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Kids, sometimes when

2
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you're about to give up

3
00:00:03,232 --> 00:00:05,443
on your love life forever

4
00:00:03,232 --> 00:00:05,443
for the 17th time,

5
00:00:05,484 --> 00:00:07,779
destiny intervenes.

6
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Instead of rushing in,

7
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I took my time

8
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to think up the perfect

9
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opening line.

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Wait, no, damn it,

11
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come back! You're really...

12
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You're pretty!

13
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And before I could call

14
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out after her,

15
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in any kind of embarrassing way

16
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that a bunch of teenagers made

17
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fun of for the next five stops

18
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while I stared straight ahead

19
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and pretended not to hear them,

20
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she was gone.

21
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But here's the thing

22
00:00:27,172 --> 00:00:30,342
about Ted Mosby:

23
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he doesn't give up.

24
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Stalker Ted alert.

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Repeat, Stalker

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00:00:33,387 --> 00:00:34,889
Ted alert.

27
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Already has a yellow

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legal pad going.

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Repeat, already has

30
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a yellow legal pad going.

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I'm not stalking.

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I just jotted down

33
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a few details

34
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to help me find her.

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Uh, like the fact

36
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that her smile was cute,

37
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but a bit crooked,

38
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which can be a sign

39
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of teeth grinding.

40
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So I called up

41
00:00:49,528 --> 00:00:51,071
the city's

42
00:00:51,113 --> 00:00:52,615
top five TMJ specialists,

43
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and here's where it

44
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gets interesting.

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Not interesting,

46
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Ted, creepy.

47
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Let her go.

48
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No, this is destiny.

49
00:00:58,621 --> 00:01:00,790
No, Ted,

50
00:00:58,621 --> 00:01:00,790
this is forcing it.

51
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When Lily and I met,

52
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I mean, that was destiny.

53
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She could've knocked

54
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on any door

55
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to find someone

56
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to fix her stereo,

57
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but she knocked on mine.

58
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Now hand over

59
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the pad.

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Ted...

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And the backup pad.

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They were right.

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You can't force destiny.

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If it's gonna happen,

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it's gonna happen.

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And funny story, kids...

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Oh, my God.

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It's you.

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00:01:32,404 --> 00:01:34,490
it happened.

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Subway Girl's

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name is Jeanette,

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and she does grind her teeth.

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I assume that started

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the moment she met you?

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Uh, well,

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the fact is

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she wanted to find me.

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The first

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thing I did

80
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was list out all the details

81
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I remembered about you.

82
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Is... is that

83
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a yellow legal pad?

84
00:02:06,188 --> 00:02:07,147
Yeah.

85
00:02:07,189 --> 00:02:08,607
I've even got a backup.

86
00:02:08,649 --> 00:02:09,734
Oh, my God.

87
00:02:09,775 --> 00:02:11,569
You had a tweed blazer

88
00:02:11,610 --> 00:02:12,737
and chalk all over your hands,

89
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so I figured you were

90
00:02:12,778 --> 00:02:14,405
either a professor

91
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or a British gymnast.

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I'm bloody

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good on the pommel 'orse.

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Regrettin' this accent.

95
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Can't seem to stop.

96
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So then I asked the lady

97
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at the student center

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where I could find

99
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the youngest,

100
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cutest professor on staff.

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00:02:29,420 --> 00:02:30,504
And...?

102
00:02:30,546 --> 00:02:31,881
She sent me to a physics class.

103
00:02:31,923 --> 00:02:33,799
Professor Leyborne?

104
00:02:33,841 --> 00:02:36,052
I wonder if she'd think

105
00:02:33,841 --> 00:02:36,052
Dr. Goodhair was so cute

106
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if she knew he hasn't been

107
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published in over a year?

108
00:02:38,554 --> 00:02:39,680
Then she sent me here,

109
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but the security guard

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wouldn't let me in

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00:02:41,140 --> 00:02:42,391
without an ID.

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I was about to give up

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when the fire alarm

114
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just sent you out.

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It was like...

116
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Destiny.

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Right? Right?

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It's a meet-cute.

119
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It's a stalk-crazy.

120
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Look...

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there's a fine line

122
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between love and insanity.

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It's...

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the Dobler-Dahmer theory.

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Oh, no...

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Damn, I always forget

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the little one.

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All right.

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If both people are

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into each other,

131
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a big romantic gesture works.

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Like Lloyd Dobler holding

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up the boom box

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outside Diane Court's window

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in Say Anything.

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But if

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one person

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isn't into the other,

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the same gesture comes off

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serial-killer crazy,

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00:03:17,176 --> 00:03:18,886
or Dahmer.

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00:03:18,928 --> 00:03:20,387
Now, Marshall, the story of

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how you asked out Lily

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is super sweet.

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I will-y.

146
00:03:40,407 --> 00:03:41,784
Dobler.

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00:03:41,826 --> 00:03:43,702
But if Lily wasn't into you?

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Dahmer.

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00:03:59,718 --> 00:04:01,929
Whether a gesture's

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charming or alarming

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00:04:01,971 --> 00:04:03,889
depends on how it's received.

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And I was charmed

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00:04:03,931 --> 00:04:06,684
by Jeanette finding me,

154
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hence... she's a Dobler.

155
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Don't you think

156
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it's a little convenient

157
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how that fire alarm happened

158
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to randomly go off?

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What are you saying?

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Ted, does she have

161
00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:17,195
enormous cans?

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No.

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Then what

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we're saying is

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she's a crazy stalker bitch

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who pulled that fire alarm

167
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and you should

168
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run screaming.

169
00:04:21,991 --> 00:04:22,741
You know what?

170
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I-I don't think

171
00:04:23,659 --> 00:04:25,369
that we should be so cavalier

172
00:04:25,410 --> 00:04:26,871
with the word "stalker."

173
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Why does that word

174
00:04:26,912 --> 00:04:28,747
bother you so much?

175
00:04:28,789 --> 00:04:30,290
Doesn't bother me.

176
00:04:30,332 --> 00:04:32,960
Wait... do you

177
00:04:30,332 --> 00:04:32,960
have a stalker?

178
00:04:34,378 --> 00:04:35,213
I don't want to talk

179
00:04:34,378 --> 00:04:35,213
about this.

180
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What do you mean?

181
00:04:36,172 --> 00:04:37,422
As your fiancé,

182
00:04:36,172 --> 00:04:37,422
if you have

183
00:04:37,464 --> 00:04:39,758
some psycho stalker out

184
00:04:37,464 --> 00:04:39,758
there, I should know.

185
00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:41,093
It was me.

186
00:04:41,135 --> 00:04:42,594
I was a stalker.

187
00:04:42,636 --> 00:04:44,304
It was back

188
00:04:42,636 --> 00:04:44,304
in Canada.

189
00:04:44,346 --> 00:04:45,931
I liked a guy

190
00:04:45,973 --> 00:04:48,600
and he didn't

191
00:04:45,973 --> 00:04:48,600
like me, and...

192
00:04:48,642 --> 00:04:49,685
well, I got

193
00:04:48,642 --> 00:04:49,685
a little obsessed.

194
00:04:49,727 --> 00:04:52,855
I'd fill up my journals

195
00:04:49,727 --> 00:04:52,855
all about him,

196
00:04:52,897 --> 00:04:55,107
and eventually

197
00:04:52,897 --> 00:04:55,107
there may have been

198
00:04:55,149 --> 00:04:58,152
a teensy-weensy

199
00:04:55,149 --> 00:04:58,152
50-meter restraining order.

200
00:04:58,194 --> 00:05:00,196
50 meters?

201
00:05:00,238 --> 00:05:01,363
That's like...

202
00:05:01,405 --> 00:05:03,741
four years.

203
00:05:03,782 --> 00:05:05,159
Wow.

204
00:05:05,201 --> 00:05:06,994
You must have been

205
00:05:05,201 --> 00:05:06,994
a total nutbag.

206
00:05:07,036 --> 00:05:07,995
I wasn't.

207
00:05:08,037 --> 00:05:08,954
Ted is right,

208
00:05:08,996 --> 00:05:10,497
there is

209
00:05:08,996 --> 00:05:10,497
a fine line.

210
00:05:10,539 --> 00:05:12,291
Anyone can cross it

211
00:05:10,539 --> 00:05:12,291
and get obsessed.

212
00:05:12,332 --> 00:05:14,334
Yeah, if you're

213
00:05:12,332 --> 00:05:14,334
a total nutbag.

214
00:05:15,878 --> 00:05:17,838
Now, uh...

215
00:05:15,878 --> 00:05:17,838
who's the guy?

216
00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:19,757
I'm not telling you

217
00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:19,757
until you admit

218
00:05:19,798 --> 00:05:21,884
that this can happen to anybody.

219
00:05:19,798 --> 00:05:21,884
I'm not admitting that.

220
00:05:21,926 --> 00:05:22,885
Fine. Forget it.

221
00:05:21,926 --> 00:05:22,885
I'm not telling you.

222
00:05:22,927 --> 00:05:24,220
Fine. Forgotten.

223
00:05:32,186 --> 00:05:36,107
"You are so beautiful.

224
00:05:36,148 --> 00:05:37,524
"Why can't you see me?

225
00:05:37,566 --> 00:05:39,985
"Someday, I'll make you see me

226
00:05:40,027 --> 00:05:41,946
"and we'll be together.

227
00:05:41,987 --> 00:05:43,197
"P.S. I love you.

228
00:05:44,406 --> 00:05:46,533
"P.S. I love you.

229
00:05:44,406 --> 00:05:46,533
P.S. I love you.

230
00:05:46,575 --> 00:05:48,286
"P.S. I love you.

231
00:05:48,327 --> 00:05:49,536
"P.S. I love you.

232
00:05:48,327 --> 00:05:49,536
P.S. I love you.

233
00:05:49,578 --> 00:05:52,998
P.S. I love you, you, you."

234
00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:54,959
This is "ridikilus."

235
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,627
Who cares who she

236
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,627
was obsessed with?

237
00:05:56,668 --> 00:05:59,838
What, am I gonna go to Canada

238
00:05:56,668 --> 00:05:59,838
and track this guy down?

239
00:06:00,881 --> 00:06:02,258
Thankfully,

240
00:06:02,300 --> 00:06:03,467
unlike Uncle Barney,

241
00:06:02,300 --> 00:06:03,467
I wasn't the kind of guy

242
00:06:03,508 --> 00:06:05,970
to fixate on

243
00:06:03,508 --> 00:06:05,970
one little detail.

244
00:06:06,011 --> 00:06:07,930
That fire alarm...

245
00:06:06,011 --> 00:06:07,930
did you pull it?

246
00:06:07,972 --> 00:06:09,098
Ugh...

247
00:06:09,140 --> 00:06:10,557
This is embarrassing.

248
00:06:10,599 --> 00:06:13,102
I wasn't gonna tell you this,

249
00:06:10,599 --> 00:06:13,102
but...

250
00:06:13,144 --> 00:06:14,519
I'd come so far,

251
00:06:14,561 --> 00:06:17,315
only to be sent packing

252
00:06:14,561 --> 00:06:17,315
by that security guard,

253
00:06:17,356 --> 00:06:18,983
and... well...

254
00:06:22,361 --> 00:06:23,487
I'm sorry.

255
00:06:23,528 --> 00:06:24,863
I just couldn't stand the idea

256
00:06:24,905 --> 00:06:26,615
of not meeting you.

257
00:06:26,657 --> 00:06:28,408
Could not

258
00:06:28,450 --> 00:06:31,078
stand the idea

259
00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:32,830
of not meeting me.

260
00:06:32,871 --> 00:06:34,123
Was it a little

261
00:06:34,165 --> 00:06:37,376
over the top to pull

262
00:06:34,165 --> 00:06:37,376
that fire alarm? Perhaps.

263
00:06:37,459 --> 00:06:38,418
But it charmed me.

264
00:06:38,460 --> 00:06:40,504
Hence... Dobler.

265
00:06:41,463 --> 00:06:42,756
Aha! You see?

266
00:06:42,798 --> 00:06:44,800
People don't put fire alarms

267
00:06:44,842 --> 00:06:47,178
out in front lobbies

268
00:06:44,842 --> 00:06:47,178
for just anyone to prank pull.

269
00:06:47,219 --> 00:06:48,804
They put smoke detectors

270
00:06:48,846 --> 00:06:49,930
up on the ceiling.

271
00:06:49,972 --> 00:06:51,765
Hold on.

272
00:06:51,807 --> 00:06:53,976
I'm beginning to think

273
00:06:51,807 --> 00:06:53,976
that you guys didn't come here

274
00:06:54,018 --> 00:06:55,686
to see my new lectern.

275
00:06:55,727 --> 00:06:58,314
Are you implying

276
00:06:55,727 --> 00:06:58,314
Jeanette started a fire?

277
00:06:58,356 --> 00:06:59,357
Dahmer.

278
00:06:59,398 --> 00:07:00,858
Dobler.

279
00:07:00,899 --> 00:07:02,276
She's John Cusack,

280
00:07:02,318 --> 00:07:03,944
I'm Ione Skye,

281
00:07:03,986 --> 00:07:05,821
and there is nothing

282
00:07:03,986 --> 00:07:05,821
weird about that.

283
00:07:09,992 --> 00:07:11,410
Gordie Bellavoh.

284
00:07:11,451 --> 00:07:13,204
Thanks again for

285
00:07:11,451 --> 00:07:13,204
the free donuts, eh?

286
00:07:13,245 --> 00:07:15,956
So, you up here

287
00:07:13,245 --> 00:07:15,956
visiting family?

288
00:07:15,998 --> 00:07:17,916
No. I'm not Canadian.

289
00:07:17,958 --> 00:07:19,793
Not even a quarter Canadian

290
00:07:17,958 --> 00:07:19,793
on my father's side.

291
00:07:19,835 --> 00:07:21,212
Shut up.

292
00:07:22,338 --> 00:07:23,505
We're not talking "aboot" me...

293
00:07:23,547 --> 00:07:26,258
about me. Whoa.

294
00:07:26,300 --> 00:07:27,801
How long did you and Robin date?

295
00:07:27,843 --> 00:07:29,887
Well, it wasn't

296
00:07:27,843 --> 00:07:29,887
really dating.

297
00:07:29,928 --> 00:07:31,889
We'd take a sixer of Labatts

298
00:07:29,928 --> 00:07:31,889
behind the hydro plant

299
00:07:31,930 --> 00:07:34,892
and she'd let me go under

300
00:07:31,930 --> 00:07:34,892
her parka over turtleneck.

301
00:07:34,933 --> 00:07:37,061
Summer love.

302
00:07:37,102 --> 00:07:39,688
Was Robin obsessed with you?

303
00:07:39,730 --> 00:07:40,356
No.

304
00:07:40,398 --> 00:07:41,523
No.

305
00:07:41,565 --> 00:07:43,108
Robin was way more into

306
00:07:41,565 --> 00:07:43,108
this guy named...

307
00:07:43,150 --> 00:07:45,110
Turk Grimsby.

308
00:07:45,152 --> 00:07:47,779
I hear Robin

309
00:07:45,152 --> 00:07:47,779
was obsessed with you?

310
00:07:47,821 --> 00:07:49,531
No. We only went out

311
00:07:47,821 --> 00:07:49,531
a few times,

312
00:07:49,573 --> 00:07:50,532
barely knew each other.

313
00:07:50,574 --> 00:07:51,950
All we talked about

314
00:07:51,992 --> 00:07:53,493
was her relationship

315
00:07:51,992 --> 00:07:53,493
with her mother,

316
00:07:53,535 --> 00:07:54,870
the gnawing feelings

317
00:07:53,535 --> 00:07:54,870
of inadequacy,

318
00:07:54,912 --> 00:07:57,706
all the horrible secrets

319
00:07:54,912 --> 00:07:57,706
on that side of the family.

320
00:07:57,748 --> 00:07:59,624
But heck, you're her fiancé.

321
00:07:59,666 --> 00:08:00,792
You know all that, right?

322
00:08:00,834 --> 00:08:02,627
Yeah.

323
00:08:02,669 --> 00:08:03,837
Robin was

324
00:08:03,879 --> 00:08:06,548
way more into this other guy.

325
00:08:06,590 --> 00:08:08,675
Can't seem to remember his name.

326
00:08:08,717 --> 00:08:09,718
Though sometimes

327
00:08:08,717 --> 00:08:09,718
a powdered jelly

328
00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:11,511
can help get

329
00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:11,511
the old noodle going.

330
00:08:12,804 --> 00:08:15,182
Ah...

331
00:08:15,224 --> 00:08:16,767
His name's...

332
00:08:16,808 --> 00:08:18,310
Simon Tremblay.

333
00:08:18,352 --> 00:08:19,811
I should have known.

334
00:08:19,853 --> 00:08:20,645
Eh.

335
00:08:20,687 --> 00:08:21,313
Thanks for the free donuts.

336
00:08:21,355 --> 00:08:22,689
They're just donuts!

337
00:08:22,731 --> 00:08:25,359
Okay? They're like

338
00:08:22,731 --> 00:08:25,359
two for a loonie... dollar.

339
00:08:25,401 --> 00:08:26,444
What's happening?

340
00:08:26,485 --> 00:08:29,488
Oh, somebody moosed down

341
00:08:26,485 --> 00:08:29,488
all the jellies.

342
00:08:29,529 --> 00:08:31,907
Have you been hanging

343
00:08:29,529 --> 00:08:31,907
out with Turk Grimsby?

344
00:08:33,617 --> 00:08:35,160
So how serious

345
00:08:33,617 --> 00:08:35,160
were you and Robin?

346
00:08:35,202 --> 00:08:37,871
Well, serious enough

347
00:08:35,202 --> 00:08:37,871
to pop the question.

348
00:08:37,913 --> 00:08:39,081
Wow. Really?

349
00:08:39,123 --> 00:08:40,291
Yeah, sure.

350
00:08:40,332 --> 00:08:41,750
Got down on one goalie pad,

351
00:08:41,792 --> 00:08:43,335
I said, "Robin,

352
00:08:43,377 --> 00:08:46,338
could we keep dating but I get

353
00:08:43,377 --> 00:08:46,338
to stick it to other babes?"

354
00:08:46,380 --> 00:08:47,756
Turned me down.

355
00:08:47,798 --> 00:08:49,341
I'm so sorry.

356
00:08:49,383 --> 00:08:50,884
Oh, that's okay.

357
00:08:50,926 --> 00:08:52,677
I really wanted to stick it

358
00:08:50,926 --> 00:08:52,677
to Louise Marsh.

359
00:08:53,929 --> 00:08:55,931
Still, as the years pass,

360
00:08:55,973 --> 00:08:58,392
and you take stock of your life,

361
00:08:58,434 --> 00:09:01,603
part of me wishes I could've

362
00:08:58,434 --> 00:09:01,603
kept sticking it to Robin, too.

363
00:09:02,896 --> 00:09:04,898
So are you the one

364
00:09:02,896 --> 00:09:04,898
that Robin stalked?

365
00:09:04,940 --> 00:09:08,110
Oh, that story goes back

366
00:09:04,940 --> 00:09:08,110
to the 1996 Grey Cup.

367
00:09:08,152 --> 00:09:10,321
What in God's name is that?

368
00:09:10,362 --> 00:09:12,906
Only Canada's Super Bowl.

369
00:09:10,362 --> 00:09:12,906
Didn't you ever see

370
00:09:12,948 --> 00:09:14,408
Robin Sparkles:

371
00:09:12,948 --> 00:09:14,408
Underneath the Tunes

372
00:09:14,450 --> 00:09:15,700
on MuchMusic?

373
00:09:15,742 --> 00:09:16,535
Again, I have to go with:

374
00:09:16,576 --> 00:09:19,579
what in God's name is that?

375
00:09:19,621 --> 00:09:22,124
It's only Canada's

376
00:09:19,621 --> 00:09:22,124
VH1 Behind the Music.

377
00:09:22,166 --> 00:09:24,126
There's one all about

378
00:09:22,166 --> 00:09:24,126
Robin Sparkles.

379
00:09:24,168 --> 00:09:27,212
Tells you the whole story

380
00:09:24,168 --> 00:09:27,212
from "A" to zed.

381
00:09:31,842 --> 00:09:33,802
Are you gonna

382
00:09:31,842 --> 00:09:33,802
take your...?

383
00:09:37,222 --> 00:09:40,058
Kids, relationships

384
00:09:37,222 --> 00:09:40,058
are built on trust.

385
00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:41,519
So unlike Uncle Barney,

386
00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:43,187
I wasn't gonna keep

387
00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:43,187
digging and digging...

388
00:09:43,228 --> 00:09:44,480
Did you start a fire?

389
00:09:45,397 --> 00:09:47,065
Ugh...

390
00:09:47,107 --> 00:09:49,109
This is embarrassing.

391
00:09:49,151 --> 00:09:51,820
I wasn't gonna tell you this,

392
00:09:49,151 --> 00:09:51,820
but...

393
00:09:51,862 --> 00:09:53,238
I'd come so far,

394
00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:55,740
only to be sent packing

395
00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:55,740
by that security guard,

396
00:09:55,782 --> 00:09:57,242
and... well...

397
00:09:59,370 --> 00:10:00,787
I'm sorry.

398
00:10:00,829 --> 00:10:02,289
I just couldn't stand the idea

399
00:10:02,331 --> 00:10:04,500
of not meeting you.

400
00:10:04,542 --> 00:10:05,959
Could not

401
00:10:06,001 --> 00:10:07,752
stand the idea

402
00:10:07,794 --> 00:10:10,381
of not meeting me.

403
00:10:10,422 --> 00:10:11,631
She set a fire, Ted!

404
00:10:11,673 --> 00:10:12,883
Dahmer.

405
00:10:12,924 --> 00:10:13,758
You're just jealous 'cause Lily

406
00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:14,885
never burned anything for you.

407
00:10:14,926 --> 00:10:16,720
Clearly you never

408
00:10:14,926 --> 00:10:16,720
tried her pot roast.

409
00:10:17,971 --> 00:10:19,056
I actually brought this

410
00:10:19,097 --> 00:10:20,349
for something totally different,

411
00:10:20,391 --> 00:10:21,517
but it worked out, right?

412
00:10:21,559 --> 00:10:23,768
Okay, anyway,

413
00:10:21,559 --> 00:10:23,768
here's my thing.

414
00:10:23,810 --> 00:10:25,103
Ladies and gentlemen,

415
00:10:25,145 --> 00:10:27,272
I have in my back pocket

416
00:10:27,314 --> 00:10:29,066
the answer to the question

417
00:10:29,107 --> 00:10:31,735
"Who was Robin obsessed with?"

418
00:10:31,776 --> 00:10:33,820
Hang on tight.

419
00:10:33,862 --> 00:10:36,490
It's Robin Sparkles 4, y'all!

420
00:10:48,627 --> 00:10:51,213
With her jelly bracelets,

421
00:10:48,627 --> 00:10:51,213
graffiti coat,

422
00:10:51,255 --> 00:10:52,839
and totally rad robot, no one

423
00:10:52,881 --> 00:10:56,843
symbolized the 1990s

424
00:10:52,881 --> 00:10:56,843
in Canada like Robin Sparkles.

425
00:10:56,885 --> 00:11:00,138
But as we'd all learn one

426
00:10:56,885 --> 00:11:00,138
heartbreaking Grey Cup Sunday,

427
00:11:00,180 --> 00:11:02,766
Canada's sweetheart

428
00:11:00,180 --> 00:11:02,766
had a dark side.

429
00:11:02,807 --> 00:11:04,518
I'll never forget that moment.

430
00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:06,895
A little piece of Canada

431
00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:06,895
died that day.

432
00:11:06,937 --> 00:11:08,813
To see her

433
00:11:06,937 --> 00:11:08,813
throw her life away like that...

434
00:11:10,815 --> 00:11:11,983
it was heartbreaking.

435
00:11:12,025 --> 00:11:13,569
I am so happy right now.

436
00:11:13,611 --> 00:11:16,947
I want to see her throw

437
00:11:13,611 --> 00:11:16,947
her life away so badly.

438
00:11:13,611 --> 00:11:16,947
Yeah.

439
00:11:16,988 --> 00:11:19,741
We're all terrible people...

440
00:11:16,988 --> 00:11:19,741
turn it up.

441
00:11:19,783 --> 00:11:21,910
Sparkles' hit records...

442
00:11:23,745 --> 00:11:27,749
both went maple with "Mall"

443
00:11:23,745 --> 00:11:27,749
eventually going double maple.

444
00:11:27,791 --> 00:11:30,628
I never admitted this till now,

445
00:11:27,791 --> 00:11:30,628
but before a big game,

446
00:11:30,669 --> 00:11:32,837
I'd listen to

447
00:11:30,669 --> 00:11:32,837
"Sand Castles in the Sand"

448
00:11:32,879 --> 00:11:34,339
and get a good cry on.

449
00:11:34,381 --> 00:11:36,174
I'm not ashamed.

450
00:11:36,216 --> 00:11:40,262
But after endless touring,

451
00:11:36,216 --> 00:11:40,262
Robin started to crack.

452
00:11:40,304 --> 00:11:42,306
Who doesn't love the mall?

453
00:11:42,347 --> 00:11:45,767
Shopping with

454
00:11:42,347 --> 00:11:45,767
your friends and...

455
00:11:45,809 --> 00:11:48,687
I can't do this.

456
00:11:50,397 --> 00:11:51,856
Get this out of my face, please.

457
00:11:51,898 --> 00:11:53,942
Thank you, pardon me,

458
00:11:51,898 --> 00:11:53,942
thanks, sorry.

459
00:11:53,984 --> 00:11:57,737
Even when Canadians are mean,

460
00:11:53,984 --> 00:11:57,737
they're polite.

461
00:11:57,779 --> 00:12:00,407
Her record producer

462
00:11:57,779 --> 00:12:00,407
Chuck "Chuck" Gerusi.

463
00:12:00,449 --> 00:12:02,493
Robin Sparkles was big.

464
00:12:02,534 --> 00:12:05,412
Gino Vannelli big,

465
00:12:02,534 --> 00:12:05,412
who I discovered by the way.

466
00:12:06,746 --> 00:12:07,706
Robin's next song,

467
00:12:07,747 --> 00:12:10,292
"P.S. I Love You," was so dark

468
00:12:10,334 --> 00:12:11,835
Dominant Records refused

469
00:12:10,334 --> 00:12:11,835
to release it.

470
00:12:11,876 --> 00:12:15,297
Few have ever seen

471
00:12:11,876 --> 00:12:15,297
the long-lost music video,

472
00:12:15,339 --> 00:12:16,756
but we found it.

473
00:12:42,991 --> 00:12:44,702
This is the most

474
00:12:44,743 --> 00:12:46,370
1990s music video

475
00:12:44,743 --> 00:12:46,370
of all time.

476
00:12:46,411 --> 00:12:48,205
All it needs

477
00:12:46,411 --> 00:12:48,205
is a shirtless old man

478
00:12:48,246 --> 00:12:49,998
in black and white

479
00:12:48,246 --> 00:12:49,998
for no reason.

480
00:13:01,385 --> 00:13:02,927
That's got to feel good.

481
00:13:09,643 --> 00:13:13,355
In 1996, we booked the halftime

482
00:13:09,643 --> 00:13:13,355
show for the Grey Cup.

483
00:13:13,397 --> 00:13:14,565
Huge gig.

484
00:13:14,606 --> 00:13:16,983
We're talking Ivor Wynne Stadium

485
00:13:14,606 --> 00:13:16,983
in Hamilton,

486
00:13:17,025 --> 00:13:19,944
just outside of Guelph.

487
00:13:19,986 --> 00:13:22,781
It doesn't get any bigger

488
00:13:19,986 --> 00:13:22,781
than that.

489
00:13:22,822 --> 00:13:24,949
Hello, Canada.

490
00:13:24,991 --> 00:13:27,202
I'm Robin Sparkles.

491
00:13:27,244 --> 00:13:28,870
Oh.

492
00:13:31,915 --> 00:13:33,584
Actually...

493
00:13:33,625 --> 00:13:36,503
I was Robin Sparkles.

494
00:13:36,545 --> 00:13:37,962
The whole stadium went silent.

495
00:13:38,004 --> 00:13:41,341
Right then, I knew something

496
00:13:38,004 --> 00:13:41,341
terrible was gonna happen.

497
00:13:41,383 --> 00:13:43,885
My stomach started churning.

498
00:13:43,927 --> 00:13:46,888
But Robin Sparkles is dead.

499
00:13:46,930 --> 00:13:50,100
All I could hear was Paul

500
00:13:46,930 --> 00:13:50,100
Shaffer's stomach growling.

501
00:13:50,141 --> 00:13:52,894
Stress goes to my stomach...

502
00:13:50,141 --> 00:13:52,894
sue me.

503
00:13:52,936 --> 00:13:54,730
It was kind of disgusting.

504
00:13:54,772 --> 00:13:56,398
I'm sorry, Jason Priestley,

505
00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:58,734
I didn't realize

506
00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:58,734
you were the Queen of England.

507
00:13:58,776 --> 00:14:01,612
My new name is...

508
00:14:01,653 --> 00:14:03,905
Robin Daggers!

509
00:14:03,947 --> 00:14:05,282
Two, three, four!

510
00:14:07,992 --> 00:14:09,327
That day is now

511
00:14:09,369 --> 00:14:14,082
known in music history

512
00:14:09,369 --> 00:14:14,082
as the day grunge was born.

513
00:14:14,124 --> 00:14:15,417
In 1996, in Canada?

514
00:14:15,459 --> 00:14:16,585
That seems right, Trebek.

515
00:14:16,627 --> 00:14:18,920
Give him a break,

516
00:14:16,627 --> 00:14:18,920
he's not a music guy.

517
00:14:18,962 --> 00:14:21,089
That day is now known

518
00:14:18,962 --> 00:14:21,089
in music history

519
00:14:21,131 --> 00:14:23,925
as the day that grunge was born.

520
00:14:23,967 --> 00:14:25,135
Well, that's a bummer.

521
00:14:26,637 --> 00:14:27,929
It was tragic.

522
00:14:27,971 --> 00:14:28,972
I mean, to this day,

523
00:14:29,013 --> 00:14:31,516
you ask any Canadian

524
00:14:29,013 --> 00:14:31,516
where they were

525
00:14:31,558 --> 00:14:34,561
when Robin Sparkles lost it,

526
00:14:31,558 --> 00:14:34,561
not only can they tell you

527
00:14:34,603 --> 00:14:38,690
which Tim Hortons they were in,

528
00:14:34,603 --> 00:14:38,690
but what donut they were eating.

529
00:14:38,732 --> 00:14:41,485
Me? Wawa, Ontario.

530
00:14:41,526 --> 00:14:42,778
Blueberry fritter.

531
00:14:42,820 --> 00:14:44,946
Halifax, Nova Scotia.

532
00:14:44,988 --> 00:14:46,573
Walnut crunch.

533
00:14:46,615 --> 00:14:48,074
Victoriaville, Quebec.

534
00:14:48,116 --> 00:14:49,827
Sour cream plain.

535
00:14:49,868 --> 00:14:51,953
Sudbury, Ontario.

536
00:14:51,995 --> 00:14:53,371
Honey dip.

537
00:14:53,413 --> 00:14:55,165
Red Deer, Alberta.

538
00:14:55,206 --> 00:14:57,208
Chocolate glaze.

539
00:14:57,250 --> 00:14:59,628
Squamish, British Columbia.

540
00:14:59,670 --> 00:15:02,088
Crammed a Timbit

541
00:14:59,670 --> 00:15:02,088
into a strawberry vanilla

542
00:15:02,130 --> 00:15:04,132
and invented The Priestley.

543
00:15:04,174 --> 00:15:06,760
Should've been

544
00:15:04,174 --> 00:15:06,760
the best day of my life.

545
00:15:06,802 --> 00:15:09,763
It was horrifying

546
00:15:06,802 --> 00:15:09,763
on so many levels.

547
00:15:10,806 --> 00:15:13,475
Actually, you know what?

548
00:15:13,517 --> 00:15:15,519
I'm sorry, I can't...

549
00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:17,771
I just can't talk about this.

550
00:15:17,813 --> 00:15:20,190
I'm out of here, okay?

551
00:15:17,813 --> 00:15:20,190
I'm out of here.

552
00:15:20,231 --> 00:15:21,483
Here, excuse me.

553
00:15:21,525 --> 00:15:22,693
I'm sorry, will you take...

554
00:15:22,734 --> 00:15:23,902
No, no, don't move, I'm out...

555
00:15:23,943 --> 00:15:25,195
Sorry, sorry.

556
00:15:25,236 --> 00:15:26,530
Speculation began immediately.

557
00:15:26,571 --> 00:15:29,491
Who was Robin Sparkles

558
00:15:26,571 --> 00:15:29,491
singing about

559
00:15:29,533 --> 00:15:31,576
with those angry,

560
00:15:29,533 --> 00:15:31,576
obsessive lyrics?

561
00:15:31,618 --> 00:15:33,203
Many names were suggested.

562
00:15:33,244 --> 00:15:34,621
It wasn't me.

563
00:15:34,663 --> 00:15:35,580
It wasn't me.

564
00:15:35,622 --> 00:15:36,832
Wasn't me.

565
00:15:36,874 --> 00:15:37,916
It wasn't me.

566
00:15:37,957 --> 00:15:38,917
It wasn't me.

567
00:15:38,958 --> 00:15:40,502
It wasn't me.

568
00:15:40,544 --> 00:15:43,714
Why does everyone always think

569
00:15:43,755 --> 00:15:45,298
it's me?

570
00:15:45,340 --> 00:15:47,050
I wish it was me.

571
00:15:47,091 --> 00:15:49,010
But one name comes up

572
00:15:47,091 --> 00:15:49,010
more than any other.

573
00:15:49,052 --> 00:15:52,514
Alan Thicke.

574
00:15:52,556 --> 00:15:53,973
How can I help you?

575
00:15:54,015 --> 00:15:55,600
Donut?

576
00:15:56,852 --> 00:15:57,811
Whoa!

577
00:16:04,609 --> 00:16:07,487
Whoa. What

578
00:16:04,609 --> 00:16:07,487
happened to you?

579
00:16:07,529 --> 00:16:11,700
We watched Robin Sparkles:

580
00:16:07,529 --> 00:16:11,700
Underneath the Tunes today.

581
00:16:11,742 --> 00:16:13,326
Wait, what?

582
00:16:13,368 --> 00:16:15,746
You guys get

583
00:16:13,368 --> 00:16:15,746
MuchMusic down here?

584
00:16:16,621 --> 00:16:19,750
And that video lead me to...

585
00:16:19,791 --> 00:16:22,961
I am engaged

586
00:16:19,791 --> 00:16:22,961
to Robin Scherbatsky,

587
00:16:23,002 --> 00:16:25,797
and I know that she wrote

588
00:16:23,002 --> 00:16:25,797
"P.S. I Love You" for you.

589
00:16:25,839 --> 00:16:28,425
Now-now, why is she

590
00:16:25,839 --> 00:16:28,425
so obsessed with you?

591
00:16:28,466 --> 00:16:30,802
What? That song's

592
00:16:28,466 --> 00:16:30,802
not about me.

593
00:16:30,844 --> 00:16:32,345
Then who is it "aboot"... about.

594
00:16:32,387 --> 00:16:33,764
Damn it.

595
00:16:33,805 --> 00:16:35,098
I don't know.

596
00:16:35,139 --> 00:16:36,725
I always thought

597
00:16:35,139 --> 00:16:36,725
it was Coulier.

598
00:16:36,767 --> 00:16:38,560
It wasn't me.

599
00:16:38,602 --> 00:16:40,061
Stop asking.

600
00:16:40,103 --> 00:16:42,355
Geez, cut it out.

601
00:16:42,397 --> 00:16:45,943
I always liked that joke.

602
00:16:45,984 --> 00:16:48,319
Alan Thicke kicked your ass.

603
00:16:49,404 --> 00:16:50,906
He lied, didn't he?

604
00:16:50,948 --> 00:16:52,741
It was Alan Thicke!

605
00:16:52,783 --> 00:16:53,951
Wow.

606
00:16:53,992 --> 00:16:55,118
It sounds like you've become

607
00:16:55,159 --> 00:16:56,995
a bit obsessed, huh, Barney?

608
00:16:57,036 --> 00:16:58,789
I am not obsessed.

609
00:16:58,830 --> 00:17:00,749
All I did was break

610
00:16:58,830 --> 00:17:00,749
into your apartment

611
00:17:00,791 --> 00:17:02,166
and read your teenage journals,

612
00:17:02,208 --> 00:17:05,963
and fly to Vancouver to

613
00:17:02,208 --> 00:17:05,963
interrogate your ex-boyfriends,

614
00:17:06,004 --> 00:17:10,216
and fight beloved

615
00:17:06,004 --> 00:17:10,216
Canadian actor Alan Thicke

616
00:17:10,258 --> 00:17:12,010
to a draw.

617
00:17:12,051 --> 00:17:14,512
Ow, ow, ow,

618
00:17:12,051 --> 00:17:14,512
ow, ow, ow!

619
00:17:14,554 --> 00:17:15,847
So,

620
00:17:15,889 --> 00:17:17,265
ready to admit it?

621
00:17:18,809 --> 00:17:21,394
Anyone can get obsessed.

622
00:17:21,436 --> 00:17:22,771
Thank you.

623
00:17:22,813 --> 00:17:25,315
And now, I am ready to tell you

624
00:17:25,356 --> 00:17:27,609
who "P.S. I Love You" is about.

625
00:17:27,651 --> 00:17:29,152
Who?

626
00:17:29,193 --> 00:17:31,738
"P.S."

627
00:17:31,780 --> 00:17:32,906
Paul Shaffer.

628
00:17:32,948 --> 00:17:35,617
Paul Shaffer?

629
00:17:35,659 --> 00:17:38,787
I know, so stereotypical.

630
00:17:38,829 --> 00:17:41,623
Every young Canadian girl

631
00:17:38,829 --> 00:17:41,623
fantasizes

632
00:17:41,665 --> 00:17:43,834
about being with Paul Shaffer.

633
00:17:45,836 --> 00:17:48,922
At the Grey Cup gig, Paul was

634
00:17:45,836 --> 00:17:48,922
sitting in the front row.

635
00:17:53,343 --> 00:17:54,928
No wonder his stomach

636
00:17:53,343 --> 00:17:54,928
was growling.

637
00:17:54,970 --> 00:17:57,931
I feel bad that I scared Paul.

638
00:17:57,973 --> 00:18:01,392
He's amazing.

639
00:18:01,434 --> 00:18:03,353
But I have no regrets.

640
00:18:03,394 --> 00:18:04,938
I was done being Robin Sparkles.

641
00:18:04,980 --> 00:18:05,981
You're not

642
00:18:04,980 --> 00:18:05,981
gonna go get

643
00:18:06,023 --> 00:18:08,942
beat up by Paul Shaffer now,

644
00:18:06,023 --> 00:18:08,942
are you?

645
00:18:08,984 --> 00:18:10,360
I can't believe it.

646
00:18:10,401 --> 00:18:12,737
I'm a total Dahmer.

647
00:18:12,779 --> 00:18:14,948
Yeah, but you're my Dahmer,

648
00:18:14,990 --> 00:18:16,366
which makes you a Dobler.

649
00:18:16,407 --> 00:18:19,118
Just like Jeanette.

650
00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:20,954
No, Ted,

651
00:18:20,996 --> 00:18:23,832
what that woman did to run in

652
00:18:20,996 --> 00:18:23,832
to you was bonkers.

653
00:18:23,874 --> 00:18:25,333
That's just not how you start

654
00:18:23,874 --> 00:18:25,333
a healthy relationship.

655
00:18:25,375 --> 00:18:26,751
Tell him, Lil.

656
00:18:26,793 --> 00:18:28,712
I can't stand

657
00:18:26,793 --> 00:18:28,712
it anymore.

658
00:18:28,753 --> 00:18:30,296
I've been living a lie.

659
00:18:30,338 --> 00:18:32,590
See?

660
00:18:32,632 --> 00:18:33,884
I saw you at orientation

661
00:18:33,925 --> 00:18:35,969
and I needed an excuse

662
00:18:33,925 --> 00:18:35,969
to meet you,

663
00:18:36,011 --> 00:18:36,845
so...

664
00:18:36,887 --> 00:18:38,096
Ah!

665
00:18:38,137 --> 00:18:39,430
I didn't know which room

666
00:18:38,137 --> 00:18:39,430
you were in,

667
00:18:39,472 --> 00:18:43,810
so I had to create

668
00:18:39,472 --> 00:18:43,810
a little destiny.

669
00:18:56,239 --> 00:18:57,699
Okay.

670
00:19:01,661 --> 00:19:02,871
I'm sorry, I just

671
00:19:02,913 --> 00:19:06,041
couldn't stand the idea

672
00:19:02,913 --> 00:19:06,041
of not meeting you.

673
00:19:07,166 --> 00:19:08,376
Could...

674
00:19:08,418 --> 00:19:11,212
not stand the idea

675
00:19:11,254 --> 00:19:12,923
of not meeting me.

676
00:19:17,594 --> 00:19:19,096
I'm sorry, Ted.

677
00:19:19,137 --> 00:19:20,179
You were right.

678
00:19:20,221 --> 00:19:22,515
Jeanette's a Dobler.

679
00:19:22,557 --> 00:19:23,725
So are you.

680
00:19:23,767 --> 00:19:26,144
Thanks, buddy.

681
00:19:26,185 --> 00:19:28,354
You know, if you

682
00:19:26,185 --> 00:19:28,354
hadn't been reading

683
00:19:28,396 --> 00:19:29,731
the exact same book as me,

684
00:19:29,773 --> 00:19:31,274
we never would've met.

685
00:19:31,315 --> 00:19:32,901
I mean, that's destiny.

686
00:19:32,943 --> 00:19:34,861
Oh, look.

687
00:19:34,903 --> 00:19:36,947
You bought it in the

688
00:19:34,903 --> 00:19:36,947
same bookstore I did.

689
00:19:36,988 --> 00:19:39,407
On the same day.

690
00:19:39,449 --> 00:19:43,078
Within ten minutes

691
00:19:39,449 --> 00:19:43,078
of me buying mine.

692
00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:44,913
Ugh...

693
00:19:44,955 --> 00:19:46,372
Uh, this is embarrassing.

694
00:19:46,414 --> 00:19:47,457
I wasn't gonna tell you this,

695
00:19:47,498 --> 00:19:50,919
but I followed you

696
00:19:47,498 --> 00:19:50,919
to that bookstore.

697
00:19:50,961 --> 00:19:54,923
I just couldn't stand

698
00:19:50,961 --> 00:19:54,923
the idea of not meeting you.

699
00:19:54,965 --> 00:19:57,884
You followed me

700
00:19:54,965 --> 00:19:57,884
to the bookstore from where?

701
00:19:57,926 --> 00:20:00,553
How long have you

702
00:19:57,926 --> 00:20:00,553
been following me?

703
00:20:00,595 --> 00:20:02,931
Uh, this is embarrassing.

704
00:20:02,973 --> 00:20:05,892
Uh, remember when you were on

705
00:20:02,973 --> 00:20:05,892
the cover of New York Magazine?

706
00:20:05,934 --> 00:20:08,895
That was like a year

707
00:20:05,934 --> 00:20:08,895
and a half ago.

708
00:20:08,937 --> 00:20:10,605
Yeah.

709
00:20:10,647 --> 00:20:13,942
Before a man meets

710
00:20:10,647 --> 00:20:13,942
the woman he'll marry,

711
00:20:13,984 --> 00:20:16,903
he'll make one final,

712
00:20:13,984 --> 00:20:16,903
horrible mistake.

713
00:20:16,945 --> 00:20:19,322
For me, that was Jeanette.

714
00:21:02,991 --> 00:21:03,950
Move on.