1 00:00:02,082 --> 00:00:02,667 Well, that party 2 00:00:02,082 --> 00:00:02,667 was a dud. 3 00:00:02,792 --> 00:00:04,418 I think I struck out 4 00:00:02,792 --> 00:00:04,418 with, like, 20 girls. 5 00:00:04,543 --> 00:00:06,378 And... 6 00:00:04,543 --> 00:00:06,378 my condom expired. 7 00:00:06,504 --> 00:00:07,588 We are losers! 8 00:00:07,713 --> 00:00:09,048 We've tried 9 00:00:07,713 --> 00:00:09,048 everything. 10 00:00:09,173 --> 00:00:10,675 We're covered 11 00:00:09,173 --> 00:00:10,675 in Drakkar, 12 00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:11,801 I've got fresh 13 00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:11,801 new white socks, 14 00:00:11,926 --> 00:00:13,678 and I thought our 15 00:00:11,926 --> 00:00:13,678 mime work in there 16 00:00:13,803 --> 00:00:15,805 was excellent! 17 00:00:15,930 --> 00:00:17,097 What? 18 00:00:22,394 --> 00:00:26,440 Um, are we in a zombie 19 00:00:22,394 --> 00:00:26,440 movie right now? 20 00:00:51,173 --> 00:00:52,466 Boys... 21 00:00:52,591 --> 00:00:55,260 today is your lucky day. 22 00:00:55,386 --> 00:00:57,847 Because today... 23 00:00:57,972 --> 00:01:00,558 I'm gonna teach you how to... 24 00:01:04,687 --> 00:01:06,188 live. 25 00:01:06,313 --> 00:01:08,315 Who's got gum? 26 00:01:21,787 --> 00:01:24,874 Kids, for a brief 27 00:01:21,787 --> 00:01:24,874 period when I was seven, 28 00:01:24,999 --> 00:01:27,251 my best friend was a balloon. 29 00:01:27,376 --> 00:01:28,753 It was the classic story: 30 00:01:28,878 --> 00:01:30,796 boy meets balloon, 31 00:01:30,922 --> 00:01:32,673 boy and balloon become friends, 32 00:01:32,798 --> 00:01:33,799 boy loses balloon 33 00:01:33,925 --> 00:01:35,760 when Mom sets out hot dogs 34 00:01:33,925 --> 00:01:35,760 in the backyard. 35 00:01:35,885 --> 00:01:39,138 No! 36 00:01:39,263 --> 00:01:41,057 Decades later, 37 00:01:39,263 --> 00:01:41,057 boy's new best friend finds out 38 00:01:41,181 --> 00:01:43,267 about the whole thing and never 39 00:01:41,181 --> 00:01:43,267 lets him live it down. 40 00:01:43,392 --> 00:01:44,643 I hate you so much. 41 00:01:44,769 --> 00:01:46,437 The whole thing 42 00:01:44,769 --> 00:01:46,437 taught me a lesson. 43 00:01:46,562 --> 00:01:47,563 If you love something, 44 00:01:47,688 --> 00:01:49,065 you can never let it go, 45 00:01:49,189 --> 00:01:50,775 not even for a second, 46 00:01:50,900 --> 00:01:51,943 or it's gone forever. 47 00:01:52,068 --> 00:01:55,279 Well, at least 48 00:01:52,068 --> 00:01:55,279 I still got my hot dogs. 49 00:01:56,572 --> 00:01:57,907 No! 50 00:01:58,032 --> 00:01:59,700 It was a lesson that took me 51 00:01:59,825 --> 00:02:01,493 nearly 30 years to unlearn. 52 00:02:01,619 --> 00:02:03,287 Where could Barney be? 53 00:02:03,412 --> 00:02:04,830 Oh, relax. He always 54 00:02:03,412 --> 00:02:04,830 finds his way home. 55 00:02:04,956 --> 00:02:07,166 St. Patrick's 56 00:02:04,956 --> 00:02:07,166 Day, 2008. 57 00:02:07,291 --> 00:02:08,876 He did not find his 58 00:02:07,291 --> 00:02:08,876 way home that night. 59 00:02:09,001 --> 00:02:11,045 That Dumpster was 60 00:02:09,001 --> 00:02:11,045 a block from his apartment. 61 00:02:11,170 --> 00:02:12,588 I call that a win. 62 00:02:12,713 --> 00:02:15,007 Also, that isn't the filthiest 63 00:02:12,713 --> 00:02:15,007 trash he's ever slept with. 64 00:02:15,133 --> 00:02:17,301 Ho! My future 65 00:02:15,133 --> 00:02:17,301 husband, folks! 66 00:02:19,428 --> 00:02:21,013 Or maybe he bailed 67 00:02:19,428 --> 00:02:21,013 on the wedding. 68 00:02:21,139 --> 00:02:21,847 Oh, come on. 69 00:02:21,973 --> 00:02:23,141 Don't even 70 00:02:21,973 --> 00:02:23,141 think like that. 71 00:02:23,265 --> 00:02:25,517 Well, he's terrified 72 00:02:23,265 --> 00:02:25,517 of commitment... 73 00:02:25,643 --> 00:02:28,353 although, ironically, 74 00:02:25,643 --> 00:02:28,353 loves being tied down... 75 00:02:28,479 --> 00:02:32,066 Look, as the run-offee 76 00:02:28,479 --> 00:02:32,066 at my own almost-wedding, 77 00:02:32,191 --> 00:02:34,193 I can tell you 78 00:02:32,191 --> 00:02:34,193 you are fine. 79 00:02:34,318 --> 00:02:36,361 Barney is no Stella. 80 00:02:34,318 --> 00:02:36,361 Mmm. 81 00:02:36,487 --> 00:02:37,613 Hey, have you talked 82 00:02:36,487 --> 00:02:37,613 to her in a while? 83 00:02:37,738 --> 00:02:39,531 Stella? 84 00:02:37,738 --> 00:02:39,531 Yeah. 85 00:02:39,657 --> 00:02:41,533 The woman who 86 00:02:39,657 --> 00:02:41,533 broke my heart 87 00:02:41,659 --> 00:02:42,868 and embarrassed me 88 00:02:41,659 --> 00:02:42,868 in front of 89 00:02:42,994 --> 00:02:44,536 all my friends 90 00:02:42,994 --> 00:02:44,536 and loved ones? 91 00:02:44,662 --> 00:02:46,205 Uh... no. 92 00:02:46,330 --> 00:02:47,623 That was a lie. 93 00:02:47,748 --> 00:02:48,749 A few days earlier, 94 00:02:48,874 --> 00:02:50,542 I had talked 95 00:02:48,874 --> 00:02:50,542 to Stella on the phone. 96 00:02:50,668 --> 00:02:52,294 Because, as you may recall, 97 00:02:52,419 --> 00:02:55,297 I'm kind of 98 00:02:52,419 --> 00:02:55,297 the wedding gift master. 99 00:02:55,422 --> 00:02:56,507 Okay, I'm gonna stop you. 100 00:02:56,632 --> 00:02:58,676 Do you not hear 101 00:02:56,632 --> 00:02:58,676 how weird this all sounds? 102 00:02:58,801 --> 00:03:01,553 What part of this is weird? 103 00:02:58,801 --> 00:03:01,553 You're going to your 104 00:02:58,801 --> 00:03:01,553 ex-girlfriend's wedding. 105 00:03:01,679 --> 00:03:03,347 It's not weird at all. 106 00:03:01,679 --> 00:03:03,347 Where you'll be the best man... 107 00:03:03,472 --> 00:03:04,348 Utterly not weird. 108 00:03:04,473 --> 00:03:06,391 And now, less than 109 00:03:04,473 --> 00:03:06,391 a week before the wedding, 110 00:03:06,517 --> 00:03:08,811 you're calling the woman 111 00:03:06,517 --> 00:03:08,811 who left you at the altar 112 00:03:08,936 --> 00:03:10,855 and moved three time zones away 113 00:03:10,980 --> 00:03:12,272 on the razor-thin chance 114 00:03:12,397 --> 00:03:13,398 that I somehow ended up 115 00:03:13,524 --> 00:03:15,275 with her grandmother's locket? 116 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:16,194 You know what's weird, Stella? 117 00:03:16,318 --> 00:03:17,444 Not seeing Star Wars 118 00:03:17,569 --> 00:03:18,487 until you're 30. 119 00:03:18,612 --> 00:03:20,114 You're trying 120 00:03:18,612 --> 00:03:20,114 to blow up the wedding. 121 00:03:20,239 --> 00:03:22,116 You called C-3PO "the Tin Man." 122 00:03:22,241 --> 00:03:23,242 He is made of tin! 123 00:03:23,367 --> 00:03:24,869 It's Tatooine scrap metal! 124 00:03:24,994 --> 00:03:27,246 This is not an argument 125 00:03:24,994 --> 00:03:27,246 you are gonna win. 126 00:03:27,371 --> 00:03:28,998 Now, do you have 127 00:03:27,371 --> 00:03:28,998 the locket or not? 128 00:03:29,123 --> 00:03:31,333 Look, I might have it somewhere 129 00:03:31,458 --> 00:03:33,127 in one of my old boxes 130 00:03:31,458 --> 00:03:33,127 in our storage locker, 131 00:03:33,252 --> 00:03:35,671 but even if I did, I cannot get 132 00:03:33,252 --> 00:03:35,671 out there this week. 133 00:03:35,796 --> 00:03:38,382 I'm totally swamped. 134 00:03:38,507 --> 00:03:40,592 One ticket to Los Angeles, 135 00:03:38,507 --> 00:03:40,592 please. 136 00:03:40,718 --> 00:03:43,095 So the reason someone 137 00:03:40,718 --> 00:03:43,095 can't come up 138 00:03:43,221 --> 00:03:44,222 to fix the air conditioning 139 00:03:44,346 --> 00:03:46,974 is that the ghost 140 00:03:44,346 --> 00:03:46,974 of Captain Dearduff, 141 00:03:47,099 --> 00:03:48,684 who haunts this room, 142 00:03:48,809 --> 00:03:50,019 likes it muggy? 143 00:03:50,144 --> 00:03:50,895 That's correct. 144 00:03:51,020 --> 00:03:52,354 Although, now that 145 00:03:51,020 --> 00:03:52,354 I say it out loud, 146 00:03:52,479 --> 00:03:54,481 it does sound 147 00:03:52,479 --> 00:03:54,481 kind of ridiculous, 148 00:03:54,606 --> 00:03:55,983 because there's 149 00:03:54,606 --> 00:03:55,983 no such thing as ghosts. 150 00:03:56,108 --> 00:03:57,442 Right? 151 00:03:59,070 --> 00:04:00,654 You have outflanked me, 152 00:03:59,070 --> 00:04:00,654 Front Desk Guy! 153 00:04:00,779 --> 00:04:03,074 Victory is yours! 154 00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:06,118 The truth is, there was 155 00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:06,118 a ghost in that room. 156 00:04:06,244 --> 00:04:07,703 You see, minutes earlier, 157 00:04:07,828 --> 00:04:09,705 Marshall had been in the middle 158 00:04:07,828 --> 00:04:09,705 of the worst fight 159 00:04:09,830 --> 00:04:10,831 of his marriage, 160 00:04:10,956 --> 00:04:13,625 when all of sudden, 161 00:04:10,956 --> 00:04:13,625 Lily stormed out. 162 00:04:14,501 --> 00:04:16,795 Damn it, Lily. 163 00:04:16,921 --> 00:04:18,297 This is so unfair. 164 00:04:18,422 --> 00:04:19,423 I know! 165 00:04:19,548 --> 00:04:21,633 Storming out in 166 00:04:19,548 --> 00:04:21,633 the middle of an argument? 167 00:04:21,759 --> 00:04:23,343 So childish! 168 00:04:23,468 --> 00:04:25,345 Thank you, 169 00:04:23,468 --> 00:04:25,345 Ghost Lily. 170 00:04:25,470 --> 00:04:27,598 I'm glad at least 171 00:04:25,470 --> 00:04:27,598 you see it that way. 172 00:04:27,723 --> 00:04:30,642 Although, let's be honest, 173 00:04:27,723 --> 00:04:30,642 I did you a favor. 174 00:04:30,768 --> 00:04:31,769 You were gonna lose. 175 00:04:31,894 --> 00:04:33,229 I... what? 176 00:04:33,353 --> 00:04:34,479 I was gonna lose? 177 00:04:34,605 --> 00:04:36,857 Uh, check your spectral 178 00:04:34,605 --> 00:04:36,857 scorecard, Ghost Lily. 179 00:04:36,982 --> 00:04:38,025 I had you on the ropes. 180 00:04:38,150 --> 00:04:39,068 That's why you ran out. 181 00:04:39,193 --> 00:04:41,779 I ran out because 182 00:04:39,193 --> 00:04:41,779 you brought up San Francisco. 183 00:04:41,904 --> 00:04:43,155 It was a valid point. 184 00:04:43,281 --> 00:04:44,907 It's ancient history. 185 00:04:45,032 --> 00:04:46,533 If you're mad at anyone, 186 00:04:46,658 --> 00:04:48,160 you're mad at 2006 Lily. 187 00:04:48,286 --> 00:04:50,079 Well, I can't very well 188 00:04:48,286 --> 00:04:50,079 have an argument with 2006... 189 00:04:50,204 --> 00:04:51,997 Is nice! 190 00:04:52,123 --> 00:04:54,125 Do people still say that? 191 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:56,668 I'm sorry, 192 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:56,668 how exactly 193 00:04:56,794 --> 00:04:58,503 are you gonna 194 00:04:56,794 --> 00:04:58,503 teach us how to live? 195 00:04:58,629 --> 00:05:00,881 The journey to awesome 196 00:05:01,006 --> 00:05:03,175 starts with a single... 197 00:05:04,384 --> 00:05:05,469 Actually, lots of singles. 198 00:05:05,594 --> 00:05:06,595 We're going to a strip club. 199 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:07,846 Strip club? 200 00:05:07,972 --> 00:05:09,765 We're in the middle 201 00:05:07,972 --> 00:05:09,765 of nowhere. 202 00:05:09,890 --> 00:05:13,227 There is always 203 00:05:09,890 --> 00:05:13,227 a strip club. 204 00:05:13,352 --> 00:05:15,646 Hey, are you a little worried 205 00:05:13,352 --> 00:05:15,646 this guy might kill us? 206 00:05:15,771 --> 00:05:18,649 We just put a down payment 207 00:05:15,771 --> 00:05:18,649 on adult bunk beds. 208 00:05:18,774 --> 00:05:20,985 Would getting killed 209 00:05:18,774 --> 00:05:20,985 really be so bad? 210 00:05:21,110 --> 00:05:22,987 Good point. 211 00:05:21,110 --> 00:05:22,987 I got a weird feeling. 212 00:05:23,112 --> 00:05:24,363 I mean, there's 213 00:05:23,112 --> 00:05:24,363 something off about... 214 00:05:24,488 --> 00:05:26,198 Whoa! 215 00:05:29,994 --> 00:05:32,663 why does this sign 216 00:05:29,994 --> 00:05:32,663 say "gentlemen's club"? 217 00:05:32,788 --> 00:05:35,374 because The Crab Shed 218 00:05:35,499 --> 00:05:37,709 is a place for gentlemen. 219 00:05:37,835 --> 00:05:39,003 A gentleman 220 00:05:39,128 --> 00:05:40,671 tips generously. 221 00:05:40,796 --> 00:05:41,797 A gentleman uses 222 00:05:41,922 --> 00:05:44,342 the complimentary 223 00:05:41,922 --> 00:05:44,342 bathroom cologne... 224 00:05:44,466 --> 00:05:45,550 but not too much. 225 00:05:45,676 --> 00:05:48,053 Oh. This is 226 00:05:45,676 --> 00:05:48,053 important. 227 00:05:48,179 --> 00:05:50,430 Your instinct may be 228 00:05:50,555 --> 00:05:53,517 to avoid the free buffet. 229 00:05:53,642 --> 00:05:56,687 Your instinct is wrong. 230 00:05:56,812 --> 00:05:59,106 Don't sleep on the meatballs, 231 00:05:56,812 --> 00:05:59,106 gentlemen. 232 00:05:59,231 --> 00:06:00,274 They are 233 00:06:00,399 --> 00:06:01,525 exquisite! 234 00:06:01,650 --> 00:06:03,944 Come on! 235 00:06:06,238 --> 00:06:08,032 You know, 236 00:06:06,238 --> 00:06:08,032 I liked Stella. 237 00:06:08,157 --> 00:06:09,491 Even though she 238 00:06:08,157 --> 00:06:09,491 broke your heart, 239 00:06:09,616 --> 00:06:11,285 I'd still put her 240 00:06:09,616 --> 00:06:11,285 in your top five. 241 00:06:11,410 --> 00:06:12,744 Which are...? 242 00:06:12,870 --> 00:06:14,413 All right, 243 00:06:12,870 --> 00:06:14,413 number five, Stella. 244 00:06:12,870 --> 00:06:14,413 Mm-hmm. 245 00:06:14,538 --> 00:06:15,747 Number four, 246 00:06:14,538 --> 00:06:15,747 Zoey. 247 00:06:15,873 --> 00:06:17,833 Number three, uh, 248 00:06:15,873 --> 00:06:17,833 the Slutty Pumpkin. 249 00:06:17,958 --> 00:06:18,917 Ah. 250 00:06:19,043 --> 00:06:20,002 Number two, 251 00:06:19,043 --> 00:06:20,002 Marshall, 252 00:06:20,127 --> 00:06:21,753 that time you guys 253 00:06:20,127 --> 00:06:21,753 pretended to be a couple 254 00:06:21,879 --> 00:06:23,172 when Barney was trying 255 00:06:21,879 --> 00:06:23,172 to sell the apartment. 256 00:06:24,423 --> 00:06:26,384 And number one, 257 00:06:24,423 --> 00:06:26,384 Victoria. 258 00:06:26,508 --> 00:06:28,386 Well, you've given 259 00:06:26,508 --> 00:06:28,386 this some thought. 260 00:06:28,510 --> 00:06:29,553 Well, we all have. 261 00:06:29,678 --> 00:06:31,596 There's kind of a running 262 00:06:29,678 --> 00:06:31,596 e-mail chain about it. 263 00:06:31,722 --> 00:06:34,141 But the pastry chef 264 00:06:31,722 --> 00:06:34,141 was the best. 265 00:06:34,266 --> 00:06:35,267 No question. 266 00:06:35,393 --> 00:06:37,311 I do miss her 267 00:06:35,393 --> 00:06:37,311 sticky buns. 268 00:06:37,436 --> 00:06:38,396 Uh, euphemism? 269 00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:41,440 Nope. 270 00:06:41,565 --> 00:06:42,607 Can I be honest? 271 00:06:42,733 --> 00:06:45,777 Um, it was kind of crazy 272 00:06:42,733 --> 00:06:45,777 how all of sudden 273 00:06:45,903 --> 00:06:49,614 it was just... over 274 00:06:45,903 --> 00:06:49,614 between you and Victoria. 275 00:06:49,740 --> 00:06:51,658 I mean... 276 00:06:51,783 --> 00:06:54,494 you guys were seven 277 00:06:51,783 --> 00:06:54,494 years in the making. 278 00:06:54,619 --> 00:06:56,997 She left her fiancé 279 00:06:54,619 --> 00:06:56,997 for you. 280 00:06:57,122 --> 00:06:58,665 What... why would 281 00:06:57,122 --> 00:06:58,665 you break up? 282 00:07:00,918 --> 00:07:02,586 What happened? 283 00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:08,717 We, um... 284 00:07:08,842 --> 00:07:11,178 we broke up because of you. 285 00:07:17,976 --> 00:07:19,311 Oh, my God, 286 00:07:17,976 --> 00:07:19,311 this is amazing! 287 00:07:19,437 --> 00:07:21,939 I ruined my pants, but 288 00:07:19,437 --> 00:07:21,939 it's totally worth it! 289 00:07:22,064 --> 00:07:23,690 Best meatballs ever! 290 00:07:23,815 --> 00:07:25,901 Mmm! 291 00:07:23,815 --> 00:07:25,901 I'm gonna ask 292 00:07:26,026 --> 00:07:26,860 a serious question 293 00:07:26,026 --> 00:07:26,860 right now. 294 00:07:26,985 --> 00:07:29,447 Can a person live 295 00:07:26,985 --> 00:07:29,447 in a strip club? 296 00:07:29,571 --> 00:07:31,323 Yes. 297 00:07:31,449 --> 00:07:32,450 For the next few years, 298 00:07:32,574 --> 00:07:34,159 your strip club 299 00:07:32,574 --> 00:07:34,159 will be like home. 300 00:07:34,285 --> 00:07:36,370 Then, one day, 301 00:07:34,285 --> 00:07:36,370 you'll date a stripper 302 00:07:36,495 --> 00:07:38,914 and almost marry her, 303 00:07:36,495 --> 00:07:38,914 and after that, 304 00:07:39,039 --> 00:07:41,208 you'll realize 305 00:07:39,039 --> 00:07:41,208 you're done with strip clubs. 306 00:07:41,333 --> 00:07:44,128 In the sense that you'll dial it 307 00:07:41,333 --> 00:07:44,128 back to, like, once a week. 308 00:07:44,253 --> 00:07:46,588 I feel like I can 309 00:07:44,253 --> 00:07:46,588 talk to women now. 310 00:07:44,253 --> 00:07:46,588 Yeah. 311 00:07:46,713 --> 00:07:48,257 You just stick 312 00:07:46,713 --> 00:07:48,257 a dollar bill in your mouth, 313 00:07:48,382 --> 00:07:49,925 and the conversation 314 00:07:48,382 --> 00:07:49,925 starts itself. 315 00:07:50,050 --> 00:07:51,843 You know, I think we're ready 316 00:07:50,050 --> 00:07:51,843 to go back to that party 317 00:07:51,969 --> 00:07:53,137 and meet some ladies. 318 00:07:53,262 --> 00:07:54,472 Yeah! 319 00:07:54,596 --> 00:07:56,307 Yeah! 320 00:07:54,596 --> 00:07:56,307 Yeah! 321 00:07:56,432 --> 00:07:59,518 You! Are! 322 00:07:56,432 --> 00:07:59,518 Not! Ready! 323 00:07:59,643 --> 00:08:01,186 Your training is complete 324 00:08:01,312 --> 00:08:05,023 when I say 325 00:08:01,312 --> 00:08:05,023 your training is complete! 326 00:08:05,149 --> 00:08:06,484 Come on, let's go. 327 00:08:08,568 --> 00:08:10,862 You-you broke up with Victoria 328 00:08:10,988 --> 00:08:11,989 because of me? 329 00:08:12,114 --> 00:08:15,367 She didn't want us 330 00:08:12,114 --> 00:08:15,367 to be friends anymore, 331 00:08:15,493 --> 00:08:16,994 so I had to let her go. 332 00:08:17,119 --> 00:08:19,330 Ted... 333 00:08:21,540 --> 00:08:24,209 I just... 334 00:08:24,335 --> 00:08:26,003 Wow, I... 335 00:08:26,128 --> 00:08:27,796 And-and you haven't 336 00:08:26,128 --> 00:08:27,796 talked to her since? 337 00:08:27,921 --> 00:08:29,507 Haven't talked to her since. 338 00:08:29,631 --> 00:08:31,509 Also a lie. 339 00:08:31,633 --> 00:08:32,801 Unbelievable. 340 00:08:32,926 --> 00:08:34,678 And I assume this is 341 00:08:32,926 --> 00:08:34,678 all in the hopes 342 00:08:34,803 --> 00:08:36,347 that Robin'll ditch 343 00:08:34,803 --> 00:08:36,347 her own wedding 344 00:08:36,472 --> 00:08:37,389 and run off with you? 345 00:08:37,515 --> 00:08:39,266 What? No. 346 00:08:39,391 --> 00:08:40,184 I would never. 347 00:08:40,309 --> 00:08:41,226 You would never 348 00:08:40,309 --> 00:08:41,226 run off with a girl 349 00:08:41,352 --> 00:08:42,353 on the day of her wedding? 350 00:08:42,478 --> 00:08:43,521 Ri... 351 00:08:43,645 --> 00:08:44,855 Okay, that's a fair point. 352 00:08:44,980 --> 00:08:45,939 I'm not done. 353 00:08:46,064 --> 00:08:47,525 ight. 354 00:08:47,649 --> 00:08:49,193 So, do you have it? 355 00:08:53,238 --> 00:08:54,698 I'm looking at it right now. 356 00:08:54,823 --> 00:08:55,949 What? 357 00:08:54,823 --> 00:08:55,949 Oh, uh... stay there. 358 00:08:56,074 --> 00:08:57,117 I'm-I'm on my way. 359 00:08:57,242 --> 00:08:58,160 I'm in Germany. 360 00:08:58,285 --> 00:08:59,537 Danke schon! 361 00:09:00,912 --> 00:09:01,455 I see. 362 00:09:01,580 --> 00:09:03,290 Look, if it means 363 00:09:01,580 --> 00:09:03,290 that much to you, 364 00:09:03,415 --> 00:09:04,958 as soon as I'm done 365 00:09:03,415 --> 00:09:04,958 here at the bakery, 366 00:09:05,083 --> 00:09:06,001 I'll overnight it. 367 00:09:06,126 --> 00:09:07,378 It'll be there in 24 hours. 368 00:09:08,504 --> 00:09:09,880 Thank you. 369 00:09:10,005 --> 00:09:11,923 So this bakery, 370 00:09:10,005 --> 00:09:11,923 what kind of, uh... 371 00:09:12,049 --> 00:09:12,883 You want me to send you 372 00:09:13,008 --> 00:09:14,009 some chocolate truffle 373 00:09:13,008 --> 00:09:14,009 streuselkuchen? 374 00:09:14,134 --> 00:09:15,886 Yes, please, 375 00:09:14,134 --> 00:09:15,886 you're the best, thank you. 376 00:09:16,011 --> 00:09:18,096 But then, 24 hours later... 377 00:09:18,222 --> 00:09:19,306 disaster. 378 00:09:19,431 --> 00:09:20,558 I'm sorry, Mr. Mosby. 379 00:09:20,682 --> 00:09:23,643 It says here your package 380 00:09:20,682 --> 00:09:23,643 was delivered earlier today. 381 00:09:23,768 --> 00:09:24,853 Your wife signed for it. 382 00:09:24,978 --> 00:09:26,104 My... what? 383 00:09:26,230 --> 00:09:27,356 I... I don't have a wife. 384 00:09:27,481 --> 00:09:29,900 So, then, who's Jeanette Mosby? 385 00:09:30,025 --> 00:09:32,403 Oh, you're kidding me. 386 00:09:34,405 --> 00:09:37,115 Oh, my gosh, 387 00:09:34,405 --> 00:09:37,115 2013 me! 388 00:09:37,241 --> 00:09:38,658 So many questions! 389 00:09:38,783 --> 00:09:41,078 How many MySpace friends 390 00:09:38,783 --> 00:09:41,078 do I have now? 391 00:09:41,203 --> 00:09:42,996 Has James Blunt 392 00:09:41,203 --> 00:09:42,996 put out 393 00:09:43,121 --> 00:09:45,207 the steady stream 394 00:09:43,121 --> 00:09:45,207 of number one hits 395 00:09:45,332 --> 00:09:46,333 we all expect from him? 396 00:09:46,458 --> 00:09:48,919 And why are we in 397 00:09:46,458 --> 00:09:48,919 this hotel room? 398 00:09:49,044 --> 00:09:50,295 We're here for Barney's wedding. 399 00:09:50,421 --> 00:09:51,922 Barney's wedding? 400 00:09:52,047 --> 00:09:53,090 Oh, God. 401 00:09:53,215 --> 00:09:54,425 What desperate ho-bag 402 00:09:54,550 --> 00:09:56,468 is handcuffing herself 403 00:09:54,550 --> 00:09:56,468 to that time bomb? 404 00:09:56,594 --> 00:09:58,929 My dad did a real 405 00:09:56,594 --> 00:09:58,929 number on me. 406 00:09:59,054 --> 00:10:01,473 Okay, uh... Ghost Lily, 407 00:09:59,054 --> 00:10:01,473 seven-years-ago Ghost Lily, 408 00:10:01,599 --> 00:10:02,474 can we get on with this 409 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:03,808 so I can win the argument 410 00:10:03,934 --> 00:10:05,394 and we can move on to my 411 00:10:03,934 --> 00:10:05,394 regularly scheduled fantasy 412 00:10:05,519 --> 00:10:06,270 of you two making out 413 00:10:05,519 --> 00:10:06,270 with each other? 414 00:10:06,395 --> 00:10:08,021 Sure. 415 00:10:06,395 --> 00:10:08,021 Just so 416 00:10:06,395 --> 00:10:08,021 you know, 417 00:10:08,146 --> 00:10:09,607 I really like it when... 418 00:10:09,731 --> 00:10:10,982 I know. 419 00:10:09,731 --> 00:10:10,982 I'm you. 420 00:10:11,108 --> 00:10:13,444 And I don't like 421 00:10:11,108 --> 00:10:13,444 that anymore. 422 00:10:13,569 --> 00:10:14,486 Okay, yes, 423 00:10:14,612 --> 00:10:15,862 seven-years-ago Lily, 424 00:10:15,987 --> 00:10:18,031 maybe I am wrong 425 00:10:15,987 --> 00:10:18,031 for still being mad at you 426 00:10:18,156 --> 00:10:21,243 about San Francisco 427 00:10:18,156 --> 00:10:21,243 and our breakup. 428 00:10:21,368 --> 00:10:23,703 But the truth is, 429 00:10:21,368 --> 00:10:23,703 when you left me, 430 00:10:23,828 --> 00:10:26,331 that was the saddest 431 00:10:23,828 --> 00:10:26,331 I've ever been in my life. 432 00:10:26,457 --> 00:10:27,374 Really? 433 00:10:27,499 --> 00:10:29,042 The saddest you've 434 00:10:27,499 --> 00:10:29,042 ever been in your life? 435 00:10:29,167 --> 00:10:30,168 Saddest I've ever been 436 00:10:29,167 --> 00:10:30,168 in my life. 437 00:10:30,294 --> 00:10:32,212 I mean, I am 438 00:10:30,294 --> 00:10:32,212 sitting right here. 439 00:10:32,337 --> 00:10:35,507 Look, Dad, yes, obviously, 440 00:10:32,337 --> 00:10:35,507 losing you was way worse, 441 00:10:35,633 --> 00:10:38,843 but I'm trying to make 442 00:10:35,633 --> 00:10:38,843 a bigger point here. 443 00:10:38,969 --> 00:10:39,970 And what point is that? 444 00:10:40,095 --> 00:10:43,307 Because she hurt you once, 445 00:10:40,095 --> 00:10:43,307 you now get to hurt her? 446 00:10:43,432 --> 00:10:45,058 It's not how it works 447 00:10:43,432 --> 00:10:45,058 in a marriage. 448 00:10:45,183 --> 00:10:46,935 Ooh... 449 00:10:47,060 --> 00:10:48,937 You're totally gonna lose. 450 00:10:50,272 --> 00:10:52,899 I can't believe 451 00:10:50,272 --> 00:10:52,899 you're open at this hour. 452 00:10:53,024 --> 00:10:54,610 I'm always open 453 00:10:53,024 --> 00:10:54,610 for my friends. 454 00:10:54,734 --> 00:10:55,527 What are we doing here? 455 00:10:55,653 --> 00:10:57,154 We should go back 456 00:10:55,653 --> 00:10:57,154 to the party. 457 00:10:57,279 --> 00:10:59,364 In relaxed-fit domestic denim? 458 00:10:59,490 --> 00:11:01,158 I'm sorry, 459 00:10:59,490 --> 00:11:01,158 is this a costume party, 460 00:11:01,283 --> 00:11:02,951 and you're going as 1994? 461 00:11:03,076 --> 00:11:05,496 Would you be a peach 462 00:11:03,076 --> 00:11:05,496 and bump this, please? 463 00:11:06,788 --> 00:11:08,123 Who cares 464 00:11:06,788 --> 00:11:08,123 about any of this? 465 00:11:08,248 --> 00:11:09,040 They're just clothes. 466 00:11:09,166 --> 00:11:11,793 Just clothes? Ted... 467 00:11:11,918 --> 00:11:14,004 sorry, force of habit... 468 00:11:14,129 --> 00:11:15,589 boys, suits are cool. 469 00:11:15,714 --> 00:11:16,881 Exhibit "A." 470 00:11:17,007 --> 00:11:18,383 I don't care 471 00:11:17,007 --> 00:11:18,383 how well-dressed I am. 472 00:11:18,509 --> 00:11:20,218 The real challenge is walking 473 00:11:18,509 --> 00:11:20,218 up to a girl 474 00:11:20,344 --> 00:11:21,345 that I've never met before 475 00:11:21,470 --> 00:11:25,015 and somehow talking to her 476 00:11:21,470 --> 00:11:25,015 with words from my mouth. 477 00:11:25,140 --> 00:11:27,100 I've looked at it 478 00:11:25,140 --> 00:11:27,100 from every possible angle. 479 00:11:27,225 --> 00:11:28,686 There's just no way to do it. 480 00:11:34,733 --> 00:11:36,026 What's your name? 481 00:11:36,151 --> 00:11:37,152 Justin. 482 00:11:37,277 --> 00:11:39,321 Have you met Justin? 483 00:11:39,446 --> 00:11:41,948 Uh, no. Hi, I'm Julie. 484 00:11:42,073 --> 00:11:43,992 So simple, so elegant. 485 00:11:44,117 --> 00:11:45,369 Hmm. 486 00:11:44,117 --> 00:11:45,369 That's it? 487 00:11:45,494 --> 00:11:47,204 You just walk up to someone 488 00:11:45,494 --> 00:11:47,204 you don't know 489 00:11:47,329 --> 00:11:48,747 and introduce them 490 00:11:47,329 --> 00:11:48,747 to your buddy? 491 00:11:48,872 --> 00:11:50,040 I don't know. 492 00:11:48,872 --> 00:11:50,040 That sounds kind of... 493 00:11:50,165 --> 00:11:51,291 Have you met Kyle? 494 00:11:51,416 --> 00:11:52,710 Hi, Kyle. 495 00:11:52,834 --> 00:11:54,753 Are you Jesus? 496 00:11:55,713 --> 00:11:57,756 I would have understood, 497 00:11:57,881 --> 00:11:59,424 you know? 498 00:11:59,550 --> 00:12:00,676 I mean, if you told me 499 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,802 that we couldn't be friends 500 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,802 anymore, 501 00:12:02,927 --> 00:12:04,179 I-I wouldn't have liked it, 502 00:12:04,304 --> 00:12:06,097 but I, God, 503 00:12:04,304 --> 00:12:06,097 I would have understood. 504 00:12:06,223 --> 00:12:07,474 I could never do that. 505 00:12:07,599 --> 00:12:08,808 Why not? 506 00:12:10,227 --> 00:12:12,854 Ted, okay, I insist 507 00:12:10,227 --> 00:12:12,854 that you tell me why not. 508 00:12:12,979 --> 00:12:13,938 No way. 509 00:12:14,064 --> 00:12:15,106 Answer the question. 510 00:12:15,232 --> 00:12:16,650 It's... it's for the bride. 511 00:12:16,775 --> 00:12:18,026 I'm not gonna answer 512 00:12:16,775 --> 00:12:18,026 the question, 513 00:12:18,151 --> 00:12:22,197 because you know the answer. 514 00:12:22,322 --> 00:12:24,032 You want to talk 515 00:12:22,322 --> 00:12:24,032 about my top five? 516 00:12:24,157 --> 00:12:25,492 There's no top five, Robin! 517 00:12:25,617 --> 00:12:28,036 There's just a top one, 518 00:12:25,617 --> 00:12:28,036 and it's you. 519 00:12:28,161 --> 00:12:31,331 And the only reason I'm saying 520 00:12:28,161 --> 00:12:31,331 any of this is 'cause 521 00:12:31,456 --> 00:12:34,167 I know that it's not gonna 522 00:12:31,456 --> 00:12:34,167 change anything. 523 00:12:34,292 --> 00:12:36,420 You and Barney are getting 524 00:12:34,292 --> 00:12:36,420 married today. 525 00:12:36,545 --> 00:12:39,297 If I have to hold the shotgun 526 00:12:36,545 --> 00:12:39,297 myself, it's happening. 527 00:12:39,423 --> 00:12:41,841 I thought you don't like guns. 528 00:12:41,966 --> 00:12:43,427 I'm the best man. 529 00:12:43,552 --> 00:12:46,054 I swore on the Bro Code. 530 00:12:46,179 --> 00:12:48,973 I don't want to go to Bro Hell. 531 00:12:49,099 --> 00:12:50,308 Bro Hell sounds bad. 532 00:12:50,434 --> 00:12:52,561 I'm sure Barney's got a 533 00:12:50,434 --> 00:12:52,561 whole thing about Bro Hell. 534 00:12:52,686 --> 00:12:59,109 But what about when we 535 00:12:52,686 --> 00:12:59,109 get back from our honeymoon? 536 00:12:59,234 --> 00:13:01,069 What about our first night 537 00:12:59,234 --> 00:13:01,069 out at the bar? 538 00:13:01,194 --> 00:13:02,070 But what then? 539 00:13:02,195 --> 00:13:04,072 I mean, is it gonna be weird? 540 00:13:04,197 --> 00:13:05,783 No. 541 00:13:05,907 --> 00:13:07,659 How can you be so sure? 542 00:13:07,785 --> 00:13:09,953 Because I'm not gonna be there. 543 00:13:10,078 --> 00:13:12,122 I'm moving to Chicago. 544 00:13:18,503 --> 00:13:20,171 You're moving 545 00:13:18,503 --> 00:13:20,171 to Chicago? 546 00:13:18,503 --> 00:13:20,171 That's right. 547 00:13:20,297 --> 00:13:21,715 I'm gonna work 548 00:13:20,297 --> 00:13:21,715 for Hammond Druthers. 549 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:23,049 The penis-building guy? 550 00:13:23,174 --> 00:13:24,551 They're not all penis buildings. 551 00:13:24,676 --> 00:13:26,720 They just designed 552 00:13:24,676 --> 00:13:26,720 this clamshell amphitheater 553 00:13:26,845 --> 00:13:27,971 for the St. Louis Symphony. 554 00:13:28,096 --> 00:13:32,016 That one, it doesn't look 555 00:13:28,096 --> 00:13:32,016 like a penis, anyway. 556 00:13:32,142 --> 00:13:35,646 I can't believe 557 00:13:32,142 --> 00:13:35,646 you're leaving New York. 558 00:13:35,771 --> 00:13:38,022 Wait, is this be... 559 00:13:35,771 --> 00:13:38,022 is this because of me? 560 00:13:38,148 --> 00:13:40,191 No, it's not because of you. 561 00:13:40,317 --> 00:13:43,111 Well, maybe at first 562 00:13:40,317 --> 00:13:43,111 it was, but... 563 00:13:55,499 --> 00:13:57,876 It's been a really long week. 564 00:13:58,001 --> 00:14:02,213 Some stuff has happened and... 565 00:14:02,339 --> 00:14:07,302 it's just made me feel like 566 00:14:02,339 --> 00:14:07,302 it's, it's time to move on. 567 00:14:07,427 --> 00:14:10,054 Yes, good things happened 568 00:14:07,427 --> 00:14:10,054 to me in New York, 569 00:14:10,180 --> 00:14:13,266 but bad things happened, too. 570 00:14:13,391 --> 00:14:17,354 Like your top five 571 00:14:13,391 --> 00:14:17,354 worst relationships? 572 00:14:17,479 --> 00:14:21,399 Okay, come on. Let me hear it. 573 00:14:21,525 --> 00:14:23,151 Number five, Blah Blah. 574 00:14:21,525 --> 00:14:23,151 Mm-hmm. 575 00:14:23,276 --> 00:14:26,154 Number four, 576 00:14:23,276 --> 00:14:26,154 boats, boats, boats. 577 00:14:26,279 --> 00:14:27,823 Number three, Karen. 578 00:14:26,279 --> 00:14:27,823 Mm. 579 00:14:27,947 --> 00:14:31,993 Number two, uh, Zoey. 580 00:14:27,947 --> 00:14:31,993 She made both lists. 581 00:14:32,118 --> 00:14:35,747 Number one, by a landslide, 582 00:14:32,118 --> 00:14:35,747 Jeanette. 583 00:14:35,873 --> 00:14:37,749 Jeanette, of course. 584 00:14:35,873 --> 00:14:37,749 By the way, 585 00:14:37,875 --> 00:14:39,125 have you talked 586 00:14:37,875 --> 00:14:39,125 to Jeanette lately? 587 00:14:39,250 --> 00:14:40,752 I haven't talked to her. 588 00:14:39,250 --> 00:14:40,752 Liar. 589 00:14:40,878 --> 00:14:43,755 So I was at your apartment 590 00:14:40,878 --> 00:14:43,755 stealing your mail, 591 00:14:43,881 --> 00:14:47,300 and apparently there's 592 00:14:43,881 --> 00:14:47,300 some chick named Victoria 593 00:14:47,425 --> 00:14:48,927 sending you jewelry 594 00:14:49,052 --> 00:14:50,094 from Germany? 595 00:14:50,220 --> 00:14:52,723 Somebody owes somebody 596 00:14:50,220 --> 00:14:52,723 an explanation. 597 00:14:52,848 --> 00:14:55,058 Jeanette, that locket 598 00:14:52,848 --> 00:14:55,058 is a wedding gift for Robin. 599 00:14:55,183 --> 00:14:57,561 Robin? Oh, God, this again? 600 00:14:57,686 --> 00:14:59,979 That I'm giving 601 00:14:57,686 --> 00:14:59,979 to her as a friend 602 00:15:00,104 --> 00:15:01,732 because I'm kind 603 00:15:00,104 --> 00:15:01,732 of the wedding gift master! 604 00:15:01,857 --> 00:15:03,400 Now bring it back 605 00:15:01,857 --> 00:15:03,400 to me right now! 606 00:15:03,525 --> 00:15:05,569 Fine. Meet me 607 00:15:03,525 --> 00:15:05,569 at the Bow Bridge 608 00:15:05,694 --> 00:15:07,278 in Central Park in one hour. 609 00:15:07,404 --> 00:15:09,865 And by the way, 610 00:15:07,404 --> 00:15:09,865 I want Kenny back. 611 00:15:09,989 --> 00:15:10,741 Who's Kenny? 612 00:15:10,866 --> 00:15:12,492 My pet tarantula. 613 00:15:13,911 --> 00:15:15,913 By the way, I love your hair. 614 00:15:16,037 --> 00:15:17,497 I love your hair! 615 00:15:17,622 --> 00:15:18,540 Imaginary women, right? 616 00:15:18,665 --> 00:15:22,627 I need everyone 617 00:15:18,665 --> 00:15:22,627 to just be quiet, please. 618 00:15:22,753 --> 00:15:27,925 Look, I know that I could 619 00:15:22,753 --> 00:15:27,925 have handled all of this better. 620 00:15:28,049 --> 00:15:31,010 But setting aside the fact 621 00:15:28,049 --> 00:15:31,010 that all of our friends are here 622 00:15:31,135 --> 00:15:32,387 and that we don't speak Italian, 623 00:15:32,512 --> 00:15:35,265 if we stay in New York, we both 624 00:15:32,512 --> 00:15:35,265 get to follow our dreams. 625 00:15:35,390 --> 00:15:36,224 Are we really gonna go someplace 626 00:15:36,349 --> 00:15:38,226 where only one of us gets 627 00:15:36,349 --> 00:15:38,226 to do that? 628 00:15:38,351 --> 00:15:40,061 Of course not. 629 00:15:38,351 --> 00:15:40,061 Well, then how can you...? 630 00:15:40,186 --> 00:15:41,521 Wait... what? 631 00:15:41,646 --> 00:15:43,356 We're not moving to Italy. 632 00:15:43,481 --> 00:15:45,817 We have a baby. 633 00:15:43,481 --> 00:15:45,817 It makes sense to stay here. 634 00:15:45,943 --> 00:15:47,026 Even I know that. 635 00:15:47,151 --> 00:15:48,695 You do? 636 00:15:48,820 --> 00:15:51,656 So... I win? 637 00:15:52,490 --> 00:15:55,076 Well, then, ho, hey, ho. 638 00:15:55,201 --> 00:15:59,205 In your ethereal face, 639 00:15:55,201 --> 00:15:59,205 Ghost Lily. 640 00:15:59,330 --> 00:16:02,584 Oh, yeah, the Convincer 641 00:15:59,330 --> 00:16:02,584 right here! 642 00:16:02,709 --> 00:16:03,961 She thought I was gonna lose. 643 00:16:04,085 --> 00:16:05,336 You are gonna lose. 644 00:16:05,462 --> 00:16:08,966 You're gonna lose this. 645 00:16:09,090 --> 00:16:10,258 If you keep lying to me, 646 00:16:10,383 --> 00:16:12,469 if you keep cutting me out 647 00:16:10,383 --> 00:16:12,469 of decisions, 648 00:16:12,594 --> 00:16:16,097 if you keep using words 649 00:16:12,594 --> 00:16:16,097 like "winning" and "losing" 650 00:16:16,222 --> 00:16:17,724 when you talk 651 00:16:16,222 --> 00:16:17,724 about our marriage. 652 00:16:17,849 --> 00:16:20,727 It's not like it'll happen 653 00:16:17,849 --> 00:16:20,727 all at once, 654 00:16:20,852 --> 00:16:23,563 but if you keep acting 655 00:16:20,852 --> 00:16:23,563 this way, 656 00:16:23,688 --> 00:16:26,858 little by little, 657 00:16:26,984 --> 00:16:28,151 you're gonna lose me. 658 00:16:28,276 --> 00:16:30,695 Is that what you want? 659 00:16:30,821 --> 00:16:32,990 No, of course not. 660 00:16:33,114 --> 00:16:36,827 You're not my enemy. 661 00:16:33,114 --> 00:16:36,827 You're my wife. 662 00:16:36,952 --> 00:16:37,828 My wife! 663 00:16:37,953 --> 00:16:39,037 Right? 664 00:16:39,162 --> 00:16:41,205 No. Sorr... sorry. 665 00:16:42,332 --> 00:16:44,876 We should 666 00:16:42,332 --> 00:16:44,876 probably head back. 667 00:16:46,003 --> 00:16:48,713 Do you want to watch 668 00:16:46,003 --> 00:16:48,713 the sun come up? 669 00:16:52,050 --> 00:16:52,968 Sure. 670 00:16:53,092 --> 00:16:55,386 Thanks for meeting me here. 671 00:16:55,512 --> 00:16:58,181 I'm heading over to the East 672 00:16:55,512 --> 00:16:58,181 Side to stuff a dead squirrel 673 00:16:58,306 --> 00:16:59,975 into a different 674 00:16:58,306 --> 00:16:59,975 ex-boyfriend's mailbox, 675 00:17:00,099 --> 00:17:01,893 so, you know, this made sense. 676 00:17:02,019 --> 00:17:03,311 Of course. 677 00:17:03,436 --> 00:17:05,229 So, can I have the locket? 678 00:17:05,355 --> 00:17:07,106 No. 679 00:17:07,231 --> 00:17:08,566 What? Jeanette... 680 00:17:08,692 --> 00:17:11,028 Ted, listen to me. 681 00:17:08,692 --> 00:17:11,028 You're being crazy. 682 00:17:11,152 --> 00:17:12,236 I'm being crazy? 683 00:17:12,362 --> 00:17:15,615 Yes! How long have you been 684 00:17:12,362 --> 00:17:15,615 hung up on Robin? 685 00:17:15,740 --> 00:17:17,241 Eight years? 686 00:17:17,367 --> 00:17:18,535 And you're still 687 00:17:17,367 --> 00:17:18,535 killing yourself 688 00:17:18,660 --> 00:17:21,120 to fetch dumb little trinkets 689 00:17:18,660 --> 00:17:21,120 for her. That's crazy! 690 00:17:21,245 --> 00:17:22,539 That's more than crazy. 691 00:17:22,664 --> 00:17:24,499 I don't think there's a word 692 00:17:22,664 --> 00:17:24,499 for what that is! 693 00:17:24,624 --> 00:17:28,169 Actually, there is a word 694 00:17:24,624 --> 00:17:28,169 for that. It's "love." 695 00:17:28,294 --> 00:17:30,213 I'm in love with her, okay? 696 00:17:30,338 --> 00:17:32,716 If you're looking for the word 697 00:17:30,338 --> 00:17:32,716 that means caring about someone 698 00:17:32,841 --> 00:17:35,052 beyond all rationality 699 00:17:32,841 --> 00:17:35,052 and wanting them to have 700 00:17:35,176 --> 00:17:36,720 everything they want, 701 00:17:35,176 --> 00:17:36,720 no matter how much 702 00:17:36,845 --> 00:17:39,222 it destroys you, it's love! 703 00:17:39,347 --> 00:17:41,599 And when you love someone, 704 00:17:39,347 --> 00:17:41,599 you just, you... 705 00:17:41,725 --> 00:17:43,101 you don't stop, ever. 706 00:17:43,226 --> 00:17:45,770 Even when people roll their 707 00:17:43,226 --> 00:17:45,770 eyes or call you crazy. 708 00:17:45,896 --> 00:17:47,939 Even then. Especially then! 709 00:17:48,065 --> 00:17:50,400 You just... you don't give up! 710 00:17:48,065 --> 00:17:50,400 Because if I could give up... 711 00:17:50,525 --> 00:17:53,570 if I could just, you know, 712 00:17:50,525 --> 00:17:53,570 take the whole world's advice 713 00:17:53,695 --> 00:17:56,907 and-and move on and find someone 714 00:17:53,695 --> 00:17:56,907 else, that wouldn't be love. 715 00:17:57,032 --> 00:17:58,449 That would be... 716 00:17:58,575 --> 00:18:00,660 that would be some other 717 00:17:58,575 --> 00:18:00,660 disposable thing 718 00:18:00,785 --> 00:18:03,663 that is not worth fighting for. 719 00:18:04,915 --> 00:18:09,168 But I... 720 00:18:04,915 --> 00:18:09,168 that is not what this is. 721 00:18:09,293 --> 00:18:13,548 So, please, can I have 722 00:18:09,293 --> 00:18:13,548 the locket? 723 00:18:18,136 --> 00:18:19,512 Cuckoo. 724 00:18:28,271 --> 00:18:31,274 I think we should 725 00:18:28,271 --> 00:18:31,274 get back together. 726 00:18:36,195 --> 00:18:39,032 And... new day. 727 00:18:39,157 --> 00:18:42,660 Yep, new day. 728 00:18:46,123 --> 00:18:49,584 Okay, you need to get 729 00:18:46,123 --> 00:18:49,584 at least a little sleep. 730 00:18:51,753 --> 00:18:52,837 Come on. 731 00:18:58,051 --> 00:19:00,011 A few final thoughts. 732 00:19:00,137 --> 00:19:02,430 Don't get married 733 00:19:00,137 --> 00:19:02,430 until you're 30. 734 00:19:02,555 --> 00:19:04,724 Play laser tag once a week. 735 00:19:04,849 --> 00:19:08,895 Give at least as many high fives 736 00:19:04,849 --> 00:19:08,895 as you get. 737 00:19:09,020 --> 00:19:10,939 Teacup pigs are lady magnets 738 00:19:11,064 --> 00:19:14,151 but very hard to care for. 739 00:19:11,064 --> 00:19:14,151 Not worth the effort. 740 00:19:14,275 --> 00:19:19,864 The same goes for dogs 741 00:19:14,275 --> 00:19:19,864 and babies. 742 00:19:19,990 --> 00:19:21,992 And most importantly, 743 00:19:22,117 --> 00:19:25,536 whatever you do in this life, 744 00:19:25,662 --> 00:19:27,497 it's not legendary 745 00:19:27,622 --> 00:19:30,041 unless your friends are there 746 00:19:27,622 --> 00:19:30,041 to see it. 747 00:19:31,292 --> 00:19:34,378 Good luck, boys. 748 00:19:34,504 --> 00:19:37,256 Take care of 749 00:19:34,504 --> 00:19:37,256 the game for me. 750 00:19:37,381 --> 00:19:39,759 We will. 751 00:19:41,011 --> 00:19:43,805 Did you ever get 752 00:19:41,011 --> 00:19:43,805 his name? 753 00:19:43,930 --> 00:19:46,766 No. What'd he give you? 754 00:19:46,891 --> 00:19:47,642 I don't know, 755 00:19:47,767 --> 00:19:50,436 but I think it's important. 756 00:19:55,859 --> 00:19:58,569 Lil-Lily... 757 00:19:58,695 --> 00:20:00,571 I love you. And I'm so sorry. 758 00:20:00,697 --> 00:20:01,990 It doesn't matter 759 00:20:00,697 --> 00:20:01,990 where we live. 760 00:20:02,115 --> 00:20:03,116 I just want us 761 00:20:02,115 --> 00:20:03,116 to be... 762 00:20:03,241 --> 00:20:04,534 We're staying in New York. 763 00:20:04,659 --> 00:20:05,994 What? No. 764 00:20:06,119 --> 00:20:07,662 Yes. 765 00:20:07,787 --> 00:20:10,623 It just makes sense. 766 00:20:10,748 --> 00:20:15,003 I've missed you so much. 767 00:20:18,965 --> 00:20:20,925 I have to let go now. 768 00:20:21,051 --> 00:20:24,179 I know you do. 769 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,711 When we went out 770 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,711 on our first date, 771 00:20:56,836 --> 00:20:58,421 at the end 772 00:20:56,836 --> 00:20:58,421 of the night, 773 00:20:58,546 --> 00:21:01,549 did you want me 774 00:20:58,546 --> 00:21:01,549 to kiss you? 775 00:21:01,674 --> 00:21:02,842 Yeah, I did. 776 00:21:02,967 --> 00:21:05,428 Damn it!