1 00:00:01,844 --> 00:00:04,781 You gotta spend money to make Economics 101, dude. 2 00:00:04,782 --> 00:00:06,576 You're bleeding us to death, 3 00:00:06,577 --> 00:00:09,099 especially with that company credit card you got. 4 00:00:09,100 --> 00:00:13,014 That is for business expenses, Frank. Everything on there is a business expense. 5 00:00:13,015 --> 00:00:16,816 Who spent $500 for laser hair removal? 6 00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:19,662 Right over here, slick. Don't want to have hair down there. You know what I'm saying? 7 00:00:19,663 --> 00:00:22,592 Who spent $5,000 for a samurai sword? 8 00:00:22,593 --> 00:00:23,892 Your head of security. 9 00:00:23,893 --> 00:00:25,775 Yeah. Just wait till he saves your life one day with it. 10 00:00:25,776 --> 00:00:27,484 $6,000 on a camcorder. 11 00:00:27,485 --> 00:00:29,552 Well, I decided what I'm going to do is I'm 12 00:00:29,553 --> 00:00:31,636 going to take all those hilarious characters that I've 13 00:00:31,637 --> 00:00:34,345 been creating over the past several years, to put them on tape, 14 00:00:34,346 --> 00:00:36,102 I'm going to put them on YouTube. 15 00:00:36,103 --> 00:00:38,595 That way, I can get discovered by, like, a casting director or 16 00:00:38,596 --> 00:00:40,501 a producer, get some kind of a TV development deal. 17 00:00:40,521 --> 00:00:43,346 Yeah, right. So the point is, Frank, is that these are all business expenses. 18 00:00:43,347 --> 00:00:45,610 I mean, some are definitely more realistic than others. 19 00:00:45,611 --> 00:00:47,160 - Yeah. Not that one. - No, not at all. 20 00:00:47,161 --> 00:00:49,826 But, nonetheless, it was, I believe, bought as a business expense. 21 00:00:49,827 --> 00:00:51,238 They're not business expenses. 22 00:00:51,239 --> 00:00:53,360 What I bought is a business expense. 23 00:00:53,378 --> 00:00:56,201 What I bought is something that's going to save our asses. 24 00:00:56,202 --> 00:00:58,082 Okay. Yeah. All right. 25 00:00:58,083 --> 00:01:00,879 - What did you get? - I bought a billboard. 26 00:01:00,970 --> 00:01:10,970 its always. sunny in philly 403 27 00:01:28,502 --> 00:01:30,943 Synchro : Flolo 28 00:01:32,605 --> 00:01:34,252 Okay, so I'm thinking 29 00:01:34,253 --> 00:01:36,717 we write on the billboard, in nice big letters, "We have 30 00:01:36,718 --> 00:01:38,830 two-for-one drink specials on Thursdays." 31 00:01:38,831 --> 00:01:41,412 And, on the bottom, you have a hilarious picture of Green Man 32 00:01:41,413 --> 00:01:44,071 kicking someone in the nuts. And people will go, "Hey, what's this wacky place? 33 00:01:44,072 --> 00:01:47,743 - Where can I have those drinks?" - It is really astonishing how bad your idea is. 34 00:01:47,744 --> 00:01:49,582 - How is that a bad idea? - Go sit down. 35 00:01:49,583 --> 00:01:51,540 The adults are working. The adults are working. 36 00:01:51,541 --> 00:01:53,301 When we need a child, we'll call you. 37 00:01:53,302 --> 00:01:56,477 Dennis, you and I on the same team. Hot chick up on the billboard. 38 00:01:56,553 --> 00:01:58,102 - Sex sells. Boom. - absolutely. 39 00:01:58,103 --> 00:02:01,328 It's Advertising 101: long legs, taut breasts and tight poopers. 40 00:02:01,329 --> 00:02:03,399 I'm just going to jump in here real quick and point out 41 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:05,462 that this is the point in the conversation where I would volunteer 42 00:02:05,463 --> 00:02:07,330 to be the girl on the billboard, and then you guys 43 00:02:07,331 --> 00:02:09,301 would talk about how ugly you think I am, and compare me to 44 00:02:09,302 --> 00:02:11,970 - some sort of giant bird. - You look so much like a bird. 45 00:02:11,971 --> 00:02:14,411 - Dennis, I was thinking fish recently. - Really? 46 00:02:14,412 --> 00:02:16,367 Yeah. Her eyes are so far apart, they're like they're on... 47 00:02:16,368 --> 00:02:19,130 Okay, okay, but I don't want to be on your billboard. 48 00:02:19,131 --> 00:02:21,525 I'm not going to ask to be because you wouldn't let me be on it anyway. 49 00:02:21,526 --> 00:02:23,439 No. That's sensible. You don't even have to ask. 50 00:02:23,502 --> 00:02:26,750 There's no way you can be up on that billboard. 51 00:02:26,751 --> 00:02:29,677 - Let me get the point out! The point is... - She's better than you. 52 00:02:29,678 --> 00:02:31,925 I don't want to be on your billboard, and I'll tell you why. 53 00:02:31,926 --> 00:02:33,829 I'm going to take one of my characters and I'm going to 54 00:02:33,830 --> 00:02:36,547 launch a viral video and promote Paddy's myself. 55 00:02:36,605 --> 00:02:39,857 A viral video? There's about a billion of those on YouTube. Who gives a shit? 56 00:02:39,858 --> 00:02:41,841 you think anyone gives a shit about a billboard? 57 00:02:41,842 --> 00:02:43,586 Wake up, donkeys. 58 00:02:43,587 --> 00:02:46,376 The Internet is where it's at, and I'm going to be an Internet sensation. 59 00:02:46,451 --> 00:02:49,120 You're totally right. If you don't mind, I'm going to come with you. 60 00:02:49,121 --> 00:02:51,911 Maybe I can throw Green Man into a couple of your videos, 61 00:02:51,912 --> 00:02:53,905 you know, and work it out. That'll get a lot of hits. 62 00:02:53,906 --> 00:02:56,168 You can help me out, Charlie, but we're not going to put Green 63 00:02:56,169 --> 00:02:57,915 - Man into anything. - Well, we'll see about that. 64 00:02:57,916 --> 00:02:59,554 - We'll see about that. - Well, we will. 65 00:02:59,555 --> 00:03:01,371 All right. Later, dudes! 66 00:03:01,372 --> 00:03:05,197 "S" you in your "A's, don't wear "C's, and "J" all over your "B's. 67 00:03:05,776 --> 00:03:08,079 Why would he not want a "C"...? 68 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,619 I don't even know what he's talking about half the time, bro, but... 69 00:03:10,620 --> 00:03:12,188 hey, Frank, I'm glad you're here, bro. 70 00:03:12,189 --> 00:03:14,399 - We're talking billboard ideas. - Don't waste your time. 71 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:16,668 I know what the billboard's going to look like already: 72 00:03:16,669 --> 00:03:21,956 two gorgeous girls up there, giant cans, me in the middle with my thumbs up. 73 00:03:21,957 --> 00:03:24,267 Well, that's just simply not going to happen. 74 00:03:24,268 --> 00:03:26,192 Actually, maybe Frank has a point, dude. 75 00:03:26,193 --> 00:03:28,439 Maybe weshouldput a dude up there, certainly not him. 76 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:31,560 but if we put some hot beefcake up there, maybe it will attract more chicks. 77 00:03:31,561 --> 00:03:35,029 That's a good point. Okay, I like that. Let's slapmypicture up there. 78 00:03:35,030 --> 00:03:37,360 It's about time I got my modeling career off the ground anyway. 79 00:03:37,361 --> 00:03:39,199 Don't flatter yourself. 80 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:42,312 You're not going to be up there because I'm going to be the face 81 00:03:42,313 --> 00:03:44,451 - of Paddy's Bar. - That's ridiculous, Frank. 82 00:03:44,452 --> 00:03:47,008 You're... ugly. 83 00:03:47,655 --> 00:03:49,585 What? Ugly? 84 00:03:49,586 --> 00:03:51,097 - I'm ugly? - Yeah. 85 00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:54,319 With that anteater nose, you're telling mel'mugly. 86 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:57,762 My nose was chiseled by the gods themselves, Frank. 87 00:03:57,825 --> 00:04:01,612 My body was sculpted to the proportions of Michelangelo's David. 88 00:04:02,086 --> 00:04:04,201 You, on the other hand, well... 89 00:04:04,906 --> 00:04:07,070 you're a pit of despair. 90 00:04:07,310 --> 00:04:09,376 Frank, you disgust me. 91 00:04:09,573 --> 00:04:11,725 You disgust everyone. 92 00:04:11,878 --> 00:04:17,134 And you will never, ever be on that billboard. 93 00:04:23,968 --> 00:04:26,389 Good morning, Philadelphia! 94 00:04:26,390 --> 00:04:29,287 I'm Crazy Paddy, and I'm coming to you from 95 00:04:29,288 --> 00:04:31,557 Paddy's Pub, telling you to come on down. 96 00:04:31,558 --> 00:04:34,005 We're slashing prices so low 97 00:04:34,006 --> 00:04:37,740 you won't need a pot of gold to get sloppy. So come on down to Paddy's. 98 00:04:37,741 --> 00:04:40,147 It's insane! 99 00:04:40,148 --> 00:04:42,356 - What is that? - Did you like that? 100 00:04:42,357 --> 00:04:44,091 No. That's not what YouTube videos are like. 101 00:04:44,092 --> 00:04:46,320 - that's a great character. - No, That's like a bad 102 00:04:46,321 --> 00:04:49,099 late-night commercial you'd see, like, on the cable network or something. 103 00:04:49,100 --> 00:04:51,376 Maybe you didn't get it. I'm crazy 'cause I'm pricing the beer too low. 104 00:04:51,377 --> 00:04:53,208 I think I got it. I think I got it. 105 00:04:53,209 --> 00:04:54,850 The beer's too low for what average beer prices are. 106 00:04:54,851 --> 00:04:56,915 All right, you know what? Let's just do it again, 107 00:04:56,916 --> 00:04:58,797 maybe throw in some more jokes or something, you know? 108 00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:00,785 - Make it funnier. - You're absolutely right. 109 00:05:00,786 --> 00:05:02,254 You can make it funnier. you're a funny girl. 110 00:05:02,255 --> 00:05:03,721 You ready? 111 00:05:03,722 --> 00:05:05,723 Good morning, Philadelphia. 112 00:05:05,724 --> 00:05:07,816 I'm Crazy Paddy. 113 00:05:08,652 --> 00:05:10,484 Oh, my God! 114 00:05:10,485 --> 00:05:11,910 Why...? 115 00:05:11,911 --> 00:05:14,369 Now, that was funny. Dee, that's awesome! 116 00:05:14,370 --> 00:05:16,528 - what do you that? - That's what YouTube video is. 117 00:05:16,529 --> 00:05:17,696 That's funny? 118 00:05:17,697 --> 00:05:19,525 You ever see those girls mashing the grapes, and then 119 00:05:19,526 --> 00:05:21,667 - slips and she's, like...? - Why did you do that, Charlie? 120 00:05:21,668 --> 00:05:23,757 - That's what people want to see. - Oh, my God! 121 00:05:23,758 --> 00:05:27,605 People getting injured or seriously hurt— that's funny! 122 00:05:27,606 --> 00:05:30,429 Okay? Let's just do this. This is... Trust me. 123 00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:32,339 This is what gets hits on YouTube. 124 00:05:32,340 --> 00:05:34,409 - All right. Are you ready? - Yeah. I was ready from... 125 00:05:34,410 --> 00:05:35,942 Stop talking. 126 00:05:37,196 --> 00:05:39,249 I'm crazy Patty... 127 00:05:39,250 --> 00:05:41,047 Nope. Okay. 128 00:05:41,301 --> 00:05:43,010 I'm Crazy Patty... 129 00:05:43,011 --> 00:05:44,995 What are you doing? You're lunging every time now. 130 00:05:44,996 --> 00:05:46,188 I'm sorry. 131 00:05:46,206 --> 00:05:49,186 I can't concentrate when I'm about to get blasted in the face with a ball. 132 00:05:49,187 --> 00:05:51,055 I'll blast you all over if you flinch again. 133 00:05:51,056 --> 00:05:52,421 Let's just do this. 134 00:05:52,422 --> 00:05:54,167 Let's just do this. Action! 135 00:05:54,168 --> 00:05:56,368 Goddamn! 136 00:05:56,369 --> 00:05:57,806 - Goddamn! - That is funny. 137 00:05:57,807 --> 00:06:00,189 I don't like it, Charlie. I don't think it's funny. 138 00:06:01,267 --> 00:06:03,542 It doesn't hurt too bad. 139 00:06:06,612 --> 00:06:10,425 Bro, can you believe how many hot chicks showed up for a 140 00:06:10,426 --> 00:06:12,844 casting call for a billboard? How have we not done this before? 141 00:06:12,845 --> 00:06:14,997 Yeah. Yeah, man. Plus, think about it. 142 00:06:14,998 --> 00:06:16,833 Dennis Reynolds, 40 feet tall and shirtless. 143 00:06:16,834 --> 00:06:19,170 - it's going to be so perfect! - Let's go. 144 00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:21,687 - Just take your places over there. - Frank, what are you doing? 145 00:06:21,688 --> 00:06:23,555 - We're looking for models, right? - Yeah. 146 00:06:23,556 --> 00:06:25,302 I went on a stud hunt. 147 00:06:25,303 --> 00:06:26,959 I came back with beefcake. 148 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:29,111 What are you talking about, Frank? I'm the male model. 149 00:06:29,455 --> 00:06:31,533 Rex? Rex? 150 00:06:31,534 --> 00:06:33,276 What are these guys for? We don't need Rex. 151 00:06:33,277 --> 00:06:34,303 Take your shirt off. 152 00:06:34,338 --> 00:06:36,289 Come on, you don't need to take your shirt off. 153 00:06:36,290 --> 00:06:38,195 well, okay, if you're looking for that... 154 00:06:38,196 --> 00:06:40,777 Now, that, that is what you call a stallion. 155 00:06:40,778 --> 00:06:41,773 That is a stallion. 156 00:06:41,774 --> 00:06:44,085 I didn't know you guys were looking for a stallion. I'm a stallion. 157 00:06:44,086 --> 00:06:47,418 Dennis, you think Frank's got a point here? 158 00:06:47,419 --> 00:06:49,850 I don't think he has a point. I'm a stallion. 159 00:06:51,590 --> 00:06:53,508 All right, this is messy. 160 00:06:54,232 --> 00:06:58,738 look, buddy, 2003 Dennis, okay, he was Grade-A prime beefcake. 161 00:06:58,739 --> 00:07:00,636 No one is disputing that. He was a stallion. 162 00:07:00,637 --> 00:07:02,949 But 2008 Dennis is in decline. 163 00:07:02,950 --> 00:07:04,536 Take a look at Rex here. 164 00:07:04,537 --> 00:07:06,634 That is a body that just won't quit. 165 00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:09,869 I bet if you pop those pants off, you're gonna find a bird that just won't quit either. 166 00:07:09,870 --> 00:07:12,725 And I think that'll come in handy in this situation. 167 00:07:12,726 --> 00:07:15,110 I think the problem here is that your body quit. 168 00:07:15,111 --> 00:07:16,661 Your bird quit. 169 00:07:16,662 --> 00:07:18,944 And unfortunately, it's no longer legit. 170 00:07:18,945 --> 00:07:20,491 What the hell you talking about, my bird? 171 00:07:20,526 --> 00:07:22,156 All right, let's get back to business here. 172 00:07:22,157 --> 00:07:24,550 Attention, ladies, I'm gonna need all the A cups to 173 00:07:24,551 --> 00:07:26,496 please head for the back door. 174 00:07:28,981 --> 00:07:30,926 Charlie, are you ready with the camera? 175 00:07:30,927 --> 00:07:33,325 Yeah, I'm trying to set it up. It takes a second, Dee. 176 00:07:33,326 --> 00:07:35,153 All right, who the hell's this character you're doing? 177 00:07:35,161 --> 00:07:36,561 this one? It's a really great one. 178 00:07:36,562 --> 00:07:39,519 Her name's Martina Martinez, and she is a streetwise Puerto Rican 179 00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:42,283 girl who's always quick with a sassy comeback. 180 00:07:42,284 --> 00:07:44,264 - Are you serious? - Yes, it's awesome. 181 00:07:44,265 --> 00:07:45,718 Now let's go over what we're doing again. 182 00:07:45,719 --> 00:07:47,992 I go up, I talk, you come in with the volleyball, you hit him 183 00:07:47,993 --> 00:07:49,704 in the face, and you get out of there. 184 00:07:49,705 --> 00:07:52,403 Okay. I'm gonna hit a random person in the face with a volleyball. 185 00:07:52,404 --> 00:07:54,360 But don't come in too early 'cause I got some material 186 00:07:54,361 --> 00:07:56,811 I want to do and I don't want you to cut me off this time. 187 00:07:56,812 --> 00:07:59,270 Saturday Night Live is gonna, I think they're gonna really love this. 188 00:07:59,271 --> 00:08:02,674 - Do you really think that? - Charlie, Charlie, go, go, go. 189 00:08:04,662 --> 00:08:07,338 I'm horrified that he's even here. 190 00:08:07,339 --> 00:08:10,011 excuse me. Can I talk to you use? 191 00:08:10,565 --> 00:08:11,704 What? 192 00:08:11,705 --> 00:08:13,688 Youse a bunch of white boys, right? 193 00:08:13,728 --> 00:08:15,794 Can I axe you a question? 194 00:08:15,795 --> 00:08:18,892 When you be in the clubs and you be dancing, 195 00:08:18,893 --> 00:08:21,030 why you look so stupid? 196 00:08:21,031 --> 00:08:22,924 I'm just playin'. 197 00:08:22,925 --> 00:08:25,130 So youse a big man, right? 198 00:08:25,131 --> 00:08:27,323 But you got such tiny boots on. 199 00:08:27,324 --> 00:08:29,242 That means you got a small pecker. 200 00:08:29,243 --> 00:08:32,008 I'm sorry. I'm just playin'. 201 00:08:32,009 --> 00:08:34,313 I'm Martina Martinez. 202 00:08:45,242 --> 00:08:49,783 Okay, attention, ladies, gentlemen, hotties and beefcakes. 203 00:08:49,784 --> 00:08:53,252 You were brought here because you are the most beautiful people in all of Philadelphia. 204 00:08:53,253 --> 00:08:57,176 And as such, the honor has been bestowed upon all of you 205 00:08:57,177 --> 00:09:01,238 to compete in Paddy's first Next Top Billboard Model contest. 206 00:09:01,239 --> 00:09:03,156 - What's the pay? - What? 207 00:09:03,157 --> 00:09:04,541 What is the pay? 208 00:09:04,542 --> 00:09:08,059 The pay, sir, is getting your face 40 feet up on a billboard. 209 00:09:08,060 --> 00:09:10,610 - So there's no pay then? - I just told you what the pay is. 210 00:09:10,611 --> 00:09:12,179 He told you what the goddamn pay was. 211 00:09:12,180 --> 00:09:13,636 - The billboard thing. - Were you not listening? 212 00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:16,437 - Well, I'm outta here. - Fine. Fine. You leave. 213 00:09:16,484 --> 00:09:19,042 We don't need you people. Everybody else. 214 00:09:19,359 --> 00:09:22,875 Let's take their lack of dedication as a lesson, shall we? 215 00:09:23,068 --> 00:09:25,527 Competitions like this aren't about money. 216 00:09:25,528 --> 00:09:27,088 They're about fame. 217 00:09:27,089 --> 00:09:29,747 They are about putting yourself on display to the world and 218 00:09:29,748 --> 00:09:32,969 saying, "I'm good enough because I beat everyone else, 219 00:09:32,970 --> 00:09:35,797 - and I got myself up on a billboard." - Not so fast. 220 00:09:37,872 --> 00:09:39,778 What the hell are you doing here? 221 00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:41,819 I want in the competion. 222 00:09:42,589 --> 00:09:44,293 Approach. 223 00:09:44,488 --> 00:09:47,829 Dennis, I told you you don't have the right stuff. 224 00:09:47,830 --> 00:09:50,678 I got the right stuff, Frank. I can win this thing, I know it. 225 00:09:50,679 --> 00:09:52,571 All right, judges' side bar. 226 00:09:53,874 --> 00:09:55,629 Do you want to let him in? 227 00:09:55,630 --> 00:09:57,600 Bro, he's been talking about this modeling thing for years. 228 00:09:57,601 --> 00:09:59,296 If only to shut him up. 229 00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:05,766 - You're in. - Oh, yeah! Yes! Huh? 230 00:10:07,716 --> 00:10:09,575 You... 231 00:10:09,916 --> 00:10:14,773 Okay, the first competion is the underwear competion. 232 00:10:15,296 --> 00:10:16,746 Boom! 233 00:10:22,878 --> 00:10:25,005 How's your face, Dee? 234 00:10:25,006 --> 00:10:26,493 How do you think it is, Charlie? 235 00:10:26,494 --> 00:10:29,284 You kept hitting me over and over in the same spot with a volleyball. 236 00:10:29,285 --> 00:10:31,302 And I was explicitly no more Green Man. 237 00:10:31,303 --> 00:10:33,423 Come on. Green Man's what makes this thing work. 238 00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:36,214 Green Man is not what makes it work, Charlie. 239 00:10:36,256 --> 00:10:38,058 My characters are what make it work. 240 00:10:38,059 --> 00:10:39,841 No more Green Man. And we're not doing it anymore. 241 00:10:39,842 --> 00:10:41,697 All right. Geez, relax. 242 00:10:42,211 --> 00:10:44,756 You're nothing without Green Man. 243 00:10:46,084 --> 00:10:47,350 shit. 244 00:10:47,351 --> 00:10:48,784 Dee, you know what? 245 00:10:48,785 --> 00:10:51,021 This is all like a bad frame and stuff. 246 00:10:51,022 --> 00:10:52,788 This isn't gonna work. We got to do it again. 247 00:10:52,789 --> 00:10:53,672 What? 248 00:10:53,673 --> 00:10:56,258 The camera was too low. We got to... 249 00:10:57,847 --> 00:10:59,998 Hey, diary. It's me. 250 00:10:59,999 --> 00:11:03,625 It's Thursday, September 30th about midnight. 251 00:11:03,874 --> 00:11:07,292 I'm alone, of course, again. 252 00:11:07,293 --> 00:11:09,771 And I just had a little bit too much ice cream. 253 00:11:09,772 --> 00:11:11,275 Interesting. 254 00:11:11,511 --> 00:11:13,626 Okay, Frank, can I talk to you for a second? 255 00:11:13,627 --> 00:11:14,970 What's up? 256 00:11:14,971 --> 00:11:17,640 Bro, originally, my plan was to just bang a bunch of models, right? 257 00:11:17,641 --> 00:11:19,877 Okay, but after talking to a few of them, 258 00:11:19,878 --> 00:11:22,328 I feel like I could find my true love here. 259 00:11:22,524 --> 00:11:25,192 You think you could fall in love with one of these broads? 260 00:11:25,193 --> 00:11:27,688 Yeah, dude, eventually, I got to settle down, right? 261 00:11:27,689 --> 00:11:30,098 Spread my seed. Haven't you ever seen The Bachelor? 262 00:11:30,099 --> 00:11:31,977 Look, you get a whole bunch of them together, you make them 263 00:11:31,978 --> 00:11:34,068 compete over you, bing-bang-boom, soulmate. 264 00:11:34,069 --> 00:11:36,016 that sounds good. 265 00:11:36,017 --> 00:11:40,292 Well, okay, you take the girls, and I'll take Dennis and the dudes. 266 00:11:40,293 --> 00:11:41,799 - Really? - Yeah. 267 00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:43,325 - You'll just give me the girls? - Absolutely. 268 00:11:43,326 --> 00:11:45,143 - I can have my own competition. - Awesome. 269 00:11:45,144 --> 00:11:46,799 I don't understand it, but I don't care. 270 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:48,714 - All right, thanks, bud. - All right. See ya. 271 00:11:48,715 --> 00:11:50,733 All right, whatever. Thank you. 272 00:11:50,734 --> 00:11:53,464 All right, where are all my male models? 273 00:11:53,465 --> 00:11:55,267 Come forward. Come forward. 274 00:11:55,268 --> 00:11:58,614 Okay, as you know, in the world of modeling, 275 00:11:58,615 --> 00:12:02,506 you're sometimes asked to model a theme. 276 00:12:02,736 --> 00:12:05,245 Today's theme is barnyard. 277 00:12:05,246 --> 00:12:08,634 Okay, everybody, come on the stage that I have prepared to 278 00:12:08,635 --> 00:12:10,370 give you a little ambience. 279 00:12:10,371 --> 00:12:13,530 Okay, here's a baby pool that you're all going to get into. 280 00:12:13,531 --> 00:12:17,044 And there's a lot of hay and there's some chickens and ducks. 281 00:12:17,045 --> 00:12:19,553 What the hell, bro? Is this supposed to be dirt? It smells like shit. 282 00:12:19,554 --> 00:12:22,258 It is shit. This is a barnyard. 283 00:12:22,259 --> 00:12:24,335 No one is going to step in shit. 284 00:12:24,336 --> 00:12:26,954 Rex, are you kidding me? Seriously, are you just gonna step right in it? 285 00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:29,288 I want to win, bro. Billboard. 286 00:12:33,277 --> 00:12:35,625 Dee, what is this getup? What are you doing now? 287 00:12:35,626 --> 00:12:37,009 What is that? 288 00:12:37,010 --> 00:12:39,271 okay. This is Taiwan Tammy. 289 00:12:39,272 --> 00:12:43,212 She on runway and do a drag queen in nails. 290 00:12:43,213 --> 00:12:44,817 thank you! 291 00:12:44,818 --> 00:12:47,658 Are you kidding me? That is extremely racist. 292 00:12:47,659 --> 00:12:49,553 Isn't it awesome? I'm so excited about this one. 293 00:12:49,554 --> 00:12:51,998 All right, well, good luck to you on that. 294 00:12:51,999 --> 00:12:54,050 Why are you hands in your pockets? 295 00:12:54,051 --> 00:12:55,696 They're itchy. 296 00:12:55,697 --> 00:12:57,259 - Your hands are itchy? - My hands are a little itchy. 297 00:12:57,260 --> 00:12:59,079 Your hands are in your pockets 'cause they're itchy? 298 00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:01,975 Goddamn it! I knew it! Charlie, what are you doing? 299 00:13:01,976 --> 00:13:04,120 - I said no Green Man! - Green Man sells this whole thing. 300 00:13:04,121 --> 00:13:06,825 It doesn't make any sense! Goddamn it, Charlie! 301 00:13:06,826 --> 00:13:08,935 - Hey, I know you. - What? 302 00:13:08,936 --> 00:13:13,042 Yeah, you that, that girl, PatheticGirl43. 303 00:13:13,043 --> 00:13:14,283 PatheticGirl? 304 00:13:14,284 --> 00:13:16,186 I almost didn't recognize you in that getup, but I recognize 305 00:13:16,187 --> 00:13:17,971 that whiny voice anywhere. 306 00:13:17,972 --> 00:13:21,324 Hey, you mind if we get a picture together? 307 00:13:21,325 --> 00:13:23,834 Yeah, let's get a picture. I can't believe you recognized us. 308 00:13:23,835 --> 00:13:25,726 You saw the YouTube thing, right? 309 00:13:25,727 --> 00:13:27,283 Charlie, what is going on? 310 00:13:27,284 --> 00:13:29,018 I'll show you later. 311 00:13:30,175 --> 00:13:35,259 In other news, it seems like I have a rash in a place where 312 00:13:35,260 --> 00:13:37,251 a sexually active person should have a rash. 313 00:13:37,252 --> 00:13:38,966 Green Man! 314 00:13:40,340 --> 00:13:42,676 Oh, my God, you put that on YouTube? 315 00:13:42,756 --> 00:13:45,457 - Oh, my God, I totally did. - Charlie, why would you do that to me? 316 00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:48,246 - Because that's great stuff. - That was my private video diary. 317 00:13:48,247 --> 00:13:50,229 - 80,000 hits. - 80,000? 318 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:52,779 80,000 hits, Dee. That's huge! 319 00:13:52,780 --> 00:13:54,646 - Big numbers. - Yeah, come on. 320 00:13:54,647 --> 00:13:56,337 Don't take this to heart. Don't take this the wrong way. 321 00:13:56,338 --> 00:13:58,034 Hey, look, you got recognized on the street today. 322 00:13:58,035 --> 00:13:59,820 - That happened. - So did I. 323 00:13:59,821 --> 00:14:01,274 - Well, it was me first. - But the point 324 00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:04,342 is that's the first step to becoming hugely famous... 325 00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:06,629 - Pretty awesome. - is people noticing you on the Internet 326 00:14:06,630 --> 00:14:09,341 - 80,00 hits. - That's a lot of hits, Charlie. 327 00:14:09,342 --> 00:14:10,801 You know what it's like for Chocolate Rain 328 00:14:10,802 --> 00:14:12,604 - when he goes around in the world? - He gets free food. 329 00:14:12,605 --> 00:14:15,237 He gets free everything because people love that guy. 330 00:14:15,238 --> 00:14:18,631 Charlie, fire up that video camera. 331 00:14:18,632 --> 00:14:19,898 There you go. 332 00:14:22,139 --> 00:14:26,188 Okay, Anya, so they are in fact, double Ds. 333 00:14:26,189 --> 00:14:28,262 That's great news. 334 00:14:28,263 --> 00:14:30,884 Well, you got a great look, no denying that. 335 00:14:30,896 --> 00:14:32,617 Let me ask you a question, though. 336 00:14:32,618 --> 00:14:34,867 Why should I pick you over the other girls? 337 00:14:34,868 --> 00:14:38,228 I'm willing to do anything in order to win. 338 00:14:38,229 --> 00:14:39,993 You're talking about banging me, right? 339 00:14:39,994 --> 00:14:41,296 Maybe. 340 00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:43,034 - If you say yes... - Yes. 341 00:14:43,035 --> 00:14:44,564 Okay, great. You said yes. 342 00:14:44,565 --> 00:14:46,027 Okay, Anya said yes. 343 00:14:46,028 --> 00:14:47,994 That's written down now. That's like a contract. 344 00:14:47,995 --> 00:14:49,963 All right, perfect. Can't go back on it. 345 00:14:49,964 --> 00:14:51,459 All right, well, thank you for coming in. 346 00:14:51,460 --> 00:14:52,754 - Thank you. - Nice talking to you. 347 00:14:52,755 --> 00:14:54,450 - You, too. - You got a great shot. 348 00:14:54,451 --> 00:14:56,429 You got a great ass. 349 00:14:56,430 --> 00:14:57,723 All right. 350 00:14:59,740 --> 00:15:02,412 - Hi. - Hi. Rochelle. 351 00:15:02,413 --> 00:15:03,371 Yes. 352 00:15:03,372 --> 00:15:06,066 Rochelle, Rochelle, Rochelle. Thank you for coming in. 353 00:15:06,067 --> 00:15:08,501 I'm having all the girls come in just to make sure we vibe. 354 00:15:08,502 --> 00:15:09,484 Of course. 355 00:15:09,485 --> 00:15:12,353 What's the difference between you and the rest of the girls? 356 00:15:12,362 --> 00:15:16,285 Well, my heart is in this 100% 357 00:15:16,286 --> 00:15:18,797 and for more than just a billboard. 358 00:15:18,798 --> 00:15:20,689 For more than a billboard? 359 00:15:20,690 --> 00:15:22,594 That's interesting. I haven't heard that yet. 360 00:15:22,595 --> 00:15:23,428 No? 361 00:15:23,429 --> 00:15:25,330 I feel like there's vibing happening right now. 362 00:15:25,331 --> 00:15:27,050 This is the vibing I'm talking about. 363 00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:28,065 Yeah. 364 00:15:28,066 --> 00:15:29,712 I feel like we're completing each other's... 365 00:15:29,713 --> 00:15:30,831 sentences. 366 00:15:30,832 --> 00:15:32,665 Yeah, I was gonna say sentences! 367 00:15:32,666 --> 00:15:34,429 - I know. - Oh, my God! 368 00:15:34,430 --> 00:15:36,307 - How did you read my...? - ... mind? 369 00:15:36,308 --> 00:15:39,375 I was gonna say "head," but that's okay, that's all right. 370 00:15:39,376 --> 00:15:41,009 We got, we're one for two. 371 00:15:41,010 --> 00:15:43,296 - Okay. - That's okay. 50%. 372 00:15:43,297 --> 00:15:45,640 You and I are gonna get along very well. 373 00:15:50,039 --> 00:15:54,330 Rex, that is a sexy jaguar. 374 00:15:54,331 --> 00:15:58,717 I mean, that jaguar is fierce! 375 00:15:58,718 --> 00:16:02,028 I've never been turned on by a jaguar before. 376 00:16:02,029 --> 00:16:06,117 This has totally changed my mind toward jaguars. 377 00:16:06,902 --> 00:16:10,394 Dennis, your mule is shit. 378 00:16:10,411 --> 00:16:13,153 I'm no longer turned on by mules. 379 00:16:13,154 --> 00:16:14,960 You gave Rex jaguar! 380 00:16:14,961 --> 00:16:16,717 There aren't jaguars in barns. 381 00:16:16,718 --> 00:16:18,270 What the hell am I supposed to do with a mule? 382 00:16:18,271 --> 00:16:19,868 You can't make a mule sexy. 383 00:16:19,869 --> 00:16:22,269 Dennis, you've been out modeled. 384 00:16:22,270 --> 00:16:23,737 I have not been out modeled. 385 00:16:23,738 --> 00:16:25,815 I haven't even begun to work this hot body. 386 00:16:25,816 --> 00:16:27,679 What's the next event? 387 00:16:28,122 --> 00:16:30,446 The clothes-off pose-off. 388 00:16:38,155 --> 00:16:40,061 Jesus Christ, Frank. 389 00:16:40,062 --> 00:16:42,065 I got burns! What are you doing? 390 00:16:42,066 --> 00:16:44,229 Anything can happen on a runway, Dennis. 391 00:16:44,230 --> 00:16:47,141 Nobody's gonna throw detergent in my eyeballs on a runway, Frank! 392 00:16:47,142 --> 00:16:48,898 And you think that was bad. 393 00:16:48,899 --> 00:16:51,283 Check out this tasty delight. 394 00:16:51,284 --> 00:16:53,668 You got to eat cockroaches next. 395 00:16:53,669 --> 00:16:55,709 You know what, man? Screw this. I'm outta here. 396 00:16:56,577 --> 00:16:58,213 Finished. 397 00:16:58,214 --> 00:17:01,262 Jesus, Rex, I didn't tell you to start eating yet. 398 00:17:01,263 --> 00:17:03,438 That doesn't disqualify me, does it? 399 00:17:03,637 --> 00:17:05,653 No, you're good. 400 00:17:06,355 --> 00:17:08,046 hey, diary. 401 00:17:08,047 --> 00:17:10,421 Listen, today was the worst day ever. 402 00:17:10,422 --> 00:17:13,937 I had an audition, and I didn't get the part, which is really, really strange for me. 403 00:17:13,938 --> 00:17:16,782 But then the casting director called, and they were, like, 404 00:17:16,783 --> 00:17:18,654 "We thought you were just better for a different part." 405 00:17:18,655 --> 00:17:20,628 And I was, like, "That makes more sense." 406 00:17:20,629 --> 00:17:21,973 - Cut, cut! - What are you doing? That was great. 407 00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:23,121 What are you doing? 408 00:17:23,122 --> 00:17:25,838 Why don't you do it like you did the first time? Dee, this is just weird. 409 00:17:25,839 --> 00:17:27,251 This is what I do. I just talk into the camera about my life. 410 00:17:27,252 --> 00:17:28,653 Are you kidding? You never do this. 411 00:17:28,654 --> 00:17:30,841 You have all these colors on your face, your mouth is going like this. 412 00:17:30,842 --> 00:17:32,951 Don't bust my balls. This is great exposure for me. 413 00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:34,396 - This is stupid, Dee. - Hey, Charlie, you are here. 414 00:17:34,397 --> 00:17:35,994 - what the hell's going on? - I don't know. 415 00:17:36,001 --> 00:17:38,723 - Doesn't she look ridiculous? - Get out of here! What are you doing here? 416 00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:40,141 - He almost didn't recognize you? - Are you guys shooting a porn? 417 00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:41,571 - No, we're not... - Never mind. I don't care. 418 00:17:41,572 --> 00:17:43,412 Listen, we need to get that company credit card from Frank. 419 00:17:43,413 --> 00:17:45,396 - Yeah? What's up? - Dude, I realized something. 420 00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:47,498 I don't need validation anymore. How great is that? 421 00:17:47,499 --> 00:17:49,605 But what I do need is I need the company credit card so that 422 00:17:49,606 --> 00:17:51,797 I can buy myself a billboard, get myself out there and show the 423 00:17:51,798 --> 00:17:54,322 entire world that Dennis Reynolds still has a rocking body 424 00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:55,613 that deserves to be worshipped. 425 00:17:55,614 --> 00:17:57,054 Get out of here! We're in the middle of something. 426 00:17:57,055 --> 00:17:58,551 - No, you get out of here. - Get out! 427 00:17:58,552 --> 00:18:00,846 Help me get the credit card. I need that billboard! 428 00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:03,195 Hang on a second. Okay, look, guys, guys, 429 00:18:03,196 --> 00:18:05,428 there's a way to make you guys both happy, all right? 430 00:18:05,429 --> 00:18:07,431 I got a pretty good plan how to do this. 431 00:18:09,112 --> 00:18:12,308 Hey, everybody, PatheticGirl43 here coming 432 00:18:12,309 --> 00:18:15,294 to you live with Philadelphia's next hot model Dennis Reynolds. 433 00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:18,142 Dennis, tell us what it's like to be so handsome. 434 00:18:18,143 --> 00:18:22,117 Well, I like to think I've been this handsome since birth, possibly even earlier. 435 00:18:22,118 --> 00:18:24,036 Green Man! 436 00:18:30,171 --> 00:18:34,155 This shamrock... will be awarded to the winner as 437 00:18:34,222 --> 00:18:38,051 a symbol of my vote and love for this competion. 438 00:18:38,731 --> 00:18:44,990 Rochelle, you taught me about love, respect, inner beauty. 439 00:18:48,338 --> 00:18:52,149 Dominique, you banged me, like, right away. 440 00:18:52,150 --> 00:18:55,379 I hardly had to do anything. Tabitha, you did the same. 441 00:18:55,380 --> 00:18:58,391 But most importantly, you banged each other. 442 00:18:59,041 --> 00:19:01,119 And you let me watch. 443 00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:02,719 Awesome. 444 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:07,508 But when I was making this decision, 445 00:19:07,509 --> 00:19:09,481 I thought long and hard and I thought, 446 00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:11,534 "I have to go with my heart. 447 00:19:11,814 --> 00:19:14,297 I have to go with my heart." 448 00:19:15,484 --> 00:19:18,779 So I'm gonna do something a little unorthodox here. 449 00:19:20,212 --> 00:19:23,064 A top of the morning to both of you! 450 00:19:23,406 --> 00:19:24,623 What? 451 00:19:24,624 --> 00:19:27,279 I had two of them. I had another one here. I tricked you. 452 00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:28,749 I got both of you guys. 453 00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:31,738 But you just said that I taught you about inner beauty and respect. 454 00:19:31,739 --> 00:19:35,070 Yeah, but this whole thing's about banging, and you didn't bang me, so... 455 00:19:35,283 --> 00:19:37,177 - You're a dick! - I know. 456 00:19:37,178 --> 00:19:39,267 And that's what I learned. 457 00:19:41,715 --> 00:19:44,481 Check it out. Check it out! 458 00:19:44,482 --> 00:19:47,222 - What is it? - I'll tell you what it is, bitch. 459 00:19:47,223 --> 00:19:49,755 It's a YouTube video that me, Dee and and Charlie just made 460 00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:52,445 that's gonna get a million hits. So guess what, pal. 461 00:19:52,446 --> 00:19:54,855 Don't need your billboard. I'm going viral. 462 00:19:54,856 --> 00:19:57,900 I'm glad you don't need it because you can't have it because it's already up. 463 00:19:57,901 --> 00:19:58,933 What? 464 00:19:58,934 --> 00:20:01,736 Yeah, I put it up right after you called me ugly. 465 00:20:01,737 --> 00:20:03,514 There's no billboard? 466 00:20:03,515 --> 00:20:06,612 Oh, yeah, sorry about that, Rex. My bad. 467 00:20:06,613 --> 00:20:09,072 So wait. If you already put the billboard up, 468 00:20:09,073 --> 00:20:11,015 what'd you put on it?