1 00:00:00,308 --> 00:00:01,685 Employee evaluation. 2 00:00:01,768 --> 00:00:05,021 This bar is a business, and we're gonna start acting like one. 3 00:00:05,188 --> 00:00:06,648 I do not want to start acting like a business 4 00:00:06,731 --> 00:00:09,234 because that sounds boring as shit. 5 00:00:09,317 --> 00:00:11,236 Yeah, that sounds terrible. Plus this thing's 10 pages long. 6 00:00:11,361 --> 00:00:13,238 You know what? I'm not gonna fill it out. 7 00:00:13,321 --> 00:00:15,407 - Well, that's gonna affect your rank. - What rank? 8 00:00:15,532 --> 00:00:17,117 I put us all on a ranking system 9 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:19,661 so you kids would care about your jobs. 10 00:00:19,744 --> 00:00:21,288 - Are we ranked now? - Yes, we are. 11 00:00:21,371 --> 00:00:23,415 - What's my rank? - Second, after me. 12 00:00:23,498 --> 00:00:25,458 - Wait! What's my rank? - You're third. 13 00:00:25,542 --> 00:00:27,586 What? Why am I third? 14 00:00:27,669 --> 00:00:30,755 - Too volatile. - Bullshit! That is bullshit! 15 00:00:30,839 --> 00:00:33,592 - Okay, okay. What am I? - You're fifth. 16 00:00:33,675 --> 00:00:35,802 Fifth? That's last. Why in the hell would I be last? 17 00:00:35,886 --> 00:00:37,804 Too much lip and very sassy. 18 00:00:37,888 --> 00:00:39,848 Sassy? That doesn't make sense. 19 00:00:39,931 --> 00:00:41,308 Like right now. You just don't know when to shut up. 20 00:00:41,391 --> 00:00:42,392 Hello! 21 00:00:42,475 --> 00:00:44,352 You are late. 22 00:00:44,436 --> 00:00:46,688 What if I told you I just signed the bar up to host a dance competition 23 00:00:46,771 --> 00:00:51,443 that's gonna be hosted live by the Q Crew on 102 Radio! 24 00:00:51,526 --> 00:00:53,778 Whoa! The Q Crew! Good work! 25 00:00:53,862 --> 00:00:57,657 Oh, yeah, yeah. That would be a good idea, except it's not a dance contest. 26 00:00:57,741 --> 00:01:00,243 - It's a dance marathon. - What's the point? 27 00:01:00,327 --> 00:01:01,536 It's an endurance competition. 28 00:01:01,620 --> 00:01:04,456 I guess we're gonna be enduring free promotion on the radio. 29 00:01:04,539 --> 00:01:06,416 Yeah. "Location, Paddy's Bar. 30 00:01:06,541 --> 00:01:09,294 "Time, Saturday. Date, With Charlie Kelly. 31 00:01:09,377 --> 00:01:11,796 "Prize, Paddy's Pub"? 32 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:13,924 Whoa! Wait a minute! You put the bar up as a prize? 33 00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:17,219 No, no. I put the bar under the "Pride" section, things that you're proud of. 34 00:01:17,344 --> 00:01:19,596 It's a "Z," Charlie! Prize! 35 00:01:19,679 --> 00:01:22,307 - Didn't you read that goddamn thing? - I gave it a once-over! 36 00:01:22,432 --> 00:01:24,267 Your illiteracy has screwed us again, Charlie! 37 00:01:24,351 --> 00:01:25,685 Your illiteracy is screwing us! 38 00:01:25,769 --> 00:01:27,562 That doesn't make any sense! 39 00:01:27,646 --> 00:01:28,647 I have an important question. 40 00:01:28,730 --> 00:01:31,149 Does this make Charlie number five and I'm number four? 41 00:01:31,233 --> 00:01:32,609 Because in light of this new information… 42 00:01:32,692 --> 00:01:33,693 Dee! Shut up! 43 00:01:33,777 --> 00:01:36,071 Stop with the sass! This is what Frank is talking about! 44 00:01:36,154 --> 00:01:37,197 You never know when to shut up. 45 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:40,033 - Maybe this thing isn't legal. - No, it's legal. There was a lawyer there. 46 00:01:40,116 --> 00:01:41,368 He stamped it and everything. 47 00:01:41,451 --> 00:01:45,121 - What are we gonna do now? - We're gonna dance our asses off! 48 00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:25,203 Hey, everybody. 49 00:02:25,328 --> 00:02:28,290 DJ Squirrely D and Fat Michael here from Q102. 50 00:02:28,373 --> 00:02:29,374 The Q Crew. 51 00:02:29,499 --> 00:02:31,418 Coming to you live from Paddy's Pub! 52 00:02:31,501 --> 00:02:33,753 Kicking off our old-time dance marathon. 53 00:02:33,837 --> 00:02:37,048 Where the owners have put up their bar as the first prize. 54 00:02:37,132 --> 00:02:39,342 Hey, how about a quick recap of the rules for our listeners 55 00:02:39,426 --> 00:02:40,886 who just tuned in. Fat Michael! 56 00:02:40,969 --> 00:02:43,972 All dancers must remain on their feet and dancing at all times. 57 00:02:44,055 --> 00:02:46,516 If you drop to the floor, you are out. 58 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,476 - People, this could take hours. - It could take days. 59 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:51,980 It could take weeks. So stay tuned, 'cause someone's gonna win a bar! 60 00:02:52,063 --> 00:02:54,608 - But only right here on Q102. - The Q Crew! 61 00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:57,194 Good job, Charlie. Good work. 62 00:02:57,277 --> 00:02:59,196 Take it easy, man, and enjoy yourself, 63 00:02:59,279 --> 00:03:01,990 'cause I'm gonna win this thing with this right here! 64 00:03:02,073 --> 00:03:04,451 - What the hell is that? - Eighth grade dance competition, buddy. 65 00:03:04,576 --> 00:03:05,952 I won to this song. 66 00:03:06,077 --> 00:03:07,704 It's an endurance competition, Charlie. 67 00:03:07,787 --> 00:03:10,248 We're not gonna win the bar back with some dance you did in 1989. 68 00:03:10,373 --> 00:03:12,667 They don't care if you can dance well. It's a marathon. 69 00:03:12,751 --> 00:03:14,836 - Whoo! What's up, assholes? - Ooh! 70 00:03:14,920 --> 00:03:17,422 - What the hell you doing here? - I'm here to win your bar. 71 00:03:17,547 --> 00:03:19,591 Ooh! Awesome. This whole thing was a mistake. 72 00:03:19,674 --> 00:03:21,009 So maybe you can help us win the bar back. 73 00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:23,720 Really? Why would I ever help you do anything? 74 00:03:23,803 --> 00:03:25,263 All you've ever done… Stop. 75 00:03:25,347 --> 00:03:28,433 All you've ever done is screw me over. Now I'm here to win back your bar. 76 00:03:28,558 --> 00:03:30,227 - We're good though, right? - Go to hell. 77 00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:31,895 Hey, do you want to partner up in this dance competition? 78 00:03:31,978 --> 00:03:33,396 Stop touching me, Charlie. 79 00:03:33,522 --> 00:03:37,567 Hello, jerks. Oh! Surprised to see me back? 80 00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:40,570 Rickety Cricket. I suppose you're here to win the bar because we ruined your life. 81 00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:44,407 Good guess. And I'm gonna win this bar with the help of my shiny new legs. 82 00:03:44,491 --> 00:03:46,159 The latest leg brace technology 83 00:03:46,284 --> 00:03:48,495 courtesy of the great state of Pennsylvania. 84 00:03:48,620 --> 00:03:51,748 Hey. Maybe we should partner up, ruin their lives together. 85 00:03:51,915 --> 00:03:53,333 Maybe we should. 86 00:03:53,416 --> 00:03:55,377 - Jealous? - No. 87 00:03:55,502 --> 00:03:57,170 - Let's go, Cricket. - It's Matthew. 88 00:03:57,337 --> 00:03:58,338 Holy shit. 89 00:03:58,421 --> 00:04:00,173 What's going on with Rickety Cricket's new legs? 90 00:04:00,257 --> 00:04:02,467 - They look so sturdy. - He's, like, half machine. 91 00:04:02,634 --> 00:04:05,595 He's got, like, a liquid hydraulic cooling system going on with that thing. 92 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:08,139 That's cheating, dude. He's gonna win with those things, man. 93 00:04:08,223 --> 00:04:11,226 - It's like an exoskeleton. - It's exactly like an exoskeleton! 94 00:04:11,309 --> 00:04:12,853 - We'll have to resort to foul play. - Yeah, yeah. 95 00:04:12,936 --> 00:04:15,522 Look, there's no point in taking any chances. Let's get dirty. 96 00:04:15,605 --> 00:04:18,191 Maybe he'll sweat so much he'll rust out those bionic legs. 97 00:04:18,275 --> 00:04:19,943 I think we should just kick him in the dick! 98 00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:22,863 Oh, God. What is that awful noise? 99 00:04:23,446 --> 00:04:24,865 We got our first dance-off challenge! 100 00:04:24,948 --> 00:04:28,201 I need Mac to collect his dignity and step to the center of this dance floor. 101 00:04:28,285 --> 00:04:30,245 What? 102 00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:31,997 We've only been dancing for two minutes. 103 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:33,248 Who's challenged me to a dance off? 104 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,970 Oh, shit. 105 00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:50,056 All right, folks. Our two dancers have one song to strut… 106 00:04:50,140 --> 00:04:51,600 Their stuff! 107 00:04:51,683 --> 00:04:54,895 The loser will have to wear this 25-pound keg around his neck 108 00:04:54,978 --> 00:04:57,189 - for the rest of the competition. - Talk about a ball and chain. 109 00:04:57,272 --> 00:04:59,316 - I'm going through a messy divorce. - He ain't lying. 110 00:04:59,441 --> 00:05:01,651 - He's not gonna go down easy. - No way, dude. 111 00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:05,322 He's fueled by vengeance and reinforced with space-age technology. 112 00:05:05,405 --> 00:05:07,282 And go! 113 00:05:07,449 --> 00:05:09,659 My legs! 114 00:05:10,619 --> 00:05:14,831 - The technology failed me! - He's fallen and he can't get up! 115 00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:17,209 - I am stealing that line! - It's already yours! 116 00:05:17,292 --> 00:05:19,794 All right, folks. That's our first casualty of the night. 117 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:21,880 But stay tuned. There's plenty more where that came from. 118 00:05:21,963 --> 00:05:23,548 Why don't we mix things up a little bit… 119 00:05:23,632 --> 00:05:24,633 By slowing things down. 120 00:05:24,716 --> 00:05:27,511 Everybody couple up and hit the dance floor. 121 00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:29,387 Don't be afraid to get "sextra" close. 122 00:05:29,471 --> 00:05:32,682 - Osmond close on Q102. - The Q Crew. 123 00:05:34,893 --> 00:05:37,854 I do not even understand the smell coming from your body, dude. 124 00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:40,774 Relax, dude. I forgot to put on deodorant. 125 00:05:40,857 --> 00:05:42,526 - You gonna give me shit all day? - I have never once 126 00:05:42,651 --> 00:05:44,110 seen you wear deodorant, Charlie. 127 00:05:44,194 --> 00:05:46,112 You've never once seen me wash my testicles, 128 00:05:46,196 --> 00:05:47,447 but that doesn't mean I don't do it every Friday. 129 00:05:47,531 --> 00:05:49,324 And I swear to God you've got lice, man. 130 00:05:49,449 --> 00:05:51,159 I see little bugs crawling all over your body. 131 00:05:51,326 --> 00:05:52,410 That's a man wearing glitter. 132 00:05:52,494 --> 00:05:54,746 I tried to make myself look a little fancy for this dance competition. 133 00:05:54,829 --> 00:05:55,956 Oh, Mr. Fancy Pants. 134 00:05:56,039 --> 00:05:58,500 Excuse me. I'm just trying to have a good competition here. 135 00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:00,252 I gotta get out of here. When is the partner switch? 136 00:06:00,335 --> 00:06:02,170 Ooh, you guys, this could be a great idea 137 00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:04,548 to shake things up a little bit with the other contestants. 138 00:06:04,673 --> 00:06:06,925 You know, use the partner switch to get inside people's heads. 139 00:06:07,008 --> 00:06:09,469 Why is the person that's ranked last trying to hatch a plan? 140 00:06:09,553 --> 00:06:12,597 - Yeah, I wonder that too. - I just came up with an idea though. 141 00:06:12,681 --> 00:06:14,015 This could be a good opportunity 142 00:06:14,099 --> 00:06:16,226 to shake things up with the other contestants. 143 00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:19,980 We could use this partner switch to get into people's heads. 144 00:06:20,063 --> 00:06:22,023 - Now you're talking! - Are you being serious? 145 00:06:22,107 --> 00:06:23,400 Shut up, Dee. We're hatching a plan. 146 00:06:23,525 --> 00:06:26,236 But we're gonna need a man on the outside. Frank, that's you. 147 00:06:26,361 --> 00:06:28,488 Why? Because I'm old? That's bullshit! 148 00:06:28,572 --> 00:06:30,490 No, dude. Because you're the best at scheming. 149 00:06:30,574 --> 00:06:33,243 We need you on the outside running things. Take a knee. 150 00:06:33,368 --> 00:06:35,871 - Kneel down. - Take a knee for the team, buddy. 151 00:06:36,037 --> 00:06:38,081 Yeah, there you go! Yeah! 152 00:06:38,164 --> 00:06:40,292 - Ooh! Another one bites the dust. - Q Crew! 153 00:06:40,375 --> 00:06:43,003 We did just screw him over to kick him out of the contest, right? 154 00:06:43,086 --> 00:06:45,255 - Absolutely, yeah. - What? 155 00:06:45,380 --> 00:06:49,259 And by the way, Frank, when we get the bar back, you're ranked last! 156 00:06:49,342 --> 00:06:52,012 You can't rank me last. I created the ranking system. 157 00:06:52,095 --> 00:06:53,221 Well, then you shouldn't have dropped out of the 158 00:06:53,305 --> 00:06:55,015 dance marathon, you old bitch. 159 00:06:55,098 --> 00:06:57,267 You lousy bastards. 160 00:06:57,350 --> 00:07:00,061 So who's next? Who's looking good out there? 161 00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:03,190 That young couple over there looks pretty limber. We should take them out. 162 00:07:03,273 --> 00:07:04,649 Okay, it's settled then. I'll take the girl. 163 00:07:04,774 --> 00:07:06,610 I'm gonna dance with the waitress for a little while. 164 00:07:06,735 --> 00:07:08,737 That's not gonna work. Mac, take the waitress. 165 00:07:08,820 --> 00:07:10,655 You can tire her out with your spastic movement. 166 00:07:10,780 --> 00:07:12,282 I'll tire her out with my awesome movements. 167 00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:13,408 Yeah, whatever it is. 168 00:07:13,491 --> 00:07:15,619 Get my blessings if ya bust lip then ya gonna get 169 00:07:15,744 --> 00:07:16,995 You should get into it more, Dee. 170 00:07:17,078 --> 00:07:19,664 When you walk down the block and you start hear me talk, man, this… 171 00:07:24,252 --> 00:07:27,297 Oh, this is great, Dee. I mean, this is so restful. 172 00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:29,466 I'm really building up my reserves for later, you know? 173 00:07:29,549 --> 00:07:30,592 Mmm, yeah. 174 00:07:30,675 --> 00:07:32,385 I'm just really glad I can be of help, Charlie. 175 00:07:32,469 --> 00:07:33,470 Thank you. 176 00:07:35,639 --> 00:07:37,390 Mac and the waitress are getting pretty close. 177 00:07:37,891 --> 00:07:39,643 What's the matter? Can't keep up? 178 00:07:39,768 --> 00:07:41,561 No, I can't understand why you're dancing like that. 179 00:07:41,645 --> 00:07:43,146 I feel like you're gonna hit me. 180 00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:44,814 Just… Please don't hit me. 181 00:07:44,940 --> 00:07:47,234 Good, good. Don't be afraid to get in real close, okay? 182 00:07:47,317 --> 00:07:48,318 Okay. 183 00:07:48,485 --> 00:07:50,487 How long have you been a dance instructor? 184 00:07:50,570 --> 00:07:52,239 Oh, a long time. Years. 185 00:07:52,322 --> 00:07:54,241 My fiance and I, we're not really dancers. 186 00:07:54,324 --> 00:07:57,202 We just joined this competition because we both got laid off recently… 187 00:07:57,285 --> 00:07:59,329 Right, right, okay. I'm gonna dip you down now, okay? 188 00:07:59,454 --> 00:08:02,290 Just stick your knee into my groin, just like that. 189 00:08:02,374 --> 00:08:05,252 Grind your hips and pulse your thighs. Ready? Go. 190 00:08:07,212 --> 00:08:09,256 What the hell are you doing? 191 00:08:09,339 --> 00:08:11,508 - Relax, sweetie. He's an instructor. - Yeah. 192 00:08:11,591 --> 00:08:13,343 He's showing me a new dance. What's it called again? 193 00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:15,929 - The Rococo Bang. - Oh, that's funny. 194 00:08:16,012 --> 00:08:18,139 - Isn't it? - Kind of looks like he's feeling you up. 195 00:08:18,223 --> 00:08:20,433 I don't want to get in the middle of anything here, okay? 196 00:08:20,517 --> 00:08:22,936 I'm just trying to teach your fiancee a new dance. It's pretty cool. 197 00:08:23,019 --> 00:08:24,229 You don't want to deprive her of that, do you? 198 00:08:24,312 --> 00:08:26,523 Honey, I think a little dance instruction might help us 199 00:08:26,606 --> 00:08:27,732 last longer in the competition. 200 00:08:28,358 --> 00:08:32,028 - All right. Just make it quick. - I'll make it quick. 201 00:08:32,404 --> 00:08:36,199 All right now, Gloria, for this next part you're gonna want to grip my buttocks. 202 00:08:36,324 --> 00:08:37,325 Okay. Like that? 203 00:08:37,409 --> 00:08:39,160 Right. Now we're gonna go down nice and low. 204 00:08:39,244 --> 00:08:44,541 Now grind and shift and around and push and feel and grip and grip. 205 00:08:44,624 --> 00:08:46,084 - That's… Yeah. - Good. 206 00:08:48,628 --> 00:08:50,714 - I'm over it anyway. - Are you? 207 00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:54,134 So let's not worry about it. Let's just talk about other things for a little bit. 208 00:08:54,217 --> 00:08:56,386 I'm glad you're over it, because he's definitely gonna bang her. 209 00:08:56,469 --> 00:08:58,930 - He's gonna bang her? - Oh, come on! You're not over it! 210 00:08:59,014 --> 00:09:01,016 Look, I gotta stop that. I can't let that go on. 211 00:09:01,099 --> 00:09:04,769 You know what I think you gotta do? You gotta get Mac out of this competition. 212 00:09:04,853 --> 00:09:07,439 - Yes! Yes! I gotta get him out. - You gotta get rid of him. 213 00:09:07,564 --> 00:09:10,233 - All right, how would I do that? - I got an idea. 214 00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:13,778 They burned you, too, didn't they? 215 00:09:15,822 --> 00:09:17,574 I know how it feels. 216 00:09:17,741 --> 00:09:20,368 The pain, the hurt. 217 00:09:20,452 --> 00:09:25,373 How about you and me, we join forces, and we make things right? 218 00:09:25,457 --> 00:09:26,875 Get lost, street rat! 219 00:09:26,958 --> 00:09:29,127 I'm not a street… I was a man of the cl… 220 00:09:29,628 --> 00:09:33,882 Look, I want these guys, Frank. I want 'em! 221 00:09:33,965 --> 00:09:36,968 And I will stalk the streets and live in the shadows of the night 222 00:09:37,052 --> 00:09:39,930 until the streets of Philadelphia run red with their blood! 223 00:09:40,138 --> 00:09:42,474 - You got a lot of anger in you, kid. - You're damn right! 224 00:09:42,599 --> 00:09:44,309 Are you in or you out? 225 00:09:45,435 --> 00:09:46,811 - I'm in. - Yeah! 226 00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:52,984 Whoo! Here he is. Hey, bro. What a competition, huh? 227 00:09:53,068 --> 00:09:54,945 Saw you dancing with the waitress. 228 00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:58,490 But I'm not jealous. I'm very impressed with your dance moves. 229 00:09:58,573 --> 00:10:00,742 - Thank you, Charlie. Thank you. - Much better dancing than 230 00:10:00,825 --> 00:10:02,827 - people give you credit for. - I've always thought that. 231 00:10:02,911 --> 00:10:04,538 - That whole elbow thing… - You like the elbow thing? 232 00:10:04,621 --> 00:10:07,499 Great! It's a very specifically choreographed… 233 00:10:07,582 --> 00:10:09,543 - I'll show it to you one day. - I don't want to learn it. 234 00:10:09,668 --> 00:10:11,419 You probably couldn't pull it off anyway. 235 00:10:11,503 --> 00:10:13,547 Hey, man. How do you feel about Dennis? 236 00:10:13,630 --> 00:10:16,550 Dennis? Dennis has been driving me crazy. 237 00:10:17,133 --> 00:10:19,553 I think… I feel like he's a little jealous. 238 00:10:19,636 --> 00:10:20,637 And nervous. 239 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:24,015 Nervous that you're gonna be ranked number one when this whole thing goes down. 240 00:10:24,850 --> 00:10:27,435 - You think so? - Absolutely! 241 00:10:27,519 --> 00:10:30,355 First of all, you deserve to be ranked number one at the bar. 242 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:31,857 I mean, that's just a fact. 243 00:10:31,982 --> 00:10:34,776 I think I do, dude. I think I deserve to be number one. 244 00:10:34,860 --> 00:10:38,822 I've been working so hard for so many years. The cream always rises to the top. 245 00:10:38,905 --> 00:10:40,240 And you're, like, made of cream, dude, 246 00:10:40,365 --> 00:10:41,950 and your cream is all over his face, man. 247 00:10:42,033 --> 00:10:44,286 - That pisses him off. - He hates that shit, dude. 248 00:10:44,369 --> 00:10:46,913 I'm always putting my cream all over his face, and it pisses him off. 249 00:10:46,997 --> 00:10:48,039 Oh, my God. 250 00:10:48,123 --> 00:10:49,666 I think we need to take Dennis out. 251 00:10:50,375 --> 00:10:51,918 - You think? - Yes! 252 00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:55,088 - And there's only one way to do it. - What's that? 253 00:11:00,886 --> 00:11:03,680 - You don't want to do this, bro. - Oh, I think I do, buddy. 254 00:11:03,763 --> 00:11:06,474 'Cause I got the moves that are gonna make me number one. 255 00:11:06,558 --> 00:11:07,934 Why don't you just go with the best dancer? 256 00:11:10,228 --> 00:11:11,229 Hit it. 257 00:11:11,313 --> 00:11:13,190 That girl is poison 258 00:11:17,611 --> 00:11:21,323 Never trust a big butt and a smile that girl is poison 259 00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:23,283 Poison 260 00:11:26,453 --> 00:11:30,916 If I were you I'd take precaution 261 00:11:30,999 --> 00:11:34,586 Before I start to leave fly girl 262 00:11:34,669 --> 00:11:36,671 Oh, God damn it! 263 00:11:36,755 --> 00:11:40,383 Well, glad that's settled. I think I'm gonna go get in that chick's pants now. 264 00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:42,552 I thought they were engaged, dude. 265 00:11:42,636 --> 00:11:45,472 "Engaged." That's just a word. It doesn't mean anything. 266 00:11:45,597 --> 00:11:47,557 It means they're getting married. 267 00:11:47,641 --> 00:11:49,601 Married, engaged. They're just words, you know? 268 00:11:49,726 --> 00:11:52,687 My parents were married and engaged once. You saw how that worked out. 269 00:11:52,771 --> 00:11:54,189 All right. I'm gonna go bang that chick. 270 00:11:54,272 --> 00:11:56,316 Enjoy wearing that keg for the rest of the competition. 271 00:11:56,441 --> 00:11:58,318 Yeah. Yeah, that's good. 272 00:11:58,443 --> 00:12:00,362 Looking a little stiff there, partner. 273 00:12:00,445 --> 00:12:02,906 - Want me to give you a couple pointers? - That's okay. 274 00:12:02,989 --> 00:12:05,951 - Come on, man. Let me show you some moves. - He's just trying to help. 275 00:12:06,034 --> 00:12:08,495 - All right, fine. - Yeah? All right, here we go. 276 00:12:08,578 --> 00:12:10,622 I'm gonna pretend like you're Gloria, okay? 277 00:12:10,705 --> 00:12:14,709 Now, you're not nearly as beautiful as she is, but I can use my imagination. 278 00:12:14,793 --> 00:12:17,379 What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna teach you how 279 00:12:17,462 --> 00:12:18,547 to dip her. That's really important. 280 00:12:18,630 --> 00:12:21,758 I'm gonna put my arm around your waist just like that. Don't stop. Keep moving. 281 00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:23,176 We don't want you out of the competition, right? 282 00:12:23,260 --> 00:12:24,261 No! 283 00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:27,681 Then I'm gonna bend my knees and dip you down real low. 284 00:12:27,764 --> 00:12:29,057 My goodness! What happened? You lost your grip? 285 00:12:30,267 --> 00:12:32,394 - You dropped me on purpose, asshole! - Calm down, Robert. 286 00:12:32,477 --> 00:12:34,145 It's perfectly natural to blame the teacher at first. 287 00:12:34,271 --> 00:12:35,564 We're all feeling a little tired. 288 00:12:35,647 --> 00:12:36,982 You son of a bitch! 289 00:12:37,065 --> 00:12:39,025 Robert, stop. Come on. It was an accident. 290 00:12:39,150 --> 00:12:41,653 Oh, come on! Let's get out of here, Gloria! 291 00:12:41,778 --> 00:12:43,154 Wait a second, Robert. That's not a good idea. 292 00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:45,574 Gloria, you've come this far. You don't want to stop now. 293 00:12:45,657 --> 00:12:49,202 Wow. Butt out, man. This is none of your business. Now come on, honey! 294 00:12:49,286 --> 00:12:51,705 Robert, we came here to win. We need this! 295 00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:56,126 Wow. He's a violent guy. 296 00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:58,295 I know. I hate it when he gets like that. 297 00:12:58,378 --> 00:12:59,963 Gotta be careful with that one. 298 00:13:00,338 --> 00:13:01,965 God damn it. 299 00:13:02,048 --> 00:13:04,092 I feel your pain, Mac. 300 00:13:04,176 --> 00:13:07,137 - We all do. - What the hell's going on out here? 301 00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:09,598 - We're making brownies. - The drug-filled kind. 302 00:13:09,681 --> 00:13:11,766 - Shut up, Cricket! - What's he talking about, Frank? 303 00:13:11,850 --> 00:13:14,853 They're filled with sedatives. 304 00:13:14,978 --> 00:13:18,690 You want to help me distribute them? I'll make you my number two. 305 00:13:18,773 --> 00:13:20,817 You're not even in the contest any more, bro. 306 00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:21,985 I certainly am. 307 00:13:22,068 --> 00:13:23,987 I have an inside horse. 308 00:13:24,070 --> 00:13:26,531 You see this homeless gentleman? 309 00:13:26,656 --> 00:13:28,533 He wins, I win. 310 00:13:28,658 --> 00:13:30,577 Come on, Mac. Join our crew. 311 00:13:30,660 --> 00:13:33,538 Shut up, you goddamn street rat! Keep working! 312 00:13:33,663 --> 00:13:36,666 You are on your way out. 313 00:13:36,750 --> 00:13:40,545 So you might as well go out with a bang and have some insurance. 314 00:13:40,629 --> 00:13:43,340 Okay, I'm in. But I don't know how much longer I can last here, Frank. 315 00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:44,633 This thing's killing my back. 316 00:13:44,758 --> 00:13:46,384 I'll come up with a rig. 317 00:13:46,468 --> 00:13:49,221 - Definitely. - Shut up, street rat. 318 00:13:55,185 --> 00:13:58,522 Wow. He's getting pretty close to that pretty girl, huh? 319 00:13:58,605 --> 00:14:00,857 - Yeah. - You gotta make him jealous. 320 00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:03,860 I don't want to make him jealous. I want to win your bar. 321 00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:04,945 Oh. Okay. 322 00:14:05,028 --> 00:14:06,863 How do you think I could make him jealous? 323 00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:09,533 I'll tell you exactly what you need to do. See that homeless guy? 324 00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:12,369 - You gotta dance with him. - That doesn't make any sense. 325 00:14:12,452 --> 00:14:13,787 It makes sense. You're tired. 326 00:14:13,870 --> 00:14:16,122 I am, but I don't see how that makes sense. 327 00:14:16,248 --> 00:14:18,875 - Okay, it's reverse psychology. - No, it's not. 328 00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:22,045 All right. You know what? I'm his sister. 329 00:14:22,128 --> 00:14:24,631 I know him really well. I know him a lot better than you. 330 00:14:24,714 --> 00:14:27,467 I'm telling you, the only way you're gonna be able to land Dennis 331 00:14:27,551 --> 00:14:29,594 is by making him feel he's lower on your list 332 00:14:29,678 --> 00:14:32,347 than a disgusting, filthy homeless guy. 333 00:14:37,561 --> 00:14:40,689 - I'm gonna go grind a homeless guy. - Good girl. Make it dirty. 334 00:14:47,904 --> 00:14:51,950 Oh, my God! She's really, like, grinding away over there! 335 00:14:52,576 --> 00:14:55,078 Eat your heart out, Dennis Reynolds! 336 00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:58,331 Hey. Hey, pretty lady? Look, can you do me a favor? 337 00:14:58,456 --> 00:15:02,002 Can you prop your leg up and, like, grind on me all sexual-like? 338 00:15:02,294 --> 00:15:05,255 Charlie's over there blowing up my spot with that girl. 339 00:15:05,797 --> 00:15:09,259 - Oh, yeah. He is blowing up your spot. - I know. 340 00:15:09,426 --> 00:15:11,803 Better make some moves to get her back, don't you think? 341 00:15:11,887 --> 00:15:15,098 I'm gonna make some moves like a ranked number two guy would. 342 00:15:15,223 --> 00:15:17,851 - You're number two. - What's up, bitches? 343 00:15:17,934 --> 00:15:20,228 Oh! Why are you dancing so strangely? 344 00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:23,648 Because of all my energy. I got tons of energy now because of this. 345 00:15:24,608 --> 00:15:27,611 - Energy bar. Have some. - Looks like a shit ball. 346 00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:29,446 No! That's an energy bar! 347 00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:30,864 Why is it so heavy and big? 348 00:15:30,947 --> 00:15:32,449 Because it's filled with vitamins and shit. 349 00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:34,910 Come on, guys. Just eat it and you'll have a burst of energy. Trust me. 350 00:15:34,993 --> 00:15:37,996 Don't eat it, Dee! It's filled with cough medicine. 351 00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:40,874 - I love you! - You traitor bastard! 352 00:15:41,291 --> 00:15:42,709 Okay, that's it, Cricket. You're out of the crew. 353 00:15:42,792 --> 00:15:43,960 You're my whole life. 354 00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:46,213 I love you. I ain't going out without a fight! 355 00:15:46,296 --> 00:15:47,881 Don't leave me in the sun, okay? I'll burn. 356 00:15:48,006 --> 00:15:50,884 You are in cahoots with those guys? 357 00:15:50,967 --> 00:15:52,636 I'm not in cahoots with anybody! 358 00:15:52,761 --> 00:15:55,180 - You've been cahooting with them! - I have not been cahooting! 359 00:15:55,263 --> 00:15:57,766 You're wearing Rickety Cricket's exoskeleton right now! 360 00:15:57,849 --> 00:15:59,476 - I am not! - Yes, you are! 361 00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:03,021 Okay! Okay! So I'm wearing it. 362 00:16:03,188 --> 00:16:05,815 - You are pathetic. - Oh, am I, Dee? 363 00:16:05,899 --> 00:16:07,275 Is this pathetic? 364 00:16:08,109 --> 00:16:09,653 What are you doing, bro? 365 00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:12,155 What, man? A man can't enjoy a sexual lady? 366 00:16:12,239 --> 00:16:13,907 Not when it's with my partner. I'm cutting in. 367 00:16:13,990 --> 00:16:15,450 Get out of here! Back off! 368 00:16:15,534 --> 00:16:17,369 - I need her, man! - Why do you need her? 369 00:16:17,494 --> 00:16:18,870 I need her, all right? Just put it that way. 370 00:16:18,954 --> 00:16:21,957 All right, you know what? You leave me no choice, Charlie. 371 00:16:23,375 --> 00:16:25,460 - Hey, asshole. - Whatever. Wanna dance? 372 00:16:25,544 --> 00:16:27,587 - Yes! - Good. There you go. 373 00:16:27,671 --> 00:16:29,422 Good, good. Take a load off. 374 00:16:29,506 --> 00:16:32,384 Let these strong, sweet, sexual arms hold you. 375 00:16:32,467 --> 00:16:33,468 So strong. 376 00:16:33,635 --> 00:16:36,304 I gotcha. So strong. All right, night-night. 377 00:16:36,388 --> 00:16:37,931 No! 378 00:16:38,014 --> 00:16:39,891 You made me do that. 379 00:16:39,975 --> 00:16:41,309 - You piece of shit. - Yeah, maybe. 380 00:16:41,393 --> 00:16:42,936 You piece of shit! 381 00:16:43,019 --> 00:16:45,105 Dennis Reynolds, I trusted you! 382 00:16:45,188 --> 00:16:46,189 Why? 383 00:16:46,273 --> 00:16:48,316 You are the biggest piece of shit on the planet! 384 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:51,528 That's it. I'm taking this one out. I'm going limp. 385 00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,196 No, Charlie. Don't go limp. 386 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:55,866 - I got you, Gloria. - You're hurting me! 387 00:16:55,949 --> 00:16:59,411 - Charlie, don't do this. - He's trying to have sex with you. 388 00:16:59,536 --> 00:17:02,747 - What? I'm not gonna have sex with you! - What do you mean? 389 00:17:02,873 --> 00:17:04,749 I'm engaged! 390 00:17:04,833 --> 00:17:07,460 Engaged is just a word. It doesn't have any meaning. 391 00:17:07,544 --> 00:17:09,629 - No, it's a very serious word. - Thank you! 392 00:17:09,713 --> 00:17:11,965 - I was getting somewhere, wasn't I? - No, you weren't. 393 00:17:12,048 --> 00:17:14,092 - Really? - No! 394 00:17:14,176 --> 00:17:16,303 All right. Well, see you later. 395 00:17:20,056 --> 00:17:22,225 You really are the biggest piece of shit on the planet. 396 00:17:22,350 --> 00:17:24,811 You still talking to me? I thought you were out. 397 00:17:24,895 --> 00:17:25,937 Dick! 398 00:17:26,021 --> 00:17:28,857 Don't worry, ma'am, 'cause I'm about to take this sucker out! 399 00:17:28,940 --> 00:17:30,609 - You're gonna take me out? - You bet. 400 00:17:30,692 --> 00:17:33,653 - How are you gonna do that? - This right here. DJ Fat Michael! 401 00:17:33,737 --> 00:17:34,779 - Yo! - Squirrely D? 402 00:17:34,863 --> 00:17:35,864 Oh, yeah! 403 00:17:35,947 --> 00:17:37,365 Please play my dance for a dance challenge. 404 00:17:37,449 --> 00:17:38,950 That's a can-do, my brother. 405 00:17:39,075 --> 00:17:42,871 Let me tell you a lesson. The cream always rises to the top. 406 00:17:42,954 --> 00:17:46,124 And I'm about to show you the white-hot cream of an eighth-grade boy. 407 00:17:46,249 --> 00:17:48,001 Oh, my God. Play the tape. 408 00:17:54,591 --> 00:17:56,384 You gotta be kidding me. 409 00:18:02,015 --> 00:18:04,059 Watching every motion 410 00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:08,104 In my foolish lovers game 411 00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:13,818 On this endless ocean 412 00:18:13,902 --> 00:18:18,240 Finally lovers know no shame 413 00:18:19,908 --> 00:18:21,576 It was like a ballet. 414 00:18:21,660 --> 00:18:24,412 How did he remember all that choreography? It was 20 years ago. 415 00:18:24,496 --> 00:18:26,122 I don't know. It was beautiful, man. 416 00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:29,292 - What's going on, monkeys? - Yeah. How are those kegs treating ya? 417 00:18:29,417 --> 00:18:31,795 Pretty good. What you munching on, pal? 418 00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:34,297 Energy ball, courtesy of my partner here. 419 00:18:34,422 --> 00:18:37,592 - You look pretty woozy there, buddy. - I'm feeling woozy… 420 00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:40,679 What is it? Wait. What is up, man? I feel like I'm tripping. 421 00:18:40,762 --> 00:18:43,765 Oh, Charlie, that might be the cough medicine. 422 00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:47,394 You got about 15 minutes until you drop like a ton of bricks. 423 00:18:48,562 --> 00:18:50,355 Holy shit! Did you play me? 424 00:18:50,438 --> 00:18:52,524 Oh, I played you. I played you good. 425 00:18:52,607 --> 00:18:54,526 Maybe now you two jerks might want to start 426 00:18:54,609 --> 00:18:55,986 treating me with a little respect. 427 00:18:56,069 --> 00:18:58,196 - Why would we show you respect? - Yeah, why? 428 00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:00,490 Because I masterminded this entire situation. 429 00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:04,953 Not only did I get Charlie to eat a drug-filled brownie, 430 00:19:05,036 --> 00:19:07,581 I got everybody in here to do it. 431 00:19:07,664 --> 00:19:09,749 Pretty soon, people are gonna be dropping like flies, 432 00:19:09,833 --> 00:19:12,252 and it's gonna be me and you two jerks. 433 00:19:12,335 --> 00:19:14,921 Good luck with those kegs, boners. 434 00:19:15,005 --> 00:19:16,715 Bitch! 435 00:19:16,798 --> 00:19:19,301 There is enough cough medicine in there to kill a gorilla. 436 00:19:19,426 --> 00:19:22,053 If you keep eating it, you're not gonna last five minutes. 437 00:19:22,137 --> 00:19:25,140 Bro, I can handle my sedatives. 438 00:19:33,231 --> 00:19:36,735 I cannot believe how long Charlie has lasted after eating that brownie. 439 00:19:36,818 --> 00:19:40,572 Karate… Snow machine… Chop set… 440 00:19:40,655 --> 00:19:44,201 - What's with the chopping? - I'm chopping all over my action. 441 00:19:44,367 --> 00:19:46,328 And mostly power. 442 00:19:46,411 --> 00:19:48,788 - He's lost his damn mind. - My back's killing me. 443 00:19:48,872 --> 00:19:50,624 You gotta break me off a piece of that exoskeleton. 444 00:19:50,707 --> 00:19:51,875 It doesn't work that way. 445 00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:53,960 You can't just break off a piece of an exoskeleton. 446 00:19:54,044 --> 00:19:55,587 Give me some of that liquid hydraulic shit! 447 00:19:55,670 --> 00:19:56,671 No, man! Hey! 448 00:19:56,755 --> 00:19:57,923 It's a sensitive science! 449 00:19:58,006 --> 00:20:00,091 Give me that technology! Don't use your elbows! 450 00:20:00,175 --> 00:20:02,677 Whoa! Whoa! Dennis, what are you doing? 451 00:20:02,761 --> 00:20:05,347 Oh, God damn it! 452 00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:07,933 - Oh! Double whammy! - Are you happy? Dee's gonna win. 453 00:20:08,016 --> 00:20:10,143 No. We still got Charlie. 454 00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:16,399 Don't worry about it. I got an inside horse. 455 00:20:16,483 --> 00:20:18,276 Larry. That's my inside horse. 456 00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:20,946 - Larry! Stay awake! - Go, Larry! 457 00:20:21,029 --> 00:20:24,866 He's staying up! Come on, Larry! You can do it! You can do it, Larry! 458 00:20:24,991 --> 00:20:26,576 You feeling bad? That's too bad. 459 00:20:26,660 --> 00:20:30,247 'Cause I'm just getting my second wind. Cricket! Now! 460 00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:32,999 Here I come, Dee! I love you so much! 461 00:20:34,626 --> 00:20:38,672 Oh, my God, my knee! Oh, my God! 462 00:20:38,755 --> 00:20:41,591 Larry! You won the bar for us! 463 00:20:41,675 --> 00:20:44,219 Larry wins! Whoo! All right, Larry! 464 00:20:44,344 --> 00:20:46,221 I have a shattered kneecap! 465 00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:48,473 Dee, we can start again. Right? 466 00:20:48,557 --> 00:20:51,685 Never talk to me again, you goddamn street rat! 467 00:20:53,186 --> 00:20:55,188 Look on the bright side, Deandra. 468 00:20:55,313 --> 00:20:57,983 At least you're not ranked last anymore. 469 00:20:58,066 --> 00:21:00,694 - Who's last now? - Charlie. 470 00:21:01,570 --> 00:21:04,364 That kid really needs to learn how to read.