1 00:00:01,477 --> 00:00:02,854 - These are priceless. - What are you guys looking at? 2 00:00:02,937 --> 00:00:05,982 - Uh, Garbage Pail Kids. - Heavin' Steven. 3 00:00:06,065 --> 00:00:08,401 - Classic. - Totally classic. I love Heavin' Steven. 4 00:00:08,484 --> 00:00:10,403 Are those those stupid cards where babies are doing 5 00:00:10,486 --> 00:00:12,697 - disgusting things? - Uh, no. 6 00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:16,242 They're the amazing cards where babies are doing hysterical things. 7 00:00:16,325 --> 00:00:19,203 - You got quite a collection there, buddy. - Yes, I do. 8 00:00:19,287 --> 00:00:21,789 Hey, Charlie, how about givin' me a couple of these? 9 00:00:21,873 --> 00:00:24,333 - Uh, no. - I tell you what. 10 00:00:24,417 --> 00:00:25,626 I'll buy 'em from you. You got a ton of 'em. 11 00:00:25,710 --> 00:00:27,712 No, no. These are, like, an investment. 12 00:00:27,795 --> 00:00:29,630 This is my future here, okay. So don't mess with them. 13 00:00:30,715 --> 00:00:32,884 Hey, have you guys seen this? 14 00:00:32,967 --> 00:00:35,553 We are getting blasted in the ass by the state liquor tax. 15 00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:37,054 "Blasted in the ass." 16 00:00:37,138 --> 00:00:39,640 Mac, we have this same conversation every year. 17 00:00:39,724 --> 00:00:41,309 There's nothing you can do about taxes. 18 00:00:41,392 --> 00:00:44,353 You guys might want to think about voting every once in a while. 19 00:00:44,437 --> 00:00:46,939 - What has voting ever done? - Why… Since… What has… 20 00:00:47,023 --> 00:00:48,191 why are you coming down… 21 00:00:48,274 --> 00:00:50,026 - Voting? - Who am I supposed to vote for? 22 00:00:50,109 --> 00:00:51,527 Am I supposed to vote for the Democrat 23 00:00:51,611 --> 00:00:52,945 who's gonna blast me in the ass 24 00:00:53,029 --> 00:00:54,572 or the Republican who's blasting my ass? 25 00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:58,451 - Politics is just all one big ass blast. - It is a coast-to-coast, 26 00:00:58,534 --> 00:01:00,077 - nationwide ass blast. - You're gonna get your ass… 27 00:01:00,161 --> 00:01:02,038 No more! You guys are such morons. 28 00:01:02,121 --> 00:01:03,706 If you knew anything at all about politics, 29 00:01:03,790 --> 00:01:05,082 you would know that that is not true. 30 00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:08,294 Deandra, it's just some jerk gettin' into office 31 00:01:08,377 --> 00:01:10,046 so he can get out for the payday. 32 00:01:10,129 --> 00:01:13,800 Right. The guy's runnin' for office. He's what? Uh, what payday? 33 00:01:13,883 --> 00:01:15,343 I see it every year. 34 00:01:15,426 --> 00:01:19,222 I mean, some clown runs for office, drops out of the race 35 00:01:19,305 --> 00:01:21,390 and gets a big chunk of dough. 36 00:01:21,474 --> 00:01:26,813 I mean, you have to be a real low-life piece of shit 37 00:01:26,896 --> 00:01:28,940 to get involved in politics. 38 00:02:07,603 --> 00:02:10,022 Okay. I just got off the phone with the city clerk. 39 00:02:10,106 --> 00:02:11,566 Turns out there's an election comin' up. 40 00:02:11,649 --> 00:02:12,775 Local, small-time shit. 41 00:02:12,859 --> 00:02:14,193 - Anybody can run. - What's the position? 42 00:02:14,277 --> 00:02:16,070 "South Philly, Zone 2, 43 00:02:16,154 --> 00:02:17,905 District 37, Comptroller." 44 00:02:17,989 --> 00:02:19,240 Nice. What's a comptroller? 45 00:02:19,323 --> 00:02:20,908 Who gives a shit, dude? We're doin' it for the bribe. 46 00:02:20,992 --> 00:02:22,368 I nominate Dennis. 47 00:02:22,452 --> 00:02:24,078 I accept your nomination. 48 00:02:24,162 --> 00:02:25,872 Wait a minute. How come he gets to be the candidate? 49 00:02:25,955 --> 00:02:28,249 Uh, Dee. Take a look at that hair. Kennedy hair. 50 00:02:28,332 --> 00:02:31,085 Note the bone structure. It's like a young JFK. 51 00:02:31,169 --> 00:02:33,045 You know, uh, I got the same bone structure. 52 00:02:35,256 --> 00:02:37,592 What are you making that noise? What is that about? 53 00:02:37,675 --> 00:02:40,094 You got something funky goin' on in the forehead area. 54 00:02:40,178 --> 00:02:42,138 - Five head. - What, did you say "five head"? 55 00:02:42,221 --> 00:02:44,182 - I don't have that. - Deandra, a woman in politics 56 00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:46,434 is like a donkey doing calculus. 57 00:02:46,517 --> 00:02:49,479 Come on. There are plenty of amazing women politicians. 58 00:02:49,562 --> 00:02:52,690 - Name one. - Uh, Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton. 59 00:02:52,774 --> 00:02:55,067 - Awful. - How is she awful? 60 00:02:55,151 --> 00:02:57,028 - Hates freedom. - Uh… 61 00:02:57,111 --> 00:02:59,489 Okay, Dennis, you are gonna need a campaign manager. 62 00:02:59,572 --> 00:03:01,324 - That's me. - So… 63 00:03:01,407 --> 00:03:03,201 Ooh. Ooh. We should put that one to a vote. 64 00:03:03,284 --> 00:03:04,786 'Cause I'd be a good campaign manager. 65 00:03:04,869 --> 00:03:06,788 Charlie, it's kinda too late 'cause I already have the clipboard. 66 00:03:06,871 --> 00:03:08,623 So you can be my assistant. 67 00:03:08,706 --> 00:03:11,542 - Mmm. Assistant is… - Should I wear a blazer for this? 68 00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:12,710 - Yes. - No. 69 00:03:12,794 --> 00:03:14,921 - Yes. Yes. - No. 70 00:03:15,004 --> 00:03:16,255 Charlie? Campaign manager. 71 00:03:16,339 --> 00:03:17,590 - You don't need a blazer. - A blazer's gonna look good. 72 00:03:17,673 --> 00:03:19,675 - I like where he's goin'. - Hey. What am I gonna do? 73 00:03:19,759 --> 00:03:22,011 You get to be the intern. 74 00:03:22,094 --> 00:03:23,638 - Yeah, the intern. - What does an intern do? 75 00:03:23,721 --> 00:03:25,515 - Cut limes. - Stock glasses. 76 00:03:25,598 --> 00:03:27,934 - Serve drinks. - No. No. No. Come on. 77 00:03:28,017 --> 00:03:29,393 You guys, damn you! 78 00:03:29,477 --> 00:03:31,187 - No. I'm not doing that. - Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! 79 00:03:31,270 --> 00:03:33,815 If my son is gonna solicit a bribe, 80 00:03:33,898 --> 00:03:35,191 he's gonna do it the right way. 81 00:03:35,274 --> 00:03:38,069 - I'm gonna be campaign manager. - Like hell you are, man. 82 00:03:38,152 --> 00:03:40,446 You are way too old. And politics is a young man's game. 83 00:03:40,530 --> 00:03:41,906 - Right, guys? - Mac, I think you might be in 84 00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:43,366 - over your head here. - Yeah. 85 00:03:43,449 --> 00:03:45,326 - Over my head? - Yeah. Listen. 86 00:03:45,409 --> 00:03:47,954 Everybody who's in favor of firing Mac 87 00:03:48,037 --> 00:03:49,539 as campaign manager, 88 00:03:49,622 --> 00:03:51,290 raise their hand. 89 00:03:51,374 --> 00:03:52,667 For God sakes! 90 00:03:52,750 --> 00:03:54,836 The people have spoken. You're out. 91 00:03:54,919 --> 00:03:56,963 So that's it? That's it? I'm fired? This is bullshit! 92 00:03:57,046 --> 00:03:58,548 That's politics, man. 93 00:03:58,631 --> 00:03:59,924 - That's politics? - Yeah. 94 00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:02,260 That's politics? This is wonderful. This is just wonderful. 95 00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:03,803 You know what? I'm walkin' out of here. 96 00:04:03,886 --> 00:04:05,179 I don't need this shit. 97 00:04:05,263 --> 00:04:07,515 I'm washin' my hands of the whole situation. 98 00:04:07,598 --> 00:04:09,183 - Show you, bitches. - Can I grab that clipboard? 99 00:04:09,267 --> 00:04:10,810 No. That's mine. 100 00:04:14,063 --> 00:04:16,107 Dee, check out my blazer. 101 00:04:16,190 --> 00:04:17,483 Yeah. It's too small. 102 00:04:17,567 --> 00:04:19,318 Nah. It's perfect. 103 00:04:19,402 --> 00:04:20,820 How's the bar? 104 00:04:20,903 --> 00:04:23,406 Full of hobos, Dennis. A lot of hobos. 105 00:04:23,489 --> 00:04:25,533 Watch your ears. There you go. 106 00:04:25,616 --> 00:04:26,784 Frank. 107 00:04:26,868 --> 00:04:29,829 Frank, I just… I don't… I just don't think this is the best idea 108 00:04:29,912 --> 00:04:31,080 for our candidate's image. 109 00:04:31,164 --> 00:04:34,375 This is a brilliant idea, "Hobo-vertising." 110 00:04:34,459 --> 00:04:36,794 Come on. It looks good. Beer him. 111 00:04:38,296 --> 00:04:39,505 We gotta fire Frank. 112 00:04:39,589 --> 00:04:42,091 - He's my dad, Charlie. I don't know. - But, Dennis. Dennis. 113 00:04:42,175 --> 00:04:43,509 - I don't know. - "Hobo-vertising"? 114 00:04:43,593 --> 00:04:45,928 - That's not you. It's cheap. - Ooh. 115 00:04:46,012 --> 00:04:49,640 It's cheap. It's cheap politics. I mean, it's not gonna get us that bribe. 116 00:04:49,724 --> 00:04:51,517 I mean, you need to be out there. 117 00:04:51,601 --> 00:04:55,062 You gotta be shakin' hands. You gotta be kissin' babies. 118 00:04:56,397 --> 00:04:58,649 - I don't like babies. - No babies. Don't kiss babies. 119 00:04:58,733 --> 00:05:00,735 Just get out there into the world, 120 00:05:00,818 --> 00:05:06,115 and you gotta let me be your campaign manager. 121 00:05:06,199 --> 00:05:08,326 I mean, I can really drive this thing 122 00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:09,619 in a different direction. 123 00:05:09,702 --> 00:05:11,662 I mean, when I look at you, I see success. 124 00:05:11,746 --> 00:05:14,290 I see… I see you're top-notch. 125 00:05:14,373 --> 00:05:16,375 - You're goin' all the way with this thing. - Oh. 126 00:05:16,459 --> 00:05:18,085 Frank's just gettin' in the way here. 127 00:05:18,169 --> 00:05:20,797 You just… Let me… Give me this chance. Just give it to me. 128 00:05:22,381 --> 00:05:23,758 I just didn't realize I was gonna have to make 129 00:05:23,841 --> 00:05:26,469 so many tough decisions. 130 00:05:32,225 --> 00:05:34,560 Take him down. 131 00:05:34,644 --> 00:05:37,522 - This is a goddamn coup! - No. Don't take it personally, Dad. 132 00:05:37,605 --> 00:05:39,649 - That's just politics. - You look like a dick 133 00:05:39,732 --> 00:05:41,526 - in that tiny jacket. - Oh. Oh. Oh, Frank. 134 00:05:41,609 --> 00:05:43,152 - Let's not attack my candidate. - Don't go after the jacket. 135 00:05:43,236 --> 00:05:44,821 - Shut up, Charlie. - The jacket's good. 136 00:05:44,904 --> 00:05:47,573 - I can talk to my son any way I want. - Give him the clipboard. 137 00:05:47,657 --> 00:05:49,033 - No. No. - Give me the clipboard. 138 00:05:49,117 --> 00:05:50,201 - Give him the clipboard. - No. 139 00:05:50,284 --> 00:05:51,953 Clipboard belongs to the campaign manager. 140 00:05:52,036 --> 00:05:53,329 - I want that clipboard. - Go to hell. 141 00:05:53,412 --> 00:05:54,997 Oh, that was ugly. 142 00:05:55,081 --> 00:05:58,000 - That was uncalled for. - Mmm. 143 00:05:58,084 --> 00:06:01,045 Wow. That was, uh, a lot easier than I thought it was gonna be. 144 00:06:01,129 --> 00:06:03,047 - I can get a clipboard anywhere. - Yeah. 145 00:06:03,131 --> 00:06:04,423 All right. 146 00:06:04,507 --> 00:06:06,092 Don't do that. 147 00:06:11,097 --> 00:06:13,808 - I want you to run for comptroller. - What? 148 00:06:13,891 --> 00:06:16,144 I'm gonna be your campaign manager. 149 00:06:16,227 --> 00:06:19,313 We're gonna stroll right into that comptroller's office 150 00:06:19,397 --> 00:06:20,565 and solicit a bribe. 151 00:06:20,648 --> 00:06:22,275 Ah. Forget it. I am not helping you. 152 00:06:22,358 --> 00:06:24,485 Deandra, we'll get this bribe, 153 00:06:24,569 --> 00:06:26,571 and we'll shove it right in your brother's face. 154 00:06:26,654 --> 00:06:28,573 We'll screw those guys. 155 00:06:28,656 --> 00:06:31,075 I would like to shove it in his face. 156 00:06:31,159 --> 00:06:32,243 Okay. 157 00:06:32,326 --> 00:06:35,580 Okay. Now let's get you ready for the ball, Cinderella. 158 00:06:35,663 --> 00:06:38,124 - What are you doing? - The bangs, they… 159 00:06:38,207 --> 00:06:40,126 The five head. 160 00:06:43,171 --> 00:06:46,090 Let me get this straight. You want to try and solicit a bribe? 161 00:06:46,174 --> 00:06:47,550 Yes! 162 00:06:47,633 --> 00:06:50,219 You want my union to back your roommate 163 00:06:50,303 --> 00:06:52,513 - for South Philly District 37 Comptroller? - Yes. 164 00:06:52,597 --> 00:06:55,224 - But not to win. - Correct. 165 00:06:55,308 --> 00:06:57,894 - It sounds illegal. - Aw, for God sakes. 166 00:06:57,977 --> 00:07:00,313 What is with you two? Come on! 167 00:07:00,396 --> 00:07:03,274 You know, like, in the movies, union guys are, like, tough 168 00:07:03,357 --> 00:07:06,068 - and shady and shit. - Sorry to disappoint you. 169 00:07:06,152 --> 00:07:08,571 You're like a couple of nerds. 170 00:07:08,654 --> 00:07:10,448 All right, look. 171 00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:12,200 Let me take you bitches to school for a second. 172 00:07:12,283 --> 00:07:16,037 In this country, in the real world, people make money. 173 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:18,539 Somebody is gonna make a ton of money off my roommate. 174 00:07:18,623 --> 00:07:21,292 - I want it to be you. - Let me make one thing perfectly clear. 175 00:07:21,375 --> 00:07:23,878 We are not a criminal organization. 176 00:07:23,961 --> 00:07:25,713 Why are you talking to me like I'm a jackass? 177 00:07:25,797 --> 00:07:27,381 I am not a jack… 178 00:07:28,925 --> 00:07:30,760 Oh. I see what you're doin'. 179 00:07:30,843 --> 00:07:32,220 Okay. 180 00:07:32,303 --> 00:07:35,431 Nobody here is a criminal. No, sir. 181 00:07:35,515 --> 00:07:38,893 I think we're speaking the same language. 182 00:07:38,976 --> 00:07:40,686 - Are we? - Oh, yeah. 183 00:07:40,770 --> 00:07:44,023 We're being listened to. Bugged. The feds. I get it. 184 00:07:44,107 --> 00:07:46,984 I read. I see movies. I understand. Okay. 185 00:07:47,068 --> 00:07:48,861 I want you to contact me at Paddy's. 186 00:07:48,945 --> 00:07:51,239 I'm gonna get the ball rolling, okay? 187 00:07:51,322 --> 00:07:53,908 - Mmm-hmm. - It's safe there. 188 00:07:53,991 --> 00:07:56,035 Okay, gentlemen, sorry we couldn't work anything out. 189 00:07:56,119 --> 00:07:59,455 But, uh, I'm gonna go home and pay my taxes. 190 00:07:59,539 --> 00:08:02,083 Right? 191 00:08:02,166 --> 00:08:03,709 You want me to call the cops? 192 00:08:03,793 --> 00:08:05,878 Not yet. 193 00:08:05,962 --> 00:08:09,507 I've got a better idea. Let's screw this son of a bitch. 194 00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:10,883 Come on, Morris. We don't have time for this. 195 00:08:10,967 --> 00:08:12,760 He called us nerds, Gary. 196 00:08:14,428 --> 00:08:15,805 Nerds. 197 00:08:18,307 --> 00:08:21,144 Are you gonna take care of the crime problem here? 198 00:08:21,227 --> 00:08:23,020 Absolutely, I say we put 'em on busses 199 00:08:23,104 --> 00:08:25,189 and ship 'em over to Iraq, make 'em fight the terrorists. 200 00:08:25,273 --> 00:08:27,442 You're very handsome. 201 00:08:27,525 --> 00:08:28,693 Thank you. 202 00:08:28,776 --> 00:08:30,278 - This is going very, very well, man. - I know. 203 00:08:30,361 --> 00:08:31,446 People are really responding to me. 204 00:08:31,529 --> 00:08:33,406 - They love the bone structure. - They like the Kennedy hair. 205 00:08:33,489 --> 00:08:35,158 I've been looking for you guys everywhere. 206 00:08:35,241 --> 00:08:37,785 Look, I've been thinkin', and I feel like I could be 207 00:08:37,869 --> 00:08:39,287 a real asset to you guys. I want to help. 208 00:08:39,370 --> 00:08:40,455 What? Wait, wait. 209 00:08:40,538 --> 00:08:42,206 So first you wash your hands of politics. 210 00:08:42,290 --> 00:08:44,542 Now you want back in. That's called flip-flopping, Mac. 211 00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:46,461 - That's what Democrats do. - Hang on… Hang on a second, Charlie. 212 00:08:46,544 --> 00:08:48,379 Let's give the guy a chance to prove himself. 213 00:08:48,463 --> 00:08:51,048 Yeah. Yeah. Give me a chance. What should I do? 214 00:08:51,132 --> 00:08:52,717 "What should I do?" Strike one, buddy. 215 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:54,427 You gotta bring something to the table, Mac. 216 00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:58,264 All right. Ah, check this out. 217 00:08:58,347 --> 00:09:00,099 Excuse me. Hi. 218 00:09:00,183 --> 00:09:02,059 I couldn't help but notice your adorable baby. 219 00:09:02,143 --> 00:09:03,728 - Oh, thank you. - Yeah, I was wondering 220 00:09:03,811 --> 00:09:07,315 if you wouldn't mind if that handsome young gentleman over there kissed it. 221 00:09:07,398 --> 00:09:10,026 - Excuse me? - Yeah. Oh. I'm sorry. 222 00:09:10,109 --> 00:09:12,570 He's running for District 37 Comptroller, so it's cool. 223 00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:14,447 - You know, I'd rather not. - You know what, 224 00:09:14,530 --> 00:09:16,407 it's good for him, and it's good for you. 225 00:09:16,491 --> 00:09:17,867 So I think maybe you should just give me the baby. 226 00:09:17,950 --> 00:09:19,076 Please leave me alone. 227 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:20,495 No. Okay, lady. 228 00:09:20,578 --> 00:09:22,163 If you give me the baby, I could get it over with 229 00:09:22,246 --> 00:09:24,081 - as quickly as possible, all right. - I said no! 230 00:09:24,165 --> 00:09:25,416 God damn it! Just give me the baby! 231 00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:27,210 Somebody help me! 232 00:09:27,293 --> 00:09:29,629 - Lady! Give me the baby! - This is campaign suicide, dude. 233 00:09:29,712 --> 00:09:31,380 Let's get outta here. 234 00:09:35,343 --> 00:09:37,220 There, there, there. 235 00:09:37,303 --> 00:09:39,013 There, there, there. 236 00:09:39,096 --> 00:09:40,181 - Take a look. - Got it? 237 00:09:40,264 --> 00:09:41,349 - Yeah. Take a look. - Got it on? Sure? 238 00:09:41,432 --> 00:09:42,767 Yeah. What do you think? 239 00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:45,144 I think I look like a whore. 240 00:09:45,228 --> 00:09:46,854 - I'm trying to make you sexy. - This is not sexy. 241 00:09:46,938 --> 00:09:48,064 - Yeah. - What's… What is this? 242 00:09:48,147 --> 00:09:49,232 - This is… - What's this? 243 00:09:49,315 --> 00:09:50,399 It's the bed look. 244 00:09:50,483 --> 00:09:52,235 The tossed look. The ruffled look. 245 00:09:52,318 --> 00:09:54,278 You look like you just got… 246 00:09:54,362 --> 00:09:56,155 Anyway, we have to convince this guy 247 00:09:56,239 --> 00:09:58,908 that we're a legitimate threat to his campaign. 248 00:09:58,991 --> 00:10:01,619 There is nothing more threatening to a man 249 00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:04,455 than a woman who is smart and attractive. 250 00:10:04,539 --> 00:10:06,249 We have to pretend you're both. 251 00:10:08,251 --> 00:10:09,752 Wow. You're a horrible father. 252 00:10:11,170 --> 00:10:12,588 Let's just go. Let's just go. 253 00:10:12,672 --> 00:10:13,798 - Okay. Great. Great. - Let's get it done. 254 00:10:13,881 --> 00:10:16,175 - Let's do it. - Now, Daddy hates to say this, 255 00:10:16,259 --> 00:10:20,304 but I think we should talk about the breasts. 256 00:10:20,388 --> 00:10:23,683 "Oh, don't hurt my baby." Like I'm gonna hurt somebody's baby. 257 00:10:23,766 --> 00:10:25,685 You know what I mean? Goddamn Dennis. Fire me? 258 00:10:25,768 --> 00:10:28,062 - I'll fire you. - Mac. 259 00:10:28,146 --> 00:10:30,565 Get in. 260 00:10:30,648 --> 00:10:31,941 We got a bribe for your roommate's 261 00:10:32,024 --> 00:10:33,818 withdrawal from the race. 262 00:10:33,901 --> 00:10:37,155 Really? Wow. You nerds work fast. 263 00:10:37,238 --> 00:10:39,240 All right. How much did we get? 264 00:10:39,323 --> 00:10:42,535 We don't get any money until you pull your guy from the race. 265 00:10:43,786 --> 00:10:45,371 Oh. 266 00:10:45,455 --> 00:10:47,331 Okay, uh… 267 00:10:47,415 --> 00:10:49,750 That's not gonna be a problem, is it? 268 00:10:49,834 --> 00:10:51,502 No. That's not gonna be a problem. 269 00:10:51,586 --> 00:10:53,337 Better not be, Mac. 270 00:10:53,421 --> 00:10:55,882 Otherwise Marvin here is gonna have to take care of you. 271 00:10:57,175 --> 00:10:58,926 Take care of me how? 272 00:10:59,010 --> 00:11:01,512 I'll probably stab you in your throat. 273 00:11:01,596 --> 00:11:04,140 Jesus Christ! Stab me in my throat? 274 00:11:04,223 --> 00:11:05,475 Are you serious? 275 00:11:05,558 --> 00:11:07,268 Pull your guy out, Mac. 276 00:11:07,351 --> 00:11:09,645 I'm gonna pull him out. I'm gonna pull him out, Marvin. 277 00:11:09,729 --> 00:11:12,690 Marvin, I'm gonna pull him out. Okay. 278 00:11:12,774 --> 00:11:14,567 Who's the nerd now, bitch? 279 00:11:14,650 --> 00:11:17,403 That was fun. I feel like a gangster. 280 00:11:17,487 --> 00:11:19,155 Shut up, Gary. 281 00:11:22,658 --> 00:11:24,202 I'm not dropping out. 282 00:11:24,285 --> 00:11:25,995 Bro, you have to drop out. 283 00:11:26,078 --> 00:11:28,247 - Why? - I didn't wanna say this before 284 00:11:28,331 --> 00:11:30,208 - but you don't have Kennedy hair, okay? - All right! Oh, God! 285 00:11:30,291 --> 00:11:32,877 - You don't have the jawline. - How could you say that? 286 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:34,921 If I hear one more flip-flop out of you, dude, 287 00:11:35,004 --> 00:11:36,881 I'm gonna throw up in my mouth. You ready to do this? 288 00:11:36,964 --> 00:11:38,591 Yeah. I'm ready. I'm just doing some fine-tuning. 289 00:11:38,674 --> 00:11:40,301 - All right. Well, it looks good. - Just trying to get my tan on. 290 00:11:40,384 --> 00:11:43,054 I know, but let's hurry because the battery on this drains like a tub. 291 00:11:43,137 --> 00:11:45,932 What is going on in here? What… Are those beach towels? 292 00:11:46,015 --> 00:11:47,350 Yeah. We're gonna shoot a commercial, 293 00:11:47,433 --> 00:11:49,227 get it on public access, get the message out. 294 00:11:49,310 --> 00:11:50,728 It's a million-dollar bill pal. 295 00:11:50,812 --> 00:11:51,938 Yeah. A million-dollar bill. 296 00:11:52,021 --> 00:11:53,815 You guys are never gonna get a bribe, okay? 297 00:11:53,898 --> 00:11:56,317 - It's not about the bribe for us, anymore. - Yeah. We don't care about that. 298 00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:57,819 I think I could be a legitimate politician. 299 00:11:57,902 --> 00:12:00,279 - He's goin' all the way to the top. - Really do some good in Philadelphia. 300 00:12:00,363 --> 00:12:01,447 Are you listening to yourself? 301 00:12:01,531 --> 00:12:03,157 You've never done any good for anybody ever! 302 00:12:03,241 --> 00:12:05,034 I do good! I do good! 303 00:12:05,118 --> 00:12:06,869 You never do anything! You're a loser! 304 00:12:06,953 --> 00:12:08,454 You know what? I think you're just jealous! 305 00:12:08,538 --> 00:12:11,082 - I'm not jealous! - All right! All right! That's… 306 00:12:11,165 --> 00:12:12,500 That's no way to run a campaign, boys. 307 00:12:12,583 --> 00:12:14,502 Mac, let's have the conversation outside. 308 00:12:14,585 --> 00:12:16,671 - All right. We'll talk outside. - Yeah, we'll make you happy. 309 00:12:16,754 --> 00:12:18,047 - You're droppin' out of that race. - Yeah… No. 310 00:12:18,131 --> 00:12:19,215 I'm droppin' out of shit. 311 00:12:19,298 --> 00:12:20,925 We got to work it out. We'll work… We'll work it out. 312 00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:23,845 Yeah, we'll work it out. You and me and, uh… 313 00:12:23,928 --> 00:12:25,638 Did you just lock this door? 314 00:12:25,721 --> 00:12:27,390 - Yes, I did. - You are going to hell, little man! 315 00:12:27,473 --> 00:12:30,017 Mmm, I don't think so. That's politics, bitch. 316 00:12:30,101 --> 00:12:31,227 - I hate you, Charlie! - You ready? 317 00:12:31,310 --> 00:12:32,770 - I'm ready. - God damn it! 318 00:12:32,854 --> 00:12:33,938 Okay, I want you to get in front of the flag 319 00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:35,106 and the million-dollar bill there. 320 00:12:35,189 --> 00:12:38,317 Dude, you and my dad share this futon? 321 00:12:41,237 --> 00:12:43,030 No. 322 00:12:43,114 --> 00:12:47,618 No, we… No, we got a whole different situation worked out. 323 00:12:47,702 --> 00:12:51,372 - What's the situation? - It's… I sleep on the… And… 324 00:12:51,456 --> 00:12:53,875 You got the script that I wrote? Grab the script. 325 00:12:53,958 --> 00:12:55,668 I've been meaning to speak to you about this. 326 00:12:56,836 --> 00:12:58,880 I can't read these words. They're not in the right order. 327 00:12:58,963 --> 00:13:01,048 - It's good. - I think you might be dyslexic, bro. 328 00:13:01,132 --> 00:13:02,884 - I'm not readin' this. - No, no, no, no! No, no, no! 329 00:13:02,967 --> 00:13:04,051 - Please. Read it. - I think you might be dyslexic. 330 00:13:04,135 --> 00:13:06,012 - Read the script once. - Okay. You want me to read the script? 331 00:13:06,095 --> 00:13:08,222 - Yes. And action. - All right. 332 00:13:08,306 --> 00:13:11,350 I'll read the words you wrote. "Hello, fellow American. 333 00:13:11,434 --> 00:13:13,186 This you should vote me. 334 00:13:13,269 --> 00:13:15,772 I leave power. Good. 335 00:13:15,855 --> 00:13:18,316 Thank you. Thank you. 336 00:13:18,399 --> 00:13:22,403 If you vote me, I am hot." What? 337 00:13:22,487 --> 00:13:25,281 "Taxes. They'll be lower, son. 338 00:13:25,364 --> 00:13:29,285 The democratic vote for me is right thing to do, Philadelphia. 339 00:13:29,368 --> 00:13:31,162 So do." 340 00:13:31,245 --> 00:13:33,164 This doesn't make any sense. 341 00:13:33,247 --> 00:13:36,375 All right. Well, then just say whatever you want. 342 00:13:36,459 --> 00:13:40,630 The battery's dead. It's gone. I gotta charge it up again. 343 00:13:42,215 --> 00:13:44,467 This one piece is makin' me nervous. 344 00:13:44,550 --> 00:13:45,927 - You seriously need to stop touching me. - This right here. 345 00:13:46,010 --> 00:13:47,595 I'm not kidding. Please stop touching me. 346 00:13:47,678 --> 00:13:49,013 This is really ridiculous. 347 00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:51,182 I'm stuffed in here like a jerk. 348 00:13:51,265 --> 00:13:52,600 Deandra, you look sensational. 349 00:13:52,683 --> 00:13:54,268 - No, I don't. - Just remember. 350 00:13:54,352 --> 00:13:56,604 Let Daddy do all the talkin'. 351 00:13:56,687 --> 00:14:00,066 Sorry I'm late. 352 00:14:00,149 --> 00:14:02,276 - Jack Stanford. - Frank Reynolds. 353 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:03,861 This here is my daughter, Deandra. 354 00:14:03,945 --> 00:14:05,822 - Hi. - Hi. 355 00:14:05,905 --> 00:14:08,574 Well, I never like to keep a beautiful woman waiting. 356 00:14:08,658 --> 00:14:10,701 Oh. Thanks. 357 00:14:10,785 --> 00:14:12,578 You see, uh, Mr. Stanford, 358 00:14:12,662 --> 00:14:15,498 I myself am a problem solver 359 00:14:15,581 --> 00:14:17,792 and you got a big problem on your hands. 360 00:14:17,875 --> 00:14:20,128 I'm afraid I'm not following. 361 00:14:20,211 --> 00:14:22,964 Check out the goods to my right. 362 00:14:23,047 --> 00:14:25,466 This pretty little lady is not only my daughter. 363 00:14:25,550 --> 00:14:29,262 She happens to be your biggest opponent in the election. 364 00:14:29,345 --> 00:14:30,805 Beauty and the beast. 365 00:14:32,974 --> 00:14:34,434 You're funny. 366 00:14:34,517 --> 00:14:36,644 Let the men do the work here, Dee. 367 00:14:36,727 --> 00:14:39,647 Now we can make this problem go away 368 00:14:39,730 --> 00:14:43,234 before it becomes a more expensive problem, 369 00:14:43,317 --> 00:14:47,155 if you catch my drift. 370 00:14:48,364 --> 00:14:52,368 Are you trying to solicit a bribe from me? 371 00:14:52,452 --> 00:14:54,036 I don't know. Am I? 372 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:55,997 'Cause if you are, 373 00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:59,625 not only is that illegal and highly unethical 374 00:14:59,709 --> 00:15:02,712 but you're doing it with the subtlety of a baboon. 375 00:15:02,795 --> 00:15:04,505 Let me take another approach here. 376 00:15:04,589 --> 00:15:05,756 - I tell you what. - What? 377 00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:09,260 Why don't we discuss this over dinner? 378 00:15:09,343 --> 00:15:11,429 Dinner. That sounds good. 379 00:15:11,512 --> 00:15:13,055 I was talking to her. 380 00:15:13,139 --> 00:15:14,599 Look, Jack, 381 00:15:14,682 --> 00:15:17,310 my little girl don't go nowhere without her old man. 382 00:15:17,393 --> 00:15:20,146 - Isn't that right, sweetie? - You're fired. 383 00:15:20,229 --> 00:15:22,607 Frank. Frankie, I gotta talk to you. 384 00:15:24,358 --> 00:15:25,485 - Not interested. - Look, man, 385 00:15:25,568 --> 00:15:27,737 - I'm in a lot of shit here okay. - So? 386 00:15:27,820 --> 00:15:29,989 I need to destroy Dennis. 387 00:15:31,866 --> 00:15:33,743 What do you have in mind? 388 00:15:35,077 --> 00:15:37,038 When Dennis Reynolds was a counselor 389 00:15:37,121 --> 00:15:40,458 at Camp Cumberland, he was sent home for the statutory rape 390 00:15:40,541 --> 00:15:42,502 of a teenage camper. 391 00:15:42,585 --> 00:15:45,963 A vote for Dennis Reynolds is a vote for underage rape. 392 00:15:46,047 --> 00:15:48,549 Dennis Reynolds, baby rapist. 393 00:15:48,633 --> 00:15:51,886 Don't let him rape you, Philadelphia. 394 00:15:53,679 --> 00:15:56,641 - This is a goddamn smear campaign. - You raped a girl? 395 00:15:56,724 --> 00:16:00,228 No, no. Okay. Rape? 396 00:16:00,311 --> 00:16:03,815 I was accused of. It was… Okay, statutory, first of all. 397 00:16:03,898 --> 00:16:06,484 Not… I kissed her. She was a year younger than me. 398 00:16:06,567 --> 00:16:10,029 That's not even statutory or anything. 399 00:16:10,113 --> 00:16:11,239 What's the note say? 400 00:16:11,322 --> 00:16:14,659 All right. Yeah. All right. 401 00:16:14,742 --> 00:16:16,786 Uh, "Meet." 402 00:16:16,869 --> 00:16:19,705 Starts out "Meet," and then there's, like, other stuff. 403 00:16:21,582 --> 00:16:23,292 "Meet me in the parking garage. Frank." 404 00:16:23,376 --> 00:16:25,670 - Yeah? - Yeah. 405 00:16:25,753 --> 00:16:27,839 You clearly have a learning disability, dude. 406 00:16:27,922 --> 00:16:30,091 - No, it's a trap though. - It's not a trap. Go see what he wants. 407 00:16:30,174 --> 00:16:31,259 - It's a trap. - It's not a trap! 408 00:16:31,342 --> 00:16:32,969 - Make this thing go away, Charlie. - All right. Okay. 409 00:16:33,052 --> 00:16:34,846 I'll get the… I'll get the master. 410 00:16:38,474 --> 00:16:39,767 Did you come alone? 411 00:16:39,851 --> 00:16:41,811 Yeah. 412 00:16:41,894 --> 00:16:43,146 Where'd you get that trench coat? 413 00:16:43,229 --> 00:16:45,356 - It's cool, huh? - It's very cool. 414 00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:47,233 - That was a smart buy. - Mmm-hmm. 415 00:16:47,316 --> 00:16:48,526 All right, you got the tape? 416 00:16:48,609 --> 00:16:50,027 Affirmative. 417 00:16:50,111 --> 00:16:51,362 Okay, what's this gonna take? 418 00:16:51,446 --> 00:16:53,865 You and Dennis gotta bow out of the race. 419 00:16:53,948 --> 00:16:55,825 - Not gonna happen. - Gotta happen. 420 00:16:55,908 --> 00:16:57,368 Not gonna happen. I want that tape. 421 00:16:58,661 --> 00:17:00,371 I'm gonna need you to beg. 422 00:17:00,455 --> 00:17:02,123 - Don't make me beg. - You gotta beg. 423 00:17:02,206 --> 00:17:04,667 - Seriously? - Seriously. Down. Down. 424 00:17:04,750 --> 00:17:06,586 All right. I know what you're talkin' about. 425 00:17:08,254 --> 00:17:09,380 What do you say? 426 00:17:09,464 --> 00:17:11,716 Please, can I have the tape now? 427 00:17:11,799 --> 00:17:13,885 - No. - God! Come on, Frank. 428 00:17:13,968 --> 00:17:15,720 What's this gonna take, man? 429 00:17:20,099 --> 00:17:21,559 What the hell is that? 430 00:17:21,642 --> 00:17:24,771 Charlie traded me his whole collection 431 00:17:24,854 --> 00:17:26,814 of Garbage Pail Kids for the tape. 432 00:17:26,898 --> 00:17:29,817 Oh, my God. This is bad. This is so bad, man. 433 00:17:29,901 --> 00:17:32,779 These things, Mac, you don't know how rare they are. 434 00:17:32,862 --> 00:17:34,989 These are rare. You can't find these. 435 00:17:35,072 --> 00:17:36,866 Bro, I am in some serious shit. 436 00:17:36,949 --> 00:17:38,242 I needed him to drop out. 437 00:17:38,326 --> 00:17:40,244 I don't care what you need. 438 00:17:40,328 --> 00:17:44,165 That is politics, bitch. 439 00:17:44,248 --> 00:17:47,376 I wanna tell you somethin'. I'm really glad you asked me out. 440 00:17:47,460 --> 00:17:48,544 Me too. 441 00:17:48,628 --> 00:17:50,213 How's that drink comin'? 442 00:17:50,296 --> 00:17:51,881 - Strong. - Yeah, yeah. 443 00:17:51,964 --> 00:17:54,592 I should really probably think about gettin' something to eat. 444 00:17:54,675 --> 00:17:56,427 Yeah. Still got a little left there. 445 00:17:56,511 --> 00:17:59,639 Not for long. 446 00:17:59,722 --> 00:18:01,390 Hey, have mine. 447 00:18:01,474 --> 00:18:04,018 Oh. You're such a gentleman. 448 00:18:04,102 --> 00:18:08,523 Are you gonna buy me some food at some point or… 449 00:18:08,606 --> 00:18:11,651 What do you say we get outta here? 450 00:18:11,734 --> 00:18:13,611 - Oh. - Who's the slut? 451 00:18:13,694 --> 00:18:15,113 - Honey, this isn't what… - Another one of your whores? 452 00:18:15,196 --> 00:18:16,489 Who do you think you are, Jack? 453 00:18:16,572 --> 00:18:17,698 - Bill Clinton? - What? 454 00:18:17,782 --> 00:18:18,908 You're a comptroller. 455 00:18:18,991 --> 00:18:20,326 - Did he tell you he had a wife? - No. 456 00:18:20,409 --> 00:18:22,036 Did he tell you that, you goddamn whore? 457 00:18:22,120 --> 00:18:23,830 - No. - Whoa! Whoa! 458 00:18:23,913 --> 00:18:25,581 - You bitch! - All right. 459 00:18:28,793 --> 00:18:31,671 Hey! Pour me a shot there, buddy boy. I got it. 460 00:18:31,754 --> 00:18:33,548 - Oh, what'd you get? - I got the smear tape. 461 00:18:33,631 --> 00:18:35,466 Oh, hey, man. That's great. 462 00:18:35,550 --> 00:18:37,260 Yes! 463 00:18:37,343 --> 00:18:40,847 Whoa. Sweet Dee. What the hell's goin' on with you? 464 00:18:40,930 --> 00:18:43,141 Screw politicians. Charlie, pour me a shot. 465 00:18:43,224 --> 00:18:45,560 No time for that. Okay, we gotta get back out on that campaign trail. 466 00:18:45,643 --> 00:18:47,395 - What do you say? - Oh, yeah. 467 00:18:47,478 --> 00:18:49,063 Hey, man, I was doin' some thinking about that. 468 00:18:49,147 --> 00:18:51,607 I don't wanna do that anymore. 469 00:18:51,691 --> 00:18:53,109 What? 470 00:18:53,192 --> 00:18:55,486 - Oh, yeah. I googled "Comptroller." - Yeah? 471 00:18:55,570 --> 00:18:58,364 Turns out that this guy's really just a glorified accountant. 472 00:18:58,448 --> 00:18:59,907 You know what I mean? And I hate doing math. 473 00:18:59,991 --> 00:19:01,909 I mean, it sounds like a ton of work. 474 00:19:01,993 --> 00:19:03,494 - You know what I'm sayin'? I hate work. - No. 475 00:19:03,578 --> 00:19:06,581 These guys, they make less than teachers. It's a… 476 00:19:06,664 --> 00:19:08,124 So what? 477 00:19:08,207 --> 00:19:09,625 So I'm not doing it anymore. 478 00:19:10,751 --> 00:19:12,420 No. You have to run. 479 00:19:12,503 --> 00:19:17,258 - No, I don't. - Yeah. Yeah, you do. 480 00:19:17,341 --> 00:19:19,510 - No, I don't. - Yeah, you do. 481 00:19:19,594 --> 00:19:21,512 No, I don't. You're not the boss of me. 482 00:19:21,596 --> 00:19:23,848 Ah! I'm the campaign manager. 483 00:19:23,931 --> 00:19:27,101 Ah! You're fired. 484 00:19:28,269 --> 00:19:29,896 I traded all my Garbage Pail Kids for you. 485 00:19:29,979 --> 00:19:31,606 Well, that was stupid. 486 00:19:47,622 --> 00:19:50,249 Bit of an overreaction, don't you think? 487 00:19:50,333 --> 00:19:52,251 You look like a whore. 488 00:19:55,922 --> 00:19:57,840 Psst. You come alone? 489 00:19:57,924 --> 00:19:59,008 Yeah. 490 00:19:59,091 --> 00:20:00,843 Look, man, why couldn't we just meet in your apartment? 491 00:20:00,927 --> 00:20:02,970 It's not safe. Is that Frank's trench coat? 492 00:20:03,054 --> 00:20:04,806 - Yeah. Pretty sweet, right? - Totally sweet. 493 00:20:04,889 --> 00:20:06,307 Yeah. Listen, dude. I need your help, okay? 494 00:20:06,390 --> 00:20:07,850 - I'm in a lot of shit. - Okay, I'm listening. 495 00:20:07,934 --> 00:20:09,894 I need to make Dennis disappear. 496 00:20:09,977 --> 00:20:11,229 Ah! Ah! 497 00:20:11,312 --> 00:20:12,855 - That's what I'm talkin' about. - Really? 498 00:20:12,939 --> 00:20:14,482 All right. Yeah. I was thinkin' that same thing, man. 499 00:20:14,565 --> 00:20:16,359 That's great, because I know you guys have become close recently. 500 00:20:16,442 --> 00:20:18,611 No. Not that close. Okay. How do you wanna do this thing? 501 00:20:18,694 --> 00:20:21,155 Look, if we use a gun, we're definitely gonna need a silencer. 502 00:20:21,239 --> 00:20:22,657 - A gun? - Fine. No guns. No guns. 503 00:20:22,740 --> 00:20:24,742 Uh, piano wire, okay? Maybe we can use some piano wire. 504 00:20:24,826 --> 00:20:26,410 Look, whatever it is, 505 00:20:26,494 --> 00:20:29,080 I gotta be the guy to pull the trigger on this thing. 506 00:20:29,163 --> 00:20:32,375 Retard. I'm talking about taking Dennis to Atlantic City 507 00:20:32,458 --> 00:20:34,377 for a couple of days until the election is over. 508 00:20:34,460 --> 00:20:37,046 What are you talkin' about? 509 00:20:37,130 --> 00:20:39,298 Atlantic City. That's good. 510 00:20:39,382 --> 00:20:40,800 Just take him down to the shore 511 00:20:40,883 --> 00:20:41,968 - for a couple of days. - I'll take him to the shore. 512 00:20:42,051 --> 00:20:44,512 - And we'll go to Atlantic City. - What's wrong with you? 513 00:20:44,595 --> 00:20:47,098 I give the guy my blood, sweat and tears, right? 514 00:20:47,181 --> 00:20:48,766 And my Garbage Pail Kids. 515 00:20:48,850 --> 00:20:51,936 And he just drops right out of the race on me. 516 00:20:52,019 --> 00:20:53,855 - Dennis dropped out? - He dropped right out of the race. 517 00:20:53,938 --> 00:20:56,524 So, like, you know, I'm out of my Garbage Pail Kid. And, like… 518 00:20:56,607 --> 00:20:59,527 if we use… If we used piano wire on him for a sec. 519 00:20:59,610 --> 00:21:02,488 - As long as we hurt him a little bit. - Sorry, Charlie. Plan's off. 520 00:21:02,572 --> 00:21:04,157 - What are you doin'? - I'm gonna go collect my money. 521 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:06,451 Looks like you bitches shouldn't have fired me in the first place. 522 00:21:06,534 --> 00:21:09,287 Are you kiddin' me? Are you kiddin' me with that? 523 00:21:09,370 --> 00:21:10,705 I'm gonna buy myself a car. 524 00:21:10,788 --> 00:21:13,082 I am gonna drive as far away from this goddamn city. 525 00:21:13,166 --> 00:21:15,460 Hey, Mac. Where you runnin' to? 526 00:21:15,543 --> 00:21:16,794 Huh? 527 00:21:16,878 --> 00:21:18,754 Goin' to visit your friend over at the union? 528 00:21:20,423 --> 00:21:22,550 What's goin' on? Is there a problem? 529 00:21:22,633 --> 00:21:25,970 I don't know. Phil, is there a problem? 530 00:21:26,053 --> 00:21:28,055 Conspiracy to solicit a bribe. 531 00:21:28,139 --> 00:21:29,515 Racketeering. 532 00:21:29,599 --> 00:21:31,017 I'd say there's a big problem. 533 00:21:31,100 --> 00:21:33,686 Your buddy over at the union came to see us recently. 534 00:21:33,770 --> 00:21:36,773 Told us about your interest in politics. 535 00:21:36,856 --> 00:21:38,191 He ratted you out, Mac. 536 00:21:38,274 --> 00:21:41,152 Apparently, you called him a nerd, Mac. 537 00:21:41,235 --> 00:21:43,946 Some people don't take kindly to that type of insult. 538 00:21:44,030 --> 00:21:46,199 Yeah. You're goin' away for a long time 539 00:21:46,282 --> 00:21:49,076 and prison can be a very unpleasant place 540 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,662 for a good-lookin' young man like yourself. 541 00:21:51,746 --> 00:21:54,582 Oh, yeah. They're gonna tear through you like Kleenex. 542 00:21:54,665 --> 00:21:59,670 That is, of course, unless you got something to make it worth our while. 543 00:22:01,631 --> 00:22:03,466 Are you soliciting a bribe from me? 544 00:22:05,676 --> 00:22:08,095 Sorry, pal. That's politics.