1
00:00:03,792 --> 00:00:05,912
I can't believe your mom's
not coming to the wedding?

2
00:00:05,914 --> 00:00:07,632
Okay, seriously,
I-I need to stop crying

3
00:00:07,634 --> 00:00:09,988
Does anyone know how
to turn this off?

4
00:00:09,990 --> 00:00:11,540
Is there, like, a button
or something?

5
00:00:11,542 --> 00:00:13,311
Want me to feel
around for it?

6
00:00:13,313 --> 00:00:14,947
It's probably
somewhere on your back.

7
00:00:14,949 --> 00:00:17,352
Stop it.
What? I'm trying to cheer you up.

8
00:00:17,354 --> 00:00:19,239
I don't think that's possible
at this point.

9
00:00:19,241 --> 00:00:20,908
Challenge accepted!

10
00:00:20,910 --> 00:00:22,245
No, Barney,

11
00:00:22,247 --> 00:00:25,551
I just need to get myself
to stop crying, that's all.

12
00:00:25,553 --> 00:00:26,754
Boogity-boo!

13
00:00:26,756 --> 00:00:28,891
Lily, what the hell?
It's not the hiccups.

14
00:00:28,893 --> 00:00:30,544
I was just going on a hunch.

15
00:00:30,546 --> 00:00:33,184
And now I have the hiccups.

16
00:00:37,312 --> 00:00:42,317
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

17
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:47,963
Look, guys, just, seriously,
don't worry about me, okay?

18
00:00:47,965 --> 00:00:49,850
Just let me deal
with this on my own.

19
00:00:49,852 --> 00:00:52,138
I'm afraid that's
not possible, Robin.

20
00:00:52,140 --> 00:00:55,561
Once I've accepted a challenge,
it cannot be unaccepted.

21
00:00:55,563 --> 00:00:59,069
I will not rest
until the job is done.

22
00:00:59,071 --> 00:01:00,371
Oh, is that so?

23
00:01:00,373 --> 00:01:03,911
Then where are our diapers
and Samosas?

24
00:01:03,913 --> 00:01:05,381
Aha!

25
00:01:05,383 --> 00:01:07,886
Diapers and Samosas.
Oh, that's about something

26
00:01:07,888 --> 00:01:11,059
that happened six months
earlier in the fall of 2012.

27
00:01:11,061 --> 00:01:13,564
Major craving for a mojito.

28
00:01:13,566 --> 00:01:14,933
Oh, God, we're back

29
00:01:14,935 --> 00:01:17,522
to your stupid little
private joke again?

30
00:01:17,524 --> 00:01:20,244
Are you guys really still doing
this seven years later?

31
00:01:20,246 --> 00:01:22,699
It's so annoying. Just stop it.

32
00:01:22,701 --> 00:01:24,035
Private joke again?

33
00:01:24,037 --> 00:01:26,206
Are you guys really still
doing this seven years later?

34
00:01:26,208 --> 00:01:27,759
It's so annoying.
Just stop it.

35
00:01:27,761 --> 00:01:29,513
You don't salute a private!

36
00:01:29,515 --> 00:01:31,500
I'll be right back.
All right.

37
00:01:31,502 --> 00:01:34,005
Lily, are you playing
footsie with me?

38
00:01:34,007 --> 00:01:35,224
What?

39
00:01:35,226 --> 00:01:37,812
Oh, no, no. I was just feeling
around for your shin.

40
00:01:37,814 --> 00:01:39,399
My shin? Why would you...?

41
00:01:39,401 --> 00:01:40,986
Ow! Why'd you do that?

42
00:01:40,988 --> 00:01:42,455
To remind you what pain is.

43
00:01:42,457 --> 00:01:45,996
You keep it up with all the
cutesy-tootsy stuff with Robin,

44
00:01:45,998 --> 00:01:49,369
gonna be a whole lot more
where that came from.

45
00:01:49,371 --> 00:01:51,089
Lily, you have nothing
to worry about.

46
00:01:51,091 --> 00:01:53,710
I better not.
You and Robin are platonic.

47
00:01:53,712 --> 00:01:56,716
Please.
Ted and Robin are not platonic.

48
00:01:56,718 --> 00:01:58,821
Just like me and Robin
are not platonic.

49
00:01:58,823 --> 00:02:02,612
Just like no two single people
in the world are ever platonic.

50
00:02:02,614 --> 00:02:05,451
two people
are only platonic if

51
00:02:05,453 --> 00:02:06,804
in the next 20 minutes

52
00:02:06,829 --> 00:02:08,979
there is no chance
of them hooking up.

53
00:02:09,094 --> 00:02:13,684
Truth is, I only know of one
genuinely platonic relationship.

54
00:02:13,686 --> 00:02:14,752
You and me.

55
00:02:14,754 --> 00:02:15,855
Don't make me laugh, Lily.

56
00:02:15,857 --> 00:02:17,358
You want to hit this
so hard.

57
00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:21,283
Seriously, she's playing
footsies with me as I... Ow!

58
00:02:21,285 --> 00:02:24,823
No, I'm talking
about Marshall and Robin.

59
00:02:24,825 --> 00:02:27,829
Marshall and Robin wouldn't
hook up even if this happened:

60
00:02:27,831 --> 00:02:29,466
Marshall, Robin!

61
00:02:29,468 --> 00:02:32,305
If you guys don't full-on
make out in the next 20 minutes,

62
00:02:32,307 --> 00:02:34,843
they're gonna blow me up
and everyone in this bar!

63
00:02:34,845 --> 00:02:36,964
My God, no!
Anyone but Robin.

64
00:02:36,966 --> 00:02:38,784
I really don't want
to do this!

65
00:02:38,786 --> 00:02:40,989
Guys, we have no time!
Just do it!

66
00:02:48,956 --> 00:02:51,843
I'm sorry, baby,
I just, I can't do it.

67
00:02:51,845 --> 00:02:52,595
Aw...

68
00:02:53,716 --> 00:02:56,186
And the only survivor
was me

69
00:02:56,188 --> 00:02:58,507
because I was upstairs
banging Ted's mom.

70
00:02:58,509 --> 00:03:01,012
What? Get that blond girl's
phone number?

71
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,398
Challenge accepted.

72
00:03:04,956 --> 00:03:08,327
Unknown caller, stop calling me.

73
00:03:08,329 --> 00:03:09,362
Are you gonna answer it?

74
00:03:09,364 --> 00:03:10,498
Yeah, 'cause it's 1994

75
00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:11,917
and I'm gonna pick up a phone

76
00:03:11,919 --> 00:03:13,420
without knowing who's on
the other end.

77
00:03:13,422 --> 00:03:15,591
I should get going.

78
00:03:15,593 --> 00:03:16,810
Ted...

79
00:03:16,812 --> 00:03:18,480
Lily, by every definition
of the word platonic,

80
00:03:18,482 --> 00:03:20,384
including Barney's fake one,
I can say

81
00:03:20,386 --> 00:03:21,820
with total certainty...

82
00:03:21,822 --> 00:03:23,107
that Brussels sprouts

83
00:03:23,109 --> 00:03:25,060
are the comeback vegetable
of the 21st century.

84
00:03:25,062 --> 00:03:26,229
Well, see you guys later.

85
00:03:26,231 --> 00:03:28,033
Bye.

86
00:03:28,035 --> 00:03:31,540
Challenge completed.

87
00:03:31,542 --> 00:03:34,295
I'm sorry. I-I missed
the first half of this.

88
00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:35,548
Um, why is picking up

89
00:03:35,550 --> 00:03:38,637
a drunk chick sitting alone
and rubbing a tan line

90
00:03:38,639 --> 00:03:41,777
on her finger where a wedding
ring used to be, a challenge?

91
00:03:41,779 --> 00:03:44,666
Because I said
challenge accepted.

92
00:03:44,668 --> 00:03:46,653
See? That's your problem,
Barney.

93
00:03:46,655 --> 00:03:49,659
You only accept challenges
you came up with.

94
00:03:49,661 --> 00:03:52,465
Just once,
I'd like to see you accept

95
00:03:52,467 --> 00:03:53,834
someone else's challenge.

96
00:03:53,836 --> 00:03:56,356
Challenge acc...
Wait— what's the challenge?

97
00:03:56,358 --> 00:04:00,231
Interesting. An opportunity rife
with possibilities.

98
00:04:00,233 --> 00:04:01,566
We need to find something

99
00:04:01,568 --> 00:04:03,320
with just the right amount
of poetic...

100
00:04:03,322 --> 00:04:06,576
Get a girl's number
while talking like a dolphin!

101
00:04:06,578 --> 00:04:08,480
That works.

102
00:04:21,307 --> 00:04:24,345
Open your eyes, ref!
That's not a pregnant lady!

103
00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:26,366
It's a basketball
under his shirt!

104
00:04:26,368 --> 00:04:28,203
Blow the freakin'
whistle!

105
00:04:29,073 --> 00:04:30,825
Anyways, Barney's right;

106
00:04:30,827 --> 00:04:32,862
I would absolutely
let the bar blow up.

107
00:04:32,864 --> 00:04:35,668
But you'd die, and
Lily would die, too.

108
00:04:35,670 --> 00:04:38,173
Yeah, but then we could
haunt the bar for eternity

109
00:04:38,175 --> 00:04:40,227
like we always planned.
Anyways, Robin's your girl.

110
00:04:40,229 --> 00:04:42,098
Why do we keep
coming back to this?

111
00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:44,319
It's fun. Tickets are cheap.
Gets us out of the house.

112
00:04:44,321 --> 00:04:45,821
No, me and Robin.

113
00:04:47,609 --> 00:04:50,748
Because Robin told me that
she's still in love with you.

114
00:04:53,929 --> 00:04:56,347
Are you serious?
Robin told you that she's

115
00:04:56,348 --> 00:04:57,681
still in love with me?

116
00:04:57,847 --> 00:04:59,216
No, I just made that up.

117
00:04:59,218 --> 00:05:01,270
But it was worth it
because I can tell

118
00:05:01,272 --> 00:05:04,259
by that look on your face
that you still have feelings for Robin.

119
00:05:04,261 --> 00:05:06,864
Okay, ball is sitting
on the basket!

120
00:05:07,186 --> 00:05:10,056
That's not only illegal,
it's unsafe!

121
00:05:10,058 --> 00:05:12,344
Come on, Gens, D up!

122
00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:15,500
It's this monastery
in Connecticut out in the woods,

123
00:05:15,502 --> 00:05:18,623
and the nuns there,
they make this gourmet cheese.

124
00:05:18,625 --> 00:05:19,959
It's just amazing.

125
00:05:21,631 --> 00:05:23,916
Wow, was that
three glasses of wine?

126
00:05:23,918 --> 00:05:25,353
Where does the time go

127
00:05:27,443 --> 00:05:29,445
Look, I know
that you need

128
00:05:29,447 --> 00:05:30,930
to get back
to your studies.

129
00:05:30,932 --> 00:05:33,536
Maybe we could get together
some other time?

130
00:05:36,260 --> 00:05:37,377
No! Not possible!

131
00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:39,164
It was the performance
of a lifetime.

132
00:05:39,166 --> 00:05:40,430
Man, if I'd have hung around
for a few more minutes,

133
00:05:40,431 --> 00:05:40,990
I probably could have

134
00:05:40,991 --> 00:05:43,160
gotten her to touch my blowhole.
Give me that.

135
00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:47,848
Hello?

136
00:05:47,850 --> 00:05:49,801
Hi, did you just give
your phone number to a guy

137
00:05:49,803 --> 00:05:50,937
who was squeaking
like a dolphin?

138
00:05:50,940 --> 00:05:53,109
Yeah.

139
00:05:53,111 --> 00:05:54,194
Honey, listen to me.

140
00:05:54,196 --> 00:05:56,449
I need you to take
a year, a full year

141
00:05:56,451 --> 00:05:57,918
and just be
celibate, okay?

142
00:05:57,920 --> 00:05:59,087
No boys.

143
00:05:59,089 --> 00:06:00,507
One year.

144
00:06:00,509 --> 00:06:02,427
I think you know
I'm right about this.

145
00:06:02,429 --> 00:06:03,880
You're right.

146
00:06:03,882 --> 00:06:05,183
Yeah.

147
00:06:05,185 --> 00:06:06,602
That was heartbreaking

148
00:06:06,604 --> 00:06:09,174
And pants-breaking
Boing-oing-oing!

149
00:06:09,176 --> 00:06:10,727
All right, next challenge.

150
00:06:10,729 --> 00:06:12,781
Oh, this is an all-night thing?

151
00:06:12,783 --> 00:06:16,990
Okay, um, pick up a girl...

152
00:06:16,992 --> 00:06:18,543
wearing a garbage bag.

153
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:22,050
I'd be "Glad" to.

154
00:06:22,868 --> 00:06:24,973
Just hope she's not too "Hefty"

155
00:06:24,975 --> 00:06:29,264
And those are all of the brands
of trash bags I can think of.

156
00:06:29,266 --> 00:06:30,350
I'm not done.

157
00:06:30,352 --> 00:06:34,741
You also can't use
the letter "E."

158
00:06:37,081 --> 00:06:41,422
Challng... accptd-d.

159
00:06:43,093 --> 00:06:44,545
You're single,
she's single,

160
00:06:44,547 --> 00:06:45,847
It's time to do this.

161
00:06:45,849 --> 00:06:47,801
You're only saying this
because you bet Lily

162
00:06:47,803 --> 00:06:49,754
that Robin and I would
end up together,

163
00:06:49,756 --> 00:06:51,258
and you want
that five bucks.

164
00:06:51,260 --> 00:06:52,861
I need that five bucks, Ted.

165
00:06:52,863 --> 00:06:55,617
But more importantly,
I need you to be happy.

166
00:06:55,619 --> 00:06:57,704
Marshall, we're platonic.

167
00:06:57,706 --> 00:06:59,124
But you're not platonic!

168
00:06:59,126 --> 00:07:01,795
You are 20 short minutes away
from happily ever after.

169
00:07:01,797 --> 00:07:04,384
I mean, if you left
right now.

170
00:07:08,460 --> 00:07:09,478
Hey.

171
00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:11,432
I have loved you from
the moment we met.

172
00:07:11,434 --> 00:07:12,800
I know we're meant
to be together.

173
00:07:12,802 --> 00:07:14,271
I don't want to waste
another second without you.

174
00:07:14,273 --> 00:07:15,356
Let's give it
another shot.

175
00:07:15,358 --> 00:07:16,976
Okay!

176
00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:18,980
No!

177
00:07:18,982 --> 00:07:21,118
Pay up, baby.
Pay up.

178
00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:22,820
Oh, yes!

179
00:07:31,474 --> 00:07:35,296
And you and Robin get a lifetime
of happiness, so there's that.

180
00:07:35,298 --> 00:07:36,448
But you better hurry up

181
00:07:36,450 --> 00:07:37,850
before some other guy
snatches her up.

182
00:07:37,852 --> 00:07:39,871
Really? And who's
my competition?

183
00:07:39,873 --> 00:07:44,881
Okay, don't use the letter "E."
Don't use the letter "E."

184
00:07:46,336 --> 00:07:47,137
Hey.

185
00:07:47,139 --> 00:07:49,174
Damn it.

186
00:07:49,176 --> 00:07:52,731
Hi. I... am...

187
00:07:52,733 --> 00:07:54,601
Barney. Damn it!

188
00:07:54,603 --> 00:07:56,005
There's an E
in my name!

189
00:07:56,007 --> 00:07:59,996
Hi. My word for...

190
00:07:59,998 --> 00:08:03,619
this guy is Barno.

191
00:08:04,338 --> 00:08:09,798
Barno. You look...

192
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,552
not ugly.

193
00:08:12,472 --> 00:08:14,808
Your... dial thing...

194
00:08:14,810 --> 00:08:15,810
is what?

195
00:08:15,812 --> 00:08:18,616
Do you want
to just go back to my place?

196
00:08:18,618 --> 00:08:20,570
Yes. Damn it!

197
00:08:21,489 --> 00:08:23,994
I want to buy you a drink.

198
00:08:23,996 --> 00:08:28,502
But first, what do I call you?

199
00:08:28,504 --> 00:08:30,139
Elaine Edelstein.

200
00:08:32,294 --> 00:08:36,018
How about I just call you...

201
00:08:36,020 --> 00:08:37,320
tomorrow?

202
00:08:37,322 --> 00:08:40,910
Your digits, m'lady?

203
00:08:41,780 --> 00:08:43,365
Seriously, guys,

204
00:08:43,367 --> 00:08:45,369
you're gonna have
to try harder than that.

205
00:08:45,371 --> 00:08:47,624
Challenge accepted.

206
00:08:48,927 --> 00:08:50,162
Excuse me, hi.

207
00:08:50,164 --> 00:08:52,600
I'm Ryan Gosling's
personal assistant.

208
00:08:52,602 --> 00:08:54,888
He saw you
as you were walking in,

209
00:08:54,890 --> 00:08:58,229
and he sent me over
to tell you to wait here.

210
00:08:58,231 --> 00:08:59,731
Be cool. This is real, okay?

211
00:08:59,733 --> 00:09:03,239
But listen, Ryan is super shy.

212
00:09:03,241 --> 00:09:05,459
Aw...
I know.

213
00:09:05,461 --> 00:09:08,365
Which means that if he comes in
here and he sees you talking

214
00:09:08,367 --> 00:09:11,338
to some other guy, he's gonna
turn right around and leave.

215
00:09:12,308 --> 00:09:13,843
Nod if you understand.

216
00:09:14,595 --> 00:09:15,763
Redhead at the bar.

217
00:09:15,765 --> 00:09:17,183
Challenge accepted.

218
00:09:18,236 --> 00:09:20,840
Hey, there.
Get away from me!

219
00:09:20,842 --> 00:09:23,228
It's like you're trying
to lose, Eddie!

220
00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:24,614
Hey, Eddie,
last time I saw

221
00:09:24,616 --> 00:09:26,618
this many turnovers
was at a bakery. - Oh!

222
00:09:27,671 --> 00:09:29,374
So are you doing this or what?
No.

223
00:09:29,376 --> 00:09:31,511
And for the record,
if I were gonna do it,

224
00:09:31,513 --> 00:09:34,601
I wouldn't just be, like,
"Hey, we should get back together".

225
00:09:34,603 --> 00:09:35,770
Amateur hour.

226
00:09:35,772 --> 00:09:37,807
Here's how you do it.

227
00:09:39,929 --> 00:09:42,617
Excuse me. Okay, sorry.

228
00:09:43,403 --> 00:09:44,989
Sorry.

229
00:09:46,042 --> 00:09:47,060
Huh.

230
00:09:50,283 --> 00:09:52,921
Stop, thief!

231
00:09:56,145 --> 00:09:58,766
The blue French horn,
it's so romantic!

232
00:09:58,768 --> 00:10:01,054
Oh, my God, do you know
who you are?

233
00:10:01,056 --> 00:10:02,907
You're Nicholas Sparks!

234
00:10:02,909 --> 00:10:05,981
Hey, everybody, we got
a, uh, celebrity

235
00:10:05,983 --> 00:10:09,004
in the crowd over here.
We got, uh, Nicholas Sparks!

236
00:10:09,006 --> 00:10:10,673
You didn't let me finish.

237
00:10:10,675 --> 00:10:12,760
Ted, listen...

238
00:10:13,949 --> 00:10:15,933
I can do without reliving that.

239
00:10:15,935 --> 00:10:18,138
Are you completely blind?

240
00:10:18,140 --> 00:10:18,940
What?

241
00:10:18,942 --> 00:10:20,693
Open your eyes, ref!

242
00:10:20,695 --> 00:10:23,365
The ball hasn't touched
the ground in seven minutes!

243
00:10:23,367 --> 00:10:24,901
Hey, ref, check
your voicemail!

244
00:10:24,903 --> 00:10:26,905
I think you've missed
a few calls!

245
00:10:28,911 --> 00:10:32,366
Are you completely blind?

246
00:10:32,368 --> 00:10:33,502
Wait— me or...?

247
00:10:33,504 --> 00:10:35,056
You, Ted!

248
00:10:35,058 --> 00:10:36,425
Robin has changed her mind.

249
00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:38,262
No, Robin doesn't change
her mind.

250
00:10:38,264 --> 00:10:39,681
Except that she does.

251
00:10:39,683 --> 00:10:42,520
Remember how she used to claim
to hate white guy funk bands?

252
00:10:42,522 --> 00:10:44,607
And yet, at the farewell
performance of my band,

253
00:10:44,609 --> 00:10:47,363
"The Funk, the Whole Funk
and Nothing but the Funk,"

254
00:10:47,365 --> 00:10:49,334
there's Robin
rhythmically nodding her head

255
00:10:49,336 --> 00:10:51,922
and shouting out a request
for "Give Up the Funk."

256
00:10:51,924 --> 00:10:55,079
I think she was nodding her head
in response to my question,

257
00:10:55,081 --> 00:10:57,416
"Do you want
to leave soon?"

258
00:10:57,418 --> 00:10:59,054
And she was
legitimately suggesting

259
00:10:59,056 --> 00:11:00,689
that you give up the funk.

260
00:11:02,194 --> 00:11:04,263
Can we just drop this?
I have moved on.

261
00:11:04,265 --> 00:11:05,816
Well, except that you haven't.

262
00:11:05,818 --> 00:11:08,322
You didn't just come up with
this blue French horn thing.

263
00:11:08,324 --> 00:11:09,657
You've thought about this.

264
00:11:09,659 --> 00:11:10,961
Mr. Sparks?

265
00:11:10,963 --> 00:11:12,497
I loved The Notebook.

266
00:11:12,499 --> 00:11:15,369
Eddie, you're down by 80.

267
00:11:15,371 --> 00:11:17,423
Will you watch the ge?

268
00:11:19,228 --> 00:11:20,513
Do not come any closer!

269
00:11:20,515 --> 00:11:21,681
I swear to God I will kill you.

270
00:11:21,683 --> 00:11:24,404
It's cool.
I'm not gonna come any closer.

271
00:11:24,406 --> 00:11:27,160
You're looking at the door,
you're waiting for someone.

272
00:11:27,162 --> 00:11:29,447
Someone important,
someone who will fill

273
00:11:29,449 --> 00:11:31,184
an empty space in your life.

274
00:11:31,186 --> 00:11:33,372
A movie star?

275
00:11:33,374 --> 00:11:34,624
Ah-huh.

276
00:11:34,626 --> 00:11:36,996
But which one?

277
00:11:36,998 --> 00:11:38,599
Clooney,

278
00:11:38,601 --> 00:11:42,023
DiCaprio, Zabka...?

279
00:11:42,025 --> 00:11:43,876
No...

280
00:11:43,878 --> 00:11:46,398
I'm gonna go with Ryan...

281
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,970
Reyn...

282
00:11:48,972 --> 00:11:50,239
Phil-Phillip...

283
00:11:50,241 --> 00:11:52,945
Seacr... Gosling...

284
00:11:52,947 --> 00:11:54,714
Ryan Gosling!

285
00:11:54,716 --> 00:11:56,301
Yes, I'm waiting
for Ryan Gosling, okay?

286
00:11:56,303 --> 00:11:58,472
Now, leave me alone.

287
00:12:03,900 --> 00:12:06,104
You passed my test, girl.

288
00:12:08,743 --> 00:12:10,947
- Ryan?
- No.

289
00:12:10,949 --> 00:12:13,285
Just... no.

290
00:12:13,287 --> 00:12:14,587
I told her I'm a method actor.

291
00:12:14,589 --> 00:12:16,241
And I had to get plastic surgery

292
00:12:16,243 --> 00:12:18,212
for an upcoming role
where I play a man

293
00:12:18,214 --> 00:12:20,082
much more handsome than myself.

294
00:12:20,084 --> 00:12:22,353
Congratulations, you win.

295
00:12:22,355 --> 00:12:23,755
Win? No, I don't want to win.

296
00:12:23,757 --> 00:12:26,144
I want to keep playing.
More challenges.

297
00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:27,396
Fine, you want
another challenge?

298
00:12:27,398 --> 00:12:29,534
More challenges,
more challenges.

299
00:12:29,536 --> 00:12:30,619
Fine, here's your challenge.

300
00:12:30,621 --> 00:12:33,275
Go down to the pharmacy
and buy some diapers.

301
00:12:33,277 --> 00:12:36,331
And, uh, get me a Samosa
from the Indian place.

302
00:12:36,333 --> 00:12:38,335
Sounds like an errand.

303
00:12:38,337 --> 00:12:40,422
While picking up a girl.

304
00:12:40,424 --> 00:12:43,011
Challenge accepted!

305
00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:44,180
Come on!

306
00:12:44,182 --> 00:12:45,199
Whatever happened to the guy

307
00:12:45,201 --> 00:12:46,234
who wasn't afraid to charge

308
00:12:46,236 --> 00:12:47,653
headlong into the unknown?

309
00:12:47,655 --> 00:12:49,324
What unknown?

310
00:12:49,326 --> 00:12:50,475
Sure, eight years ago

311
00:12:50,477 --> 00:12:52,029
when I stole
that blue French horn, yeah.

312
00:12:52,031 --> 00:12:53,481
That was the unknown.

313
00:12:53,483 --> 00:12:55,703
But now? I mean, how many times
have we been here?

314
00:12:55,705 --> 00:12:57,790
I know exactly
what's gonna happen.

315
00:12:57,792 --> 00:13:00,495
You know who else knew exactly
what was gonna happen, Ted?

316
00:13:00,497 --> 00:13:03,435
The Washington Generals
on January 5, 1971.

317
00:13:03,437 --> 00:13:05,889
They knew they were gonna lose,
but they went in there anyway,

318
00:13:05,891 --> 00:13:07,393
and then gave it
their best shot.

319
00:13:07,395 --> 00:13:09,180
And they won that game, Ted!

320
00:13:09,182 --> 00:13:11,151
For one reason
and for one reason only.

321
00:13:11,153 --> 00:13:13,688
A scoring error and the fact
that Curly Neal had the flu?

322
00:13:13,690 --> 00:13:15,709
Perseverance.

323
00:13:15,711 --> 00:13:17,797
It was the only win
in Generals history,

324
00:13:17,799 --> 00:13:19,500
but that's all you need.

325
00:13:19,502 --> 00:13:20,886
Just one win.

326
00:13:21,890 --> 00:13:25,229
I'm gonna go
grab us some beers.

327
00:13:27,235 --> 00:13:30,055
Hi, I don't know who this is
or what you're trying to sell,

328
00:13:30,057 --> 00:13:32,726
but you are disturbing me
during the Globetrotters.

329
00:13:32,728 --> 00:13:36,701
Hello, Ted,
it's Hammond Druthers.

330
00:13:39,943 --> 00:13:42,179
Target acquired.

331
00:13:50,950 --> 00:13:53,369
I'm recruiting volunteers

332
00:13:53,370 --> 00:13:55,122
for the starving puppy orphanage
where I work.

333
00:13:55,124 --> 00:13:56,457
For free.

334
00:13:56,459 --> 00:14:00,232
So, if you wouldn't mind just
writing your number down

335
00:14:00,234 --> 00:14:03,021
on this signup sheet...?

336
00:14:03,023 --> 00:14:06,578
Listen, I appreciate
that you feel

337
00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:07,981
like you need my number.

338
00:14:07,983 --> 00:14:09,150
Um.

339
00:14:09,152 --> 00:14:11,338
Maybe it's because
you're really sad

340
00:14:11,340 --> 00:14:13,041
about something
and this is your way

341
00:14:13,043 --> 00:14:14,711
of feeling better
about yourself.

342
00:14:14,713 --> 00:14:15,997
But...

343
00:14:15,999 --> 00:14:18,619
since I have a boyfriend,
and I'm pretty sure

344
00:14:18,621 --> 00:14:21,391
I heard you call me a target
earlier over there,

345
00:14:21,393 --> 00:14:22,860
Wha...?
I'm gonna go ahead

346
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,063
and not give you my number.

347
00:14:24,065 --> 00:14:26,334
I'm gonna give you
something even better.

348
00:14:26,336 --> 00:14:28,021
Wow, right to the chase.

349
00:14:28,023 --> 00:14:29,374
Meet you in aisle six.

350
00:14:29,376 --> 00:14:32,246
I'm gonna give you this.
Okay.

351
00:14:32,248 --> 00:14:34,000
It's gonna be okay.

352
00:14:35,053 --> 00:14:36,254
You're a good guy.

353
00:14:36,256 --> 00:14:38,541
You will get through this.

354
00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:43,101
Uh, okay.

355
00:14:43,103 --> 00:14:44,887
Weirdo alert.

356
00:14:48,730 --> 00:14:50,899
Have you met...?

357
00:14:52,355 --> 00:14:53,789
Excuse me.

358
00:14:57,047 --> 00:14:58,882
What do you mean "sad"?

359
00:14:58,884 --> 00:15:00,352
Ted?

360
00:15:00,354 --> 00:15:02,223
I'm calling you
from Chicago, Illinois

361
00:15:02,225 --> 00:15:03,809
where I'm a key player

362
00:15:03,811 --> 00:15:06,314
in a very successful
architectural firm.

363
00:15:06,316 --> 00:15:07,599
Oh, yeah, I read about that.

364
00:15:07,601 --> 00:15:08,935
All right,
about what you read...

365
00:15:08,937 --> 00:15:10,906
You built
that big concave glass tower.

366
00:15:10,908 --> 00:15:13,078
And it melted a few buildings
across the street.

367
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:15,165
Yes, fine, but come on.

368
00:15:15,167 --> 00:15:17,553
What architect has made
a major design flaw

369
00:15:17,555 --> 00:15:19,641
that raised the temperature
of the city aquarium

370
00:15:19,643 --> 00:15:20,676
to 190 degrees

371
00:15:20,678 --> 00:15:22,964
and killed thousands
of very rare fish?

372
00:15:22,966 --> 00:15:25,970
That's the past, Ted.
I'm looking forward.

373
00:15:25,972 --> 00:15:28,075
I want you on my team.

374
00:15:28,077 --> 00:15:30,112
And I won't take no
for an answer.

375
00:15:30,114 --> 00:15:32,984
No.
I don't think you heard me, Ted.

376
00:15:32,986 --> 00:15:35,255
No.
Come on, Ted!

377
00:15:35,257 --> 00:15:36,541
Please?

378
00:15:36,543 --> 00:15:38,879
They're gonna give me
a parking spot if you say yes.

379
00:15:38,881 --> 00:15:41,134
Do I get a parking spot?
Well, we can go tandem.

380
00:15:41,136 --> 00:15:42,669
No.
Every other week then?

381
00:15:42,671 --> 00:15:43,222
No.

382
00:15:43,247 --> 00:15:45,249
You know, Chicago's
more of a walking town.

383
00:15:45,394 --> 00:15:47,029
No.
All right!

384
00:15:47,031 --> 00:15:49,033
You can have the parking spot.

385
00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:50,119
So, that's a yes?

386
00:15:50,121 --> 00:15:52,289
Mm, no.
Look, Ted.

387
00:15:52,291 --> 00:15:55,746
I can make your life
very difficult.

388
00:15:55,748 --> 00:15:58,502
How?
How?

389
00:15:59,638 --> 00:16:02,676
I will call you a lot.

390
00:16:02,678 --> 00:16:04,731
I will Tweet at you like crazy.

391
00:16:04,733 --> 00:16:08,238
I will live
on your Facebook wall!

392
00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:09,273
We're not Facebook friends.

393
00:16:09,275 --> 00:16:10,659
Yeah, what's going on with that?

394
00:16:10,661 --> 00:16:13,415
It's been pending, like,
for eight months now.

395
00:16:13,417 --> 00:16:16,171
Look, Ted, you're a...

396
00:16:16,173 --> 00:16:18,875
a very hot commodity.

397
00:16:18,877 --> 00:16:22,550
Everybody loves the GNB Tower.

398
00:16:22,552 --> 00:16:24,470
And how it hasn't blinded
any pilots

399
00:16:24,472 --> 00:16:26,591
on final approach into O'Hare.

400
00:16:27,478 --> 00:16:29,063
And I-I may have told

401
00:16:29,065 --> 00:16:30,732
the partners here
that you and I are

402
00:16:30,734 --> 00:16:31,952
very, very good friends.

403
00:16:31,954 --> 00:16:34,540
So, please, just say
that you'll think about it.

404
00:16:34,542 --> 00:16:35,742
Fine.

405
00:16:35,744 --> 00:16:37,630
I'll think about it.

406
00:16:37,632 --> 00:16:39,917
Druthers shoots, he scores!

407
00:16:39,919 --> 00:16:43,791
Sad? Lady, I got 14 girls'
numbers in the last hour.

408
00:16:43,793 --> 00:16:45,980
And this was an off night.

409
00:16:45,982 --> 00:16:48,268
What can I possibly
be sad about?

410
00:16:48,270 --> 00:16:50,990
I think you were in love
and you messed it up.

411
00:16:52,477 --> 00:16:53,996
And every moment of your life
since then

412
00:16:53,998 --> 00:16:57,153
has been spent trying to stay
busy enough to ignore that fact.

413
00:16:57,155 --> 00:17:00,125
And that's how Barney met
your mother.

414
00:17:02,965 --> 00:17:04,968
Well, the Generals lost.

415
00:17:04,970 --> 00:17:06,387
What a nail biter—
the whole fourth quarter

416
00:17:06,389 --> 00:17:07,857
my heart was in my throat.

417
00:17:07,859 --> 00:17:09,026
What was the final?

418
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,229
216 to 12.

419
00:17:10,231 --> 00:17:11,953
Nobody talk to me right
now, I can't even...

420
00:17:14,154 --> 00:17:15,656
The strangest thing
happened at the game.

421
00:17:15,658 --> 00:17:17,626
I got a phone call
from an unknown number.

422
00:17:17,628 --> 00:17:19,413
And when I answered I...

423
00:17:20,216 --> 00:17:21,251
You're eating olives.

424
00:17:21,253 --> 00:17:22,720
Yup.

425
00:17:22,722 --> 00:17:23,722
Do you want these?

426
00:17:23,724 --> 00:17:25,208
I hate olives.

427
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:26,844
I... thought you hate olives.

428
00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:29,483
I guess I changed my mind.

429
00:17:31,690 --> 00:17:32,823
Ah!

430
00:17:32,825 --> 00:17:34,327
Hello, partner!

431
00:17:34,329 --> 00:17:37,249
Boy, that just sounds right,
doesn't it?

432
00:17:37,251 --> 00:17:39,670
Yeah, actually, Mr. Druthers.

433
00:17:39,672 --> 00:17:41,407
My answer is no.

434
00:17:41,409 --> 00:17:44,263
What? No, Ted, come on!

435
00:17:44,265 --> 00:17:48,021
I'm sorry, I still have things
to do here in New York.

436
00:17:48,023 --> 00:17:50,091
I am going to build
a tower of glass

437
00:17:50,093 --> 00:17:52,363
and melt you with it!

438
00:17:52,365 --> 00:17:55,101
No, you won't.
No, I won't, but know this.

439
00:17:55,103 --> 00:17:56,621
After today

440
00:17:56,623 --> 00:17:58,208
this offer

441
00:17:58,210 --> 00:17:59,493
is gone forever.

442
00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:02,416
When I hang up this phone,
you and I are done.

443
00:18:02,418 --> 00:18:05,288
The door is closed!
Okay.

444
00:18:05,290 --> 00:18:06,424
The door's always open, Ted.

445
00:18:06,426 --> 00:18:07,960
If you change your mind,
just call me back, okay?

446
00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:10,015
Bye.

447
00:18:10,017 --> 00:18:13,304
I think he's coming around.

448
00:18:13,306 --> 00:18:14,907
We tried dating a while back

449
00:18:14,909 --> 00:18:17,012
and it was a disaster.

450
00:18:17,014 --> 00:18:19,450
But I-I always regret giving up.

451
00:18:19,452 --> 00:18:21,704
It just ended so quickly.

452
00:18:22,792 --> 00:18:25,062
What about you?

453
00:18:25,064 --> 00:18:27,433
You and your boyfriend
gonna go the distance?

454
00:18:27,435 --> 00:18:29,002
I don't know.

455
00:18:29,004 --> 00:18:32,192
I think maybe I still
haven't met the right guy.

456
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:34,346
Hmm.

457
00:18:34,348 --> 00:18:36,818
I wonder if I know someone
to set you up with.

458
00:18:40,026 --> 00:18:42,830
Drawing a blank.

459
00:18:42,832 --> 00:18:44,533
Are you gonna
go get this girl?

460
00:18:44,535 --> 00:18:45,585
Or what?

461
00:18:45,587 --> 00:18:46,871
I don't know.

462
00:18:46,873 --> 00:18:48,842
I'm kind of
at my peak right now.

463
00:18:48,844 --> 00:18:51,714
I don't know if I can
just walk away from the game.

464
00:18:51,716 --> 00:18:55,572
Do you want to keep playing
or do you want to win?

465
00:18:57,660 --> 00:19:00,398
I want to win.

466
00:19:01,234 --> 00:19:03,404
What am I doing?

467
00:19:03,406 --> 00:19:05,542
In less than 20 minutes,
Robin and I could be...

468
00:19:05,544 --> 00:19:06,761
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

469
00:19:06,763 --> 00:19:08,298
It's gonna take a lot more
than 20 minutes.

470
00:19:08,300 --> 00:19:11,420
This is gonna take everything
you have got.

471
00:19:11,422 --> 00:19:13,976
This is gonna take all of your
time, all of your attention.

472
00:19:13,978 --> 00:19:15,595
All of your resources.

473
00:19:15,597 --> 00:19:18,451
This is the big one.

474
00:19:18,453 --> 00:19:20,940
Diaper man.

475
00:19:20,942 --> 00:19:22,609
You got to do it right.

476
00:19:22,611 --> 00:19:23,795
Can't be messing around,

477
00:19:23,797 --> 00:19:25,715
picking up girls in drug stores.

478
00:19:27,304 --> 00:19:28,505
You got work to do.

479
00:19:39,195 --> 00:19:41,497
We're not platonic.

480
00:19:41,499 --> 00:19:42,951
Platon-ish, maybe.

481
00:19:42,953 --> 00:19:44,003
If that's even a word.

482
00:19:44,005 --> 00:19:45,622
But not platonic.

483
00:19:47,928 --> 00:19:50,048
I mean, there's
something between us.

484
00:19:50,050 --> 00:19:52,971
And there always will be.

485
00:19:57,364 --> 00:19:59,450
If this was eight years ago,

486
00:19:59,452 --> 00:20:01,120
I'd be jumping
into a cab right now

487
00:20:01,122 --> 00:20:02,991
to go steal
that blue French horn.

488
00:20:02,993 --> 00:20:04,326
Well, why don't you?

489
00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:05,595
I don't know.

490
00:20:05,597 --> 00:20:08,501
Just doesn't seem to work
that way anymore.

491
00:20:08,503 --> 00:20:11,757
I used to be in such a hurry
all the time, you know?

492
00:20:11,759 --> 00:20:13,261
Everything was so urgent.

493
00:20:13,263 --> 00:20:16,517
Now, I just, I don't know,
I figure...

494
00:20:16,519 --> 00:20:18,938
it's gonna happen, it'll happen
when it happens.

495
00:20:18,941 --> 00:20:22,446
I'm not going anywhere,
she's not going anywhere.

496
00:20:22,448 --> 00:20:23,564
What's the rush, right?

497
00:20:36,258 --> 00:20:38,444
I have no idea
who that girl was.

498
00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:40,782
But she set me straight.

499
00:20:40,784 --> 00:20:44,773
After that, I had one challenge
and one challenge only.

500
00:20:44,775 --> 00:20:46,711
Get Robin Scherbatsky

501
00:20:46,713 --> 00:20:49,166
to fall in love with me.

502
00:20:50,509 --> 00:20:54,315
Challenge completed.

503
00:20:57,857 --> 00:21:02,862
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man