1 00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:03,461 I am not laying grout. 2 00:00:03,544 --> 00:00:05,129 - You guys are being babies. - Babies. 3 00:00:05,213 --> 00:00:06,589 We're being babies, Mac? 4 00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:08,508 Why don't you go work for your dad all day? 5 00:00:08,591 --> 00:00:09,801 My dad's a meth dealer. 6 00:00:09,884 --> 00:00:12,720 "Oh, oh, no! My daddy's in prison!" 7 00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:15,390 "My daddy used to give hot shots to prostitutes. 8 00:00:15,473 --> 00:00:16,891 "Feel sorry for me!" 9 00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:19,560 - I got the grout. - Dad, you're not even listening to us. 10 00:00:19,644 --> 00:00:21,688 - Are you really leaving? - Yes! 11 00:00:21,771 --> 00:00:23,856 - Later, bitches. - Yeah, have a good life now. 12 00:00:23,940 --> 00:00:25,775 All right, look. I know what you're doin'. 13 00:00:25,858 --> 00:00:28,903 I can play this game. Mac and me and Charlie can run the bar. 14 00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:30,279 - Great. Terrific. - Great. 15 00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:31,698 - That's a good idea. - We got better things to do. 16 00:00:31,781 --> 00:00:33,533 Please. What are you two gonna do? 17 00:00:33,616 --> 00:00:35,994 Dee and I have a little something we like to call "goals," okay? 18 00:00:36,077 --> 00:00:38,788 - Weird, right? - We have aspirations outside of this bar. 19 00:00:38,871 --> 00:00:41,416 We got big dreams, Mac. We're gonna go follow 'em. 20 00:00:41,499 --> 00:00:43,459 You guys have nothing without this bar. 21 00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:46,296 Don't worry about us, Mac. We'll be just fine. 22 00:01:20,538 --> 00:01:22,498 - So what are your dreams? - Hmm? 23 00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:24,709 Your goals. What are your aspirations? 24 00:01:24,792 --> 00:01:27,795 - Were you serious about that? - Yeah! What are you doing? 25 00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:29,714 Signing us up for unemployment benefits. 26 00:01:29,797 --> 00:01:30,798 Unemployment? No. 27 00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:32,550 Dee, that's for deadbeats. Come on. 28 00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:35,345 We got a golden opportunity here. You know? 29 00:01:35,428 --> 00:01:37,472 We can do anything we want if we put our minds to it. 30 00:01:37,555 --> 00:01:41,309 Well, I guess I could use this time to get my acting career off the ground. 31 00:01:41,392 --> 00:01:42,727 - And I fully support you. - You do? 32 00:01:42,810 --> 00:01:44,854 Absolute. Look, the old Dennis would have said, 33 00:01:44,937 --> 00:01:48,232 "Dee, your sad little acting ship sailed a decade ago. 34 00:01:48,316 --> 00:01:49,359 "It's pathetic." 35 00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:53,029 But the new Dennis says that it's not my place to kill your pipe dreams. 36 00:01:53,112 --> 00:01:54,113 You should go for it. 37 00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:55,198 - Really? - Yes! 38 00:01:55,281 --> 00:01:57,075 Come on. This is America! 39 00:01:57,158 --> 00:01:58,785 We're gonna go for it! We're gonna work hard! 40 00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:00,119 We're gonna reach for the stars! 41 00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:02,080 We're gonna become more successful than our parents. 42 00:02:02,163 --> 00:02:03,915 - We can shove it in their faces. - Make 'em eat shit! 43 00:02:05,249 --> 00:02:06,876 - Oh, look, we qualified. - Really? How much? 44 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,711 $400 a week. 45 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,838 $400. That's more than we made at the bar. 46 00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:12,215 I know. 47 00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:16,970 Okay, new plan. 48 00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:19,138 - We're gonna go on unemployment. - Yeah. 49 00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:22,976 - That's what it's there for, right? - In the meantime, we will focus and… 50 00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:25,937 work hard and then keep our nose to the grindstone. 51 00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:28,439 Right? 52 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:30,400 Absolutely. 53 00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:35,071 - Ready? - Yeah. 54 00:02:35,154 --> 00:02:37,991 One, two, three. 55 00:02:41,786 --> 00:02:44,539 - God damn it! - Why can you not lift your end? 56 00:02:44,622 --> 00:02:46,874 I don't know, dude. Let me figure out what is happening. 57 00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:48,209 Are you lifting with your back? 58 00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:49,794 Of course I'm lifting with my back, okay? 59 00:02:49,877 --> 00:02:51,045 But I think your end is just lighter 60 00:02:51,129 --> 00:02:52,922 cause the balls have rolled down to this end. 61 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:55,008 No! You got to snap your back up and lift. 62 00:02:55,091 --> 00:02:57,010 I'm jerking my back up! What do you want from me? 63 00:02:57,093 --> 00:02:58,553 Hey, what's the ruckus? 64 00:02:58,636 --> 00:03:00,847 I'm trying to conduct important business back there. 65 00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:01,973 We finished with the tile, 66 00:03:02,056 --> 00:03:03,891 and now we're trying to move the pool table back. 67 00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:07,020 All right, all right, all right. Have you done the urinal? 68 00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:10,106 Because the urinal, you flush it, and it sprays all over the place. 69 00:03:10,189 --> 00:03:11,190 Yeah, I know. I know. 70 00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:13,484 Look, bro. You got to stop bossing us around, okay? 71 00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:15,361 I mean, look at Charlie. You're breaking his spirit. 72 00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:18,031 Look at me. I'm broken, dude. Look, I'm… 73 00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:21,117 You guys need a father figure. And I'm trying to be that father figure, 74 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,952 and someday you're gonna thank me for it. 75 00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:26,539 And that's all there is to it. Trust me. Trust me on that one. 76 00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:29,167 You're gonna thank me for it. 77 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,630 I don't want a father figure. 78 00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:36,758 Oh, baby, you 79 00:03:36,841 --> 00:03:40,053 You got what I need 80 00:03:40,136 --> 00:03:42,722 But you say he's just a friend 81 00:03:42,805 --> 00:03:44,599 But you say he's just a friend 82 00:03:44,682 --> 00:03:46,351 Oh, baby, you 83 00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:47,769 Come down just a little bit. 84 00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:49,395 He's not hitting it that high, you know? 85 00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:51,689 Oh, baby, you 86 00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:52,815 Now you should split the difference. 87 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,860 - You got to split the difference. - Yeah, split the difference. 88 00:03:55,943 --> 00:03:57,278 What the hell is this? 89 00:03:57,362 --> 00:04:00,448 Oh, living the dream, bro. Living the dream. 90 00:04:00,531 --> 00:04:03,117 I thought you two were out looking for careers or something. 91 00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:05,411 We are, man. We're just getting a little bit of assistance 92 00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:06,871 to help us out over the hump. 93 00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:10,083 This unemployment thing is so great, because we've made really big plans. 94 00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:12,377 - I'm gonna be a veterinarian. - Yeah. 95 00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:14,087 And I am gonna move to New York, 96 00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:15,672 - and I'm gonna be on Broadway. - Mm-hmm. 97 00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:19,384 What? It's 1:00 in the afternoon, and you're piss-ass drunk. 98 00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:21,469 Well, you know, it's a slow process, man. 99 00:04:21,552 --> 00:04:23,429 It takes a little time. But we trust the system. 100 00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:24,597 Is that a new watch, dude? 101 00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:26,891 - It is. It's awesome. Check it out. - Oh, and I got a Jesus chain. 102 00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:28,226 - It's good. Look at it. - All right, look, guys. 103 00:04:28,309 --> 00:04:30,728 We want you to come back to the bar, okay? 104 00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:32,188 Why in the hell would we do that? 105 00:04:32,271 --> 00:04:34,941 You're not even listening to me. Did you see my Jesus chain? 106 00:04:35,024 --> 00:04:36,067 I'm busting my ass in that bar, 107 00:04:36,150 --> 00:04:38,152 and you guys are sitting on the stoop getting drunk all day long? 108 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:40,905 What, this again? What, this again? 109 00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:43,741 - I have to work! - Cry for me. Cry for me. 110 00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:46,536 I don't know how to take advantage of government programs. 111 00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,329 Unemployment runs out, all right? 112 00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:51,332 And once it does, you guys are gonna be back out on your asses. 113 00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:54,002 Once it runs out, we're gonna go on welfare, dude. 114 00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:55,628 - Welfare? - Mmm-hmm. 115 00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:59,048 - You guys can't go on welfare. - Oh, really? 116 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:01,467 It's reserved for people who need it, you know? 117 00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:03,803 Like poor people who need some help… 118 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,264 It's set up to continue… 119 00:05:06,347 --> 00:05:07,974 Oh, baby, you 120 00:05:08,057 --> 00:05:10,226 It's not for over privileged pieces of shit 121 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,812 who want to waste millions of dollars in tax. 122 00:05:12,895 --> 00:05:15,523 You want to play this game? We gonna play this game now? 123 00:05:15,606 --> 00:05:17,734 But you say he's just a friend 124 00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:18,818 God damn you! 125 00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:19,902 Oh, baby, you 126 00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:20,987 God damn it! 127 00:05:21,070 --> 00:05:23,489 Got what I need 128 00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:26,868 Charlie, sign here, here and here. 129 00:05:26,951 --> 00:05:31,456 So, you're giving me all your money. 130 00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:34,208 Charlie, for the 500th time, 131 00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:36,711 I'm not giving it to you. It's not yours. 132 00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:40,506 I'm just setting up a temporary account in your name. 133 00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:43,760 What my wife can't find, she can't get. 134 00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:47,388 Right. This is good. This is shady, Frank. I like this kind of stuff. 135 00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:49,515 Yeah. But you will be handsomely rewarded 136 00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:51,809 if you just keep your hands off this money. 137 00:05:51,893 --> 00:05:55,188 Right, right. So what's the vig? 138 00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:57,649 - The vig? - Yeah, man. 139 00:05:57,732 --> 00:06:01,319 You know, what's the vig on this action here? 140 00:06:01,402 --> 00:06:04,739 Do you even know what vig means? 141 00:06:04,822 --> 00:06:07,241 Hey-oh! What's up, bitches? 142 00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:09,911 Get your gloves. I got a lot of grout work for you to do. 143 00:06:09,994 --> 00:06:11,079 Forget the grout. 144 00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:14,248 I have been doing a little research that will change our lives forever. 145 00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:17,251 Turns out there's a little program called Work for Welfare, 146 00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:21,214 in which businesses hire potential welfare recipients, 147 00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:23,216 the government subsidizes their wage, 148 00:06:23,299 --> 00:06:26,928 and the IRS affords thousands of dollars in tax relief. 149 00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:30,390 Oh, I don't know what you're saying. 150 00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:33,267 Dude, is that a question? I don't understand. What's going on? 151 00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:36,145 Don't you get it? We will never need Dennis and Dee again. 152 00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:37,647 We hire a couple people, 153 00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:41,609 pay them nothing, and get them to do all of our work for us! 154 00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:44,195 - We just pay them nothing? - We pay them nothing! 155 00:06:44,278 --> 00:06:46,114 - That's incredible. - It's incredible! 156 00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:47,490 What do you think, Frank? 157 00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:50,368 Well, if we're gonna do something like this, 158 00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:52,120 we got to make sure we don't abuse anybody. 159 00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:53,246 No. Oh, my God! 160 00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:54,789 I know what it's like to grow up poor, you know. 161 00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:56,291 We got to treat people with respect. 162 00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:59,294 Respect is the name of the game. Respect is number one! 163 00:06:59,377 --> 00:07:01,462 - It's the name of almost every game. - Absolutely. 164 00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:04,215 Because we understand the plight of the worker. 165 00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:05,300 The plight! 166 00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:08,136 - Respect. - Respect the plight. 167 00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:09,721 What do you think, Frank? 168 00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:14,100 I'm good. Go get us some slaves. 169 00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:22,233 No, dude. That's not what I'm saying. 170 00:07:22,317 --> 00:07:24,068 All I'm saying is that "slaves" 171 00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:25,820 - is not a racist term. - Shh! 172 00:07:25,903 --> 00:07:27,196 Look, dude, I'm… Okay, look. 173 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,073 I'm saying over the history of time, right? 174 00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:30,950 There have been slaves of many different races. 175 00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:32,452 There's been Jewish slaves. 176 00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:34,871 - I mean, uh, Italian, uh… - I recognize that, Charlie. 177 00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:36,456 But in this country, we have to understand 178 00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:37,957 that it is a sensitive issue, okay? 179 00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:41,169 - I understand that. - What about that one? He seems strong. 180 00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:43,588 - Look at those massive thighs. - Yeah, those are good thighs. 181 00:07:43,671 --> 00:07:45,882 Yeah, but you're gonna have a problem with work ethic. 182 00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:46,966 That's what I'm talking about. 183 00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:48,718 - You can't be saying things like that. - No, dude. 184 00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:51,387 I'm not saying that because he's black. He's asleep in his chair. 185 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:52,680 - You know, like what… - That's true. 186 00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:54,390 What about that one? 187 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,434 Don't just do that. I knew you were gonna do that. 188 00:07:56,517 --> 00:07:57,977 'Cause, why are you going to him? 189 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:02,774 That's like reverse affirmative action, dude. You don't want to do that. 190 00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:04,525 You could cheat yourself out of a good slave here, man. 191 00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:06,235 How do you know he's not gonna be a good slave? 192 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:07,362 Come on. 193 00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:10,073 You know what? This is so complicated and confusing. 194 00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:11,407 And, like, I don't even understand. 195 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:14,494 We got to talk to someone. Okay. Let's just talk to someone. 196 00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:17,997 Hello. Hi. 197 00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:20,792 We are here to sign up for the Work for Welfare Program. 198 00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,752 Yeah, my associate and I were just out on the floor. 199 00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:24,462 And we're looking for a suitable candidate. 200 00:08:24,545 --> 00:08:28,174 But the problem is it's really tough to tell just by eyeballing these people. 201 00:08:28,257 --> 00:08:29,550 So we were wondering, like, 202 00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:31,344 - do you have, like, a Facebook? - Yeah. 203 00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:32,428 Or anything that we can go over, 204 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,597 like their physical stats and, like, some kind of numbers… 205 00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:35,723 - Excuse me? - …like weight, power… 206 00:08:35,807 --> 00:08:38,643 You know, something to just expediate the whole process… 207 00:08:38,726 --> 00:08:40,103 It doesn't work that way. 208 00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:45,316 Why don't you read up on some of the program's stipulations? 209 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,318 Oh, that's big. 210 00:08:47,402 --> 00:08:48,611 - The Facebook? - No. 211 00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:51,739 Rules and Regulations. It's, uh, sort of a legal document. 212 00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:54,826 Now, is there any way around this? 213 00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:56,744 - None whatsoever. - Okay. 214 00:08:56,828 --> 00:08:58,913 - All right, well… - Thank you for your time. 215 00:08:58,997 --> 00:09:01,624 - We got this, so we'll read it. - Have a good one. 216 00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:02,959 - I'm not reading that. - No, I'm not reading this either. 217 00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:05,878 - We'll get Frank to do it. - Maybe get a slave to do it. 218 00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:07,922 Oh, look what the cat dragged in. 219 00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:09,799 Oh, well, look here. 220 00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:12,927 I see you've decided to steal our welfare idea. 221 00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:15,847 - I can't say I'm surprised. - We're not stealing your idea, okay? 222 00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:18,891 All right, let's all recognize that this is a little awkward situation 223 00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:20,893 between friends at the welfare store. 224 00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:22,353 Let's go our separate ways, okay? 225 00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:23,438 You guys can't get welfare! 226 00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:24,981 - Uh, yeah. We can. - No, you can't! 227 00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:26,941 They don't give it to any jackass that walks in here. 228 00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:28,234 It's reserved for people who need it, okay? 229 00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:30,987 - That's true, actually. - Drug addicts, mentally disabled, 230 00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:33,156 - people with… - Mac, we've got it covered, okay? 231 00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:35,783 Dee, your bicycle helmet. 232 00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:40,663 Later, boners. 233 00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:44,834 - That's an awesome helmet. - What? 234 00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:46,711 Go! Out! 235 00:09:46,794 --> 00:09:48,504 Hello. 236 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:51,257 Hi. Um, I'm a recovering crackhead. 237 00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:53,676 This is my retarded sister that I take care of. 238 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,012 I'd like some welfare, please. 239 00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:59,140 You're a recovering crack addict? 240 00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:02,560 - Yep. - Mmm-hmm. 241 00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:05,855 And she's mentally retarded? 242 00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:07,440 Oh, most definitely. 243 00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:10,360 You have the proper medical paperwork? 244 00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:13,321 Medical paperwork? 245 00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:14,947 We're gonna need a physician's report 246 00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:17,158 to confirm your sister's mental illness, 247 00:10:17,241 --> 00:10:20,328 and your blood work to confirm your… 248 00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:21,788 Crack addiction. 249 00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:27,710 Well, can't you see how retarded she is? 250 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,637 Lose the helmet, sis. 251 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,305 We can't prove that you're retarded. 252 00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:40,431 I want that welfare, Dennis. 253 00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:42,141 - I know you do. So do I. - No, you don't understand. 254 00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:44,310 I got a taste of my dream. I can't go back. 255 00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:45,853 I got to get to Broadway, and welfare's the key. 256 00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:48,523 - What do you wanna do? - Oh, they wanna play rough? 257 00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:49,983 We can play rough. 258 00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:51,734 Let's go buy some crack. 259 00:10:58,074 --> 00:10:59,575 Okay, thank you. 260 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,411 We're all set. Friday, 3:00. Full blood work. 261 00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,579 - Okay. We'll just smoke a little bit. - A little… A little bit. 262 00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:04,664 - Just enough to get into our system. - Yeah. 263 00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:06,958 Yeah, and then we'll go to the doctor, we'll get all of our paperwork, 264 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:08,167 - and we'll get full benefits. - Yeah. 265 00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:10,586 Then we'll collect for just a little while until we get settled. 266 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,005 - And then I'll take the MCATs. - Uh-hmm. 267 00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:13,506 And I'll move to New York. Perfect. 268 00:11:13,589 --> 00:11:15,174 Oh, my God! 269 00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:17,302 - Oh, Jesus! - Oh, wow, you scared us. 270 00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:19,095 Oh, not 'cause you're black. No, no, no. 271 00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:20,847 - No, we're not racist. - No, no, no, no. God, no. 272 00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:21,931 No. It's just that the neighborhood is scary. 273 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,016 If you were another ethnicity… 274 00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:25,059 - You… You really did pop up. - Yeah. But it's a nice neighborhood. 275 00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:26,185 - No, the trees are… - I mean, it's okay. 276 00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:27,395 It's the nature of this. 277 00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:29,605 Roll your window down. 278 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:30,773 Okay. 279 00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:36,696 - What you need? - Uh, one, please. 280 00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:38,656 One what? 281 00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:41,701 - Uh, one rock of crack. - One crack. 282 00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:43,453 A crack rock. Is that enough? 283 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,663 Is one crack rock enough? See, I don't… 284 00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:48,124 How much would you recommend for a first-time user? 285 00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:52,337 Tell you what. I'll make you a deal. 286 00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:55,131 Two for the price of one. 287 00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:57,550 - Really? - Oh, that sounds good. 288 00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:59,385 - Oh. Well, that's very nice of you. - How much? 289 00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,972 Uh, $200? 290 00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:07,685 - Okay. Uh-huh. - Sounds reasonable. Great. 291 00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:09,979 Okay. Let's see here, uh… 292 00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:14,442 That should be about 200. 293 00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:16,486 - Thanks for being so kind. - Mmm-hmm. 294 00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:21,115 And patient. 295 00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:25,203 Pick it up down there. 296 00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:27,038 - Wait. Where? - Which… 297 00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:30,208 This one. It's got to be that guy. 298 00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,210 Don't say "this one." 299 00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:37,256 Great. Now, Maria, after you're done in the bathroom 300 00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:40,385 you come look for me, because I got some boots to be shined, all right? 301 00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:43,304 Tony, go chase that leak down in the basement, all right? 302 00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:46,724 - Okay, boss. - Okay. 303 00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:50,395 Mac, I got to hand it to you. This is brilliant. 304 00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:53,064 - That's how I roll. Charles? - Oh, yeah, yeah. 305 00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:54,232 I'm gonna get nice and drunk, 306 00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:56,442 play some video games until my eyes bleed. 307 00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:57,944 - Amen to that, brother. - Me too. 308 00:12:58,027 --> 00:12:59,612 I wanna play Charlie. 309 00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:03,074 Uh… 310 00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:05,743 Don't you have, like, some stuff 311 00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,203 - that you need to do? - Yeah. Yeah. 312 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,372 - No. - Yeah, managerial stuff. 313 00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,499 - Managerial stuff! - No, I got that all cleared up. 314 00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:13,668 And then I thought after we played a video game… 315 00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:15,878 - Uh-huh. - …the three of us go outside, 316 00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:18,381 throw the pigskin around, play some two-hand touch. 317 00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:19,966 - Ooh. - Hey, that's not gonna… 318 00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:21,426 - That's gonna work out. - Ooh. 319 00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:22,802 I'll teach you how to play. I'll teach you. 320 00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:24,304 - Yeah, I already know how to play. - Yeah, yeah. I know how to play. 321 00:13:24,387 --> 00:13:26,597 Not properly though. 322 00:13:26,681 --> 00:13:29,017 - Kind of properly. - Right. Uh, oh, Charlie. 323 00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,893 You know what? We got to get into the bathroom 324 00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:32,020 to show Maria… 325 00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:34,230 - Charlie has this thing, the scrubbing. - Scrubbing! 326 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,274 Charlie has this scrubbing thing with the Brillo. 327 00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:37,442 - I have a Brillo. I have a Brillo. - He has a method. 328 00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:39,402 He has a method, and we got to show her. 329 00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:41,029 And make sure that she's got it down. 330 00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:42,488 - All right. I'll get myself a beer. - Yeah! 331 00:13:42,572 --> 00:13:45,241 - Yeah, get a beer. - Okay. We'll work it out over here. 332 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,160 Well, this is a development I did not expect. 333 00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:49,495 It's like he's really trying to become our father. 334 00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:50,830 I know how to play football, Charlie. 335 00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:53,458 I know you do, bro. I know you do. 336 00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:56,044 Do you… Do you want me to leave? 337 00:13:56,127 --> 00:13:57,795 Huh? No, you're good. Just… 338 00:13:57,879 --> 00:13:59,922 You know what? Actually, make sure you really work that sponge in there. 339 00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:02,175 Because otherwise, that stain, like, it'll… 340 00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:03,301 It's not gonna get clean if you don't. 341 00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:04,594 Yeah. It's gonna get worse. 342 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,346 Charlie, what are we gonna do? We got to ditch him or something. 343 00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:09,015 Tell you what. How about you and me, we go out on the town? 344 00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:11,017 You know what I mean? We celebrate this whole… 345 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,937 Slave situation. 346 00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:16,564 I'd love to, Charlie. You know, I really would. 347 00:14:16,648 --> 00:14:18,107 But we don't have any money. What are we gonna do? 348 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:19,233 Oh, I got money. 349 00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:21,569 What? 350 00:14:21,653 --> 00:14:23,071 Yeah, I got a whole bunch of money, bro. 351 00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:25,823 Frank's been hiding all of his money in my account. 352 00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:29,118 And why was I not made aware of this before? 353 00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:32,121 Uh, it's got something to do with the vig. 354 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,206 What's a vig? 355 00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:36,084 Well, you know how gangsters, they talk about a vig? 356 00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:38,711 - Yeah? - And… And it means… 357 00:14:38,795 --> 00:14:40,880 - Yeah. Oh, a vig! - A vig. 358 00:14:40,964 --> 00:14:42,382 Yeah. Well, you should have a vig. 359 00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:43,466 I should have a vig, right? 360 00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:44,592 - We should all have a vig. - And Frank didn't give me one. 361 00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:46,594 - Oh, that's bullshit! You deserve a vig. - Uh-hmm. 362 00:14:46,678 --> 00:14:48,346 - I do. I'm a good guy, right? - You're a great guy. 363 00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:50,890 - I'm a great guy! - We're all great guys who deserve vigs. 364 00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:52,684 - We're good people. - All right, here's the plan. 365 00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:54,227 We're gonna slip out of here, okay? 366 00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:57,355 We're gonna hit an ATM. We'll take out just a little bit of cash. 367 00:14:57,438 --> 00:14:59,232 - Just a little. - Just enough. He won't even notice it. 368 00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:01,526 Just enough to have a quiet night out. 369 00:15:04,529 --> 00:15:06,990 Here's some for you! Here's some for you! 370 00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,616 And here's some for you! 371 00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:18,376 Oh, God. 372 00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:22,505 Oh, shit! 373 00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:23,715 Dennis! 374 00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:27,385 - Dennis! - What happened? 375 00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:31,764 It's 4:00. 376 00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:34,434 I'm freezing and I'm sweating all at once. 377 00:15:34,517 --> 00:15:37,020 I think I may have peed in my pants. 378 00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:38,563 We missed our doctor's appointment. 379 00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:42,191 Well, only by an hour. If we hurry, maybe they'll still see us. 380 00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:43,901 It was yesterday. 381 00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:47,113 We missed our appointment by an hour and a day. 382 00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:49,032 We slept through a whole day? 383 00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:51,492 - I feel awful. - I feel like I'm gonna die! 384 00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:53,119 I don't wanna feel like this anymore, Deandra. 385 00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:55,204 Mmm-mmm. Me either. 386 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,665 Okay, listen. 387 00:15:57,749 --> 00:15:59,917 Maybe if I make a phone call right now, 388 00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:02,503 we'll be able to make another appointment. 389 00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:04,631 You think he'll see us on such short notice? 390 00:16:04,714 --> 00:16:06,633 We have got to try. 391 00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:09,177 Hey, man. Thanks for seeing us on such short notice. 392 00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:11,429 - That's what I do, baby. - Two more, please. 393 00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:17,060 - That guy. Yeah. - Yeah. 394 00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:23,399 No, these are old, and I need to get new head shots. 395 00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:26,194 Because you can't have an agent without head shots. 396 00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:28,112 Dennis, when you become a veterinarian, 397 00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:30,239 will you buy me some new head shots? 398 00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:32,325 Please? Dennis? 399 00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:35,828 - Hey! Dennis! Hey, Dennis. - Huh. What? 400 00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:36,913 When you become a veterinarian, 401 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,456 will you buy me head shots, please? 402 00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:40,291 Hey! Hey, get out of here, you piece of shit! 403 00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:44,295 Yeah, I'll buy you stuff. 404 00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:46,714 I'll buy you lots of things. 405 00:16:46,798 --> 00:16:48,132 I'm definitely gonna buy a bunch of crack. 406 00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:49,842 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 407 00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:58,476 Hey! Hey, that's Dennis and Dee! 408 00:16:58,559 --> 00:16:59,852 Driver, pull over! 409 00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:09,070 Hey, Dennis! Dee! 410 00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:12,615 - Oh. - Hey. 411 00:17:14,909 --> 00:17:17,287 - Guys. Hey. - Hey. Hey. 412 00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:18,621 Hey, how's it going? 413 00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:21,082 - Good. Real good. - Oh, yeah. It's gonna 414 00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:22,583 We're putting a couple things together lately. 415 00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:25,336 - Mmm-hmm. - Hey, uh, are you guys holding? 416 00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:27,338 Holding what? 417 00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:31,926 Holding… Do you have any money? 418 00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:33,886 - Please? - Oh, um… 419 00:17:33,970 --> 00:17:36,347 - I just need a little bit of money. - No, wait! Charlie, wait! 420 00:17:36,431 --> 00:17:37,974 - Charlie, wait! - No! 421 00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:40,268 Driver, we're done here. 422 00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:50,945 That's enough whining, for crying out loud! 423 00:17:51,029 --> 00:17:52,238 I think it might be broken. 424 00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:55,241 I told you not to act like such a nancy boy out there. 425 00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:56,659 Something was bound to happen. 426 00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:59,329 I didn't think it was full-contact. 427 00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:02,790 Well, how do you expect to become a better player if nobody pushes you? 428 00:18:02,874 --> 00:18:05,001 Maria, go get us some ice and three beers. 429 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:07,795 - I don't drink. - Me neither. 430 00:18:07,879 --> 00:18:09,339 You don't drink? 431 00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:12,425 Jesus Christ! You two are a couple of downers, huh? 432 00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,260 You work hard, you don't drink. 433 00:18:14,344 --> 00:18:16,095 How'd you end up on welfare? 434 00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:18,431 Well, it's a vicious cycle, Mr. Frank. 435 00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:20,558 I mean, one cannot support a family 436 00:18:20,642 --> 00:18:21,851 on a… On a minimum-wage… 437 00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:23,394 Oh, shh-shh-shh-shh! 438 00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:26,939 Y'ello? 439 00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:28,483 This is Pam from First National Bank. 440 00:18:28,566 --> 00:18:29,734 Charlie Kelly, please. 441 00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:31,110 Yeah, this is Charlie Kelly. 442 00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:32,195 Hi. I'd like to speak with you 443 00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:34,656 about some recent activity on your new account. 444 00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:37,742 Some recent activity on my new account? 445 00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,410 We got a big problem here, buddy. 446 00:18:39,494 --> 00:18:41,371 - All right. Try it again. - I've tried it three times, okay? 447 00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:43,039 - It's just not working. - Need I remind you 448 00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:44,749 that the services have already been rendered, Charlie. 449 00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:46,459 - We got to pay these girls. - He cut us off. 450 00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:48,211 - Is there a problem? - No. 451 00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:49,462 - Not a problem here. - No problem. 452 00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:51,756 - Yeah, I'm calling Hector. - No, no. Don't call Hector. 453 00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:52,882 I'm calling Wallace. 454 00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:55,635 We shouldn't be calling Hector or Wallace or any other large pimp. 455 00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:57,345 - No. - Uh, Charlie and I 456 00:18:57,428 --> 00:19:00,390 are gonna handle this situation just like we handle every situation. 457 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:01,683 We are gonna… 458 00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:09,315 Well, you know, we'll just go back to work for a little while. 459 00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:11,901 Just for a little while until we have enough money to buy some more crack. 460 00:19:11,985 --> 00:19:14,362 And then, we'll go on welfare, and I'll go be a star. 461 00:19:14,445 --> 00:19:17,699 And then I can be a veterinarian of some kind. 462 00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:18,866 Maybe we should think about rehab. 463 00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:19,951 We should hit rehab as soon as possible. 464 00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:21,244 Pretty soon. 465 00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:22,537 - In a couple days. - Yeah. 466 00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:24,789 Not now. 467 00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:27,000 Ah, Jesus Christ! That was close. 468 00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:30,003 Oh, look who it is! 469 00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:31,212 What the hell are you guys doing here? 470 00:19:31,296 --> 00:19:32,547 - We're getting our jobs back. - Yeah. Yeah. 471 00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:33,840 You can't have em! You can't have em! 472 00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:35,591 We… We might have a little bit of a drug problem. 473 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,218 Oh, see, I might not really care. 474 00:19:37,302 --> 00:19:39,012 - I don't give a shit. - Your positions have been filled. 475 00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:40,346 So we're gonna take yours. 476 00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:41,472 No, you're not gonna take our jobs. 477 00:19:41,556 --> 00:19:43,474 My dad called and said that we could have your jobs. 478 00:19:43,558 --> 00:19:46,019 We need money to pay our hookers, okay? So you can't have 'em. 479 00:19:46,102 --> 00:19:47,645 But we need money to buy crack. 480 00:19:47,729 --> 00:19:50,148 Oh, I'm sorry. Did you get addicted to crack? 481 00:19:50,231 --> 00:19:52,066 Did somebody get addicted to crack? 482 00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:56,029 I sweat uncontrollably! 483 00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:58,865 I can't get somebody to have sex with me unless I pay for it! 484 00:20:00,158 --> 00:20:03,578 Children, what's all the fighting about? 485 00:20:03,661 --> 00:20:05,330 Did you tell them that they could have our jobs? 486 00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:07,373 Why don't we go on inside where it's nice and warm 487 00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:08,916 and we can settle this like a family? 488 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,044 - Come on. - Yeah, what about the slaves? 489 00:20:11,127 --> 00:20:12,337 Slaves are gone. 490 00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:14,839 They were bringing me down. Plus, you know they don't drink? 491 00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:17,467 - Drink? I want a drink. - Wait, wait, wait! 492 00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:20,178 Stop a second. There are gonna be some changes made. 493 00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:21,638 - Okay. - All right? First of all, 494 00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:24,766 you two from now on are gonna do all of Charlie's work. 495 00:20:24,849 --> 00:20:27,477 - I hate Charlie's work. - No. Not his. 496 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,646 Stop! Charlie, 497 00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:32,273 you got a lot of balls stealing my money. 498 00:20:33,358 --> 00:20:37,570 This shows leadership. I am promoting you to management. 499 00:20:37,654 --> 00:20:39,614 - That's why I did it. - That's fantastic! 500 00:20:39,697 --> 00:20:40,782 That's why I did it too, Frank. 501 00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:42,533 I stole lots of your money. What do I get? 502 00:20:42,617 --> 00:20:46,579 You get dick, because you are a follower and a thief. 503 00:20:46,663 --> 00:20:49,749 But how come Charlie? Not fair. How come Charlie? 504 00:20:49,832 --> 00:20:51,376 Why would you do this to us, Dad? 505 00:20:52,377 --> 00:20:55,630 Because you are crackheads, children. 506 00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:04,472 - Crack. - Crack. 507 00:21:04,555 --> 00:21:06,391 Crack. Crack. 508 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,352 Crack.