1
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Kids, Einstein was right.

2
00:00:04,381 --> 00:00:06,298
Time moves at different speeds.

3
00:00:06,423 --> 00:00:09,008
To Barney, the previous night

4
00:00:06,423 --> 00:00:09,008
raced by in a blur.

5
00:00:11,214 --> 00:00:12,590
But then, all of a sudden,

6
00:00:12,715 --> 00:00:15,173
time stopped.

7
00:00:15,298 --> 00:00:17,423
This might be the worst

8
00:00:15,298 --> 00:00:17,423
thing I've ever done.

9
00:00:17,548 --> 00:00:19,089
Hey, now.

10
00:00:19,214 --> 00:00:20,882
You weren't at the top of your

11
00:00:19,214 --> 00:00:20,882
game, but it was still pretty...

12
00:00:21,008 --> 00:00:23,008
Oh, my God!

13
00:00:23,131 --> 00:00:24,465
I just cheated

14
00:00:23,131 --> 00:00:24,465
on Kevin.

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He is the nicest guy ever.

16
00:00:26,465 --> 00:00:28,340
I'm a terrible person.

17
00:00:28,465 --> 00:00:29,548
It's okay.

18
00:00:29,674 --> 00:00:30,924
We both cheated.

19
00:00:31,049 --> 00:00:32,966
What's that saying about

20
00:00:31,049 --> 00:00:32,966
two wrongs making a right?

21
00:00:33,089 --> 00:00:35,507
"Two wrongs don't make a right"?

22
00:00:35,632 --> 00:00:38,173
No, that's not it.

23
00:00:38,298 --> 00:00:38,966
Oh, my God.

24
00:00:39,089 --> 00:00:41,298
I just cheated on Nora.

25
00:00:41,423 --> 00:00:43,008
How could I do this to her?

26
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What are we gonna do?

27
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I don't know.

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Well...

29
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Can I ask you, did

30
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this mean anything?

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00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:49,089
Of course it did.

32
00:00:50,841 --> 00:00:52,340
Of course it didn't.

33
00:00:52,465 --> 00:00:53,882
Which one are you looking for?

34
00:00:52,465 --> 00:00:53,882
I could see it going either way.

35
00:00:54,008 --> 00:00:55,924
It meant nothing.

36
00:00:54,008 --> 00:00:55,924
It meant nothing!

37
00:00:56,048 --> 00:00:58,131
How could you say

38
00:00:56,048 --> 00:00:58,131
it meant nothing?

39
00:00:58,256 --> 00:00:59,465
Of course it meant something!

40
00:00:59,590 --> 00:01:01,423
No, it didn't!

41
00:00:59,590 --> 00:01:01,423
It can't.

42
00:01:01,548 --> 00:01:06,214
Okay? You're with Nora,

43
00:01:01,548 --> 00:01:06,214
and I'm with Kevin and...

44
00:01:06,340 --> 00:01:07,214
I have to go.

45
00:01:07,340 --> 00:01:07,924
Wait, what are

46
00:01:07,340 --> 00:01:07,924
we gonna tell them?

47
00:01:08,048 --> 00:01:09,008
Nothing.

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00:01:09,173 --> 00:01:11,966
God! We made a

49
00:01:09,173 --> 00:01:11,966
horrible mistake.

50
00:01:12,173 --> 00:01:13,548
But it-it is over now.

51
00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:16,048
There's no reason to hurt more

52
00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:16,048
people by talking about it.

53
00:01:16,173 --> 00:01:19,423
You're asking me to lie?

54
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That's... fine.

55
00:01:20,966 --> 00:01:22,799
Damn it.

56
00:01:22,924 --> 00:01:24,632
Nora and I have that work cruise

57
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tomorrow night.

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We're all supposed

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to go together.

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Okay, I know this is thinking

61
00:01:26,256 --> 00:01:28,841
way, way out of the box,

62
00:01:28,966 --> 00:01:32,548
but what if... and hear me out...

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00:01:32,674 --> 00:01:33,966
we don't go?

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00:01:34,173 --> 00:01:35,674
No.

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00:01:35,799 --> 00:01:38,465
I just want this whole night

66
00:01:35,799 --> 00:01:38,465
to fade into history,

67
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so we have to act like

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it never happened.

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00:01:41,007 --> 00:01:42,173
We should go.

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00:01:42,214 --> 00:01:44,173
I mean, it's a three-hour

71
00:01:42,214 --> 00:01:44,173
boat ride...

72
00:01:44,214 --> 00:01:45,340
what could happen?

73
00:01:45,465 --> 00:01:49,048
I'm sure that's what

74
00:01:45,465 --> 00:01:49,048
Gilligan said.

75
00:02:05,799 --> 00:02:07,507
Groovapalooza!

76
00:02:07,632 --> 00:02:10,173
All the smug hippie bands from

77
00:02:07,632 --> 00:02:10,173
the '90s in one big concert.

78
00:02:11,173 --> 00:02:12,465
Ah, even the tickets

79
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smell like cloves

80
00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:14,173
and mediocrity.

81
00:02:14,256 --> 00:02:15,841
And to really

82
00:02:14,256 --> 00:02:15,841
take us back,

83
00:02:15,965 --> 00:02:18,799
I scored us a bag

84
00:02:15,965 --> 00:02:18,799
of, yes, mari...

85
00:02:18,924 --> 00:02:21,965
Kids, we used to do something

86
00:02:18,924 --> 00:02:21,965
before concerts

87
00:02:22,173 --> 00:02:23,298
to enjoy them more.

88
00:02:23,423 --> 00:02:26,048
And that thing was to...

89
00:02:23,423 --> 00:02:26,048
eat a sandwich.

90
00:02:26,214 --> 00:02:26,841
nated steak subs.

91
00:02:26,965 --> 00:02:29,173
Oh, yeah!

92
00:02:29,214 --> 00:02:33,465
Well, as future parents,

93
00:02:29,214 --> 00:02:33,465
we'll pass on the sandwiches.

94
00:02:33,590 --> 00:02:35,590
How could you even suggest

95
00:02:33,590 --> 00:02:35,590
such a thing, Ted?

96
00:02:35,715 --> 00:02:37,674
I better

97
00:02:35,715 --> 00:02:37,674
get my 60 bucks back.

98
00:02:37,799 --> 00:02:39,007
No sandwich?

99
00:02:39,173 --> 00:02:41,048
Marshall, it's a palooza.

100
00:02:41,173 --> 00:02:43,173
We've eaten sandwiches

101
00:02:41,173 --> 00:02:43,173
at every palooza.

102
00:02:43,214 --> 00:02:45,048
Lollapalooza, Funkapalooza...

103
00:02:45,173 --> 00:02:46,841
Gender-diversity-awareness-

104
00:02:45,173 --> 00:02:46,841
palooza, junior year.

105
00:02:46,965 --> 00:02:50,048
Yeah, there were

106
00:02:46,965 --> 00:02:50,048
some real bitches there.

107
00:02:51,423 --> 00:02:52,507
Okay, quick,

108
00:02:52,632 --> 00:02:53,923
before Lily gets here,

109
00:02:52,632 --> 00:02:53,923
let's fire this up.

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No way. I promised Lily

111
00:02:54,048 --> 00:02:57,548
that I would be responsible.

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You're not getting

113
00:02:57,674 --> 00:02:58,882
your 60 bucks back.

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00:02:59,007 --> 00:03:00,882
Give me that.

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00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:10,757
Hey, how you

116
00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:10,757
holding up?

117
00:03:10,882 --> 00:03:13,423
Well, I'm about to be

118
00:03:10,882 --> 00:03:13,423
trapped on a boat all night

119
00:03:13,548 --> 00:03:15,923
with the guy I cheated on,

120
00:03:13,548 --> 00:03:15,923
the guy I cheated with

121
00:03:16,048 --> 00:03:18,423
and the girl that the guy

122
00:03:16,048 --> 00:03:18,423
I cheated with cheated on.

123
00:03:18,548 --> 00:03:18,923
So, not super.

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Hi, Sandy.

125
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You're welcome.

126
00:03:22,256 --> 00:03:24,173
I did not say "Thank you."

127
00:03:24,298 --> 00:03:26,048
Oh, you're too kind.

128
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Too kind.

129
00:03:27,214 --> 00:03:29,715
Excuse me, I

130
00:03:27,214 --> 00:03:29,715
should really try

131
00:03:29,841 --> 00:03:31,423
to have sex with

132
00:03:29,841 --> 00:03:31,423
that new intern.

133
00:03:31,548 --> 00:03:34,548
Sandy Rivers hosted

134
00:03:31,548 --> 00:03:34,548
this cruise every year,

135
00:03:34,674 --> 00:03:36,799
mostly to hit on

136
00:03:34,674 --> 00:03:36,799
the new employees.

137
00:03:36,923 --> 00:03:40,298
And he'd found a clever way

138
00:03:36,923 --> 00:03:40,298
to never spend a cent.

139
00:03:40,423 --> 00:03:41,507
Up next, another four deaths

140
00:03:41,632 --> 00:03:43,841
in Arizona's record-breaking

141
00:03:41,632 --> 00:03:43,841
heat wave.

142
00:03:43,965 --> 00:03:47,214
You want real

143
00:03:43,965 --> 00:03:47,214
record-breaking heat?

144
00:03:47,340 --> 00:03:51,965
Try Kristoff's Jalapeno

145
00:03:47,340 --> 00:03:51,965
Coconut Vodka martini.

146
00:03:52,173 --> 00:03:54,799
Muy caliente!

147
00:03:54,923 --> 00:03:57,007
Okay, Nora and Kevin

148
00:03:57,173 --> 00:03:58,298
are gonna be here any minute.

149
00:03:58,423 --> 00:04:00,881
I thought I could handle this,

150
00:03:58,423 --> 00:04:00,881
but I can't.

151
00:04:01,007 --> 00:04:02,465
Okay, um, here's the plan.

152
00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:04,757
We'll grab one of the

153
00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:04,757
lifeboats, get back to shore,

154
00:04:04,881 --> 00:04:06,256
destroy the tape

155
00:04:04,881 --> 00:04:06,256
of us doing it...

156
00:04:06,381 --> 00:04:07,423
There's a tape of us doing it?

157
00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:08,881
and we'll start

158
00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:08,881
a new life together.

159
00:04:09,007 --> 00:04:12,256
Somewhere simple and homey,

160
00:04:09,007 --> 00:04:12,256
like Vermont or Dubai.

161
00:04:12,381 --> 00:04:14,298
Wait, is that what you want?

162
00:04:14,423 --> 00:04:16,423
For us to be together?

163
00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:17,507
Hey, Robin.

164
00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:19,590
Oh, God, I really

165
00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:19,590
can't do this.

166
00:04:19,715 --> 00:04:21,840
Don't worry. Just follow my lead

167
00:04:19,715 --> 00:04:21,840
and keep cool.

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00:04:21,965 --> 00:04:23,173
Hey, guys!

169
00:04:23,214 --> 00:04:25,007
They know!

170
00:04:25,173 --> 00:04:28,340
Oh, no.

171
00:04:28,465 --> 00:04:32,840
I think that sandwich was

172
00:04:28,465 --> 00:04:32,840
laced with other stuff.

173
00:04:32,965 --> 00:04:34,423
Like, hard meats.

174
00:04:34,548 --> 00:04:36,173
What do you mean?

175
00:04:36,214 --> 00:04:39,840
Well, usually after a sandwich,

176
00:04:36,214 --> 00:04:39,840
I feel paranoid, but I'm not.

177
00:04:39,965 --> 00:04:42,298
Why am I not

178
00:04:39,965 --> 00:04:42,298
feeling paranoid?

179
00:04:42,423 --> 00:04:44,298
Calm down, dude!

180
00:04:44,423 --> 00:04:46,173
We'll be fine.

181
00:04:46,214 --> 00:04:48,340
Lily's gonna know.

182
00:04:48,465 --> 00:04:50,757
Listen to me.

183
00:04:50,881 --> 00:04:54,381
Whatever we were just

184
00:04:50,881 --> 00:04:54,381
talking about...

185
00:04:54,507 --> 00:04:56,298
we'll be fine.

186
00:04:56,423 --> 00:04:58,298
You're right, she

187
00:04:56,423 --> 00:04:58,298
won't find out.

188
00:04:58,423 --> 00:04:59,256
Hey, guys.

189
00:04:59,381 --> 00:05:01,715
She knows!

190
00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:02,923
Good evening.

191
00:05:03,048 --> 00:05:05,715
A special welcome

192
00:05:03,048 --> 00:05:05,715
to our four new interns:

193
00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:08,048
Erika... and so on.

194
00:05:08,173 --> 00:05:10,298
One safety matter:

195
00:05:08,173 --> 00:05:10,298
life preservers are

196
00:05:10,423 --> 00:05:12,548
on the side rails,

197
00:05:10,423 --> 00:05:12,548
in case anyone falls overboard.

198
00:05:12,674 --> 00:05:15,590
That's it.

199
00:05:12,674 --> 00:05:15,590
Have a good night.

200
00:05:15,715 --> 00:05:16,881
Don't drink too much.

201
00:05:17,007 --> 00:05:18,298
Or do.

202
00:05:20,632 --> 00:05:22,590
Beautiful night,

203
00:05:20,632 --> 00:05:22,590
huh, gang?

204
00:05:22,715 --> 00:05:24,881
Yeah, Robin and I

205
00:05:22,715 --> 00:05:24,881
were just cheating...

206
00:05:25,007 --> 00:05:27,340
chatting about

207
00:05:25,007 --> 00:05:27,340
how warm it is.

208
00:05:27,465 --> 00:05:29,798
I'm breaking a

209
00:05:27,465 --> 00:05:29,798
trust... sweat

210
00:05:29,923 --> 00:05:30,881
in here.

211
00:05:32,632 --> 00:05:35,381
And I thought

212
00:05:32,632 --> 00:05:35,381
we'd be cuckold.

213
00:05:35,507 --> 00:05:37,423
I know why you're

214
00:05:35,507 --> 00:05:37,423
so nervous, Barney.

215
00:05:37,548 --> 00:05:38,923
You do?

216
00:05:39,048 --> 00:05:41,298
You're meeting Nora's parents

217
00:05:39,048 --> 00:05:41,298
tomorrow night, right?

218
00:05:42,423 --> 00:05:44,173
That's it!

219
00:05:42,423 --> 00:05:44,173
That's it!

220
00:05:44,256 --> 00:05:44,923
Let's dance!

221
00:05:45,048 --> 00:05:46,881
Bah!

222
00:05:45,048 --> 00:05:46,881
Whoo!

223
00:05:50,214 --> 00:05:51,881
Lily has no idea I'm high.

224
00:05:52,007 --> 00:05:54,173
You're high?

225
00:05:54,298 --> 00:05:56,048
I'm sorry.

226
00:05:59,298 --> 00:06:02,423
Lily has no idea I'm high.

227
00:06:02,548 --> 00:06:04,214
Okay, well, if

228
00:06:02,548 --> 00:06:04,214
your pregnant wife

229
00:06:04,340 --> 00:06:06,548
has to sit here

230
00:06:04,340 --> 00:06:06,548
sober all night,

231
00:06:06,674 --> 00:06:09,381
she's gonna need

232
00:06:06,674 --> 00:06:09,381
some of them nachos.

233
00:06:09,507 --> 00:06:11,048
You got it.

234
00:06:11,173 --> 00:06:12,632
Hey, dude, fork over

235
00:06:11,173 --> 00:06:12,632
some of them nach...

236
00:06:12,756 --> 00:06:13,173
No, not his.

237
00:06:13,214 --> 00:06:15,298
My own.

238
00:06:15,423 --> 00:06:17,007
Ah. Smart.

239
00:06:17,173 --> 00:06:18,756
Come on, Ted.

240
00:06:18,881 --> 00:06:20,007
What?

241
00:06:24,007 --> 00:06:29,048
And thus began the most

242
00:06:24,007 --> 00:06:29,048
harrowing journey of our lives.

243
00:06:29,173 --> 00:06:32,173
To this day,

244
00:06:29,173 --> 00:06:32,173
Robin and Barney swear

245
00:06:32,298 --> 00:06:33,840
this is the song

246
00:06:32,298 --> 00:06:33,840
they danced to that night.

247
00:07:20,423 --> 00:07:21,881
I'll wait.

248
00:07:24,548 --> 00:07:27,673
Oh, come on, seriously,

249
00:07:24,548 --> 00:07:27,673
you're not gonna tell them?

250
00:07:27,798 --> 00:07:29,840
We have to tell them.

251
00:07:27,798 --> 00:07:29,840
Right now.

252
00:07:32,798 --> 00:07:35,007
Seriously, you guys suck.

253
00:07:40,048 --> 00:07:41,881
Marshall and I were still

254
00:07:40,048 --> 00:07:41,881
in line to get Lily's nachos.

255
00:07:42,007 --> 00:07:45,631
Dude, we've been

256
00:07:42,007 --> 00:07:45,631
waiting forever.

257
00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:48,840
Even worse, this is the line

258
00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:48,840
for the ladies' room.

259
00:07:50,007 --> 00:07:54,048
I can't believe that our

260
00:07:50,007 --> 00:07:54,048
last Groovapalooza was,

261
00:07:54,173 --> 00:07:55,173
what, 12 years ago?

262
00:07:55,256 --> 00:07:56,840
I mean, time is

263
00:07:55,256 --> 00:07:56,840
going by so fast.

264
00:07:56,965 --> 00:07:59,881
I know, it's crazy.

265
00:08:00,173 --> 00:08:02,507
In, like, an eye blink,

266
00:08:02,631 --> 00:08:05,965
this hand will be, like,

267
00:08:02,631 --> 00:08:05,965
an old man's hand.

268
00:08:06,173 --> 00:08:09,923
I recognize the clichéd nature

269
00:08:06,173 --> 00:08:09,923
of what I'm about to say,

270
00:08:10,048 --> 00:08:12,798
but... whoa!

271
00:08:12,923 --> 00:08:14,007
Yeah.

272
00:08:14,173 --> 00:08:15,798
312?

273
00:08:15,923 --> 00:08:18,381
That's our gate.

274
00:08:18,507 --> 00:08:21,507
Dude, we just walked around

275
00:08:18,507 --> 00:08:21,507
the entire arena.

276
00:08:21,631 --> 00:08:23,507
We've been walking

277
00:08:21,631 --> 00:08:23,507
for, like, an hour

278
00:08:23,631 --> 00:08:25,173
and we still haven't

279
00:08:23,631 --> 00:08:25,173
found the nachos.

280
00:08:25,256 --> 00:08:27,589
I bet Lily

281
00:08:25,256 --> 00:08:27,589
is so upset.

282
00:08:27,714 --> 00:08:31,173
Yo, you want

283
00:08:27,714 --> 00:08:31,173
my nachos, bro?

284
00:08:31,298 --> 00:08:33,298
Thank you.

285
00:08:33,423 --> 00:08:35,798
My husband's been gone an hour

286
00:08:33,423 --> 00:08:35,798
looking for these.

287
00:08:35,923 --> 00:08:40,214
If he can't even do that,

288
00:08:35,923 --> 00:08:40,214
how can I trust him as a father?

289
00:08:40,340 --> 00:08:43,007
You can't, bro.

290
00:08:40,340 --> 00:08:43,007
You can't.

291
00:08:43,173 --> 00:08:46,298
I like your long goatee.

292
00:08:46,423 --> 00:08:48,173
Marshall can't even

293
00:08:46,423 --> 00:08:48,173
grow a beard.

294
00:08:48,298 --> 00:08:49,756
Oh, that's sad.

295
00:08:49,881 --> 00:08:52,965
'Cause one's ability to grow

296
00:08:49,881 --> 00:08:52,965
facial hair directly correlates

297
00:08:53,173 --> 00:08:54,840
with one's ability

298
00:08:53,173 --> 00:08:54,840
to be a good father.

299
00:08:54,965 --> 00:08:59,048
I know it does.

300
00:08:54,965 --> 00:08:59,048
I know it does.

301
00:09:04,507 --> 00:09:05,007
Oh.

302
00:09:05,173 --> 00:09:07,214
Excuse me, sir.

303
00:09:07,340 --> 00:09:08,923
Do you know

304
00:09:07,340 --> 00:09:08,923
where the nachos are?

305
00:09:12,965 --> 00:09:14,673
Marshall!

306
00:09:14,798 --> 00:09:16,589
Over here.

307
00:09:14,798 --> 00:09:16,589
I found the nacho line.

308
00:09:16,714 --> 00:09:18,714
Oh.

309
00:09:23,048 --> 00:09:24,340
So, h-how'd it go with Kevin?

310
00:09:24,465 --> 00:09:25,923
Well, I was just about

311
00:09:24,465 --> 00:09:25,923
to tell him...

312
00:09:26,048 --> 00:09:28,256
Look, Kevin...

313
00:09:28,381 --> 00:09:29,881
Erika, I've been meaning

314
00:09:28,381 --> 00:09:29,881
to speak with you all night.

315
00:09:30,007 --> 00:09:32,173
Really?

316
00:09:30,007 --> 00:09:32,173
What about?

317
00:09:32,256 --> 00:09:34,547
About me bending your hard

318
00:09:32,256 --> 00:09:34,547
little body over the railing

319
00:09:34,673 --> 00:09:36,673
of this boat

320
00:09:34,673 --> 00:09:36,673
and copulating furiously

321
00:09:36,798 --> 00:09:39,340
while I admire

322
00:09:36,798 --> 00:09:39,340
the New York City skyline.

323
00:09:39,465 --> 00:09:42,465
Or, if you're feeling dirty,

324
00:09:39,465 --> 00:09:42,465
we can always face Jersey.

325
00:09:42,589 --> 00:09:43,798
Thoughts?

326
00:09:45,423 --> 00:09:47,423
Jalapeno!

327
00:09:47,547 --> 00:09:49,214
And just a hint of coconut.

328
00:09:52,214 --> 00:09:54,589
Kevin hit his head,

329
00:09:52,214 --> 00:09:54,589
he might have a concussion.

330
00:09:54,714 --> 00:09:57,298
So obviously

331
00:09:54,714 --> 00:09:57,298
I couldn't tell him.

332
00:09:57,423 --> 00:09:58,589
What about you?

333
00:09:58,714 --> 00:10:01,131
Something even worse

334
00:09:58,714 --> 00:10:01,131
happened to her.

335
00:10:01,256 --> 00:10:04,256
I got a tiny spot of wine

336
00:10:01,256 --> 00:10:04,256
on my sleeve.

337
00:10:06,798 --> 00:10:08,673
I couldn't pile on.

338
00:10:08,798 --> 00:10:10,465
I'm not a monster.

339
00:10:11,423 --> 00:10:12,631
Where are they?

340
00:10:12,756 --> 00:10:13,965
Come on, forget

341
00:10:12,756 --> 00:10:13,965
the nachos.

342
00:10:14,089 --> 00:10:17,131
Everyone here

343
00:10:14,089 --> 00:10:17,131
is having fun.

344
00:10:17,256 --> 00:10:19,048
Look, even these guys.

345
00:10:19,173 --> 00:10:20,298
Check it out.

346
00:10:20,423 --> 00:10:24,840
Wow, music really does

347
00:10:20,423 --> 00:10:24,840
bring people together.

348
00:10:24,965 --> 00:10:27,048
Ted? Ted!

349
00:10:27,173 --> 00:10:29,256
Creepy guitar guy

350
00:10:27,173 --> 00:10:29,256
is following us.

351
00:10:36,965 --> 00:10:38,423
We did a whole nother lap.

352
00:10:38,547 --> 00:10:39,965
Oh, man, we missed, like,

353
00:10:38,547 --> 00:10:39,965
half the concert now.

354
00:10:40,089 --> 00:10:43,131
Come on, let's just go

355
00:10:40,089 --> 00:10:43,131
back to our seats.

356
00:10:40,089 --> 00:10:43,131
Ted, Ted, Ted.

357
00:10:43,256 --> 00:10:44,881
The nacho line

358
00:10:43,256 --> 00:10:44,881
was right here all along.

359
00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:48,840
So stupid.

360
00:10:48,965 --> 00:10:52,714
As soon as we dock,

361
00:10:48,965 --> 00:10:52,714
I'm taking Kevin to the E.R.

362
00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:56,506
God, I wish last night

363
00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:56,506
never happened.

364
00:10:58,923 --> 00:10:59,881
I don't.

365
00:11:00,007 --> 00:11:03,298
What do you mean?

366
00:11:03,423 --> 00:11:04,881
What if this whole thing,

367
00:11:05,007 --> 00:11:08,506
it isn't the story of how we

368
00:11:05,007 --> 00:11:08,506
both made a horrible mistake

369
00:11:08,631 --> 00:11:10,298
and ruined our relationships,

370
00:11:10,422 --> 00:11:15,589
what if it's actually the story

371
00:11:10,422 --> 00:11:15,589
of how we got back together?

372
00:11:15,714 --> 00:11:18,589
Okay, I'm gonna ask you

373
00:11:15,714 --> 00:11:18,589
one last time.

374
00:11:18,714 --> 00:11:19,965
Is this what you want?

375
00:11:20,173 --> 00:11:22,506
It's what we both want!

376
00:11:22,631 --> 00:11:25,422
Why else are we rushing

377
00:11:22,631 --> 00:11:25,422
to tell them what we did?

378
00:11:25,547 --> 00:11:27,923
On a boat!

379
00:11:25,547 --> 00:11:27,923
That is a terrible idea!

380
00:11:28,048 --> 00:11:29,840
Barney, we tried this

381
00:11:28,048 --> 00:11:29,840
and we failed.

382
00:11:29,965 --> 00:11:32,464
Why try again?

383
00:11:32,589 --> 00:11:34,506
Because I haven't stopped

384
00:11:32,589 --> 00:11:34,506
thinking about you

385
00:11:34,631 --> 00:11:36,631
and you haven't stopped

386
00:11:34,631 --> 00:11:36,631
thinking about me.

387
00:11:39,173 --> 00:11:39,840
I'm such a mess.

388
00:11:39,965 --> 00:11:42,381
Why...

389
00:11:42,506 --> 00:11:44,547
Why do you even like me?

390
00:11:47,506 --> 00:11:49,173
I guess...

391
00:11:49,298 --> 00:11:53,173
'cause you're almost

392
00:11:49,298 --> 00:11:53,173
as messed up as I am.

393
00:11:56,923 --> 00:11:59,380
Well, there's the small issue

394
00:11:59,506 --> 00:12:01,422
that we're currently dating

395
00:11:59,506 --> 00:12:01,422
other people.

396
00:12:01,547 --> 00:12:03,589
How about this?

397
00:12:03,714 --> 00:12:08,840
After we dock, let's each do

398
00:12:03,714 --> 00:12:08,840
what we have to do,

399
00:12:08,965 --> 00:12:13,298
and then meet up at MacLaren's

400
00:12:08,965 --> 00:12:13,298
at midnight and...

401
00:12:13,422 --> 00:12:15,631
talk about us.

402
00:12:18,380 --> 00:12:22,756
Don't forget

403
00:12:18,380 --> 00:12:22,756
your mystery gift bags!

404
00:12:22,881 --> 00:12:24,673
They're condoms.

405
00:12:26,714 --> 00:12:29,007
We just went all the way

406
00:12:26,714 --> 00:12:29,007
around again!

407
00:12:29,173 --> 00:12:30,298
Where the hell

408
00:12:29,173 --> 00:12:30,298
are these nachos?

409
00:12:30,422 --> 00:12:31,840
Who cares

410
00:12:30,422 --> 00:12:31,840
about nachos?

411
00:12:31,965 --> 00:12:33,214
Oh, I love nachos, man!

412
00:12:33,339 --> 00:12:34,506
You gotta relax, man.

413
00:12:34,631 --> 00:12:37,756
You keep worrying about stuff

414
00:12:34,631 --> 00:12:37,756
like nachos,

415
00:12:37,881 --> 00:12:39,547
you're gonna give yourself

416
00:12:37,881 --> 00:12:39,547
a heart attack.

417
00:12:40,547 --> 00:12:42,380
I'm going back in.

418
00:12:40,547 --> 00:12:42,380
Fine!

419
00:12:42,506 --> 00:12:45,422
Ha! Joke's on you!

420
00:12:45,547 --> 00:12:48,048
The nacho line was right here

421
00:12:45,547 --> 00:12:48,048
all along!

422
00:12:54,547 --> 00:12:56,673
Robin and Barney

423
00:12:54,547 --> 00:12:56,673
were about to discover

424
00:12:56,798 --> 00:12:58,380
there were at least

425
00:12:56,798 --> 00:12:58,380
two worst moments

426
00:12:58,506 --> 00:12:59,798
to break up

427
00:12:58,506 --> 00:12:59,798
with someone than on a boat.

428
00:12:59,923 --> 00:13:02,506
Kevin...

429
00:12:59,923 --> 00:13:02,506
Me first.

430
00:13:02,631 --> 00:13:04,631
Look, I don't want

431
00:13:02,631 --> 00:13:04,631
to make too much out

432
00:13:04,756 --> 00:13:05,840
of saying "I love you"

433
00:13:04,756 --> 00:13:05,840
for the first time...

434
00:13:05,965 --> 00:13:08,339
Any way I can jump in

435
00:13:05,965 --> 00:13:08,339
with my thing?

436
00:13:08,464 --> 00:13:11,756
Robin... I love you.

437
00:13:12,007 --> 00:13:14,547
Okay, Nora, look...

438
00:13:14,673 --> 00:13:15,965
Mom! Dad!

439
00:13:16,173 --> 00:13:18,923
Hi, Nora, we

440
00:13:16,173 --> 00:13:18,923
got in early!

441
00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:23,339
Should've done it on the boat.

442
00:13:30,547 --> 00:13:31,339
Ah!

443
00:13:31,464 --> 00:13:33,048
Hey, where's your friend?

444
00:13:33,173 --> 00:13:38,048
We missed almost the entire show

445
00:13:33,173 --> 00:13:38,048
because he put his stupid quest

446
00:13:38,173 --> 00:13:40,714
for nachos ahead of our

447
00:13:38,173 --> 00:13:40,714
friendship, so I bolted.

448
00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:43,673
Well, I'm just a creepy old

449
00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:43,673
guitar player,

450
00:13:43,798 --> 00:13:46,673
but isn't any time spent

451
00:13:43,798 --> 00:13:46,673
with a friend a blessing?

452
00:13:46,798 --> 00:13:49,297
And if nachos is all you seek...

453
00:13:49,422 --> 00:13:51,631
take mine, brother.

454
00:13:51,756 --> 00:13:52,965
Wow!

455
00:13:53,173 --> 00:13:55,255
Thank you.

456
00:13:55,380 --> 00:13:57,756
It's a sign, bro.

457
00:13:57,881 --> 00:13:58,923
It is.

458
00:13:59,048 --> 00:14:00,965
It's a sign

459
00:13:59,048 --> 00:14:00,965
I should go find Marshall!

460
00:14:02,881 --> 00:14:04,339
Marshall! Marshall!

461
00:14:07,673 --> 00:14:11,173
So, Barney, Nora's told us

462
00:14:07,673 --> 00:14:11,173
so much about you,

463
00:14:11,297 --> 00:14:14,173
but we want to know everything.

464
00:14:14,297 --> 00:14:15,547
Ah, let's see, suits,

465
00:14:14,297 --> 00:14:15,547
laser tag,

466
00:14:15,673 --> 00:14:17,297
I say "wait for it" a lot.

467
00:14:15,673 --> 00:14:17,297
That's about it.

468
00:14:17,422 --> 00:14:18,506
You two must be exhausted.

469
00:14:18,631 --> 00:14:19,589
I'll make coffee.

470
00:14:21,173 --> 00:14:23,255
I'm so glad to see how happy

471
00:14:21,173 --> 00:14:23,255
you both are.

472
00:14:23,380 --> 00:14:26,464
When you meet

473
00:14:23,380 --> 00:14:26,464
the right person,

474
00:14:26,589 --> 00:14:27,923
you know it.

475
00:14:28,048 --> 00:14:29,881
You can't stop

476
00:14:28,048 --> 00:14:29,881
thinking about them.

477
00:14:33,380 --> 00:14:33,923
They're your best friend...

478
00:14:36,714 --> 00:14:39,631
and your soul mate.

479
00:14:39,756 --> 00:14:41,965
You can't wait to spend the

480
00:14:39,756 --> 00:14:41,965
rest of your life with them.

481
00:14:42,173 --> 00:14:46,631
No one and nothing else

482
00:14:42,173 --> 00:14:46,631
can compare.

483
00:14:46,756 --> 00:14:49,923
Now, where the hell

484
00:14:46,756 --> 00:14:49,923
is that coffee, eh?

485
00:14:53,965 --> 00:14:57,007
Look, Nora, there's something

486
00:14:53,965 --> 00:14:57,007
I have to tell you.

487
00:15:04,714 --> 00:15:06,297
Heart attack.

488
00:15:06,422 --> 00:15:08,297
Oh, God, Ted was right.

489
00:15:06,422 --> 00:15:08,297
I have to relax!

490
00:15:08,422 --> 00:15:09,422
Ted!

491
00:15:09,547 --> 00:15:10,881
Marshall!

492
00:15:09,547 --> 00:15:10,881
Ted?

493
00:15:11,007 --> 00:15:12,673
Ted!

494
00:15:11,007 --> 00:15:12,673
Marshall!

495
00:15:12,798 --> 00:15:13,923
Oh, Ted! Oh, Ted!

496
00:15:14,048 --> 00:15:16,297
I'm so sorry! You were right.

497
00:15:16,422 --> 00:15:17,798
No, Marshall, you...

498
00:15:16,422 --> 00:15:17,798
Yeah, I was right.

499
00:15:17,923 --> 00:15:19,923
But look, nachos!

500
00:15:21,673 --> 00:15:23,673
Come on. Let's

501
00:15:21,673 --> 00:15:23,673
go back inside.

502
00:15:25,339 --> 00:15:26,923
That's it.

503
00:15:27,048 --> 00:15:27,923
It's over.

504
00:15:28,048 --> 00:15:31,297
We missed the whole show.

505
00:15:33,048 --> 00:15:35,339
So...

506
00:15:35,464 --> 00:15:37,923
yup, I love you.

507
00:15:38,048 --> 00:15:40,631
Look, Kevin...

508
00:15:40,756 --> 00:15:43,923
there's something

509
00:15:40,756 --> 00:15:43,923
I have to tell you.

510
00:15:44,048 --> 00:15:45,339
I cheated on you.

511
00:15:46,048 --> 00:15:50,631
I don't even know

512
00:15:46,048 --> 00:15:50,631
how to react.

513
00:15:50,756 --> 00:15:52,756
I am so sorry.

514
00:15:53,048 --> 00:15:55,923
I know I don't get

515
00:15:53,048 --> 00:15:55,923
any second chances,

516
00:15:56,048 --> 00:16:00,380
but you will always be...

517
00:16:00,506 --> 00:16:02,756
Was this a one-time thing?

518
00:16:04,048 --> 00:16:07,881
Can you tell me

519
00:16:04,048 --> 00:16:07,881
it didn't mean anything?

520
00:16:08,965 --> 00:16:11,756
No.

521
00:16:21,673 --> 00:16:24,007
I'm sorry, Ted.

522
00:16:24,172 --> 00:16:26,589
I still want to have fun,

523
00:16:26,714 --> 00:16:29,339
it's just, I have to be a

524
00:16:26,714 --> 00:16:29,339
good husband and father, too.

525
00:16:29,464 --> 00:16:31,007
There's just not

526
00:16:29,464 --> 00:16:31,007
enough time, you know?

527
00:16:31,172 --> 00:16:32,007
I know.

528
00:16:32,172 --> 00:16:34,673
It's all going by

529
00:16:32,172 --> 00:16:34,673
so damn fast.

530
00:16:34,798 --> 00:16:36,422
We're getting old.

531
00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:38,297
Lily!

532
00:16:38,422 --> 00:16:41,756
Hey! Oh, Lily,

533
00:16:38,422 --> 00:16:41,756
I'm so sorry

534
00:16:41,881 --> 00:16:44,172
that we ruined our night.

535
00:16:41,881 --> 00:16:44,172
Yeah.

536
00:16:44,297 --> 00:16:45,714
What are you guys talking about?

537
00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:47,714
You've been gone less

538
00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:47,714
than two minutes.

539
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,172
Kids, she was right.

540
00:16:52,965 --> 00:16:55,297
My hand.

541
00:16:55,422 --> 00:16:57,172
Whoa!

542
00:16:57,213 --> 00:16:58,589
Ah! Concert!

543
00:16:58,714 --> 00:17:00,297
Nachos! Ah!

544
00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:04,380
Music!

545
00:17:10,213 --> 00:17:11,714
Time!

546
00:17:10,213 --> 00:17:11,714
Nachos!

547
00:17:14,798 --> 00:17:15,756
Thank you!

548
00:17:15,881 --> 00:17:18,339
It's a sign, bro.

549
00:17:18,464 --> 00:17:19,923
Oh, oh...

550
00:17:20,048 --> 00:17:23,506
Heart attack!

551
00:17:20,048 --> 00:17:23,506
Marshall!

552
00:17:23,631 --> 00:17:25,881
Marshall! Oh!

553
00:17:23,631 --> 00:17:25,881
Ted! Ted!

554
00:17:26,007 --> 00:17:28,756
Time...

555
00:17:32,756 --> 00:17:35,798
Lily!

556
00:17:35,923 --> 00:17:38,213
Marshall, do you get

557
00:17:35,923 --> 00:17:38,213
what this means?

558
00:17:38,339 --> 00:17:39,339
Life isn't moving

559
00:17:38,339 --> 00:17:39,339
too fast.

560
00:17:39,464 --> 00:17:41,756
We-we still have time

561
00:17:39,464 --> 00:17:41,756
for everything!

562
00:17:41,881 --> 00:17:43,422
And we're not gonna miss

563
00:17:41,881 --> 00:17:43,422
the concert!

564
00:17:44,965 --> 00:17:46,297
I'm freaking out right now.

565
00:17:46,422 --> 00:17:48,923
We gotta get out

566
00:17:46,422 --> 00:17:48,923
of here.

567
00:17:46,422 --> 00:17:48,923
Yeah.

568
00:17:49,047 --> 00:17:51,422
Do you guys know where

569
00:17:49,047 --> 00:17:51,422
the ladies' room is?

570
00:17:51,547 --> 00:17:53,881
No idea.

571
00:17:51,547 --> 00:17:53,881
Haven't seen it.

572
00:17:56,589 --> 00:17:58,840
Hey! How's it going?

573
00:17:58,965 --> 00:18:00,840
Oh, not great.

574
00:17:58,965 --> 00:18:00,840
Nora and I broke up.

575
00:18:00,965 --> 00:18:02,923
Oh, my God, what happened?

576
00:18:03,047 --> 00:18:05,965
I don't really feel like getting

577
00:18:03,047 --> 00:18:05,965
into it, but...

578
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:08,798
I think the worst part is over.

579
00:18:12,172 --> 00:18:14,172
Hey.

580
00:18:12,172 --> 00:18:14,172
Hey.

581
00:18:14,297 --> 00:18:15,631
Hey, Kev.

582
00:18:14,297 --> 00:18:15,631
What's up, Kev?

583
00:18:15,756 --> 00:18:16,798
How's it going, buddy?

584
00:18:16,923 --> 00:18:18,172
Hey, guys.

585
00:18:18,213 --> 00:18:20,297
There's something

586
00:18:18,213 --> 00:18:20,297
I have to tell you.

587
00:18:20,422 --> 00:18:21,547
Then don't.

588
00:18:21,673 --> 00:18:23,172
What?

589
00:18:23,213 --> 00:18:25,464
If there's one thing I've

590
00:18:23,213 --> 00:18:25,464
learned as a therapist,

591
00:18:25,589 --> 00:18:29,297
it's that just because something

592
00:18:25,589 --> 00:18:29,297
needs to be told

593
00:18:29,422 --> 00:18:31,714
doesn't always mean

594
00:18:29,422 --> 00:18:31,714
it needs to be heard.

595
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:35,714
Kevin, I did something bad.

596
00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:36,923
We've all done bad things.

597
00:18:37,047 --> 00:18:38,923
Doesn't mean we're bad people.

598
00:18:40,965 --> 00:18:42,172
Look, I don't care

599
00:18:42,213 --> 00:18:43,840
about every detail

600
00:18:42,213 --> 00:18:43,840
from your past,

601
00:18:43,965 --> 00:18:46,047
and I hope you don't care

602
00:18:43,965 --> 00:18:46,047
about mine either.

603
00:18:46,172 --> 00:18:47,881
What I do care about is you,

604
00:18:48,006 --> 00:18:53,798
and that from tonight forward,

605
00:18:48,006 --> 00:18:53,798
you're in this as much as I am.

606
00:18:55,422 --> 00:18:56,840
What do you think?

607
00:18:56,964 --> 00:19:00,840
I'm such a mess.

608
00:19:02,756 --> 00:19:05,297
Why do you even like me?

609
00:19:05,422 --> 00:19:06,464
Come here.

610
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:11,840
I am constantly amazed

611
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:11,840
by the things you say,

612
00:19:11,964 --> 00:19:13,964
entranced by the things you do,

613
00:19:14,172 --> 00:19:19,547
and unlike a certain Jalapeno

614
00:19:14,172 --> 00:19:19,547
Coconut Vodka martini,

615
00:19:19,673 --> 00:19:21,881
you're easy on the eyes.

616
00:19:23,506 --> 00:19:25,339
And if we're together

617
00:19:23,506 --> 00:19:25,339
long enough,

618
00:19:25,464 --> 00:19:29,714
I hope that one day you see

619
00:19:25,464 --> 00:19:29,714
yourself the way I see you.

620
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,964
That's a pretty good answer.

621
00:19:36,172 --> 00:19:38,631
Sometimes hours can feel

622
00:19:36,172 --> 00:19:38,631
like minutes

623
00:19:38,756 --> 00:19:42,422
and sometimes a single second

624
00:19:38,756 --> 00:19:42,422
can last a lifetime.

625
00:19:42,547 --> 00:19:47,172
For Barney, the second that

626
00:19:42,547 --> 00:19:47,172
would never end was this one.

627
00:20:04,964 --> 00:20:07,631
Well, um, I should go.

628
00:20:07,756 --> 00:20:09,714
Tough night.

629
00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:10,547
I'm so sorry.

630
00:20:10,673 --> 00:20:12,798
Don't be. It's nothing.

631
00:20:15,964 --> 00:20:17,422
It feels good to be sober again.

632
00:20:17,547 --> 00:20:21,213
But, man, how long have we been

633
00:20:17,547 --> 00:20:21,213
sitting here, right?

634
00:20:21,339 --> 00:20:23,339
12 seconds and you're

635
00:20:21,339 --> 00:20:23,339
in the wrong booth.

636
00:20:30,172 --> 00:20:31,047
I should go to bed.