1 00:00:07,368 --> 00:00:08,869 You're my best friend, Barney. 2 00:00:08,869 --> 00:00:09,829 Good. Then, as your best friend, 3 00:00:09,829 --> 00:00:11,748 I suggest we play a game 4 00:00:09,829 --> 00:00:11,748 I like to call 5 00:00:11,748 --> 00:00:13,165 Have You Met Ted? 6 00:00:13,165 --> 00:00:14,417 What? Oh, my God. 7 00:00:14,417 --> 00:00:16,001 I'm so stupid. 8 00:00:16,001 --> 00:00:17,086 Stay there. I'm on my way. 9 00:00:50,369 --> 00:00:51,912 Excuse me. Pardon me. 10 00:00:56,334 --> 00:00:58,085 I am so, so sorry. 11 00:00:58,085 --> 00:00:59,920 I went to the one 12 00:00:58,085 --> 00:00:59,920 on the West Side. 13 00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:03,048 I was beginning to think 14 00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:03,048 that you'd forgotten about me. 15 00:01:15,687 --> 00:01:18,606 Kids, the night your Aunt Lily 16 00:01:15,687 --> 00:01:18,606 and Uncle Marshall got engaged, 17 00:01:18,606 --> 00:01:21,275 the night I met Aunt Robin, 18 00:01:18,606 --> 00:01:21,275 was the night of your mom's 19 00:01:21,275 --> 00:01:23,486 21st birthday. 20 00:01:21,275 --> 00:01:23,486 Happy birthday. 21 00:01:23,486 --> 00:01:25,946 W-Where's Max? 22 00:01:23,486 --> 00:01:25,946 He couldn't get a cab. 23 00:01:25,946 --> 00:01:28,157 Which is code for 24 00:01:25,946 --> 00:01:28,157 "waited until the last minute 25 00:01:28,157 --> 00:01:29,659 to get me a birthday gift." 26 00:01:29,659 --> 00:01:30,618 Although... 27 00:01:30,618 --> 00:01:31,828 he always nails it. 28 00:01:31,828 --> 00:01:33,830 Two years ago, 29 00:01:31,828 --> 00:01:33,830 he got me an exact replica 30 00:01:33,830 --> 00:01:35,498 of the Pee-wee's 31 00:01:33,830 --> 00:01:35,498 Big Adventure bike. 32 00:01:35,498 --> 00:01:38,334 And last year, he got me 33 00:01:35,498 --> 00:01:38,334 a one-man band suit 34 00:01:38,334 --> 00:01:40,294 including knee cymbals. 35 00:01:40,294 --> 00:01:42,046 And these are things you want? 36 00:01:42,046 --> 00:01:43,923 No, these are things I need. 37 00:01:43,923 --> 00:01:45,132 Oh, that's Max. 38 00:01:45,132 --> 00:01:46,425 Uh... I got to take this. 39 00:01:46,425 --> 00:01:48,553 Okay. 40 00:01:50,304 --> 00:01:52,473 Okay, you're officially 41 00:01:50,304 --> 00:01:52,473 super late now... 42 00:01:57,395 --> 00:01:59,313 Yes, this is she. 43 00:02:37,936 --> 00:02:39,854 Okay, this is ridiculous. 44 00:02:39,854 --> 00:02:42,147 You've been sitting 45 00:02:39,854 --> 00:02:42,147 around for two years. 46 00:02:42,147 --> 00:02:43,816 It's time to get 47 00:02:42,147 --> 00:02:43,816 back out there. 48 00:02:43,816 --> 00:02:46,485 I have not been sitting around. 49 00:02:43,816 --> 00:02:46,485 I have been hard at work. 50 00:02:46,485 --> 00:02:48,320 I think I'm about to enter my 51 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:51,449 "Robots Doing Track 52 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:51,449 and Field Events" period. 53 00:02:51,449 --> 00:02:52,617 It's a very exciting time. 54 00:02:53,618 --> 00:02:55,578 Sweetie. 55 00:02:55,578 --> 00:02:56,871 I love you. 56 00:02:56,871 --> 00:02:58,706 And I can't imagine 57 00:02:56,871 --> 00:02:58,706 what it was like 58 00:02:58,706 --> 00:03:00,249 going through what 59 00:02:58,706 --> 00:03:00,249 you went through. 60 00:03:00,249 --> 00:03:02,209 But these are your 20s. 61 00:03:02,209 --> 00:03:03,962 It's St. Patrick's Day. 62 00:03:03,962 --> 00:03:05,296 The holiday of my people. 63 00:03:05,296 --> 00:03:07,423 You're not Irish. 64 00:03:05,296 --> 00:03:07,423 Binge drinkers. 65 00:03:07,423 --> 00:03:08,549 Now, let's go. 66 00:03:08,549 --> 00:03:10,259 No, please don't 67 00:03:08,549 --> 00:03:10,259 make me go out there. 68 00:03:10,259 --> 00:03:11,343 It's gonna rain. 69 00:03:11,343 --> 00:03:13,345 Bring your umbrella. 70 00:03:17,224 --> 00:03:20,519 How is the bathroom line 71 00:03:17,224 --> 00:03:20,519 this long and yet the floor 72 00:03:20,519 --> 00:03:22,271 is covered with urine? 73 00:03:20,519 --> 00:03:22,271 If there's urine out here, 74 00:03:22,271 --> 00:03:24,231 what in God's name 75 00:03:22,271 --> 00:03:24,231 is going on in there? 76 00:03:24,231 --> 00:03:26,442 Screw this, we're holding it. 77 00:03:24,231 --> 00:03:26,442 Let's go dance. 78 00:03:26,442 --> 00:03:27,401 No, thanks. 79 00:03:27,401 --> 00:03:29,612 This is what 80 00:03:27,401 --> 00:03:29,612 I'm talking about. 81 00:03:29,612 --> 00:03:31,990 The love of your life 82 00:03:29,612 --> 00:03:31,990 could be on that dance floor, 83 00:03:31,990 --> 00:03:34,116 waiting for you 84 00:03:31,990 --> 00:03:34,116 to bump into him. 85 00:03:34,116 --> 00:03:36,702 If you're not there, he's just 86 00:03:34,116 --> 00:03:36,702 gonna bump into someone else. 87 00:03:36,702 --> 00:03:38,955 Somehow I doubt it. 88 00:03:38,955 --> 00:03:40,498 Oh, I'm sorry. 89 00:03:40,498 --> 00:03:41,958 No, that's okay. 90 00:03:41,958 --> 00:03:43,375 I'm going in. 91 00:03:43,375 --> 00:03:45,169 Wait, is that... 92 00:03:45,169 --> 00:03:46,420 Mitch. 93 00:03:46,420 --> 00:03:48,881 No way. 94 00:03:46,420 --> 00:03:48,881 Hi. 95 00:03:48,881 --> 00:03:50,716 What are you doing 96 00:03:48,881 --> 00:03:50,716 in New York? 97 00:03:50,716 --> 00:03:51,676 I live here. 98 00:03:50,716 --> 00:03:51,676 What? 99 00:03:51,676 --> 00:03:53,093 Uh, this is my 100 00:03:51,676 --> 00:03:53,093 friend, Kelly. 101 00:03:53,093 --> 00:03:54,219 Hey. 102 00:03:53,093 --> 00:03:54,219 Hi. 103 00:03:54,219 --> 00:03:56,138 Mitch was my instructor 104 00:03:54,219 --> 00:03:56,138 at orchestra camp. 105 00:03:56,138 --> 00:03:57,139 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 106 00:03:56,138 --> 00:03:57,139 Orchestra camp. 107 00:03:57,139 --> 00:03:58,307 It's not as lame 108 00:03:57,139 --> 00:03:58,307 as it sounds. 109 00:03:58,307 --> 00:04:00,142 We also did physics, so... 110 00:03:58,307 --> 00:04:00,142 Right. 111 00:04:00,142 --> 00:04:02,728 So, Mitch, what are you 112 00:04:00,142 --> 00:04:02,728 up to these days? 113 00:04:02,728 --> 00:04:03,855 I'm still teaching orchestra. 114 00:04:03,855 --> 00:04:05,731 I'm at this public school 115 00:04:03,855 --> 00:04:05,731 up in the Bronx. 116 00:04:05,731 --> 00:04:06,941 It's totally underfunded, 117 00:04:06,941 --> 00:04:08,359 a lot of the kids 118 00:04:06,941 --> 00:04:08,359 can't afford instruments, 119 00:04:08,359 --> 00:04:10,194 but I really... 120 00:04:08,359 --> 00:04:10,194 Take my cello. 121 00:04:10,194 --> 00:04:11,320 What? 122 00:04:10,194 --> 00:04:11,320 Yeah. 123 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:12,446 Oh, yeah, you 124 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:12,446 gotta take it. 125 00:04:12,446 --> 00:04:13,656 I haven't played 126 00:04:12,446 --> 00:04:13,656 it in years. 127 00:04:13,656 --> 00:04:14,699 It's just sitting 128 00:04:13,656 --> 00:04:14,699 in my closet. 129 00:04:14,699 --> 00:04:15,700 Give it to 130 00:04:14,699 --> 00:04:15,700 one of the kids! 131 00:04:15,700 --> 00:04:16,868 Wow, are you sure? 132 00:04:16,868 --> 00:04:18,036 Do you want to come 133 00:04:16,868 --> 00:04:18,036 and get it right now? 134 00:04:18,036 --> 00:04:19,537 Um... okay. 135 00:04:19,537 --> 00:04:22,414 Okay, great. Let's go. 136 00:04:22,414 --> 00:04:25,835 Okay, yes, you're doing 137 00:04:22,414 --> 00:04:25,835 something nice. 138 00:04:25,835 --> 00:04:27,378 But you're still 139 00:04:25,835 --> 00:04:27,378 bailing on me. 140 00:04:27,378 --> 00:04:30,589 So I guess, karmically... 141 00:04:27,378 --> 00:04:30,589 it evens out? 142 00:04:30,589 --> 00:04:32,299 I'm just worried 143 00:04:30,589 --> 00:04:32,299 about you. 144 00:04:32,299 --> 00:04:33,551 Don't be. 145 00:04:33,551 --> 00:04:34,552 Have fun. 146 00:04:34,552 --> 00:04:35,887 And who knows? 147 00:04:35,887 --> 00:04:38,222 Maybe you'll bump 148 00:04:35,887 --> 00:04:38,222 into someone tonight. 149 00:04:38,222 --> 00:04:40,058 Oh... 150 00:04:42,309 --> 00:04:45,980 Girl, I will 151 00:04:42,309 --> 00:04:45,980 sham-rock your world. 152 00:04:47,106 --> 00:04:49,775 Okay... 153 00:04:49,775 --> 00:04:52,152 I'll... 154 00:04:52,152 --> 00:04:53,320 We'll... 155 00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:55,447 Okay. 156 00:04:55,447 --> 00:04:57,533 Okay, here it is. 157 00:04:57,533 --> 00:04:59,451 I haven't played this 158 00:04:59,451 --> 00:05:01,913 since the popular girls 159 00:04:59,451 --> 00:05:01,913 locked me inside the case. 160 00:05:01,913 --> 00:05:04,832 Although it was roomier 161 00:05:01,913 --> 00:05:04,832 than when I played the violin... 162 00:05:04,832 --> 00:05:06,333 What are you doing? 163 00:05:06,333 --> 00:05:07,752 I don't know. 164 00:05:07,752 --> 00:05:08,711 What am I doing? 165 00:05:08,711 --> 00:05:10,004 I don't know! 166 00:05:08,711 --> 00:05:10,004 What are you doing? 167 00:05:10,004 --> 00:05:11,005 This is my thing... 168 00:05:11,005 --> 00:05:12,464 It most certainly 169 00:05:11,005 --> 00:05:12,464 is your thing. 170 00:05:12,464 --> 00:05:13,465 Now, please cover your thing up. 171 00:05:13,465 --> 00:05:14,759 Sorry. 172 00:05:14,759 --> 00:05:15,718 I-I meant... 173 00:05:15,718 --> 00:05:17,386 this move. 174 00:05:17,386 --> 00:05:19,221 It's my thing. 175 00:05:19,221 --> 00:05:20,472 I call it "The Naked Man." 176 00:05:20,472 --> 00:05:21,515 A few weeks ago, 177 00:05:21,515 --> 00:05:23,392 I was on a date, 178 00:05:21,515 --> 00:05:23,392 and it worked. 179 00:05:23,392 --> 00:05:25,519 And then I was on another date 180 00:05:23,392 --> 00:05:25,519 and it worked again, 181 00:05:25,519 --> 00:05:27,105 so I figured it would work 182 00:05:25,519 --> 00:05:27,105 all the time. 183 00:05:27,105 --> 00:05:28,689 Well, now you know 184 00:05:27,105 --> 00:05:28,689 it doesn't work all the time. 185 00:05:28,689 --> 00:05:30,441 Yeah. 186 00:05:30,441 --> 00:05:32,526 Although two out of three... 187 00:05:32,526 --> 00:05:34,653 Is this what it's gonna be like? 188 00:05:34,653 --> 00:05:37,281 Being single in New York? 189 00:05:37,281 --> 00:05:39,909 Even the nice guys turn out 190 00:05:37,281 --> 00:05:39,909 to be total creeps? 191 00:05:39,909 --> 00:05:43,746 I have gotten pretty creepy 192 00:05:39,909 --> 00:05:43,746 since I moved here. 193 00:05:43,746 --> 00:05:46,874 I feel so lost right now. 194 00:05:46,874 --> 00:05:48,960 I don't even know 195 00:05:46,874 --> 00:05:48,960 what I'm doing with my life. 196 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:51,796 Can I tell you 197 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:51,796 an embarrassing story? 198 00:05:51,796 --> 00:05:53,047 Is it this one? 199 00:05:53,047 --> 00:05:54,381 Taking place right now? 200 00:05:54,381 --> 00:05:56,300 I felt lost 201 00:05:56,300 --> 00:05:59,178 for a long time, too. 202 00:05:59,178 --> 00:06:02,681 I was living in 203 00:05:59,178 --> 00:06:02,681 my parents' basement. 204 00:06:02,681 --> 00:06:04,516 Playing video games, mastur... 205 00:06:04,516 --> 00:06:06,268 ing those games, 206 00:06:06,268 --> 00:06:07,394 until 207 00:06:07,394 --> 00:06:08,729 I finally woke up 208 00:06:08,729 --> 00:06:11,690 and realized I wanted 209 00:06:08,729 --> 00:06:11,690 to follow my dream 210 00:06:11,690 --> 00:06:13,192 of teaching music. 211 00:06:14,986 --> 00:06:16,988 Let me save you a few years. 212 00:06:16,988 --> 00:06:19,740 Even if it sounds 213 00:06:16,988 --> 00:06:19,740 completely crazy... 214 00:06:19,740 --> 00:06:21,993 what is it you want 215 00:06:19,740 --> 00:06:21,993 to do with your life? 216 00:06:21,993 --> 00:06:25,537 I want to end poverty. 217 00:06:25,537 --> 00:06:26,956 Great. 218 00:06:26,956 --> 00:06:29,500 Then every decision you make 219 00:06:26,956 --> 00:06:29,500 from here on out 220 00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:31,836 should be in service of that. 221 00:06:32,962 --> 00:06:33,963 Wow. 222 00:06:33,963 --> 00:06:35,714 Thanks. 223 00:06:35,714 --> 00:06:37,133 You know, 224 00:06:35,714 --> 00:06:37,133 for a minute there, 225 00:06:37,133 --> 00:06:38,509 I totally forgot 226 00:06:37,133 --> 00:06:38,509 you were naked. 227 00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:41,512 In a way... 228 00:06:41,512 --> 00:06:43,305 aren't we all naked? 229 00:06:43,305 --> 00:06:45,557 Yeah, but your balls 230 00:06:43,305 --> 00:06:45,557 are on my couch. 231 00:06:46,934 --> 00:06:49,353 Hug? 232 00:06:46,934 --> 00:06:49,353 I will take a rain check. 233 00:06:49,353 --> 00:06:50,646 It's raining now. 234 00:06:50,646 --> 00:06:52,815 Oh, my umbrella! 235 00:06:50,646 --> 00:06:52,815 Oh! Uh... 236 00:06:54,025 --> 00:06:55,109 I will be 237 00:06:54,025 --> 00:06:55,109 right back. 238 00:06:55,109 --> 00:06:56,318 Um... 239 00:06:55,109 --> 00:06:56,318 long story. 240 00:06:57,987 --> 00:06:59,738 Nothing happened, 241 00:06:57,987 --> 00:06:59,738 I swear. 242 00:06:59,738 --> 00:07:01,365 Then why are you naked? 243 00:07:02,700 --> 00:07:06,120 Oh, what the hell? 244 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:08,580 When I got to the club, 245 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:08,580 it had already closed. 246 00:07:08,580 --> 00:07:10,208 By the next day, 247 00:07:08,580 --> 00:07:10,208 some super inconsiderate 248 00:07:10,208 --> 00:07:12,043 person had taken my umbrella. 249 00:07:12,043 --> 00:07:14,795 But by that point, 250 00:07:12,043 --> 00:07:14,795 I didn't care. 251 00:07:14,795 --> 00:07:16,922 I knew that if I really wanted 252 00:07:14,795 --> 00:07:16,922 to end poverty, 253 00:07:16,922 --> 00:07:20,051 I had to get a degree 254 00:07:16,922 --> 00:07:20,051 in economics. 255 00:07:20,051 --> 00:07:21,802 So... 256 00:07:21,802 --> 00:07:23,054 to answer your question, 257 00:07:23,054 --> 00:07:24,638 that's how I got here. 258 00:07:24,638 --> 00:07:27,516 I meant, how did you get here 259 00:07:24,638 --> 00:07:27,516 from the subway station? 260 00:07:27,516 --> 00:07:30,477 Oh. 261 00:07:27,516 --> 00:07:30,477 But I'm only asking 262 00:07:27,516 --> 00:07:30,477 'cause I just moved to town. 263 00:07:30,477 --> 00:07:32,771 I don't even have 264 00:07:30,477 --> 00:07:32,771 a place to live yet. 265 00:07:32,771 --> 00:07:34,356 Yeah, you do. 266 00:07:34,356 --> 00:07:35,440 Come live with me. 267 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:36,817 My roommate just moved out. 268 00:07:36,817 --> 00:07:38,069 Are you sure? 269 00:07:38,069 --> 00:07:39,028 You just met me. 270 00:07:39,028 --> 00:07:40,529 I could be a serial killer. 271 00:07:40,529 --> 00:07:42,489 I like to believe in people. 272 00:07:42,489 --> 00:07:46,202 Plus, what are the chances 273 00:07:42,489 --> 00:07:46,202 that we're both serial killers? 274 00:07:47,161 --> 00:07:48,537 Just promise me there won't be 275 00:07:48,537 --> 00:07:49,955 any naked men 276 00:07:48,537 --> 00:07:49,955 in the living room. 277 00:07:49,955 --> 00:07:51,207 Not a problem. 278 00:07:51,207 --> 00:07:54,585 I'm on permanent hiatus 279 00:07:51,207 --> 00:07:54,585 in the love department. 280 00:07:54,585 --> 00:07:55,586 Really? 281 00:07:55,586 --> 00:07:56,837 I find that hard to believe. 282 00:07:56,837 --> 00:07:58,256 I guess I'm 283 00:07:56,837 --> 00:07:58,256 old-fashioned. 284 00:07:58,256 --> 00:08:01,425 I believe that each of us 285 00:07:58,256 --> 00:08:01,425 only gets one. 286 00:08:01,425 --> 00:08:04,178 And I got mine already. 287 00:08:04,178 --> 00:08:05,470 Well, if you ask me, 288 00:08:05,470 --> 00:08:07,598 you know what comes 289 00:08:05,470 --> 00:08:07,598 after the one? 290 00:08:07,598 --> 00:08:08,599 The next one. 291 00:08:08,599 --> 00:08:09,934 Oh, yeah. 292 00:08:09,934 --> 00:08:12,019 Well, I don't really 293 00:08:09,934 --> 00:08:12,019 see that happening 294 00:08:12,019 --> 00:08:14,438 any time soon. 295 00:08:14,438 --> 00:08:15,731 Hi. 296 00:08:15,731 --> 00:08:17,024 Is this room seven? 297 00:08:24,865 --> 00:08:26,491 And so, if you must bring food 298 00:08:24,865 --> 00:08:26,491 to this class, 299 00:08:26,491 --> 00:08:28,493 please bring enough 300 00:08:26,491 --> 00:08:28,493 for everyone. 301 00:08:28,493 --> 00:08:30,454 I don't want to see someone 302 00:08:30,454 --> 00:08:32,664 eating, say, lobster, 303 00:08:30,454 --> 00:08:32,664 in the front row 304 00:08:32,664 --> 00:08:35,000 without sharing 305 00:08:32,664 --> 00:08:35,000 with the rest of us. 306 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,460 Because that... 307 00:08:36,460 --> 00:08:39,504 would be shellfish. 308 00:08:43,759 --> 00:08:45,803 Come on, 309 00:08:43,759 --> 00:08:45,803 that was funny. 310 00:08:45,803 --> 00:08:47,805 Anyway... 311 00:08:45,803 --> 00:08:47,805 this is Architecture 101. 312 00:08:47,805 --> 00:08:49,098 Architecture 101? 313 00:08:49,098 --> 00:08:51,183 Oh, no, I'm in the wrong class! 314 00:08:49,098 --> 00:08:51,183 I have to go! 315 00:08:53,060 --> 00:08:54,812 Oh, sorry. 316 00:08:54,812 --> 00:08:55,854 Um... 317 00:08:55,854 --> 00:08:57,273 Oh, God. 318 00:08:57,273 --> 00:08:58,607 Wait, I was in the right class. 319 00:08:58,607 --> 00:09:01,193 First day as a professor, 320 00:08:58,607 --> 00:09:01,193 wrong classroom, coming through! 321 00:09:04,655 --> 00:09:06,657 You play bass? 322 00:09:06,657 --> 00:09:08,367 Seriously, 323 00:09:06,657 --> 00:09:08,367 ask my friends. 324 00:09:08,367 --> 00:09:09,368 I always say 325 00:09:09,368 --> 00:09:10,619 my ideal woman... 326 00:09:11,370 --> 00:09:12,579 does not play bass, 327 00:09:12,579 --> 00:09:14,790 because this is clearly 328 00:09:12,579 --> 00:09:14,790 your roommate's. 329 00:09:14,790 --> 00:09:15,916 She's in a band. 330 00:09:15,916 --> 00:09:17,417 Damn, that's cool. 331 00:09:17,417 --> 00:09:18,669 This is unbelievable. 332 00:09:18,669 --> 00:09:20,671 You just picked out 333 00:09:18,669 --> 00:09:20,671 the only three things in here 334 00:09:20,671 --> 00:09:21,922 that are my roommate's. 335 00:09:21,922 --> 00:09:24,008 So does your roommate's band 336 00:09:21,922 --> 00:09:24,008 ever play shows or... 337 00:09:24,008 --> 00:09:26,844 Get out. 338 00:09:24,008 --> 00:09:26,844 All right. 339 00:09:48,490 --> 00:09:50,450 Okay, this is crazy. 340 00:09:50,450 --> 00:09:52,036 Do you know where this 341 00:09:50,450 --> 00:09:52,036 umbrella came from? 342 00:09:52,036 --> 00:09:53,412 Because I could've 343 00:09:52,036 --> 00:09:53,412 sworn that I... 344 00:09:54,372 --> 00:09:55,831 What's wrong? 345 00:09:55,831 --> 00:09:56,957 Are you okay? 346 00:09:56,957 --> 00:09:58,334 We broke up. 347 00:09:58,334 --> 00:10:00,961 Oh... well, 348 00:09:58,334 --> 00:10:00,961 I never liked him, 349 00:10:00,961 --> 00:10:03,547 and I never thought 350 00:10:00,961 --> 00:10:03,547 he deserved you, and... 351 00:10:03,547 --> 00:10:05,716 I am sorry, I didn't know 352 00:10:03,547 --> 00:10:05,716 you were dating someone. 353 00:10:05,716 --> 00:10:06,591 Who was this? 354 00:10:06,591 --> 00:10:09,094 He was the architecture 355 00:10:06,591 --> 00:10:09,094 professor. 356 00:10:09,094 --> 00:10:11,805 The one who taught 357 00:10:09,094 --> 00:10:11,805 Econ 305 by accident. 358 00:10:11,805 --> 00:10:13,307 Oh. 359 00:10:13,307 --> 00:10:14,641 That guy? 360 00:10:14,641 --> 00:10:16,143 Why did you break up? 361 00:10:16,143 --> 00:10:17,728 He's got a thing for you. 362 00:10:17,728 --> 00:10:19,021 What? 363 00:10:19,021 --> 00:10:20,147 Yeah, what? 364 00:10:20,147 --> 00:10:21,481 He's... what? 365 00:10:21,481 --> 00:10:23,859 How... um, how could 366 00:10:21,481 --> 00:10:23,859 he have a thing for me? 367 00:10:23,859 --> 00:10:25,152 He's never even met me. 368 00:10:25,152 --> 00:10:26,486 He didn't have to. 369 00:10:26,486 --> 00:10:28,780 Everything he saw of yours, 370 00:10:26,486 --> 00:10:28,780 he went crazy for. 371 00:10:28,780 --> 00:10:30,949 You should've brought 372 00:10:28,780 --> 00:10:30,949 him to my room. 373 00:10:30,949 --> 00:10:32,784 Okay? He would've 374 00:10:30,949 --> 00:10:32,784 run screaming 375 00:10:32,784 --> 00:10:34,412 once he saw my 376 00:10:32,784 --> 00:10:34,412 calligraphy set, 377 00:10:34,412 --> 00:10:35,579 my coin collection, 378 00:10:35,579 --> 00:10:38,540 my chain-mail corset 379 00:10:35,579 --> 00:10:38,540 from the Renaissance Faire. 380 00:10:38,540 --> 00:10:40,500 Well, that's pretty cool. 381 00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:41,585 Come on. 382 00:10:41,585 --> 00:10:43,295 How could he not 383 00:10:41,585 --> 00:10:43,295 be in love with you? 384 00:10:43,295 --> 00:10:45,297 The way you 385 00:10:43,295 --> 00:10:45,297 fall asleep on the couch 386 00:10:45,297 --> 00:10:46,506 when you're doing the crossword. 387 00:10:46,506 --> 00:10:48,175 When did he see me 388 00:10:46,506 --> 00:10:48,175 fall asleep on... 389 00:10:48,175 --> 00:10:49,509 The way your hair smells. 390 00:10:49,509 --> 00:10:52,221 The way your eyes sparkle. 391 00:10:58,769 --> 00:11:00,145 I might have some stuff 392 00:10:58,769 --> 00:11:00,145 to figure out. 393 00:11:00,145 --> 00:11:02,773 You might. 394 00:11:00,145 --> 00:11:02,773 I'm so sorry! 395 00:11:02,773 --> 00:11:04,775 No, uh, it's okay. 396 00:11:04,775 --> 00:11:07,361 It was nice. 397 00:11:07,361 --> 00:11:09,488 I haven't been kissed 398 00:11:07,361 --> 00:11:09,488 in a really long time. 399 00:11:09,488 --> 00:11:12,450 Not long after that, 400 00:11:09,488 --> 00:11:12,450 she met a nice girl 401 00:11:12,450 --> 00:11:14,285 and they fell in love, 402 00:11:14,285 --> 00:11:17,288 so it's a happy ending... 403 00:11:14,285 --> 00:11:17,288 for Cindy anyway. 404 00:11:17,288 --> 00:11:19,831 I, however, am left 405 00:11:17,288 --> 00:11:19,831 without a roommate, 406 00:11:19,831 --> 00:11:22,042 so here we are. 407 00:11:23,377 --> 00:11:24,669 I have a confession. 408 00:11:24,669 --> 00:11:26,964 Uh, I don't need 409 00:11:24,669 --> 00:11:26,964 a place to live. 410 00:11:26,964 --> 00:11:29,300 I saw your ad for the 411 00:11:26,964 --> 00:11:29,300 roommate, and I just... 412 00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:31,051 I-I really wanted to meet you. 413 00:11:31,051 --> 00:11:35,180 I-I'm a huge fan of your 414 00:11:31,051 --> 00:11:35,180 band SuperFreakonomics. 415 00:11:35,180 --> 00:11:36,765 Oh, my gosh, really? 416 00:11:36,765 --> 00:11:38,558 Really, I come 417 00:11:36,765 --> 00:11:38,558 to all your shows, 418 00:11:38,558 --> 00:11:40,936 and I'm not just saying this... 419 00:11:38,558 --> 00:11:40,936 I think you guys are 420 00:11:40,936 --> 00:11:44,523 the best economic-themed band 421 00:11:40,936 --> 00:11:44,523 in the entire city. 422 00:11:44,523 --> 00:11:46,691 Even better 423 00:11:44,523 --> 00:11:46,691 than Radiohedge Fund? 424 00:11:46,691 --> 00:11:47,985 Oh, absolutely. 425 00:11:47,985 --> 00:11:52,030 I wish I had the guts 426 00:11:47,985 --> 00:11:52,030 to do what you do. 427 00:11:52,030 --> 00:11:55,993 I love to sing, but... 428 00:11:55,993 --> 00:11:57,744 You know what? 429 00:11:57,744 --> 00:12:01,332 Next time we do a show, you have 430 00:11:57,744 --> 00:12:01,332 got to come up onstage with us 431 00:12:01,332 --> 00:12:02,458 and sing a song. 432 00:12:02,458 --> 00:12:04,251 Oh, no, I couldn't. 433 00:12:02,458 --> 00:12:04,251 Mm-hmm. 434 00:12:04,251 --> 00:12:07,129 No, I'm, I'm, I'm too shy. 435 00:12:12,926 --> 00:12:17,139 I mean, I don't like to think 436 00:12:12,926 --> 00:12:17,139 of SuperFreakonomics as my band. 437 00:12:17,139 --> 00:12:19,099 I think of it as my canvas 438 00:12:19,099 --> 00:12:21,768 upon which I paint 439 00:12:19,099 --> 00:12:21,768 my masterpieces. 440 00:12:23,270 --> 00:12:25,897 And that right there is 441 00:12:23,270 --> 00:12:25,897 why I don't play bass. 442 00:12:29,651 --> 00:12:31,445 Can I help you 443 00:12:29,651 --> 00:12:31,445 with that? 444 00:12:31,445 --> 00:12:35,324 Uh, wow, thanks, Superman. 445 00:12:35,324 --> 00:12:37,201 No problem. 446 00:12:37,201 --> 00:12:38,160 It's either help you 447 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:39,870 or stop a train 448 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:39,870 from going off a cliff, 449 00:12:39,870 --> 00:12:41,288 and you're much cuter. 450 00:12:42,498 --> 00:12:43,457 Can I buy you a drink? 451 00:12:43,457 --> 00:12:46,001 Oh, no, sorry, I'm 16. 452 00:12:46,877 --> 00:12:49,838 Oh, wow, sorry. 453 00:12:49,838 --> 00:12:51,048 Have a good night. 454 00:12:51,048 --> 00:12:52,424 Wait, you believe that? 455 00:12:53,175 --> 00:12:54,301 I like you. 456 00:12:54,301 --> 00:12:56,803 Uh, sure, 457 00:12:54,301 --> 00:12:56,803 you can buy me a drink. 458 00:12:56,803 --> 00:12:58,389 MacLaren's. 459 00:12:58,389 --> 00:12:59,348 The last time I was here, 460 00:12:59,348 --> 00:13:01,183 I thought this place 461 00:12:59,348 --> 00:13:01,183 was called Puzzles. 462 00:13:01,183 --> 00:13:02,601 That's an odd name. 463 00:13:02,601 --> 00:13:04,436 Why would you call a bar 464 00:13:02,601 --> 00:13:04,436 Puzzles? 465 00:13:04,436 --> 00:13:07,231 Unless that's the puzzle. 466 00:13:07,231 --> 00:13:08,440 Well, um, 467 00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:10,984 thank you for the drink. 468 00:13:10,984 --> 00:13:13,737 Uh, so, do you want 469 00:13:10,984 --> 00:13:13,737 to get dinner sometime? 470 00:13:13,737 --> 00:13:15,906 Um... 471 00:13:17,115 --> 00:13:20,244 Louis, you're really nice, 472 00:13:17,115 --> 00:13:20,244 but... 473 00:13:20,244 --> 00:13:23,414 I was in love with somebody 474 00:13:20,244 --> 00:13:23,414 a long time ago, 475 00:13:23,414 --> 00:13:25,290 and he died. 476 00:13:25,290 --> 00:13:26,708 Oh, I'm sorry. 477 00:13:25,290 --> 00:13:26,708 No, I'm sorry. 478 00:13:26,708 --> 00:13:30,212 Uh, it's silly, but... 479 00:13:30,212 --> 00:13:34,299 it's like the first lottery 480 00:13:30,212 --> 00:13:34,299 ticket I ever bought was... 481 00:13:34,299 --> 00:13:38,345 kaboom, jackpot, and I'm pretty 482 00:13:34,299 --> 00:13:38,345 sure I'm not going to win again, 483 00:13:38,345 --> 00:13:39,888 not like that anyway, 484 00:13:39,888 --> 00:13:43,975 so I don't generally buy 485 00:13:39,888 --> 00:13:43,975 lottery tickets anymore. 486 00:13:43,975 --> 00:13:45,143 I understand. 487 00:13:45,143 --> 00:13:47,229 So I should... go. 488 00:13:47,229 --> 00:13:50,482 Well, if you 489 00:13:47,229 --> 00:13:50,482 change your mind... 490 00:13:51,442 --> 00:13:53,235 give me a call. 491 00:13:53,235 --> 00:13:54,653 Okay. 492 00:14:02,494 --> 00:14:04,996 Okay, now we're even! 493 00:14:04,996 --> 00:14:06,706 What? 494 00:14:04,996 --> 00:14:06,706 What? 495 00:14:06,706 --> 00:14:09,167 So we got dinner. 496 00:14:06,706 --> 00:14:09,167 And? 497 00:14:10,586 --> 00:14:12,546 He's... nice. 498 00:14:12,546 --> 00:14:15,382 Nice? He sounds amazing! 499 00:14:15,382 --> 00:14:17,301 Handsome, good dresser, 500 00:14:15,382 --> 00:14:17,301 paid for dinner. 501 00:14:17,301 --> 00:14:18,594 What more do you want? 502 00:14:18,594 --> 00:14:20,596 Do you know how rough 503 00:14:18,594 --> 00:14:20,596 it is out there? 504 00:14:20,596 --> 00:14:22,931 I once met a guy claiming 505 00:14:20,596 --> 00:14:22,931 to be a genie 506 00:14:22,931 --> 00:14:24,558 whose penis grants wishes. 507 00:14:24,558 --> 00:14:28,437 Oh, my God, 508 00:14:24,558 --> 00:14:28,437 who would even fall for that? 509 00:14:28,437 --> 00:14:30,021 The point is, 510 00:14:28,437 --> 00:14:30,021 Louis sounds great. 511 00:14:30,021 --> 00:14:32,899 And that's how your mom 512 00:14:30,021 --> 00:14:32,899 started dating Louis. 513 00:14:32,899 --> 00:14:35,611 And for a little while there, 514 00:14:32,899 --> 00:14:35,611 it was fine. 515 00:14:49,791 --> 00:14:52,461 That's funny. 516 00:14:52,461 --> 00:14:54,879 It just wasn't love. 517 00:14:54,879 --> 00:14:57,257 But then fate intervened. 518 00:14:57,257 --> 00:14:59,551 Anyway, you guys wouldn't, uh, 519 00:14:57,257 --> 00:14:59,551 happen to know of any 520 00:14:59,551 --> 00:15:02,053 good wedding bands available 521 00:14:59,551 --> 00:15:02,053 at the last minute, would you? 522 00:15:03,347 --> 00:15:07,058 Hi. One ticket 523 00:15:03,347 --> 00:15:07,058 to Farhampton, please. 524 00:15:07,058 --> 00:15:09,645 Now, Louis had a beach house 525 00:15:07,058 --> 00:15:09,645 out in Farhampton, 526 00:15:09,645 --> 00:15:11,355 so he let your mother 527 00:15:09,645 --> 00:15:11,355 stay there. 528 00:15:11,355 --> 00:15:13,231 The day before the wedding, 529 00:15:11,355 --> 00:15:13,231 as she was taking 530 00:15:13,231 --> 00:15:15,442 some cookies out of the oven, 531 00:15:13,231 --> 00:15:15,442 she got an e-mail. 532 00:15:15,442 --> 00:15:18,403 What the damn hell? 533 00:15:18,403 --> 00:15:21,156 "Bass player wanted," 534 00:15:18,403 --> 00:15:21,156 that is what the ad said. 535 00:15:21,156 --> 00:15:22,991 Can you believe that? 536 00:15:22,991 --> 00:15:27,078 After I'm the one who invited 537 00:15:22,991 --> 00:15:27,078 Darren into the band. 538 00:15:27,078 --> 00:15:28,580 What am I gonna do? 539 00:15:28,580 --> 00:15:31,958 You need to steal 540 00:15:28,580 --> 00:15:31,958 this douche monkey's van. 541 00:15:33,084 --> 00:15:35,462 Then run my husband over 542 00:15:33,084 --> 00:15:35,462 with it. 543 00:15:35,462 --> 00:15:37,464 Well, that's very tempting. 544 00:15:37,464 --> 00:15:39,841 I've never really been 545 00:15:37,464 --> 00:15:39,841 the type of person to... 546 00:15:39,841 --> 00:15:42,177 "Must be hotter 547 00:15:39,841 --> 00:15:42,177 than the girl we have now, 548 00:15:42,177 --> 00:15:44,888 who, in my opinion, 549 00:15:42,177 --> 00:15:44,888 is a six at best"? 550 00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:52,229 Aw, geez, what is this 551 00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:52,229 knucklehead doing? 552 00:15:55,524 --> 00:15:58,109 Excuse me! Hey! 553 00:15:58,109 --> 00:15:59,778 You guys need a lift? 554 00:15:59,778 --> 00:16:01,405 The best man just punched me 555 00:16:01,405 --> 00:16:02,989 in the face for no reason. 556 00:16:02,989 --> 00:16:03,948 You know what? I quit. 557 00:16:03,948 --> 00:16:05,576 You can have 558 00:16:03,948 --> 00:16:05,576 your stupid band back. 559 00:16:08,662 --> 00:16:10,497 Linus, whoever that best man is, 560 00:16:10,497 --> 00:16:14,209 I would like to buy him 561 00:16:10,497 --> 00:16:14,209 a double of your finest scotch. 562 00:16:24,261 --> 00:16:25,845 Louis! 563 00:16:31,226 --> 00:16:33,061 Will you marry me? 564 00:16:40,736 --> 00:16:44,698 Can you give me a minute? 565 00:16:40,736 --> 00:16:44,698 Um... okay. 566 00:16:44,698 --> 00:16:47,492 There's someone 567 00:16:44,698 --> 00:16:47,492 that I need to talk to. 568 00:16:48,702 --> 00:16:50,829 I'll-I'll be right back. 569 00:17:01,423 --> 00:17:05,469 Hi, Max. It's me. 570 00:17:05,469 --> 00:17:07,053 Sorry to interrupt. 571 00:17:07,053 --> 00:17:10,223 I know you're probably up there 572 00:17:07,053 --> 00:17:10,223 playing baseball with your dad. 573 00:17:10,223 --> 00:17:15,395 Um, look, I-I've got 574 00:17:10,223 --> 00:17:15,395 a situation here. 575 00:17:15,395 --> 00:17:19,983 I think that I have been 576 00:17:15,395 --> 00:17:19,983 holding myself back 577 00:17:19,983 --> 00:17:23,194 from falling in love again. 578 00:17:23,194 --> 00:17:28,074 And I think it's because 579 00:17:23,194 --> 00:17:28,074 I can't let you go. 580 00:17:28,074 --> 00:17:31,035 But you're not here anymore... 581 00:17:31,035 --> 00:17:35,833 so I have to ask this: 582 00:17:35,833 --> 00:17:40,462 Would it be okay 583 00:17:35,833 --> 00:17:40,462 if I moved on? 584 00:17:42,088 --> 00:17:45,759 I realize that you have no way 585 00:17:42,088 --> 00:17:45,759 of answering that, 586 00:17:45,759 --> 00:17:47,093 but, um... 587 00:17:47,093 --> 00:17:48,970 Oh, okay... 588 00:17:48,970 --> 00:17:52,557 I will take that as yes. 589 00:17:52,557 --> 00:17:56,645 Um, in that case, 590 00:17:52,557 --> 00:17:56,645 I should get back in there. 591 00:18:03,276 --> 00:18:07,405 I guess this is it. 592 00:18:07,405 --> 00:18:09,282 For real this time. 593 00:18:11,785 --> 00:18:13,953 Bye, Max. 594 00:18:29,219 --> 00:18:31,638 So? 595 00:18:39,730 --> 00:18:42,190 My answer is... 596 00:18:42,190 --> 00:18:43,859 no. 597 00:18:58,415 --> 00:18:59,999 You're in luck. 598 00:18:59,999 --> 00:19:02,627 Mother of the bride 599 00:18:59,999 --> 00:19:02,627 never checked in. 600 00:19:02,627 --> 00:19:03,754 How many keys 601 00:19:02,627 --> 00:19:03,754 will you be needing? 602 00:19:03,754 --> 00:19:04,755 Just one. 603 00:19:04,755 --> 00:19:06,130 Yeah. 604 00:19:04,755 --> 00:19:06,130 I just... 605 00:19:06,130 --> 00:19:08,800 I broke up with someone. 606 00:19:12,679 --> 00:19:16,558 I think room number six 607 00:19:12,679 --> 00:19:16,558 is the room for you. 608 00:19:16,558 --> 00:19:17,935 Thank you. 609 00:21:26,270 --> 00:21:28,732 Kids, I must have heard 610 00:21:26,270 --> 00:21:28,732 your mom's rendition 611 00:21:28,732 --> 00:21:31,776 of "La Vie en Rose" 612 00:21:28,732 --> 00:21:31,776 a million times over the years. 613 00:21:31,776 --> 00:21:35,113 Every night when she tucked 614 00:21:31,776 --> 00:21:35,113 you in, for instance. 615 00:21:35,113 --> 00:21:36,948 But that performance, 616 00:21:36,948 --> 00:21:39,534 that first night 617 00:21:36,948 --> 00:21:39,534 I ever heard her sing, 618 00:21:39,534 --> 00:21:42,829 that one will always be 619 00:21:39,534 --> 00:21:42,829 my favorite. 620 00:21:48,251 --> 00:21:49,627 Wow. 621 00:21:49,627 --> 00:21:53,339 Barney, I was just out there 622 00:21:49,627 --> 00:21:53,339 on the patio... 623 00:21:53,339 --> 00:21:55,759 and there's someone 624 00:21:53,339 --> 00:21:55,759 in the room next to us. 625 00:21:55,759 --> 00:21:57,218 I didn't see her, but... 626 00:21:57,218 --> 00:22:00,513 Well, she was playing 627 00:21:57,218 --> 00:22:00,513 the ukulele... 628 00:22:05,143 --> 00:22:06,394 Barney?