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Kids, this is the story

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00:00:03,152 --> 00:00:05,154
of a wedding day

3
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that went horribly wrong.

4
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Ted, the bride wants to see you.

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Uncle Barney

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was getting married.

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How the hell did we get there?

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I love the name Marvin.

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Marv.

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Sounds like a little

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middle-aged man.

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Golf next

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weekend, Marv?

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How's that tax report

15
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coming, Marv?

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At your age,

17
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erectile dysfunction

18
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is nothing to be

19
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ashamed of, Marv.

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It was a beautiful moment.

21
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But then a thought popped

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into my head, kids.

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The same thought that will pop

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into your heads

25
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the first time you see your

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best friend holding their baby.

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Wonder how much this would hurt.

28
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That guy's a dad.

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Oh, I think he's hungry.

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Oh, we'll give

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you some privacy.

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Wow. Seeing them in there

33
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all together like that,

34
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they're a family,

35
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you know?

36
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That's what I want.

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Oh, Ted, I'm glad

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we're friends again.

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Me, too.

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Because as your friend,

41
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I have to tell you:

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You're full of crap!

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You say you want a family,

44
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you say

45
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you want to meet "The One,"

46
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but you are always chasing

47
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the wrong women.

48
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That is not true.

49
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Look at the women you date,

50
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starting with me:

51
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I told you right away

52
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I didn't want marriage or kids.

53
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Stella had a child with another

54
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man who she still loved.

55
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Zoey was married and trying

56
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to sabotage your career

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and wore a lot of stupid hats.

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Hats were in that year, kind of.

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Name one exception.

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Victoria.

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Victoria was great.

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Exactly,

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and you threw it all away

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to chase after some hot piece

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of ass.

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You mean you?

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Thank you!

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Victoria is the only

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woman you've dated

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who could've been "The One."

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You should call her.

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Tiny thing, last time I saw her,

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she was getting engaged.

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That was eight months ago.

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For all you know,

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she's single again.

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What if she's married?

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What if she's not?

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Then you would actually

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have a chance

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to get what you say you want,

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and it terrifies you.

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Whoa.

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What's wrong?

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I ruined things with Quinn.

86
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I insisted she stop stripping,

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we got in a huge fight about it,

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then I ran off to Atlantic City

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for two days without calling.

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What the hell

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am I coming home to?

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Let's have an eight-way with

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my six hottest stripper friends.

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Um, how is that a punishment?

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Wait for it.

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But I forbid you from filming it

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with your overhead camera

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that zooms in

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on whoever's being the loudest.

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Nooooo!

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No, that's too cruel.

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Or, you know,

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maybe Quinn's moved out.

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I didn't even think of that!

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Welcome home.

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I decided the place was a bit

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too "American Psycho" for me,

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so while you were gone,

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I hired a decorator

110
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and I asked him,

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"What would the inside

112
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of Tinkerbell's vagina

113
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look like?"

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And the kid just ran with it!

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So... what do you think?

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Thank God you're still here!

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Welcome home.

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Lily and Marshall asked Robin

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to be the photographer

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for Baby Marvin's

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Birth Announcement card

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instead of me.

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Whatever.

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The only problem?

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Okay. How about this?

126
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Tomorrow, we go

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to Central Park at sunset

128
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and we get the perfect picture

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in the perfect setting.

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Oh, I like that.

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It'll be Marvin's first

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outing into the world.

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You're gonna love

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the park, buddy.

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It's a great place

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to meet chicks.

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Or-or dudes.

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Or both.

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Oh, we love you

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no matter what!

141
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And kids, as I watched your

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Aunt Lily hold her baby boy,

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another thought

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popped into my head.

145
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Even though you

146
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didn't buy anything,

147
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I want to thank you

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for coming in.

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Here's a free teddy bear.

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What are you gonna

151
00:04:40,721 --> 00:04:42,598
name the little guy?

152
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Six Pack.

153
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Gun it, bitches!

154
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That girl's a mom!

155
00:04:59,782 --> 00:05:02,493
Okay, so I met this girl

156
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on the train,

157
00:05:02,618 --> 00:05:04,620
and I texted her, "What's up?"

158
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She texted,

159
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"Hey," exclamation point.

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Does that mean,

161
00:05:07,706 --> 00:05:10,126
"Ask me out" or "Just..."

162
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Ted, we are responsible for

163
00:05:10,334 --> 00:05:13,921
a whole other human life now,

164
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so new rule: You can't come

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to us with any issue unless

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it's an "8" or higher.

167
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Got it.

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So I'm thinking of texting

169
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back a winky smiley face.

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Eight or higher, bro.

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Well, no, what should I...

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Eight or higher, bro.

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No, yeah,

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I'm just wondering if...

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Eight or higher, bro.

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Well, where do you rate this?

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This is the same as what's in

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little Marvin's pants right now:

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a soft two.

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Sorry, bro.

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Stop texting the bimbo

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and call Victoria.

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That chapter's over.

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W-We just weren't destined

185
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to be together.

186
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"Destined." Aren't you tired

187
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of waiting for destiny, Ted?

188
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Isn't it time

189
00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:58,465
to make your own destiny?

190
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Hey, false alarm.

191
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What I was smelling was

192
00:06:01,593 --> 00:06:04,263
the previous poop,

193
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which, apparently, is

194
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still somewhere on my

195
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clothes and/or in my hair.

196
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Hold him, would you?

197
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Oh.

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Here.

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00:06:15,399 --> 00:06:16,942
Ooh.

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Yeah, smart.

201
00:06:18,903 --> 00:06:23,407
Oh, sure, that one

202
00:06:18,903 --> 00:06:23,407
turns out great. Ugh.

203
00:06:23,490 --> 00:06:26,160
And then another thought popped

204
00:06:23,490 --> 00:06:26,160
into my head:

205
00:06:26,285 --> 00:06:29,163
That guy's nowhere

206
00:06:26,285 --> 00:06:29,163
near being a dad.

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Hello?

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Hey, Victoria, it's Ted.

209
00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:41,717
Um, listen, I was just wondering

210
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if you wanted to catch up

211
00:06:41,842 --> 00:06:43,928
sometime; it's been a while.

212
00:06:44,053 --> 00:06:46,097
That sounds nice.

213
00:06:46,222 --> 00:06:48,849
I'm actually around

214
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this afternoon.

215
00:06:48,974 --> 00:06:51,852
Oh, wow, uh, great.

216
00:06:51,977 --> 00:06:53,604
MacLaren's at 2:00?

217
00:06:53,729 --> 00:06:55,439
Is 1:30 okay?

218
00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:56,190
I might have a thing later.

219
00:06:56,315 --> 00:06:59,318
Yeah. Yeah. See you then.

220
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See you then.

221
00:07:01,195 --> 00:07:03,030
Meanwhile, Barney

222
00:07:01,195 --> 00:07:03,030
and Quinn were off to Hawaii

223
00:07:03,155 --> 00:07:05,032
for their first getaway

224
00:07:03,155 --> 00:07:05,032
as a couple.

225
00:07:05,157 --> 00:07:08,160
Ma'am, I need you

226
00:07:05,157 --> 00:07:08,160
to open your suitcase.

227
00:07:08,286 --> 00:07:09,661
It's mine.

228
00:07:09,787 --> 00:07:11,289
Did you have

229
00:07:09,787 --> 00:07:11,289
to replace my luggage, too?

230
00:07:11,455 --> 00:07:15,000
Run away on me again, you'll

231
00:07:11,455 --> 00:07:15,000
be wearing hot pink stilettos.

232
00:07:15,126 --> 00:07:17,586
What's that?

233
00:07:17,711 --> 00:07:18,712
Yeah, what is that?

234
00:07:18,837 --> 00:07:20,547
It's a magic trick.

235
00:07:20,672 --> 00:07:22,967
You see, I'm something

236
00:07:20,672 --> 00:07:22,967
of a magician.

237
00:07:23,092 --> 00:07:24,009
Open the box, sir.

238
00:07:24,135 --> 00:07:26,470
Oh, I can't do that.

239
00:07:28,973 --> 00:07:30,474
Sir, are there drugs

240
00:07:28,973 --> 00:07:30,474
in that box?

241
00:07:30,557 --> 00:07:32,559
Oh, no. He's probably

242
00:07:30,557 --> 00:07:32,559
just barking

243
00:07:32,684 --> 00:07:33,311
because of the explosives.

244
00:07:33,477 --> 00:07:36,230
Oh, my God!

245
00:07:36,355 --> 00:07:38,274
Tell us what's

246
00:07:36,355 --> 00:07:38,274
in the box right now!

247
00:07:38,482 --> 00:07:39,691
I can't.

248
00:07:39,817 --> 00:07:41,110
Magician's Code.

249
00:07:43,528 --> 00:07:47,074
Okay, I need to figure out

250
00:07:43,528 --> 00:07:47,074
if Victoria ever got engaged.

251
00:07:47,199 --> 00:07:50,953
I'll have to very subtly

252
00:07:47,199 --> 00:07:50,953
check for an engagement ring.

253
00:07:52,830 --> 00:07:55,707
Hmm, can't see the left hand.

254
00:08:01,797 --> 00:08:02,798
Open the box now!

255
00:08:02,923 --> 00:08:04,216
I can't.

256
00:08:04,342 --> 00:08:05,634
Magician's Code.

257
00:08:05,759 --> 00:08:08,553
What the hell is

258
00:08:05,759 --> 00:08:08,553
the Magician's Code?

259
00:08:08,679 --> 00:08:10,097
"A magician never

260
00:08:08,679 --> 00:08:10,097
reveals his tricks."

261
00:08:10,222 --> 00:08:12,099
Mr. Flanagan, my magic mentor

262
00:08:12,224 --> 00:08:15,686
from the hallowed

263
00:08:12,224 --> 00:08:15,686
Staten Island Mall Magic Shop,

264
00:08:15,811 --> 00:08:17,146
taught me the importance

265
00:08:15,811 --> 00:08:17,146
of the Code

266
00:08:17,271 --> 00:08:19,982
one fateful autumn night

267
00:08:20,107 --> 00:08:21,192
in 1993.

268
00:08:21,317 --> 00:08:24,820
Hello? Mr. Flanagan.

269
00:08:24,945 --> 00:08:27,531
Wh-What are you doing here?

270
00:08:27,572 --> 00:08:30,826
Um...

271
00:08:27,572 --> 00:08:30,826
I'm checking up on you.

272
00:08:30,951 --> 00:08:33,120
Just to make sure

273
00:08:30,951 --> 00:08:33,120
you're practicing your craft

274
00:08:33,245 --> 00:08:35,164
or whatever.

275
00:08:35,289 --> 00:08:38,000
That is an honor, sir.

276
00:08:38,125 --> 00:08:40,544
And yeah, I promise,

277
00:08:38,125 --> 00:08:40,544
I'm practicing.

278
00:08:40,627 --> 00:08:42,004
But wait.

279
00:08:42,129 --> 00:08:43,547
Why were you, why were you

280
00:08:42,129 --> 00:08:43,547
going in my mom's room?

281
00:08:43,672 --> 00:08:47,092
Uh... your mom's actually

282
00:08:43,672 --> 00:08:47,092
helping me with a new trick.

283
00:08:47,218 --> 00:08:48,052
That is so cool!

284
00:08:48,177 --> 00:08:49,261
What is this trick?

285
00:08:49,387 --> 00:08:51,555
Is it sawing a lady in half?

286
00:08:52,639 --> 00:08:53,682
Well, not sawing.

287
00:08:53,807 --> 00:08:54,975
But actually,

288
00:08:55,100 --> 00:08:56,394
the Magician's Code forbids me

289
00:08:56,560 --> 00:08:58,979
from telling you anything else

290
00:08:56,560 --> 00:08:58,979
about the trick.

291
00:08:59,104 --> 00:09:00,689
Wayne, come back to bed!

292
00:09:00,814 --> 00:09:02,607
Okay, it involves a bed.

293
00:09:02,733 --> 00:09:05,694
W-W-Wait. Can

294
00:09:02,733 --> 00:09:05,694
you at least

295
00:09:05,819 --> 00:09:08,280
tell me the name of this trick?

296
00:09:08,406 --> 00:09:09,698
Sure, kid.

297
00:09:09,823 --> 00:09:11,867
It's called...

298
00:09:11,992 --> 00:09:13,952
The Disappearing Salami.

299
00:09:15,162 --> 00:09:17,206
Mr. Flanagan's wife shot him

300
00:09:17,331 --> 00:09:20,209
before he could ever tell me

301
00:09:17,331 --> 00:09:20,209
what the trick was.

302
00:09:20,334 --> 00:09:22,420
Yeah, that guy was

303
00:09:20,334 --> 00:09:22,420
banging your mom.

304
00:09:20,334 --> 00:09:22,420
Yup.

305
00:09:22,586 --> 00:09:23,295
Totally.

306
00:09:23,421 --> 00:09:24,755
Mr. Flanagan was not ban...

307
00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:27,591
Oh, my God, he was.

308
00:09:27,716 --> 00:09:30,928
Wait, why are you bringing

309
00:09:27,716 --> 00:09:30,928
a magic trick to Hawaii anyway?

310
00:09:31,053 --> 00:09:34,473
I was hoping to shoot up

311
00:09:31,053 --> 00:09:34,473
to Honolulu

312
00:09:34,598 --> 00:09:36,434
for the Worldwide

313
00:09:34,598 --> 00:09:36,434
Magic Convention.

314
00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:38,310
Don't worry. You'll

315
00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:38,310
notice I was gone.

316
00:09:38,436 --> 00:09:40,312
It's only three

317
00:09:38,436 --> 00:09:40,312
14-hour days.

318
00:09:40,438 --> 00:09:41,980
So on our romantic getaway

319
00:09:42,106 --> 00:09:43,815
to help me forget about

320
00:09:42,106 --> 00:09:43,815
you skipping town on me,

321
00:09:43,941 --> 00:09:46,485
you're skipping town on me?

322
00:09:46,610 --> 00:09:49,905
Look Quinn, you're

323
00:09:46,610 --> 00:09:49,905
very important to me,

324
00:09:50,030 --> 00:09:55,077
but you're sharing my heart

325
00:09:50,030 --> 00:09:55,077
with an equally important Miss.

326
00:09:55,202 --> 00:09:58,997
Miss...

327
00:09:59,123 --> 00:10:00,999
Direction.

328
00:10:01,125 --> 00:10:02,126
What?

329
00:10:03,585 --> 00:10:04,462
H...

330
00:10:04,586 --> 00:10:06,130
Shoot him.

331
00:10:06,255 --> 00:10:08,715
So what did you order?

332
00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:11,176
Oh, just black coffee.

333
00:10:11,302 --> 00:10:12,552
I like it that way, too.

334
00:10:12,677 --> 00:10:13,971
Yeah, it just tastes

335
00:10:12,677 --> 00:10:13,971
better to me.

336
00:10:14,096 --> 00:10:15,680
I find that if the coffee beans

337
00:10:14,096 --> 00:10:15,680
are good enough,

338
00:10:15,806 --> 00:10:18,517
you really don't need...

339
00:10:15,806 --> 00:10:18,517
Why are you in a wedding dress?

340
00:10:18,642 --> 00:10:21,937
Well, I'm sort of supposed to...

341
00:10:22,062 --> 00:10:24,689
get married today.

342
00:10:24,815 --> 00:10:26,358
All your friends and family

343
00:10:24,815 --> 00:10:26,358
are waiting for you

344
00:10:26,484 --> 00:10:27,776
in some church right now?

345
00:10:27,901 --> 00:10:31,238
Well, not all; we had

346
00:10:27,901 --> 00:10:31,238
five last-minute no-shows.

347
00:10:31,363 --> 00:10:32,656
Well... six.

348
00:10:33,907 --> 00:10:35,534
Mazel tov, Ted.

349
00:10:35,659 --> 00:10:37,911
I was starting to think

350
00:10:35,659 --> 00:10:37,911
this would never happen.

351
00:10:38,036 --> 00:10:39,121
Oh, no, Mrs. Matsen...

352
00:10:39,246 --> 00:10:40,872
MRS.I told

353
00:10:39,246 --> 00:10:40,872
you he wasn't gay.

354
00:10:40,998 --> 00:10:42,249
Wait, what?

355
00:10:42,374 --> 00:10:43,708
I was tempted

356
00:10:42,374 --> 00:10:43,708
to leave Klaus

357
00:10:43,834 --> 00:10:45,169
for you last fall.

358
00:10:45,294 --> 00:10:48,630
The only thing holding me back

359
00:10:45,294 --> 00:10:48,630
was the Robin of it all.

360
00:10:48,755 --> 00:10:50,715
I know, and you were right,

361
00:10:48,755 --> 00:10:50,715
but... but that's all over now.

362
00:10:50,841 --> 00:10:55,012
She moved out... I mean, we're

363
00:10:50,841 --> 00:10:55,012
still friends, but that's over.

364
00:10:55,137 --> 00:10:57,931
All these years, I never stopped

365
00:10:55,137 --> 00:10:57,931
thinking about you, Ted.

366
00:10:59,933 --> 00:11:01,977
I've got a car outside

367
00:11:02,102 --> 00:11:05,481
if you're ready to drive off

368
00:11:02,102 --> 00:11:05,481
into the sunset together.

369
00:11:07,024 --> 00:11:10,194
But if you don't feel

370
00:11:07,024 --> 00:11:10,194
the same way,

371
00:11:10,319 --> 00:11:13,155
if you've closed the door on us,

372
00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:14,823
just say the word...

373
00:11:14,948 --> 00:11:16,367
and I'll go.

374
00:11:18,035 --> 00:11:19,370
Barney, tell them the trick.

375
00:11:19,495 --> 00:11:21,872
The only person I could possibly

376
00:11:19,495 --> 00:11:21,872
reveal the trick to

377
00:11:21,997 --> 00:11:22,914
is another magician.

378
00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:26,544
Well, I'm a magician.

379
00:11:26,710 --> 00:11:28,170
Prove it.

380
00:11:33,884 --> 00:11:34,843
Whoo-hoo!

381
00:11:45,521 --> 00:11:46,813
That's Barney's version.

382
00:11:46,938 --> 00:11:48,065
Quinn said it was

383
00:11:46,938 --> 00:11:48,065
a simple card trick.

384
00:11:48,190 --> 00:11:51,402
Who's to say which

385
00:11:48,190 --> 00:11:51,402
version was true?

386
00:11:51,527 --> 00:11:52,903
Quinn's.

387
00:11:51,527 --> 00:11:52,903
Quinn's version was true.

388
00:11:54,946 --> 00:11:56,240
Okay.

389
00:11:56,365 --> 00:11:58,367
I'll tell you.

390
00:12:00,744 --> 00:12:03,205
Oh, that's really cool.

391
00:12:04,331 --> 00:12:06,041
So what's the trick?

392
00:12:06,166 --> 00:12:07,959
I can't say.

393
00:12:06,166 --> 00:12:07,959
Magician's Code.

394
00:12:09,002 --> 00:12:10,921
Ta-da...

395
00:12:11,046 --> 00:12:13,257
da-da-da-da-da-da.

396
00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:16,301
Hello.

397
00:12:16,427 --> 00:12:18,803
Why did you make me

398
00:12:16,427 --> 00:12:18,803
call Victoria?

399
00:12:18,929 --> 00:12:20,598
She's here in a wedding dress.

400
00:12:20,764 --> 00:12:21,973
I'm the verge of

401
00:12:20,764 --> 00:12:21,973
ruining a wedding!

402
00:12:22,099 --> 00:12:24,268
And Mrs. Madsen's friend

403
00:12:22,099 --> 00:12:24,268
thinks I'm gay,

404
00:12:24,393 --> 00:12:25,603
but let's put a pin

405
00:12:24,393 --> 00:12:25,603
in that till later.

406
00:12:25,769 --> 00:12:27,812
Oh, my God.

407
00:12:25,769 --> 00:12:27,812
Victoria's at the bar with Ted.

408
00:12:27,938 --> 00:12:29,481
That's a seven.

409
00:12:29,607 --> 00:12:30,899
And she's in a wedding dress.

410
00:12:31,942 --> 00:12:32,901
That's a ten.

411
00:12:33,026 --> 00:12:35,028
We got a ten!

412
00:12:36,488 --> 00:12:38,532
What are you gonna do?

413
00:12:36,488 --> 00:12:38,532
Where is she right now?

414
00:12:38,657 --> 00:12:39,908
So this dress, what's the cut?

415
00:12:40,033 --> 00:12:42,077
Are we talking princess,

416
00:12:40,033 --> 00:12:42,077
ball gown, column?

417
00:12:42,202 --> 00:12:45,789
Right, 'cause it's a federal

418
00:12:42,202 --> 00:12:45,789
crime to love weddings.

419
00:12:45,830 --> 00:12:47,040
She's in the bathroom,

420
00:12:45,830 --> 00:12:47,040
which I guess

421
00:12:47,165 --> 00:12:48,792
takes forever with that

422
00:12:47,165 --> 00:12:48,792
giant poufy skirt thing.

423
00:12:48,917 --> 00:12:51,962
Ball gown. Thank you.

424
00:12:52,087 --> 00:12:53,088
Four shots of tequila.

425
00:12:53,213 --> 00:12:54,590
Ted, calm down.

426
00:12:54,798 --> 00:12:56,467
Or not. This is your chance

427
00:12:54,798 --> 00:12:56,467
to get the one who got away.

428
00:12:56,592 --> 00:12:57,842
You want her,

429
00:12:56,592 --> 00:12:57,842
she wants you,

430
00:12:57,968 --> 00:12:59,386
what's the problem?

431
00:12:59,511 --> 00:13:01,972
The problem is Victoria's in

432
00:12:59,511 --> 00:13:01,972
the middle of a giant freak-out.

433
00:13:02,097 --> 00:13:03,974
What if she winds up

434
00:13:02,097 --> 00:13:03,974
regretting this decision?

435
00:13:04,099 --> 00:13:06,059
She's going after Ted Mosby.

436
00:13:06,184 --> 00:13:08,270
That's the best decision

437
00:13:06,184 --> 00:13:08,270
she's ever made.

438
00:13:08,395 --> 00:13:09,938
There you go.

439
00:13:15,486 --> 00:13:17,696
Whoa. What was that?

440
00:13:15,486 --> 00:13:17,696
What?

441
00:13:17,821 --> 00:13:19,072
You said you wanted a picture

442
00:13:17,821 --> 00:13:19,072
of Baby Marvin's first outing.

443
00:13:20,115 --> 00:13:23,494
Our baby's first outing

444
00:13:23,619 --> 00:13:23,952
was to a bar.

445
00:13:25,287 --> 00:13:28,582
I dribbled Cuervo

446
00:13:25,287 --> 00:13:28,582
on Marv's soft spot.

447
00:13:28,707 --> 00:13:29,374
Here she comes! Quick!

448
00:13:29,500 --> 00:13:30,083
Oh, yeah.

449
00:13:30,208 --> 00:13:32,002
Eggshell or cream?

450
00:13:32,127 --> 00:13:34,171
Is it eggshell or cream?

451
00:13:35,005 --> 00:13:36,006
So.

452
00:13:36,131 --> 00:13:40,302
You... me...

453
00:13:36,131 --> 00:13:40,302
riding off into the sunset.

454
00:13:40,427 --> 00:13:41,178
Any thoughts?

455
00:13:42,971 --> 00:13:44,306
One question:

456
00:13:45,390 --> 00:13:46,850
FDR or Westside Highway,

457
00:13:46,933 --> 00:13:48,268
what's the quickest

458
00:13:46,933 --> 00:13:48,268
way to the sunset?

459
00:13:53,106 --> 00:13:55,900
I need to ask you both

460
00:13:53,106 --> 00:13:55,900
a few questions.

461
00:13:56,026 --> 00:13:57,402
Let's start with you.

462
00:13:57,528 --> 00:13:58,403
Name?

463
00:13:58,529 --> 00:13:59,738
Quinn Garvey.

464
00:13:59,863 --> 00:14:00,322
Occupation?

465
00:14:00,447 --> 00:14:02,407
Unemployed.

466
00:14:02,533 --> 00:14:03,867
Well, well, well.

467
00:14:03,950 --> 00:14:05,076
Look who's keeping secrets now.

468
00:14:05,202 --> 00:14:07,538
Sir, I'll tell you her

469
00:14:05,202 --> 00:14:07,538
stripper.

470
00:14:07,663 --> 00:14:09,122
She insists she's proud of it,

471
00:14:09,247 --> 00:14:11,709
but apparently not

472
00:14:09,247 --> 00:14:11,709
proud enough to tell you.

473
00:14:11,875 --> 00:14:15,212
Barney, I was going to surprise

474
00:14:11,875 --> 00:14:15,212
you with this on our trip,

475
00:14:15,337 --> 00:14:17,756
but... I quit.

476
00:14:19,883 --> 00:14:21,051
You... did that for me?

477
00:14:21,176 --> 00:14:23,512
Yes.

478
00:14:23,637 --> 00:14:24,888
And now that you know

479
00:14:23,637 --> 00:14:24,888
what I did for you,

480
00:14:25,013 --> 00:14:27,098
and how much I care for you,

481
00:14:27,224 --> 00:14:30,728
would you please

482
00:14:27,224 --> 00:14:30,728
show him the trick?

483
00:14:35,190 --> 00:14:38,360
Sorry. Magician's Code.

484
00:14:42,906 --> 00:14:44,700
Where should we go?

485
00:14:44,908 --> 00:14:46,076
Your place?

486
00:14:46,201 --> 00:14:47,285
My place?

487
00:14:47,411 --> 00:14:48,704
We could go on my honeymoon.

488
00:14:50,205 --> 00:14:51,081
Just kidding.

489
00:14:51,206 --> 00:14:53,124
Although, it is paid for.

490
00:14:55,168 --> 00:14:56,920
I know where we should go.

491
00:14:55,168 --> 00:14:56,920
Where?

492
00:14:57,045 --> 00:14:57,962
Your wedding.

493
00:14:58,088 --> 00:14:59,047
I'm taking you back.

494
00:15:07,264 --> 00:15:09,974
I don't understand.

495
00:15:10,100 --> 00:15:11,393
I thought you wanted this.

496
00:15:11,518 --> 00:15:12,561
I do want this.

497
00:15:12,686 --> 00:15:15,647
I've thought about you

498
00:15:12,686 --> 00:15:15,647
so many times.

499
00:15:15,773 --> 00:15:18,191
What might have been...

500
00:15:18,316 --> 00:15:21,111
But I got left at the altar,

501
00:15:18,316 --> 00:15:21,111
and it nearly killed me.

502
00:15:22,946 --> 00:15:23,947
You're someone's fiancé,

503
00:15:24,072 --> 00:15:25,949
and I have to respect that.

504
00:15:27,075 --> 00:15:28,619
So let's hit a motel,

505
00:15:27,075 --> 00:15:28,619
jam in a quickie,

506
00:15:28,744 --> 00:15:29,620
and get you back

507
00:15:28,744 --> 00:15:29,620
to your wedding.

508
00:15:30,954 --> 00:15:32,956
It's the right thing to do.

509
00:15:33,081 --> 00:15:35,041
Some part of me

510
00:15:33,081 --> 00:15:35,041
needed to hear you say

511
00:15:35,166 --> 00:15:37,961
that running away together

512
00:15:35,166 --> 00:15:37,961
wasn't an option.

513
00:15:38,044 --> 00:15:40,380
And now that I know that...

514
00:15:40,505 --> 00:15:42,466
it's like I'm sobering up.

515
00:15:45,677 --> 00:15:46,804
Is there any way

516
00:15:46,970 --> 00:15:48,305
that we can just pretend

517
00:15:46,970 --> 00:15:48,305
this never happened?

518
00:15:51,099 --> 00:15:52,434
This never happened.

519
00:15:57,105 --> 00:16:00,567
Mr. Flanagan wasn't

520
00:15:57,105 --> 00:16:00,567
banging my mom.

521
00:16:01,985 --> 00:16:03,278
Well.

522
00:16:03,403 --> 00:16:05,071
Your flight left.

523
00:16:05,196 --> 00:16:08,450
We need to hold Mr. Stinson

524
00:16:05,196 --> 00:16:08,450
for further questioning.

525
00:16:08,575 --> 00:16:09,743
But you're free to go.

526
00:16:12,996 --> 00:16:13,664
Maybe I should.

527
00:16:14,706 --> 00:16:18,042
Wait!

528
00:16:19,127 --> 00:16:20,337
I'll show you the trick.

529
00:16:25,008 --> 00:16:27,385
Sir!

530
00:16:27,511 --> 00:16:28,804
May I please have

531
00:16:27,511 --> 00:16:28,804
the silk handkerchief

532
00:16:29,012 --> 00:16:30,221
in your top left breast pocket?

533
00:16:30,347 --> 00:16:32,349
Well... I don't have...

534
00:16:44,778 --> 00:16:49,032
Sim salabi ma...

535
00:16:44,778 --> 00:16:49,032
sim salabi ma...

536
00:16:52,035 --> 00:16:53,286
Relax, relax,

537
00:16:52,035 --> 00:16:53,286
it's part of the trick.

538
00:16:53,411 --> 00:16:55,246
How did you get that

539
00:16:53,411 --> 00:16:55,246
through the X-Ray machine?

540
00:16:55,372 --> 00:16:56,748
No questions from

541
00:16:55,372 --> 00:16:56,748
the audience, please!

542
00:17:10,888 --> 00:17:11,680
What is that?

543
00:17:11,805 --> 00:17:12,931
Madam, may I please have

544
00:17:13,056 --> 00:17:14,683
the key on your necklace?

545
00:17:14,892 --> 00:17:15,767
Oh!

546
00:17:24,067 --> 00:17:25,402
Is that gonna explode?

547
00:17:25,527 --> 00:17:26,611
What?

548
00:17:30,741 --> 00:17:32,200
Ahem.

549
00:17:33,702 --> 00:17:35,829
What?

550
00:18:01,563 --> 00:18:03,648
Will you marry me?

551
00:18:05,567 --> 00:18:06,568
Yes.

552
00:18:12,407 --> 00:18:13,825
Come on, guys.

553
00:18:13,951 --> 00:18:15,786
We're losing the light

554
00:18:13,951 --> 00:18:15,786
for Baby's Second First Outing.

555
00:18:27,422 --> 00:18:29,674
I hate to say it,

556
00:18:27,422 --> 00:18:29,674
but Robin nailed it.

557
00:18:33,219 --> 00:18:35,346
Hey.

558
00:18:33,219 --> 00:18:35,346
Guys, we've got

559
00:18:33,219 --> 00:18:35,346
something to tell you.

560
00:18:35,472 --> 00:18:37,140
Eight or higher, bro.

561
00:18:37,181 --> 00:18:37,891
We're engaged.

562
00:18:38,016 --> 00:18:41,352
That's a... that's a ten.

563
00:18:41,478 --> 00:18:43,396
We got another ten!

564
00:18:43,521 --> 00:18:44,982
Oh...

565
00:18:43,521 --> 00:18:44,982
Wow, big day!

566
00:18:45,148 --> 00:18:47,484
Congratulations!

567
00:18:45,148 --> 00:18:47,484
Thank you.

568
00:18:47,609 --> 00:18:49,152
How did this happen?

569
00:18:49,277 --> 00:18:51,362
Oh... magic.

570
00:18:51,947 --> 00:18:53,865
Oh.

571
00:18:53,991 --> 00:18:55,492
Uh, not to ruin the moment,

572
00:18:55,617 --> 00:18:57,661
but apparently little Marvin

573
00:18:55,617 --> 00:18:57,661
is quite stunned by the news.

574
00:18:57,786 --> 00:19:01,289
Well...

575
00:19:01,414 --> 00:19:02,582
Yeah. Wow.

576
00:19:01,414 --> 00:19:02,582
Yeah.

577
00:19:02,707 --> 00:19:03,708
Do you guys mind

578
00:19:02,707 --> 00:19:03,708
recounting this romantic tale

579
00:19:03,834 --> 00:19:06,169
next to a Diaper Genie?

580
00:19:06,210 --> 00:19:11,174
Oh, Marvin, you're about to

581
00:19:06,210 --> 00:19:11,174
hear your first love story!

582
00:19:11,299 --> 00:19:12,592
Once up on a time,

583
00:19:12,717 --> 00:19:15,679
this creepy magic dude

584
00:19:12,717 --> 00:19:15,679
was boning Barney's mom...

585
00:19:21,559 --> 00:19:22,978
It's our last chance

586
00:19:21,559 --> 00:19:22,978
to run away together.

587
00:19:23,186 --> 00:19:23,979
Door's right there.

588
00:19:24,187 --> 00:19:24,896
Yes, we'll start a new life.

589
00:19:25,022 --> 00:19:27,231
Head for the border!

590
00:19:25,022 --> 00:19:27,231
Canada!

591
00:19:27,357 --> 00:19:29,067
Eh, Mexico.

592
00:19:27,357 --> 00:19:29,067
Canada sucks.

593
00:19:29,192 --> 00:19:30,819
Okay, well,

594
00:19:29,192 --> 00:19:30,819
you're one-quarter Canadian,

595
00:19:30,944 --> 00:19:31,820
so by that logic

596
00:19:30,944 --> 00:19:31,820
you one-quarter suck.

597
00:19:31,945 --> 00:19:34,031
I'm 100% awesome

598
00:19:34,197 --> 00:19:35,573
and you know it.

599
00:19:36,616 --> 00:19:37,909
Yeah, I do.

600
00:19:42,205 --> 00:19:45,625
Look, I-I hope this isn't weird,

601
00:19:42,205 --> 00:19:45,625
or anything, because...

602
00:19:45,750 --> 00:19:47,460
Barney...

603
00:19:47,585 --> 00:19:49,880
I'm... I'm really happy for you.

604
00:19:50,005 --> 00:19:51,715
Really?

605
00:19:53,591 --> 00:19:54,467
Really.

606
00:20:13,028 --> 00:20:15,739
You just drove

607
00:20:13,028 --> 00:20:15,739
right by the church.

608
00:20:15,864 --> 00:20:16,865
I know.

609
00:20:35,967 --> 00:20:38,469
The road to this day has had

610
00:20:38,595 --> 00:20:39,930
a few twists and

611
00:20:38,595 --> 00:20:39,930
turns, hasn't it?

612
00:20:40,055 --> 00:20:41,932
Yeah. Just a few.

613
00:20:43,683 --> 00:20:46,061
In a weird way, it all makes

614
00:20:43,683 --> 00:20:46,061
sense, though, doesn't it?

615
00:20:46,185 --> 00:20:48,105
Yeah.

616
00:20:48,229 --> 00:20:49,522
Yeah, it kind of does.

617
00:20:56,404 --> 00:21:04,037
The bride wants to see me?