1 00:00:01,641 --> 00:00:04,057 In 1994, Robin's dad took her 2 00:00:01,641 --> 00:00:04,057 to New York City 3 00:00:04,099 --> 00:00:05,474 for the first time... 4 00:00:05,516 --> 00:00:07,808 This is amazing! 5 00:00:05,516 --> 00:00:07,808 Thank you, sir! 6 00:00:07,849 --> 00:00:10,641 Well, a little father-son 7 00:00:07,849 --> 00:00:10,641 bonding trip never hurt anyone. 8 00:00:10,682 --> 00:00:13,307 I-I did almost die 9 00:00:10,682 --> 00:00:13,307 from malnutrition 10 00:00:13,349 --> 00:00:14,766 on that wolf hunt last year... 11 00:00:14,808 --> 00:00:16,724 I had to almost kill you 12 00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:19,349 for you to learn how to kill. 13 00:00:19,390 --> 00:00:21,265 New York City's the best, eh? 14 00:00:21,307 --> 00:00:22,682 I despise it. 15 00:00:21,307 --> 00:00:22,682 It's like Edmonton, 16 00:00:22,724 --> 00:00:24,516 minus the arts and culture. 17 00:00:24,557 --> 00:00:25,766 Come on, we'll miss our flight. 18 00:00:25,808 --> 00:00:27,140 I'll catch up. 19 00:00:29,557 --> 00:00:32,307 One day, I'm gonna move here, 20 00:00:32,349 --> 00:00:35,307 marry a sophisticated 21 00:00:32,349 --> 00:00:35,307 big-city man 22 00:00:35,349 --> 00:00:36,973 with a sick mullet... 23 00:00:37,015 --> 00:00:40,265 like all the way down to his 24 00:00:37,015 --> 00:00:40,265 shoulder pads, 25 00:00:40,307 --> 00:00:41,682 and at night, 26 00:00:41,724 --> 00:00:45,140 he'll let me brush it... 27 00:00:45,182 --> 00:00:48,182 and I'll dig up this locket 28 00:00:48,224 --> 00:00:52,265 so it can be my "something old" 29 00:00:48,224 --> 00:00:52,265 at our wedding. 30 00:00:52,890 --> 00:00:53,849 R.J.! 31 00:00:53,890 --> 00:00:55,015 Coming, sir! 32 00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:58,557 I'll be back for you. 33 00:01:01,349 --> 00:01:02,599 Back then, I was... 34 00:01:02,641 --> 00:01:04,265 I was too embarrassed 35 00:01:02,641 --> 00:01:04,265 to tell you I'd done that... 36 00:01:04,307 --> 00:01:06,599 but we're closer now. 37 00:01:06,641 --> 00:01:08,641 I feel like I don't have to hide 38 00:01:06,641 --> 00:01:08,641 my feminine side anymore 39 00:01:08,682 --> 00:01:09,808 just because you've 40 00:01:08,682 --> 00:01:09,808 always wanted a... 41 00:01:09,849 --> 00:01:12,724 Son! 42 00:01:09,849 --> 00:01:12,724 It's Barney! 43 00:01:12,766 --> 00:01:13,724 Great! 44 00:01:13,766 --> 00:01:15,890 I'll be there in 15, B-dawg. 45 00:01:15,932 --> 00:01:17,140 Woof, woof! 46 00:01:19,641 --> 00:01:20,599 That's our thing. 47 00:01:20,641 --> 00:01:23,307 Uh... be where in 15? 48 00:01:20,641 --> 00:01:23,307 Laser tag. 49 00:01:23,349 --> 00:01:26,307 Never been. 50 00:01:23,349 --> 00:01:26,307 B-dawg's gonna teach me. 51 00:01:26,349 --> 00:01:28,724 Look, I-I think that it's great 52 00:01:26,349 --> 00:01:28,724 that you and Barney are... 53 00:01:28,766 --> 00:01:32,265 B-dawg. 54 00:01:28,766 --> 00:01:32,265 B-dawg are bonding, 55 00:01:32,307 --> 00:01:34,890 but, um... you agreed 56 00:01:32,307 --> 00:01:34,890 to help me with this. 57 00:01:34,932 --> 00:01:36,516 Fine. 58 00:01:36,557 --> 00:01:37,766 Where did you bury this tampon? 59 00:01:37,808 --> 00:01:39,140 It's a locket. 60 00:01:39,182 --> 00:01:40,140 I'm sorry, I get all these 61 00:01:40,182 --> 00:01:42,641 girlie things confused. 62 00:01:42,682 --> 00:01:44,516 Do you need my help or not? 63 00:01:46,307 --> 00:01:48,140 Nah, it's stupid. 64 00:01:49,932 --> 00:01:52,349 So while Robin searched 65 00:01:49,932 --> 00:01:52,349 for her something old, 66 00:01:52,390 --> 00:01:54,890 Lily and Marshall packed 67 00:01:52,390 --> 00:01:54,890 for their something new: 68 00:01:54,932 --> 00:01:57,641 Lily's year-long art consultant 69 00:01:54,932 --> 00:01:57,641 gig in Italy. 70 00:01:57,682 --> 00:01:58,724 I still can't believe 71 00:01:58,766 --> 00:02:00,808 we have to say goodbye 72 00:01:58,766 --> 00:02:00,808 to this place... 73 00:02:00,849 --> 00:02:02,890 Oh. I know, baby. 74 00:02:02,932 --> 00:02:05,682 But look at it as an excuse 75 00:02:02,932 --> 00:02:05,682 to simplify our lives. 76 00:02:05,724 --> 00:02:06,849 You know, we can't bring 77 00:02:05,724 --> 00:02:06,849 everything to Italy, 78 00:02:06,890 --> 00:02:08,849 so we gotta throw out 79 00:02:06,890 --> 00:02:08,849 some junk. 80 00:02:08,890 --> 00:02:10,849 For example, look... 81 00:02:10,890 --> 00:02:12,474 my old Sasquatch binders 82 00:02:12,516 --> 00:02:14,599 that "I could never throw away" 83 00:02:14,641 --> 00:02:16,265 because 84 00:02:14,641 --> 00:02:16,265 "I was gonna be the guy 85 00:02:16,307 --> 00:02:17,849 who proved the existence 86 00:02:16,307 --> 00:02:17,849 of Bigfoot..." 87 00:02:17,890 --> 00:02:19,224 These are obviously 88 00:02:17,890 --> 00:02:19,224 coming to Italy. 89 00:02:19,265 --> 00:02:20,474 But these handbags? 90 00:02:20,516 --> 00:02:21,516 Gonzo. 91 00:02:21,557 --> 00:02:23,474 No way! 92 00:02:23,516 --> 00:02:26,057 These have sentimental 93 00:02:23,516 --> 00:02:26,057 meaning to me. 94 00:02:26,099 --> 00:02:27,890 Didn't you shop-lift these 95 00:02:26,099 --> 00:02:27,890 in your 20s? 96 00:02:27,932 --> 00:02:30,307 Yes, and I get very nostalgic 97 00:02:27,932 --> 00:02:30,307 for that time. 98 00:02:30,349 --> 00:02:33,932 You get older, you have kids, 99 00:02:30,349 --> 00:02:33,932 you stop stealing, it's sad. 100 00:02:33,973 --> 00:02:34,932 Lily... 101 00:02:34,973 --> 00:02:36,224 we just don't have 102 00:02:34,973 --> 00:02:36,224 room for these. 103 00:02:36,265 --> 00:02:39,349 Oh, but you get to keep 104 00:02:36,265 --> 00:02:39,349 your Bigfoot binders? 105 00:02:39,390 --> 00:02:42,890 Wait, why is this one 106 00:02:39,390 --> 00:02:42,890 just December 1999? 107 00:02:42,932 --> 00:02:45,265 Oh. Y2K was coming. 108 00:02:45,307 --> 00:02:48,724 Lot of people took to the woods. 109 00:02:48,766 --> 00:02:51,015 Saw the truth. 110 00:02:51,057 --> 00:02:53,349 Okay, Marshall, we don't 111 00:02:51,057 --> 00:02:53,349 have time to argue 112 00:02:53,390 --> 00:02:56,099 over what stays and what goes. 113 00:02:56,140 --> 00:02:58,182 Ooh, you know who 114 00:02:56,140 --> 00:02:58,182 we gotta bring in? 115 00:02:58,224 --> 00:03:00,140 Okay, I agree he is 116 00:02:58,224 --> 00:03:00,140 good at this stuff, 117 00:03:00,182 --> 00:03:02,182 but he just gets so cocky. 118 00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:03,349 No, he doesn't. 119 00:03:07,057 --> 00:03:09,516 So I heard you guys have 120 00:03:07,057 --> 00:03:09,516 a bit of a... 121 00:03:09,557 --> 00:03:11,849 packing situation. 122 00:03:11,890 --> 00:03:14,015 I acknowledge now 123 00:03:11,890 --> 00:03:14,015 this was a mistake. 124 00:03:14,057 --> 00:03:17,349 Look, I came here to chew 125 00:03:14,057 --> 00:03:17,349 bubblegum and pack boxes. 126 00:03:17,390 --> 00:03:20,015 And I'm all out of bubble... 127 00:03:20,057 --> 00:03:22,182 Oh, my God... Oh, my God. 128 00:03:22,224 --> 00:03:24,766 I swallowed it. 129 00:03:24,808 --> 00:03:26,140 Is that bad? 130 00:03:26,182 --> 00:03:27,890 Okay, thank you. 131 00:03:27,932 --> 00:03:29,557 Well, Dr. Goldsmith says 132 00:03:27,932 --> 00:03:29,557 I should be fine. 133 00:03:29,599 --> 00:03:31,099 I just have to look for it 134 00:03:29,599 --> 00:03:31,099 in my stool. 135 00:03:32,932 --> 00:03:34,890 So as I was saying... 136 00:03:34,932 --> 00:03:36,849 I heard you guys have 137 00:03:34,932 --> 00:03:36,849 a bit of a... 138 00:03:36,890 --> 00:03:39,265 packing situation. 139 00:03:52,516 --> 00:03:54,390 Now, as you know, 140 00:03:54,432 --> 00:03:58,099 I'm a bit of a legend 141 00:03:54,432 --> 00:03:58,099 when it comes to packing. 142 00:03:58,140 --> 00:03:59,516 We know. 143 00:03:58,140 --> 00:03:59,516 We know. 144 00:03:59,557 --> 00:04:00,932 Tales are still told 145 00:04:00,973 --> 00:04:03,932 of the time I traveled 146 00:04:00,973 --> 00:04:03,932 all through Mexico... 147 00:04:05,390 --> 00:04:07,390 for two weeks... 148 00:04:08,557 --> 00:04:10,432 with everything I needed 149 00:04:10,474 --> 00:04:14,474 efficiently packed into 150 00:04:10,474 --> 00:04:14,474 a hands-free belt satchel. 151 00:04:14,516 --> 00:04:16,140 The locals called me... 152 00:04:22,973 --> 00:04:25,724 Yeah, it's not a "hands-free 153 00:04:22,973 --> 00:04:25,724 belt satchel," Ted. 154 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:26,724 It's a fanny pack. 155 00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:28,474 It's not a fanny pack. 156 00:04:28,516 --> 00:04:31,557 In Spanish, 157 00:04:28,516 --> 00:04:31,557 El Ganso con la Rinonera 158 00:04:31,599 --> 00:04:32,890 means "Fanny Pack Dork." 159 00:04:32,932 --> 00:04:34,099 No, it doesn't. 160 00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:37,224 It means "Packer of Great Skill 161 00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:37,224 and Merit." 162 00:04:37,265 --> 00:04:38,349 I looked it up. 163 00:04:38,390 --> 00:04:40,390 It means "Fanny Pack Dork." 164 00:04:40,432 --> 00:04:43,390 And as a Packer 165 00:04:40,432 --> 00:04:43,390 of Great Skill and Merit, 166 00:04:43,432 --> 00:04:46,973 I will tell you how to pack 167 00:04:43,432 --> 00:04:46,973 with Tetris-like precision. 168 00:04:47,015 --> 00:04:49,390 We get it, you pack 169 00:04:47,015 --> 00:04:49,390 a lot in your fanny. 170 00:04:49,432 --> 00:04:51,182 Obvious yet delightful. 171 00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:52,224 Okay. 172 00:04:52,265 --> 00:04:53,724 I got a big interview at 3:00 173 00:04:53,766 --> 00:04:55,307 about possibly designing 174 00:04:53,766 --> 00:04:55,307 another building. 175 00:04:55,349 --> 00:04:57,932 Until then, 176 00:04:55,349 --> 00:04:57,932 if you abide by my rulings, 177 00:04:57,973 --> 00:05:00,224 I will tell you 178 00:04:57,973 --> 00:05:00,224 what goes to Italy 179 00:05:00,265 --> 00:05:03,808 and what goes in... 180 00:05:00,265 --> 00:05:03,808 The Triangle. 181 00:05:03,849 --> 00:05:06,432 Kids, as you know, 182 00:05:03,849 --> 00:05:06,432 "The Bermuda Triangle" 183 00:05:06,474 --> 00:05:07,932 was the name we gave 184 00:05:06,474 --> 00:05:07,932 to the curb 185 00:05:07,973 --> 00:05:09,474 right outside our apartment, 186 00:05:09,516 --> 00:05:12,057 which possessed 187 00:05:09,516 --> 00:05:12,057 the magical ability 188 00:05:12,099 --> 00:05:14,390 to make any item disappear. 189 00:05:14,432 --> 00:05:15,432 Instantly. 190 00:05:15,474 --> 00:05:17,766 The biggest rule for 191 00:05:15,474 --> 00:05:17,766 de-cluttering is, 192 00:05:17,808 --> 00:05:20,682 "Have you used it 193 00:05:17,808 --> 00:05:20,682 in the last year?" 194 00:05:20,724 --> 00:05:24,432 If not... Triangle. 195 00:05:24,474 --> 00:05:27,182 Have you used this jump rope 196 00:05:24,474 --> 00:05:27,182 in the last year? 197 00:05:27,224 --> 00:05:28,516 Are you kidding? 198 00:05:28,557 --> 00:05:30,057 I hop threads 199 00:05:28,557 --> 00:05:30,057 every morning, son! 200 00:05:30,099 --> 00:05:32,182 Do three in a row 201 00:05:30,099 --> 00:05:32,182 and you can keep it. 202 00:05:35,182 --> 00:05:36,140 Well-played, Mosby. 203 00:05:36,182 --> 00:05:38,557 Next! 204 00:05:40,182 --> 00:05:41,808 Have you used it 205 00:05:40,182 --> 00:05:41,808 in the last year? 206 00:05:41,849 --> 00:05:44,932 Gee, I can't remember. 207 00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:50,849 Are you trying to bribe me? 208 00:05:50,890 --> 00:05:52,307 I don't know what 209 00:05:50,890 --> 00:05:52,307 you're talking about. 210 00:05:52,349 --> 00:05:53,516 Take it. 211 00:05:53,557 --> 00:05:54,516 Triangle! 212 00:05:55,766 --> 00:05:56,766 Next! 213 00:06:00,182 --> 00:06:02,766 Wow, you're a natural... 214 00:06:00,182 --> 00:06:02,766 Dad. 215 00:06:03,766 --> 00:06:05,349 You know, I love Robin. 216 00:06:05,390 --> 00:06:06,932 And her sister's okay, I guess. 217 00:06:06,973 --> 00:06:10,557 But there's something nice 218 00:06:06,973 --> 00:06:10,557 about finally having... 219 00:06:10,599 --> 00:06:11,557 a son. 220 00:06:11,599 --> 00:06:14,265 A s... 221 00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:16,057 I... 222 00:06:16,099 --> 00:06:17,182 Cristalli twins, nine o'clock! 223 00:06:20,557 --> 00:06:22,516 Now make like your mommy's 224 00:06:20,557 --> 00:06:22,516 ovum and split! 225 00:06:23,599 --> 00:06:25,932 Solid biology joke, B-dawg. 226 00:06:25,973 --> 00:06:26,973 Woof, woof! 227 00:06:28,432 --> 00:06:29,641 Now, I'll admit, 228 00:06:29,682 --> 00:06:30,766 to the untrained eye, 229 00:06:30,808 --> 00:06:31,890 a few of my packing rulings 230 00:06:31,932 --> 00:06:33,182 may have seemed arbitrary. 231 00:06:33,224 --> 00:06:36,766 Let's Go Italy? Triangle. 232 00:06:36,808 --> 00:06:37,766 Triangle... 233 00:06:37,808 --> 00:06:38,808 let's go Italy. 234 00:06:40,224 --> 00:06:43,641 A gorilla suit and a blonde wig. 235 00:06:43,682 --> 00:06:45,265 Have you used either of these 236 00:06:43,682 --> 00:06:45,265 in the last year? 237 00:06:49,808 --> 00:06:51,641 Please, Queen Kong... 238 00:06:51,682 --> 00:06:53,015 be gentle. 239 00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:56,599 Nope, haven't used those. 240 00:06:56,641 --> 00:06:58,015 I don't think those 241 00:06:56,641 --> 00:06:58,015 even belong to us. 242 00:06:59,516 --> 00:07:01,265 Okay, here's an easy one. 243 00:07:01,307 --> 00:07:04,641 A leaky, ten-year-old 244 00:07:01,307 --> 00:07:04,641 beanbag chair 245 00:07:04,682 --> 00:07:06,808 covered in beer, bong water 246 00:07:06,849 --> 00:07:10,390 and fossilized Cool Ranch 247 00:07:06,849 --> 00:07:10,390 Dorito fingerprints. 248 00:07:10,432 --> 00:07:11,432 Italy. 249 00:07:11,474 --> 00:07:13,766 Vieni ancora per Fudge Grande? 250 00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:16,474 Guys, this chair 251 00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:16,474 has been here forever. 252 00:07:16,516 --> 00:07:17,849 You gotta take it with you. 253 00:07:17,932 --> 00:07:19,224 Italy. 254 00:07:17,932 --> 00:07:19,224 Ted... 255 00:07:19,265 --> 00:07:21,432 Italy doesn't need something 256 00:07:19,265 --> 00:07:21,432 that is wrinkled, 257 00:07:21,474 --> 00:07:22,932 red and leaky, 258 00:07:22,973 --> 00:07:25,432 and smells like booze 259 00:07:22,973 --> 00:07:25,432 and narcotics. 260 00:07:25,474 --> 00:07:28,015 They've already got former Prime 261 00:07:25,474 --> 00:07:28,015 Minister Silvio Berlusconi. 262 00:07:29,474 --> 00:07:30,890 I don't know who that is. 263 00:07:30,932 --> 00:07:33,557 All rulings are final. 264 00:07:33,599 --> 00:07:36,599 Okay, why are things that 265 00:07:33,599 --> 00:07:36,599 we like getting "Triangled" 266 00:07:36,641 --> 00:07:39,516 and crap you like 267 00:07:36,641 --> 00:07:39,516 sneaks through? 268 00:07:36,641 --> 00:07:39,516 Like what? 269 00:07:39,557 --> 00:07:41,516 That old 50-pound 270 00:07:39,557 --> 00:07:41,516 karaoke machine. 271 00:07:41,557 --> 00:07:42,724 Come on! 272 00:07:42,766 --> 00:07:44,349 We sang in the New Year in '02 273 00:07:44,390 --> 00:07:45,599 on this thing, remember? 274 00:07:45,641 --> 00:07:47,432 We were Destiny's Child! 275 00:07:49,932 --> 00:07:51,557 And since I was Beyonce, 276 00:07:51,599 --> 00:07:53,349 I'm pretty sure 277 00:07:51,599 --> 00:07:53,349 I get final say here, so... 278 00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:55,099 Oh, we were not your 279 00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:55,099 backup singers, bitch, 280 00:07:55,140 --> 00:07:56,724 we were a group. 281 00:07:56,766 --> 00:07:59,099 I'm sorry, are you guys 282 00:07:56,766 --> 00:07:59,099 married to Jay-Z, 283 00:07:59,140 --> 00:08:01,724 or am I married to Jay-Z? 284 00:08:01,766 --> 00:08:03,057 Italy. 285 00:08:05,599 --> 00:08:07,599 Wow. 286 00:08:07,641 --> 00:08:09,599 The way you used that kid 287 00:08:07,641 --> 00:08:09,599 having an asthma attack 288 00:08:09,641 --> 00:08:10,641 as a human shield? 289 00:08:10,682 --> 00:08:12,224 That took my breath away. 290 00:08:12,265 --> 00:08:13,932 Yeah. 291 00:08:12,265 --> 00:08:13,932 Okay, next, 292 00:08:13,973 --> 00:08:15,599 I'll be point guy 293 00:08:13,973 --> 00:08:15,599 and you lay down cover. 294 00:08:15,641 --> 00:08:17,182 So I'm... 295 00:08:15,641 --> 00:08:17,182 Whoa, whoa, whoa, 296 00:08:15,641 --> 00:08:17,182 whoa, whoa, whoa... 297 00:08:17,224 --> 00:08:18,973 are you suggesting that 298 00:08:17,224 --> 00:08:18,973 I will not be point guy? 299 00:08:20,057 --> 00:08:21,808 Look, 300 00:08:20,057 --> 00:08:21,808 if Michael Jordan's healthy, 301 00:08:21,849 --> 00:08:23,808 you don't let Scottie Pippen 302 00:08:21,849 --> 00:08:23,808 run the offense. 303 00:08:24,932 --> 00:08:27,015 Oh, you're from Canada, right. 304 00:08:27,057 --> 00:08:28,724 If... how do I put this? 305 00:08:28,766 --> 00:08:31,349 If Wayne Gretzky's healthy, 306 00:08:28,766 --> 00:08:31,349 you don't let... 307 00:08:31,390 --> 00:08:32,682 uh... 308 00:08:32,724 --> 00:08:34,349 François... 309 00:08:34,390 --> 00:08:38,599 What I'm saying is: hockey 310 00:08:34,390 --> 00:08:38,599 is stupid and I'm point guy. 311 00:08:38,641 --> 00:08:40,973 Well, I'm point guy 312 00:08:38,641 --> 00:08:40,973 or I'm off the team. 313 00:08:41,015 --> 00:08:43,724 Gah! You are the most stubborn 314 00:08:41,015 --> 00:08:43,724 human being I have ever met! 315 00:08:43,766 --> 00:08:44,849 You better get used to it... 316 00:08:44,890 --> 00:08:46,224 you're marrying a Scherbatsky. 317 00:08:46,265 --> 00:08:48,641 Your daughter is not 318 00:08:46,265 --> 00:08:48,641 even a fraction 319 00:08:48,682 --> 00:08:52,808 as obstinate, stubborn 320 00:08:48,682 --> 00:08:52,808 and... insane as you are! 321 00:08:52,849 --> 00:08:55,973 Where are you, 322 00:08:52,849 --> 00:08:55,973 you son of a bitch? 323 00:08:57,265 --> 00:08:58,641 Look away, kids, 324 00:08:57,265 --> 00:08:58,641 she's about to pee. 325 00:08:58,682 --> 00:08:59,682 What...? 326 00:08:59,724 --> 00:09:01,432 I am not some animal. 327 00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:02,973 I peed 20 minutes ago 328 00:09:03,015 --> 00:09:05,140 and I buried it neatly 329 00:09:03,015 --> 00:09:05,140 because I am a lady! 330 00:09:12,140 --> 00:09:14,682 Ted, we haven't used this chair 331 00:09:12,140 --> 00:09:14,682 in the last year. 332 00:09:14,724 --> 00:09:17,265 Ergo, Triangle. 333 00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:19,057 Yeah, I guess I see your point. 334 00:09:19,099 --> 00:09:21,682 I mean, if you haven't used it 335 00:09:19,099 --> 00:09:21,682 in the last year... 336 00:09:21,724 --> 00:09:22,724 Oh! 337 00:09:22,766 --> 00:09:23,724 Using it! 338 00:09:23,766 --> 00:09:24,724 Italy! 339 00:09:24,766 --> 00:09:26,099 Triangle! 340 00:09:26,140 --> 00:09:27,557 Italy. 341 00:09:27,599 --> 00:09:28,557 Triangle! 342 00:09:27,599 --> 00:09:28,557 Triangle! 343 00:09:28,599 --> 00:09:29,557 Italy. 344 00:09:29,599 --> 00:09:30,557 Okay, stop! 345 00:09:30,599 --> 00:09:31,766 Every time he lands, 346 00:09:31,808 --> 00:09:34,808 that chair farts out 347 00:09:31,808 --> 00:09:34,808 ten-year-old Dorito dust. 348 00:09:34,849 --> 00:09:36,766 Yeah, it's the chair. 349 00:09:36,808 --> 00:09:39,724 Guys, trust me: you're gonna 350 00:09:36,808 --> 00:09:39,724 want this chair in Italy. 351 00:09:39,766 --> 00:09:42,182 I... it'll feel like home. 352 00:09:43,224 --> 00:09:44,182 All right, buddy. 353 00:09:44,224 --> 00:09:46,808 You win. Italy. 354 00:09:46,849 --> 00:09:48,349 Really? 355 00:09:46,849 --> 00:09:48,349 Yeah. 356 00:09:48,390 --> 00:09:49,849 We asked you to be 357 00:09:48,390 --> 00:09:49,849 the judge here 358 00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:51,890 and we gotta trust your opinion. 359 00:09:51,932 --> 00:09:52,932 She's right. 360 00:09:52,973 --> 00:09:54,224 And with all the traveling 361 00:09:54,265 --> 00:09:55,849 that we'll be doing... 362 00:09:55,890 --> 00:09:57,932 we could probably use 363 00:09:55,890 --> 00:09:57,932 a couple of your... 364 00:09:57,973 --> 00:09:59,682 hands-free belt satchels. 365 00:10:00,641 --> 00:10:01,890 You said they were lame. 366 00:10:01,932 --> 00:10:03,641 I hate to admit it, 367 00:10:03,682 --> 00:10:06,432 but they actually sound useful. 368 00:10:06,474 --> 00:10:09,766 Could you buy us a couple? 369 00:10:09,808 --> 00:10:12,599 Two hands-free belt satchels, 370 00:10:09,808 --> 00:10:12,599 coming right up. 371 00:10:12,641 --> 00:10:14,557 Oh, and don't worry, 372 00:10:12,641 --> 00:10:14,557 I'll get cool colors 373 00:10:14,599 --> 00:10:16,182 so you guys don't look like 374 00:10:16,224 --> 00:10:18,557 whatever the Spanish term really 375 00:10:16,224 --> 00:10:18,557 is for "Fanny Pack Dork." 376 00:10:25,015 --> 00:10:29,265 Men, it's us... versus them. 377 00:10:30,682 --> 00:10:33,057 Our actions here today 378 00:10:33,099 --> 00:10:34,973 will echo through eternity... 379 00:10:35,015 --> 00:10:37,808 Stand up straight, Kaden! 380 00:10:37,849 --> 00:10:41,849 I only have one rule, 381 00:10:37,849 --> 00:10:41,849 you worthless maggots: 382 00:10:41,890 --> 00:10:43,973 We all respect each other. 383 00:10:44,557 --> 00:10:46,516 I only have one rule: 384 00:10:46,557 --> 00:10:48,099 For every three tens you bang, 385 00:10:48,140 --> 00:10:49,890 throw a bone to a five. 386 00:10:49,932 --> 00:10:52,182 They're grateful and 387 00:10:49,932 --> 00:10:52,182 hard-working and let's face it, 388 00:10:52,224 --> 00:10:54,099 sometimes you just want 389 00:10:52,224 --> 00:10:54,099 to lay there. 390 00:10:54,140 --> 00:10:56,099 What's that got to do 391 00:10:54,140 --> 00:10:56,099 with Laser Tag? 392 00:10:59,516 --> 00:11:01,890 Everything! 393 00:11:01,932 --> 00:11:03,932 and we will prevail, 394 00:11:03,973 --> 00:11:06,641 even if it takes all night! 395 00:11:06,682 --> 00:11:07,641 Tanner. 396 00:11:07,682 --> 00:11:09,766 I have to be home by 4:00. 397 00:11:12,557 --> 00:11:14,890 Anyone else have 398 00:11:12,557 --> 00:11:14,890 any scheduling issues? 399 00:11:14,932 --> 00:11:17,474 You can take down anyone 400 00:11:14,932 --> 00:11:17,474 on their team... 401 00:11:17,516 --> 00:11:19,932 but I want the big man 402 00:11:17,516 --> 00:11:19,932 for myself. 403 00:11:19,973 --> 00:11:21,932 What's your beef with oldie? 404 00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:24,516 He's... 405 00:11:24,557 --> 00:11:25,516 my father. 406 00:11:25,557 --> 00:11:26,516 Father-in-law. 407 00:11:26,557 --> 00:11:27,682 Shut up, Kai. 408 00:11:33,932 --> 00:11:35,057 Wait a second... 409 00:11:35,099 --> 00:11:37,849 We get it, you pack 410 00:11:35,099 --> 00:11:37,849 a lot in your fanny. 411 00:11:37,890 --> 00:11:40,349 Obvious yet delightful. 412 00:11:40,390 --> 00:11:41,890 Oh, no! 413 00:11:46,557 --> 00:11:49,516 No! 414 00:11:51,557 --> 00:11:53,516 El Ganso! 415 00:11:51,557 --> 00:11:53,516 El Ganso! 416 00:11:53,557 --> 00:11:56,390 Liars! 417 00:11:53,557 --> 00:11:56,390 You sent me on a fool's errand. 418 00:11:56,432 --> 00:12:00,516 Okay, to be fair, 419 00:11:56,432 --> 00:12:00,516 buying a fanny pack is 420 00:11:56,432 --> 00:12:00,516 inherently a fool's errand. 421 00:12:00,557 --> 00:12:03,015 Hands-free belt satchels. 422 00:12:03,057 --> 00:12:05,182 And just for that, 423 00:12:03,057 --> 00:12:05,182 I will not move from this chair 424 00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:06,474 until you agree to keep it! 425 00:12:06,516 --> 00:12:08,182 Ted, unlike that chair, 426 00:12:08,224 --> 00:12:10,182 you, sir, are full of beans. 427 00:12:10,224 --> 00:12:11,599 You have a job interview 428 00:12:10,224 --> 00:12:11,599 in half an hour. 429 00:12:14,182 --> 00:12:16,265 Screw the interview. 430 00:12:14,182 --> 00:12:16,265 I'm staying. 431 00:12:16,307 --> 00:12:20,307 And because the forecast 432 00:12:16,307 --> 00:12:20,307 calls for rain... 433 00:12:20,349 --> 00:12:22,265 This... is a raincoat. 434 00:12:31,932 --> 00:12:32,890 Go for Barney. 435 00:12:32,932 --> 00:12:35,516 Hey. Um... 436 00:12:35,557 --> 00:12:37,265 I'm having an issue. 437 00:12:37,307 --> 00:12:38,557 Now, listen, Robin... 438 00:12:38,599 --> 00:12:40,015 is this urgent or can we talk 439 00:12:38,599 --> 00:12:40,015 about it later? 440 00:12:41,682 --> 00:12:43,432 Nah, it's stupid. 441 00:12:43,474 --> 00:12:46,099 Have fun. 442 00:12:47,932 --> 00:12:49,474 So long, losers! 443 00:12:52,349 --> 00:12:53,307 Um... 444 00:12:53,349 --> 00:12:55,432 Look, can you guys 445 00:12:53,349 --> 00:12:55,432 help me down? 446 00:12:55,474 --> 00:12:57,099 I... um... 447 00:12:57,140 --> 00:12:59,349 Ted, if this chair really 448 00:12:57,140 --> 00:12:59,349 means that much to you, 449 00:12:59,390 --> 00:13:01,099 why don't you just 450 00:12:59,390 --> 00:13:01,099 take it for yourself? 451 00:13:01,140 --> 00:13:03,641 No, it's important 452 00:13:01,140 --> 00:13:03,641 that you keep it. 453 00:13:03,682 --> 00:13:05,307 Why? 454 00:13:05,349 --> 00:13:06,932 This is the first thing 455 00:13:05,349 --> 00:13:06,932 we bought 456 00:13:06,973 --> 00:13:08,724 when we moved here 457 00:13:06,973 --> 00:13:08,724 after college. 458 00:13:08,766 --> 00:13:11,932 It was the only piece of 459 00:13:08,766 --> 00:13:11,932 furniture we had for a week. 460 00:13:11,973 --> 00:13:12,932 And now you two are 461 00:13:12,973 --> 00:13:14,307 moving to Italy. 462 00:13:14,349 --> 00:13:16,182 What if our friendship 463 00:13:14,349 --> 00:13:16,182 doesn't pass 464 00:13:16,224 --> 00:13:18,265 the "Have you used it in a year" 465 00:13:16,224 --> 00:13:18,265 test? 466 00:13:18,307 --> 00:13:21,265 If you can throw 467 00:13:18,307 --> 00:13:21,265 out this chair... 468 00:13:21,307 --> 00:13:23,724 who's to say you can't 469 00:13:21,307 --> 00:13:23,724 throw me out, too? 470 00:13:23,766 --> 00:13:24,973 That could never happen. 471 00:13:25,015 --> 00:13:27,307 You're not a chair, 472 00:13:25,015 --> 00:13:27,307 you're our best friend. 473 00:13:27,349 --> 00:13:30,349 You can say that, 474 00:13:27,349 --> 00:13:30,349 but a lot can change in a year. 475 00:13:30,390 --> 00:13:31,349 Buddy, I... 476 00:13:31,390 --> 00:13:32,890 Look, I know I'm being crazy. 477 00:13:32,932 --> 00:13:36,182 I just... 478 00:13:36,224 --> 00:13:38,557 I just need a moment 479 00:13:36,224 --> 00:13:38,557 with this chair. 480 00:13:38,599 --> 00:13:40,849 You know... to say good-bye. 481 00:13:40,890 --> 00:13:43,265 We'll give you two 482 00:13:40,890 --> 00:13:43,265 some space. 483 00:13:46,932 --> 00:13:50,599 Kids, you can't cling 484 00:13:46,932 --> 00:13:50,599 to the past. 485 00:13:56,265 --> 00:14:00,307 Because no matter how tightly 486 00:13:56,265 --> 00:14:00,307 you hold on... 487 00:14:01,516 --> 00:14:03,932 it's already gone. 488 00:14:08,057 --> 00:14:09,057 Hello? 489 00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:10,224 Hi. 490 00:14:10,265 --> 00:14:14,307 I'm at the Central Park Carousel 491 00:14:10,265 --> 00:14:14,307 and, um... 492 00:14:14,349 --> 00:14:16,265 I'm having a little bit 493 00:14:14,349 --> 00:14:16,265 of an issue. 494 00:14:16,307 --> 00:14:17,849 Uh, what kind of issue? 495 00:14:17,890 --> 00:14:20,724 Actually, it's a long story... 496 00:14:20,766 --> 00:14:22,641 Um, Robin, listen, 497 00:14:20,766 --> 00:14:22,641 I'm-I'm late for a big meeting. 498 00:14:22,682 --> 00:14:23,724 Is it important? 499 00:14:24,932 --> 00:14:27,015 Nah, it's stupid. 500 00:14:27,057 --> 00:14:29,890 Good luck. 501 00:14:29,932 --> 00:14:31,932 All right, here's 502 00:14:29,932 --> 00:14:31,932 the bottom line, cockroaches. 503 00:14:31,973 --> 00:14:34,099 There's no end in sight 504 00:14:34,140 --> 00:14:36,599 and we've got no provisions. 505 00:14:36,641 --> 00:14:38,224 If it comes down to it, 506 00:14:38,265 --> 00:14:41,265 I need a volunteer to let 507 00:14:38,265 --> 00:14:41,265 the rest of us... 508 00:14:41,307 --> 00:14:42,307 eat him. 509 00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:44,099 Barney's team seems 510 00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:44,099 way more fun. 511 00:14:44,140 --> 00:14:45,099 Nonsense. 512 00:14:45,140 --> 00:14:46,140 Candy for everyone! 513 00:14:47,599 --> 00:14:50,099 Okay, Team Animal House... 514 00:14:47,599 --> 00:14:50,099 who wants to try a cigar? 515 00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:51,724 Yeah! 516 00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:51,724 Yay! 517 00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:52,973 I'm not saying we're gonna start 518 00:14:53,015 --> 00:14:54,099 with your face or anything, 519 00:14:54,140 --> 00:14:55,516 but is there seriously 520 00:14:54,140 --> 00:14:55,516 no one here 521 00:14:55,557 --> 00:14:57,557 willing to give up 522 00:14:55,557 --> 00:14:57,557 a hand or a foot? 523 00:14:57,599 --> 00:14:58,808 We're outta here! 524 00:15:22,057 --> 00:15:24,140 Ted, why are you here? 525 00:15:24,182 --> 00:15:26,182 You had that meeting; 526 00:15:24,182 --> 00:15:26,182 I told you not to come. 527 00:15:26,224 --> 00:15:27,973 You said, "Nah, it's stupid," 528 00:15:28,015 --> 00:15:30,808 which is Robin-ese for, 529 00:15:28,015 --> 00:15:30,808 "It's important." 530 00:15:30,849 --> 00:15:32,182 Everyone knows that. 531 00:15:34,474 --> 00:15:37,973 Well... not everyone. 532 00:15:38,015 --> 00:15:39,641 But you shouldn't have 533 00:15:38,015 --> 00:15:39,641 skipped that meeting. 534 00:15:39,682 --> 00:15:40,849 Was it important? 535 00:15:40,890 --> 00:15:43,224 Nah, it's stupid. 536 00:15:44,224 --> 00:15:47,015 And yet, my future husband... 537 00:15:47,057 --> 00:15:49,682 who I sometimes fear 538 00:15:47,057 --> 00:15:49,682 is troublingly similar 539 00:15:49,724 --> 00:15:52,599 to my emotionally 540 00:15:49,724 --> 00:15:52,599 unavailable father... 541 00:15:52,641 --> 00:15:55,682 is off shooting laser guns 542 00:15:52,641 --> 00:15:55,682 with, oh, yeah, you guessed it: 543 00:15:55,724 --> 00:15:57,724 my emotionally 544 00:15:55,724 --> 00:15:57,724 unavailable father. 545 00:15:57,766 --> 00:15:59,224 Oh, come on, that's not fair. 546 00:15:59,265 --> 00:16:00,641 If you told Barney 547 00:15:59,265 --> 00:16:00,641 that you needed him, 548 00:16:00,682 --> 00:16:01,890 he'd be here in a heartbeat. 549 00:16:01,932 --> 00:16:04,557 I didn't have to tell you. 550 00:16:04,599 --> 00:16:06,557 And you're here. 551 00:16:07,265 --> 00:16:09,182 You don't even know why. 552 00:16:11,140 --> 00:16:14,099 Seems like I'm here to dig. 553 00:16:26,516 --> 00:16:28,766 Looking for "D's? 554 00:16:30,140 --> 00:16:33,307 Long story short, 555 00:16:30,140 --> 00:16:33,307 I promised my future self 556 00:16:33,349 --> 00:16:35,808 the locket would be my 557 00:16:33,349 --> 00:16:35,808 "something old" at my wedding. 558 00:16:36,808 --> 00:16:38,516 What? 559 00:16:38,557 --> 00:16:40,099 No, I just like that there was 560 00:16:40,140 --> 00:16:41,724 ever a version of you 561 00:16:41,766 --> 00:16:44,057 who imagined having a 562 00:16:41,766 --> 00:16:44,057 "something old" at your wedding. 563 00:16:45,265 --> 00:16:47,766 Robin Scherbatsky... 564 00:16:45,265 --> 00:16:47,766 you're a girl. 565 00:16:47,808 --> 00:16:48,849 Shut up. You're a girl. 566 00:16:48,890 --> 00:16:50,307 That's been established. 567 00:16:50,349 --> 00:16:52,432 The new information here 568 00:16:50,349 --> 00:16:52,432 is that you're a girl. 569 00:16:55,432 --> 00:16:57,516 Wait... is that...? 570 00:16:57,557 --> 00:16:59,766 Oh, my God, I found it. 571 00:17:03,015 --> 00:17:04,973 Okay... 572 00:17:05,015 --> 00:17:06,808 what's really going on 573 00:17:05,015 --> 00:17:06,808 with this locket? 574 00:17:08,808 --> 00:17:10,890 I'm gonna admit something 575 00:17:08,808 --> 00:17:10,890 that I couldn't admit 576 00:17:10,932 --> 00:17:12,140 until I found this. 577 00:17:13,557 --> 00:17:16,182 I've been having fears 578 00:17:13,557 --> 00:17:16,182 about marrying Barney. 579 00:17:16,932 --> 00:17:18,307 I mean, in many ways, 580 00:17:18,349 --> 00:17:21,808 he's-he's grown up 581 00:17:18,349 --> 00:17:21,808 into a mature, caring adult... 582 00:17:21,849 --> 00:17:24,557 I'm gonna shoot you 583 00:17:21,849 --> 00:17:24,557 with your own gun. 584 00:17:27,307 --> 00:17:29,432 but I still don't know 585 00:17:27,307 --> 00:17:29,432 if he's ready for this. 586 00:17:30,808 --> 00:17:33,015 I still don't know if I am. 587 00:17:33,682 --> 00:17:35,890 But if I could find 588 00:17:33,682 --> 00:17:35,890 this locket... 589 00:17:35,932 --> 00:17:38,724 if it was still here, 590 00:17:35,932 --> 00:17:38,724 waiting for me... 591 00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:40,474 that would mean 592 00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:40,474 that the Universe 593 00:17:40,516 --> 00:17:41,890 wanted me to marry Barney. 594 00:17:41,932 --> 00:17:43,808 And that everything 595 00:17:41,932 --> 00:17:43,808 was gonna be okay. 596 00:17:45,724 --> 00:17:48,224 And when it was gone, 597 00:17:45,724 --> 00:17:48,224 it was like... 598 00:17:48,265 --> 00:17:52,099 every doubt I-I ever had 599 00:17:48,265 --> 00:17:52,099 about Barney, 600 00:17:52,140 --> 00:17:54,724 about myself, got dug up. 601 00:17:55,890 --> 00:17:57,307 But I found it. 602 00:17:58,557 --> 00:18:00,390 And everything's gonna be okay. 603 00:18:03,390 --> 00:18:05,265 Any last words? 604 00:18:05,307 --> 00:18:06,890 You know, seeing you 605 00:18:05,307 --> 00:18:06,890 on the field of battle... 606 00:18:06,932 --> 00:18:10,557 ruthless, manipulative, 607 00:18:06,932 --> 00:18:10,557 untrustworthy... 608 00:18:10,599 --> 00:18:13,516 you've got all the qualities 609 00:18:10,599 --> 00:18:13,516 I would've wanted in a son. 610 00:18:14,349 --> 00:18:16,557 Now I say to you 611 00:18:16,599 --> 00:18:18,849 the last words 612 00:18:16,599 --> 00:18:18,849 my father said to me: 613 00:18:18,890 --> 00:18:21,265 "Shoot me already." 614 00:18:21,307 --> 00:18:25,349 Or we could keep playing, 615 00:18:21,307 --> 00:18:25,349 if you want. 616 00:18:25,390 --> 00:18:28,307 Nah, it's stupid. 617 00:18:28,349 --> 00:18:31,099 Okay, Team Animal House, 618 00:18:28,349 --> 00:18:31,099 I got him! 619 00:18:31,140 --> 00:18:32,766 Come on out! 620 00:18:32,808 --> 00:18:34,890 You're point guy, R-dawg. 621 00:18:34,932 --> 00:18:36,432 Woof, woof. 622 00:18:58,516 --> 00:19:00,724 Oh, thank God. 623 00:19:12,932 --> 00:19:14,182 This is a sign 624 00:19:12,932 --> 00:19:14,182 from the Universe. 625 00:19:14,224 --> 00:19:15,349 It's not a sign 626 00:19:14,224 --> 00:19:15,349 from the Universe... 627 00:19:15,390 --> 00:19:18,390 Yes, it is! 628 00:19:15,390 --> 00:19:18,390 The-the locket is just gone 629 00:19:18,432 --> 00:19:20,599 and you're telling me 630 00:19:18,432 --> 00:19:20,599 that doesn't mean anything? 631 00:19:20,641 --> 00:19:23,474 You know this is a bad omen, 632 00:19:20,641 --> 00:19:23,474 Ted... you're Universe Guy! 633 00:19:23,516 --> 00:19:25,224 And you're Skeptic Girl! 634 00:19:25,265 --> 00:19:26,808 You're-you're not supposed 635 00:19:25,265 --> 00:19:26,808 to believe any of that. 636 00:19:26,849 --> 00:19:30,641 Well, maybe I've grown skeptical 637 00:19:26,849 --> 00:19:30,641 of being skeptical. 638 00:19:30,682 --> 00:19:32,099 This is a sign. 639 00:19:32,140 --> 00:19:33,265 Look, it's not a sign. 640 00:19:33,307 --> 00:19:35,641 You're doing the right thing 641 00:19:33,307 --> 00:19:35,641 marrying Barney. 642 00:19:35,682 --> 00:19:38,557 The Universe isn't 643 00:19:35,682 --> 00:19:38,557 sending you some message. 644 00:19:41,808 --> 00:19:43,516 As we know from science, 645 00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:47,265 rain is liquid water 646 00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:47,265 in the form of droplets 647 00:19:47,307 --> 00:19:49,432 which have condensed 648 00:19:47,307 --> 00:19:49,432 from atmospheric vapor 649 00:19:49,474 --> 00:19:51,849 and then precipitated. 650 00:19:49,474 --> 00:19:51,849 It's not a sign. 651 00:19:51,890 --> 00:19:55,099 Ted, this is a sign 652 00:19:51,890 --> 00:19:55,099 and you know it. 653 00:19:55,140 --> 00:19:58,724 I mean, the Universe is 654 00:19:55,140 --> 00:19:58,724 screaming at me right now! 655 00:19:58,766 --> 00:20:00,516 How-how-how can you, 656 00:19:58,766 --> 00:20:00,516 of all people, 657 00:20:00,557 --> 00:20:02,057 tell me to ignore that? 658 00:20:02,099 --> 00:20:05,516 Because maybe it's dumb to look 659 00:20:02,099 --> 00:20:05,516 for "signs from the Universe." 660 00:20:05,557 --> 00:20:08,099 I mean, maybe the Universe 661 00:20:05,557 --> 00:20:08,099 has better things to do. 662 00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:10,390 Dear God, I hope it does. 663 00:20:10,432 --> 00:20:11,932 Do you know how many 664 00:20:10,432 --> 00:20:11,932 "signs" I've gotten 665 00:20:11,973 --> 00:20:13,890 that I should or shouldn't 666 00:20:11,973 --> 00:20:13,890 be with someone? 667 00:20:13,932 --> 00:20:15,599 And where has it gotten me? 668 00:20:17,015 --> 00:20:18,307 Maybe there aren't any signs. 669 00:20:18,349 --> 00:20:21,557 Maybe... maybe a locket's 670 00:20:18,349 --> 00:20:21,557 just a locket, 671 00:20:21,599 --> 00:20:24,724 a chair is just a chair. 672 00:20:24,766 --> 00:20:25,724 Maybe we don't have to 673 00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:28,599 give meaning 674 00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:28,599 to every little thing. 675 00:20:28,641 --> 00:20:30,766 Maybe we don't... 676 00:20:30,808 --> 00:20:32,432 maybe we don't need the Universe 677 00:20:32,474 --> 00:20:34,890 to tell us what we really want. 678 00:20:34,932 --> 00:20:39,307 Maybe we already know that, 679 00:20:34,932 --> 00:20:39,307 deep down.