1 00:00:01,322 --> 00:00:04,909 Kids, it's no secret your 2 00:00:01,322 --> 00:00:04,909 Uncle Barney is a bit of a dog, 3 00:00:04,950 --> 00:00:07,161 and even though he loved me, 4 00:00:04,950 --> 00:00:07,161 I think he always wanted 5 00:00:07,203 --> 00:00:08,996 a wingman who was 6 00:00:07,203 --> 00:00:08,996 a bit of a dog, too. 7 00:00:16,254 --> 00:00:18,798 And in the fall of 2012... 8 00:00:20,466 --> 00:00:22,385 he found one. 9 00:00:22,427 --> 00:00:23,928 Respect. 10 00:00:43,239 --> 00:00:47,993 Hey, guys, thanks again 11 00:00:43,239 --> 00:00:47,993 for a great night last night. 12 00:00:48,035 --> 00:00:49,078 I say again, 13 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:51,205 great night. 14 00:00:51,247 --> 00:00:56,001 Ted, honey, it was 15 00:00:51,247 --> 00:00:56,001 not a great night. 16 00:00:56,043 --> 00:00:57,169 Ted, 17 00:00:57,211 --> 00:01:00,172 Lily and I noticed 18 00:00:57,211 --> 00:01:00,172 some things last night. 19 00:01:00,214 --> 00:01:01,674 Hey, Ted, can you 20 00:01:00,214 --> 00:01:01,674 pass me a cracker? 21 00:01:01,716 --> 00:01:02,634 Yeah. 22 00:01:01,716 --> 00:01:02,634 It's the least 23 00:01:02,675 --> 00:01:03,551 you can do, 24 00:01:02,675 --> 00:01:03,551 considering I left 25 00:01:03,593 --> 00:01:04,427 a guy at the 26 00:01:03,593 --> 00:01:04,427 altar for you. 27 00:01:04,469 --> 00:01:07,680 Right, right? 28 00:01:09,974 --> 00:01:12,268 Oh, come on, that was a joke. 29 00:01:12,310 --> 00:01:16,314 Women over 30 don't joke 30 00:01:12,310 --> 00:01:16,314 when it comes to commitment. 31 00:01:16,355 --> 00:01:18,775 Victoria is happy 32 00:01:16,355 --> 00:01:18,775 we're taking things slow. 33 00:01:20,151 --> 00:01:22,153 Oh, oh, honeysweetiebaby, 34 00:01:22,194 --> 00:01:23,404 no 32-year-old woman 35 00:01:23,446 --> 00:01:25,281 is happy taking things slow. 36 00:01:25,323 --> 00:01:26,616 Mm. 37 00:01:26,658 --> 00:01:29,034 Trust me, Victoria has got 38 00:01:26,658 --> 00:01:29,034 friends from high school 39 00:01:29,076 --> 00:01:30,161 posting pictures 40 00:01:29,076 --> 00:01:30,161 of second babies on Facebook. 41 00:01:30,202 --> 00:01:31,036 Mm-hmm. 42 00:01:31,078 --> 00:01:32,121 And you think 43 00:01:31,078 --> 00:01:32,121 girlfriend's 44 00:01:32,163 --> 00:01:34,499 all like, "Oh, 45 00:01:32,163 --> 00:01:34,499 let's just bone a bunch 46 00:01:34,540 --> 00:01:36,917 so I'm another year older 47 00:01:34,540 --> 00:01:36,917 and still single"? 48 00:01:36,959 --> 00:01:39,420 Bitch, please. 49 00:01:36,959 --> 00:01:39,420 Mm. 50 00:01:40,254 --> 00:01:42,757 Guys, I've got a new bro... 51 00:01:42,799 --> 00:01:46,051 a bro that puts 52 00:01:42,799 --> 00:01:46,051 all other bros to shame. 53 00:01:46,093 --> 00:01:47,303 The bitches love him. 54 00:01:49,221 --> 00:01:49,972 He buries bones 55 00:01:50,014 --> 00:01:50,723 all day. 56 00:01:50,765 --> 00:01:52,099 Whoo! 57 00:01:53,768 --> 00:01:55,060 No one chases 58 00:01:53,768 --> 00:01:55,060 tail like him. 59 00:01:57,355 --> 00:01:58,606 Why aren't you 60 00:01:57,355 --> 00:01:58,606 guys laughing? 61 00:01:58,648 --> 00:02:00,566 Oh, wait, I probably 62 00:01:58,648 --> 00:02:00,566 should have led with this: 63 00:02:00,608 --> 00:02:01,776 he's a dog. 64 00:02:02,652 --> 00:02:04,153 I've named him 65 00:02:04,195 --> 00:02:06,071 Brover. 66 00:02:06,113 --> 00:02:06,906 I'll go... 67 00:02:06,947 --> 00:02:09,283 fetch him. 68 00:02:10,869 --> 00:02:13,120 Okay, I'm worried about Barney. 69 00:02:13,162 --> 00:02:17,249 That breakup with Quinn messed 70 00:02:13,162 --> 00:02:17,249 him up more than he let on. 71 00:02:17,291 --> 00:02:18,626 I think he's lonely. 72 00:02:18,668 --> 00:02:20,378 Dude seems fine to me. 73 00:02:21,379 --> 00:02:23,422 I love you so much, Brover. 74 00:02:28,135 --> 00:02:30,429 Seriously, based on last night, 75 00:02:30,471 --> 00:02:33,307 you and Victoria 76 00:02:30,471 --> 00:02:33,307 are headed for trouble. 77 00:02:33,349 --> 00:02:35,393 So I got this kind of 78 00:02:33,349 --> 00:02:35,393 interesting job offer 79 00:02:35,434 --> 00:02:37,436 to run a bakery in Denver. 80 00:02:37,478 --> 00:02:40,356 But that's too crazy, 81 00:02:37,478 --> 00:02:40,356 though, right? 82 00:02:40,398 --> 00:02:41,357 Right? 83 00:02:41,399 --> 00:02:42,901 Uh, yeah. 84 00:02:42,942 --> 00:02:45,152 The high altitude would affect 85 00:02:42,942 --> 00:02:45,152 the density of the pastries. 86 00:02:45,194 --> 00:02:45,862 I mean, 87 00:02:45,904 --> 00:02:47,613 talk about half-baked. 88 00:02:47,655 --> 00:02:51,116 Man, this is 89 00:02:47,655 --> 00:02:51,116 a great night. 90 00:02:51,158 --> 00:02:54,370 That was Victoria asking you 91 00:02:51,158 --> 00:02:54,370 to move to Denver with her. 92 00:02:54,412 --> 00:02:55,538 What? 93 00:02:55,580 --> 00:02:57,540 Then, why wouldn't 94 00:02:55,580 --> 00:02:57,540 she just come right out 95 00:02:57,582 --> 00:02:59,166 and say what she wants? 96 00:02:59,208 --> 00:03:00,501 Men. 97 00:03:00,543 --> 00:03:02,754 It's like, if there weren't 98 00:03:00,543 --> 00:03:02,754 pickle jars to open 99 00:03:02,795 --> 00:03:04,171 and spiders 100 00:03:02,795 --> 00:03:04,171 to kill 101 00:03:04,213 --> 00:03:06,549 and computers to back up, 102 00:03:04,213 --> 00:03:06,549 what would be their point? 103 00:03:06,591 --> 00:03:08,133 Mm-hmm. 104 00:03:10,428 --> 00:03:13,514 Okay, when did Marshall become 105 00:03:10,428 --> 00:03:13,514 a slightly more feminine you? 106 00:03:13,556 --> 00:03:16,726 Look, Ted, it gets exhausting 107 00:03:13,556 --> 00:03:16,726 constantly giving people 108 00:03:16,768 --> 00:03:19,896 advice they haven't asked for, 109 00:03:16,768 --> 00:03:19,896 so I'm training Marshall. 110 00:03:20,730 --> 00:03:22,899 My goal is 111 00:03:20,730 --> 00:03:22,899 to eventually say things 112 00:03:22,941 --> 00:03:25,902 that are so sassy 113 00:03:22,941 --> 00:03:25,902 and wise, 114 00:03:25,944 --> 00:03:28,279 that there is 115 00:03:25,944 --> 00:03:28,279 no possible response 116 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:31,407 other than "mm" 117 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:31,407 or "mm-hmm." 118 00:03:32,324 --> 00:03:33,158 And if this is a place where 119 00:03:32,324 --> 00:03:33,158 we can share our dreams... 120 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,202 I like to think 121 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,202 that it is... 122 00:03:35,244 --> 00:03:39,498 I hope someday 123 00:03:35,244 --> 00:03:39,498 to earn a... 124 00:03:39,540 --> 00:03:41,459 "testify." 125 00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:42,460 Look, 126 00:03:42,501 --> 00:03:44,420 Victoria and I are 127 00:03:42,501 --> 00:03:44,420 five months in 128 00:03:44,462 --> 00:03:46,005 and we're 129 00:03:44,462 --> 00:03:46,005 right where we should be. 130 00:03:46,046 --> 00:03:47,924 All right, we-we're cosigning 131 00:03:46,046 --> 00:03:47,924 birthday cards, 132 00:03:47,966 --> 00:03:49,968 w-we got toothbrushes 133 00:03:47,966 --> 00:03:49,968 at each other's places, 134 00:03:50,009 --> 00:03:51,176 foreplay's out the window. 135 00:03:51,218 --> 00:03:53,972 I'm in, I'm out, 136 00:03:51,218 --> 00:03:53,972 I'm sleeping, it's great. 137 00:03:54,013 --> 00:03:55,514 It's more than 138 00:03:54,013 --> 00:03:55,514 five months. 139 00:03:55,556 --> 00:03:58,559 You guys dated before; 140 00:03:55,556 --> 00:03:58,559 that time counts. 141 00:03:58,601 --> 00:04:00,352 The clock doesn't 142 00:03:58,601 --> 00:04:00,352 reset to zero. 143 00:04:00,394 --> 00:04:02,480 It un-pauses from 144 00:04:00,394 --> 00:04:02,480 where you left off. 145 00:04:02,521 --> 00:04:03,272 No way, 146 00:04:03,314 --> 00:04:05,608 no way, the clock resets. 147 00:04:05,650 --> 00:04:07,401 Wait, 148 00:04:07,443 --> 00:04:08,486 so this is what you guys do? 149 00:04:08,527 --> 00:04:09,988 You invite other couples 150 00:04:08,527 --> 00:04:09,988 over for dinner 151 00:04:10,029 --> 00:04:11,948 to judge them and feel superior? 152 00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:13,282 Oh, grow up, Ted, 153 00:04:13,324 --> 00:04:17,620 that's why any couple 154 00:04:13,324 --> 00:04:17,620 invites anyone over ever. 155 00:04:17,662 --> 00:04:20,748 Two Scotches, both neat, 156 00:04:20,790 --> 00:04:23,208 and if you've got some, uh, 157 00:04:20,790 --> 00:04:23,208 nuts, this guy lost a couple. 158 00:04:23,250 --> 00:04:25,210 Ha-ha. 159 00:04:25,252 --> 00:04:27,296 Take the hit, just take the hit. 160 00:04:27,338 --> 00:04:28,631 Okay, this is 161 00:04:28,673 --> 00:04:30,299 a cry for help. 162 00:04:30,341 --> 00:04:32,426 Can we invite Barney over 163 00:04:30,341 --> 00:04:32,426 for dinner tonight? 164 00:04:32,468 --> 00:04:34,428 But I was going to make you 165 00:04:32,468 --> 00:04:34,428 a special meal to celebrate 166 00:04:34,470 --> 00:04:37,515 my show getting nominated 167 00:04:34,470 --> 00:04:37,515 for a Local Area Media Award. 168 00:04:37,556 --> 00:04:38,850 Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention, 169 00:04:38,891 --> 00:04:41,769 Nick had 170 00:04:38,891 --> 00:04:41,769 a cable access cooking show. 171 00:04:41,811 --> 00:04:43,103 Chef Nick Podarutti uses 172 00:04:43,145 --> 00:04:47,191 all fresh, 173 00:04:43,145 --> 00:04:47,191 locally grown ingredients, 174 00:04:47,232 --> 00:04:48,693 but don't think for a second 175 00:04:48,734 --> 00:04:52,237 that means he's not a bad boy. 176 00:04:52,279 --> 00:04:54,615 She runs on corn. 177 00:05:04,542 --> 00:05:05,960 I'm gonna invite him over 178 00:05:04,542 --> 00:05:05,960 for dinner. 179 00:05:06,002 --> 00:05:10,673 Okay, fine, but you'd better 180 00:05:06,002 --> 00:05:10,673 make sure he has a ticket. 181 00:05:10,715 --> 00:05:15,344 'Cause it's all aboard 182 00:05:10,715 --> 00:05:15,344 the Chow-Chow Train! 183 00:05:15,386 --> 00:05:18,681 Honey, I know 184 00:05:15,386 --> 00:05:18,681 it's hard coming up 185 00:05:18,723 --> 00:05:20,683 with a signature 186 00:05:18,723 --> 00:05:20,683 cooking catchphrase, 187 00:05:20,725 --> 00:05:22,852 but I don't think that's it. 188 00:05:22,894 --> 00:05:25,354 I know, but how do you compete 189 00:05:22,894 --> 00:05:25,354 with "Bam!"? 190 00:05:25,396 --> 00:05:27,481 It just says it all. 191 00:05:29,358 --> 00:05:30,234 Hey, you. 192 00:05:30,275 --> 00:05:33,738 Hey, can I ask you 193 00:05:30,275 --> 00:05:33,738 something? 194 00:05:33,779 --> 00:05:36,115 Um, Lily and Marshall think 195 00:05:36,156 --> 00:05:38,868 I'm missing all these hints 196 00:05:36,156 --> 00:05:38,868 you're dropping 197 00:05:38,910 --> 00:05:40,912 that you want 198 00:05:38,910 --> 00:05:40,912 a deeper commitment. 199 00:05:40,953 --> 00:05:43,706 I mean, you'd just come 200 00:05:40,953 --> 00:05:43,706 right out and tell me, right? 201 00:05:43,748 --> 00:05:45,165 Totally. 202 00:05:45,207 --> 00:05:47,167 I-I think I can be a little 203 00:05:45,207 --> 00:05:47,167 bit more direct than that. 204 00:05:47,209 --> 00:05:49,211 Thank you. 205 00:05:49,253 --> 00:05:52,757 Oh, hey, I was cleaning 206 00:05:49,253 --> 00:05:52,757 my apartment today 207 00:05:52,798 --> 00:05:55,593 and I dug this up. 208 00:05:55,634 --> 00:05:56,635 Should I keep 209 00:05:56,677 --> 00:05:58,429 this wedding dress, 210 00:05:56,677 --> 00:05:58,429 or do you think 211 00:05:58,470 --> 00:06:01,057 I'll never, ever need it again? 212 00:06:05,269 --> 00:06:07,229 So Lily and Marshall 213 00:06:05,269 --> 00:06:07,229 were right? 214 00:06:07,271 --> 00:06:08,564 Of course they're right. 215 00:06:08,606 --> 00:06:10,900 When a girl jumps in your 216 00:06:08,606 --> 00:06:10,900 car in a wedding dress, 217 00:06:10,942 --> 00:06:12,110 you can't act 218 00:06:10,942 --> 00:06:12,110 surprised to find out 219 00:06:12,151 --> 00:06:13,235 she wants to get married. 220 00:06:13,277 --> 00:06:14,361 Besides, 221 00:06:14,403 --> 00:06:16,488 we dated before, and 222 00:06:14,403 --> 00:06:16,488 that time counts. 223 00:06:16,530 --> 00:06:18,240 We just hit pause 224 00:06:16,530 --> 00:06:18,240 on the clock. 225 00:06:18,282 --> 00:06:19,450 See, a lot 226 00:06:18,282 --> 00:06:19,450 of really smart people 227 00:06:19,491 --> 00:06:21,201 would argue the clock resets. 228 00:06:21,243 --> 00:06:23,287 It un-pauses, 229 00:06:21,243 --> 00:06:23,287 everybody knows that. 230 00:06:23,328 --> 00:06:24,622 You know, Barney's 231 00:06:23,328 --> 00:06:24,622 a little late. 232 00:06:24,663 --> 00:06:25,748 I hope he's okay. 233 00:06:25,790 --> 00:06:26,540 Ah, he's fine, and 234 00:06:25,790 --> 00:06:26,540 I still don't think 235 00:06:26,582 --> 00:06:28,584 he's crying out for help. 236 00:06:28,626 --> 00:06:31,003 Well... 237 00:06:34,132 --> 00:06:36,216 Sorry we're late. 238 00:06:36,258 --> 00:06:37,760 We just came from the tailor. 239 00:06:37,802 --> 00:06:40,304 Brover couldn't settle on a tie, 240 00:06:37,802 --> 00:06:40,304 so I just bought them all. 241 00:06:40,345 --> 00:06:42,181 You say no to that face. 242 00:06:45,559 --> 00:06:47,686 There's a reason 243 00:06:45,559 --> 00:06:47,686 that you're not 244 00:06:47,728 --> 00:06:49,981 a hundred percent in 245 00:06:47,728 --> 00:06:49,981 this with me, Ted. 246 00:06:50,022 --> 00:06:52,483 Something's holding us back. 247 00:06:52,524 --> 00:06:53,651 Well, what is it? 248 00:06:53,692 --> 00:06:54,902 I think we've established 249 00:06:53,692 --> 00:06:54,902 I'm not great 250 00:06:54,944 --> 00:06:59,323 at picking up on clues... 251 00:06:54,944 --> 00:06:59,323 well, in this situation. 252 00:06:59,364 --> 00:07:02,701 As a kid, I was known 253 00:06:59,364 --> 00:07:02,701 as a bit of a detective. 254 00:07:02,743 --> 00:07:03,744 In fact, 255 00:07:02,743 --> 00:07:03,744 when my friend's retainer 256 00:07:03,786 --> 00:07:05,079 went missing, 257 00:07:05,121 --> 00:07:07,289 the Mosby Boys were put 258 00:07:05,121 --> 00:07:07,289 on the case, and it was... 259 00:07:07,331 --> 00:07:09,125 The retainer was 260 00:07:07,331 --> 00:07:09,125 in the garbage. 261 00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:11,085 The Mosby Boys were 262 00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:11,085 you, your sister, 263 00:07:11,127 --> 00:07:13,587 and a neighborhood squirrel 264 00:07:11,127 --> 00:07:13,587 you thought you had tamed. 265 00:07:13,629 --> 00:07:16,590 I can't believe Squirrel-lock 266 00:07:13,629 --> 00:07:16,590 Holmes turned on us like that. 267 00:07:16,632 --> 00:07:18,676 Eight weeks of training 268 00:07:16,632 --> 00:07:18,676 down the drain. 269 00:07:18,717 --> 00:07:20,678 You know how I 270 00:07:18,717 --> 00:07:20,678 know that, Ted? 271 00:07:20,719 --> 00:07:22,763 Because we covered it in the 272 00:07:20,719 --> 00:07:22,763 "getting to know you" part 273 00:07:22,805 --> 00:07:24,932 of the relationship 274 00:07:22,805 --> 00:07:24,932 six years ago. 275 00:07:25,724 --> 00:07:27,893 Six years. 276 00:07:30,146 --> 00:07:33,732 Then... 277 00:07:30,146 --> 00:07:33,732 what's holding us back? 278 00:07:34,942 --> 00:07:37,153 Call in the 279 00:07:34,942 --> 00:07:37,153 Mosby Boys, Ted, 280 00:07:37,195 --> 00:07:39,488 let me know if they 281 00:07:37,195 --> 00:07:39,488 crack the case. 282 00:07:44,576 --> 00:07:45,828 Guys, 283 00:07:45,870 --> 00:07:49,540 Brover is not only 284 00:07:45,870 --> 00:07:49,540 the best bro I've ever had, 285 00:07:49,581 --> 00:07:52,543 he's amazing with the ladies. 286 00:07:52,584 --> 00:07:54,378 I'm sorry, don't you think 287 00:07:52,584 --> 00:07:54,378 it's a little pathetic 288 00:07:54,419 --> 00:07:56,172 to use a dog to pick up chicks? 289 00:07:56,214 --> 00:07:59,633 Sir, wingmanship is 290 00:07:56,214 --> 00:07:59,633 a two-way street. 291 00:07:59,675 --> 00:08:03,262 If Brover meets a cutie, 292 00:07:59,675 --> 00:08:03,262 I'll take the hit 293 00:08:03,303 --> 00:08:06,348 and chat up 294 00:08:03,303 --> 00:08:06,348 the chubby lady friend. 295 00:08:10,228 --> 00:08:13,064 Sometimes I'll be the jerk... 296 00:08:13,105 --> 00:08:15,524 so Brover can swoop in 297 00:08:13,105 --> 00:08:15,524 and be the hero. 298 00:08:16,817 --> 00:08:18,236 And like any good wingman, 299 00:08:18,277 --> 00:08:21,655 I gather as much intel 300 00:08:18,277 --> 00:08:21,655 as I can right up front. 301 00:08:21,697 --> 00:08:22,322 How old's your dog? 302 00:08:22,364 --> 00:08:23,741 She's five. 303 00:08:22,364 --> 00:08:23,741 Oh. 304 00:08:25,159 --> 00:08:26,451 What's that in dog years? 305 00:08:26,493 --> 00:08:27,494 Like, 35. 306 00:08:27,536 --> 00:08:30,372 We're done here. 307 00:08:30,414 --> 00:08:31,540 Well, you were right. 308 00:08:31,582 --> 00:08:33,500 Victoria says something's 309 00:08:31,582 --> 00:08:33,500 holding us back, 310 00:08:33,542 --> 00:08:35,878 and I don't have 311 00:08:33,542 --> 00:08:35,878 any idea what it is. 312 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:37,504 Any brilliant insights, Oprah? 313 00:08:37,546 --> 00:08:38,630 Steadman? 314 00:08:38,672 --> 00:08:40,966 Um, try Gayle. 315 00:08:42,301 --> 00:08:45,263 Marshall, I want you 316 00:08:42,301 --> 00:08:45,263 to take this one. 317 00:08:45,304 --> 00:08:46,388 You're ready. 318 00:08:46,430 --> 00:08:48,266 Oh, I don't know. 319 00:08:50,059 --> 00:08:52,811 Although I do hear this little 320 00:08:50,059 --> 00:08:52,811 voice in the back of my head 321 00:08:52,853 --> 00:08:54,438 trying to tell 322 00:08:52,853 --> 00:08:54,438 me something. 323 00:08:54,479 --> 00:08:56,815 That's your inner goddess. 324 00:08:56,857 --> 00:08:59,902 Listen to her, 325 00:08:56,857 --> 00:08:59,902 channel her. 326 00:08:59,944 --> 00:09:04,489 If Victoria quenches your 327 00:08:59,944 --> 00:09:04,489 thirst like a tall glass 328 00:09:04,531 --> 00:09:07,826 of sweet tea on 329 00:09:04,531 --> 00:09:07,826 a hot July day... 330 00:09:07,868 --> 00:09:08,869 Marshall, why is she Southern? 331 00:09:08,911 --> 00:09:10,370 Don't let him break 332 00:09:08,911 --> 00:09:10,370 the connection. 333 00:09:10,412 --> 00:09:11,622 well, 334 00:09:10,412 --> 00:09:11,622 you got to make 335 00:09:11,663 --> 00:09:13,249 an honest woman 336 00:09:11,663 --> 00:09:13,249 out of her. 337 00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:14,292 Okay, I'm leaving. 338 00:09:14,333 --> 00:09:16,168 But, but, 339 00:09:16,210 --> 00:09:19,797 if not, well, 340 00:09:16,210 --> 00:09:19,797 then, sugar... 341 00:09:21,006 --> 00:09:22,549 you got to let 342 00:09:21,006 --> 00:09:22,549 that nightingale 343 00:09:22,591 --> 00:09:26,887 spread her 344 00:09:22,591 --> 00:09:26,887 wings and soar 345 00:09:26,929 --> 00:09:28,013 to her own 346 00:09:28,055 --> 00:09:30,557 beautiful tomorrow. 347 00:09:30,599 --> 00:09:32,684 Testify. 348 00:09:34,353 --> 00:09:35,896 You guys are the worst. 349 00:09:43,612 --> 00:09:46,531 Where am I? 350 00:09:47,616 --> 00:09:49,160 Sorry. 351 00:09:49,201 --> 00:09:51,453 Uh, go for Barney. 352 00:09:52,704 --> 00:09:54,957 Uh-huh. 353 00:09:54,999 --> 00:09:57,584 I see. 354 00:09:57,626 --> 00:10:00,504 Totally understood. 355 00:10:00,545 --> 00:10:02,298 I'll do that. 356 00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:03,548 Great. 357 00:10:03,590 --> 00:10:04,549 Thank you. 358 00:10:06,051 --> 00:10:07,719 That was Brover's owner. 359 00:10:07,761 --> 00:10:08,929 I guess, 360 00:10:07,761 --> 00:10:08,929 while she was 361 00:10:08,971 --> 00:10:11,265 out of town, he ran 362 00:10:08,971 --> 00:10:11,265 away from his kennel, 363 00:10:11,307 --> 00:10:14,559 and now that she's back, 364 00:10:11,307 --> 00:10:14,559 I have to return him. 365 00:10:15,102 --> 00:10:16,979 Oh, Barney, I'm so sorry. 366 00:10:17,021 --> 00:10:18,272 Oh, it's all good. 367 00:10:18,314 --> 00:10:20,899 Um, excuse me for one moment. 368 00:10:34,830 --> 00:10:36,790 Hey, 369 00:10:36,832 --> 00:10:38,000 Barney. 370 00:10:39,501 --> 00:10:42,296 No, no. 371 00:10:39,501 --> 00:10:42,296 No, no! 372 00:10:44,923 --> 00:10:47,551 Oh. 373 00:10:49,553 --> 00:10:51,638 Wha... 374 00:10:54,141 --> 00:10:55,184 Victoria. 375 00:10:58,020 --> 00:11:00,814 Will you marry me? 376 00:11:00,856 --> 00:11:02,649 Yes, of course. 377 00:11:07,946 --> 00:11:09,865 There's just one thing. 378 00:11:09,907 --> 00:11:11,867 Anything. You name it. 379 00:11:11,909 --> 00:11:14,995 You can't be friends with Robin. 380 00:11:21,710 --> 00:11:22,544 You won't marry me 381 00:11:22,586 --> 00:11:23,879 if I'm still friends with Robin? 382 00:11:23,921 --> 00:11:24,963 Wait. She's 383 00:11:25,005 --> 00:11:27,341 the thing that's been 384 00:11:25,005 --> 00:11:27,341 holding us back? 385 00:11:27,383 --> 00:11:29,676 There-There's just too much 386 00:11:27,383 --> 00:11:29,676 history there. 387 00:11:29,718 --> 00:11:31,929 I mean, Robin's the reason 388 00:11:29,718 --> 00:11:31,929 that we broke up 389 00:11:31,970 --> 00:11:34,348 the first time around. 390 00:11:31,970 --> 00:11:34,348 Robin's our roadblock. 391 00:11:34,390 --> 00:11:36,183 Robin's the deep, dark pit 392 00:11:36,225 --> 00:11:38,310 where our relationship 393 00:11:36,225 --> 00:11:38,310 goes to die. 394 00:11:38,352 --> 00:11:41,688 But nicest girl in the world. 395 00:11:38,352 --> 00:11:41,688 Salt of the earth. 396 00:11:41,730 --> 00:11:42,856 But she's with Nick now. 397 00:11:42,898 --> 00:11:45,109 I mean, sure, 398 00:11:42,898 --> 00:11:45,109 his cooking show is lousy 399 00:11:45,150 --> 00:11:47,361 with awkward 400 00:11:45,150 --> 00:11:47,361 catchphrase attempts. 401 00:11:47,403 --> 00:11:50,655 Oh, my gosh, 402 00:11:47,403 --> 00:11:50,655 who's ready to nosh? 403 00:11:50,697 --> 00:11:52,366 Who's popping a chub 404 00:11:50,697 --> 00:11:52,366 for some grub? 405 00:11:55,411 --> 00:11:56,870 I offer my deepest apologies 406 00:11:56,912 --> 00:11:59,790 to anyone who was offended 407 00:11:56,912 --> 00:11:59,790 by my "popping a chub" remark. 408 00:11:59,831 --> 00:12:01,917 I can and will do better. 409 00:12:01,959 --> 00:12:03,627 Won't happen again. 410 00:12:03,668 --> 00:12:05,712 And now who's ready 411 00:12:03,668 --> 00:12:05,712 to eat my meat? 412 00:12:06,964 --> 00:12:08,966 Oh, come on. 413 00:12:09,007 --> 00:12:11,176 But Robin's happy with Nick, 414 00:12:11,218 --> 00:12:13,553 and I'm happy with you. 415 00:12:13,595 --> 00:12:14,430 Look, I, 416 00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:16,640 I just asked you to be my wife. 417 00:12:16,681 --> 00:12:19,810 Isn't that proof there's nothing 418 00:12:16,681 --> 00:12:19,810 between me and Robin? 419 00:12:19,851 --> 00:12:21,145 Well, maybe today there isn't, 420 00:12:21,186 --> 00:12:23,147 but what about tomorrow? 421 00:12:23,188 --> 00:12:25,607 Or next week 422 00:12:23,188 --> 00:12:25,607 or 15 years from now? 423 00:12:25,649 --> 00:12:26,775 I'll always 424 00:12:26,817 --> 00:12:28,360 be wondering. 425 00:12:28,402 --> 00:12:29,611 I never wanted 426 00:12:29,653 --> 00:12:32,364 to be that girl who says 427 00:12:32,406 --> 00:12:34,199 it's Robin or it's me, 428 00:12:34,241 --> 00:12:37,244 but, well... 429 00:12:37,286 --> 00:12:40,122 It's Robin or it's you. 430 00:12:41,623 --> 00:12:43,959 You've been 431 00:12:41,623 --> 00:12:43,959 a hell of a wingman. 432 00:12:44,001 --> 00:12:46,253 And even though I think 433 00:12:44,001 --> 00:12:46,253 it's kind of gross 434 00:12:46,295 --> 00:12:48,172 when you 435 00:12:46,295 --> 00:12:48,172 pleasure yourself orally, 436 00:12:48,213 --> 00:12:49,047 don't ever think 437 00:12:49,089 --> 00:12:51,758 that means I'm not impressed. 438 00:12:53,218 --> 00:12:55,513 Hey... 439 00:12:55,554 --> 00:12:57,055 do you think that Barney's 440 00:12:55,554 --> 00:12:57,055 gonna be okay 441 00:12:57,097 --> 00:12:58,098 bringing Brover back? 442 00:12:58,140 --> 00:12:59,641 Yeah, he'll be fine. 443 00:12:59,683 --> 00:13:01,226 It's not just the ability 444 00:13:01,268 --> 00:13:03,061 to go to town on yourself, 445 00:13:03,103 --> 00:13:06,190 but you do it with 446 00:13:03,103 --> 00:13:06,190 such joie de vivre. 447 00:13:07,316 --> 00:13:10,235 I really think 448 00:13:07,316 --> 00:13:10,235 that I should go with him. 449 00:13:10,277 --> 00:13:11,987 No, but you got 450 00:13:10,277 --> 00:13:11,987 to eat these crepes 451 00:13:12,029 --> 00:13:13,238 as soon as 452 00:13:12,029 --> 00:13:13,238 they're flambéed. 453 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:16,116 They're gonna be 454 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:16,116 bon appe-sweet! 455 00:13:16,158 --> 00:13:17,826 No. 456 00:13:16,158 --> 00:13:17,826 Damn. 457 00:13:17,868 --> 00:13:19,203 We'll work on it 458 00:13:17,868 --> 00:13:19,203 when I get back. 459 00:13:19,244 --> 00:13:20,371 No, I get it. 460 00:13:19,244 --> 00:13:20,371 You know, 461 00:13:20,412 --> 00:13:22,206 I only spent all night 462 00:13:20,412 --> 00:13:22,206 working on these, 463 00:13:22,247 --> 00:13:23,832 but, hey, Barney's 464 00:13:22,247 --> 00:13:23,832 more important. 465 00:13:23,874 --> 00:13:26,251 Nick... 466 00:13:23,874 --> 00:13:26,251 It's fine. Go. 467 00:13:27,294 --> 00:13:29,129 Anyway, let's not make 468 00:13:27,294 --> 00:13:29,129 a big deal of it. 469 00:13:29,171 --> 00:13:31,256 We hung out for a few days, 470 00:13:31,298 --> 00:13:32,466 had some fun... 471 00:13:32,508 --> 00:13:34,718 No big woof. 472 00:13:36,094 --> 00:13:38,722 I don't know who I am 473 00:13:36,094 --> 00:13:38,722 without you. 474 00:13:41,975 --> 00:13:43,101 This is crazy. 475 00:13:43,143 --> 00:13:44,853 Victoria is being 476 00:13:43,143 --> 00:13:44,853 completely unreasonable 477 00:13:44,895 --> 00:13:46,522 about Robin, 478 00:13:46,564 --> 00:13:48,566 and my snap sister 479 00:13:46,564 --> 00:13:48,566 is gonna back me up. 480 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:54,029 I say again... 481 00:13:54,071 --> 00:13:57,908 I kind of see Victoria's point. 482 00:13:57,949 --> 00:13:58,909 Come again for Ms. Fudge? 483 00:13:58,950 --> 00:14:01,912 Ted and Robin have 484 00:13:58,950 --> 00:14:01,912 so much history. 485 00:14:01,953 --> 00:14:04,664 Exactly. History. 486 00:14:01,953 --> 00:14:04,664 Ancient history. 487 00:14:04,706 --> 00:14:07,751 Ted, you said "I love you" 488 00:14:04,706 --> 00:14:07,751 to her earlier this year. 489 00:14:07,792 --> 00:14:09,169 I'm not saying 490 00:14:09,211 --> 00:14:11,963 this is fair, but I get it. 491 00:14:12,964 --> 00:14:14,758 I didn't get that at all. 492 00:14:14,799 --> 00:14:17,761 How could my inner goddess 493 00:14:14,799 --> 00:14:17,761 be so far off? 494 00:14:17,802 --> 00:14:19,179 Oh, you'll get there, honey. 495 00:14:19,221 --> 00:14:21,599 Oprah wasn't built in a day. 496 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:25,185 Uh-oh. 497 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:25,185 What? 498 00:14:25,227 --> 00:14:28,730 I kind of went rogue. 499 00:14:28,772 --> 00:14:30,649 Look, if you really want 500 00:14:28,772 --> 00:14:30,649 to have a baby, 501 00:14:30,690 --> 00:14:32,651 just stop taking the pill. 502 00:14:32,692 --> 00:14:34,612 You guys slept together 503 00:14:32,692 --> 00:14:34,612 at spring break 504 00:14:34,653 --> 00:14:35,987 three years ago. 505 00:14:36,655 --> 00:14:38,616 That means something. 506 00:14:38,657 --> 00:14:40,451 Loves show tunes, 507 00:14:40,492 --> 00:14:42,119 total shopaholic, 508 00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:43,954 not always pestering you 509 00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:43,954 for sex? 510 00:14:44,996 --> 00:14:46,748 Um, Clifford 511 00:14:44,996 --> 00:14:46,748 sounds like a keeper. 512 00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:50,835 Marshall, all of that advice 513 00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:50,835 was terrible. 514 00:14:50,877 --> 00:14:52,087 Not as terrible as you saying 515 00:14:52,129 --> 00:14:53,464 that Ted and Robin 516 00:14:52,129 --> 00:14:53,464 should stop being friends. 517 00:14:53,505 --> 00:14:56,967 I'm not saying they should. 518 00:14:53,505 --> 00:14:56,967 It would be horrible. 519 00:14:57,008 --> 00:14:58,009 But if Ted 520 00:14:58,051 --> 00:15:00,845 really wants to be 521 00:14:58,051 --> 00:15:00,845 with Victoria... 522 00:15:00,887 --> 00:15:04,015 Ted, tell her 523 00:15:04,057 --> 00:15:06,226 that you're not gonna 524 00:15:04,057 --> 00:15:06,226 stop being friends with Robin. 525 00:15:07,686 --> 00:15:10,564 I can't imagine 526 00:15:07,686 --> 00:15:10,564 life without Robin. 527 00:15:11,898 --> 00:15:13,900 But she'll never be 528 00:15:11,898 --> 00:15:13,900 in love with me. 529 00:15:13,942 --> 00:15:14,859 She'll never be 530 00:15:14,901 --> 00:15:16,570 my wife. 531 00:15:16,612 --> 00:15:17,862 She'll never be 532 00:15:17,904 --> 00:15:20,407 the person I grow old with. 533 00:15:20,449 --> 00:15:23,034 Victoria... 534 00:15:23,076 --> 00:15:25,245 Victoria could be. 535 00:15:26,871 --> 00:15:29,541 Are you saying what 536 00:15:26,871 --> 00:15:29,541 I think you're saying? 537 00:15:39,176 --> 00:15:41,261 You ready to say good-bye? 538 00:15:43,347 --> 00:15:45,307 Thanks for coming with me. 539 00:15:45,349 --> 00:15:47,142 Oh, well, 540 00:15:45,349 --> 00:15:47,142 you did the same for me 541 00:15:47,184 --> 00:15:49,894 back when I had to give away 542 00:15:47,184 --> 00:15:49,894 all my dogs. Remember? 543 00:15:49,936 --> 00:15:52,731 Oh, yeah, we drove 544 00:15:49,936 --> 00:15:52,731 to your aunt's farm upstate. 545 00:15:52,772 --> 00:15:54,399 She was awesome. 546 00:15:54,441 --> 00:15:55,275 Yeah. 547 00:15:54,441 --> 00:15:55,275 I love how she 548 00:15:55,317 --> 00:15:56,818 was this wise, old, chilled out, 549 00:15:56,860 --> 00:15:58,862 lesbian farmer. 550 00:15:58,903 --> 00:16:01,657 No, no, no. 551 00:15:58,903 --> 00:16:01,657 She's not a lesbian. 552 00:16:01,699 --> 00:16:02,991 Nor does she farm them. 553 00:16:03,033 --> 00:16:04,159 No, that woman 554 00:16:03,033 --> 00:16:04,159 she lives with, 555 00:16:04,201 --> 00:16:06,704 that's just 556 00:16:04,201 --> 00:16:06,704 her special friend Maureen. 557 00:16:06,745 --> 00:16:09,206 They've lived together for... 558 00:16:09,247 --> 00:16:11,375 Oh. 559 00:16:13,043 --> 00:16:16,672 Oh, this is gonna be tough. 560 00:16:16,714 --> 00:16:19,216 Brover really was 561 00:16:16,714 --> 00:16:19,216 the best wingman ever. 562 00:16:25,930 --> 00:16:27,766 Oh, my God. 563 00:16:27,807 --> 00:16:30,018 Thank you so much for bringing 564 00:16:30,060 --> 00:16:32,896 Mr. Sprinkles back. 565 00:16:30,060 --> 00:16:32,896 Mr. Sprinkles... 566 00:16:32,937 --> 00:16:35,148 is a great name for a dog. 567 00:16:35,190 --> 00:16:37,108 Mommy missed you so much. 568 00:16:37,150 --> 00:16:38,235 Yes, she did. 569 00:16:38,276 --> 00:16:41,321 Did this nice couple 570 00:16:38,276 --> 00:16:41,321 take care of you? 571 00:16:43,741 --> 00:16:45,534 That's a laugh. Ha. 572 00:16:45,576 --> 00:16:47,118 Big bro. 573 00:16:48,078 --> 00:16:49,788 I got to split. 574 00:16:48,078 --> 00:16:49,788 Yeah, I got to, 575 00:16:49,829 --> 00:16:51,998 I got to head back 576 00:16:49,829 --> 00:16:51,998 to the farm... 577 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:55,168 where I live with my 578 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:55,168 special friend Maureen. 579 00:16:55,210 --> 00:16:56,086 Whom I now realize 580 00:16:56,127 --> 00:16:58,505 is my lesbian 581 00:16:56,127 --> 00:16:58,505 life partner. 582 00:16:58,547 --> 00:17:01,007 Surprise. 583 00:17:02,050 --> 00:17:05,011 Okay. All right. 584 00:17:05,053 --> 00:17:05,970 So... 585 00:17:06,012 --> 00:17:08,139 would you like a drink? 586 00:17:11,810 --> 00:17:14,229 Best wingman ever. 587 00:17:18,858 --> 00:17:20,819 Hey. 588 00:17:20,860 --> 00:17:22,279 What's all this? 589 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:24,197 I thought you were 590 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:24,197 mad at me. 591 00:17:24,239 --> 00:17:25,907 I was... 592 00:17:25,949 --> 00:17:27,325 but then I realized 593 00:17:27,367 --> 00:17:30,036 I just have to accept 594 00:17:27,367 --> 00:17:30,036 that you have close guy friends. 595 00:17:30,078 --> 00:17:32,247 I mean, I don't want it 596 00:17:30,078 --> 00:17:32,247 becoming a habit 597 00:17:32,289 --> 00:17:34,249 that they steal you away from me 598 00:17:32,289 --> 00:17:34,249 in the middle of the night. 599 00:17:34,291 --> 00:17:36,126 But... 600 00:17:36,167 --> 00:17:37,586 Oh, sorry. 601 00:17:39,296 --> 00:17:41,131 Oh, Ted needs to see me. 602 00:17:41,172 --> 00:17:43,007 Oh, for the love of God, woman. 603 00:17:41,172 --> 00:17:43,007 Oh, it's not 604 00:17:43,049 --> 00:17:45,302 what you think. 605 00:17:43,049 --> 00:17:45,302 He just wants to have sex. 606 00:17:45,343 --> 00:17:47,387 Kidding. 607 00:17:47,429 --> 00:17:49,139 Just a little hand stuff. 608 00:17:49,180 --> 00:17:50,474 Ha. Kidding again. 609 00:17:50,515 --> 00:17:54,102 Ted's more of a boob man. 610 00:17:50,515 --> 00:17:54,102 I seriously can't stop. 611 00:17:54,144 --> 00:17:56,605 What does he want? 612 00:17:54,144 --> 00:17:56,605 Um... 613 00:17:56,647 --> 00:17:58,148 I don't know, 614 00:17:56,647 --> 00:17:58,148 but he says it's urgent. 615 00:17:59,107 --> 00:18:01,151 I'm so sorry. 616 00:18:01,192 --> 00:18:03,945 Just one more little 617 00:18:01,192 --> 00:18:03,945 steal-away. 618 00:18:03,987 --> 00:18:05,989 Just as long 619 00:18:03,987 --> 00:18:05,989 as he gives you back. 620 00:18:07,532 --> 00:18:08,992 Thanks. 621 00:18:26,176 --> 00:18:27,927 So... 622 00:18:27,969 --> 00:18:29,971 are you okay? 623 00:18:30,013 --> 00:18:31,556 What is this big, urgent thing 624 00:18:31,598 --> 00:18:33,684 that couldn't wait 625 00:18:31,598 --> 00:18:33,684 till tomorrow? 626 00:18:35,393 --> 00:18:37,354 There's something 627 00:18:35,393 --> 00:18:37,354 I have to tell you. 628 00:18:37,395 --> 00:18:39,898 Um... 629 00:18:39,939 --> 00:18:41,775 I've thought about this a ton, 630 00:18:41,817 --> 00:18:44,778 and, um... 631 00:18:44,820 --> 00:18:47,155 I was hoping it wouldn't 632 00:18:44,820 --> 00:18:47,155 come to this, 633 00:18:47,197 --> 00:18:49,324 but... 634 00:18:52,786 --> 00:18:56,540 I'm not in love with Robin, um, 635 00:18:56,581 --> 00:19:00,168 but she's like family to me, 636 00:18:56,581 --> 00:19:00,168 and, uh... 637 00:19:00,210 --> 00:19:02,337 I can't end that. 638 00:19:02,379 --> 00:19:05,256 So... 639 00:19:05,298 --> 00:19:07,634 can you accept that? 640 00:19:17,101 --> 00:19:20,522 I really hope 641 00:19:17,101 --> 00:19:20,522 you get her some day. 642 00:19:35,453 --> 00:19:36,830 Hey, guys. 643 00:19:36,872 --> 00:19:38,164 Hey. 644 00:19:36,872 --> 00:19:38,164 Hey. 645 00:19:38,206 --> 00:19:40,375 So, last night 646 00:19:40,417 --> 00:19:44,379 Ted calls me out to the bar 647 00:19:40,417 --> 00:19:44,379 to talk about something urgent. 648 00:19:44,421 --> 00:19:46,339 Guess what it was. 649 00:19:46,381 --> 00:19:47,424 He wants to write 650 00:19:47,465 --> 00:19:50,510 a series of young adult 651 00:19:47,465 --> 00:19:50,510 mystery novels 652 00:19:50,552 --> 00:19:53,304 called The Mosby Boys. 653 00:19:53,346 --> 00:19:56,015 Why did you need 654 00:19:53,346 --> 00:19:56,015 to tell me that? 655 00:19:56,057 --> 00:19:58,268 You work in the media. 656 00:19:56,057 --> 00:19:58,268 You know people. 657 00:19:58,309 --> 00:20:00,478 Okay, well, first of all, 658 00:19:58,309 --> 00:20:00,478 lose the Mosby nerds 659 00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:02,439 and focus on 660 00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:02,439 that crime-solving squirrel. 661 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:03,147 That guy is gold. 662 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:03,147 Yeah. 663 00:20:03,189 --> 00:20:04,190 And secondly, next time 664 00:20:04,232 --> 00:20:06,234 you have a big idea 665 00:20:04,232 --> 00:20:06,234 late at night, 666 00:20:06,276 --> 00:20:08,027 please bug 667 00:20:06,276 --> 00:20:08,027 your girlfriend about it. 668 00:20:08,069 --> 00:20:09,821 Uh, actually... 669 00:20:09,863 --> 00:20:12,198 Victoria and I broke up. 670 00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:14,075 Oh, my God. 671 00:20:14,117 --> 00:20:16,411 Why, what, 672 00:20:14,117 --> 00:20:16,411 what happened? 673 00:20:16,453 --> 00:20:19,372 We just, you know, 674 00:20:16,453 --> 00:20:19,372 wanted different things. 675 00:20:22,709 --> 00:20:24,377 I'm so sorry, buddy. 676 00:20:24,419 --> 00:20:26,296 But, bright side... 677 00:20:26,337 --> 00:20:28,632 Robin is gonna be so touched 678 00:20:28,673 --> 00:20:30,300 when she hears you ended 679 00:20:28,673 --> 00:20:30,300 things with Victoria 680 00:20:30,341 --> 00:20:31,384 because of her. 681 00:20:31,426 --> 00:20:33,011 She can never know. 682 00:20:33,052 --> 00:20:35,806 Promise me 683 00:20:33,052 --> 00:20:35,806 Robin will never find out. 684 00:20:35,847 --> 00:20:37,223 I don't understand. 685 00:20:37,265 --> 00:20:38,224 Promise. 686 00:20:38,266 --> 00:20:41,311 Promise. 687 00:20:38,266 --> 00:20:41,311 Promise. 688 00:20:41,352 --> 00:20:42,980 Of course, 689 00:20:43,021 --> 00:20:44,481 Robin did find out. 690 00:20:44,522 --> 00:20:46,858 But we'll get to that. 691 00:21:03,124 --> 00:21:05,084 So you do have balls? 692 00:21:05,126 --> 00:21:08,212 Run!