1 00:00:01,552 --> 00:00:02,801 No, dude. 2 00:00:02,853 --> 00:00:06,304 It's not... It's not a question of individual style. It's about having some taste. 3 00:00:06,356 --> 00:00:08,940 You're attacking my ability to express myself, dude. 4 00:00:08,992 --> 00:00:11,943 How am I attacking your ability to... I just don't get it. 5 00:00:11,995 --> 00:00:14,913 What's not to get? "Come to Philly for the crack." 6 00:00:14,965 --> 00:00:17,082 It has a picture of the Liberty Bell on it. Yeah, but... 7 00:00:17,134 --> 00:00:19,985 - It's funny and original. - It's not fun... How is it funny and original? 8 00:00:20,037 --> 00:00:23,385 Every asshole on South Street's wearing a T-shirt with an ironic slogan on it. 9 00:00:23,407 --> 00:00:27,907 Well, excuse me if all my T-shirts don't have a little guy playing polo on the lapel. 10 00:00:28,912 --> 00:00:30,695 You cut the sleeves off of all your T-shirts. 11 00:00:30,747 --> 00:00:33,164 What, so you can show off your tats? Those are really original, dude. 12 00:00:33,216 --> 00:00:36,668 - They're tribal. - They're trib... I'm sorry. What tribe are you from? 13 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:38,803 What? Is it, like, an Indian tribe or... Okay, okay, okay. 14 00:00:38,855 --> 00:00:41,640 You guys gonna let me in this game or what? No. You're the ref. 15 00:00:41,692 --> 00:00:44,342 I don't want to ref anymore. I'd like to play, so... You're an excellent ref. 16 00:00:44,394 --> 00:00:48,613 You're a very good ref. Yeah, I know. I'm a great ref. I'd like to play the game now. 17 00:00:48,665 --> 00:00:52,317 Are you gonna get mad? You gonna turn into the mad munchkin? What's the ma... 18 00:00:52,369 --> 00:00:54,630 Do you represent the Lollipop Guild, Charlie? Do you? 19 00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:05,311 That's a mad munchkin dance? Okay. This is what we do? I need to talk to you. 20 00:01:08,885 --> 00:01:11,286 It's about our son! 21 00:01:16,859 --> 00:01:19,828 Nobody wants to hear that. 22 00:01:48,124 --> 00:01:50,809 - So, wait, she's sayin' this is your son? - I don't know. 23 00:01:50,861 --> 00:01:52,944 Sounds like a bunch of bullshit to me, Charlie. I know! 24 00:01:52,996 --> 00:01:55,413 I know it. There's, like, no way that this is possible. 25 00:01:55,465 --> 00:01:59,250 Well, did you have sex with her? Yeah. 26 00:01:59,302 --> 00:02:01,086 Okay. Did you use birth control? 27 00:02:01,138 --> 00:02:03,354 Dee, we went to Catholic school, so... Okay. You're allowed... 28 00:02:03,406 --> 00:02:06,320 to have premarital sex, but you're not allowed to use birth control? 29 00:02:06,343 --> 00:02:09,794 No. All right. You're twisting words here and, like, gettin' cute. 30 00:02:09,846 --> 00:02:11,046 When did she have this kid? 31 00:02:11,047 --> 00:02:14,165 It's been, like, 10 years since I've even seen her, so... Ten years? 32 00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:16,134 What does she want? Well, that's... that's the weird thing. 33 00:02:16,186 --> 00:02:19,504 She doesn't want money or anything. She just wants me to meet him. 34 00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:20,371 Are you gonna do it? No. 35 00:02:20,423 --> 00:02:24,242 Well, dude, you gotta meet the kid. I mean, you gotta find out for sure. 36 00:02:24,294 --> 00:02:26,277 Yeah, I guess. It's just... 37 00:02:26,329 --> 00:02:30,815 I mean, I wish I could go back in time and do the right thing, you know? 38 00:02:30,867 --> 00:02:35,136 - Like be there for him? - No. Get her an abortion. 39 00:02:35,237 --> 00:02:39,737 So you're not allowed to use birth control, but abortions are no problem? 40 00:02:40,143 --> 00:02:42,227 All right. Okay. So now you're, like, a word genius. 41 00:02:42,279 --> 00:02:45,263 And everything I say, you twist it around and make me look dumb. 42 00:02:45,315 --> 00:02:48,533 Charlie's right though. He should have at least had a say in the matter. 43 00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:50,869 It's her body, and it's her decision. No, I'm sorry. 44 00:02:50,921 --> 00:02:53,104 It's not just her decision. The man should get a vote. 45 00:02:53,156 --> 00:02:56,274 - Okay. Well, ultimately it's her choice. - It is not just her choice. 46 00:02:56,326 --> 00:03:00,528 It's nobody's choice. It should be left up to God. 47 00:03:01,897 --> 00:03:03,148 Is he... Is that... Are you joking? 48 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:07,385 No, it's not a joke! You remember Genesis, Book Two, Verse Three? 49 00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:11,937 "And he breathed into the nostrils of Adam on the first day. And it was good." 50 00:03:12,075 --> 00:03:14,192 Right in his nostrils? Sounds really uncomfortable. 51 00:03:14,244 --> 00:03:17,595 You're making an asshole out of yourself. Dude, you need to get a blood test, okay? 52 00:03:17,647 --> 00:03:20,647 I remember Stacy Corvelli. She was a slut. You're right. You're right. 53 00:03:20,650 --> 00:03:23,301 Mac, what's God's stance on blood tests? 54 00:03:23,353 --> 00:03:26,988 I don't know. I'd have to check. 55 00:03:31,594 --> 00:03:33,411 All right, you feeling good? 56 00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:36,414 No. I feel nauseous. I think I'm gonna go. I'm gonna run. 57 00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:38,349 No, no, no. It's... I should go. 58 00:03:38,401 --> 00:03:40,051 Hi. Hey, Charlie. Hi. 59 00:03:40,103 --> 00:03:40,952 Hey. You brought your... 60 00:03:41,004 --> 00:03:45,089 Dennis Reynolds. We didn't get a chance to talk before, but I remember you. Yeah. 61 00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:47,292 You went to St. Giles? I did. Yeah. 62 00:03:47,344 --> 00:03:49,027 With... Yeah. 63 00:03:49,079 --> 00:03:51,880 So you two are together now, or... 64 00:03:52,348 --> 00:03:53,631 No. No. No. 65 00:03:53,683 --> 00:03:56,501 No. I'm just here for moral support. Yeah, we're not... 66 00:03:56,553 --> 00:03:58,436 That's not even a... 67 00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:00,605 I brought him along. Yeah. 68 00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:03,992 So... All right. Come on in. 69 00:04:07,730 --> 00:04:10,582 I'm real glad you decided to do this, Charlie. 70 00:04:10,634 --> 00:04:14,052 Yeah. Well, you know, it's the least I could do, so... 71 00:04:14,104 --> 00:04:17,355 Yeah. Sorry I don't have a lot of time. I gotta get to work. 72 00:04:17,407 --> 00:04:19,824 Tommy, come on in here, Son! 73 00:04:19,876 --> 00:04:22,327 What do you want, Mom? 74 00:04:22,379 --> 00:04:24,128 He's a bit of a handful. 75 00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:26,564 Charlie and his friend are here. 76 00:04:26,616 --> 00:04:28,533 So goddamn what? 77 00:04:28,585 --> 00:04:31,002 Tommy, come in here, please! 78 00:04:31,054 --> 00:04:32,503 This is bullshit. 79 00:04:32,555 --> 00:04:35,373 - Whoa! - Language, please. 80 00:04:35,425 --> 00:04:38,188 Which one of you fags is supposed to be my dad? 81 00:04:38,214 --> 00:04:39,143 Whoa, hello. 82 00:04:39,195 --> 00:04:41,246 Right off the bat with the... Yeah. 83 00:04:41,298 --> 00:04:45,049 Tommy, be nice. This is Charlie. 84 00:04:45,101 --> 00:04:48,019 Are you serious? This is the guy? 85 00:04:48,071 --> 00:04:50,054 What's that... What's that supposed to mean, buddy? 86 00:04:50,106 --> 00:04:53,591 Okay. Well, I should be home around 8:00. What do you guys have planned? 87 00:04:53,643 --> 00:04:57,128 - I thought we'd go to the park. - That sounds nice. 88 00:04:57,180 --> 00:04:59,397 Wanna go to the park, Tommy? I don't care. 89 00:04:59,449 --> 00:05:03,001 Okay. That's great. Bye, sweetie. 90 00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:06,004 Have fun, boys. 91 00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:08,606 I'm not goin' to the park. 92 00:05:08,658 --> 00:05:10,725 No shit. 93 00:05:12,529 --> 00:05:13,578 What is this place? 94 00:05:13,630 --> 00:05:18,049 This is a place where we're gonna go see a special friend of mine. 95 00:05:18,101 --> 00:05:21,619 Why? 'Cause he's gonna help us figure something very important out. 96 00:05:21,671 --> 00:05:23,554 It's gonna be good to know. Why? 97 00:05:23,606 --> 00:05:27,058 Because I said so. No more questions, okay, buddy? Why? 98 00:05:27,110 --> 00:05:28,310 Stop saying "why." Why? 99 00:05:28,311 --> 00:05:29,761 Stop it. I don't like this game. Why? Why? 100 00:05:29,813 --> 00:05:32,330 Is this a game? This is your game? Why? Why? 101 00:05:32,382 --> 00:05:34,666 Hey, pretty boy. 102 00:05:34,718 --> 00:05:36,467 What you here for? 103 00:05:36,519 --> 00:05:40,438 My friend's gettin' a... blood test. 104 00:05:40,490 --> 00:05:42,073 Your boyfriend? 105 00:05:42,125 --> 00:05:45,376 No. He's not my... He's not my boyfriend. 106 00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:47,178 He got AIDS? 107 00:05:47,230 --> 00:05:49,347 I don't... I don't think so. 108 00:05:49,399 --> 00:05:51,549 Do you? No, I don't. 109 00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:54,502 I'll blow you for $10. 110 00:05:56,706 --> 00:06:00,191 You know what? Let me consult some of this free literature... 111 00:06:00,243 --> 00:06:02,293 they got here regarding that proposition. 112 00:06:02,345 --> 00:06:03,545 You know what? 113 00:06:03,546 --> 00:06:07,198 According to this, that's not really a good idea. So I'm gonna have to pass. 114 00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:09,367 But thanks. I appreciate it. Really nice of you. 115 00:06:09,419 --> 00:06:11,602 He's playin' mind games, dude. I wanna leave. 116 00:06:11,654 --> 00:06:13,504 Hey, it's tough. What are we doin' here? 117 00:06:13,556 --> 00:06:16,556 Don't answer that. It's a trick question. He tries to get in your head. 118 00:06:16,593 --> 00:06:19,143 It's a little game he plays. No, let... let me answer the question. 119 00:06:19,195 --> 00:06:22,369 See, we're at a free clinic, Tommy. Charlie doesn't have health insurance. 120 00:06:22,399 --> 00:06:24,415 See this lady back here? Take a look. 121 00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:28,967 That's what you get when you don't have health insurance. 122 00:06:30,139 --> 00:06:32,223 I wanna go to the mall! Keep your voice down. 123 00:06:32,275 --> 00:06:34,092 I wanna go to the mall! Keep your voice... 124 00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:35,493 I wanna go to the mall! Stop yelling... 125 00:06:35,545 --> 00:06:38,196 I wanna go to the... Stop your yelling. We need to... 126 00:06:38,248 --> 00:06:40,665 He's biting my hand! He's biting my hand! Come on. 127 00:06:40,717 --> 00:06:43,384 Let's go. Let's go. 128 00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:47,538 Sacred Right. It's a child, not a choice.- 129 00:06:47,590 --> 00:06:52,090 All righty. I'll make sure he gets the message. Thank you. 130 00:06:52,228 --> 00:06:52,577 Hi. Hi. 131 00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:55,546 So I was having an argument with some friends the other day.- 132 00:06:55,598 --> 00:06:58,583 And I was wondering if you could help me out with some information. 133 00:06:58,635 --> 00:07:00,785 Are you interested in joining our cause? No. 134 00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:04,389 No. Actually, just looking for some info on the Bible, Jesus, that kind of thing. 135 00:07:04,441 --> 00:07:08,092 Well, if you join our mailing list, the reverend... Okay, listen to me. 136 00:07:08,144 --> 00:07:11,496 I don't really wanna join your little freak show. Just looking for some information. 137 00:07:11,548 --> 00:07:14,288 So if you could point me in the right direction, that'd be great. 138 00:07:14,317 --> 00:07:16,709 Well, we have some literature... Great. Thank you. Thanks. 139 00:07:16,719 --> 00:07:20,254 on the display back by the water cooler. 140 00:07:25,327 --> 00:07:27,445 Mama. 141 00:07:27,497 --> 00:07:29,213 Hey, there. Hi. 142 00:07:29,265 --> 00:07:32,216 Hey. Are you here to sign up for the rally? 143 00:07:32,268 --> 00:07:33,317 Yes, I am. Great. 144 00:07:33,369 --> 00:07:36,387 Yeah, real excited about the rally. We're gonna kick ass this time. 145 00:07:36,439 --> 00:07:40,939 Well, I'm ready to kick somebody's ass, I'll tell you what. I hate those bastards. 146 00:07:41,311 --> 00:07:42,660 Wow! That's... 147 00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:45,563 Hate's a very strong word. Yeah. 148 00:07:45,615 --> 00:07:48,900 Yeah, well, let me tell you something, Megan. 149 00:07:48,952 --> 00:07:52,236 I hate dead baby fetuses, you know? 150 00:07:52,288 --> 00:07:55,473 I hate them because they're dead, and they shouldn't be. 151 00:07:55,525 --> 00:07:59,310 They should be alive, and they should be loved. 152 00:07:59,362 --> 00:08:01,746 Wow! 153 00:08:01,798 --> 00:08:05,683 You just... You seem really passionate. Yeah. 154 00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:08,436 More than you know. 155 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:15,460 Nice kid, Charlie. What the hell do you think is wrong with that kid? 156 00:08:15,512 --> 00:08:18,396 You've gotta get that blood test, dude. 157 00:08:18,448 --> 00:08:22,266 - Die! Die! Die! - No! Hey! Whoa, Tommy! No! 158 00:08:22,318 --> 00:08:24,535 No! No! No! Give me the stick! Give me the stick! 159 00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:26,537 Come on! This place sucks! I wanna go to the mall! 160 00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:29,574 We can't go to the mall, all right? Shut up! I'm the boss of you! 161 00:08:29,626 --> 00:08:32,910 You're not the boss of me! I am the boss! I wanna go to the mall! 162 00:08:32,962 --> 00:08:35,880 I'll show you who's the boss of who. Let's go to the mall! 163 00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:38,549 You wanna go to the mall? I wanna go to the mall! 164 00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,718 You could ask nice. Dennis, let's go. We're goin' to the mall. 165 00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:42,983 I'm not spending any more time with that kid. 166 00:08:43,009 --> 00:08:44,455 Come on, dude! Fine. Great. 167 00:08:44,507 --> 00:08:48,326 Dee... Dee, will you just... Can we go to the mall? Will you drive me? 168 00:08:48,378 --> 00:08:51,796 I guess, if Dennis watches the bar. That's fine. 169 00:08:51,848 --> 00:08:54,682 Great. Fine. Thank you. 170 00:08:58,587 --> 00:09:00,271 You're ugly. You're ugly. 171 00:09:00,323 --> 00:09:01,606 You're ugly! You are the one that's ugly! 172 00:09:01,658 --> 00:09:05,309 Charlie! Jesus Christ! Are you almost 30? Are you almost 30 years old? 173 00:09:05,361 --> 00:09:06,844 Yes! You have to buy me a toy! 174 00:09:06,896 --> 00:09:09,614 I don't have to buy you shit. If you don't buy me anything, 175 00:09:09,666 --> 00:09:12,316 I'm gonna tell my mom you took me to a black people's house. 176 00:09:12,368 --> 00:09:15,353 Okay. Wow! My God, that's racist. What do you say to that? 177 00:09:15,405 --> 00:09:18,606 I don't say anything. You still have to buy me a toy! 178 00:09:21,777 --> 00:09:24,695 Charlie, what in the hell are you gonna do if this kid's yours? 179 00:09:24,747 --> 00:09:27,532 I don't know. I'll probably, kill myself. 180 00:09:27,584 --> 00:09:30,935 Whoa! Isn't that your waitress from the coffee shop? 181 00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:32,770 Cool. Stewie. 182 00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:34,805 My God. Go talk to her. 183 00:09:34,857 --> 00:09:36,641 What? No. Come on. Go talk to her. 184 00:09:36,693 --> 00:09:38,576 No, dude. You've been in love with this girl forever. 185 00:09:38,628 --> 00:09:42,413 I know that. You know what? Come with me and pretend you're my girlfriend. 186 00:09:42,465 --> 00:09:44,482 It'll make her jealous. No. I won't do that. 187 00:09:44,534 --> 00:09:46,450 Come on. It's gonna work. No. No, it's not. 188 00:09:46,502 --> 00:09:48,319 All right. Come stand next to me then. Why? 189 00:09:48,371 --> 00:09:50,676 So she doesn't think I'm creepy. Well, you are creepy. 190 00:09:50,707 --> 00:09:54,859 I realize this. That's why I need you. All right. Let's go. 191 00:09:54,911 --> 00:09:56,627 Thank you. Stop sweating. 192 00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:59,330 Then we can grab him if you like him, okay? 193 00:09:59,382 --> 00:10:01,499 Hey. Fancy seeing you here. 194 00:10:01,551 --> 00:10:03,918 Hello, Charlie. 195 00:10:04,486 --> 00:10:06,904 Buying toys, are you? 196 00:10:06,956 --> 00:10:08,005 Yeah. 197 00:10:08,057 --> 00:10:12,376 Cool. This is my... Friend. We're good friends. 198 00:10:12,428 --> 00:10:12,777 Hi. Hi. 199 00:10:12,829 --> 00:10:16,564 - Is that cute little girl your... - I'm her big sister. 200 00:10:18,501 --> 00:10:21,369 That's weird. She looks Mexican. 201 00:10:21,503 --> 00:10:25,289 She is Mexican. It's the Big Sister program. She's not my real little sister. 202 00:10:25,341 --> 00:10:29,727 That is such a coincidence. That's exactly what we're here doing. 203 00:10:29,779 --> 00:10:31,963 What? Yeah. Do you see that, um, 204 00:10:32,015 --> 00:10:35,066 adorable little guy over there? 205 00:10:35,118 --> 00:10:37,935 That's Charlie's little brother. 206 00:10:37,987 --> 00:10:39,437 Really? 207 00:10:39,489 --> 00:10:42,573 - Yeah. - No way. You're involved in the program? 208 00:10:42,625 --> 00:10:43,608 Yeah! 209 00:10:43,660 --> 00:10:46,356 Well, that's... I didn't know you were involved in the program. 210 00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:48,813 I love the program! It's one of his favorite programs. 211 00:10:48,865 --> 00:10:51,716 Yeah. I've... I've been in the program since... A long time now. 212 00:10:51,768 --> 00:10:55,987 I guess you're gonna be going to the picnic then at Fairmount Park. 213 00:10:56,039 --> 00:10:56,687 Right. Saturday? 214 00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:59,924 Saturday. Yeah. Are you there? Are you goin'? Are you gonna be there? 215 00:10:59,976 --> 00:11:01,792 I will be there on Saturday, yes. Great. 216 00:11:01,844 --> 00:11:03,761 Maybe we'll see you there. Maybe. Or you know what? 217 00:11:03,813 --> 00:11:07,331 Or... maybe we could carpool. You know what I mean? Carpool? 218 00:11:07,383 --> 00:11:09,533 Yeah. Well, come on. Think about it. We'll save the environment. 219 00:11:09,585 --> 00:11:12,403 We'll team up. It'll be good. This is smart. Reduce, reuse, recycle. 220 00:11:12,455 --> 00:11:15,506 You should do it. The kids will love it. The kids... 221 00:11:15,558 --> 00:11:17,608 He loves Mexicans. 222 00:11:17,660 --> 00:11:19,910 All right. 223 00:11:19,962 --> 00:11:22,730 Sure. Let's do it. 224 00:11:23,365 --> 00:11:25,716 Okay. Yeah. Great. 225 00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:28,319 Great. Okay, well... Nice to meet you too. I'll see you. 226 00:11:28,371 --> 00:11:31,555 I gotta go get my little sister. Okay, bye. Bye. 227 00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:35,500 Thank you. You're still pretty sweaty. 228 00:11:38,714 --> 00:11:43,214 Baby killer! Baby killer! Baby killer! 229 00:11:43,553 --> 00:11:46,004 You bastards are gonna burn in hell! 230 00:11:46,056 --> 00:11:50,174 Abortion is murder! It's a child, not a choice! 231 00:11:50,226 --> 00:11:52,176 Pro-choice is pro-death! 232 00:11:52,228 --> 00:11:53,945 Wow! Great rhetoric. 233 00:11:53,997 --> 00:11:55,513 Thank you. Hey, you're really hard-core, aren't you? 234 00:11:55,565 --> 00:11:58,650 Well, you know. I mean, if you really wanna see hard-core... 235 00:11:58,702 --> 00:12:02,654 What's this? That's the list of doctors I'm gonna kill. 236 00:12:02,706 --> 00:12:07,206 There's two already crossed out. Yeah, I know. 237 00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:18,336 So you really had a good time? Yeah. We had a blast. 238 00:12:18,388 --> 00:12:21,072 He didn't give you any problems? No. Not a single problem. 239 00:12:21,124 --> 00:12:25,360 Listen, I was thinking maybe I could take him out this Saturday? 240 00:12:26,228 --> 00:12:29,647 Really? Yeah, sure. I'd pick him up at, like, 8:00? 241 00:12:29,699 --> 00:12:30,715 You know, do the father-son thing. 242 00:12:30,767 --> 00:12:35,267 Are you all right? Is that gonna be okay? Because I could really use... use him. 243 00:12:35,338 --> 00:12:37,488 Goddamn it! I'm sorry. Is everything all right? 244 00:12:37,540 --> 00:12:41,676 I can't do this! Tommy's not your son. 245 00:12:42,144 --> 00:12:44,162 What? Remember Jimmy Doyle from high school? 246 00:12:44,214 --> 00:12:48,132 That son of a bitch is Tommy's real father. He left me six months ago. 247 00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:50,335 You know what a nightmare it's been since he left? I don't care. 248 00:12:50,387 --> 00:12:54,505 I can't raise Tommy alone. I don't care! You thought you'd just pawn your son off on me? 249 00:12:54,557 --> 00:12:59,057 What else? I thought I could find him a better role model than that piece of shit! 250 00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:02,647 Stop talking! Wait. Let me think. 251 00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:07,199 God! All right. So can I still take him out on Saturday? 252 00:13:08,671 --> 00:13:11,239 Yeah. Great. 253 00:13:11,807 --> 00:13:15,159 That's pretty thin. That might be too thin. Hey! 254 00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:18,363 Hey, Mac. Where you been? I don't know. Saving humanity. 255 00:13:18,415 --> 00:13:20,765 Are you still on this kick, dude? Yeah, you know, Den, 256 00:13:20,817 --> 00:13:23,334 I was thinking what you were saying the other day... 257 00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:25,603 about the T-shirts with the stupid slogans on them. 258 00:13:25,655 --> 00:13:28,272 And I was wondering what you think about this? 259 00:13:28,324 --> 00:13:31,042 Bitch? Yeah! Is that stupid enough for you? 260 00:13:31,094 --> 00:13:33,077 You're not seriously wearing that, are you? You look ridiculous. 261 00:13:33,129 --> 00:13:36,614 Whatever, dude. You know, that's the problem with you anti-abortionists. 262 00:13:36,666 --> 00:13:39,550 You cry about the sanctity of life, and then you wear a shirt like that. 263 00:13:39,602 --> 00:13:43,654 - I'm not listening to you. - Aren't you right-wingers all about the death penalty too? 264 00:13:43,706 --> 00:13:46,691 - Does that not involve killing somebody? - Right, right, right. 265 00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:48,793 And you liberals are against killing murderers. 266 00:13:48,845 --> 00:13:50,561 But you're for killing innocent babies. That's interesting. 267 00:13:50,613 --> 00:13:51,968 Yeah. We like to kill babies. 268 00:13:51,994 --> 00:13:54,132 You guys are taking this way too seriously. 269 00:13:54,184 --> 00:13:55,767 Den, you don't understand the week I've been having. 270 00:13:55,819 --> 00:13:58,836 I met a girl at one of these organizations who is a freak. 271 00:13:58,888 --> 00:14:00,638 She is the dirtiest chick I've met in my life. 272 00:14:00,690 --> 00:14:03,808 Seriously? Yeah. You gotta come with me to one of these rallies. 273 00:14:03,860 --> 00:14:08,360 They're having another one on Saturday. These chicks are everywhere. 274 00:14:08,565 --> 00:14:10,681 I can jump on board with that. Yeah! 275 00:14:10,733 --> 00:14:15,233 Are you actually gonna throw away all your convictions for a chance to get laid? 276 00:14:15,538 --> 00:14:18,423 I don't really have any convictions. 277 00:14:18,475 --> 00:14:19,823 Where is this rally being held? 278 00:14:19,843 --> 00:14:22,093 Planned Parenthood, Bryn Mawr Medical Center. 279 00:14:22,145 --> 00:14:25,396 Well, I'm gonna go. At least one pro-choice voice is gonna be heard. 280 00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:28,232 One? There was, like, tons of those chicks at the last one. 281 00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:32,103 - Which side had more? - Which one do you think? 282 00:14:32,155 --> 00:14:34,272 The one that cares about protecting women's bodies... 283 00:14:34,324 --> 00:14:37,658 or the one that's run by the religious right? 284 00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:40,211 Probably the side you're goin' to. 285 00:14:40,263 --> 00:14:42,547 I'm gonna fight for the right to choose. 286 00:14:42,599 --> 00:14:45,766 You're a scumbag, Dennis. 287 00:14:50,205 --> 00:14:52,757 Today's a big day for me, Tommy. Why? 288 00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:54,698 Well, today is probably the best chance I'm 289 00:14:54,724 --> 00:14:56,861 ever gonna have of hooking up with this girl. 290 00:14:56,913 --> 00:15:00,198 So, look at me for a second, pal. Okay, do me a favor. 291 00:15:00,250 --> 00:15:01,732 If you're good today, I'm gonna buy you... 292 00:15:01,784 --> 00:15:05,153 anything that you want, anything in the world, all right? 293 00:15:06,388 --> 00:15:08,239 My God! 294 00:15:08,291 --> 00:15:12,693 I will smash your face into a... into a jelly! 295 00:15:15,497 --> 00:15:16,581 Wrong key. 296 00:15:16,633 --> 00:15:20,551 Keep abortion legal! Keep abortion legal! 297 00:15:20,603 --> 00:15:24,355 Stop abortion now! Stop abortion now! 298 00:15:24,407 --> 00:15:25,456 This is crazy. 299 00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:29,727 Yeah, weird. People actually care about women's bodies. You believe that? 300 00:15:29,779 --> 00:15:31,762 Yeah. I think Mac picked the wrong side. 301 00:15:31,814 --> 00:15:35,216 There's, like, no dudes here. Gross. 302 00:15:35,350 --> 00:15:38,519 You know what? Give me a second here. 303 00:15:41,924 --> 00:15:44,408 Hi. Hi. 304 00:15:44,460 --> 00:15:46,577 I like your look. Excuse me? 305 00:15:46,629 --> 00:15:48,813 I like the whole hippie thing. 306 00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:50,681 It really works for you. 307 00:15:50,733 --> 00:15:55,233 Get lost, breeder. Okay. 308 00:15:57,707 --> 00:16:00,208 Yeah. 309 00:16:00,442 --> 00:16:04,562 I love the smell of protest in the morning. What? 310 00:16:04,614 --> 00:16:07,875 I was quoting that movie, you know, Apocalypse Now. "Napalm in the morning." 311 00:16:07,917 --> 00:16:10,868 Is that the new Mel Gibson movie? No. 312 00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:15,356 Did you see Passion of the Christ? I saw it 12 times. 313 00:16:16,992 --> 00:16:19,860 Okay. 314 00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:25,396 You know, you really shouldn't joke about the Apocalypse. 315 00:16:27,436 --> 00:16:30,922 So just fill these out. We'll get your information in the mail. 316 00:16:30,974 --> 00:16:32,557 Thanks. 317 00:16:32,609 --> 00:16:34,625 "Keep your laws"... I like your T-shirt. 318 00:16:34,677 --> 00:16:36,861 Thanks. Yeah. Where do I sign? 319 00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:40,598 Right here. Love T-shirts like that. 320 00:16:40,650 --> 00:16:41,866 Right. 321 00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:45,002 So, do you come to these kind of things often, or... 322 00:16:45,054 --> 00:16:48,573 Are you hitting on me at an abortion rally? 323 00:16:48,625 --> 00:16:50,858 Yeah, I... 324 00:16:55,063 --> 00:16:57,715 You know what? I think all these chicks are gay. 325 00:16:57,767 --> 00:16:59,517 Yeah, I don't know that they're gay. 326 00:16:59,569 --> 00:17:02,286 I think they can just smell how disgusting you are. 327 00:17:02,338 --> 00:17:05,039 That sucks for me. 328 00:17:09,044 --> 00:17:10,761 Hello. 329 00:17:10,813 --> 00:17:12,230 Hey, Mac. It's Dennis. 330 00:17:12,282 --> 00:17:15,299 Look, man, there's no talent over here. What's the deal over there? 331 00:17:15,351 --> 00:17:18,336 Yeah. We're lookin' real good over here, bro. 332 00:17:18,388 --> 00:17:21,839 What do you think? Hop the fence and come over. 333 00:17:21,891 --> 00:17:24,342 All right. I'll see you in a second. 334 00:17:24,394 --> 00:17:25,910 Later, gator. 335 00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:29,330 All right, Megan. I'm finished. 336 00:17:30,399 --> 00:17:33,734 You are a genius. 337 00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:38,823 Hey, Sis. I'm gonna jet. 338 00:17:38,875 --> 00:17:41,659 You're leaving? This side sucks. 339 00:17:41,711 --> 00:17:43,728 I'm gonna try my luck over there. 340 00:17:43,780 --> 00:17:46,264 Are you kidding me? Later, tater. 341 00:17:46,316 --> 00:17:48,966 Dennis, you are such a jackass! 342 00:17:49,018 --> 00:17:51,302 Excuse me. Excuse me. 343 00:17:51,354 --> 00:17:54,088 Yeah. Can I get by here? Thanks. 344 00:17:55,558 --> 00:17:59,610 I just... I really love that sign. I wondered that so many times. 345 00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:02,396 Hey, there's a guy on the fence. 346 00:18:04,099 --> 00:18:05,316 Hey! Hey! They're coming after us! 347 00:18:05,368 --> 00:18:09,654 No. They're not coming after us. I'll show you what we do to them. How's your aim? 348 00:18:09,706 --> 00:18:12,054 Pretty good. But I don't think that's such a good idea. 349 00:18:12,075 --> 00:18:15,843 I don't think... Hey, it's okay. These people deserve this. 350 00:18:17,413 --> 00:18:21,816 Yeah. He looks like he deserves it. Maybe just one. 351 00:18:23,953 --> 00:18:26,671 Yeah! Come on! Get your eggs, people! 352 00:18:26,723 --> 00:18:28,439 My God! 353 00:18:28,491 --> 00:18:32,376 Shit! They're throwing eggs! They did this last time. 354 00:18:32,428 --> 00:18:34,011 I came prepared. 355 00:18:34,063 --> 00:18:36,914 Hey, Dennis! How's the action over there, buddy? 356 00:18:36,966 --> 00:18:40,384 - What? What the hell are you doing? - They're coming... 357 00:18:40,436 --> 00:18:42,019 - Now they're coming back. - Die! 358 00:18:42,071 --> 00:18:45,773 Hey! Hot chicks on that side, Dennis? 359 00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:50,745 You're gonna burn in hell! 360 00:18:53,216 --> 00:18:55,733 Stop! Stop! Stop! 361 00:18:55,785 --> 00:18:58,536 Hey, guess what. I have a surprise for you. 362 00:18:58,588 --> 00:19:01,038 What? It's a real miracle. 363 00:19:01,090 --> 00:19:03,374 What is it? I'm pregnant! 364 00:19:03,426 --> 00:19:05,076 What? 365 00:19:05,128 --> 00:19:07,428 I'm pregnant! 366 00:19:09,464 --> 00:19:11,966 You gotta get an abortion. 367 00:19:13,001 --> 00:19:14,871 Megan, wait, wait, wait! Stop talking to me! 368 00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:16,520 Well, listen, I just think our situation is different. 369 00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:20,558 How is our situation different? Well, because I didn't mean to get you pregnant. 370 00:19:20,610 --> 00:19:21,692 It was an accident. You are so pathetic. 371 00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:24,257 You can't have this kid. I'm way too young, and 372 00:19:24,283 --> 00:19:26,664 I have a little bit of an alcohol problem... 373 00:19:26,716 --> 00:19:28,599 Save it! I'm not pregnant! What? 374 00:19:28,651 --> 00:19:30,601 I'm not pregnant. It was a test. 375 00:19:30,653 --> 00:19:33,938 I just thought for, like, one second that you might be the one. 376 00:19:33,990 --> 00:19:35,439 I just had to know for sure. 377 00:19:35,491 --> 00:19:37,875 Wait a second! So you're not pregnant? 378 00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:40,378 No. And this was a test? 379 00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:43,581 Yeah. And I failed? 380 00:19:43,633 --> 00:19:45,549 Have a nice life, asshole. 381 00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:48,636 No! Wait... Wait... Wait a second! Wait! 382 00:19:51,540 --> 00:19:53,124 Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch! 383 00:19:53,176 --> 00:19:56,861 Where the hell have you been? You said 11:30, dude! I don't wanna talk about it. 384 00:19:56,913 --> 00:20:00,030 That waitress is picking me up any minute! I was ready to shut down the bar! 385 00:20:00,082 --> 00:20:03,467 - What is that kid doin' here? - I'm taking him to the Big Brother-Big Sister thing. 386 00:20:03,519 --> 00:20:06,911 Get him out of here, Charlie. I'm getting picked up any minute! Will you relax? 387 00:20:06,923 --> 00:20:10,508 I told you, I don't want kids in the bar! Dude, what is up your ass? 388 00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:15,045 You... You are out! Whoa, dude! This kid reeks of booze! 389 00:20:15,097 --> 00:20:17,948 No, no, no, no, no. Are you drunk? Don't be drunk. 390 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,116 Yeah. How could you let this happen? 391 00:20:19,168 --> 00:20:22,920 I was the only one bartending! He must have been takin' sips out of people's beers. 392 00:20:22,972 --> 00:20:24,955 All right. Brew some coffee. You can't give him coffee! 393 00:20:25,007 --> 00:20:29,507 Let go of that! Let go of that! Get him out of here, Charlie! 394 00:20:29,879 --> 00:20:32,213 Charlie! 395 00:20:32,948 --> 00:20:34,465 Okay, here we go! 396 00:20:34,517 --> 00:20:36,033 Fresh air! Have a seat! Sit down! Fresh air! 397 00:20:36,085 --> 00:20:38,869 You suck! You suck, all right? Breathe it in. Fresh air now. 398 00:20:38,921 --> 00:20:40,905 You suck and you have an ugly face! You suck! 399 00:20:40,957 --> 00:20:44,708 You have an ugly face, okay? You try and push people's buttons all the time! 400 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:46,911 And you get in their head, and you drive them crazy! 401 00:20:46,963 --> 00:20:50,748 Maybe that's why you don't have a dad anymore! My God! 402 00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:53,217 - What are you doing? - I'm drunk. 403 00:20:53,269 --> 00:20:55,486 He's drunk? He's not drunk. 404 00:20:55,538 --> 00:20:56,954 I am drunk! You're not drunk. 405 00:20:57,006 --> 00:20:58,989 He sounds drunk. I am drunk! 406 00:20:59,041 --> 00:21:02,193 You're not drunk! Stop saying that! 407 00:21:02,245 --> 00:21:04,211 He's fine. 408 00:21:15,257 --> 00:21:18,509 - Jimmy Doyle! - Yeah? 409 00:21:18,561 --> 00:21:21,045 Charlie Kelly. Yeah? 410 00:21:21,097 --> 00:21:23,914 From high school. Yeah. 411 00:21:23,966 --> 00:21:27,051 I didn't recognize you without all your acne. 412 00:21:27,103 --> 00:21:28,319 Yeah. 413 00:21:28,371 --> 00:21:31,722 All right, listen, I need to talk to you about your kid. Why? 414 00:21:31,774 --> 00:21:35,226 Let's see. Because your kid has serious emotional problems. Why? 415 00:21:35,278 --> 00:21:38,128 I don't know. Maybe because you're not there as a father. Why? 416 00:21:38,180 --> 00:21:40,094 You're kidding me? This your little game? Why? 417 00:21:40,116 --> 00:21:44,616 This is what you're doin'? This is what you're doin' to me? Why? 418 00:21:44,854 --> 00:21:46,987 Why?