1
00:00:04,981 --> 00:00:07,220
Kids,
Barney's mom had this blouse

2
00:00:07,221 --> 00:00:09,357
that she absolutely loved,

3
00:00:09,359 --> 00:00:11,027
but then Robin won it
in a poker game,

4
00:00:11,029 --> 00:00:13,198
which led
to some slight awkwardness.

5
00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:17,072
You won the battle...
but I'll win the war.

6
00:00:17,074 --> 00:00:18,909
Game on, bitch.

7
00:00:18,911 --> 00:00:22,466
Please, Mom,
I need you to just be cool.

8
00:00:22,468 --> 00:00:24,020
Okay, can you do that for me?

9
00:00:24,022 --> 00:00:25,088
For you, yes.

10
00:00:25,090 --> 00:00:26,590
And for Robin?

11
00:00:26,592 --> 00:00:27,977
She's gonna be

12
00:00:27,979 --> 00:00:29,930
your daughter in 33 hours.

13
00:00:29,932 --> 00:00:30,899
Daughter in law.

14
00:00:30,901 --> 00:00:32,152
Making it illegal

15
00:00:32,154 --> 00:00:34,156
for you not
to treat her like a daughter.

16
00:00:34,158 --> 00:00:35,876
In-lawyered.

17
00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:37,779
Please, Mom.

18
00:00:37,781 --> 00:00:40,552
All Robin wants to do is
put this whole thing behind her

19
00:00:40,554 --> 00:00:43,425
so she can get married and
put this whole thing behind her.

20
00:00:43,427 --> 00:00:45,312
Ah! Get-this-over-with-quickly
so-we-can

21
00:00:45,314 --> 00:00:48,234
move-past-how-awkward-it-was
that-I-just-said-that five!

22
00:00:48,236 --> 00:00:50,405
Fine. If Robin's ready
to bury the hatchet,

23
00:00:50,407 --> 00:00:53,078
then I guess
I'm ready to bury the hatchet.

24
00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:55,782
Morning, bitches.
Like my new blouse?

25
00:00:55,784 --> 00:00:57,786
Oh, hell, no!
No, Mom. Mom!

26
00:00:57,788 --> 00:00:59,040
Hey, hey, hey, hey!

27
00:01:06,493 --> 00:01:11,498
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

28
00:01:11,699 --> 00:01:14,019
Kids, not far
from the Farhampton Inn,

29
00:01:14,021 --> 00:01:15,038
there's a lighthouse.

30
00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:16,857
It's a really special place,

31
00:01:16,859 --> 00:01:19,497
and that morning
I wanted to see it for myself.

32
00:01:19,499 --> 00:01:20,749
There was just one problem.

33
00:01:20,751 --> 00:01:23,037
Look, I'm sorry, Ted, but-but

34
00:01:23,039 --> 00:01:25,708
I can't in good faith send
a lonely guy like yourself

35
00:01:25,710 --> 00:01:27,896
to the top
of a very romantic,

36
00:01:27,898 --> 00:01:30,819
and more to the point,
a very tall lighthouse.

37
00:01:32,724 --> 00:01:35,195
I don't want your blood
on my hands,

38
00:01:35,197 --> 00:01:38,201
and I mean that literally,
because it would be my job to...

39
00:01:38,203 --> 00:01:40,255
to hose down the rocks.

40
00:01:40,257 --> 00:01:42,593
Now, late the night before,

41
00:01:42,595 --> 00:01:45,348
thanks to Marshall's
travel companion, Daphne,

42
00:01:45,350 --> 00:01:48,104
Lily had received
some unsettling news.

43
00:01:48,106 --> 00:01:49,673
I'm gonna be a judge.

44
00:01:49,675 --> 00:01:51,978
Screwing up their
whole plan to move to Italy.

45
00:01:51,980 --> 00:01:53,264
She wasn't happy.

46
00:01:53,266 --> 00:01:54,900
Yes, I'm in a rotten mood.

47
00:01:54,902 --> 00:01:56,320
No, I don't want
to talk about it.

48
00:01:56,322 --> 00:01:57,890
Yes, this has
booze in it.

49
00:01:57,892 --> 00:01:59,376
No, it's not
my first.

50
00:01:59,378 --> 00:02:01,747
You want to make this brunch
a drunch?

51
00:02:01,749 --> 00:02:03,918
You do you, I'm not gonna judge.

52
00:02:05,389 --> 00:02:06,457
I'm gonna be a judge.

53
00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:08,178
Judge.

54
00:02:09,848 --> 00:02:12,653
Thank you, Linus.

55
00:02:12,655 --> 00:02:14,073
As for Marshall and Daphne,

56
00:02:14,075 --> 00:02:15,642
they got caught
in that big storm.

57
00:02:15,644 --> 00:02:17,997
Luckily, they had a place
to crash for the night.

58
00:02:17,999 --> 00:02:19,950
My childhood home.

59
00:02:19,952 --> 00:02:23,374
Okay, that sign
might not have been there.

60
00:02:23,376 --> 00:02:25,962
Thank you so much for letting
us stay the night, Mrs. Mosby.

61
00:02:25,964 --> 00:02:27,099
Oh, it's our pleasure.

62
00:02:27,101 --> 00:02:29,136
I'm just glad that storm has passed.
Oh.

63
00:02:29,138 --> 00:02:31,491
But there's one storm
that hasn't passed,

64
00:02:31,493 --> 00:02:33,511
isn't there, Marshall?

65
00:02:33,513 --> 00:02:35,198
Hey, Clint.

66
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:37,185
You know what I'm talking
about, don't you, Marshall?

67
00:02:37,187 --> 00:02:38,538
I'm talking about the one
that's been raining

68
00:02:38,540 --> 00:02:42,129
cats and dogs all over
this-this, this friendship.

69
00:02:42,131 --> 00:02:43,414
This isn't a friendship.

70
00:02:43,416 --> 00:02:44,917
Oh.

71
00:02:44,919 --> 00:02:46,870
Nice.

72
00:02:46,872 --> 00:02:49,643
We're reluctant
travel companions.

73
00:02:49,645 --> 00:02:51,013
Well, little known fact
about me.

74
00:02:51,015 --> 00:02:52,266
I'm an almost-graduate

75
00:02:52,268 --> 00:02:55,355
of the Conflict Resolution
program over at... at Tri-C.

76
00:02:55,357 --> 00:02:58,444
I even had my own practice
at Van Aken Plaza

77
00:02:58,446 --> 00:02:59,730
before the manager
of the Wendy's

78
00:02:59,732 --> 00:03:01,634
made me stop hogging the booth.

79
00:03:01,636 --> 00:03:04,290
The point is,
I can fix this.

80
00:03:04,292 --> 00:03:05,875
Oh, I don't know, Clint.

81
00:03:14,979 --> 00:03:16,948
Okay, you know what?
We have to hit the road.

82
00:03:16,950 --> 00:03:20,438
But, um, Mrs. Mosby, do you
mind if I take this mug?

83
00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:22,125
I would very much like

84
00:03:22,127 --> 00:03:24,246
to make fun of Ted
next time I see him.

85
00:03:24,248 --> 00:03:25,448
Of course.

86
00:03:25,450 --> 00:03:27,002
You know, when Ted was seven,

87
00:03:27,004 --> 00:03:29,757
he and his best friend
took this Wild West photo

88
00:03:29,759 --> 00:03:31,060
together at Geauga Lake.

89
00:03:31,062 --> 00:03:32,579
I could go look for it.

90
00:03:32,581 --> 00:03:33,931
We really should get going.

91
00:03:33,933 --> 00:03:35,135
His best friend was a balloon.

92
00:03:35,136 --> 00:03:36,270
What's a few more minutes?

93
00:03:36,272 --> 00:03:38,307
Yeah, you're gonna want that.

94
00:03:38,309 --> 00:03:40,779
So... what's everyone
doing this morning?

95
00:03:40,781 --> 00:03:43,317
Oh, well, I kind of feel
like playing some tennis.

96
00:03:43,319 --> 00:03:44,787
Maybe we should reserve a court.

97
00:03:44,789 --> 00:03:46,257
Court.

98
00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:50,949
Thank you, Linus.

99
00:03:50,951 --> 00:03:52,969
Pancakes and eggs, Robin?

100
00:03:52,971 --> 00:03:56,176
I guess that blouse won't be
loose and flowy for long.

101
00:03:56,178 --> 00:03:57,011
Mom...

102
00:03:57,013 --> 00:03:58,114
Keep talking, Loretta.

103
00:03:58,116 --> 00:04:00,402
I've been waiting
all morning to...

104
00:04:00,404 --> 00:04:02,188
ketchup.

105
00:04:02,190 --> 00:04:03,624
Oops.

106
00:04:03,626 --> 00:04:07,382
You're not supposed to put
ketchup on scrambled eggs.

107
00:04:07,384 --> 00:04:09,169
Right, Loretta, because

108
00:04:09,171 --> 00:04:11,707
you're the queen
of scrambled eggs.

109
00:04:11,709 --> 00:04:12,542
Actually, that's

110
00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:14,012
exactly what she is.

111
00:04:14,014 --> 00:04:15,181
When Mom was

112
00:04:15,183 --> 00:04:16,550
a groupie in the '70s,

113
00:04:16,552 --> 00:04:19,991
her scrambled eggs made her the
darling of the MSG loading dock.

114
00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:22,446
Lot of songs written
about those scrambled eggs.

115
00:04:22,448 --> 00:04:24,232
ZZ Top's "She's Got Legs"?

116
00:04:24,234 --> 00:04:25,952
Originally "She's Got Eggs."

117
00:04:25,954 --> 00:04:26,837
Led Zeppelin?

118
00:04:26,839 --> 00:04:28,174
"Scramble On."

119
00:04:28,176 --> 00:04:29,460
Steve Miller?

120
00:04:29,462 --> 00:04:30,879
"The Yolker."

121
00:04:30,881 --> 00:04:33,101
If you listen to Pink Floyd's
Dark Side of the Moon

122
00:04:33,103 --> 00:04:36,223
while eating her eggs,
it lines up perfectly.

123
00:04:36,225 --> 00:04:39,696
While I'm sure it was
your mother's cooking skills

124
00:04:39,698 --> 00:04:43,371
that made her so popular with
Zed Zed Top and their ilk,

125
00:04:43,373 --> 00:04:44,957
I know for a fact

126
00:04:44,959 --> 00:04:47,629
that she does not make
the best scrambled eggs.

127
00:04:47,631 --> 00:04:50,969
Because my mom makes
the best scrambled eggs.

128
00:04:52,641 --> 00:04:54,626
Kids, we've known
your Aunt Robin

129
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,397
for eight years at that point,

130
00:04:56,399 --> 00:04:58,568
and here's what we knew
about her mom.

131
00:04:58,570 --> 00:04:59,736
My mom is terrified
of flying.

132
00:05:01,359 --> 00:05:03,361
My mom got stung
by a jellyfish.

133
00:05:04,698 --> 00:05:06,200
My mom makes
the best scrambled eggs.

134
00:05:07,337 --> 00:05:09,523
And... that's everything.

135
00:05:09,525 --> 00:05:11,760
In fact, she should be here
any minute.

136
00:05:11,762 --> 00:05:12,929
Barney,

137
00:05:12,931 --> 00:05:14,833
maybe she can cook you
some real scrambled eggs

138
00:05:14,835 --> 00:05:16,670
so you can see what
you've been missing.

139
00:05:16,672 --> 00:05:18,858
Don't do this, Robin.
You can't win the egg war.

140
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:20,695
Canadian scrambled eggs,
how quaint.

141
00:05:20,697 --> 00:05:22,849
Does your mom put maple syrup
on them?

142
00:05:22,851 --> 00:05:24,853
Ha, ha, ha,
this is all very friendly.

143
00:05:24,855 --> 00:05:26,189
Get out of this now.

144
00:05:26,191 --> 00:05:28,961
Why not? We put maple syrup
on everything else.

145
00:05:30,633 --> 00:05:31,717
Aw.

146
00:05:31,719 --> 00:05:34,089
That's it!

147
00:05:34,091 --> 00:05:36,343
We need your omelet station.

148
00:05:36,345 --> 00:05:39,850
My son's fiancée is
about to get served...

149
00:05:39,852 --> 00:05:42,072
some delicious
scrambled eggs.

150
00:05:42,074 --> 00:05:45,361
Or I could go out to the
driveway and eat some gravel.

151
00:05:46,499 --> 00:05:48,868
Wait. Sorry.
Did you say gravel or gavel?

152
00:05:48,870 --> 00:05:50,204
Gravel. Why would
I say gavel?

153
00:05:50,206 --> 00:05:51,540
Gavel.

154
00:05:55,467 --> 00:05:56,600
Thank you, Linus.

155
00:05:56,602 --> 00:05:58,471
Curtis, can I please

156
00:05:58,473 --> 00:06:00,642
have a map to the lighthouse?

157
00:06:00,644 --> 00:06:02,562
It's a very romantic lighthouse.

158
00:06:02,564 --> 00:06:03,764
I can't even have a map?

159
00:06:03,766 --> 00:06:05,902
It's a very romantic map.

160
00:06:05,904 --> 00:06:07,739
I can't let you go
without a date.

161
00:06:07,741 --> 00:06:09,159
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

162
00:06:09,161 --> 00:06:11,664
What happened to that girl Cassie?
Cassie?

163
00:06:11,666 --> 00:06:13,417
Cassie was the girl I'd spent

164
00:06:13,419 --> 00:06:15,287
the entire previous night
consoling.

165
00:06:15,289 --> 00:06:18,511
Just consoling.

166
00:06:18,513 --> 00:06:19,429
Yeah, that's not happening.

167
00:06:19,431 --> 00:06:21,483
And then, in her anger,

168
00:06:21,485 --> 00:06:23,303
Lily gave me a piece of advice

169
00:06:23,305 --> 00:06:24,823
about which
she would later say...

170
00:06:24,825 --> 00:06:28,030
Oh, mama, that was
some bad advice.

171
00:06:28,032 --> 00:06:29,833
Okay, here's why
you're an idiot.

172
00:06:29,835 --> 00:06:32,038
Did you find
Cassie attractive?

173
00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:35,327
I guess.
Is she a relatively normal height?

174
00:06:35,329 --> 00:06:38,333
Yeah.
So end up with her already.

175
00:06:38,335 --> 00:06:40,304
God, do you really think

176
00:06:40,306 --> 00:06:42,341
that you're gonna find
some perfect girl

177
00:06:42,343 --> 00:06:45,615
who checks off every
item on your list?

178
00:06:45,617 --> 00:06:47,035
Well, not every item.

179
00:06:47,037 --> 00:06:49,406
I mean, she doesn't have
to share my love for coins.

180
00:06:49,408 --> 00:06:51,794
Although it would
be nice, just once,

181
00:06:51,796 --> 00:06:55,201
not to have to go stag
to Coin-Con.

182
00:06:55,203 --> 00:06:57,639
Pull your head out
of your ass, Mosby.

183
00:06:57,641 --> 00:07:00,544
Do you think Marshall
always makes me happy?

184
00:07:00,546 --> 00:07:03,818
I mean, sometimes being
with him is a real trial.

185
00:07:03,820 --> 00:07:05,855
Real trial.

186
00:07:05,857 --> 00:07:06,874
Huh.

187
00:07:06,876 --> 00:07:08,661
Did it to myself that time.

188
00:07:08,663 --> 00:07:12,235
Look, Ted, it's
time to settle.

189
00:07:12,237 --> 00:07:14,372
Take this normal-sized chick
up to the lighthouse

190
00:07:14,374 --> 00:07:15,758
and fall in love with her

191
00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:19,466
and quit bothering us with
your dumb love life stuff.

192
00:07:19,468 --> 00:07:22,755
God, I am so sick of being
smarter than everyone else.

193
00:07:24,227 --> 00:07:25,228
You're slipping, Linus.

194
00:07:25,230 --> 00:07:27,732
We're running
out of glasses.

195
00:07:33,745 --> 00:07:36,500
Do you want to just go
to the stupid lighthouse?

196
00:07:36,502 --> 00:07:38,554
Ooh, zitch dog.

197
00:07:38,556 --> 00:07:40,174
Cocker spaniel in the Jetta.

198
00:07:40,176 --> 00:07:42,395
That's Marshall
Eriksen— 28,

199
00:07:42,397 --> 00:07:43,463
Daphne— zero.

200
00:07:43,465 --> 00:07:45,268
For the 28th time,

201
00:07:45,270 --> 00:07:47,489
I'm not playing
your stupid game!

202
00:07:47,491 --> 00:07:48,908
Oh, stupid, huh?

203
00:07:48,910 --> 00:07:49,976
That's great.

204
00:07:49,978 --> 00:07:51,998
I guess Daphne gets
to pick the music

205
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,485
and crap all over
my fun road-trip games.

206
00:07:54,487 --> 00:07:56,757
You know, maybe
Clint was right.

207
00:07:56,759 --> 00:07:58,928
Maybe we do need
conflict resolution.

208
00:07:58,930 --> 00:08:00,131
I knew you guys
would come around.

209
00:08:03,742 --> 00:08:06,413
And so I made up my mind
to settle for Cassie.

210
00:08:06,635 --> 00:08:09,472
So, um, what kind
of music do you like?

211
00:08:09,474 --> 00:08:12,344
Hmm... nothing.

212
00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:16,203
Still, I felt optimistic.

213
00:08:16,205 --> 00:08:18,290
After all,
Cassie was cute and single

214
00:08:18,292 --> 00:08:20,795
and heck, it's not like
the universe was telling us

215
00:08:20,797 --> 00:08:22,198
we shouldn't be together.

216
00:08:27,259 --> 00:08:29,813
Here we are. Enjoy.

217
00:08:29,815 --> 00:08:31,216
happy wife,
happy life.

218
00:08:31,218 --> 00:08:32,518
Pretend
they're just okay.

219
00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:35,774
Please, Lily,
I think I can manage to...

220
00:08:36,694 --> 00:08:38,664
Oh, my God.

221
00:08:38,666 --> 00:08:39,866
I'm eight years
old again,

222
00:08:39,868 --> 00:08:41,219
and life is perfect,

223
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:43,657
and I haven't peed my shorts
in front of 350 Webelos

224
00:08:43,659 --> 00:08:46,396
at the Pinewood Derby Regionals
in Wheeling, West Virginia.

225
00:08:46,398 --> 00:08:47,565
I'm sorry, Robin.

226
00:08:47,567 --> 00:08:48,901
What do you think, Lily?

227
00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:51,556
Oh, my God,
they are so delicious.

228
00:08:51,558 --> 00:08:53,927
Even more delicious than
finding out Barney peed himself

229
00:08:53,929 --> 00:08:56,816
at the Pinewood Derby Regionals
in Wheeling, West Virginia.

230
00:08:56,818 --> 00:08:58,370
I'm sorry, Robin.

231
00:08:58,372 --> 00:08:59,289
Mmm.
Come on,

232
00:08:59,291 --> 00:09:00,374
they can't be
that good.

233
00:09:00,376 --> 00:09:02,161
Oh!

234
00:09:02,163 --> 00:09:04,082
Excuse me, Mrs. Stinson,
some of our guests

235
00:09:04,084 --> 00:09:05,784
smelled your scrambled eggs
and were wondering

236
00:09:05,786 --> 00:09:08,056
if you could make some
for them as well.

237
00:09:08,058 --> 00:09:09,625
Oh, I don't think I should...

238
00:09:09,627 --> 00:09:12,899
Eggs! Eggs! Eggs!
Eggs! Eggs! Eggs!

239
00:09:12,901 --> 00:09:14,352
Eggs! Eggs!

240
00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:15,821
Clint, what are
you doing here?

241
00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:18,610
What the Ohio State Board of
Holistic Medicine has repeatedly

242
00:09:18,612 --> 00:09:21,833
told me I'm in no way qualified
to do: my job.

243
00:09:21,835 --> 00:09:24,990
When I see a conflict
needs resolving, I must act.

244
00:09:24,992 --> 00:09:26,927
Plus, Ted's mom wanted me out
of the house.

245
00:09:26,929 --> 00:09:29,265
So, today, we're gonna build
a new paradigm

246
00:09:29,267 --> 00:09:30,801
of understanding,

247
00:09:30,803 --> 00:09:33,607
and then you're gonna swoop me
on back to Shaker Heights.

248
00:09:33,609 --> 00:09:34,642
Oh, I need to stop

249
00:09:34,644 --> 00:09:36,112
at Record Rev on Coventry.

250
00:09:36,114 --> 00:09:37,398
My vaporizer's ready.

251
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:39,068
Marshall, pull over
and dump this hippie

252
00:09:39,070 --> 00:09:40,487
on the side of the road.

253
00:09:40,489 --> 00:09:41,689
I can't do that.

254
00:09:45,132 --> 00:09:46,532
Daphne picks the music.

255
00:09:49,591 --> 00:09:51,476
Oh, come on.
Daphne picks the music!

256
00:09:51,478 --> 00:09:54,315
Ow! Stupid racecar!

257
00:09:54,317 --> 00:09:56,486
This is why children
should not have toys!

258
00:09:56,488 --> 00:09:58,490
Look, maybe this lighthouse
thing isn't such a good idea.

259
00:09:58,492 --> 00:09:59,659
No, you don't.

260
00:10:00,161 --> 00:10:01,396
You committed,

261
00:10:01,398 --> 00:10:03,533
and so did I, so let's go.

262
00:10:04,453 --> 00:10:06,506
Oh. Ow! Oh!

263
00:10:06,508 --> 00:10:08,377
Actually, it's feeling better.

264
00:10:08,379 --> 00:10:09,879
Ow! Oh! No, it's not.

265
00:10:09,881 --> 00:10:11,883
Oh.

266
00:10:11,885 --> 00:10:13,687
Mom, I don't know
why your phone is off.

267
00:10:13,689 --> 00:10:15,891
Maybe you left your charger
in the pickup truck.

268
00:10:17,146 --> 00:10:18,947
But I need you to get here
as fast possible.

269
00:10:18,949 --> 00:10:20,034
I know
you're probably gonna want

270
00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:21,436
to take a hot bath
when you get in.

271
00:10:22,156 --> 00:10:23,373
She fits in a bathtub.

272
00:10:23,375 --> 00:10:25,294
That's good news. Unless...

273
00:10:25,296 --> 00:10:27,314
Oh, God, how big are
Canadian bathtubs?

274
00:10:27,316 --> 00:10:29,469
People ever line up

275
00:10:29,471 --> 00:10:30,721
like this for your mom's eggs?

276
00:10:30,723 --> 00:10:34,812
Loretta, even I could make
better eggs than this.

277
00:10:34,814 --> 00:10:36,566
Oh, I'd love it
if you'd come teach me

278
00:10:36,568 --> 00:10:37,768
how to make scrambled eggs.

279
00:10:37,770 --> 00:10:39,572
It's a scramble-off,
everybody!

280
00:10:39,574 --> 00:10:41,659
A scramble-off
to the death!

281
00:10:41,661 --> 00:10:43,947
Someone go watch
for the cops!

282
00:10:43,949 --> 00:10:46,035
Maybe we should have read up
on this town

283
00:10:46,037 --> 00:10:48,173
before booking our wedding.

284
00:10:48,175 --> 00:10:51,096
Let's do some,
"When you... I feel."

285
00:10:51,098 --> 00:10:52,498
All right, for example,

286
00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:55,804
when you don't
do trust falls,

287
00:10:55,806 --> 00:10:59,862
I feel like you
should do trust falls.

288
00:10:59,864 --> 00:11:02,485
So just do the
damn trust falls.

289
00:11:02,487 --> 00:11:03,520
I'm driving a car, Clint.

290
00:11:03,522 --> 00:11:04,956
Okay,

291
00:11:04,958 --> 00:11:07,828
uh, Daphne, when you say
"Drill, baby, drill"

292
00:11:07,830 --> 00:11:10,717
every time
that we pass a gas station,

293
00:11:10,719 --> 00:11:12,671
I feel invalidated.

294
00:11:12,673 --> 00:11:15,177
Marshall, when you talk,
I feel shut up!

295
00:11:15,179 --> 00:11:17,047
That's very good, both of you.

296
00:11:17,049 --> 00:11:18,900
Really? Both of us?

297
00:11:18,902 --> 00:11:21,105
Name one energy
that's better than oil.

298
00:11:21,107 --> 00:11:22,658
Wind, solar, hydroelectric.

299
00:11:22,660 --> 00:11:24,245
You see what I've been dealing
with, Clint?

300
00:11:26,535 --> 00:11:27,701
Please not now, Clint.

301
00:11:34,350 --> 00:11:36,252
Stop, stop, stop, please.
Enough! Clint,

302
00:11:36,254 --> 00:11:38,056
I'm tired of your beard
and I'm tired

303
00:11:38,058 --> 00:11:40,227
of this stupid therapy session.
And I'm tired

304
00:11:40,229 --> 00:11:43,766
of the way that your songs have
a-a laxative effect on Marvin!

305
00:11:43,768 --> 00:11:45,770
And on me. Every time
Clint starts singing,

306
00:11:45,772 --> 00:11:47,541
I just got to go.
Yeah.

307
00:11:47,543 --> 00:11:51,449
It's like, uh, the only
trust fall when you sing

308
00:11:51,451 --> 00:11:55,424
is that I "trust"
that a piece of poop

309
00:11:55,426 --> 00:11:58,980
is gonna "fall" out
of my son's butt.

310
00:12:00,486 --> 00:12:02,771
Hey, Clint, how about that?

311
00:12:02,773 --> 00:12:04,442
You got us to agree on something.
Yeah.

312
00:12:04,444 --> 00:12:07,364
We both think you're a loser.

313
00:12:07,366 --> 00:12:09,485
This therapy works.

314
00:12:09,487 --> 00:12:10,871
No!

315
00:12:10,873 --> 00:12:12,841
That is not the way
therapy works at all!

316
00:12:12,843 --> 00:12:14,828
Do you think this is
some kind of a joke?

317
00:12:14,830 --> 00:12:16,466
This is my career!

318
00:12:16,468 --> 00:12:19,388
I will not go back to
coaching the Browns!

319
00:12:19,390 --> 00:12:20,390
Why can't people take

320
00:12:20,392 --> 00:12:21,809
what I do seriously?

321
00:12:21,811 --> 00:12:24,815
God!

322
00:12:27,189 --> 00:12:29,458
Oh, my God. One more.

323
00:12:29,460 --> 00:12:32,631
Oh, my God. Okay. Oh, my God.

324
00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:38,393
God, that was a lot of stairs.
I'm exhausted.

325
00:12:38,395 --> 00:12:40,380
My chest is on fire.

326
00:12:40,382 --> 00:12:41,733
Oh.

327
00:12:41,735 --> 00:12:45,824
Ooh! So, Mr. Arch-itect,

328
00:12:45,826 --> 00:12:47,578
what do we do now?

329
00:12:47,580 --> 00:12:50,167
Fall in love or something?

330
00:12:50,169 --> 00:12:52,254
And, kids, as I stood
on that lighthouse

331
00:12:52,256 --> 00:12:55,577
and looked at that girl, I felt
something happen inside me,

332
00:12:55,579 --> 00:12:58,099
something that had only
happened one other time

333
00:12:58,101 --> 00:13:00,020
in my entire adult life.

334
00:13:02,109 --> 00:13:03,810
Okay, scrambled eggs.

335
00:13:03,812 --> 00:13:05,614
Here we go.

336
00:13:05,616 --> 00:13:07,918
Where is the egg opener?

337
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:12,110
Never mind. I'll pre-scramble
them. It's fine.

338
00:13:13,164 --> 00:13:15,784
Okay, fine, Loretta.
You know what? You win.

339
00:13:15,786 --> 00:13:16,619
I don't
know how

340
00:13:16,621 --> 00:13:18,790
to cook egg.

341
00:13:18,792 --> 00:13:20,727
If you don't even know how
to make scrambled eggs,

342
00:13:20,729 --> 00:13:22,130
I just worry what
kind of breakfast

343
00:13:22,132 --> 00:13:24,769
you're gonna be serving
my grandchildren.

344
00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:26,572
Well, lucky you

345
00:13:26,574 --> 00:13:30,030
because that is one thing you
won't ever have to worry about.

346
00:13:38,047 --> 00:13:41,269
Mom, Robin
can't have kids.

347
00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:47,701
Every single job I take on,
it's always the same!

348
00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:50,289
"The coffee maker has to stay
in the office, Clint!"

349
00:13:50,291 --> 00:13:54,297
"You still have to wear pants
on Casual Friday, Clint!"

350
00:13:54,299 --> 00:13:55,132
"We didn't

351
00:13:55,134 --> 00:13:56,384
hire you, Clint!"

352
00:13:56,386 --> 00:13:57,786
Well, God,
I'm-I'm...

353
00:13:57,788 --> 00:13:59,290
I'm just sick of it. I'm si...

354
00:13:59,292 --> 00:14:02,629
Ow. Ow. Oh, I can hear
my blood right now.

355
00:14:02,631 --> 00:14:04,767
I'm having an attack.
I'm having a blood attack.

356
00:14:04,769 --> 00:14:05,936
A blood attack?

357
00:14:05,938 --> 00:14:07,273
Yeah. Pull over. I need...
I-I need to meditate.

358
00:14:07,275 --> 00:14:10,079
I got to get my heart rate down.
I'll... Ow! Pull over.

359
00:14:10,081 --> 00:14:12,249
We're in the middle of nowhere.
Pull over!

360
00:14:12,251 --> 00:14:15,122
Zitch dog, Labradoodle
in a Ford Fusion! Ow!

361
00:14:15,124 --> 00:14:16,624
God...

362
00:14:16,626 --> 00:14:18,762
Robin can't have kids?

363
00:14:18,764 --> 00:14:20,466
But you always wanted children.

364
00:14:20,468 --> 00:14:22,403
No, I always liked children.

365
00:14:22,405 --> 00:14:26,077
I've always wanted a Lamborghini
where there's a hot tub inside.

366
00:14:26,079 --> 00:14:28,231
God, I wish that existed.

367
00:14:28,233 --> 00:14:30,119
So no grandkids.

368
00:14:30,904 --> 00:14:32,289
How long have you known
about this?

369
00:14:32,291 --> 00:14:34,327
I found out last fall.

370
00:14:34,329 --> 00:14:36,498
Robin and I had been
hanging out downtown

371
00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:39,187
at this very cool secret bar.

372
00:14:39,189 --> 00:14:42,476
What a lovely place!

373
00:14:42,478 --> 00:14:44,597
Have you ever had
sushi that fresh?

374
00:14:44,599 --> 00:14:47,319
Okay, I am never getting
on a mechanical bull again.

375
00:14:48,490 --> 00:14:51,411
I can't believe Marshall
and Lily missed out.

376
00:14:51,413 --> 00:14:53,949
Promise me,
if you ever have kids,

377
00:14:53,951 --> 00:14:55,919
you'll sometimes get
a babysitter

378
00:14:55,921 --> 00:14:57,739
and come have an epic night.

379
00:14:57,741 --> 00:15:01,381
Oh, and, P.S., bring the
babysitter, she sounds dirty.

380
00:15:01,383 --> 00:15:03,418
Actually, I, uh,
I can't have kids,

381
00:15:03,420 --> 00:15:04,971
so that's not an issue.

382
00:15:06,142 --> 00:15:07,426
Really?

383
00:15:07,428 --> 00:15:08,761
Yeah.

384
00:15:17,497 --> 00:15:20,052
Is it weird
that I'm hugging you like this?

385
00:15:20,904 --> 00:15:24,310
No, it's not weird.

386
00:15:27,884 --> 00:15:31,140
Now it's weird. Mm-hmm.
Yep, the rain makes it weird.

387
00:15:31,142 --> 00:15:34,530
Mom, I'm not marrying
some future possibility

388
00:15:34,532 --> 00:15:36,150
of starting a family.

389
00:15:37,287 --> 00:15:38,421
I'm marrying a girl.

390
00:15:39,341 --> 00:15:42,096
Who means more to me than kids.

391
00:15:42,714 --> 00:15:44,350
Or my career.

392
00:15:44,352 --> 00:15:47,223
Or even the Lambor-cuzzi,
patent pending.

393
00:15:48,192 --> 00:15:50,445
So please...

394
00:15:51,282 --> 00:15:52,566
be nice to her?

395
00:15:55,106 --> 00:15:57,610
This is ridiculous.

396
00:15:57,612 --> 00:15:59,146
Get out there
and drag Clint's

397
00:15:59,148 --> 00:16:02,253
downward-facing ass back in here
so we can get going.

398
00:16:02,255 --> 00:16:04,840
Just let him do his thing.

399
00:16:06,879 --> 00:16:08,881
Do you know why
the Daphnes of the world

400
00:16:08,883 --> 00:16:10,485
always get to pick the music

401
00:16:10,487 --> 00:16:12,773
and the Marshalls pay
all the tolls?

402
00:16:12,775 --> 00:16:13,775
Because
the Marshalls

403
00:16:13,777 --> 00:16:15,579
are so concerned

404
00:16:15,581 --> 00:16:17,666
with letting everybody
do their thing,

405
00:16:17,668 --> 00:16:20,905
and the Daphnes
are taking care of Daphne.

406
00:16:20,907 --> 00:16:24,680
You can talk to me about solar
or wind or hydro-whatever,

407
00:16:24,682 --> 00:16:27,419
but the world is always gonna
push you around, Marshall.

408
00:16:27,421 --> 00:16:30,025
Until you learn
to go nuclear.

409
00:16:35,287 --> 00:16:36,928
What are you doing?

410
00:16:39,161 --> 00:16:40,829
Is this real?

411
00:16:40,831 --> 00:16:42,216
Are you doing this?

412
00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:44,837
We need some driving music.

413
00:16:44,839 --> 00:16:45,340
No!

414
00:16:49,965 --> 00:16:53,071
You threw a live grenade
into my marriage.

415
00:16:53,806 --> 00:16:56,661
You screwed up my whole world.

416
00:16:56,663 --> 00:16:59,750
So from now on...

417
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:02,656
we listen to my music.

418
00:17:09,505 --> 00:17:11,274
I hate this song.

419
00:17:11,276 --> 00:17:12,726
Give it time.

420
00:17:14,848 --> 00:17:18,371
Zitch dog, beagle
in a Beetle.

421
00:17:18,373 --> 00:17:20,909
Don't let Loretta
get to you.

422
00:17:20,911 --> 00:17:24,216
Hey, when your mom gets here,
do you want to all go—

423
00:17:24,218 --> 00:17:27,890
I don't know—
avoid jellyfish?

424
00:17:27,892 --> 00:17:28,758
She's not coming.

425
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,312
What?

426
00:17:30,314 --> 00:17:32,015
I finally got a hold of her.

427
00:17:32,017 --> 00:17:34,052
She, um, never got on the plane.

428
00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:35,605
She was too scared.

429
00:17:36,658 --> 00:17:38,194
She won't be
at her daughter's wedding.

430
00:17:45,344 --> 00:17:47,513
If that is the case...

431
00:17:47,515 --> 00:17:50,969
can we tell Barney
she's super fat?

432
00:17:50,971 --> 00:17:53,141
It would mean the world to me.

433
00:17:54,312 --> 00:17:55,862
Of course.

434
00:17:56,865 --> 00:17:58,284
Oh, here we go.

435
00:17:58,286 --> 00:17:59,653
Listen, Robin...
Loretta,

436
00:17:59,655 --> 00:18:02,108
not now. Robin just found out

437
00:18:02,110 --> 00:18:03,778
her mom's not coming
to the wedding.

438
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:08,955
Oh.

439
00:18:08,957 --> 00:18:10,859
Well, uh, okay.

440
00:18:10,861 --> 00:18:12,079
Loretta...

441
00:18:12,081 --> 00:18:13,348
My name's Mom.

442
00:18:13,350 --> 00:18:15,468
Don't you ever call me
anything else.

443
00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:16,687
I'm Mom.

444
00:18:16,689 --> 00:18:18,975
Okay.

445
00:18:18,977 --> 00:18:20,178
Mom.

446
00:18:20,180 --> 00:18:22,416
I'm sorry.
Sometimes I get...

447
00:18:23,919 --> 00:18:25,589
carried away.

448
00:18:28,345 --> 00:18:32,219
Your eggs are great, by the way.

449
00:18:32,221 --> 00:18:33,838
Oh, mama,

450
00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:35,609
that was some bad advice.

451
00:18:35,611 --> 00:18:36,861
Thanks, Lil.

452
00:18:37,530 --> 00:18:38,347
But you know what sucks?

453
00:18:38,349 --> 00:18:39,567
When I was
at the top

454
00:18:39,569 --> 00:18:40,735
of that lighthouse,

455
00:18:40,737 --> 00:18:42,539
despite everything else...

456
00:18:42,541 --> 00:18:45,495
Wow. It's like traveling
back in time.

457
00:18:45,497 --> 00:18:47,633
Just stop talking.

458
00:18:48,970 --> 00:18:50,422
it was breathtaking.

459
00:18:50,424 --> 00:18:52,709
And I wasted it.

460
00:18:52,711 --> 00:18:54,730
I mean, how many places
have I ruined forever

461
00:18:54,732 --> 00:18:56,651
by being there
with the wrong girl?

462
00:18:56,653 --> 00:18:59,023
So come back
with the right girl.

463
00:18:59,025 --> 00:19:00,909
I don't know.

464
00:19:00,911 --> 00:19:03,197
I'm starting to think a person
gets a certain allotment

465
00:19:03,199 --> 00:19:05,902
of lighthouses per lifetime.

466
00:19:05,904 --> 00:19:08,174
And I've used all mine up.

467
00:19:08,176 --> 00:19:11,013
And that, kids, is the kind
of stupid thing you say

468
00:19:11,015 --> 00:19:13,250
before you've met the person
who hits the reset button

469
00:19:13,252 --> 00:19:15,805
on the world,
who makes everything new again,

470
00:19:15,807 --> 00:19:17,225
who makes it seem ridiculous

471
00:19:17,227 --> 00:19:19,363
that you ever considered
settling,

472
00:19:19,365 --> 00:19:21,817
because not two years later...

473
00:19:23,238 --> 00:19:25,441
Look at that.

474
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:32,172
It's like traveling
back in time.

475
00:19:32,174 --> 00:19:35,178
That is exactly what I said.

476
00:19:35,180 --> 00:19:37,799
Why couldn't it have been you
here with me two years ago?

477
00:19:37,801 --> 00:19:40,071
That's probably
for the best.

478
00:19:40,073 --> 00:19:42,025
When you vomit, I vomit.

479
00:19:42,027 --> 00:19:43,477
You know that.

480
00:19:43,479 --> 00:19:47,869
Well, thanks for being
here with me now.

481
00:19:47,871 --> 00:19:49,656
Thanks for bringing me.

482
00:19:52,930 --> 00:19:55,001
Wow.

483
00:19:55,003 --> 00:19:58,841
It is just
bonkers beautiful here.

484
00:19:58,843 --> 00:20:02,682
I don't know how you could
improve on a day like this.

485
00:20:07,493 --> 00:20:09,630
Well, I'm gonna try.

486
00:20:16,178 --> 00:20:17,763
Whoa.

487
00:20:19,651 --> 00:20:20,769
Will you...

488
00:20:20,771 --> 00:20:21,687
Yes.

489
00:20:21,689 --> 00:20:23,658
You didn't even let me...

490
00:20:23,660 --> 00:20:24,610
Yes.

491
00:20:24,612 --> 00:20:25,895
Marry me?

492
00:20:25,897 --> 00:20:27,032
Yes, yes, yes, yes.

493
00:20:27,034 --> 00:20:29,953
Yes, yes... yes.

494
00:20:56,226 --> 00:21:01,231
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

495
00:21:02,940 --> 00:21:04,309
Son of a bitch!