1 00:00:02,157 --> 00:00:03,409 Whoa, sorry, sorry. 2 00:00:03,534 --> 00:00:05,578 Oh, my God! You know that 3 00:00:03,534 --> 00:00:05,578 there is gonna be champagne 4 00:00:05,703 --> 00:00:07,288 at this party, right? 5 00:00:05,703 --> 00:00:07,288 I know, I know. 6 00:00:07,413 --> 00:00:08,790 But we're gonna get 7 00:00:07,413 --> 00:00:08,790 there and it's gonna be 8 00:00:08,915 --> 00:00:11,125 everyone congratulating 9 00:00:08,915 --> 00:00:11,125 you on your book, 10 00:00:11,250 --> 00:00:13,127 saying, "This is a revelation! 11 00:00:13,252 --> 00:00:15,087 "You're gonna end 12 00:00:13,252 --> 00:00:15,087 poverty in our time. 13 00:00:15,212 --> 00:00:16,714 "This is the greatest book 14 00:00:15,212 --> 00:00:16,714 anyone's ever written 15 00:00:16,839 --> 00:00:18,132 in any genre." 16 00:00:18,257 --> 00:00:19,884 You're the only one 17 00:00:18,257 --> 00:00:19,884 that says that, sweetie. 18 00:00:20,009 --> 00:00:20,927 Well, it's true. 19 00:00:21,093 --> 00:00:22,470 So before I lose you 20 00:00:22,595 --> 00:00:24,138 to your adoring public, 21 00:00:24,263 --> 00:00:25,890 I just want to take 22 00:00:24,263 --> 00:00:25,890 a moment, you and I, 23 00:00:26,015 --> 00:00:29,727 to celebrate the best 24 00:00:26,015 --> 00:00:29,727 year of our lives. 25 00:00:30,478 --> 00:00:31,687 Happy New Year. 26 00:00:31,813 --> 00:00:33,397 Happy New Year. 27 00:00:38,068 --> 00:00:40,571 We go big tonight! 28 00:00:40,696 --> 00:00:42,197 Easy there, buddy. 29 00:00:42,323 --> 00:00:43,992 We're old people, remember? 30 00:00:44,116 --> 00:00:45,910 We haven't even gone 31 00:00:44,116 --> 00:00:45,910 medium sized in forever. 32 00:00:46,035 --> 00:00:49,371 And I cannot carry 33 00:00:46,035 --> 00:00:49,371 you home in this dress. 34 00:00:49,497 --> 00:00:50,498 Sweetie, relax. 35 00:00:50,623 --> 00:00:51,707 I got this. 36 00:00:51,833 --> 00:00:53,125 Yeah, right. 37 00:00:53,250 --> 00:00:55,336 I can see your whole future. 38 00:00:55,461 --> 00:00:58,047 You are gonna be 39 00:00:55,461 --> 00:00:58,047 so hungover tomorrow. 40 00:00:58,172 --> 00:00:59,507 I'm gonna be fine. 41 00:00:58,172 --> 00:00:59,507 Hmm. 42 00:00:59,632 --> 00:01:01,342 I made a vow, remember? 43 00:01:01,467 --> 00:01:02,593 Kids... 44 00:01:02,718 --> 00:01:03,761 the story behind that vow 45 00:01:03,886 --> 00:01:04,887 took place the morning 46 00:01:05,013 --> 00:01:06,305 of Barney and Robin's wedding. 47 00:01:06,430 --> 00:01:09,433 You see, after drinking 48 00:01:06,430 --> 00:01:09,433 way too much the night before, 49 00:01:09,558 --> 00:01:11,226 this is 50 00:01:09,558 --> 00:01:11,226 all your Uncle Barney remembers 51 00:01:11,352 --> 00:01:13,896 from the first two hours 52 00:01:11,352 --> 00:01:13,896 of his wedding day. 53 00:01:20,486 --> 00:01:21,654 And that's it. 54 00:01:21,779 --> 00:01:22,864 Now here's how the rest of us 55 00:01:22,989 --> 00:01:24,448 remember those two hours. 56 00:01:25,658 --> 00:01:27,076 Found him. 57 00:01:28,703 --> 00:01:31,413 You know, he looks better 58 00:01:28,703 --> 00:01:31,413 than I thought he would. 59 00:01:31,539 --> 00:01:34,959 Rise and shine. 60 00:01:35,084 --> 00:01:37,045 Up and at 'em, 61 00:01:35,084 --> 00:01:37,045 let's do this. 62 00:01:38,004 --> 00:01:39,547 There's a gas leak! 63 00:01:40,548 --> 00:01:41,966 The building's on fire! 64 00:01:43,592 --> 00:01:44,886 Your shoes don't 65 00:01:43,592 --> 00:01:44,886 match your belt! 66 00:01:54,770 --> 00:01:55,938 Uh-oh. 67 00:01:56,064 --> 00:01:58,440 (piano playing 68 00:01:56,064 --> 00:01:58,440 Wagner's "Bridal Chorus") 69 00:02:12,955 --> 00:02:14,123 Okay, I think my fiancé 70 00:02:14,248 --> 00:02:15,499 peed himself a little. 71 00:02:15,624 --> 00:02:17,752 Oh, tomorrow 72 00:02:15,624 --> 00:02:17,752 I'm gonna be able to say 73 00:02:17,877 --> 00:02:20,088 my husband 74 00:02:17,877 --> 00:02:20,088 peed himself a little. 75 00:02:20,212 --> 00:02:21,589 Don't worry. 76 00:02:21,714 --> 00:02:22,965 I accidentally spilled 77 00:02:21,714 --> 00:02:22,965 some iced tea on him. 78 00:02:23,091 --> 00:02:24,133 Oh, thank God. 79 00:02:24,258 --> 00:02:25,175 I didn't really spill 80 00:02:25,300 --> 00:02:26,510 some iced tea on him. 81 00:02:26,635 --> 00:02:28,096 Oh, God, this is bad. 82 00:02:28,220 --> 00:02:29,680 We're doing 83 00:02:28,220 --> 00:02:29,680 family wedding pictures 84 00:02:29,805 --> 00:02:31,974 at the lighthouse 85 00:02:29,805 --> 00:02:31,974 in two hours. 86 00:02:32,100 --> 00:02:33,601 My father is paying 87 00:02:32,100 --> 00:02:33,601 for the whole thing. 88 00:02:33,726 --> 00:02:35,103 He's gonna kill Barney 89 00:02:33,726 --> 00:02:35,103 if he doesn't show up. 90 00:02:35,227 --> 00:02:36,771 Come on, your dad's tough. 91 00:02:36,896 --> 00:02:38,856 But won't he understand a 92 00:02:36,896 --> 00:02:38,856 good old-fashioned hangover? 93 00:02:38,981 --> 00:02:40,357 My father's recipe 94 00:02:40,482 --> 00:02:41,358 for a Bloody Mary 95 00:02:41,483 --> 00:02:42,526 trades out tomato juice 96 00:02:42,651 --> 00:02:43,736 for wolf's blood. 97 00:02:43,861 --> 00:02:45,320 Ooh. 98 00:02:43,861 --> 00:02:45,320 Ooh. 99 00:02:45,446 --> 00:02:46,405 Bloody Mary? 100 00:02:46,530 --> 00:02:50,159 Sounds more like 101 00:02:46,530 --> 00:02:50,159 a Bloody Scary. 102 00:02:50,284 --> 00:02:51,119 I'm gonna say it again. 103 00:02:51,243 --> 00:02:52,578 Uh, hold on. 104 00:02:51,243 --> 00:02:52,578 Bloody Mary? 105 00:02:51,243 --> 00:02:52,578 Sounds more... 106 00:02:52,703 --> 00:02:53,704 You guys are forgetting 107 00:02:53,829 --> 00:02:57,416 Barney Stinson has 108 00:02:53,829 --> 00:02:57,416 a super power. 109 00:02:57,541 --> 00:02:59,710 He can't take a bad photo. 110 00:03:00,836 --> 00:03:02,504 Okay, here. 111 00:03:02,630 --> 00:03:04,214 Watch. 112 00:03:07,802 --> 00:03:08,761 Guys, Barney may be dead. 113 00:03:08,886 --> 00:03:09,720 That's it! 114 00:03:09,845 --> 00:03:12,264 You know what? We are all 115 00:03:09,845 --> 00:03:12,264 now seriously too old 116 00:03:12,389 --> 00:03:13,474 to keep doing this to ourselves! 117 00:03:13,599 --> 00:03:15,059 I vow here and now 118 00:03:15,184 --> 00:03:18,353 that I shall never again 119 00:03:15,184 --> 00:03:18,353 get that drunk in my life! 120 00:03:18,479 --> 00:03:21,190 Yeah, he'd wind up 121 00:03:18,479 --> 00:03:21,190 breaking that vow. 122 00:03:21,315 --> 00:03:23,192 And I will not break that vow 123 00:03:23,317 --> 00:03:25,861 as sure as I will always 124 00:03:23,317 --> 00:03:25,861 have a full head of hair! 125 00:03:25,987 --> 00:03:28,363 In other elections today, 126 00:03:28,489 --> 00:03:30,491 in the race for New York 127 00:03:28,489 --> 00:03:30,491 State Supreme Court, 128 00:03:30,616 --> 00:03:32,034 Judge Brad Morris... 129 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:34,078 Mmm, just look at him. 130 00:03:34,203 --> 00:03:35,579 I would love to rub that down. 131 00:03:35,704 --> 00:03:36,872 Sorry. 132 00:03:36,998 --> 00:03:38,624 Has increased his sizable lead 133 00:03:38,749 --> 00:03:40,668 over Judge Marshall Eriksen. 134 00:03:40,793 --> 00:03:42,753 It was supposed to 135 00:03:40,793 --> 00:03:42,753 be a victory party. 136 00:03:42,878 --> 00:03:44,630 You ran 137 00:03:42,878 --> 00:03:44,630 a great campaign, baby. 138 00:03:44,755 --> 00:03:46,507 Yeah, but it was 139 00:03:44,755 --> 00:03:46,507 the most stressful 140 00:03:46,632 --> 00:03:48,342 three weeks of my life! 141 00:03:50,427 --> 00:03:52,221 And in other results, 142 00:03:50,427 --> 00:03:52,221 a surprise comeback. 143 00:03:52,346 --> 00:03:55,349 We are now ready to call the New 144 00:03:52,346 --> 00:03:55,349 York State Supreme Court race 145 00:03:55,474 --> 00:03:57,351 for Judge Marshall Eriksen. 146 00:03:59,020 --> 00:04:01,022 We'll go to Judge Eriksen 147 00:03:59,020 --> 00:04:01,022 for a live statement 148 00:04:01,147 --> 00:04:02,523 in just a few minutes. 149 00:04:02,648 --> 00:04:04,859 Come again for Judge Fudge? 150 00:04:05,901 --> 00:04:06,944 As your next commissioner... 151 00:04:07,069 --> 00:04:09,238 State Supreme Court judge. 152 00:04:09,363 --> 00:04:10,698 of Gotham City... 153 00:04:10,823 --> 00:04:12,950 The State of New York. 154 00:04:13,075 --> 00:04:16,162 I vow to make 155 00:04:13,075 --> 00:04:16,162 Batman work harder. 156 00:04:16,286 --> 00:04:17,371 I say 157 00:04:17,496 --> 00:04:20,332 shine that Bat-Signal 158 00:04:17,496 --> 00:04:20,332 even for small stuff. 159 00:04:20,457 --> 00:04:22,877 Like, uh, shoveling snow. 160 00:04:23,002 --> 00:04:26,714 Or, like, uh, if a police horse 161 00:04:23,002 --> 00:04:26,714 dumps out in the park. 162 00:04:26,839 --> 00:04:27,756 Okay, well, that will be 163 00:04:27,882 --> 00:04:29,133 all at this time, thank you. 164 00:04:29,258 --> 00:04:31,010 That's all. 165 00:04:29,258 --> 00:04:31,010 Okay. 166 00:04:31,135 --> 00:04:32,094 Mmm, good night. 167 00:04:32,220 --> 00:04:33,428 Never again! 168 00:04:33,554 --> 00:04:35,014 I vow it! 169 00:04:35,139 --> 00:04:36,765 I am more worried 170 00:04:35,139 --> 00:04:36,765 about the vows I have to take 171 00:04:36,891 --> 00:04:38,433 with this useless 172 00:04:36,891 --> 00:04:38,433 pile of garbage 173 00:04:38,559 --> 00:04:39,393 in a few hours from now. 174 00:04:39,518 --> 00:04:40,644 What do we do? 175 00:04:40,769 --> 00:04:41,770 You guys see the irony here. 176 00:04:41,896 --> 00:04:43,147 The only person 177 00:04:41,896 --> 00:04:43,147 who could possibly get 178 00:04:43,272 --> 00:04:44,606 Barney back on his feet 179 00:04:44,732 --> 00:04:45,399 is Barney. 180 00:04:45,524 --> 00:04:46,692 See, over the years, 181 00:04:46,817 --> 00:04:47,860 we'd all come to experience 182 00:04:47,985 --> 00:04:49,945 something Barney called... 183 00:04:50,071 --> 00:04:52,489 Stinson's Hangover Fixer Elixir! 184 00:04:52,614 --> 00:04:53,574 The most effective 185 00:04:53,699 --> 00:04:54,867 post-bender, 186 00:04:53,699 --> 00:04:54,867 head's-too-tender ender 187 00:04:54,992 --> 00:04:55,951 from here to Denver. 188 00:04:56,077 --> 00:04:57,078 What's in it? 189 00:04:57,203 --> 00:04:58,495 Glad you asked. 190 00:04:57,203 --> 00:04:58,495 Ah, I take it back. 191 00:04:58,620 --> 00:05:00,164 Columbia University, 1941... 192 00:04:58,620 --> 00:05:00,164 I take it back, I take it back. 193 00:05:00,289 --> 00:05:02,250 President Franklin 194 00:05:00,289 --> 00:05:02,250 Delano Roosevelt, 195 00:05:02,374 --> 00:05:05,711 whom we all know is most famous 196 00:05:02,374 --> 00:05:05,711 for being a world-class drunk, 197 00:05:05,836 --> 00:05:07,171 commissioned a top secret 198 00:05:05,836 --> 00:05:07,171 scientific project... 199 00:05:07,296 --> 00:05:10,049 develop an elixir to cure 200 00:05:07,296 --> 00:05:10,049 the common hangover. 201 00:05:10,174 --> 00:05:12,509 And what brilliant scientific 202 00:05:10,174 --> 00:05:12,509 mind did boozy old FDR pick 203 00:05:12,634 --> 00:05:15,429 to head up this historic task? 204 00:05:12,634 --> 00:05:15,429 Look. 205 00:05:15,554 --> 00:05:17,306 My head really hurts. 206 00:05:15,554 --> 00:05:17,306 Let's just speed this along. 207 00:05:17,431 --> 00:05:18,182 You're clearly ripping off 208 00:05:18,307 --> 00:05:20,226 the story 209 00:05:18,307 --> 00:05:20,226 of the Manhattan Project, 210 00:05:20,350 --> 00:05:22,603 which was run 211 00:05:20,350 --> 00:05:22,603 by Dr. Robert Oppenheimer. 212 00:05:22,728 --> 00:05:26,774 So I'm gonna guess it was 213 00:05:22,728 --> 00:05:26,774 your distant relative... 214 00:05:27,775 --> 00:05:29,985 Barnert Stinsonheimer? 215 00:05:30,111 --> 00:05:33,197 Somebody's read 216 00:05:30,111 --> 00:05:33,197 their history books. 217 00:05:33,322 --> 00:05:35,116 The Too Many Manhattans Project 218 00:05:35,241 --> 00:05:37,451 hit a few snags at first. 219 00:05:37,576 --> 00:05:38,786 The first batch exploded. 220 00:05:38,911 --> 00:05:40,621 Which sounded 221 00:05:38,911 --> 00:05:40,621 kind of like this. 222 00:05:40,746 --> 00:05:42,497 Boom! 223 00:05:40,746 --> 00:05:42,497 Oh! 224 00:05:42,623 --> 00:05:43,540 You suck. 225 00:05:43,665 --> 00:05:45,000 Just let me finish. 226 00:05:45,126 --> 00:05:46,752 But the second batch... 227 00:05:46,877 --> 00:05:48,503 sadly also exploded. 228 00:05:48,629 --> 00:05:50,005 Boom! 229 00:05:48,629 --> 00:05:50,005 Oh! 230 00:05:50,131 --> 00:05:51,548 Why are you here right now? 231 00:05:51,673 --> 00:05:53,134 Do you want to hear 232 00:05:51,673 --> 00:05:53,134 the story or not? 233 00:05:53,259 --> 00:05:54,468 Absolutely not. Please leave. 234 00:05:54,593 --> 00:05:55,844 After some trial and error, 235 00:05:55,970 --> 00:05:58,013 Dr. Stinsonheimer finally found 236 00:05:58,139 --> 00:06:00,141 the magic formula. 237 00:06:02,392 --> 00:06:03,685 Hang on. 238 00:06:03,811 --> 00:06:05,020 Funyuns? 239 00:06:05,146 --> 00:06:06,355 Tantrum Soda? 240 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:07,481 Sure. 241 00:06:07,606 --> 00:06:08,523 In 1941? 242 00:06:08,649 --> 00:06:09,524 Sure. 243 00:06:09,650 --> 00:06:10,776 They haven't made 244 00:06:09,650 --> 00:06:10,776 new Tantrum since then. 245 00:06:10,901 --> 00:06:11,735 That stuff lasts a while. 246 00:06:11,860 --> 00:06:14,989 Anyway, the elixir 247 00:06:11,860 --> 00:06:14,989 was such a success, 248 00:06:15,114 --> 00:06:17,449 he was awarded 249 00:06:15,114 --> 00:06:17,449 the Bro-bel Prize. 250 00:06:17,574 --> 00:06:19,576 True story. 251 00:06:19,701 --> 00:06:20,577 Boom! 252 00:06:20,702 --> 00:06:22,037 Wh-Wh-Why? 253 00:06:22,163 --> 00:06:23,497 That time I was 254 00:06:22,163 --> 00:06:23,497 just messing with you. 255 00:06:23,622 --> 00:06:25,415 Just give me the stupid drink. 256 00:06:27,459 --> 00:06:30,921 And the craziest part was... 257 00:06:34,258 --> 00:06:36,593 I-I feel better. 258 00:06:36,718 --> 00:06:38,553 Over the years, 259 00:06:36,718 --> 00:06:38,553 each of us would discover 260 00:06:38,679 --> 00:06:40,389 that Barney's 261 00:06:38,679 --> 00:06:40,389 elixir actually worked. 262 00:06:40,514 --> 00:06:42,141 Like, way better. 263 00:06:42,266 --> 00:06:43,351 What's in this thing again? 264 00:06:43,475 --> 00:06:45,102 Stinson family secret. 265 00:06:45,227 --> 00:06:47,313 Oh, come on, you told me most of 266 00:06:45,227 --> 00:06:47,313 the ingredients in your story. 267 00:06:47,437 --> 00:06:48,981 Just tell me the secret one. 268 00:06:49,106 --> 00:06:50,191 Ha! I'll never tell you. 269 00:06:50,316 --> 00:06:52,901 I'll take it with me 270 00:06:50,316 --> 00:06:52,901 to my grave. 271 00:06:53,027 --> 00:06:53,944 Damn it, Barney! 272 00:06:54,069 --> 00:06:55,154 Why are you always so selfish? 273 00:06:55,279 --> 00:06:56,655 We are trying to help you! 274 00:06:56,780 --> 00:06:57,656 Okay, 275 00:06:56,780 --> 00:06:57,656 we somehow have 276 00:06:57,781 --> 00:06:58,740 to get this leaky barf bag 277 00:06:58,866 --> 00:07:00,534 back on his feet before 278 00:06:58,866 --> 00:07:00,534 the wedding pictures. 279 00:07:00,659 --> 00:07:03,245 Well, we know what Barney 280 00:07:00,659 --> 00:07:03,245 would want us to do. 281 00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:05,998 Say cheese. 282 00:07:06,123 --> 00:07:07,416 Cheese! 283 00:07:07,541 --> 00:07:08,750 No! 284 00:07:08,876 --> 00:07:10,585 We are not doing 285 00:07:08,876 --> 00:07:10,585 Weekend at Barney's! 286 00:07:10,711 --> 00:07:11,795 But that's the dream! 287 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:13,422 I can't believe 288 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:13,422 I just said that. 289 00:07:13,547 --> 00:07:14,923 Someone suggest 290 00:07:13,547 --> 00:07:14,923 something useful! 291 00:07:15,049 --> 00:07:16,258 Okay, here's the plan. 292 00:07:16,384 --> 00:07:18,010 Marshall, you and Ted 293 00:07:16,384 --> 00:07:18,010 go gather 294 00:07:18,135 --> 00:07:19,345 the ingredients we do know. 295 00:07:19,469 --> 00:07:20,512 Robin, 296 00:07:20,637 --> 00:07:21,889 you wake up Barney long enough 297 00:07:22,014 --> 00:07:23,598 to find out 298 00:07:22,014 --> 00:07:23,598 the secret ingredient. 299 00:07:23,724 --> 00:07:27,602 And I'll race down to the spa 300 00:07:23,724 --> 00:07:27,602 to keep my 8:15 mani and pedi. 301 00:07:27,728 --> 00:07:28,520 Okay, let's do this! 302 00:07:28,645 --> 00:07:29,646 Bitch? 303 00:07:29,771 --> 00:07:30,814 Walk out that door and I tag in 304 00:07:30,939 --> 00:07:31,940 Zabka as my maid of honor. 305 00:07:32,066 --> 00:07:34,860 Okay, let's start simple. 306 00:07:34,985 --> 00:07:35,903 Fresh ocean air. 307 00:07:36,028 --> 00:07:36,820 Come on, baby. 308 00:07:36,945 --> 00:07:38,364 Come on, honey. 309 00:07:38,488 --> 00:07:40,324 Come on, love, yeah. 310 00:07:38,488 --> 00:07:40,324 Baby, baby. 311 00:07:42,410 --> 00:07:43,785 I'll get the elevator. 312 00:07:43,911 --> 00:07:46,247 Oh, I should get some water. 313 00:07:57,007 --> 00:07:58,759 Okay, so... 314 00:07:58,884 --> 00:08:00,844 accidentally throwing 315 00:07:58,884 --> 00:08:00,844 Barney down the stairs 316 00:08:00,969 --> 00:08:02,888 did not wake him up. 317 00:08:03,013 --> 00:08:05,266 Nor did banging his 318 00:08:03,013 --> 00:08:05,266 head on each step 319 00:08:05,391 --> 00:08:06,641 as we dragged him back up here. 320 00:08:06,767 --> 00:08:09,395 So, how do we 321 00:08:06,767 --> 00:08:09,395 wake him up long enough 322 00:08:09,519 --> 00:08:11,188 to tell us the final ingredient? 323 00:08:11,313 --> 00:08:12,689 You know, when my sister and I 324 00:08:12,814 --> 00:08:14,316 had trouble getting up 325 00:08:12,814 --> 00:08:14,316 for school, 326 00:08:14,442 --> 00:08:16,860 my dad had a few 327 00:08:14,442 --> 00:08:16,860 cute little tricks. 328 00:08:22,824 --> 00:08:23,658 I'll do it! 329 00:08:23,784 --> 00:08:25,911 I swear to God I'll do it! 330 00:08:26,036 --> 00:08:27,788 Your dad used to do this to you? 331 00:08:27,913 --> 00:08:29,831 Well, it was with 332 00:08:27,913 --> 00:08:29,831 a Cabbage Patch doll and an ax. 333 00:08:29,957 --> 00:08:30,665 But same idea. Trust me. 334 00:08:30,791 --> 00:08:33,043 I was never late 335 00:08:30,791 --> 00:08:33,043 for kindergarten again. 336 00:08:33,168 --> 00:08:35,545 What? Come on. 337 00:08:39,674 --> 00:08:40,675 I second Marshall's vow. 338 00:08:40,801 --> 00:08:43,678 I will never, ever get 339 00:08:40,801 --> 00:08:43,678 that drunk again. 340 00:08:43,804 --> 00:08:45,764 Yeah. She would. 341 00:08:45,889 --> 00:08:48,016 My baby boy's 342 00:08:48,142 --> 00:08:49,268 in college. 343 00:08:49,393 --> 00:08:50,227 Did you pack enough undies? 344 00:08:50,352 --> 00:08:51,853 Yes, Mom. 345 00:08:51,979 --> 00:08:54,273 Your father did a lot of puking 346 00:08:54,398 --> 00:08:56,191 in these hallowed halls. 347 00:08:56,317 --> 00:08:58,152 From-from binge studying. 348 00:08:58,277 --> 00:09:00,279 Saved it. 349 00:09:00,404 --> 00:09:01,280 That reminds me, mister. 350 00:09:01,405 --> 00:09:02,906 No underage drinking. 351 00:09:03,031 --> 00:09:04,741 No good comes 352 00:09:03,031 --> 00:09:04,741 from hanging out 353 00:09:04,866 --> 00:09:06,701 in bars and getting drunk. 354 00:09:06,827 --> 00:09:09,413 But every story 355 00:09:06,827 --> 00:09:09,413 from your 20s starts in a bar. 356 00:09:09,538 --> 00:09:10,539 Listen to your mother. 357 00:09:10,664 --> 00:09:13,250 Oh, what are we gonna do 358 00:09:10,664 --> 00:09:13,250 without you in the house? 359 00:09:14,293 --> 00:09:16,837 We got him out of the house! 360 00:09:14,293 --> 00:09:16,837 Drink up! 361 00:09:21,216 --> 00:09:23,844 Oh... 362 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:28,849 You son of a bitch! 363 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:28,849 You son of a me! 364 00:09:28,974 --> 00:09:30,976 All right, we got most 365 00:09:28,974 --> 00:09:30,976 of the ingredients on our list. 366 00:09:31,101 --> 00:09:32,811 Ginger, bananas, Funyuns. 367 00:09:32,936 --> 00:09:34,896 I cannot believe 368 00:09:32,936 --> 00:09:34,896 that minimart sold Tantrum. 369 00:09:35,022 --> 00:09:36,690 It's been discontinued 370 00:09:35,022 --> 00:09:36,690 for years. 371 00:09:36,815 --> 00:09:37,691 Uh, hey. 372 00:09:37,816 --> 00:09:39,901 Will you, uh, 373 00:09:37,816 --> 00:09:39,901 toss me that bottle? 374 00:09:40,027 --> 00:09:41,820 Oh. Yeah, we haven't 375 00:09:40,027 --> 00:09:41,820 done this forever. 376 00:09:43,531 --> 00:09:44,323 Dude! 377 00:09:44,448 --> 00:09:45,324 You're a grown man. 378 00:09:45,449 --> 00:09:46,616 Why you throwing a Tantrum? 379 00:09:46,741 --> 00:09:47,826 Nice! 380 00:09:47,951 --> 00:09:49,077 So awesome! 381 00:09:49,203 --> 00:09:49,911 So awesome! 382 00:09:50,037 --> 00:09:51,121 Okay, there's only 383 00:09:51,246 --> 00:09:52,789 one more item on the list and... 384 00:09:52,914 --> 00:09:54,916 it's an odd one. 385 00:09:55,042 --> 00:09:56,710 Grease? 386 00:09:55,042 --> 00:09:56,710 Grease. 387 00:09:56,835 --> 00:09:59,338 At the Farhampton Inn, 388 00:09:56,835 --> 00:09:59,338 we don't cook with grease. 389 00:09:59,463 --> 00:10:01,423 Our menu is organic. 390 00:10:01,549 --> 00:10:03,175 Farm to table, locally grown. 391 00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:05,511 No "grease." 392 00:10:05,677 --> 00:10:06,512 Sir, 393 00:10:06,636 --> 00:10:08,222 I am from Minnesota, 394 00:10:08,347 --> 00:10:10,140 where every meal 395 00:10:08,347 --> 00:10:10,140 is cooked with grease. 396 00:10:10,265 --> 00:10:12,726 And my father dubbed 397 00:10:10,265 --> 00:10:12,726 that food the tastiest eats 398 00:10:12,851 --> 00:10:15,645 in the whole 399 00:10:12,851 --> 00:10:15,645 gosh darn world, so... 400 00:10:15,770 --> 00:10:17,231 And how is your father's health? 401 00:10:19,691 --> 00:10:21,026 Point is, 402 00:10:19,691 --> 00:10:21,026 it tastes really good. 403 00:10:21,151 --> 00:10:22,277 Also, uh, 404 00:10:22,403 --> 00:10:24,238 we need it to help a friend 405 00:10:22,403 --> 00:10:24,238 recover from a hangover. 406 00:10:24,363 --> 00:10:25,947 Wait a second. 407 00:10:26,073 --> 00:10:27,782 There's bacon right here. 408 00:10:27,908 --> 00:10:28,950 And where there's bacon, 409 00:10:29,076 --> 00:10:30,244 there's bacon grease. 410 00:10:30,369 --> 00:10:31,328 Which we throw out. 411 00:10:31,453 --> 00:10:33,830 And we aren't making 412 00:10:31,453 --> 00:10:33,830 any more bacon today. 413 00:10:33,955 --> 00:10:36,500 Not unless it all somehow gets 414 00:10:33,955 --> 00:10:36,500 eaten in the ten minutes 415 00:10:36,625 --> 00:10:39,002 before breakfast is over. 416 00:10:40,462 --> 00:10:41,671 No, no, no! 417 00:10:41,796 --> 00:10:43,090 Ted, do not give me that look! 418 00:10:43,215 --> 00:10:44,174 A mountain of food. 419 00:10:44,299 --> 00:10:45,634 A ticking clock? Come on! 420 00:10:45,759 --> 00:10:46,801 You live for this stuff! 421 00:10:46,927 --> 00:10:48,970 No, I'm not a wild animal. 422 00:10:49,096 --> 00:10:51,139 I'm a Columbia-educated lawyer, 423 00:10:51,265 --> 00:10:54,142 poised to become a judge 424 00:10:51,265 --> 00:10:54,142 before age 35. 425 00:10:54,268 --> 00:10:55,561 And remind me, 426 00:10:54,268 --> 00:10:55,561 how did you celebrate 427 00:10:55,685 --> 00:10:56,853 getting accepted into Columbia? 428 00:10:56,978 --> 00:10:59,607 You eat one 429 00:10:56,978 --> 00:10:59,607 eight-pound block of fudge 430 00:10:59,731 --> 00:11:01,983 in 12 minutes 431 00:10:59,731 --> 00:11:01,983 and you're marked for life. 432 00:11:02,109 --> 00:11:03,860 You're not marked for life... 433 00:11:03,985 --> 00:11:05,028 Big Fudge. 434 00:11:05,153 --> 00:11:06,321 I'm out, okay? 435 00:11:06,447 --> 00:11:07,197 You eat the bacon. 436 00:11:07,322 --> 00:11:08,782 You know I can't. 437 00:11:08,907 --> 00:11:10,033 I'm allergic. 438 00:11:08,907 --> 00:11:10,033 Ted. 439 00:11:10,158 --> 00:11:11,701 I've been trying 440 00:11:10,158 --> 00:11:11,701 to tell you this for years. 441 00:11:11,826 --> 00:11:13,454 Your bacon allergy is a lie 442 00:11:13,579 --> 00:11:15,623 your mother made up 443 00:11:13,579 --> 00:11:15,623 so you'd eat healthy as a kid. 444 00:11:15,747 --> 00:11:17,874 No, I'm just allergic 445 00:11:15,747 --> 00:11:17,874 to a lot of stuff. 446 00:11:17,999 --> 00:11:19,418 Bacon, doughnuts, 447 00:11:19,543 --> 00:11:21,670 Halloween candy. 448 00:11:21,795 --> 00:11:23,713 Not saying thank you. 449 00:11:23,838 --> 00:11:25,466 Oh, my God! 450 00:11:25,591 --> 00:11:27,384 That bitch lied to me! 451 00:11:27,509 --> 00:11:29,428 Okay, I'll-I'll do it. 452 00:11:29,553 --> 00:11:32,389 But I... look, I don't, I don't 453 00:11:29,553 --> 00:11:32,389 even know if I'll like bacon. 454 00:11:36,143 --> 00:11:38,228 Mm-hmm. 455 00:11:39,229 --> 00:11:41,189 What do you think? 456 00:11:43,275 --> 00:11:45,902 I have seen the face of God. 457 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:51,492 Okay, there is one thing 458 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:51,492 we haven't tried yet. 459 00:11:51,617 --> 00:11:53,494 Making out with each other. 460 00:11:53,619 --> 00:11:55,370 You really think 461 00:11:53,619 --> 00:11:55,370 that will wake him up? 462 00:11:55,496 --> 00:11:56,580 Wake up who now? 463 00:11:59,916 --> 00:12:01,418 Look at this soggy bag of snot. 464 00:12:01,543 --> 00:12:03,545 That's it, 465 00:12:01,543 --> 00:12:03,545 I am joining Marshall's vow. 466 00:12:03,671 --> 00:12:06,674 I am never, ever getting 467 00:12:03,671 --> 00:12:06,674 that drunk again. 468 00:12:06,798 --> 00:12:09,926 Kids, you see 469 00:12:06,798 --> 00:12:09,926 where this is going. 470 00:12:13,054 --> 00:12:15,098 Did last night really happen? 471 00:12:15,223 --> 00:12:17,351 I think so. 472 00:12:17,476 --> 00:12:19,269 Look, let's just agree. 473 00:12:19,394 --> 00:12:21,771 Absolute silence for 474 00:12:19,394 --> 00:12:21,771 the rest of the day. 475 00:12:24,983 --> 00:12:26,735 Every time. 476 00:12:26,860 --> 00:12:27,861 You want me to get her? 477 00:12:27,986 --> 00:12:29,946 No, I got her. 478 00:12:32,741 --> 00:12:35,076 Yeah, I know, I know. 479 00:12:40,081 --> 00:12:41,709 Hey, Barney? 480 00:12:41,833 --> 00:12:42,626 Yeah? 481 00:12:42,751 --> 00:12:44,545 Whose baby is this? 482 00:12:50,925 --> 00:12:53,261 Uh, pardon. 483 00:12:56,097 --> 00:12:57,891 How could you, Mom? 484 00:12:58,016 --> 00:12:58,808 You had the map 485 00:12:58,933 --> 00:13:01,061 to heaven 486 00:12:58,933 --> 00:13:01,061 and you never showed me the way. 487 00:13:01,186 --> 00:13:02,979 May you rot 488 00:13:01,186 --> 00:13:02,979 in the bacon-less hell 489 00:13:03,104 --> 00:13:05,733 that I've lived in 490 00:13:03,104 --> 00:13:05,733 my entire life. 491 00:13:05,857 --> 00:13:07,901 Yeah, they-they, uh, 492 00:13:05,857 --> 00:13:07,901 crisp it up real nice here. 493 00:13:08,026 --> 00:13:08,985 Don't they? 494 00:13:08,026 --> 00:13:08,985 Mm-hmm. 495 00:13:09,110 --> 00:13:10,070 What is that... 496 00:13:09,110 --> 00:13:10,070 applewood smoked? 497 00:13:10,195 --> 00:13:10,904 You know what, Ted, 498 00:13:11,029 --> 00:13:12,614 you've been going 499 00:13:11,029 --> 00:13:12,614 at it real hard. 500 00:13:12,740 --> 00:13:14,157 Why don't you take a breather? 501 00:13:14,282 --> 00:13:15,534 And I'll drive us home. 502 00:13:18,453 --> 00:13:19,871 Well, congratulations. 503 00:13:19,996 --> 00:13:21,540 Here's your grease. 504 00:13:21,665 --> 00:13:22,708 No! 505 00:13:22,832 --> 00:13:24,710 I don't want to lose a finger. 506 00:13:24,834 --> 00:13:25,877 Here. 507 00:13:24,834 --> 00:13:25,877 Thanks. 508 00:13:26,002 --> 00:13:26,878 All right, Ted, let's go. 509 00:13:27,003 --> 00:13:28,963 No, no! 510 00:13:29,089 --> 00:13:31,049 I finally found 511 00:13:29,089 --> 00:13:31,049 the one, Marshall. 512 00:13:31,174 --> 00:13:33,719 Her name is Bacon. 513 00:13:33,843 --> 00:13:36,888 You know, this would go great on 514 00:13:33,843 --> 00:13:36,888 one of my mom's LT sandwiches. 515 00:13:37,013 --> 00:13:38,306 Buddy, you got to take it easy. 516 00:13:38,432 --> 00:13:39,433 Never! 517 00:13:39,558 --> 00:13:41,769 I got a lifetime without bacon 518 00:13:39,558 --> 00:13:41,769 to make up for. 519 00:13:41,893 --> 00:13:43,311 I will keep eating and eating 520 00:13:43,437 --> 00:13:45,230 and eating... 521 00:13:43,437 --> 00:13:45,230 Oh, God, help me. 522 00:13:45,355 --> 00:13:46,064 I'm going down. 523 00:13:46,189 --> 00:13:48,149 And that's the first 524 00:13:48,275 --> 00:13:50,944 and last time I ever ate bacon. 525 00:13:51,069 --> 00:13:52,320 He's not waking up! 526 00:13:52,446 --> 00:13:53,447 I'm out of ideas! 527 00:13:53,572 --> 00:13:55,407 We've tried everything! 528 00:13:55,532 --> 00:13:56,950 Not everything. 529 00:13:57,659 --> 00:13:59,244 Lily Aldrin? 530 00:13:59,369 --> 00:14:00,662 Let's make out. 531 00:14:02,163 --> 00:14:03,457 Are you sure? 532 00:14:03,582 --> 00:14:04,999 Yeah, baby, I'm sure. 533 00:14:05,125 --> 00:14:06,501 Um... 534 00:14:06,627 --> 00:14:08,545 okay, well, you know what? 535 00:14:06,627 --> 00:14:08,545 I mean... 536 00:14:08,670 --> 00:14:11,005 it probably won't even work. 537 00:14:11,131 --> 00:14:12,633 And it was stupid. 538 00:14:12,758 --> 00:14:14,008 I'm stupid. 539 00:14:15,803 --> 00:14:17,554 You're beautiful. 540 00:14:23,268 --> 00:14:25,103 More, more, more, more, 541 00:14:23,268 --> 00:14:25,103 more, more, more, more. 542 00:14:25,228 --> 00:14:26,104 Whoa, he's awake! 543 00:14:26,229 --> 00:14:27,689 How'd you do it? 544 00:14:27,815 --> 00:14:28,690 Nothing special. 545 00:14:28,816 --> 00:14:29,316 Hydration, patience. 546 00:14:29,441 --> 00:14:30,818 Quick, before he 547 00:14:29,441 --> 00:14:30,818 passes out again. 548 00:14:30,942 --> 00:14:32,110 Barney! 549 00:14:32,235 --> 00:14:33,987 What's the secret ingredient 550 00:14:34,112 --> 00:14:36,906 in Stinson's 551 00:14:34,112 --> 00:14:36,906 Hangover Fixer Elixir? 552 00:14:37,031 --> 00:14:38,241 Come on, stay with us. 553 00:14:38,366 --> 00:14:40,828 The secret ingredient 554 00:14:40,952 --> 00:14:42,078 is... 555 00:14:42,203 --> 00:14:43,330 nothing. 556 00:14:43,455 --> 00:14:44,456 Huh? 557 00:14:44,581 --> 00:14:46,708 I ate too much bacon. 558 00:14:46,834 --> 00:14:48,918 Stinson's Hangover Fixer Elixir 559 00:14:49,043 --> 00:14:52,088 is a lie. 560 00:14:52,213 --> 00:14:54,924 That's the secret. 561 00:14:55,049 --> 00:14:56,677 You... 562 00:14:56,802 --> 00:14:59,346 You know, I could use 563 00:14:56,802 --> 00:14:59,346 a little lie-down myself. 564 00:15:04,601 --> 00:15:07,688 So, Stinson's Hangover 565 00:15:04,601 --> 00:15:07,688 Fixer Elixir is a lie? 566 00:15:07,813 --> 00:15:09,731 Why would you lie about that? 567 00:15:09,857 --> 00:15:10,565 Just to mess with us? 568 00:15:10,691 --> 00:15:12,108 Like that one jerk 569 00:15:10,691 --> 00:15:12,108 in every high school 570 00:15:12,233 --> 00:15:13,360 who brings in fake mushrooms 571 00:15:13,485 --> 00:15:14,444 just to see 572 00:15:13,485 --> 00:15:14,444 who's gullible enough 573 00:15:14,569 --> 00:15:15,612 to think they're tripping? 574 00:15:15,737 --> 00:15:17,656 Damn you, Ollie Gunderson. 575 00:15:17,781 --> 00:15:20,283 I knew those shrooms 576 00:15:17,781 --> 00:15:20,283 tasted like Sea-Monkeys. 577 00:15:20,408 --> 00:15:21,993 How do you know 578 00:15:20,408 --> 00:15:21,993 what Sea-Monkeys taste like? 579 00:15:22,118 --> 00:15:23,912 My older brothers are not... 580 00:15:24,037 --> 00:15:25,747 the best people. 581 00:15:25,873 --> 00:15:26,790 Why did you lie? 582 00:15:26,915 --> 00:15:28,876 I... 583 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:32,420 love you guys. 584 00:15:33,171 --> 00:15:35,382 He loves us? 585 00:15:35,507 --> 00:15:36,925 Let's throw him down 586 00:15:35,507 --> 00:15:36,925 the stairs again. 587 00:15:37,050 --> 00:15:38,218 Yeah! 588 00:15:37,050 --> 00:15:38,218 Yeah! 589 00:15:38,343 --> 00:15:39,344 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! 590 00:15:38,343 --> 00:15:39,344 Think about it. 591 00:15:39,469 --> 00:15:40,595 The first time Barney 592 00:15:40,721 --> 00:15:41,596 gave us that drink, 593 00:15:41,722 --> 00:15:42,597 those hangovers all happened 594 00:15:42,723 --> 00:15:44,307 at the worst possible moments. 595 00:15:44,432 --> 00:15:46,685 Remember? Marshall thought 596 00:15:44,432 --> 00:15:46,685 he botched day two 597 00:15:46,810 --> 00:15:49,813 of the bar exam, so he freaked 598 00:15:46,810 --> 00:15:49,813 out that night and got wasted? 599 00:15:49,938 --> 00:15:51,857 Now I'm gonna miss 600 00:15:49,938 --> 00:15:51,857 the last day of the bar? 601 00:15:51,981 --> 00:15:53,107 I'll never be a lawyer! 602 00:15:53,233 --> 00:15:55,318 I should just go back to being 603 00:15:53,233 --> 00:15:55,318 a manager at Structure. 604 00:15:55,443 --> 00:15:57,445 That ten percent 605 00:15:55,443 --> 00:15:57,445 off all vests sale? 606 00:15:57,571 --> 00:15:58,822 That was my idea! 607 00:15:58,947 --> 00:16:00,073 As was cutting the arms off 608 00:16:00,198 --> 00:16:01,324 all the shirts 609 00:16:00,198 --> 00:16:01,324 that weren't selling. 610 00:16:01,449 --> 00:16:02,951 That's where I belong. 611 00:16:03,076 --> 00:16:04,870 No, Marshall. 612 00:16:04,994 --> 00:16:06,621 You're gonna be a lawyer. 613 00:16:06,747 --> 00:16:08,164 No, I can't do it. 614 00:16:08,289 --> 00:16:11,084 Yes, you can. Your first day 615 00:16:08,289 --> 00:16:11,084 back live on the air 616 00:16:11,209 --> 00:16:13,503 is gonna be legend... 617 00:16:11,209 --> 00:16:13,503 wait for it... 618 00:16:13,628 --> 00:16:14,713 dary! 619 00:16:14,838 --> 00:16:16,172 Your kindergarten field trip 620 00:16:16,297 --> 00:16:18,466 to the jackhammer and 621 00:16:16,297 --> 00:16:18,466 siren museum today... 622 00:16:19,426 --> 00:16:21,636 is gonna be legendary. 623 00:16:21,762 --> 00:16:23,054 No, it's not. 624 00:16:23,179 --> 00:16:25,098 Nothing's ever gonna 625 00:16:23,179 --> 00:16:25,098 be legendary again. 626 00:16:25,223 --> 00:16:27,308 I-I'm never gonna 627 00:16:25,223 --> 00:16:27,308 recover from this. 628 00:16:27,434 --> 00:16:28,727 It's just a hangover, Ted. 629 00:16:28,852 --> 00:16:30,061 Not that! 630 00:16:30,186 --> 00:16:32,313 I got left at the altar, Barney. 631 00:16:32,439 --> 00:16:36,067 I'm now a guy 632 00:16:32,439 --> 00:16:36,067 who got left at the altar. 633 00:16:36,192 --> 00:16:38,528 There's no coming back 634 00:16:36,192 --> 00:16:38,528 from that. 635 00:16:38,653 --> 00:16:40,864 Drink this. 636 00:16:40,989 --> 00:16:44,158 You're gonna be okay. 637 00:16:44,284 --> 00:16:46,912 Barney made up the Stinson's 638 00:16:44,284 --> 00:16:46,912 Hangover Fixer Elixir 639 00:16:47,036 --> 00:16:49,205 so we would all believe 640 00:16:47,036 --> 00:16:49,205 that we could rally. 641 00:16:49,330 --> 00:16:52,375 I mean, even though it's fake, 642 00:16:49,330 --> 00:16:52,375 it-it worked. 643 00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:53,835 Like-like Dumbo's feather. 644 00:16:53,961 --> 00:16:55,879 Dum-bro's feather. 645 00:16:56,004 --> 00:16:56,922 A placebo. 646 00:16:57,046 --> 00:16:58,632 Place-bro. 647 00:16:58,757 --> 00:16:59,716 A sugar pill. 648 00:17:01,259 --> 00:17:02,677 I... 649 00:17:02,803 --> 00:17:04,721 He lied so we'd be okay. 650 00:17:04,846 --> 00:17:06,139 Hmm. 651 00:17:06,264 --> 00:17:08,475 Barney does love us. 652 00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:11,686 I wish we could help him out 653 00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:11,686 the way he helped us. 654 00:17:11,812 --> 00:17:13,855 But the wedding photos 655 00:17:11,812 --> 00:17:13,855 are in 20 minutes. 656 00:17:13,981 --> 00:17:15,899 My dad's gonna be so pissed. 657 00:17:16,024 --> 00:17:17,275 Yup. 658 00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:19,569 Barney's a dead man. 659 00:17:32,457 --> 00:17:33,541 Barney? 660 00:17:33,667 --> 00:17:34,918 You were always a bit... 661 00:17:35,043 --> 00:17:37,295 chatty and blond 662 00:17:37,420 --> 00:17:38,964 for my taste. Like a woman. 663 00:17:39,088 --> 00:17:41,675 But this new side of you... 664 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:42,926 quiet, 665 00:17:43,051 --> 00:17:44,260 steady? 666 00:17:44,385 --> 00:17:46,304 I like it! 667 00:17:46,429 --> 00:17:49,599 You've earned my 668 00:17:46,429 --> 00:17:49,599 respect today, son. 669 00:17:49,724 --> 00:17:50,809 I request the highest of fives. 670 00:17:50,934 --> 00:17:52,268 Oh, no. 671 00:17:50,934 --> 00:17:52,268 Stay cool. 672 00:17:52,393 --> 00:17:55,772 I got this. 673 00:18:01,152 --> 00:18:02,654 I don't believe this. 674 00:18:02,779 --> 00:18:04,364 You did Weekend at Barney's. 675 00:18:04,489 --> 00:18:05,699 And it worked. 676 00:18:05,824 --> 00:18:08,869 God, today's gonna be 677 00:18:05,824 --> 00:18:08,869 all downhill from here. 678 00:18:08,994 --> 00:18:10,286 That's what the bride 679 00:18:08,994 --> 00:18:10,286 wants to hear. 680 00:18:10,411 --> 00:18:11,663 No, that's not what I meant. 681 00:18:11,788 --> 00:18:13,456 I just mean Weekend at Barney's 682 00:18:13,581 --> 00:18:16,209 is a thousand times more amazing 683 00:18:13,581 --> 00:18:16,209 than our wedding could ever be. 684 00:18:16,334 --> 00:18:19,295 I'm gonna get some more coffee. 685 00:18:16,334 --> 00:18:19,295 I can't wait to see the photos! 686 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:23,508 Well, he bought it. 687 00:18:23,633 --> 00:18:24,801 We lied out of love. 688 00:18:24,926 --> 00:18:26,094 Look how happy he is. 689 00:18:26,219 --> 00:18:27,679 I mean, he has no idea 690 00:18:26,219 --> 00:18:27,679 we had to cancel 691 00:18:27,804 --> 00:18:29,389 the wedding photos 692 00:18:27,804 --> 00:18:29,389 and my dad was so angry, 693 00:18:29,514 --> 00:18:31,641 he came up to our room 694 00:18:29,514 --> 00:18:31,641 and kicked Barney in the crotch. 695 00:18:31,766 --> 00:18:34,686 And the best part is 696 00:18:31,766 --> 00:18:34,686 your dad has no idea. 697 00:18:34,811 --> 00:18:36,396 He still loves me. 698 00:18:36,521 --> 00:18:39,566 Hey, do anyone else's 699 00:18:36,521 --> 00:18:39,566 balls hurt? 700 00:18:39,691 --> 00:18:40,984 And, look, 701 00:18:41,109 --> 00:18:42,027 some good came out of all this. 702 00:18:42,151 --> 00:18:43,570 Seeing you like that, 703 00:18:42,151 --> 00:18:43,570 we all vowed 704 00:18:43,695 --> 00:18:45,655 never to get that drunk again. 705 00:18:45,780 --> 00:18:47,156 Well, actually I didn't. 706 00:18:47,281 --> 00:18:48,449 But I will now. 707 00:18:48,575 --> 00:18:49,367 Never again. 708 00:18:49,492 --> 00:18:50,994 Never again. 709 00:18:49,492 --> 00:18:50,994 Never again. 710 00:18:49,492 --> 00:18:50,994 Never... Ow! 711 00:18:51,119 --> 00:18:52,871 Kids, no matter 712 00:18:51,119 --> 00:18:52,871 how hard we try, 713 00:18:52,996 --> 00:18:55,331 even the best of us go 714 00:18:52,996 --> 00:18:55,331 a little too wild sometimes. 715 00:18:55,456 --> 00:18:58,334 And in those moments, 716 00:18:55,456 --> 00:18:58,334 we all need 717 00:18:58,459 --> 00:19:01,046 someone who loves us 718 00:18:58,459 --> 00:19:01,046 to help us rally. 719 00:19:04,883 --> 00:19:07,010 Happy New Year. 720 00:19:04,883 --> 00:19:07,010 Okay. 721 00:19:07,135 --> 00:19:08,469 That was, that was way too loud. 722 00:19:08,595 --> 00:19:10,513 You're practically screaming. 723 00:19:10,638 --> 00:19:12,099 What you need 724 00:19:12,223 --> 00:19:14,851 is Stinson's 725 00:19:12,223 --> 00:19:14,851 Hangover Fixer Elixir. 726 00:19:14,976 --> 00:19:17,270 Even if that means lying 727 00:19:14,976 --> 00:19:17,270 once in a while. 728 00:19:17,395 --> 00:19:18,438 Does it work? 729 00:19:18,563 --> 00:19:20,148 Totally works. 730 00:19:23,401 --> 00:19:25,028 It's normal, 731 00:19:23,401 --> 00:19:25,028 it's totally normal. 732 00:19:28,531 --> 00:19:30,575 I love you so much. 733 00:19:30,700 --> 00:19:31,576 I love you, too. 734 00:19:31,701 --> 00:19:33,828 Whoop, whoop. 735 00:19:33,954 --> 00:19:34,955 Better drink it fast. 736 00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:36,081 Mommy! 737 00:19:36,205 --> 00:19:37,165 Hey, look who it is! 738 00:19:37,290 --> 00:19:38,499 Get her! 739 00:19:46,340 --> 00:19:47,383 I can't believe we kissed today. 740 00:19:47,508 --> 00:19:49,385 Weird. 741 00:19:49,510 --> 00:19:50,887 I-I feel kind of bad 742 00:19:51,012 --> 00:19:53,514 that, um, 743 00:19:51,012 --> 00:19:53,514 Ted and Marshall missed it. 744 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,809 Hey, we should kiss 745 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,809 one more time 746 00:19:55,934 --> 00:19:59,395 in front of them just to, 747 00:19:55,934 --> 00:19:59,395 like, blow their minds. 748 00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:01,064 Right? 749 00:20:01,189 --> 00:20:02,190 Nah, I don't think so. 750 00:20:02,315 --> 00:20:03,900 Exactly, totally. 751 00:20:04,025 --> 00:20:07,445 Ha-ha, guys, you don't get 752 00:20:04,025 --> 00:20:07,445 to see this kiss either. 753 00:20:07,570 --> 00:20:09,072 So, where should we go? 754 00:20:09,197 --> 00:20:11,032 Closet, patio? 755 00:20:11,158 --> 00:20:12,241 Ooh, I think the sauna's open. 756 00:20:12,366 --> 00:20:13,534 Well, I... actually... 757 00:20:13,660 --> 00:20:17,288 to be honest, 758 00:20:13,660 --> 00:20:17,288 it-it felt kind of weird to me. 759 00:20:17,413 --> 00:20:18,456 Once was enough. 760 00:20:18,581 --> 00:20:19,582 Totally. 761 00:20:19,707 --> 00:20:20,541 We could kiss. 762 00:20:20,667 --> 00:20:21,709 We could not kiss. 763 00:20:21,835 --> 00:20:23,211 We could kiss. 764 00:20:23,336 --> 00:20:24,629 Doesn't matter to me. 765 00:20:24,754 --> 00:20:27,215 It's stupid. I'm stupid. 766 00:20:30,259 --> 00:20:32,428 So stupid.