... 238 00:05:56,457 --> 00:05:59,669 The Koreans across the hall! 239 00:05:59,711 --> 00:06:03,047 Yeah, the Koreans 240 00:05:59,711 --> 00:06:03,047 are a trustworthy 241 00:05:59,711 --> 00:06:03,047 and generous people. 242 00:06:03,088 --> 00:06:06,467 - Dad... 243 00:06:03,088 --> 00:06:06,467 - I bet you one of the Koreans 244 00:06:03,088 --> 00:06:06,467 has an umbrella. 245 00:06:06,509 --> 00:06:08,928 I... Heck, they're Koreans! 246 00:06:11,514 --> 00:06:14,809 My dad's last words to me 247 00:06:11,514 --> 00:06:14,809 were a string of... 248 00:06:14,851 --> 00:06:17,019 odd racial stereotypes. 249 00:06:17,061 --> 00:06:19,021 All that stuff 250 00:06:17,061 --> 00:06:19,021 was really nice. 251 00:06:19,063 --> 00:06:21,148 Yeah, it's positive racism. 252 00:06:19,063 --> 00:06:21,148 Mmm. 253 00:06:21,190 --> 00:06:23,902 This is worse 254 00:06:21,190 --> 00:06:23,902 than the pork chop. 255 00:06:25,361 --> 00:06:27,613 This next clip 256 00:06:25,361 --> 00:06:27,613 is entitled... 257 00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:31,033 "Guy Playing Bagpipes 258 00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:31,033 Gets Hit in the Nuts 259 00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:31,033 by Low-flying Seagull." 260 00:06:31,075 --> 00:06:33,035 Let's see what happens. 261 00:06:33,077 --> 00:06:34,203 Let's take a... 262 00:06:34,245 --> 00:06:36,038 Here... 263 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:37,665 Here it comes, and here... 264 00:06:37,707 --> 00:06:39,792 Oh! 265 00:06:37,707 --> 00:06:39,792 Oh! 266 00:06:41,836 --> 00:06:43,838 'Cause he gets hit... 267 00:06:41,836 --> 00:06:43,838 Right in the nuts. 268 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:46,549 And then... 269 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:46,549 The fat kid just... 270 00:06:46,591 --> 00:06:49,051 His swim trunks fall off. 271 00:06:46,591 --> 00:06:49,051 His shorts 272 00:06:46,591 --> 00:06:49,051 just fall right off. 273 00:06:49,093 --> 00:06:50,970 No, wait. I'm wrong. 274 00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:54,181 That wasn't it. 275 00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:54,181 They couldn't find a cab, 276 00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:54,181 so I went down there. 277 00:06:54,223 --> 00:06:59,103 Hey. You were right. 278 00:06:54,223 --> 00:06:59,103 The Kangs did, in fact, 279 00:06:54,223 --> 00:06:59,103 have an umbrella. 280 00:06:59,144 --> 00:07:02,022 - Of course they did. 281 00:06:59,144 --> 00:07:02,022 - Bye, sweetie. Mwah! 282 00:07:05,234 --> 00:07:07,403 Hey, Son, uh, 283 00:07:07,445 --> 00:07:10,489 I just want to leave you 284 00:07:07,445 --> 00:07:10,489 with a little advice. 285 00:07:12,867 --> 00:07:16,788 Rent Crocodile Dundee 3. 286 00:07:16,829 --> 00:07:19,039 I caught it 287 00:07:16,829 --> 00:07:19,039 on the cable last night. 288 00:07:16,829 --> 00:07:19,039 It totally holds up! 289 00:07:21,918 --> 00:07:25,838 Crocodile Dundee 3 290 00:07:21,918 --> 00:07:25,838 is the second-best 291 00:07:21,918 --> 00:07:25,838 of the Croc trilogy, so... 292 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:27,715 You know, maybe 293 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:27,715 I can live with that. 294 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:27,715 Yeah. 295 00:07:27,757 --> 00:07:29,968 Oh. Sorry. 296 00:07:27,757 --> 00:07:29,968 My phone's charged. 297 00:07:32,136 --> 00:07:35,640 I, uh... I hear you're 298 00:07:32,136 --> 00:07:35,640 a woman who can get things. 299 00:07:35,681 --> 00:07:38,392 I have been known 300 00:07:35,681 --> 00:07:38,392 to locate certain objects 301 00:07:35,681 --> 00:07:38,392 from time to time. 302 00:07:38,434 --> 00:07:41,061 I need vodka 303 00:07:38,434 --> 00:07:41,061 and dirty playing cards. 304 00:07:42,647 --> 00:07:43,648 I got you. 305 00:07:46,901 --> 00:07:48,402 Oh, my God. 306 00:07:48,444 --> 00:07:49,988 What is it? 307 00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:54,074 I have a voice mail 308 00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:54,074 from my dad. 309 00:08:00,999 --> 00:08:04,043 - You have a voice mail 310 00:08:00,999 --> 00:08:04,043 from your dad? 311 00:08:00,999 --> 00:08:04,043 - How? 312 00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:08,006 My phone's been out of juice, 313 00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:08,006 so he must have called me 314 00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:08,006 the day that he, uh... 315 00:08:10,842 --> 00:08:13,135 Baby, are you okay? 316 00:08:13,177 --> 00:08:15,220 I hold in my hand... 317 00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:18,016 the last words my father 318 00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:18,016 will ever say to me. 319 00:08:21,185 --> 00:08:23,228 I'm gonna hit "play." 320 00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:27,025 What's wrong? 321 00:08:27,066 --> 00:08:29,694 What if it's worse 322 00:08:27,066 --> 00:08:29,694 than "Crocodile Dundee 3"? 323 00:08:31,195 --> 00:08:34,532 I can't do this. 324 00:08:31,195 --> 00:08:34,532 I c... 325 00:08:34,573 --> 00:08:36,575 - My mom is 326 00:08:34,573 --> 00:08:36,575 about to collapse. 327 00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:39,037 I'm gonna take... 328 00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:39,037 No, no, baby. 329 00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:39,037 Baby, I got it. Let me. 330 00:08:41,205 --> 00:08:43,165 You know, you should 331 00:08:41,205 --> 00:08:43,165 listen to it. 332 00:08:43,207 --> 00:08:45,167 Just don't put too much 333 00:08:43,207 --> 00:08:45,167 pressure on it. 334 00:08:45,209 --> 00:08:47,169 She's right. 335 00:08:45,209 --> 00:08:47,169 I mean, this idea that... 336 00:08:47,211 --> 00:08:49,547 someone's last words have to be 337 00:08:47,211 --> 00:08:49,547 profound and meaningful... 338 00:08:49,588 --> 00:08:51,173 I mean, who can 339 00:08:49,588 --> 00:08:51,173 live up to that? 340 00:08:51,215 --> 00:08:52,550 Exactly. 341 00:08:52,591 --> 00:08:54,552 All those 342 00:08:52,591 --> 00:08:54,552 "famous last words" 343 00:08:52,591 --> 00:08:54,552 people supposedly said... 344 00:08:54,593 --> 00:08:56,178 they're all made-up. 345 00:08:56,220 --> 00:09:00,516 Like that patriotic dude, 346 00:08:56,220 --> 00:09:00,516 Nathan Hale, 347 00:08:56,220 --> 00:09:00,516 from third-grade history? 348 00:09:00,558 --> 00:09:02,560 My only regret... 349 00:09:02,601 --> 00:09:05,855 is I have but one life 350 00:09:02,601 --> 00:09:05,855 to lose for my country. 351 00:09:07,231 --> 00:09:09,400 You know what his real 352 00:09:07,231 --> 00:09:09,400 last words were? 353 00:09:09,441 --> 00:09:11,986 I'm peeing my pants! 354 00:09:12,778 --> 00:09:15,031 True story. 355 00:09:15,073 --> 00:09:18,158 The point is, 356 00:09:15,073 --> 00:09:18,158 last words are overrated. 357 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:20,202 Look, think of it 358 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:20,202 this way. 359 00:09:20,244 --> 00:09:23,205 You get to hear your dad's 360 00:09:20,244 --> 00:09:23,205 voice one last time. 361 00:09:23,247 --> 00:09:26,208 I should go listen 362 00:09:23,247 --> 00:09:26,208 to this... alone. 363 00:09:26,250 --> 00:09:27,376 Yeah. 364 00:09:26,250 --> 00:09:27,376 Okay? 365 00:09:26,250 --> 00:09:27,376 I'll be right back. 366 00:09:27,418 --> 00:09:28,419 Okay. 367 00:09:32,256 --> 00:09:33,799 Hey. 368 00:09:33,841 --> 00:09:35,509 So, um, I heard 369 00:09:33,841 --> 00:09:35,509 you might have... 370 00:09:35,551 --> 00:09:37,386 You heard right. 371 00:09:37,428 --> 00:09:38,971 I'm getting a reputation. 372 00:09:40,765 --> 00:09:42,182 So what you need, mama? 373 00:09:40,765 --> 00:09:42,182 Come here. 374 00:09:45,269 --> 00:09:47,897 Guys, listen to 375 00:09:45,269 --> 00:09:47,897 what just happened. 376 00:09:47,939 --> 00:09:51,943 Judy, do you need a break? 377 00:09:47,939 --> 00:09:51,943 I'm happy to cook for a while. 378 00:09:51,984 --> 00:09:55,320 You think your snobby 379 00:09:51,984 --> 00:09:55,320 New York cooking 380 00:09:51,984 --> 00:09:55,320 is better than mine! 381 00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:57,782 Admit it! 382 00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:57,782 Well, go ahead, Lily! 383 00:09:57,823 --> 00:10:03,621 Why don't you just whip up 384 00:09:57,823 --> 00:10:03,621 a batch of your fancy 385 00:09:57,823 --> 00:10:03,621 tofu-sushi bagels... 386 00:10:03,662 --> 00:10:05,790 and choke on them! 387 00:10:05,831 --> 00:10:07,541 Whoa. 388 00:10:05,831 --> 00:10:07,541 Are you okay? 389 00:10:07,583 --> 00:10:08,542 Listen. 390 00:10:11,045 --> 00:10:14,256 I'm gonna go take a nap. 391 00:10:14,298 --> 00:10:17,509 Judy's finally sleeping, 392 00:10:14,298 --> 00:10:17,509 and it's all because of me. 393 00:10:17,551 --> 00:10:21,305 Guys, I have a role. 394 00:10:17,551 --> 00:10:21,305 I'm Judy's bitch! Yeah! 395 00:10:21,346 --> 00:10:25,392 Well... But this day 396 00:10:21,346 --> 00:10:25,392 is tough on you too. You sure 397 00:10:21,346 --> 00:10:25,392 you can absorb all that? 398 00:10:25,434 --> 00:10:28,353 Yeah! Robin gave me 399 00:10:25,434 --> 00:10:28,353 a little orange pill 400 00:10:25,434 --> 00:10:28,353 from her purse. 401 00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:31,523 I don't know what's in it, 402 00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:31,523 but things are flowing 403 00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:31,523 pretty smooth right now. 404 00:10:31,565 --> 00:10:32,858 Hey. Stay hydrated. 405 00:10:34,568 --> 00:10:36,278 Hey. 406 00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:37,321 So? 407 00:10:38,948 --> 00:10:42,118 I couldn't listen to it. 408 00:10:38,948 --> 00:10:42,118 Guys, this is hard. 409 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:45,287 We know, baby, 410 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:45,287 but you'll always wonder 411 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:45,287 if you don't. 412 00:10:45,329 --> 00:10:48,749 Your dad loved you. 413 00:10:45,329 --> 00:10:48,749 It almost doesn't matter 414 00:10:45,329 --> 00:10:48,749 what he said. 415 00:10:48,791 --> 00:10:50,751 It doesn't matter. 416 00:10:48,791 --> 00:10:50,751 Guys... Guys... 417 00:10:50,793 --> 00:10:54,130 What if, God forbid, 418 00:10:50,793 --> 00:10:54,130 all of your dads died 419 00:10:50,793 --> 00:10:54,130 right now? 420 00:10:56,174 --> 00:10:58,550 What would their last words 421 00:10:56,174 --> 00:10:58,550 to you have been? 422 00:10:56,174 --> 00:10:58,550 Seriously. 423 00:10:59,510 --> 00:11:01,012 I know mine. 424 00:11:01,053 --> 00:11:03,472 When I was in Cleveland 425 00:11:01,053 --> 00:11:03,472 last month, 426 00:11:03,514 --> 00:11:05,808 I went to visit my dad 427 00:11:03,514 --> 00:11:05,808 at his... 428 00:11:05,850 --> 00:11:08,894 post-divorce bachelor pad. 429 00:11:08,936 --> 00:11:12,314 Been fun bro-in' out 430 00:11:08,936 --> 00:11:12,314 with you tonight, T-Dawg. 431 00:11:12,356 --> 00:11:14,192 Yeah. 432 00:11:14,233 --> 00:11:16,694 I'm so glad we can talk 433 00:11:14,233 --> 00:11:16,694 about our sex lives now. 434 00:11:16,735 --> 00:11:19,780 That's totally an improvement. 435 00:11:19,822 --> 00:11:22,324 I hooked up 436 00:11:19,822 --> 00:11:22,324 with a younger woman 437 00:11:19,822 --> 00:11:22,324 the other week. 438 00:11:22,366 --> 00:11:24,702 Donna Bromstead. 439 00:11:24,743 --> 00:11:26,204 My prom date? 440 00:11:27,246 --> 00:11:28,831 How far did you get, 441 00:11:27,246 --> 00:11:28,831 T-Dawg? 442 00:11:31,125 --> 00:11:32,793 I have to go. 443 00:11:35,921 --> 00:11:39,133 How would you like those to be 444 00:11:35,921 --> 00:11:39,133 your father's last words? 445 00:11:39,175 --> 00:11:42,261 Well, they might be. 446 00:11:39,175 --> 00:11:42,261 Donna Bromstead's 447 00:11:39,175 --> 00:11:42,261 husband is a cop. 448 00:11:47,391 --> 00:11:48,267 Lawyered. 449 00:11:50,394 --> 00:11:51,020 Lily. 450 00:11:52,146 --> 00:11:54,690 Hello? 451 00:11:54,732 --> 00:11:56,984 Lily? It's Dad. 452 00:11:57,026 --> 00:12:00,738 Listen, I'm sort of in jail 453 00:11:57,026 --> 00:12:00,738 for not paying taxes 454 00:11:57,026 --> 00:12:00,738 for the last 25 years, 455 00:12:00,779 --> 00:12:03,365 but... bright side... 456 00:12:00,779 --> 00:12:03,365 I thought of a great 457 00:12:00,779 --> 00:12:03,365 new board game... 458 00:12:03,407 --> 00:12:06,368 Tax Evasion. 459 00:12:03,407 --> 00:12:06,368 Ages six to 10. 460 00:12:06,410 --> 00:12:09,163 Which is ironically 461 00:12:06,410 --> 00:12:09,163 what I might be looking at. 462 00:12:09,205 --> 00:12:12,166 Anyway, pumpkin, 463 00:12:09,205 --> 00:12:12,166 I need $15,000. 464 00:12:12,208 --> 00:12:13,792 Fooled ya! 465 00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:16,795 Leave a message after the beep. 466 00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:16,795 We'll get back to ya. 467 00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:19,339 Beep. 468 00:12:22,593 --> 00:12:23,969 Lawyered. 469 00:12:25,429 --> 00:12:28,099 Robin. 470 00:12:28,140 --> 00:12:31,435 And so, despite 471 00:12:28,140 --> 00:12:31,435 the endless disappointment 472 00:12:28,140 --> 00:12:31,435 you've caused me, 473 00:12:31,476 --> 00:12:34,980 I pray that this will 474 00:12:31,476 --> 00:12:34,980 finally be the year... 475 00:12:35,022 --> 00:12:38,400 that you achieve something 476 00:12:35,022 --> 00:12:38,400 of actual significance. 477 00:12:38,442 --> 00:12:40,903 I'd love to stop 478 00:12:38,442 --> 00:12:40,903 lying to my friends 479 00:12:38,442 --> 00:12:40,903 about you being in a coma. 480 00:12:42,446 --> 00:12:45,407 Anyway, point is, 481 00:12:45,449 --> 00:12:46,867 happy birthday, R.J. 482 00:12:46,909 --> 00:12:48,493 - Ooh. Wow! 483 00:12:46,909 --> 00:12:48,493 - God. 484 00:12:48,535 --> 00:12:51,705 That's awful. 485 00:12:48,535 --> 00:12:51,705 Nope. 486 00:12:48,535 --> 00:12:51,705 Here's the awful part. 487 00:12:51,747 --> 00:12:54,750 You remembered my birthday! 488 00:12:57,836 --> 00:13:00,047 Lawyered. 489 00:13:00,089 --> 00:13:02,883 Now, can we all just 490 00:13:00,089 --> 00:13:02,883 admit that last words... 491 00:13:02,925 --> 00:13:04,551 are, in fact, 492 00:13:02,925 --> 00:13:04,551 a big deal? 493 00:13:04,593 --> 00:13:06,511 Yes. 494 00:13:04,593 --> 00:13:06,511 Yes. 495 00:13:06,553 --> 00:13:09,389 Man. I always thought 496 00:13:06,553 --> 00:13:09,389 I had it rough, 497 00:13:09,431 --> 00:13:12,059 not really 498 00:13:09,431 --> 00:13:12,059 knowing my dad, but... 499 00:13:12,101 --> 00:13:16,647 now I realize 500 00:13:12,101 --> 00:13:16,647 at least I'll never have 501 00:13:12,101 --> 00:13:16,647 to suffer like this. 502 00:13:16,688 --> 00:13:19,984 Our next video is called 503 00:13:16,688 --> 00:13:19,984 "German Shepherd Activates 504 00:13:16,688 --> 00:13:19,984 Tennis Ball Cannon... 505 00:13:20,025 --> 00:13:22,153 While Fat Kid 506 00:13:20,025 --> 00:13:22,153 Sips Energy Drink." 507 00:13:20,025 --> 00:13:22,153 Okay, Barney... 508 00:13:22,194 --> 00:13:25,447 Please, and, Barney, 509 00:13:22,194 --> 00:13:25,447 no more videos, okay? 510 00:13:22,194 --> 00:13:25,447 I'm just... 511 00:13:25,489 --> 00:13:26,991 I just need a minute. 512 00:13:28,826 --> 00:13:32,496 Okay. Okay, who is 513 00:13:28,826 --> 00:13:32,496 responsible for this? 514 00:13:32,537 --> 00:13:35,040 Who got Cousin Daphne drunk? 515 00:13:35,082 --> 00:13:37,459 She is 15 years old! 516 00:13:37,501 --> 00:13:39,503 Whoa! They grown 'em big 517 00:13:37,501 --> 00:13:39,503 out here. 518 00:13:39,544 --> 00:13:41,463 And here's your 519 00:13:39,544 --> 00:13:41,463 phone number back. 520 00:13:44,508 --> 00:13:47,303 - Judy, I... 521 00:13:44,508 --> 00:13:47,303 - I-I did it. 522 00:13:47,345 --> 00:13:51,473 What possible excuse 523 00:13:47,345 --> 00:13:51,473 could you have for this? 524 00:13:51,515 --> 00:13:54,893 I'm from New York. 525 00:13:51,515 --> 00:13:54,893 We think getting 526 00:13:51,515 --> 00:13:54,893 minors drunk is funny. 527 00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:58,480 There's nothing funny 528 00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:58,480 about getting minors drunk! 529 00:13:58,522 --> 00:14:00,482 You should be ashamed, Lily! 530 00:14:00,524 --> 00:14:01,817 Ashamed! 531 00:14:05,363 --> 00:14:08,115 Mmm! Oh, boy, 532 00:14:05,363 --> 00:14:08,115 it's so tasty. 533 00:14:08,157 --> 00:14:09,741 Mmm! Mmm! 534 00:14:09,783 --> 00:14:13,704 That salad's the first food 535 00:14:09,783 --> 00:14:13,704 she's eaten in two days. 536 00:14:13,745 --> 00:14:16,832 Sure, it's mostly cheese, 537 00:14:13,745 --> 00:14:16,832 mayonnaise and jelly beans, 538 00:14:13,745 --> 00:14:16,832 but it counts. 539 00:14:16,874 --> 00:14:18,625 Well, at least 540 00:14:16,874 --> 00:14:18,625 someone's helping. 541 00:14:18,667 --> 00:14:20,460 We haven't made 542 00:14:18,667 --> 00:14:20,460 Marshall laugh once. 543 00:14:20,502 --> 00:14:22,504 Yeah. 544 00:14:22,546 --> 00:14:25,674 Showing videos of guys 545 00:14:22,546 --> 00:14:25,674 getting hit in the nuts 546 00:14:22,546 --> 00:14:25,674 wasn't gonna do anything. 547 00:14:25,716 --> 00:14:27,759 That was just stupid. 548 00:14:25,716 --> 00:14:27,759 Stupid. 549 00:14:27,801 --> 00:14:30,554 What we need to do is 550 00:14:27,801 --> 00:14:30,554 hit each other in the nuts. 551 00:14:30,595 --> 00:14:33,057 Yes! 552 00:14:33,098 --> 00:14:35,475 Nothing beats the immediacy 553 00:14:33,098 --> 00:14:35,475 of live theater! 554 00:14:35,517 --> 00:14:37,728 But which one of us 555 00:14:35,517 --> 00:14:37,728 is gonna take the hit? 556 00:14:37,769 --> 00:14:39,813 Hey, Marshall. 557 00:14:37,769 --> 00:14:39,813 Mm. 558 00:14:39,855 --> 00:14:41,523 Ooh! 559 00:14:41,565 --> 00:14:43,692 So that's it? 560 00:14:41,565 --> 00:14:43,692 No discussion? 561 00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:48,530 I'm not gonna listen. 562 00:14:48,572 --> 00:14:50,532 "Rent Crocodile Dundee 3"... 563 00:14:50,574 --> 00:14:54,912 are the last words 564 00:14:50,574 --> 00:14:54,912 that my father will ever 565 00:14:50,574 --> 00:14:54,912 say to me, and... 566 00:14:54,953 --> 00:14:56,955 I think I can 567 00:14:54,953 --> 00:14:56,955 live with that. 568 00:14:58,290 --> 00:15:00,667 Is he laughing? 569 00:15:00,709 --> 00:15:04,129 And Marshall really did think 570 00:15:00,709 --> 00:15:04,129 he could live with that. 571 00:15:04,171 --> 00:15:06,673 That is, until later, 572 00:15:04,171 --> 00:15:06,673 at the memorial service. 573 00:15:06,715 --> 00:15:09,927 My last talk with Marvin... 574 00:15:09,968 --> 00:15:12,554 was so lovely. 575 00:15:12,596 --> 00:15:16,141 The stories his mother 576 00:15:12,596 --> 00:15:16,141 and brothers told 577 00:15:12,596 --> 00:15:16,141 were so perfect. 578 00:15:16,183 --> 00:15:18,560 Then he picked my crying son 579 00:15:16,183 --> 00:15:18,560 up off the ice, 580 00:15:18,602 --> 00:15:20,562 he gave him a hug and said, 581 00:15:20,604 --> 00:15:23,941 "Champ, it doesn't matter 582 00:15:20,604 --> 00:15:23,941 if you fall down 583 00:15:20,604 --> 00:15:23,941 once in a while." 584 00:15:23,982 --> 00:15:25,609 And as we hiked, 585 00:15:25,650 --> 00:15:27,945 a little deer 586 00:15:25,650 --> 00:15:27,945 appeared on the path. 587 00:15:27,986 --> 00:15:30,281 She hopped over to Dad 588 00:15:27,986 --> 00:15:30,281 and started eating... 589 00:15:30,322 --> 00:15:32,657 right out of his hand. 590 00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:34,868 And then he kissed me. 591 00:15:34,910 --> 00:15:36,578 And he said... 592 00:15:36,620 --> 00:15:38,705 "I will always be 593 00:15:36,620 --> 00:15:38,705 proud of you." 594 00:15:38,747 --> 00:15:41,166 "Life is such a gift." 595 00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:43,835 "You know something, 596 00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:43,835 gorgeous? 597 00:15:43,877 --> 00:15:47,214 I'm the luckiest man alive." 598 00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:50,426 Lame. 599 00:15:50,468 --> 00:15:52,219 These stories suck. 600 00:15:52,261 --> 00:15:55,597 It doesn't hold a candle 601 00:15:52,261 --> 00:15:55,597 to your Crocodile Dundee 602 00:15:52,261 --> 00:15:55,597 thing. 603 00:15:55,639 --> 00:15:57,557 Mm-mmm. 604 00:15:57,599 --> 00:15:59,101 He reminded me 605 00:15:57,599 --> 00:15:59,101 to slow down. 606 00:15:59,143 --> 00:16:00,894 You're up next, baby. 607 00:16:02,271 --> 00:16:04,064 [ Marcus Continues, 608 00:16:02,271 --> 00:16:04,064 Indistinct ] 609 00:16:04,106 --> 00:16:05,774 I just need some air. 610 00:16:10,946 --> 00:16:12,948 Baby, are you okay? 611 00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:16,868 I have to listen to it. 612 00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:32,592 It's a pocket dial. 613 00:16:34,386 --> 00:16:36,972 It's nothing. 614 00:16:45,939 --> 00:16:50,110 Okay, so it's a pocket dial. 615 00:16:50,152 --> 00:16:53,238 You know, you have so many 616 00:16:50,152 --> 00:16:53,238 great memories with your dad. 617 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:55,115 Who cares about the last one? 618 00:16:55,157 --> 00:16:56,992 - She's right. 619 00:16:57,034 --> 00:16:58,702 You guys don't get it, okay? 620 00:16:58,743 --> 00:17:00,704 None of you do. 621 00:17:02,706 --> 00:17:03,874 My dad was my hero. 622 00:17:05,543 --> 00:17:07,669 And he was my teacher. 623 00:17:07,711 --> 00:17:09,588 And he was my best friend. 624 00:17:12,090 --> 00:17:13,842 He always 625 00:17:12,090 --> 00:17:13,842 came through for me. 626 00:17:14,843 --> 00:17:16,887 And now he's just gone. 627 00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:20,432 And what am I left with? 628 00:17:20,474 --> 00:17:23,852 [ Distorted Chattering, 629 00:17:20,474 --> 00:17:23,852 Static ] 630 00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:26,688 Thanks a lot, God! 631 00:17:26,730 --> 00:17:27,814 Thank you. 632 00:17:27,856 --> 00:17:30,692 You took my father. 633 00:17:30,734 --> 00:17:33,695 The greatest man 634 00:17:30,734 --> 00:17:33,695 that I have ever known. 635 00:17:33,737 --> 00:17:36,698 And you ripped him off 636 00:17:33,737 --> 00:17:36,698 this earth way too young. 637 00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:40,744 And he'll never get 638 00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:40,744 to meet our kids, Lily. 639 00:17:43,747 --> 00:17:45,332 But we got this voice mail. 640 00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:50,712 Thank you so much 641 00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:50,712 for the voice mail. 642 00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:50,712 It's a great comfort! 643 00:17:50,754 --> 00:17:53,465 'Cause whenever I'm starting 644 00:17:50,754 --> 00:17:53,465 to feel lonely... 645 00:17:53,507 --> 00:17:57,177 or sad or... or you know what... 646 00:17:53,507 --> 00:17:57,177 or maybe a little bit cheated, 647 00:17:57,219 --> 00:17:59,804 at least I got the sound 648 00:17:57,219 --> 00:17:59,804 of his pocket to console me. 649 00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:02,724 Marshall... 650 00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:02,724 How is this fair? 651 00:18:02,766 --> 00:18:06,311 You know, like, 652 00:18:02,766 --> 00:18:06,311 an entire human life, 653 00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:09,022 and it just ends 654 00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:09,022 for no reason. 655 00:18:09,064 --> 00:18:10,732 And... 656 00:18:10,774 --> 00:18:12,734 And what are we left with? 657 00:18:14,903 --> 00:18:17,072 Marshall? 658 00:18:17,114 --> 00:18:19,908 Oh! Looks like 659 00:18:17,114 --> 00:18:19,908 I've been calling you 660 00:18:17,114 --> 00:18:19,908 for almost five minutes. 661 00:18:19,950 --> 00:18:22,453 How's my pocket sound? 662 00:18:22,494 --> 00:18:25,747 Oh, sorry about that, 663 00:18:22,494 --> 00:18:25,747 buddy. 664 00:18:25,789 --> 00:18:30,085 Um, anyway, your mom and I had 665 00:18:25,789 --> 00:18:30,085 such a great time seeing you. 666 00:18:30,127 --> 00:18:31,836 I love you. 667 00:18:36,258 --> 00:18:37,884 Looks like your dad 668 00:18:36,258 --> 00:18:37,884 came through one last time. 669 00:18:47,144 --> 00:18:49,020 "I love you." 670 00:18:51,106 --> 00:18:53,317 My father's last words to me 671 00:18:51,106 --> 00:18:53,317 are "I love you." 672 00:18:54,818 --> 00:18:57,070 Ooh. And let me know 673 00:18:54,818 --> 00:18:57,070 if you find my foot cream. 674 00:18:57,112 --> 00:18:59,072 That fungus thing 675 00:18:57,112 --> 00:18:59,072 is acting up again. 676 00:19:03,619 --> 00:19:05,036 "I love you." 677 00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:08,832 My father's last words to me 678 00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:08,832 are "I love you." 679 00:19:08,873 --> 00:19:11,001 - Yes, they were. 680 00:19:08,873 --> 00:19:11,001 - We heard it, yeah. 681 00:19:11,042 --> 00:19:12,752 Loud and clear. 682 00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:16,674 Bye, Pop. 683 00:19:19,134 --> 00:19:20,802 So Marshall finally 684 00:19:19,134 --> 00:19:20,802 got up to speak. 685 00:19:20,844 --> 00:19:22,887 Funny thing though... 686 00:19:22,929 --> 00:19:25,683 And then my father said 687 00:19:22,929 --> 00:19:25,683 the last words that 688 00:19:22,929 --> 00:19:25,683 he'll ever say to me: 689 00:19:27,851 --> 00:19:31,396 "Rent Crocodile Dundee 3. 690 00:19:31,438 --> 00:19:34,525 I caught it on the cable 691 00:19:31,438 --> 00:19:34,525 last night, 692 00:19:31,438 --> 00:19:34,525 and it totally holds up." 693 00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:39,279 He decided to keep 694 00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:39,279 Marvin's real last words 695 00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:39,279 just for himself. 696 00:19:39,321 --> 00:19:41,448 [ Marshall Continues, 697 00:19:39,321 --> 00:19:41,448 Indistinct ] 698 00:19:39,321 --> 00:19:41,448 Thanks. 699 00:19:41,490 --> 00:19:42,824 For what? 700 00:19:42,866 --> 00:19:45,827 I know what you've 701 00:19:42,866 --> 00:19:45,827 been doing today. 702 00:19:45,869 --> 00:19:48,788 And I really needed it. 703 00:19:48,830 --> 00:19:50,081 Anytime. 704 00:19:52,417 --> 00:19:55,253 That dress makes you look 705 00:19:52,417 --> 00:19:55,253 like a Kansas City whore. 706 00:19:56,714 --> 00:19:58,798 Sorry, dear. 707 00:19:56,714 --> 00:19:58,798 Last one. 708 00:20:03,428 --> 00:20:05,972 Oh, man. 709 00:20:06,014 --> 00:20:08,433 I should have rented 710 00:20:06,014 --> 00:20:08,433 Crocodile Dundee 3. 711 00:20:10,435 --> 00:20:12,812 Okay, seriously, 712 00:20:10,435 --> 00:20:12,812 how are you doing that? 713 00:20:15,899 --> 00:20:16,816 Thanks. 714 00:20:17,901 --> 00:20:19,903 I'll be right back. 715 00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:27,994 And if I don't come back, 716 00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:27,994 well, then these are 717 00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:27,994 my last words to you all. 718 00:20:30,914 --> 00:20:33,709 I really, really, really 719 00:20:30,914 --> 00:20:33,709 love you guys. 720 00:20:36,211 --> 00:20:37,879 And I'm gonna go 721 00:20:36,211 --> 00:20:37,879 drop a deuce. 722 00:20:37,921 --> 00:20:40,465 Oh, you ruined it! 723 00:20:40,507 --> 00:20:42,884 Last words. 724 00:20:40,507 --> 00:20:42,884 It's a lot of pressure, kids. 725 00:20:44,928 --> 00:20:47,889 It gets you thinking. 726 00:20:47,931 --> 00:20:50,434 Hi, Dad. 727 00:20:51,476 --> 00:20:52,894 Hi, Dad. 728 00:20:53,853 --> 00:20:55,063 Hi, Dad. 729 00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:58,024 Hey, Mom. 730 00:20:59,943 --> 00:21:02,613 I'm ready to meet my dad. 731 00:21:30,849 --> 00:21:31,850 English - US - Line 21