1 00:00:01,245 --> 00:00:03,247 In the fall of 2012, 2 00:00:03,288 --> 00:00:05,833 Nick and Robin 3 00:00:03,288 --> 00:00:05,833 were going strong. 4 00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:07,501 Sometimes it's hard to say 5 00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:07,501 what it is exactly 6 00:00:07,543 --> 00:00:08,920 that makes a couple click. 7 00:00:10,088 --> 00:00:11,213 Wow. 8 00:00:11,881 --> 00:00:14,383 Bravissimo! 9 00:00:14,425 --> 00:00:17,386 Whatever it was, kids, 10 00:00:14,425 --> 00:00:17,386 Nick and Robin 11 00:00:17,428 --> 00:00:19,221 really connected at first. 12 00:00:19,263 --> 00:00:21,432 Hey, you know, 13 00:00:19,263 --> 00:00:21,432 I think I'm really starting 14 00:00:21,473 --> 00:00:22,808 to feel something here... 15 00:00:24,602 --> 00:00:27,646 But then, as often happens, 16 00:00:24,602 --> 00:00:27,646 they started to drift apart. 17 00:00:27,688 --> 00:00:29,065 Why? 18 00:00:29,107 --> 00:00:30,232 Who can say? 19 00:00:30,274 --> 00:00:32,651 Nick and I haven't 20 00:00:30,274 --> 00:00:32,651 had sex in three days. 21 00:00:32,693 --> 00:00:34,403 And it's your fault. 22 00:00:34,445 --> 00:00:35,487 Nick won't have sex 23 00:00:35,529 --> 00:00:36,989 because he pulled 24 00:00:35,529 --> 00:00:36,989 his groin muscle, 25 00:00:37,031 --> 00:00:38,116 all 'cause you made him join 26 00:00:37,031 --> 00:00:38,116 your stupid basketball team. 27 00:00:38,157 --> 00:00:41,452 Did you say 28 00:00:38,157 --> 00:00:41,452 "stupid basketball team"? 29 00:00:41,493 --> 00:00:42,078 Yeah. 30 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:43,162 Oh, my gosh, guys, 31 00:00:43,203 --> 00:00:45,456 we have to rush Robin 32 00:00:43,203 --> 00:00:45,456 to the hospital. 33 00:00:45,497 --> 00:00:47,875 Because somehow, she swallowed 34 00:00:45,497 --> 00:00:47,875 her vocal cords 35 00:00:47,917 --> 00:00:49,752 and they got lodged 36 00:00:47,917 --> 00:00:49,752 in her rectum, 37 00:00:49,794 --> 00:00:51,754 because she's 38 00:00:49,794 --> 00:00:51,754 talking out of her ass. 39 00:00:51,796 --> 00:00:54,256 Over the summer, 40 00:00:51,796 --> 00:00:54,256 Marshall had joined 41 00:00:54,298 --> 00:00:55,758 a midtown professionals 42 00:00:54,298 --> 00:00:55,758 basketball league. 43 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:59,845 His team of lawyers was called 44 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:59,845 The Force Majeurs. 45 00:00:59,887 --> 00:01:02,098 Ever since they lost 46 00:00:59,887 --> 00:01:02,098 to a group of accountants, 47 00:01:02,140 --> 00:01:03,891 he'd started getting 48 00:01:02,140 --> 00:01:03,891 a little intense about it. 49 00:01:03,933 --> 00:01:06,727 You sure you didn't have 50 00:01:03,933 --> 00:01:06,727 a ringer or two out there, Joel? 51 00:01:06,769 --> 00:01:08,312 Don't know 52 00:01:06,769 --> 00:01:08,312 what you're talking about. 53 00:01:08,353 --> 00:01:10,397 Good hustle out there, 54 00:01:08,353 --> 00:01:10,397 Aboubakar! 55 00:01:13,818 --> 00:01:16,320 If Joel can use ringers, 56 00:01:13,818 --> 00:01:16,320 then so can we. 57 00:01:16,361 --> 00:01:18,072 And Nick is our best player. 58 00:01:18,114 --> 00:01:19,115 So as far as I'm concerned, 59 00:01:19,157 --> 00:01:21,159 you can both 60 00:01:19,157 --> 00:01:21,159 keep your groins on ice. 61 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:22,118 Groins on Ice. 62 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:23,285 Least popular 63 00:01:23,327 --> 00:01:25,788 Madison Square Garden 64 00:01:23,327 --> 00:01:25,788 holiday show ever. 65 00:01:25,830 --> 00:01:27,665 Why are you so into 66 00:01:25,830 --> 00:01:27,665 this basketball league? 67 00:01:27,706 --> 00:01:30,126 Robin, it's the Little Ivies 68 00:01:27,706 --> 00:01:30,126 Professionals Over 30 69 00:01:30,168 --> 00:01:31,794 Who Work In Midtown League. 70 00:01:31,836 --> 00:01:33,087 It's The Show! 71 00:01:34,379 --> 00:01:35,965 You know, it's kind of funny, 72 00:01:36,007 --> 00:01:38,884 imagining people 73 00:01:36,007 --> 00:01:38,884 icing their groins. 74 00:01:38,926 --> 00:01:40,970 I mean, first they'd be 75 00:01:38,926 --> 00:01:40,970 all cold, 76 00:01:41,012 --> 00:01:43,514 and then the ice 77 00:01:41,012 --> 00:01:43,514 would start to melt, 78 00:01:43,555 --> 00:01:48,144 and things would get 79 00:01:43,555 --> 00:01:48,144 all wet and... steamy. 80 00:01:50,938 --> 00:01:52,564 Okay, Lily. 81 00:01:52,606 --> 00:01:54,192 Look, buddy, 82 00:01:54,233 --> 00:01:55,818 I'm also the captain of a team 83 00:01:55,860 --> 00:01:57,153 in the Little Ivies 84 00:01:55,860 --> 00:01:57,153 Professionals Over 30 85 00:01:57,195 --> 00:01:58,988 Who Work In Midtown League. 86 00:01:59,030 --> 00:02:00,531 I'm addicted 87 00:01:59,030 --> 00:02:00,531 to the adrenaline, too. 88 00:02:00,572 --> 00:02:01,824 Still, don't you 89 00:02:00,572 --> 00:02:01,824 think you're getting 90 00:02:01,866 --> 00:02:03,117 a little obsessive about... 91 00:02:03,159 --> 00:02:04,076 Uh, hold up, hold up. 92 00:02:04,118 --> 00:02:06,787 Are you suggesting 93 00:02:04,118 --> 00:02:06,787 that you are 94 00:02:06,829 --> 00:02:10,958 a member of a sports team 95 00:02:06,829 --> 00:02:10,958 and you're the captain? 96 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:11,959 So says the "C" 97 00:02:12,001 --> 00:02:14,920 I personally sewed 98 00:02:12,001 --> 00:02:14,920 onto my jersey. 99 00:02:14,962 --> 00:02:17,048 After Victoria 100 00:02:14,962 --> 00:02:17,048 and I broke up, 101 00:02:17,089 --> 00:02:19,008 I had some free time. 102 00:02:19,050 --> 00:02:20,801 So, called up 103 00:02:19,050 --> 00:02:20,801 a few architect friends 104 00:02:20,843 --> 00:02:22,011 and put together 105 00:02:20,843 --> 00:02:22,011 a little team 106 00:02:22,053 --> 00:02:25,139 called the T-Squares. 107 00:02:27,266 --> 00:02:28,767 See that? 108 00:02:28,809 --> 00:02:29,894 The floor's uneven. 109 00:02:29,935 --> 00:02:32,938 And that window placement 110 00:02:29,935 --> 00:02:32,938 is rubbish. 111 00:02:32,980 --> 00:02:35,191 You know, if a genie 112 00:02:32,980 --> 00:02:35,191 gave me one wish, 113 00:02:35,233 --> 00:02:38,069 I would knock down that wall 114 00:02:35,233 --> 00:02:38,069 and create a nice flow. 115 00:02:38,110 --> 00:02:39,820 Great wish. 116 00:02:39,862 --> 00:02:42,240 I mean, there's too 117 00:02:39,862 --> 00:02:42,240 much hardwood, right? 118 00:02:42,281 --> 00:02:45,450 Did you nerds actually 119 00:02:42,281 --> 00:02:45,450 play any basketball? 120 00:02:45,492 --> 00:02:50,081 Um, us nerds focused on 121 00:02:45,492 --> 00:02:50,081 something far more important: 122 00:02:50,122 --> 00:02:51,123 bonding. 123 00:02:51,165 --> 00:02:53,292 You guys are 124 00:02:51,165 --> 00:02:53,292 going to get pounded. 125 00:02:53,667 --> 00:02:55,086 And I am not. 126 00:02:55,127 --> 00:02:57,462 Oh, come on. You can't go 127 00:02:55,127 --> 00:02:57,462 a couple weeks without sex? 128 00:02:57,504 --> 00:03:00,883 Our point guard's a 52-year-old 129 00:02:57,504 --> 00:03:00,883 virgin, happy as a clam. 130 00:03:00,925 --> 00:03:02,801 I'm sure he's quite 131 00:03:00,925 --> 00:03:02,801 a ball handler. 132 00:03:02,843 --> 00:03:05,304 The problem is, 133 00:03:02,843 --> 00:03:05,304 now that we're not having sex, 134 00:03:05,345 --> 00:03:06,471 we're talking more, 135 00:03:06,513 --> 00:03:11,185 and I'm realizing 136 00:03:06,513 --> 00:03:11,185 that Nick is kind of... 137 00:03:11,227 --> 00:03:12,477 dumb. 138 00:03:12,519 --> 00:03:14,105 Really? 139 00:03:12,519 --> 00:03:14,105 News to me. 140 00:03:14,146 --> 00:03:15,231 I hadn't 141 00:03:14,146 --> 00:03:15,231 noticed that. 142 00:03:14,146 --> 00:03:15,231 No. 143 00:03:15,273 --> 00:03:16,274 Oh, my God. 144 00:03:16,315 --> 00:03:17,900 You guys think 145 00:03:16,315 --> 00:03:17,900 that he's dumb, too? 146 00:03:17,942 --> 00:03:19,026 So dumb. 147 00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:19,985 Air bags are sharper. 148 00:03:20,027 --> 00:03:30,027 Hot as lava 149 00:03:20,027 --> 00:03:30,027 but just as thick. 150 00:03:30,537 --> 00:03:35,251 Hot as lava 151 00:03:30,537 --> 00:03:35,251 but just as thick. 152 00:03:35,293 --> 00:03:39,922 Wow. When did you guys start to 153 00:03:35,293 --> 00:03:39,922 notice that he was kind of dumb? 154 00:03:39,964 --> 00:03:43,884 Well, there was that time 155 00:03:39,964 --> 00:03:43,884 Nick was doing the crossword. 156 00:03:43,926 --> 00:03:46,262 Hey, what's a four- 157 00:03:43,926 --> 00:03:46,262 letter word for cut? 158 00:03:46,304 --> 00:03:47,429 "Nick." 159 00:03:47,471 --> 00:03:49,223 Yeah? 160 00:03:49,265 --> 00:03:50,474 Is a four-letter 161 00:03:49,265 --> 00:03:50,474 word for cut. 162 00:03:50,515 --> 00:03:51,433 What is? 163 00:03:51,475 --> 00:03:53,144 "Nick." 164 00:03:51,475 --> 00:03:53,144 What? 165 00:03:53,185 --> 00:03:55,479 Oh. I got it. 166 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:58,357 "Shave." 167 00:03:58,398 --> 00:04:02,027 And there was the comment 168 00:03:58,398 --> 00:04:02,027 about Gypsies. 169 00:04:02,069 --> 00:04:02,736 No, no. 170 00:04:02,778 --> 00:04:04,446 I think Gypsies prefer 171 00:04:04,488 --> 00:04:05,906 to be called Romani now. 172 00:04:06,949 --> 00:04:08,909 Do they? Really? 173 00:04:08,951 --> 00:04:11,912 And what do unicorns 174 00:04:08,951 --> 00:04:11,912 and, uh, elves 175 00:04:11,954 --> 00:04:13,372 and leprechauns 176 00:04:11,954 --> 00:04:13,372 prefer to be called? 177 00:04:15,540 --> 00:04:17,709 You do know, uh, 178 00:04:15,540 --> 00:04:17,709 Gypsies are 179 00:04:17,751 --> 00:04:20,212 a real ethnic group 180 00:04:17,751 --> 00:04:20,212 that actually exists? 181 00:04:21,797 --> 00:04:23,966 Oh, you guys, I 182 00:04:21,797 --> 00:04:23,966 feel terrible now. 183 00:04:24,008 --> 00:04:25,843 I always thought they 184 00:04:24,008 --> 00:04:25,843 were just made up, 185 00:04:25,884 --> 00:04:28,179 like goblins or 186 00:04:25,884 --> 00:04:28,179 trolls or dolphins. 187 00:04:29,721 --> 00:04:32,308 And then there's that story 188 00:04:29,721 --> 00:04:32,308 you told about how you and Nick 189 00:04:32,350 --> 00:04:34,059 picked up 190 00:04:32,350 --> 00:04:34,059 that Danish exchange student 191 00:04:34,101 --> 00:04:35,978 and you all 192 00:04:34,101 --> 00:04:35,978 took a shower together. 193 00:04:36,020 --> 00:04:38,772 I never told a story like that. 194 00:04:38,814 --> 00:04:40,316 Well, no time like the present. 195 00:04:40,358 --> 00:04:41,359 Let's give this 196 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:42,360 Danish ho a name. 197 00:04:42,401 --> 00:04:44,111 I'm thinking Nadia. 198 00:04:44,153 --> 00:04:47,531 Yeah, she sounds slutty 199 00:04:44,153 --> 00:04:47,531 and bi-curious. 200 00:04:47,572 --> 00:04:49,491 What is wrong with you? 201 00:04:50,117 --> 00:04:51,118 Your kid is right there. 202 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:52,411 Maybe want to 203 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:52,411 clean it up a lit... 204 00:04:53,787 --> 00:04:56,123 You're wearing a baby 205 00:04:53,787 --> 00:04:56,123 and you're doing pull-ups? 206 00:04:56,165 --> 00:04:58,917 No, Ted, I'm sitting around 207 00:04:56,165 --> 00:04:58,917 getting soft, 208 00:04:58,959 --> 00:05:01,086 'cause that's what champions do. 209 00:05:01,128 --> 00:05:05,132 The problem is, now that 210 00:05:01,128 --> 00:05:05,132 I know how dumb Nick is, 211 00:05:05,174 --> 00:05:07,343 it's kind of making me 212 00:05:05,174 --> 00:05:07,343 reconsider the relationship. 213 00:05:07,385 --> 00:05:08,386 Why? 214 00:05:08,427 --> 00:05:10,971 Eventually, 215 00:05:08,427 --> 00:05:10,971 Nick's groin will heal 216 00:05:11,013 --> 00:05:12,472 and you'll be back in Sexville, 217 00:05:12,514 --> 00:05:15,393 where all the crossword puzzles 218 00:05:12,514 --> 00:05:15,393 only have one box to fill. 219 00:05:15,434 --> 00:05:17,561 Talk about 220 00:05:15,434 --> 00:05:17,561 a double standard. 221 00:05:17,602 --> 00:05:21,315 Every time I go after a busty 222 00:05:17,602 --> 00:05:21,315 dullard who can't tell time 223 00:05:21,357 --> 00:05:24,402 or thinks I'm the ghost of 224 00:05:21,357 --> 00:05:24,402 Leonardo DiCaprio, I'm shallow. 225 00:05:24,443 --> 00:05:26,945 But somehow it's okay 226 00:05:24,443 --> 00:05:26,945 for Robin to date a guy 227 00:05:26,987 --> 00:05:29,031 who can't be trusted 228 00:05:26,987 --> 00:05:29,031 around outlets. 229 00:05:29,073 --> 00:05:30,199 Dump him! 230 00:05:30,241 --> 00:05:32,410 Okay, that is ridiculous. 231 00:05:32,451 --> 00:05:35,120 Is Nick a genius? No. 232 00:05:35,162 --> 00:05:36,205 But does he have 233 00:05:36,247 --> 00:05:38,249 average intelligence? 234 00:05:38,290 --> 00:05:39,333 No. 235 00:05:39,375 --> 00:05:40,167 But he is 236 00:05:40,209 --> 00:05:42,336 a human being, with a heart! 237 00:05:42,378 --> 00:05:45,839 And you're afraid if I dump 238 00:05:42,378 --> 00:05:45,839 him, it'll throw off his game. 239 00:05:45,881 --> 00:05:48,175 Robin, he got 36 points 240 00:05:45,881 --> 00:05:48,175 and 17 rebounds last week. 241 00:05:48,217 --> 00:05:50,344 And that was with his shoes 242 00:05:48,217 --> 00:05:50,344 on the wrong feet. 243 00:05:51,470 --> 00:05:55,557 Well, you're probably 244 00:05:51,470 --> 00:05:55,557 all wondering 245 00:05:55,599 --> 00:05:57,559 how the T-Squares' practice 246 00:05:55,599 --> 00:05:57,559 went today. 247 00:05:57,601 --> 00:05:58,977 The T-What? 248 00:05:59,019 --> 00:06:01,272 We played up here. 249 00:06:01,313 --> 00:06:03,857 Basketball, 250 00:06:01,313 --> 00:06:03,857 people don't realize, 251 00:06:03,899 --> 00:06:06,026 is all geometry, 252 00:06:03,899 --> 00:06:06,026 physics and engineering. 253 00:06:06,068 --> 00:06:08,446 If you think 254 00:06:06,068 --> 00:06:08,446 like an architect, 255 00:06:08,487 --> 00:06:12,157 you could win a thousand games 256 00:06:08,487 --> 00:06:12,157 without ever touching a ball. 257 00:06:12,199 --> 00:06:14,743 What happened 258 00:06:12,199 --> 00:06:14,743 to your ball? 259 00:06:14,785 --> 00:06:16,203 Some kids from the Hebrew school 260 00:06:14,785 --> 00:06:16,203 next door took it 261 00:06:16,245 --> 00:06:17,288 and wouldn't give it back. 262 00:06:17,329 --> 00:06:18,205 Oh. 263 00:06:18,247 --> 00:06:18,997 Oy. 264 00:06:19,039 --> 00:06:20,374 Hey. 265 00:06:20,416 --> 00:06:21,375 Hey. 266 00:06:20,416 --> 00:06:21,375 Hey. 267 00:06:20,416 --> 00:06:21,375 Oh, thanks. 268 00:06:21,417 --> 00:06:23,585 How'd the breakup 269 00:06:21,417 --> 00:06:23,585 with Nick go? 270 00:06:23,627 --> 00:06:25,170 Well... 271 00:06:25,212 --> 00:06:27,089 So, I went to this 272 00:06:25,212 --> 00:06:27,089 fortune teller today 273 00:06:27,131 --> 00:06:29,467 and she said there was 274 00:06:27,131 --> 00:06:29,467 a curse on me. 275 00:06:29,508 --> 00:06:32,094 Did she sell you something 276 00:06:29,508 --> 00:06:32,094 to ward off the curse? 277 00:06:32,136 --> 00:06:35,097 It's like you're 278 00:06:32,136 --> 00:06:35,097 a fortune teller, too. 279 00:06:36,723 --> 00:06:38,850 Nick, um... 280 00:06:38,892 --> 00:06:40,311 I think we need to talk. 281 00:06:40,352 --> 00:06:41,228 Yeah. 282 00:06:41,270 --> 00:06:43,439 Uh... it's just... 283 00:06:43,481 --> 00:06:46,317 Whoa, these are hard. 284 00:06:46,358 --> 00:06:48,277 Anyway, this $500 bracelet 285 00:06:46,358 --> 00:06:48,277 will ward off evil 286 00:06:48,319 --> 00:06:50,237 till the end 287 00:06:48,319 --> 00:06:50,237 of the week, so... 288 00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:51,322 Do you think that 289 00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:51,322 you could do, 290 00:06:51,363 --> 00:06:53,698 uh, sit-ups or something 291 00:06:51,363 --> 00:06:53,698 while you talk? 292 00:06:53,740 --> 00:06:55,033 Yeah. 293 00:06:55,909 --> 00:06:58,120 Anyway, this fortune teller, 294 00:06:58,162 --> 00:07:00,998 she was able to tell me all 295 00:06:58,162 --> 00:07:00,998 sorts of stuff about my future, 296 00:07:01,039 --> 00:07:04,543 just from my credit cards 297 00:07:01,039 --> 00:07:04,543 and my social security number, 298 00:07:04,584 --> 00:07:06,586 my driver's license... 299 00:07:06,628 --> 00:07:08,339 I knew you'd cave. 300 00:07:08,380 --> 00:07:09,631 Which is why I came up with 301 00:07:09,673 --> 00:07:11,133 a little extra 302 00:07:09,673 --> 00:07:11,133 incentive 303 00:07:11,175 --> 00:07:12,592 to break up with Nick. 304 00:07:12,634 --> 00:07:15,471 End it by 8:00 p.m. Tonight 305 00:07:12,634 --> 00:07:15,471 or this invite goes live. 306 00:07:15,513 --> 00:07:17,473 (festive music playing 307 00:07:15,513 --> 00:07:17,473 over computer) 308 00:07:17,515 --> 00:07:19,350 "Robin and Patrice's 309 00:07:19,391 --> 00:07:21,643 BFF Fun Day?" 310 00:07:21,685 --> 00:07:24,146 Kids, Patrice was 311 00:07:21,685 --> 00:07:24,146 a coworker of Robin's 312 00:07:24,188 --> 00:07:27,316 who'd become sort of 313 00:07:24,188 --> 00:07:27,316 obsessed with her. 314 00:07:27,358 --> 00:07:29,109 Robin had managed, until now, 315 00:07:29,151 --> 00:07:33,071 to keep Patrice 316 00:07:29,151 --> 00:07:33,071 at arm's length. 317 00:07:33,113 --> 00:07:35,324 But if Patrice were invited 318 00:07:33,113 --> 00:07:35,324 to something called 319 00:07:35,366 --> 00:07:37,951 Robin and Patrice's 320 00:07:35,366 --> 00:07:37,951 BFF Fun Day, 321 00:07:37,993 --> 00:07:40,287 she'd latch onto Robin 322 00:07:37,993 --> 00:07:40,287 and never let go. 323 00:07:40,329 --> 00:07:42,039 Why would 324 00:07:40,329 --> 00:07:42,039 you do that? 325 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:43,123 Delete that right now! 326 00:07:43,165 --> 00:07:45,292 No! If I don't give you 327 00:07:43,165 --> 00:07:45,292 a little push, 328 00:07:45,334 --> 00:07:48,045 you'll let this drag on 329 00:07:45,334 --> 00:07:48,045 until Nick can have sex again, 330 00:07:48,086 --> 00:07:51,256 and then you'll be right back 331 00:07:48,086 --> 00:07:51,256 to procrastinating on all fours. 332 00:07:51,298 --> 00:07:54,092 I hate to admit it, but the 333 00:07:51,298 --> 00:07:54,092 man in the suit has a point. 334 00:07:54,134 --> 00:07:55,886 Ugh! 335 00:07:55,927 --> 00:07:58,180 Fine, but the playoffs 336 00:07:55,927 --> 00:07:58,180 are coming up soon, 337 00:07:58,222 --> 00:08:00,474 and I can't have this 338 00:07:58,222 --> 00:08:00,474 guy an emotional wreck. 339 00:08:00,516 --> 00:08:03,352 If you do dump him, at 340 00:08:00,516 --> 00:08:03,352 least let him down easy. 341 00:08:03,394 --> 00:08:05,396 Yeah, take him 342 00:08:03,394 --> 00:08:05,396 to a nice restaurant. 343 00:08:05,437 --> 00:08:06,771 Preferably a dessert place. 344 00:08:06,813 --> 00:08:08,524 That way, you won't have to 345 00:08:06,813 --> 00:08:08,524 sit through a whole meal 346 00:08:08,566 --> 00:08:09,233 before you get to... 347 00:08:09,274 --> 00:08:11,109 Splitsville. 348 00:08:09,274 --> 00:08:11,109 Exactly. 349 00:08:11,151 --> 00:08:12,319 No, Splitsville. 350 00:08:12,361 --> 00:08:13,904 It's a dessert place 351 00:08:12,361 --> 00:08:13,904 right around the corner. 352 00:08:13,945 --> 00:08:16,865 It's sort of the place 353 00:08:13,945 --> 00:08:16,865 to end a relationship. 354 00:08:22,246 --> 00:08:23,539 Uh, Nick, listen. 355 00:08:23,581 --> 00:08:26,542 You are awesome 356 00:08:26,584 --> 00:08:31,296 and totally sweet, 357 00:08:26,584 --> 00:08:31,296 but we're just not... 358 00:08:32,506 --> 00:08:34,592 You know where I'm going 359 00:08:32,506 --> 00:08:34,592 with this, right? 360 00:08:34,633 --> 00:08:37,219 No. No clue. 361 00:08:37,261 --> 00:08:40,764 Okay, um... 362 00:08:40,805 --> 00:08:43,601 I don't know if we should 363 00:08:40,805 --> 00:08:43,601 keep seeing each other. 364 00:08:43,642 --> 00:08:46,311 You want to start turning 365 00:08:43,642 --> 00:08:46,311 off the lights during sex? 366 00:08:46,353 --> 00:08:47,979 No. God, no. 367 00:08:48,021 --> 00:08:49,481 No! No. 368 00:08:49,523 --> 00:08:54,570 I am just worried that, as 369 00:08:49,523 --> 00:08:54,570 a couple, we're not working out. 370 00:08:54,612 --> 00:08:57,114 You want to start 371 00:08:54,612 --> 00:08:57,114 going to the gym together? 372 00:08:57,155 --> 00:08:58,740 Okay, no, Nick, 373 00:08:57,155 --> 00:08:58,740 here is the deal. 374 00:08:58,782 --> 00:08:59,366 Okay... 375 00:09:00,284 --> 00:09:02,244 Sorry, babe. I got to take this. 376 00:09:02,286 --> 00:09:03,328 Excuse me. 377 00:09:03,370 --> 00:09:05,581 Hello. 378 00:09:05,623 --> 00:09:06,915 Hey, what's up? 379 00:09:08,750 --> 00:09:11,128 You... 380 00:09:11,169 --> 00:09:12,630 What? I... 381 00:09:12,671 --> 00:09:13,755 I don't understand. 382 00:09:14,881 --> 00:09:16,007 But you... 383 00:09:16,049 --> 00:09:17,175 Okay, um, you know what? 384 00:09:17,217 --> 00:09:19,386 I'm sorry, I-I have to go. 385 00:09:21,846 --> 00:09:23,056 What happened? 386 00:09:23,098 --> 00:09:26,143 I... 387 00:09:26,184 --> 00:09:28,270 I, um... 388 00:09:28,312 --> 00:09:30,981 Uh, I'm sorry, 389 00:09:28,312 --> 00:09:30,981 I can't talk about this. 390 00:09:34,652 --> 00:09:35,444 Anyway, 391 00:09:35,486 --> 00:09:38,614 what were you going to say? 392 00:09:38,656 --> 00:09:41,366 Uh... 393 00:09:41,408 --> 00:09:45,996 I was gonna say, 394 00:09:41,408 --> 00:09:45,996 order whatever else you want. 395 00:09:46,037 --> 00:09:47,581 It's on me. 396 00:09:47,623 --> 00:09:49,833 Well, thanks, 397 00:09:47,623 --> 00:09:49,833 but I think I'd just rather 398 00:09:49,874 --> 00:09:51,502 eat it out of a bowl. 399 00:09:57,341 --> 00:09:58,300 Well, no doubt 400 00:09:57,341 --> 00:09:58,300 you're all wondering 401 00:09:58,342 --> 00:10:00,218 how the T-Squares' 402 00:09:58,342 --> 00:10:00,218 first game went. 403 00:10:00,260 --> 00:10:01,303 What Squares? 404 00:10:01,345 --> 00:10:02,721 Picture a well- 405 00:10:01,345 --> 00:10:02,721 oiled machine. 406 00:10:02,762 --> 00:10:04,598 Your sewing machine? 407 00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:06,600 There were two seconds 408 00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:06,600 left on the clock. 409 00:10:06,642 --> 00:10:09,728 Aboubakar was all over me. 410 00:10:09,769 --> 00:10:12,272 And that's when all my years 411 00:10:09,769 --> 00:10:12,272 of architectural training 412 00:10:12,314 --> 00:10:13,898 came to my aid. 413 00:10:13,940 --> 00:10:17,611 I saw the space in a way 414 00:10:13,940 --> 00:10:17,611 my opponents never would. 415 00:10:32,876 --> 00:10:33,918 Yes! 416 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:36,672 I told you guys 417 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:36,672 I'd make one of these! 418 00:10:36,714 --> 00:10:38,882 Turns out, those two 419 00:10:36,714 --> 00:10:38,882 points were taken away 420 00:10:38,923 --> 00:10:41,051 because apparently the 421 00:10:38,923 --> 00:10:41,051 ball went "out of bounds." 422 00:10:41,092 --> 00:10:42,135 But don't worry, 423 00:10:42,177 --> 00:10:44,680 I'm appealing 424 00:10:42,177 --> 00:10:44,680 to the league office. 425 00:10:44,722 --> 00:10:47,849 This Aboubakar... I'm assuming 426 00:10:44,722 --> 00:10:47,849 you showered with the guy? 427 00:10:47,891 --> 00:10:49,643 Paint me a word picture. 428 00:10:50,769 --> 00:10:52,062 Hello. 429 00:10:52,103 --> 00:10:53,480 Lil, is Barney there? 430 00:10:53,522 --> 00:10:54,481 He's not answering his phone. 431 00:10:54,523 --> 00:10:56,358 Mm, he's a little busy 432 00:10:54,523 --> 00:10:56,358 right now. 433 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:57,568 It's Robin. 434 00:10:57,609 --> 00:10:59,528 37... 38... 435 00:10:59,570 --> 00:11:00,904 Put her on speaker. 39... 436 00:11:00,945 --> 00:11:02,947 When did you start being 437 00:11:00,945 --> 00:11:02,947 able to do stuff like this? 438 00:11:02,989 --> 00:11:04,783 A few months ago, 439 00:11:02,989 --> 00:11:04,783 you had to catch your breath 440 00:11:04,824 --> 00:11:05,784 after making a sandwich. 441 00:11:05,825 --> 00:11:07,494 Barney, delete the Robin 442 00:11:07,536 --> 00:11:10,330 and Patrice's BFF Fun Day 443 00:11:07,536 --> 00:11:10,330 invite! 444 00:11:10,372 --> 00:11:12,040 Did you break up with Nick yet? 445 00:11:12,082 --> 00:11:13,458 I can't! 446 00:11:12,082 --> 00:11:13,458 He just got some horrible call. 447 00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:15,753 I think a family member might 448 00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:15,753 have died or something. 449 00:11:15,794 --> 00:11:16,836 Oh! 450 00:11:15,794 --> 00:11:16,836 Yes! Yes! 451 00:11:16,878 --> 00:11:18,756 Yes! Yes! Yes! 452 00:11:18,797 --> 00:11:21,800 I mean, good that Robin 453 00:11:18,797 --> 00:11:21,800 can't dump him. 454 00:11:21,841 --> 00:11:23,343 The death part, 455 00:11:21,841 --> 00:11:23,343 less good. 456 00:11:23,385 --> 00:11:25,887 Robin, if you dump Nick, 457 00:11:25,929 --> 00:11:28,557 he could get mad and 458 00:11:25,929 --> 00:11:28,557 tear your blouse off. 459 00:11:28,599 --> 00:11:30,559 And then he bites 460 00:11:28,599 --> 00:11:30,559 you on the neck, 461 00:11:30,601 --> 00:11:32,310 not super hard, 462 00:11:30,601 --> 00:11:32,310 just on the brink 463 00:11:32,352 --> 00:11:33,311 between pleasure 464 00:11:32,352 --> 00:11:33,311 and pain. 465 00:11:33,353 --> 00:11:34,938 And then that Danish slut 466 00:11:33,353 --> 00:11:34,938 Nadia 467 00:11:34,979 --> 00:11:36,815 bursts in... 468 00:11:36,856 --> 00:11:39,610 You can't wait. 469 00:11:36,856 --> 00:11:39,610 His groin will heal 470 00:11:39,651 --> 00:11:41,779 and then before you know it, 471 00:11:39,651 --> 00:11:41,779 you'll be marrying a man 472 00:11:41,820 --> 00:11:44,281 who once ate 473 00:11:41,820 --> 00:11:44,281 a vanilla-scented candle! 474 00:11:44,322 --> 00:11:45,365 That was on me. 475 00:11:45,407 --> 00:11:48,159 I shouldn't have left it 476 00:11:45,407 --> 00:11:48,159 in the kitchen. 477 00:11:48,201 --> 00:11:50,746 Though, it was lit. 478 00:11:48,201 --> 00:11:50,746 Man, he dumb. 479 00:11:50,788 --> 00:11:52,372 The invite goes live 480 00:11:50,788 --> 00:11:52,372 in five minutes. 481 00:11:52,414 --> 00:11:53,624 What? 482 00:11:53,665 --> 00:11:55,917 It goes out automatically 483 00:11:53,665 --> 00:11:55,917 unless I stop it, 484 00:11:55,959 --> 00:11:57,753 and that only happens 485 00:11:55,959 --> 00:11:57,753 if I hear you dump Nick 486 00:11:57,795 --> 00:11:59,838 on speakerphone 487 00:11:57,795 --> 00:11:59,838 before then. 488 00:11:59,879 --> 00:12:01,298 Fine. 489 00:12:04,676 --> 00:12:07,887 Hey, Nick. I'm 490 00:12:04,676 --> 00:12:07,887 sorry about that. 491 00:12:07,929 --> 00:12:09,848 Um, listen, 492 00:12:09,889 --> 00:12:11,600 there's something I need 493 00:12:11,642 --> 00:12:12,810 to talk to you about. 494 00:12:12,851 --> 00:12:15,854 No, Robin, I'm sorry. 495 00:12:12,851 --> 00:12:15,854 I'm like half here. 496 00:12:16,814 --> 00:12:17,897 That phone call, it just... 497 00:12:17,939 --> 00:12:20,818 I got some really bad news. 498 00:12:21,901 --> 00:12:24,154 My doctor did an MRI... 499 00:12:24,195 --> 00:12:25,947 and... 500 00:12:28,158 --> 00:12:31,829 Oh... Oh, God. 501 00:12:28,158 --> 00:12:31,829 What, what is it? 502 00:12:31,870 --> 00:12:34,998 My groin injury is worse 503 00:12:31,870 --> 00:12:34,998 than they thought. 504 00:12:35,039 --> 00:12:37,000 I can't play basketball 505 00:12:35,039 --> 00:12:37,000 for weeks. 506 00:12:37,041 --> 00:12:39,837 Thank God. I thought he was 507 00:12:37,041 --> 00:12:39,837 dying or something. 508 00:12:39,878 --> 00:12:43,423 How many weeks? 509 00:12:39,878 --> 00:12:43,423 How many weeks? 510 00:12:43,465 --> 00:12:45,342 Please tell me 511 00:12:43,465 --> 00:12:45,342 it's not a tear 512 00:12:45,383 --> 00:12:46,593 in the iliolumbar ligament. 513 00:12:46,635 --> 00:12:48,846 It's a tear in the 514 00:12:46,635 --> 00:12:48,846 "libioflumflar linament." 515 00:12:48,887 --> 00:12:51,598 If it's a small tear, 516 00:12:48,887 --> 00:12:51,598 he can still make playoffs. 517 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:52,641 It's a big tear. 518 00:12:52,683 --> 00:12:53,600 He better not be out 519 00:12:52,683 --> 00:12:53,600 for the season. 520 00:12:53,642 --> 00:12:56,394 I'm out for the season. 521 00:12:53,642 --> 00:12:56,394 Damn it! 522 00:12:56,436 --> 00:12:59,439 They're going up against The 523 00:12:56,436 --> 00:12:59,439 Number Crunchers without me. 524 00:12:59,481 --> 00:13:02,651 It's an after-work basketball 525 00:12:59,481 --> 00:13:02,651 league for lawyers 526 00:13:02,693 --> 00:13:05,403 and accountants 527 00:13:02,693 --> 00:13:05,403 and architects who sew. 528 00:13:05,445 --> 00:13:07,906 I mean, who takes it 529 00:13:05,445 --> 00:13:07,906 that seriously? 530 00:13:07,947 --> 00:13:12,327 No...! 531 00:13:13,453 --> 00:13:16,039 I just hate 532 00:13:13,453 --> 00:13:16,039 letting Coach Eriksen down. 533 00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:20,794 I would follow that man 534 00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:20,794 through the gates of hell! 535 00:13:20,836 --> 00:13:22,170 Winning. 536 00:13:22,212 --> 00:13:26,424 What do we win when we beat 537 00:13:22,212 --> 00:13:26,424 those Number Crunchers 538 00:13:26,466 --> 00:13:28,218 a few short weeks hence? 539 00:13:28,259 --> 00:13:29,720 A game? Sure. 540 00:13:30,303 --> 00:13:32,180 A trophy? Sort of. 541 00:13:32,222 --> 00:13:34,850 We win a $25 gift card 542 00:13:32,222 --> 00:13:34,850 to Bennigan's, 543 00:13:34,892 --> 00:13:37,018 but what is it 544 00:13:34,892 --> 00:13:37,018 that we really win? 545 00:13:37,060 --> 00:13:38,186 The game! 546 00:13:38,228 --> 00:13:39,813 Yes, I said that Nick. 547 00:13:39,855 --> 00:13:41,022 Right. 548 00:13:41,064 --> 00:13:43,274 But we also win 549 00:13:43,316 --> 00:13:45,068 the right to walk tall. 550 00:13:45,109 --> 00:13:46,194 Oh! 551 00:13:46,236 --> 00:13:48,655 The right to call ourselves 552 00:13:46,236 --> 00:13:48,655 champions. 553 00:13:48,697 --> 00:13:49,907 Yeah. 554 00:13:48,697 --> 00:13:49,907 So we are gonna 555 00:13:49,948 --> 00:13:51,491 go out and we are 556 00:13:51,533 --> 00:13:52,951 gonna wipe the floor 557 00:13:51,533 --> 00:13:52,951 with those accountants! 558 00:13:52,992 --> 00:13:55,913 And afterwards, 559 00:13:52,992 --> 00:13:55,913 we will feast like kings 560 00:13:55,954 --> 00:13:58,916 on Southwest Fajitas 561 00:13:55,954 --> 00:13:58,916 and Cajun shrimp! 562 00:13:58,957 --> 00:14:03,712 And that check, that check will 563 00:13:58,957 --> 00:14:03,712 be marginally less expensive! 564 00:14:03,754 --> 00:14:05,296 Yeah! Yeah! 565 00:14:05,338 --> 00:14:08,967 Now, they're probably gonna have 566 00:14:05,338 --> 00:14:08,967 to pay full price for that meal. 567 00:14:10,093 --> 00:14:14,305 Nick, you are so sweet, 568 00:14:10,093 --> 00:14:14,305 but I just... 569 00:14:14,347 --> 00:14:15,640 Good news is 570 00:14:15,682 --> 00:14:18,101 it doesn't really matter 571 00:14:15,682 --> 00:14:18,101 if it takes my groin pull 572 00:14:18,142 --> 00:14:20,103 a little longer to heal, 573 00:14:20,144 --> 00:14:22,898 so I may as well start 574 00:14:20,144 --> 00:14:22,898 having sex again. 575 00:14:22,940 --> 00:14:23,941 Listening. 576 00:14:23,982 --> 00:14:24,942 Sickening. 577 00:14:24,983 --> 00:14:26,234 Exiting. 578 00:14:30,948 --> 00:14:32,699 Nick... 579 00:14:30,948 --> 00:14:32,699 Huh? 580 00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:34,325 I just... 581 00:14:34,367 --> 00:14:36,995 Ah... I... 582 00:14:37,036 --> 00:14:38,914 Hmm? 583 00:14:37,036 --> 00:14:38,914 Um... 584 00:14:38,956 --> 00:14:40,290 Mm-hmm? 585 00:14:40,331 --> 00:14:41,541 Oh... 586 00:14:41,583 --> 00:14:45,336 What do you think? 587 00:14:45,378 --> 00:14:47,338 I think I am suddenly 588 00:14:45,378 --> 00:14:47,338 in the mood 589 00:14:47,380 --> 00:14:49,257 for something hot. 590 00:14:49,299 --> 00:14:51,802 I see. Sounds like I should 591 00:14:49,299 --> 00:14:51,802 order some cappuccinos. 592 00:14:51,843 --> 00:14:54,345 Don't talk till 593 00:14:51,843 --> 00:14:54,345 tomorrow morning. 594 00:14:54,387 --> 00:14:55,973 She can't go home 595 00:14:54,387 --> 00:14:55,973 with you, Nick. 596 00:14:56,014 --> 00:14:58,683 Barney? 597 00:14:56,014 --> 00:14:58,683 Why not? 598 00:14:58,725 --> 00:15:02,145 Because Robin and I are in love. 599 00:15:09,068 --> 00:15:10,069 Barney, what are 600 00:15:09,068 --> 00:15:10,069 you doing here? 601 00:15:10,111 --> 00:15:11,070 Taking care of something 602 00:15:11,112 --> 00:15:12,322 you clearly can't do 603 00:15:11,112 --> 00:15:12,322 on your own. 604 00:15:12,363 --> 00:15:13,573 I'm sorry, 605 00:15:13,615 --> 00:15:14,950 but you and Robin are done. 606 00:15:14,992 --> 00:15:16,743 What? Robin, what is this? 607 00:15:16,785 --> 00:15:18,703 Barney, look, I-I know 608 00:15:16,785 --> 00:15:18,703 what you're doing, okay? 609 00:15:18,745 --> 00:15:19,871 Please stop. 610 00:15:19,913 --> 00:15:21,623 Robin doesn't want 611 00:15:19,913 --> 00:15:21,623 to hurt your feelings 612 00:15:21,665 --> 00:15:23,041 because you're a nice guy, 613 00:15:23,082 --> 00:15:23,917 but she thinks 614 00:15:23,959 --> 00:15:25,585 you're stupid and she hates you. 615 00:15:25,627 --> 00:15:26,503 You're welcome. 616 00:15:26,544 --> 00:15:28,005 Stop doing this. 617 00:15:28,046 --> 00:15:29,088 I love her, Nick. 618 00:15:29,130 --> 00:15:30,715 Look, he doesn't 619 00:15:29,130 --> 00:15:30,715 love me. 620 00:15:30,757 --> 00:15:32,759 He's just saying this because... 621 00:15:32,801 --> 00:15:33,927 I love everything about her, 622 00:15:33,969 --> 00:15:35,846 and I'm not a guy 623 00:15:33,969 --> 00:15:35,846 who says that lightly. 624 00:15:35,887 --> 00:15:38,139 I'm a guy who has faked love 625 00:15:35,887 --> 00:15:38,139 his entire life. 626 00:15:38,181 --> 00:15:40,058 I thought love 627 00:15:38,181 --> 00:15:40,058 was just something 628 00:15:40,141 --> 00:15:41,184 idiots thought they felt, 629 00:15:41,225 --> 00:15:43,311 but this woman has 630 00:15:41,225 --> 00:15:43,311 a hold on my heart 631 00:15:43,353 --> 00:15:45,605 that I could not break 632 00:15:43,353 --> 00:15:45,605 if I wanted to, 633 00:15:45,647 --> 00:15:47,148 and there 634 00:15:45,647 --> 00:15:47,148 have been times 635 00:15:47,190 --> 00:15:48,942 that I wanted to. 636 00:15:48,984 --> 00:15:53,780 It has been overwhelming 637 00:15:48,984 --> 00:15:53,780 and humbling 638 00:15:53,822 --> 00:15:58,035 and even painful at times, 639 00:15:53,822 --> 00:15:58,035 but I could not stop loving her 640 00:15:58,076 --> 00:16:00,037 any more 641 00:15:58,076 --> 00:16:00,037 than I could stop breathing. 642 00:16:01,913 --> 00:16:05,583 I am hopelessly, irretrievably 643 00:16:01,913 --> 00:16:05,583 in love with her. 644 00:16:06,835 --> 00:16:09,546 More than she knows. 645 00:16:14,051 --> 00:16:15,259 Robin, 646 00:16:15,301 --> 00:16:16,928 is this true? 647 00:16:18,096 --> 00:16:20,057 You heard him. 648 00:16:22,059 --> 00:16:24,185 Oh, wow, it feels 649 00:16:22,059 --> 00:16:24,185 like I have 650 00:16:24,227 --> 00:16:27,480 a pulled groin muscle 651 00:16:24,227 --> 00:16:27,480 in my heart. 652 00:16:27,522 --> 00:16:29,232 Nick, I-I'm so sorry. 653 00:16:29,273 --> 00:16:31,568 I just 654 00:16:29,273 --> 00:16:31,568 think that maybe... 655 00:16:31,609 --> 00:16:33,236 Pardon me. 656 00:16:33,277 --> 00:16:36,239 But did you just also get 657 00:16:33,277 --> 00:16:36,239 your heart broken? 658 00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:38,867 Yes. 659 00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:38,867 I just got 660 00:16:38,909 --> 00:16:42,286 my heart broken, too! 661 00:16:42,328 --> 00:16:44,288 Well, do the... 662 00:16:42,328 --> 00:16:44,288 the two of you... 663 00:16:45,206 --> 00:16:47,250 want to come back 664 00:16:45,206 --> 00:16:47,250 to my place? 665 00:16:47,291 --> 00:16:50,253 Yes. 666 00:16:47,291 --> 00:16:50,253 Yes. 667 00:16:47,291 --> 00:16:50,253 Come on. 668 00:16:52,171 --> 00:16:55,216 Thus concluded 669 00:16:52,171 --> 00:16:55,216 the Autumn of Breakups, 670 00:16:55,258 --> 00:16:57,094 Wow. 671 00:16:57,135 --> 00:16:58,177 Crazy, right? 672 00:16:57,135 --> 00:16:58,177 Yeah, 673 00:16:58,219 --> 00:17:00,430 you know what would be 674 00:16:58,219 --> 00:17:00,430 really crazy? 675 00:17:00,471 --> 00:17:01,806 If all of 'em 676 00:17:01,848 --> 00:17:06,811 got it on... Barney, Robin, Nick, 677 00:17:01,848 --> 00:17:06,811 and those two women, 678 00:17:06,853 --> 00:17:09,522 and you just know 679 00:17:06,853 --> 00:17:09,522 Nadia's watching in the corner 680 00:17:09,564 --> 00:17:11,274 with her pet snake. 681 00:17:11,315 --> 00:17:13,151 Okay, why aren't 682 00:17:11,315 --> 00:17:13,151 you two having sex? 683 00:17:13,192 --> 00:17:14,402 What? 684 00:17:14,444 --> 00:17:16,279 Excuse me? 685 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:18,406 Lily has been slobbering 686 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:18,406 over Robin's sex life 687 00:17:18,448 --> 00:17:21,743 like a cartoon hobo watching 688 00:17:18,448 --> 00:17:21,743 a pie cool on a windowsill, 689 00:17:21,785 --> 00:17:23,161 and you... 690 00:17:23,202 --> 00:17:25,622 the only other time you've ever 691 00:17:23,202 --> 00:17:25,622 exercised this seriously 692 00:17:25,663 --> 00:17:27,624 was when Lily had mono 693 00:17:25,663 --> 00:17:27,624 freshman year 694 00:17:27,665 --> 00:17:29,250 and I caught you doing 695 00:17:27,665 --> 00:17:29,250 one-armed push-ups 696 00:17:29,292 --> 00:17:31,210 with your genitals 697 00:17:29,292 --> 00:17:31,210 over a bowl of ice. 698 00:17:31,252 --> 00:17:32,420 So, when did 699 00:17:32,462 --> 00:17:35,298 you stop doing it and why? 700 00:17:36,174 --> 00:17:38,176 It was, you know, 701 00:17:38,217 --> 00:17:41,054 before Marvin was born. 702 00:17:41,096 --> 00:17:42,430 What? 703 00:17:41,096 --> 00:17:42,430 Th-That's insane. 704 00:17:42,472 --> 00:17:44,975 Well, you have to wait a while 705 00:17:42,472 --> 00:17:44,975 after having a kid, 706 00:17:45,016 --> 00:17:48,145 and, and then you're exhausted 707 00:17:45,016 --> 00:17:48,145 from being up all night. 708 00:17:48,186 --> 00:17:51,856 And then this uncanny 709 00:17:48,186 --> 00:17:51,856 phenomenon began. 710 00:18:13,211 --> 00:18:14,545 Wow, 711 00:18:14,587 --> 00:18:16,131 you guys got to fix this. 712 00:18:16,173 --> 00:18:18,175 It's not that easy. 713 00:18:20,177 --> 00:18:22,137 Ted, having a kid 714 00:18:22,179 --> 00:18:23,554 changes things. 715 00:18:23,596 --> 00:18:28,018 You don't have the time 716 00:18:23,596 --> 00:18:28,018 or energy, you're never alone. 717 00:18:28,059 --> 00:18:30,311 Come here. 718 00:18:30,353 --> 00:18:32,189 What are you doing? 719 00:18:32,230 --> 00:18:33,564 Taking Marvin 720 00:18:32,230 --> 00:18:33,564 for a walk 721 00:18:33,606 --> 00:18:36,193 so you guys can 722 00:18:33,606 --> 00:18:36,193 have some privacy. 723 00:18:36,234 --> 00:18:38,319 Oh, Ted, come on, 724 00:18:38,361 --> 00:18:40,113 that's, that's just not 725 00:18:38,361 --> 00:18:40,113 the way that it works. 726 00:18:40,155 --> 00:18:42,365 Yeah, it's not 727 00:18:40,155 --> 00:18:42,365 like we can have sex on cue. 728 00:18:42,406 --> 00:18:44,201 Yeah, I'll give you 729 00:18:42,406 --> 00:18:44,201 guys plenty of time. 730 00:18:44,242 --> 00:18:45,910 Maybe I'll even 731 00:18:45,952 --> 00:18:47,286 swing by the gym, show Marvin 732 00:18:47,328 --> 00:18:49,164 where his Uncle Ted 733 00:18:47,328 --> 00:18:49,164 made "the shot." 734 00:18:49,206 --> 00:18:51,166 If I'm late, 735 00:18:51,208 --> 00:18:53,334 it's 'cause I've been delayed 736 00:18:51,208 --> 00:18:53,334 by autograph seekers. 737 00:18:55,170 --> 00:18:57,255 Oh, forgot Marvin's diaper bag. 738 00:18:57,296 --> 00:18:58,381 Yowza! 739 00:18:58,422 --> 00:19:00,217 Okay. 740 00:19:00,258 --> 00:19:03,178 And the Oscar for Best 741 00:19:00,258 --> 00:19:03,178 Fake Romantic Speech 742 00:19:03,220 --> 00:19:05,180 goes to Barney Stinson. 743 00:19:05,222 --> 00:19:08,058 I'd like to thank all 744 00:19:05,222 --> 00:19:08,058 the ladies over the years 745 00:19:08,099 --> 00:19:10,268 with whom I've practiced 746 00:19:08,099 --> 00:19:10,268 fake romantic speeches 747 00:19:10,309 --> 00:19:11,853 and, of course, 748 00:19:10,309 --> 00:19:11,853 Robin Scherbatsky 749 00:19:11,895 --> 00:19:14,064 for being so 750 00:19:11,895 --> 00:19:14,064 hypnotized by hog 751 00:19:14,105 --> 00:19:15,815 that she needed me 752 00:19:14,105 --> 00:19:15,815 to come and save her. 753 00:19:15,857 --> 00:19:18,276 You know what? 754 00:19:15,857 --> 00:19:18,276 I didn't need your help. 755 00:19:18,317 --> 00:19:22,155 You were this close to ripping 756 00:19:18,317 --> 00:19:22,155 off his misbuttoned shirt 757 00:19:22,197 --> 00:19:25,533 and pulling down his 758 00:19:22,197 --> 00:19:25,533 inside-out underpants. 759 00:19:25,575 --> 00:19:28,870 I'll give you this, 760 00:19:25,575 --> 00:19:28,870 you were pretty convincing. 761 00:19:28,912 --> 00:19:31,330 Hey, tricking good-looking 762 00:19:28,912 --> 00:19:31,330 idiots is kind of my thing. 763 00:19:31,372 --> 00:19:33,541 No. 764 00:19:34,458 --> 00:19:38,462 I mean, you were 765 00:19:34,458 --> 00:19:38,462 really convincing. 766 00:19:41,799 --> 00:19:42,466 Please. 767 00:19:42,508 --> 00:19:44,219 I was bro-ing you out. 768 00:19:44,261 --> 00:19:46,429 I'm just glad 769 00:19:44,261 --> 00:19:46,429 he bought it so quick. 770 00:19:46,470 --> 00:19:50,767 Any longer, I'd have had 771 00:19:46,470 --> 00:19:50,767 to kiss you. 772 00:19:57,523 --> 00:19:58,816 Hello. 773 00:19:58,858 --> 00:20:00,860 Whoo, oh, my God, 774 00:19:58,858 --> 00:20:00,860 Robin, BFF Fun Day! 775 00:20:00,902 --> 00:20:02,237 That's the most 776 00:20:00,902 --> 00:20:02,237 amazing thing ever. 777 00:20:02,279 --> 00:20:05,282 Like, you totally read 778 00:20:02,279 --> 00:20:05,282 my mind... 779 00:20:02,279 --> 00:20:05,282 Hey, Patrice. 780 00:20:05,323 --> 00:20:07,617 Oh, you got the 781 00:20:05,323 --> 00:20:07,617 invite, great. 782 00:20:07,658 --> 00:20:09,410 Uh, yeah, uh, let 783 00:20:07,658 --> 00:20:09,410 me call you back. 784 00:20:09,452 --> 00:20:12,330 This is so fantastic, 785 00:20:09,452 --> 00:20:12,330 I can't even catch my breath. 786 00:20:09,452 --> 00:20:12,330 Mm-hmm, yeah. 787 00:20:12,371 --> 00:20:14,291 Yeah, yeah, yeah! 788 00:20:14,332 --> 00:20:15,750 You know 789 00:20:14,332 --> 00:20:15,750 what I forgot to do? 790 00:20:15,792 --> 00:20:17,835 ("Signed, Sealed, Delivered" 791 00:20:15,792 --> 00:20:17,835 by Stevie Wonder playing) 792 00:20:36,729 --> 00:20:37,814 Hey, T-Squares. 793 00:20:37,855 --> 00:20:39,816 Well, bad news. 794 00:20:39,857 --> 00:20:41,692 Heard back 795 00:20:39,857 --> 00:20:41,692 from the league office. 796 00:20:41,734 --> 00:20:44,487 My shot is not going to count. 797 00:20:44,528 --> 00:20:46,948 But onwards and upwards, right? 798 00:20:46,990 --> 00:20:48,366 What do you cats want 799 00:20:48,407 --> 00:20:50,034 to rap about, huh? 800 00:20:50,076 --> 00:20:52,912 Listen, Coach... you're great. 801 00:20:52,954 --> 00:20:56,624 And we all really 802 00:20:52,954 --> 00:20:56,624 want to stay friends. 803 00:20:59,502 --> 00:21:01,296 I can change, I can... 804 00:21:01,338 --> 00:21:04,382 Come on, we, we had 805 00:21:01,338 --> 00:21:04,382 some good times. 806 00:21:04,423 --> 00:21:07,760 Things have been 807 00:21:04,423 --> 00:21:07,760 weird lately and... 808 00:21:07,802 --> 00:21:09,762 Is there another 809 00:21:07,802 --> 00:21:09,762 architect? Just tell me.