1 00:00:01,661 --> 00:00:05,706 Kids, in late 2012, I received 2 00:00:01,661 --> 00:00:05,706 a very important text message. 3 00:00:09,752 --> 00:00:13,256 Uncle Barney and Aunt Robin 4 00:00:09,752 --> 00:00:13,256 were engaged, 5 00:00:13,298 --> 00:00:17,176 marking a truly happy time 6 00:00:13,298 --> 00:00:17,176 for our little group. 7 00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:19,220 The problem was 8 00:00:19,262 --> 00:00:22,140 one of us was 9 00:00:19,262 --> 00:00:22,140 definitely not happy. 10 00:00:24,058 --> 00:00:26,144 Marvin will not 11 00:00:24,058 --> 00:00:26,144 stop crying. 12 00:00:26,185 --> 00:00:28,438 What do you guys think it is? 13 00:00:26,185 --> 00:00:28,438 Is he hungry? 14 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:30,940 Well, that must be it. 15 00:00:30,982 --> 00:00:32,024 Huh! 16 00:00:32,066 --> 00:00:34,235 Thank you for thinking 17 00:00:32,066 --> 00:00:34,235 of that, Ted. 18 00:00:34,277 --> 00:00:36,279 And here we were 19 00:00:34,277 --> 00:00:36,279 just watering him 20 00:00:36,321 --> 00:00:38,030 and facing him 21 00:00:36,321 --> 00:00:38,030 towards the sunlight. 22 00:00:38,948 --> 00:00:41,534 Sorry, I haven't slept in... 23 00:00:41,576 --> 00:00:42,868 January. 24 00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:43,911 Food going in 25 00:00:43,953 --> 00:00:45,497 isn't the problem, 26 00:00:45,538 --> 00:00:47,624 it's what's coming out, 27 00:00:45,538 --> 00:00:47,624 or not coming out. 28 00:00:47,666 --> 00:00:49,417 He hasn't pooped 29 00:00:47,666 --> 00:00:49,417 in three days. 30 00:00:49,459 --> 00:00:50,585 Yeah, normally 31 00:00:50,627 --> 00:00:52,545 I wouldn't wish one 32 00:00:50,627 --> 00:00:52,545 of his dirty diapers 33 00:00:52,587 --> 00:00:55,965 on my worst enemy, 34 00:00:52,587 --> 00:00:55,965 but now I kind of miss 35 00:00:56,007 --> 00:00:57,883 popping the hood 36 00:00:56,007 --> 00:00:57,883 in the morning 37 00:00:57,925 --> 00:01:00,303 and finding that first 38 00:00:57,925 --> 00:01:00,303 big juicy, black... 39 00:01:00,345 --> 00:01:03,055 Lily, I'm eating chili. 40 00:01:03,097 --> 00:01:04,932 I'm eating chili, Lily. 41 00:01:04,974 --> 00:01:06,851 Confetti. 42 00:01:06,892 --> 00:01:08,019 Big blast of confetti. 43 00:01:08,060 --> 00:01:10,855 Normally, the kid's 44 00:01:08,060 --> 00:01:10,855 a confetti machine. 45 00:01:10,896 --> 00:01:12,440 He's Rip Taylor 46 00:01:10,896 --> 00:01:12,440 in a diaper. 47 00:01:12,482 --> 00:01:13,774 I have a feeling 48 00:01:13,816 --> 00:01:15,067 at this point, Rip Taylor 49 00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:16,486 is Rip Taylor in a diaper. 50 00:01:16,528 --> 00:01:19,364 And with that image, 51 00:01:16,528 --> 00:01:19,364 dinner is done. 52 00:01:19,405 --> 00:01:21,324 Hey, guys. 53 00:01:19,405 --> 00:01:21,324 Hey. 54 00:01:19,405 --> 00:01:21,324 Well, well, well. 55 00:01:21,366 --> 00:01:22,783 Here comes the bride. 56 00:01:22,825 --> 00:01:25,119 Now the annoying part, right? 57 00:01:25,161 --> 00:01:26,746 Planning the wedding? 58 00:01:26,787 --> 00:01:28,080 So not fun, right? 59 00:01:28,122 --> 00:01:30,333 I don't know... I'm kind of 60 00:01:28,122 --> 00:01:30,333 looking forward to it. 61 00:01:30,375 --> 00:01:31,959 Fine, I'll do it for you. 62 00:01:32,001 --> 00:01:34,170 First thing we need 63 00:01:32,001 --> 00:01:34,170 to do is set a date. 64 00:01:34,212 --> 00:01:35,796 May 25, 2013. 65 00:01:35,838 --> 00:01:36,797 Thank you, Ted. 66 00:01:36,839 --> 00:01:38,174 The ladies are talking. 67 00:01:38,216 --> 00:01:39,509 Actually, that is the date. 68 00:01:39,551 --> 00:01:42,887 Ted offered to help 69 00:01:39,551 --> 00:01:42,887 with the planning a little. 70 00:01:42,928 --> 00:01:45,306 And, well, uh... 71 00:01:45,348 --> 00:01:46,516 That's a big binder. 72 00:01:46,558 --> 00:01:47,684 Oh, this? 73 00:01:47,726 --> 00:01:49,185 This is just cakes. 74 00:01:50,353 --> 00:01:51,979 Anyway, we're having 75 00:01:50,353 --> 00:01:51,979 the ceremony 76 00:01:52,021 --> 00:01:53,773 at that beautiful little 77 00:01:52,021 --> 00:01:53,773 church out on Long Island, 78 00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:56,150 where Victoria almost got 79 00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:56,150 married... lovely spot. 80 00:01:56,192 --> 00:01:58,695 And then we're gonna have a 81 00:01:56,192 --> 00:01:58,695 reception in a big white tent 82 00:01:58,737 --> 00:02:00,363 on the front lawn 83 00:01:58,737 --> 00:02:00,363 of the hotel. 84 00:02:00,405 --> 00:02:02,907 Oh, and, uh, the 85 00:02:00,405 --> 00:02:02,907 colors are cream 86 00:02:02,948 --> 00:02:04,409 and lilac. 87 00:02:05,951 --> 00:02:07,953 I will cut you, bitch. 88 00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:09,247 No, L-L-Lily... 89 00:02:22,051 --> 00:02:24,512 Whoa, whoa, 90 00:02:22,051 --> 00:02:24,512 whoa, whoa. 91 00:02:24,554 --> 00:02:26,347 I'm cool, I'm cool. 92 00:02:26,389 --> 00:02:27,139 Hey, Robin, where's Barney? 93 00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:30,643 Did he skip town already? 94 00:02:30,685 --> 00:02:32,186 If so, exactly 95 00:02:30,685 --> 00:02:32,186 what time was it? 96 00:02:32,228 --> 00:02:34,564 It's important 97 00:02:32,228 --> 00:02:34,564 for the over/under. 98 00:02:34,606 --> 00:02:38,359 Barney's fine, it's just... 99 00:02:34,606 --> 00:02:38,359 well, earlier this morning... 100 00:02:38,401 --> 00:02:41,446 So, it's been three days 101 00:02:38,401 --> 00:02:41,446 since I said yes. 102 00:02:41,487 --> 00:02:42,488 True. 103 00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:43,281 And your panic 104 00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:43,281 attacks are getting 105 00:02:43,322 --> 00:02:44,449 shorter and further apart. 106 00:02:44,490 --> 00:02:49,203 I can't do this! 107 00:02:44,490 --> 00:02:49,203 I feel like I'm drowning! 108 00:02:49,245 --> 00:02:51,247 Also true. 109 00:02:51,289 --> 00:02:52,873 So I guess we're 110 00:02:51,289 --> 00:02:52,873 officially engaged. 111 00:02:52,915 --> 00:02:54,542 Maybe we should 112 00:02:52,915 --> 00:02:54,542 tell our parents. 113 00:02:54,584 --> 00:02:56,461 I assume my dad already knows... 114 00:02:54,584 --> 00:02:56,461 you did call him 115 00:02:56,502 --> 00:02:57,295 and got his permission, right? 116 00:02:57,336 --> 00:02:59,422 Yeah, yeah, Robin. 117 00:02:59,464 --> 00:03:02,634 I bought you with an ox 118 00:02:59,464 --> 00:03:02,634 and some spices from the East. 119 00:03:02,675 --> 00:03:04,803 Uh, he's gonna put 120 00:03:02,675 --> 00:03:04,803 you in a cage. 121 00:03:04,844 --> 00:03:08,347 and send you on horseback 122 00:03:04,844 --> 00:03:08,347 to my remote desert camp. 123 00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:10,224 Okay, Barney... 124 00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:10,224 Hold on, I'm not done. 125 00:03:10,266 --> 00:03:13,269 Where you'll be bathed 126 00:03:10,266 --> 00:03:13,269 in perfumes and oils 127 00:03:13,311 --> 00:03:14,813 and delivered to my tent. 128 00:03:14,854 --> 00:03:15,980 After you perform 129 00:03:14,854 --> 00:03:15,980 the traditional 130 00:03:16,021 --> 00:03:18,566 Dance of the Seven Veils, 131 00:03:16,021 --> 00:03:18,566 we'll adjourn 132 00:03:18,608 --> 00:03:20,443 to the tiger skin 133 00:03:18,608 --> 00:03:20,443 rug where we'll... 134 00:03:20,485 --> 00:03:21,986 Barney... 135 00:03:20,485 --> 00:03:21,986 Robin! 136 00:03:22,027 --> 00:03:24,196 If we're gonna build 137 00:03:22,027 --> 00:03:24,196 a marriage together, 138 00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:27,199 we have got to stop interrupting 139 00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:27,199 each other all the time. 140 00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:28,785 Fine, finish your story. 141 00:03:28,827 --> 00:03:29,786 Thank you. 142 00:03:30,953 --> 00:03:34,415 Where we'll do it. 143 00:03:34,457 --> 00:03:35,667 Did you ask 144 00:03:34,457 --> 00:03:35,667 for my father's permission? 145 00:03:35,708 --> 00:03:37,001 No, I did not. 146 00:03:37,042 --> 00:03:40,630 So, as some of you know, 147 00:03:37,042 --> 00:03:40,630 my dad is a little scary. 148 00:03:40,672 --> 00:03:44,634 A little? Dude's a 149 00:03:40,672 --> 00:03:44,634 stone cold Slytherin. 150 00:03:44,676 --> 00:03:46,260 He always looks like he 151 00:03:44,676 --> 00:03:46,260 just came from slapping 152 00:03:46,302 --> 00:03:48,888 some guy tied to a 153 00:03:46,302 --> 00:03:48,888 chair in a back room. 154 00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:50,807 Anyway, we go get lunch... 155 00:03:50,849 --> 00:03:52,642 Look, I know I already 156 00:03:50,849 --> 00:03:52,642 told you this, 157 00:03:52,684 --> 00:03:55,520 but my dad is a scary guy. 158 00:03:55,561 --> 00:03:58,397 Please, I think 159 00:03:55,561 --> 00:03:58,397 I can handle... 160 00:03:59,649 --> 00:04:01,651 Oh, vampire in the daylight, 161 00:03:59,649 --> 00:04:01,651 vampire in the daylight! 162 00:04:01,693 --> 00:04:03,277 Oh, my God. 163 00:04:05,154 --> 00:04:06,322 Hello, Robin. 164 00:04:06,364 --> 00:04:08,282 Hello, sir. 165 00:04:08,324 --> 00:04:09,701 Put that thing away, 166 00:04:09,742 --> 00:04:11,410 Give your old man a hug. 167 00:04:14,205 --> 00:04:16,875 And then it got 168 00:04:14,205 --> 00:04:16,875 really scary. 169 00:04:16,916 --> 00:04:18,334 I'm glad you could 170 00:04:16,916 --> 00:04:18,334 meet me here 171 00:04:18,376 --> 00:04:20,461 at my favorite 172 00:04:18,376 --> 00:04:20,461 restaurant. 173 00:04:20,503 --> 00:04:23,130 Carol and I come 174 00:04:20,503 --> 00:04:23,130 here all the time. 175 00:04:23,172 --> 00:04:25,341 I... you... 176 00:04:25,383 --> 00:04:27,510 When... Da... 177 00:04:25,383 --> 00:04:27,510 who's Carol? 178 00:04:27,552 --> 00:04:29,345 Oh, right, 179 00:04:27,552 --> 00:04:29,345 you haven't met Carol, um... 180 00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:31,597 Very special woman. 181 00:04:31,639 --> 00:04:34,642 48 years old, dental 182 00:04:31,639 --> 00:04:34,642 hygienist, no kids. 183 00:04:34,684 --> 00:04:37,478 Likes Zumba. 184 00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:39,480 She's the reason I moved 185 00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:39,480 to New York City. 186 00:04:39,522 --> 00:04:41,900 Eight months ago. 187 00:04:39,522 --> 00:04:41,900 Thanks for the call, by the way. 188 00:04:41,941 --> 00:04:43,984 Well, I figured you knew. 189 00:04:44,026 --> 00:04:45,319 It's on my Facebook page. 190 00:04:45,361 --> 00:04:48,280 You really should respond 191 00:04:45,361 --> 00:04:48,280 to my friend request. 192 00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:50,867 I post a lot of great stuff. 193 00:04:50,909 --> 00:04:52,535 Are you familiar with memes? 194 00:04:52,577 --> 00:04:54,787 There's a cat who says, 195 00:04:54,829 --> 00:04:56,539 "I can has cheeseburger?" 196 00:04:56,581 --> 00:04:58,958 Okay, what the hell 197 00:04:56,581 --> 00:04:58,958 happened to you? 198 00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:03,337 Robin, I know in the past, 199 00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:03,337 I have been... 200 00:05:03,379 --> 00:05:05,423 emotionally distant. 201 00:05:05,464 --> 00:05:06,465 But Carol has 202 00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:09,385 brought out a whole 203 00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:09,385 new side of me. 204 00:05:09,427 --> 00:05:11,763 I have a new outlook 205 00:05:09,427 --> 00:05:11,763 on life 206 00:05:11,804 --> 00:05:15,140 a devil-may-care insouciance 207 00:05:11,804 --> 00:05:15,140 that embodies the credo, 208 00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:18,102 "No shirt, no shoes, 209 00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:18,102 no problem." 210 00:05:18,143 --> 00:05:20,312 Robin... 211 00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:21,480 I'm fun now. 212 00:05:21,522 --> 00:05:23,190 Oh, God. 213 00:05:23,232 --> 00:05:25,526 He's fun now? 214 00:05:23,232 --> 00:05:25,526 That does not sound fun. 215 00:05:25,568 --> 00:05:27,904 No child should have to see 216 00:05:25,568 --> 00:05:27,904 a parent go through that. 217 00:05:27,946 --> 00:05:29,948 Well, it probably took 218 00:05:27,946 --> 00:05:29,948 some of the pressure 219 00:05:29,989 --> 00:05:32,324 off the Barney of it all. 220 00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:33,701 Sir, hi. 221 00:05:33,743 --> 00:05:35,954 My name 222 00:05:33,743 --> 00:05:35,954 is Barney Stinson. 223 00:05:35,995 --> 00:05:38,372 This is Barney? 224 00:05:38,414 --> 00:05:40,792 This man is blond. 225 00:05:40,833 --> 00:05:42,376 Grown men are not blond. 226 00:05:42,418 --> 00:05:43,502 Dad. 227 00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:45,129 Pleased to meet you. 228 00:05:45,170 --> 00:05:47,799 That's a very... 229 00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:49,216 fun hair color. 230 00:05:49,258 --> 00:05:51,761 That's nothing... when he met me, 231 00:05:49,258 --> 00:05:51,761 his first words were, 232 00:05:51,803 --> 00:05:53,012 "Nice blouse." 233 00:05:51,803 --> 00:05:53,012 You were wearing a blouse. 234 00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:54,597 It was not a blouse! 235 00:05:54,639 --> 00:05:55,640 Oh, great. 236 00:05:54,639 --> 00:05:55,640 You're all here. 237 00:05:55,681 --> 00:05:56,891 Let's talk 238 00:05:55,681 --> 00:05:56,891 about our wedding band. 239 00:05:56,933 --> 00:05:59,018 How much do you guys think 240 00:05:56,933 --> 00:05:59,018 they should rock? 241 00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:00,436 'Cause I vote, a million. 242 00:06:00,478 --> 00:06:04,398 Yeah, yeah, I think we 243 00:06:00,478 --> 00:06:04,398 already settled on a DJ, so... 244 00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:06,525 Lily, do you remember 245 00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:06,525 the band you guys 246 00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:07,526 almost hired 247 00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:07,526 for your wedding? 248 00:06:07,568 --> 00:06:08,694 Remember them? 249 00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:10,947 I'll call them up 250 00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:10,947 and book them for you. 251 00:06:10,989 --> 00:06:12,197 Just say the word. 252 00:06:12,239 --> 00:06:14,617 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I feel 253 00:06:12,239 --> 00:06:14,617 like we keep coming back 254 00:06:14,659 --> 00:06:16,535 to this DJ thing. 255 00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:17,578 What do you think, baby? 256 00:06:17,620 --> 00:06:18,704 Yeah, I don't think 257 00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:20,581 anyone should book anything 258 00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:20,581 right now. 259 00:06:20,623 --> 00:06:22,583 Why not? 260 00:06:22,625 --> 00:06:25,419 Well, I am going to go the room 261 00:06:22,625 --> 00:06:25,419 marked "Spaghettis," 262 00:06:25,461 --> 00:06:27,212 which I'm hoping 263 00:06:25,461 --> 00:06:27,212 is the ladies room. 264 00:06:27,254 --> 00:06:29,214 "Meatballs" has 265 00:06:27,254 --> 00:06:29,214 to be men's, right? 266 00:06:29,256 --> 00:06:30,466 I don't know 267 00:06:29,256 --> 00:06:30,466 what the hell 268 00:06:30,508 --> 00:06:31,884 "Calamaris" is. 269 00:06:37,682 --> 00:06:39,099 Um... 270 00:06:40,225 --> 00:06:41,185 Sir, I-I-I... 271 00:06:41,226 --> 00:06:42,436 Permission denied. 272 00:06:42,478 --> 00:06:43,604 Ooh. 273 00:06:43,646 --> 00:06:46,315 And it turns out, 274 00:06:43,646 --> 00:06:46,315 "spaghettis" are men. 275 00:06:46,357 --> 00:06:49,151 I saw a noodle. 276 00:06:53,698 --> 00:06:56,701 He said no? 277 00:06:53,698 --> 00:06:56,701 Yeah, I don't know 278 00:06:53,698 --> 00:06:56,701 what we're gonna do. 279 00:06:56,742 --> 00:06:58,494 Relax, baby. 280 00:06:56,742 --> 00:06:58,494 I got this. 281 00:06:58,536 --> 00:07:00,120 I know how to be persuasive. 282 00:07:00,162 --> 00:07:02,665 The next day, 283 00:07:00,162 --> 00:07:02,665 Uncle Barney met Robin's dad 284 00:07:02,707 --> 00:07:04,291 for lunch 285 00:07:02,707 --> 00:07:04,291 at the same restaurant. 286 00:07:04,333 --> 00:07:06,251 This time, with a plan. 287 00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:08,046 Hello, 288 00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:08,046 Mr. Scherbatsky. 289 00:07:08,087 --> 00:07:10,965 I think we got off 290 00:07:08,087 --> 00:07:10,965 on the wrong foot. 291 00:07:11,841 --> 00:07:13,926 You have my attention. 292 00:07:13,968 --> 00:07:15,511 I left the meatball at home 293 00:07:15,553 --> 00:07:17,346 so I could talk to you 294 00:07:15,553 --> 00:07:17,346 spaghetti to spaghetti. 295 00:07:17,388 --> 00:07:18,639 Sir... 296 00:07:18,681 --> 00:07:21,475 I'm very serious 297 00:07:18,681 --> 00:07:21,475 about marrying your daughter. 298 00:07:21,517 --> 00:07:26,647 Barney, when I wanted 299 00:07:21,517 --> 00:07:26,647 to marry Robin's mother, 300 00:07:26,689 --> 00:07:29,025 I slaughtered 301 00:07:26,689 --> 00:07:29,025 a whole family of bears 302 00:07:29,067 --> 00:07:30,442 with my bare hands. 303 00:07:30,484 --> 00:07:31,276 I gave 304 00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:34,655 the pelts and the bear meat 305 00:07:34,697 --> 00:07:37,033 to her father as tribute. 306 00:07:37,075 --> 00:07:40,160 You know what we call that 307 00:07:37,075 --> 00:07:40,160 in Canada? 308 00:07:40,202 --> 00:07:41,662 Manners. 309 00:07:41,704 --> 00:07:43,706 Would either 310 00:07:41,704 --> 00:07:43,706 of you like a mudslide? 311 00:07:43,748 --> 00:07:46,667 I just had one. 312 00:07:43,748 --> 00:07:46,667 Thank you. 313 00:07:46,709 --> 00:07:50,129 I'll have a Jazzy Pizzazzy 314 00:07:46,709 --> 00:07:50,129 Razzleberry Rainbow Milkshake 315 00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:52,256 with a swirly straw? 316 00:07:52,297 --> 00:07:54,633 You didn't say the magic word. 317 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:57,887 I'll go get your drink. 318 00:07:59,013 --> 00:08:00,347 Still crying, huh? 319 00:08:00,389 --> 00:08:02,349 Yeah. We've tried 320 00:08:00,389 --> 00:08:02,349 everything short 321 00:08:02,391 --> 00:08:04,894 of a pack of smokes 322 00:08:02,391 --> 00:08:04,894 and a cup of coffee. 323 00:08:04,936 --> 00:08:06,896 Still nothing but clean dipeys. 324 00:08:06,938 --> 00:08:08,647 There's only one 325 00:08:06,938 --> 00:08:08,647 explanation for this. 326 00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:11,067 Marvin 327 00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:11,067 has potty-trained himself. 328 00:08:11,109 --> 00:08:12,944 He sneaks into the bathroom 329 00:08:11,109 --> 00:08:12,944 while we're sleeping. 330 00:08:12,985 --> 00:08:14,528 I'll ask Barney 331 00:08:12,985 --> 00:08:14,528 to check the tapes. 332 00:08:14,570 --> 00:08:16,697 Barney has cameras 333 00:08:14,570 --> 00:08:16,697 in our bathroom? 334 00:08:16,739 --> 00:08:19,117 Well, I mean, don't you think? 335 00:08:19,158 --> 00:08:21,493 Hey, guys. 336 00:08:19,158 --> 00:08:21,493 Robin, good. 337 00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:23,328 You're here. Bad news. 338 00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:26,290 That wedding band you wanted 339 00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:26,290 is booked for May 25. 340 00:08:26,331 --> 00:08:28,709 Oh, no. What are you gonna do? 341 00:08:28,751 --> 00:08:31,503 Oh! Oh, hey! Here's an idea. 342 00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:33,672 Oh, God, Ted, 343 00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:33,672 if you suggest a DJ... 344 00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:34,882 Far from it. 345 00:08:34,924 --> 00:08:36,717 I was going to suggest a band. 346 00:08:36,759 --> 00:08:39,137 A band called... 347 00:08:36,759 --> 00:08:39,137 Kool and the Gang. 348 00:08:39,178 --> 00:08:40,763 Robin, 349 00:08:40,805 --> 00:08:42,347 would you like for me 350 00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:44,683 to get Kool and the Gang 351 00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:44,683 to play at your wedding? 352 00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:47,103 Uh... I... yeah, guess so. 353 00:08:47,145 --> 00:08:49,147 And would it be okay 354 00:08:47,145 --> 00:08:49,147 if they invited their friends, 355 00:08:49,188 --> 00:08:51,440 Beyonce and-and ABBA: 356 00:08:51,482 --> 00:08:52,608 and the Bee Gees, 357 00:08:52,650 --> 00:08:55,111 and Journey, 358 00:08:52,650 --> 00:08:55,111 and Queen? 359 00:08:55,153 --> 00:08:56,112 What? You're...? 360 00:08:55,153 --> 00:08:56,112 What are you say...? 361 00:08:56,154 --> 00:08:57,780 How... how is that 362 00:08:56,154 --> 00:08:57,780 even possible? 363 00:08:57,822 --> 00:08:58,906 I'll tell you how. 364 00:08:58,948 --> 00:09:00,365 You hire a DJ. 365 00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:01,742 Wicka-wicka-wicka-burn. 366 00:09:01,784 --> 00:09:03,786 Ugh! 367 00:09:01,784 --> 00:09:03,786 God, this is, like, 368 00:09:03,828 --> 00:09:05,913 the fifteenth time my dad 369 00:09:03,828 --> 00:09:05,913 has sent me a friend request. 370 00:09:05,955 --> 00:09:07,289 I'm just gonna hit "accept." 371 00:09:07,331 --> 00:09:09,333 No, no, no. 372 00:09:07,331 --> 00:09:09,333 No, no, no, no, 373 00:09:07,331 --> 00:09:09,333 don't do it, Robin. 374 00:09:09,374 --> 00:09:12,377 You don't want to see 375 00:09:09,374 --> 00:09:12,377 what's behind that door. 376 00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:13,545 What are you talking about? 377 00:09:13,587 --> 00:09:15,006 He's talking about 378 00:09:15,047 --> 00:09:18,801 my mom's 2,000-word review 379 00:09:15,047 --> 00:09:18,801 of Fifty Shades of Grey. 380 00:09:18,843 --> 00:09:21,971 And 14 of those words 381 00:09:18,843 --> 00:09:21,971 were "vulva." 382 00:09:22,013 --> 00:09:25,224 You're gonna get endless 383 00:09:22,013 --> 00:09:25,224 requests to play some game 384 00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:27,977 that has something to do 385 00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:27,977 with gangsters and farming. 386 00:09:28,019 --> 00:09:29,979 Never mind the embarrassing 387 00:09:28,019 --> 00:09:29,979 cheerleading photos 388 00:09:30,021 --> 00:09:31,189 from high school. 389 00:09:31,230 --> 00:09:33,732 Begged my mom to burn those. 390 00:09:31,230 --> 00:09:33,732 Robin, 391 00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:37,820 trust me, no good can come from 392 00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:37,820 accepting that friend request. 393 00:09:37,862 --> 00:09:41,782 Yeah, I-I think I may have given 394 00:09:37,862 --> 00:09:41,782 you guys the wrong impression. 395 00:09:41,824 --> 00:09:42,783 Okay, my dad 396 00:09:42,825 --> 00:09:44,618 is actually not 397 00:09:42,825 --> 00:09:44,618 that bad of a guy. 398 00:09:44,660 --> 00:09:47,371 Do it, Barney. 399 00:09:44,660 --> 00:09:47,371 Squeeze that trigger. 400 00:09:47,412 --> 00:09:48,956 I don't want to do this. 401 00:09:48,998 --> 00:09:51,209 Well, you think I wanted 402 00:09:48,998 --> 00:09:51,209 to kill that bear? 403 00:09:51,250 --> 00:09:52,835 Yeah, kind of. 404 00:09:51,250 --> 00:09:52,835 Oh, yeah, 405 00:09:51,250 --> 00:09:52,835 you're right. 406 00:09:54,670 --> 00:09:57,006 I can't do this. 407 00:09:58,465 --> 00:09:59,842 Oh. 408 00:09:59,884 --> 00:10:02,887 What... what the hell is this? 409 00:10:02,928 --> 00:10:03,929 Your dad is crazy! 410 00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:06,640 He wanted me 411 00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:06,640 to kill Fluffernutter! 412 00:10:06,682 --> 00:10:08,767 I told you not 413 00:10:06,682 --> 00:10:08,767 to give him a name! 414 00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:09,768 Well, I did! 415 00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:12,230 I gave him a name 416 00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:12,230 and a backstory! 417 00:10:12,271 --> 00:10:13,647 He comes from a magical 418 00:10:12,271 --> 00:10:13,647 rabbit warren 419 00:10:13,689 --> 00:10:14,982 underneath the old 420 00:10:13,689 --> 00:10:14,982 rusty tractor. 421 00:10:15,024 --> 00:10:17,693 He was the runt of the litter, 422 00:10:15,024 --> 00:10:17,693 but he persevered. 423 00:10:17,735 --> 00:10:20,196 He... 424 00:10:17,735 --> 00:10:20,196 Oh, give me this. 425 00:10:17,735 --> 00:10:20,196 Give it to me! 426 00:10:20,238 --> 00:10:21,989 Dad, 427 00:10:22,031 --> 00:10:24,200 is there, um, 428 00:10:22,031 --> 00:10:24,200 something you want to tell me? 429 00:10:25,659 --> 00:10:28,287 Well, in the early '80s, 430 00:10:25,659 --> 00:10:28,287 I did some wet work for the CIA. 431 00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:30,248 Yes, Daddy, 432 00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:30,248 I remember the bedtime stories. 433 00:10:30,289 --> 00:10:32,833 No, I'm, uh, talking 434 00:10:30,289 --> 00:10:32,833 about your Facebook page? 435 00:10:32,875 --> 00:10:34,752 It says you're married. 436 00:10:34,793 --> 00:10:36,712 Well... 437 00:10:36,754 --> 00:10:39,715 yes, uh, Carol and I were 438 00:10:36,754 --> 00:10:39,715 in Key Largo 439 00:10:39,757 --> 00:10:42,551 at a performance of the 440 00:10:39,757 --> 00:10:42,551 recording artist James Buffett. 441 00:10:42,593 --> 00:10:45,012 We're what are known 442 00:10:42,593 --> 00:10:45,012 as Parrotheads. 443 00:10:45,054 --> 00:10:46,055 And, uh, 444 00:10:46,097 --> 00:10:48,057 well, one thing led 445 00:10:48,099 --> 00:10:51,435 to the other, and, uh... 446 00:10:51,476 --> 00:10:52,895 we got married. 447 00:10:52,937 --> 00:10:54,897 You didn't want 448 00:10:52,937 --> 00:10:54,897 to tell me about it? 449 00:10:54,939 --> 00:10:57,858 I Facebooked it... 450 00:10:54,939 --> 00:10:57,858 on Facebook. 451 00:10:57,900 --> 00:10:59,693 Okay, you know what, Dad? 452 00:10:59,735 --> 00:11:02,529 Since you obviously have 453 00:10:59,735 --> 00:11:02,529 no interest in involving me 454 00:11:02,571 --> 00:11:04,823 in your personal life, 455 00:11:02,571 --> 00:11:04,823 I may as well tell you: 456 00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:07,243 Barney and I are 457 00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:07,243 already engaged. 458 00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:10,704 That's right. 459 00:11:10,746 --> 00:11:12,748 I'm behind you 460 00:11:10,746 --> 00:11:12,748 on this, Robin. 461 00:11:12,790 --> 00:11:15,500 Directly behind you. 462 00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:16,668 Anyway, this is happening. 463 00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:18,921 And since I wasn't invited 464 00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:18,921 to your wedding, 465 00:11:18,963 --> 00:11:20,631 you're not invited to mine. 466 00:11:21,757 --> 00:11:23,008 Good-bye. 467 00:11:28,806 --> 00:11:30,724 Oh, no! 468 00:11:30,766 --> 00:11:33,435 Fluffernutter peed 469 00:11:30,766 --> 00:11:33,435 all over my pants! 470 00:11:39,775 --> 00:11:41,068 So, I just called up 471 00:11:41,110 --> 00:11:43,570 that wedding band's road manager 472 00:11:41,110 --> 00:11:43,570 to get the number 473 00:11:43,612 --> 00:11:45,823 of the people who booked them 474 00:11:43,612 --> 00:11:45,823 for the 25th, 475 00:11:45,864 --> 00:11:48,075 so I could bribe them into 476 00:11:45,864 --> 00:11:48,075 giving up the band. 477 00:11:48,117 --> 00:11:50,953 You did what? 478 00:11:48,117 --> 00:11:50,953 That is so dishonest! 479 00:11:50,995 --> 00:11:53,622 No matter what happens next, 480 00:11:50,995 --> 00:11:53,622 I think we can all agree, 481 00:11:53,664 --> 00:11:55,082 you're in the wrong here, 482 00:11:53,664 --> 00:11:55,082 Lily. 483 00:11:55,124 --> 00:11:56,625 It's your number, Ted. 484 00:11:56,667 --> 00:11:57,835 All right, you got me! 485 00:11:57,876 --> 00:12:00,712 I put a non-refundable 486 00:11:57,876 --> 00:12:00,712 deposit on that band 487 00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:02,923 to keep Barney and Robin 488 00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:02,923 from booking them. 489 00:12:02,965 --> 00:12:05,592 And I would've 490 00:12:02,965 --> 00:12:05,592 gotten away with it 491 00:12:05,634 --> 00:12:07,928 if it wasn't a really stupid 492 00:12:05,634 --> 00:12:07,928 and expensive plan. 493 00:12:07,970 --> 00:12:09,972 Dude, why would you do that? 494 00:12:10,014 --> 00:12:11,807 I don't see 495 00:12:10,014 --> 00:12:11,807 what the big deal is. 496 00:12:11,849 --> 00:12:13,392 The big deal is 497 00:12:11,849 --> 00:12:13,392 Robin deserves better 498 00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:15,353 than some crappy, 499 00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:15,353 unreliable band! 500 00:12:15,394 --> 00:12:16,812 Sure, bands seem cool 501 00:12:16,854 --> 00:12:19,815 with their nice suits and 502 00:12:16,854 --> 00:12:19,815 their well-rehearsed moves, 503 00:12:19,857 --> 00:12:22,985 but let's be honest: 504 00:12:19,857 --> 00:12:22,985 bands let you down. 505 00:12:23,027 --> 00:12:24,987 They-They cheat, they deceive, 506 00:12:23,027 --> 00:12:24,987 and God knows they've slept 507 00:12:25,029 --> 00:12:26,364 with every girl 508 00:12:25,029 --> 00:12:26,364 in New York City. 509 00:12:26,405 --> 00:12:28,240 I just, I can't believe 510 00:12:28,282 --> 00:12:29,825 Robin is going through 511 00:12:28,282 --> 00:12:29,825 with marrying... 512 00:12:29,867 --> 00:12:32,744 the idea of getting a band. 513 00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:35,622 And that is, that's a perfectly 514 00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:35,622 normal way to phrase that. 515 00:12:35,664 --> 00:12:38,583 Okay, Ted, bar. Now. 516 00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:40,752 Nice try. 517 00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:42,213 You're gonna stick 518 00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:42,213 me with that baby 519 00:12:42,254 --> 00:12:44,340 so that you guys 520 00:12:42,254 --> 00:12:44,340 can spend five minutes 521 00:12:44,382 --> 00:12:45,507 sorting out 522 00:12:44,382 --> 00:12:45,507 his love life, 523 00:12:45,549 --> 00:12:48,010 followed by an hour 524 00:12:45,549 --> 00:12:48,010 of you getting drunk 525 00:12:48,052 --> 00:12:49,928 and pretending to be 526 00:12:48,052 --> 00:12:49,928 in The Departed. 527 00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:51,930 You know what? 528 00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:51,930 I'm sorry, Lily, okay? 529 00:12:51,972 --> 00:12:53,849 But I just need to know: 530 00:12:53,891 --> 00:12:55,851 Are you a cop? 531 00:12:53,891 --> 00:12:55,851 I'm not a cop! 532 00:12:55,893 --> 00:12:57,811 Are you a cop? 533 00:12:55,893 --> 00:12:57,811 I'm not a cop! 534 00:12:57,853 --> 00:12:59,438 Uh-uh. 535 00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:00,814 I got this. 536 00:13:00,856 --> 00:13:03,401 Ted, you, me, upstairs. 537 00:13:00,856 --> 00:13:03,401 Roof. Now. 538 00:13:03,442 --> 00:13:05,027 What? It's January. 539 00:13:03,442 --> 00:13:05,027 Move! 540 00:13:06,278 --> 00:13:08,822 Let's cut the crap. 541 00:13:06,278 --> 00:13:08,822 We're both freezing... 542 00:13:08,864 --> 00:13:10,282 just say it 543 00:13:08,864 --> 00:13:10,282 and we can go downstairs. 544 00:13:10,324 --> 00:13:11,283 Say what? 545 00:13:11,325 --> 00:13:12,492 Say how much you hate 546 00:13:12,534 --> 00:13:14,661 that Robin and Barney 547 00:13:12,534 --> 00:13:14,661 are getting married. 548 00:13:14,703 --> 00:13:17,873 What? No. I... 549 00:13:14,703 --> 00:13:17,873 I'm happy for them. 550 00:13:17,915 --> 00:13:21,085 I-I encouraged Robin 551 00:13:17,915 --> 00:13:21,085 to go after Barney. 552 00:13:21,126 --> 00:13:23,795 I know... because you thought 553 00:13:21,126 --> 00:13:23,795 you were okay letting her go. 554 00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:25,214 But now that 555 00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:25,214 she's really gone, 556 00:13:25,256 --> 00:13:26,840 it hurts. 557 00:13:26,882 --> 00:13:29,260 Kids, at that point in my life, 558 00:13:29,301 --> 00:13:32,012 I'd been hurt 559 00:13:29,301 --> 00:13:32,012 quite a few times already. 560 00:13:32,054 --> 00:13:35,015 Today, we're gonna braid 561 00:13:32,054 --> 00:13:35,015 friendship bracelets. 562 00:13:42,273 --> 00:13:45,401 There is a very 563 00:13:42,273 --> 00:13:45,401 simple explana... ah! 564 00:13:45,443 --> 00:13:47,445 This one time, 565 00:13:45,443 --> 00:13:47,445 I was playing tennis, and... 566 00:13:49,447 --> 00:13:50,489 Ooh! 567 00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:52,199 Oh, ow! 568 00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:52,199 Ow! 569 00:13:54,952 --> 00:13:56,412 Hey, Schmosby, remember 570 00:13:54,952 --> 00:13:56,412 when you dookied 571 00:13:56,454 --> 00:13:58,080 in your pants 572 00:13:56,454 --> 00:13:58,080 down by the lake? 573 00:13:58,122 --> 00:14:00,124 Unbelievable! 574 00:14:07,965 --> 00:14:09,133 Do you love me? 575 00:14:10,092 --> 00:14:12,552 No. 576 00:14:14,096 --> 00:14:16,014 But when I saw 577 00:14:14,096 --> 00:14:16,014 that text message, 578 00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:18,100 and found out Robin 579 00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:18,100 was engaged, 580 00:14:18,142 --> 00:14:19,268 it was like: 581 00:14:22,896 --> 00:14:23,647 Unbelievable! 582 00:14:23,688 --> 00:14:25,690 No. 583 00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:28,860 times a million. 584 00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:31,113 I am happy for them. 585 00:14:31,155 --> 00:14:33,073 Is all you'll let yourself 586 00:14:31,155 --> 00:14:33,073 say out loud, 587 00:14:33,115 --> 00:14:35,493 because if you said anything 588 00:14:33,115 --> 00:14:35,493 to the contrary, well, 589 00:14:35,534 --> 00:14:36,576 that would make you 590 00:14:36,618 --> 00:14:39,079 the most awful person 591 00:14:36,618 --> 00:14:39,079 on this rooftop. 592 00:14:39,121 --> 00:14:41,499 So, I'm gonna give you an out. 593 00:14:41,540 --> 00:14:43,250 And how are you gonna do that? 594 00:14:43,292 --> 00:14:46,670 By saying something 595 00:14:43,292 --> 00:14:46,670 that is even more awful. 596 00:14:46,711 --> 00:14:48,506 Like what? 597 00:14:50,048 --> 00:14:52,092 Sometimes I wish 598 00:14:50,048 --> 00:14:52,092 I wasn't a mom. 599 00:14:52,134 --> 00:14:54,761 Sometimes I want to pack a bag 600 00:14:54,803 --> 00:14:58,056 and leave in the middle 601 00:14:54,803 --> 00:14:58,056 of the night and not come back. 602 00:15:01,810 --> 00:15:03,770 Robin shouldn't be with Barney, 603 00:15:03,812 --> 00:15:05,397 she should be with me. 604 00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:15,324 You serious? 605 00:15:15,366 --> 00:15:16,908 I don't know. 606 00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:19,744 I mean, I love 607 00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:19,744 being a mom, and... 608 00:15:19,786 --> 00:15:22,331 I love Marvin so much. 609 00:15:22,373 --> 00:15:23,582 But... 610 00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:24,916 but do you remember 611 00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:26,585 when I wanted to be an artist? 612 00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:28,587 Art was my whole life. 613 00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:30,172 And-and now it's been months 614 00:15:30,214 --> 00:15:32,341 since I've even 615 00:15:30,214 --> 00:15:32,341 picked up a brush. 616 00:15:32,383 --> 00:15:34,343 I-I spend the whole day 617 00:15:34,385 --> 00:15:35,969 taking care of kids at my job, 618 00:15:36,011 --> 00:15:38,138 and I come home 619 00:15:36,011 --> 00:15:38,138 and it's more of the same. 620 00:15:38,180 --> 00:15:39,557 It just... 621 00:15:39,598 --> 00:15:42,142 It never lets up, it... 622 00:15:42,184 --> 00:15:45,896 It's just really, 623 00:15:42,184 --> 00:15:45,896 really hard, Ted. 624 00:15:47,856 --> 00:15:50,150 Have you talked to Marshall 625 00:15:47,856 --> 00:15:50,150 about how you feel? 626 00:15:50,192 --> 00:15:53,404 Have you talked 627 00:15:50,192 --> 00:15:53,404 to Robin about how you feel? 628 00:15:53,445 --> 00:15:56,198 Fair enough. 629 00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:59,743 I just think we have to accept 630 00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:59,743 our lots in life, 631 00:15:59,784 --> 00:16:02,329 and I have to be a mom to a... 632 00:16:02,371 --> 00:16:04,373 a beautiful, wonderful... 633 00:16:04,415 --> 00:16:06,208 if slightly constipated... 634 00:16:06,250 --> 00:16:08,085 little boy, and... 635 00:16:08,126 --> 00:16:12,506 you have to let 636 00:16:08,126 --> 00:16:12,506 Robin and Barney get a band. 637 00:16:15,050 --> 00:16:16,843 All right, let's see 638 00:16:15,050 --> 00:16:16,843 what's in this dipey. 639 00:16:16,885 --> 00:16:19,012 Nothing. 640 00:16:20,639 --> 00:16:22,724 Absolutely nothing. 641 00:16:24,059 --> 00:16:25,685 Hey. 642 00:16:25,727 --> 00:16:28,606 Are you finally 643 00:16:25,727 --> 00:16:28,606 giving Daddy a smile? 644 00:16:28,647 --> 00:16:30,148 Oh! 645 00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:31,400 Oh, God! 646 00:16:31,442 --> 00:16:33,235 And, no, it wasn't confetti. 647 00:16:33,277 --> 00:16:34,528 Oh! 648 00:16:35,446 --> 00:16:37,573 Oh, God! 649 00:16:38,490 --> 00:16:40,700 Please! 650 00:16:42,411 --> 00:16:44,538 Holy confetti. 651 00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:47,583 That night, Robin agreed 652 00:16:47,625 --> 00:16:49,209 to meet her dad one more time. 653 00:16:49,251 --> 00:16:51,086 Your Dad has something to say. 654 00:16:55,257 --> 00:16:59,928 I'm sorry for getting married 655 00:16:55,257 --> 00:16:59,928 without consulting you. 656 00:16:59,970 --> 00:17:02,180 It was wrong of me. 657 00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:03,223 There. Now, Robin... 658 00:17:03,265 --> 00:17:04,391 I know that 659 00:17:03,265 --> 00:17:04,391 no mere 660 00:17:04,433 --> 00:17:06,560 apology will fix this. 661 00:17:07,519 --> 00:17:09,438 And that is why 662 00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:11,690 I've asked Carol for a divorce. 663 00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:13,150 What? 664 00:17:13,191 --> 00:17:15,068 She's heartbroken, 665 00:17:13,191 --> 00:17:15,068 understandably. 666 00:17:15,110 --> 00:17:16,236 Possibly suicidal. 667 00:17:16,278 --> 00:17:17,446 I did not tell him... 668 00:17:17,488 --> 00:17:19,239 But if that's 669 00:17:17,488 --> 00:17:19,239 the price 670 00:17:19,281 --> 00:17:21,825 for my daughter's love... 671 00:17:21,866 --> 00:17:24,453 then I will gladly 672 00:17:21,866 --> 00:17:24,453 let Carol pay it. 673 00:17:26,288 --> 00:17:28,666 Was that not what you wanted? 674 00:17:28,707 --> 00:17:30,750 You want to know what I want? 675 00:17:32,127 --> 00:17:34,296 A normal dad. That's all. 676 00:17:35,297 --> 00:17:36,881 I want you to give 677 00:17:35,297 --> 00:17:36,881 this blond guy 678 00:17:36,923 --> 00:17:38,300 permission to marry me. 679 00:17:38,342 --> 00:17:40,177 Come to the wedding, 680 00:17:38,342 --> 00:17:40,177 give me away, 681 00:17:40,218 --> 00:17:42,762 smile in the pictures, 682 00:17:40,218 --> 00:17:42,762 and then... 683 00:17:42,804 --> 00:17:46,057 dance with me like a normal dad. 684 00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:48,352 Is that too much to ask? 685 00:17:48,393 --> 00:17:49,186 "Of course not. 686 00:17:49,227 --> 00:17:51,980 "Oh, Robin, my darling girl, 687 00:17:52,022 --> 00:17:53,023 "of course 688 00:17:52,022 --> 00:17:53,023 I'll do all stuff. 689 00:17:53,064 --> 00:17:55,942 "I love you 690 00:17:53,064 --> 00:17:55,942 and I'm proud of you." 691 00:17:55,984 --> 00:17:57,695 He didn't say that? 692 00:17:57,736 --> 00:17:58,903 No. 693 00:17:58,945 --> 00:18:01,365 Fine. One dance... 694 00:18:01,406 --> 00:18:03,325 "Cheeseburger in Paradise." 695 00:18:03,367 --> 00:18:05,827 And Carol's going to sing it. 696 00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:09,665 Well, see you at the wedding. 697 00:18:09,707 --> 00:18:10,999 But it's kind of amazing. 698 00:18:11,041 --> 00:18:14,503 I mean, he's never apologized 699 00:18:11,041 --> 00:18:14,503 to me in his life. 700 00:18:14,545 --> 00:18:17,255 Barney made it happen. 701 00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:19,174 He must really love me. 702 00:18:19,216 --> 00:18:22,302 Well, he'd be crazy not to. 703 00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:26,724 I'm really happy for you guys. 704 00:18:26,765 --> 00:18:28,933 But I still think 705 00:18:26,765 --> 00:18:28,933 you should get a DJ. 706 00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:30,310 Ju-Ju.. 707 00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:30,310 For God's sakes, Ted. 708 00:18:30,352 --> 00:18:32,020 Hear me out. 709 00:18:32,062 --> 00:18:33,313 I made a pretty strong case 710 00:18:32,062 --> 00:18:33,313 that night, 711 00:18:33,355 --> 00:18:36,024 but in the end, 712 00:18:33,355 --> 00:18:36,024 she didn't want a DJ. 713 00:18:36,066 --> 00:18:37,359 She wanted a band. 714 00:18:37,401 --> 00:18:38,736 And guess what happened. 715 00:18:38,777 --> 00:18:41,530 That's right, the band cancelled 716 00:18:38,777 --> 00:18:41,530 at the last minute, 717 00:18:41,572 --> 00:18:43,365 just like I said they would. 718 00:18:43,407 --> 00:18:45,950 The wedding is in a week, 719 00:18:43,407 --> 00:18:45,950 and no bands. 720 00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:48,953 When will people realize 721 00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:48,953 I always know what's what? 722 00:18:48,995 --> 00:18:51,331 He says to the lesbian 723 00:18:48,995 --> 00:18:51,331 he dated for a month. 724 00:18:51,373 --> 00:18:52,999 That's a fair point. 725 00:18:53,041 --> 00:18:54,251 Anyway, you guys 726 00:18:54,292 --> 00:18:55,043 wouldn't, uh, happen to know 727 00:18:55,085 --> 00:18:56,211 of any good wedding bands 728 00:18:56,253 --> 00:18:59,339 available at the last minute, 729 00:18:56,253 --> 00:18:59,339 would you? 730 00:18:59,381 --> 00:19:01,966 Ted, do you believe 731 00:18:59,381 --> 00:19:01,966 in destiny? 732 00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:03,719 You really don't know me, 733 00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:03,719 do you? 734 00:19:03,761 --> 00:19:05,721 We just had brunch 735 00:19:03,761 --> 00:19:05,721 with my ex-roommate. 736 00:19:05,763 --> 00:19:06,764 The bass player? 737 00:19:06,805 --> 00:19:08,014 No, she's not 738 00:19:06,805 --> 00:19:08,014 just a bass player. 739 00:19:08,056 --> 00:19:10,225 She's a bass player 740 00:19:08,056 --> 00:19:10,225 in the best wedding band 741 00:19:10,267 --> 00:19:11,393 in the tri-state area. 742 00:19:11,435 --> 00:19:13,562 They had a gig lined up 743 00:19:11,435 --> 00:19:13,562 for this weekend, 744 00:19:13,604 --> 00:19:15,439 but it just fell through 745 00:19:13,604 --> 00:19:15,439 this morning. 746 00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:18,191 You, my friend, are 747 00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:18,191 gonna save that wedding. 748 00:19:18,233 --> 00:19:19,943 Do you know any DJs? 749 00:19:19,984 --> 00:19:20,860 Dude, come on. 750 00:19:20,902 --> 00:19:22,654 Let it go, bro. 751 00:19:20,902 --> 00:19:22,654 Just let it go. 752 00:19:22,696 --> 00:19:23,822 All right, all right. 753 00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:25,031 All right. 754 00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:25,031 Well, I guess, uh... 755 00:19:25,073 --> 00:19:28,285 Guess it's a lucky thing 756 00:19:25,073 --> 00:19:28,285 I ran into you guys. 757 00:19:28,326 --> 00:19:31,955 And, kids, "lucky" doesn't 758 00:19:28,326 --> 00:19:31,955 even begin to describe it. 759 00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:40,171 Because if Barney and Robin 760 00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:40,171 had taken my stupid advice 761 00:19:40,213 --> 00:19:42,340 and hired a DJ... 762 00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:49,681 I never would have 763 00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:49,681 met your mother.