1
00:00:02,033 --> 00:00:05,578
You gotta
be careful of the wire, Charlie.

2
00:00:05,662 --> 00:00:07,830
I'm not gonna pinch the wire.
I know what I'm doing.

3
00:00:07,956 --> 00:00:10,041
'Cause then the brake lights don't work.
I know what I'm doing.

4
00:00:10,166 --> 00:00:12,669
Make sure it's on tight.
It's on as tight as it's gonna get!

5
00:00:12,752 --> 00:00:14,212
Okay. All right.
It's on good and tight.

6
00:00:14,295 --> 00:00:16,214
Hey, Dennis, I think we should
get, like, a G.P.S. system,

7
00:00:16,339 --> 00:00:19,217
'cause these maps are from, like, the '70s, dude.
G.P.S. system? Oh, hell, no!

8
00:00:19,342 --> 00:00:21,261
No? That's gonna ruin the
road trip experience.

9
00:00:21,344 --> 00:00:25,223
We gotta go do this old school, baby.
Maps, fresh cigarettes, fresh coffee,

10
00:00:25,348 --> 00:00:27,725
cooking out on the grill, sleeping
in sleeping bags. Old school.

11
00:00:27,850 --> 00:00:29,310
Old school, baby!
I'm into that!

12
00:00:29,435 --> 00:00:30,520
Campfire.
Let's do old school!

13
00:00:30,645 --> 00:00:31,813
Old school, yeah!
Oh, shit.

14
00:00:31,896 --> 00:00:34,399
- Oh, shit.
- Who is that? That Sweet Dee?

15
00:00:34,524 --> 00:00:36,192
That's Dee.
That's Sweet Dee.

16
00:00:36,276 --> 00:00:37,610
Oh, goddamn it.
What is that car?

17
00:00:37,694 --> 00:00:39,279
What is she doing here?
What car is that?

18
00:00:39,362 --> 00:00:41,281
Ah, shit. Okay, don't- don't-
Just don't say anything.

19
00:00:41,406 --> 00:00:43,616
Hey, guys. What's with the trailer?
Hey.

20
00:00:43,700 --> 00:00:45,577
None of your business.
What are you doing here so early?

21
00:00:45,660 --> 00:00:48,580
- Why are you at work early?
- I woke up early this morning and went and bought a new car.

22
00:00:48,663 --> 00:00:50,039
It's pretty sweet.
Where you guys going?

23
00:00:50,123 --> 00:00:52,792
- We're going to the Grand Canyon.
- Goddamn it, Frank!

24
00:00:52,875 --> 00:00:54,836
- Really?
- Frank wants to see it before he dies, so...

25
00:00:54,919 --> 00:00:57,922
Yeah, what happened was he told us
about a road trip. We got all excited.

26
00:00:58,006 --> 00:00:59,924
We got up super early
and we packed the car...

27
00:01:00,049 --> 00:01:03,344
- and were hoping to get out of here before your bus arrived.
- You were just gonna ditch me?

28
00:01:03,428 --> 00:01:05,471
Nah, it's cool.
I'm gonna stick around.

29
00:01:05,597 --> 00:01:07,765
Yeah. Charlie's too scared. Yeah.
He's never left Philly before.

30
00:01:07,849 --> 00:01:09,892
I'm not scared!
I just haven't left Philly.

31
00:01:10,018 --> 00:01:11,811
Why leave Philly, you know?
He's frightened.

32
00:01:11,894 --> 00:01:13,354
- I want to go.
- No, you're not going.

33
00:01:13,438 --> 00:01:15,064
You can't come
'cause it'll take forever.

34
00:01:15,148 --> 00:01:17,233
Yeah, and you're gonna have to pee every
five minutes. It's gonna be stupid.

35
00:01:17,317 --> 00:01:18,985
I'm not gonna get stuck
behind with Charlie.

36
00:01:19,068 --> 00:01:21,779
Wait a second! If you go, I'm gonna
be all by myself in the bar.

37
00:01:21,863 --> 00:01:24,782
That's messed up, guys. I mean, that's
more change than, like, even if I went.

38
00:01:24,866 --> 00:01:27,076
- You know what? Maybe I should go.
- Great. We're all in.

39
00:01:27,201 --> 00:01:29,245
It's gonna be packed in the car!
No, we're not all in.

40
00:01:29,329 --> 00:01:32,165
- Yeah, we're going.
- We're going on a road trip, baby!

41
00:01:32,248 --> 00:01:34,709
Why did you have to buy
a new car today of all days?

42
00:02:11,621 --> 00:02:14,082
Yeah, man. What the hell?
I've never done a lot of things.

43
00:02:14,207 --> 00:02:17,418
What else have you not done, bro?
Uh, I've never eaten a pear.

44
00:02:17,543 --> 00:02:19,879
What? How is that possible?
Seriously.

45
00:02:20,004 --> 00:02:22,590
Really? Pears weird me out, dude.
Where do you start with a pear?

46
00:02:22,715 --> 00:02:25,134
The top, the bottom?
What do you mean, where do you start?

47
00:02:25,218 --> 00:02:27,136
Just bite into it. It's a fruit.
You just start it.

48
00:02:27,220 --> 00:02:29,305
Really? You just bite it?
It's a weird-looking thing.

49
00:02:29,389 --> 00:02:31,432
Okay, you know what?
Pull over. I'm getting this kid a pear.

50
00:02:31,557 --> 00:02:33,810
No, no. No pulling over!
We've got a schedule. Yeah, no, no.

51
00:02:33,893 --> 00:02:35,645
I would love to take a quick leak.
Are you serious?

52
00:02:35,728 --> 00:02:36,854
Oh, Deandra!
We just left!

53
00:02:36,938 --> 00:02:38,439
That's what
I was worried about.

54
00:02:38,523 --> 00:02:40,608
And it can't just be any pear, dude.
It's gotta be a fresh one.

55
00:02:40,733 --> 00:02:42,443
Let's go to the Italian market.
Oh, okay.

56
00:02:42,568 --> 00:02:44,612
Hey-oh! The Italian market
is way out of our way.

57
00:02:44,737 --> 00:02:46,197
Nah.
Dennis, do you have to smoke?

58
00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:47,990
It's coming right back
in through my window.

59
00:02:48,074 --> 00:02:50,326
Roll your window up then,
Dee, 'cause I'm a-smoking.

60
00:02:50,410 --> 00:02:52,120
The window needs to be
down for the fresh air.

61
00:02:52,245 --> 00:02:54,163
Hey, I've never had
blueberries either. What?

62
00:02:54,247 --> 00:02:55,998
What are you talking about?
That's crazy!

63
00:02:56,082 --> 00:02:58,459
That is completely insane.
We're definitely going to the Italian market.

64
00:02:58,584 --> 00:03:00,336
Dennis, let's go.
You believe this guy? Jesus!

65
00:03:00,420 --> 00:03:01,963
- What guy?
- Guy on the bike.

66
00:03:02,046 --> 00:03:03,548
He's taking up
the whole goddamn road.

67
00:03:03,631 --> 00:03:06,467
Ride on the sidewalk if you're
gonna ride a bike, asshole!

68
00:03:06,551 --> 00:03:08,219
What was that?

69
00:03:08,344 --> 00:03:10,221
He flicked you off, dude.
Is that what that was?

70
00:03:10,346 --> 00:03:11,806
He flicked you off, man.
Son of a bitch.

71
00:03:11,931 --> 00:03:14,016
Real chip on his shoulder, huh?
You wanna egg him?

72
00:03:14,100 --> 00:03:15,977
Yeah, I wanna egg him.
You got eggs?

73
00:03:16,102 --> 00:03:18,104
No. That would have been good though.
That would've been good, man.

74
00:03:18,187 --> 00:03:21,023
You know what? I'm gonna fire a beer
across his bow. Ruffle his feathers.

75
00:03:21,149 --> 00:03:23,067
Yeah, give him a good scare?
Yeah, man.

76
00:03:23,192 --> 00:03:25,445
Yeah. Jerk.
Get up real close to him.

77
00:03:25,528 --> 00:03:27,739
Hey, asshole.
Ooh!

78
00:03:27,822 --> 00:03:29,657
Oh, shit!

79
00:03:31,534 --> 00:03:33,369
Oh!

80
00:03:33,494 --> 00:03:35,538
Shit!
I hit him! I hit him!

81
00:03:35,621 --> 00:03:37,623
You hit him in the back of the head!
I didn't mean to.

82
00:03:37,707 --> 00:03:40,001
- That is not how I expected that to go at all.
- Is he okay?

83
00:03:40,084 --> 00:03:42,253
- Did we kill him?
- I don't know. Oh, he's getting up.

84
00:03:42,378 --> 00:03:44,213
He's moving, he's moving.
Yeah, he's getting up.

85
00:03:44,338 --> 00:03:46,215
Thank God, dude. God.
Should we help him out?

86
00:03:46,340 --> 00:03:48,634
And he's getting something out of his bag.
What's he getting?

87
00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:51,804
It's a pipe. It's a pipe?
Go, go, go, go, go!

88
00:03:51,888 --> 00:03:54,682
- Go, go, go, go!

89
00:03:54,766 --> 00:03:57,310
What's wrong with your tires?
The car's scraping.

90
00:03:57,393 --> 00:03:59,979
All right, get back to the bar.
Get back to the bar.

91
00:04:01,856 --> 00:04:03,858
Damn it!

92
00:04:05,067 --> 00:04:06,903
Goddamn it!
Shit!

93
00:04:07,028 --> 00:04:09,489
These tires are completely destroyed.
Ah, shit!

94
00:04:09,572 --> 00:04:11,783
I'm just gonna pop inside
real quick, take a quick squirt.

95
00:04:11,908 --> 00:04:14,452
Unbelievable. How about we put a
couple of doughnuts on there?

96
00:04:14,535 --> 00:04:17,580
Oh, right, Frank. We're gonna go to
the Grand Canyon on spare tires.

97
00:04:17,663 --> 00:04:21,918
Uh, plus there's a good deal of
mountain bike in your axle here, bro.

98
00:04:22,043 --> 00:04:24,796
Seriously, dude? Yeah.
We're talking structural damage down there.

99
00:04:24,879 --> 00:04:26,547
There's leakage.
Things are sparking.

100
00:04:26,672 --> 00:04:29,550
All right. Well, road trip's off.
No, no, no, no, no.

101
00:04:29,634 --> 00:04:33,429
Road trip's not off.
I have a good idea.

102
00:04:45,107 --> 00:04:46,275
Not bad, right?
Nah.

103
00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:48,277
It's kinda nice.
Lot of leg room.

104
00:04:48,402 --> 00:04:50,321
It's a smooth ride.
You guys got a lot of room back there?

105
00:04:50,446 --> 00:04:52,448
Oh, yeah. We got easy
access to the beers too.

106
00:04:52,573 --> 00:04:54,450
I mean, that's a good touch.
New car smell.

107
00:04:54,575 --> 00:04:56,828
Mmm. How do you get that in a used car?
What is that?

108
00:04:56,911 --> 00:04:58,329
It's a spray.
Yeah, it's a spray.

109
00:04:58,412 --> 00:04:59,789
Oh, yeah.
It's nice.

110
00:04:59,914 --> 00:05:01,833
I enjoy it, man.
I'm glad that they did that. It's nice.

111
00:05:01,916 --> 00:05:04,752
I wish that this light would hurry up and change.
That's the only thing. Uh-oh!

112
00:05:04,836 --> 00:05:08,548
- Hey! Hey, you bastards!

113
00:05:08,673 --> 00:05:10,800
You jerks! Hey! Hey!
Ah, here We go.

114
00:05:10,925 --> 00:05:13,177
Goddamn it! Get out!
All right.

115
00:05:13,302 --> 00:05:15,721
All right, all right, all right.
It's my car. I'm driving. Get out!

116
00:05:15,847 --> 00:05:17,348
I got window!
Get out!

117
00:05:17,431 --> 00:05:18,599
You call window, Frank?

118
00:05:18,683 --> 00:05:20,268
You jerks!
I got window.

119
00:05:20,393 --> 00:05:22,979
You guys are dicks.
It took you long enough.

120
00:05:23,104 --> 00:05:25,273
You were taking forever!
Did you still want to go?

121
00:05:25,356 --> 00:05:27,775
Shut up! It's really cramped
back here with this cooler.

122
00:05:27,859 --> 00:05:29,777
Why don't you put
the cooler in the trailer?

123
00:05:29,861 --> 00:05:33,114
Because then, Dee, we're gonna have to pull
over every single time we want a beer.

124
00:05:33,197 --> 00:05:35,741
That new car smell is starting to give me a headache.
Dennis, give me a cigarette.

125
00:05:35,867 --> 00:05:37,243
You want a cigarette?
Yeah.

126
00:05:37,326 --> 00:05:39,287
I'm gonna have one too.
Do you guys have to smoke in here?

127
00:05:39,370 --> 00:05:41,289
Yeah- Well, your car reeks, Dee, so-

128
00:05:41,372 --> 00:05:43,082
God, dude, this thing
is so heavy!

129
00:05:43,207 --> 00:05:44,792
I'm gonna get a blood clot
with this thing! Oh, my God!

130
00:05:44,876 --> 00:05:46,419
Why don't you put it
in the trailer?

131
00:05:46,544 --> 00:05:49,463
Why don't I put you in the trailer?
Good one, Charlie.

132
00:05:49,547 --> 00:05:51,757
That's actually not a bad idea.
I wouldn't mind riding back there.

133
00:05:51,883 --> 00:05:54,260
There's a hell of a lot more room.
I'm done with that.

134
00:05:54,343 --> 00:05:56,429
Oh, come on!

135
00:05:56,554 --> 00:05:59,557
Oh, it's in my- Get it!
You're gonna burn a hole in the new upholstery!

136
00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:01,976
It's not new upholstery.
What makes you think it's new upholstery?

137
00:06:02,101 --> 00:06:03,686
Did you get it?
Oh, yeah!

138
00:06:03,811 --> 00:06:05,521
This sucks! Deandra, pull over.
This is terrible.

139
00:06:05,646 --> 00:06:07,356
I wanna go in the back with Dennis.
Yeah.

140
00:06:07,481 --> 00:06:10,651
You guys ride in back, and we'll- Yeah.
We'll go in the back.

141
00:06:14,614 --> 00:06:16,866
Mmm. This is more like it,
huh, Frank?

142
00:06:16,949 --> 00:06:18,659
Got a lot of room back here.

143
00:06:18,743 --> 00:06:22,038
It's muggy back here. Muggy.
My glands are starting to swell up.

144
00:06:22,163 --> 00:06:24,916
Yeah. Well, maybe we crack
that door a little bit.

145
00:06:24,999 --> 00:06:27,209
What? And go flying out at the first corner?
I don't think so, buddy.

146
00:06:27,293 --> 00:06:29,128
Well, just to crack it-
just a little bit.

147
00:06:29,211 --> 00:06:30,630
- You want to crack it?
- Yeah, we'll crack it.

148
00:06:30,713 --> 00:06:33,466
- Crack it.
- Whoa. It's hard to stand up back here.

149
00:06:33,549 --> 00:06:36,719
Furniture is what we need.
We'll pick some up at the Italian market.

150
00:06:36,802 --> 00:06:39,013
When's the last time you saw
furniture in an Italian market?

151
00:06:39,138 --> 00:06:41,432
Those people will sell you anything.
They'll sell you their children. They don't care.

152
00:06:41,515 --> 00:06:43,768
- Provolone and salami.
- They sell everything at the Italian market.

153
00:06:43,851 --> 00:06:46,103
These people are like
descendants of Gypsies.

154
00:06:46,187 --> 00:06:48,439
They come in. They sell their shit.
They bang each other.

155
00:06:48,522 --> 00:06:51,609
I don't know what they do, but you get
to haggle with them. It's a lot of fun.

156
00:06:51,692 --> 00:06:55,071
- In the meantime, I'll prop this beer bottle under the door.
- All right.

157
00:06:55,154 --> 00:06:59,075
That's good. Yeah.

158
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:00,743
Uh-
There we go.

159
00:07:00,868 --> 00:07:04,163
Perfect. Now, the weight of the door
will keep the beer bottle in place.

160
00:07:04,246 --> 00:07:06,540
Good.

161
00:07:06,666 --> 00:07:09,085
Nice, huh? Move over a little bit.
Let me sit on the cooler.

162
00:07:12,046 --> 00:07:14,548
Goddamn it!

163
00:07:14,632 --> 00:07:18,094
All right, now this I can get into.
You know? A little space back here.

164
00:07:18,177 --> 00:07:20,930
You guys want to listen to some tunes?
Got some CDs from Dennis here.

165
00:07:21,055 --> 00:07:24,725
Hate to break it to you, but there's no
CD player in here. Are you shitting me?

166
00:07:24,850 --> 00:07:27,061
No. Why would you buy a
car with no CD player?

167
00:07:27,186 --> 00:07:29,730
Because the guy knocked 50 bucks off.
So you had the option?

168
00:07:29,855 --> 00:07:32,233
Yeah, I had the option! Oh, my God!
And you went with the tape deck?

169
00:07:32,358 --> 00:07:34,068
Yes, I did, Charlie!
That is so cheap, Dee!

170
00:07:34,193 --> 00:07:36,988
You're cheap! Why did you buy this
crappy little car in the first place?

171
00:07:37,071 --> 00:07:40,074
Because you guys rammed my last
one into a wall! That's why.

172
00:07:40,157 --> 00:07:42,076
Whatever.
What tapes do you have?

173
00:07:42,159 --> 00:07:44,328
Tapes?
Who has tapes any more?

174
00:07:44,412 --> 00:07:47,373
I would've thought that you would've
at least made a mix for the road trip.

175
00:07:47,456 --> 00:07:49,709
You didn't invite me
on your road trip!

176
00:07:49,792 --> 00:07:51,669
You don't keep
a good mix tape in your car?

177
00:07:51,794 --> 00:07:53,587
I just bought the car this morning, Charlie!
Okay! All right!

178
00:07:53,713 --> 00:07:55,756
Are you going to yell the whole
way there, Dee? Jesus Christ.

179
00:07:55,881 --> 00:07:57,758
Just shut up and turn the radio on.
Yeah, put the radio on.

180
00:07:57,883 --> 00:07:59,677
Just turn the radio on!

181
00:07:59,802 --> 00:08:01,595
Find a station.
I'm trying.

182
00:08:01,721 --> 00:08:04,515
The antenna is probably broken on this piece of shit car!
It's static. Find a station.

183
00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:06,517
You're a piece of shit...
car. Wait a second.

184
00:08:06,642 --> 00:08:08,936
There's a tape right down here, I think.
You got a tape?

185
00:08:09,061 --> 00:08:10,604
Yeah, it's under the seat.
Give it to me. Gimme.

186
00:08:10,730 --> 00:08:12,273
It's jammed in the corner of the seat.
Give it to me.

187
00:08:12,398 --> 00:08:14,817
I'm trying to give it- Gimme, gimme,
gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme,

188
00:08:14,942 --> 00:08:16,902
There we go. gimme, gimme,
gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme...

189
00:08:16,986 --> 00:08:19,238
Calm down, dude.

190
00:08:21,532 --> 00:08:22,616
Oh, man.

191
00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:25,119
Is an attainable goal.

192
00:08:25,202 --> 00:08:27,663
The first step is releasing
the anger and aggression...

193
00:08:27,788 --> 00:08:30,082
that one holds inside.
Pop it out, right?

194
00:08:30,166 --> 00:08:31,792
Yeah.
Quickly.

195
00:08:38,507 --> 00:08:41,093
All right, I'm gonna run to the
ladies' room for two seconds.

196
00:08:41,218 --> 00:08:44,096
I'm gonna take my keys in case
you jerks try anything. Really?

197
00:08:44,180 --> 00:08:47,683
All right, Charlie. Get ready to scratch
two things off of your bucket list.

198
00:08:47,767 --> 00:08:50,186
Oh, I don't have a bucket list,
dude, 'cause I'm not dying.

199
00:08:50,269 --> 00:08:52,605
Everybody's dying, bitch.
Let's get you some fruit.

200
00:08:52,688 --> 00:08:55,066
Guys, we're gonna go grab some
furniture to throw in the back.

201
00:08:55,149 --> 00:08:57,234
Ten minutes. That's all.
And we meet back here.

202
00:08:57,359 --> 00:08:59,737
Well, yeah. But get a good deal.
I mean, talk to the guy. Baden

203
00:08:59,862 --> 00:09:01,572
There's no rush, right?
Ten. Ten minutes.

204
00:09:01,697 --> 00:09:04,241
Have fun, man. Have fun.
Uh, I've never had a strawberry either.

205
00:09:04,325 --> 00:09:06,410
That's astounding.

206
00:09:06,494 --> 00:09:08,412
Oh, Charlie,
I'm excited for you, bro.

207
00:09:08,496 --> 00:09:10,206
Hey!
Pears.

208
00:09:10,331 --> 00:09:12,374
Nice! Yes. One of nature's
most delectable fruits.

209
00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:14,043
Mmm. Mm-hmm.
Excuse me, sir.

210
00:09:14,168 --> 00:09:16,087
How much for this?
Those are 50 cents.

211
00:09:16,170 --> 00:09:18,923
Well, I won't pay full price.
So I'll give you a dime.

212
00:09:19,048 --> 00:09:21,342
They're 50 cents, buddy. Very well.
I'll drop you a quarter.

213
00:09:21,467 --> 00:09:23,094
No.
Okay. Thirty-five cents.

214
00:09:23,177 --> 00:09:25,471
I don't have time for this friggin' shit.
Give me the 35.

215
00:09:25,554 --> 00:09:27,431
Hey, yeah!
Nice, man.

216
00:09:27,515 --> 00:09:28,766
I talked you down.
Good barter.

217
00:09:28,849 --> 00:09:29,934
There you go.
Good barter.

218
00:09:30,017 --> 00:09:31,477
All right, Bozo. Thank you.

219
00:09:31,602 --> 00:09:34,355
I'm calling a lot of people Bozo now.
It's like my new thing. Dude.

220
00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:36,482
Chomp into it. Yeah.
Just bite it?

221
00:09:36,607 --> 00:09:39,401
Okay. Like a piece of fruit.
You would bite into it...

222
00:09:39,485 --> 00:09:42,113
Tastes like sand.

223
00:09:42,196 --> 00:09:43,405
Like sand?

224
00:09:43,489 --> 00:09:45,908
Oh, that-
that pear's not ripe, dude.

225
00:09:46,033 --> 00:09:48,619
Ah. He burned us.
Gypsy son of a bitch burned us.

226
00:09:48,702 --> 00:09:51,664
Excuse me, sir?
What are you doing to my friend, Bozo?

227
00:09:51,789 --> 00:09:54,333
You burned us. it's dry.
You picked it out.

228
00:09:54,416 --> 00:09:58,379
Well, let's not get into a whole “who
picked out what.” I want my 35 cents back.

229
00:09:58,462 --> 00:10:00,965
- Charlie, give him the pear.
- I can't. I just ate it.

230
00:10:01,090 --> 00:10:04,468
The whole thing?
Yeah. It was pretty gross.

231
00:10:04,552 --> 00:10:06,345
The stem and then-
and the core?

232
00:10:06,428 --> 00:10:07,972
You didn't tell me not
to eat the stem, dude!

233
00:10:08,097 --> 00:10:10,683
Did you eat the stickers that are all over it?
Yeah, it was gross!

234
00:10:10,766 --> 00:10:12,601
Of course it's gross!
It's a sticker, bro!

235
00:10:12,726 --> 00:10:15,312
I eat stickers all the time, dude!
Oh, my God.

236
00:10:15,396 --> 00:10:18,315
This whole thing is a disaster.
I'm going back to the car.

237
00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:20,651
Come on. Let's go. I don't know.
They got a lot of good stuff here.

238
00:10:20,734 --> 00:10:22,361
I like the rocking chair.
Very nice.

239
00:10:22,444 --> 00:10:24,780
But I do like those wicker chairs.
They might be more forgiving on my bottom.

240
00:10:24,905 --> 00:10:26,782
Good. It's a tough decision though.
I don't know.

241
00:10:26,907 --> 00:10:29,493
Well, make one, Den.
Make one, please. Make a decision?

242
00:10:29,577 --> 00:10:32,663
Um, sir? Hi. We're interested
in these wicker chairs,

243
00:10:32,746 --> 00:10:34,957
but we're totally unwilling
to pay full price for them, so...

244
00:10:35,082 --> 00:10:37,001
You're gonna barter with the guy?
Yeah.

245
00:10:37,084 --> 00:10:40,045
We're not gonna barter with him.
We're not bartering. We'll pay full price.

246
00:10:40,129 --> 00:10:41,547
Get the wicker chairs.
No, no, no, no, no. Frank.

247
00:10:41,630 --> 00:10:43,549
Come on. The Gypsy wants to barter.
Let's barter with him.

248
00:10:43,674 --> 00:10:46,177
We don't have time to barter.
All right. We'll pay full price for...

249
00:10:46,260 --> 00:10:48,179
Whoa.
Is that a French press?

250
00:10:48,262 --> 00:10:50,055
Sir, how much for that
fine-looking French press?

251
00:10:50,139 --> 00:10:52,308
We don 'I need
a French press, Dennis.

252
00:10:52,433 --> 00:10:54,852
What, do you expect me to drink gas station
coffee all the way to the Grand Canyon?

253
00:10:54,935 --> 00:10:58,189
I don't think so, asshole. Sir, the man
will pay full price for the French press,

254
00:10:58,272 --> 00:11:01,775
or I will, however, be willing to
barter with you for a very long time.

255
00:11:01,859 --> 00:11:03,444
- Full price.
- Great!

256
00:11:03,527 --> 00:11:05,237
Hey, you guys seen anybody
selling cassette tapes?

257
00:11:05,321 --> 00:11:07,740
Deandra, what the hell are you doing?
What are you drinking?

258
00:11:07,823 --> 00:11:10,784
It's an energy drink. You guys are drinking beer.
I gotta tweak on something.

259
00:11:10,910 --> 00:11:13,871
You're gonna be pissing
every 15 feet. Nah!

260
00:11:13,954 --> 00:11:16,624
I know what I'm doing.
I'm buying you a piss jar. Ooh!

261
00:11:16,707 --> 00:11:18,667
Hold on a second.
I think I see some tapes down there.

262
00:11:18,792 --> 00:11:21,420
I'm gonna go barter with that guy.
Barter with the Gypsy.

263
00:11:21,503 --> 00:11:24,757
Dude, I'm telling you, it's black to yellow.
And no one ever uses...

264
00:11:24,882 --> 00:11:27,426
Black to yellow'? No, dude. It's blue to something.
You never let me do this, okay?

265
00:11:27,551 --> 00:11:29,136
And hurry up, man.
It's blue to something.

266
00:11:29,220 --> 00:11:31,805
Just use the black to yellow, and
the car will start. Oh, shit!

267
00:11:31,889 --> 00:11:34,141
You guys, check it out.
I found this Soul Asylum tape,

268
00:11:34,225 --> 00:11:36,936
and I totally talked the guy down
to, like, half the asking price.

269
00:11:37,061 --> 00:11:38,854
Yeah.
Oh, goddamn it!

270
00:11:38,938 --> 00:11:40,814
Yeah. There was a bunch
of wires hanging down,

271
00:11:40,940 --> 00:11:43,317
and I was trying to put them back
up into- Shut up! Just shut up!

272
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:45,027
Here's your piss jar.

273
00:11:45,110 --> 00:11:47,780
Yo, Frank, I'm gonna hop in the back with Dennis.
You want to switch with me?

274
00:11:47,905 --> 00:11:51,116
Switch-ola? They're gonna argue the whole way.
I don't wanna listen to it.

275
00:11:51,242 --> 00:11:53,994
No, I don't like it in there anyway.
All right.

276
00:11:55,955 --> 00:11:59,124
- Hey, you want a cup of joe, my man?
- Oh, yeah, definitely, dude.

277
00:11:59,250 --> 00:12:02,544
I got a pipin'-hot one ready for you right now.
Hook me up, bro.

278
00:12:02,670 --> 00:12:04,755
Hook me up! All right.

279
00:12:04,838 --> 00:12:07,925
That's a pretty sweet duct tape rig
you got going on the door, man.

280
00:12:08,008 --> 00:12:10,135
You like that? Taped the chairs
down too, so they don't slide any.

281
00:12:10,219 --> 00:12:12,721
I know, but you stopped at the grill,
and that's got me confused.

282
00:12:12,805 --> 00:12:15,724
- Ran out of tape actually.
- Oh, right. It's not gonna slide through the crack?

283
00:12:15,849 --> 00:12:18,978
It won't because I measured the crack, and the
crack is smaller than the height of the grill.

284
00:12:19,061 --> 00:12:20,854
- We are all hooked up here, dude.
- Mmm.

285
00:12:20,980 --> 00:12:25,567
Now, are you nervous at all about leaving Philly?
Like, is anything bad gonna happen?

286
00:12:25,651 --> 00:12:28,946
I don't think so, man.
I'm excited about it.

287
00:12:29,029 --> 00:12:31,699
I've just never been outside of Philly.
I don't know what people are like.

288
00:12:31,782 --> 00:12:34,535
- Well, people are people.
- Nobody's gonna be, like, a dick?

289
00:12:34,618 --> 00:12:36,620
There are probably gonna be some
dicks out there. Yeah, sure.

290
00:12:36,745 --> 00:12:40,374
But I'll be there. I'll back you up, man.
Hey, thanks, man.

291
00:12:40,499 --> 00:12:43,585
I tell you what will help. Shotgun a beer?
That'll calm my nerves.

292
00:12:43,711 --> 00:12:46,046
It sure will.
Let's do that.

293
00:12:53,345 --> 00:12:55,264
Yeah.

294
00:12:55,347 --> 00:12:58,475
Let's play a drinking game.
Name all 50 states. Drink while you think.

295
00:12:58,559 --> 00:13:00,436
That's gonna suck.
I'm not drinking.

296
00:13:00,561 --> 00:13:03,397
Frank, will you drive for a little bit?
I've been drinking all day.

297
00:13:03,522 --> 00:13:06,400
Fine. Uh, go. Maine.

298
00:13:06,525 --> 00:13:07,943
Uh, New Hampshire.
Vermont.

299
00:13:08,068 --> 00:13:09,361
Philly.
North Virginia.

300
00:13:09,486 --> 00:13:11,363
South Virginia.
East Virginia.

301
00:13:11,488 --> 00:13:13,949
Uh, South Virginia.
Did I say that already? Yes.

302
00:13:14,074 --> 00:13:16,076
Are you guys shitting me?
Shit. All right. Start over.

303
00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:18,078
No, I'm not gonna start over.
I was right. The game sucks.

304
00:13:18,162 --> 00:13:19,872
It's the drinking
that's the amusing part.

305
00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:25,419
I got an idea.

306
00:13:26,879 --> 00:13:29,298
Georgia. That's six.

307
00:13:29,381 --> 00:13:33,218
Oh. I was gonna-
No.

308
00:13:33,302 --> 00:13:35,596
Jesus Christ.

309
00:13:35,679 --> 00:13:40,351
You guys are gonna be hammered before
I'm finished naming the East Coast.

310
00:13:40,476 --> 00:13:43,145
Bro, I gotta cook up some hot dogs, man.
All right.

311
00:13:43,228 --> 00:13:45,147
I got a proposition for you, man.
Check this out.

312
00:13:45,230 --> 00:13:47,649
What do you say we smash
these wicker chairs to bits,

313
00:13:47,733 --> 00:13:50,110
put them in the middle
of the U-Haul- which is metal...

314
00:13:50,194 --> 00:13:52,196
and we burn the wicker chairs
and cook the hot dogs on that?

315
00:13:52,279 --> 00:13:54,990
What do you mean?
Cook the hot dogs over the fire?

316
00:13:55,074 --> 00:13:58,202
And then we'll get some new wicker chairs
next time we're at a Gypsy hangout spot.

317
00:13:58,285 --> 00:14:00,704
Okay. You think we're gonna be
going to a lot of those?

318
00:14:00,829 --> 00:14:04,375
'Cause I feel like I already dodged a
bullet once today. What do you mean?

319
00:14:04,500 --> 00:14:08,921
Well, I mean, you know, Gypsies- I don't
want anyone shrinking my head and shit.

320
00:14:09,004 --> 00:14:11,131
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, first of all,

321
00:14:11,215 --> 00:14:13,133
it was not Gypsies ever
that did that.

322
00:14:13,217 --> 00:14:15,135
That's sort of
a witch doctor thing.

323
00:14:15,219 --> 00:14:18,263
But either way, neither one
of them can shrink heads.

324
00:14:18,389 --> 00:14:22,601
Let's burn the chairs. All right.
A couple hot dogs will calm me down.

325
00:14:22,726 --> 00:14:25,604
Thanks for driving.
I really appreciate the ride.

326
00:14:25,687 --> 00:14:27,773
Yeah.

327
00:14:27,856 --> 00:14:30,776
So you're
headed to Hollywood, huh?

328
00:14:30,859 --> 00:14:32,945
Yeah.

329
00:14:33,028 --> 00:14:35,447
Oh, my God.

330
00:14:35,531 --> 00:14:38,200
Oh, my God. You're running
away from home, aren't you?

331
00:14:38,283 --> 00:14:41,120
Um, yeah, maybe.
Kinda.

332
00:14:41,203 --> 00:14:43,789
Oh, no, no, no.

333
00:14:43,872 --> 00:14:47,626
Sweet baby, they are gonna
eat you alive in Hollywood.

334
00:14:47,709 --> 00:14:50,421
Oh, you're definitely
gonna end up doing gay porn...

335
00:14:50,546 --> 00:14:53,340
with this tiny little
body of yours. No.

336
00:14:53,424 --> 00:14:55,968
Oh, man, kid.

337
00:14:56,051 --> 00:14:58,053
I'll be fine.

338
00:14:58,137 --> 00:15:00,472
I've actually got an uncle
out there that's...

339
00:15:00,556 --> 00:15:03,767
Shh.

340
00:15:05,185 --> 00:15:07,688
I got something you need
to hear about.

341
00:15:09,022 --> 00:15:11,233
Hold on a second.

342
00:15:23,704 --> 00:15:28,125
Right. I've actually got this
uncle out there that said that...

343
00:15:44,892 --> 00:15:48,145
What is that?

344
00:15:48,228 --> 00:15:50,481
Is that piss? Is that piss?

345
00:15:50,606 --> 00:15:53,275
Pull over! You might as well pull over.
He's just gonna keep yelling.

346
00:15:53,358 --> 00:15:55,277
Pull over, you little dick!

347
00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:56,778
Stop the car!

348
00:15:56,904 --> 00:15:58,155
Piss!
You know what?

349
00:15:58,238 --> 00:16:00,908
Jesus Christ, Dee!
I'm covered in piss!

350
00:16:00,991 --> 00:16:02,910
Well, maybe you shouldn't
have had your window down!

351
00:16:02,993 --> 00:16:05,537
Maybe you shouldn't be throwing
jars of pee out the window!

352
00:16:05,662 --> 00:16:07,831
Maybe I should, maybe I shouldn't.
It's up for debate. You shouldn't!

353
00:16:07,915 --> 00:16:09,708
Hey, what the hell is that?

354
00:16:10,751 --> 00:16:13,086
[Mac Coughs, Spits] Oh!

355
00:16:13,170 --> 00:16:15,923
Oh! Oh.

356
00:16:19,176 --> 00:16:21,094
Holy shit!

357
00:16:27,518 --> 00:16:31,605
Damn. It's dark, and we haven't
even left Philly yet.

358
00:16:31,688 --> 00:16:34,441
I'm so sorry, dude.
I don't know what happened, man.

359
00:16:34,525 --> 00:16:38,153
It's like, we lit the chairs, and there must've
been a glaze on the wicker or something.

360
00:16:38,278 --> 00:16:40,280
Yeah. 'Cause, like, we
passed out instantly.

361
00:16:40,364 --> 00:16:43,742
- Some sort of a poison glaze.
- What are we, 20 minutes away from the bar?

362
00:16:43,825 --> 00:16:46,370
Yeah, we're close.
I use this gas station all the time.

363
00:16:46,453 --> 00:16:49,331
Sorry. Took a little longer than I thought.
There was a line for the bathroom.

364
00:16:49,414 --> 00:16:51,917
Hey-oh! Check out this couch
I found by the Dumpster.

365
00:16:52,042 --> 00:16:54,294
Toss it in. Nice.
Got it, buddy.

366
00:16:54,378 --> 00:16:57,214
Wait. What's the plan here?
You guys are still gonna ride in the back?

367
00:16:57,297 --> 00:16:58,882
Oh, yeah.
I sure as shit am, dude.

368
00:16:58,966 --> 00:17:00,968
You're not gonna get the smell of
piss out of that car for weeks.

369
00:17:01,093 --> 00:17:03,679
Yeah, it's pretty bad.
I'm in. Me too.

370
00:17:03,762 --> 00:17:05,722
You guys getting in too?
All right, let's do it.

371
00:17:05,806 --> 00:17:07,724
All right, whatever.

372
00:17:07,808 --> 00:17:09,726
Have fun in the death trap!

373
00:17:09,810 --> 00:17:11,728
I guess I'm riding with you, bro.

374
00:17:11,812 --> 00:17:15,440
Hey, you're not gonna
sing to me, are you?

375
00:17:15,524 --> 00:17:17,442
I might.

376
00:17:17,526 --> 00:17:20,237
All right.

377
00:17:22,072 --> 00:17:25,075
Hey, you know, Dee, I didn't
want to say anything back there,

378
00:17:25,158 --> 00:17:27,077
'cause I didn't want to be
rude to the kid,

379
00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:29,413
but you really gotta be careful
just picking up hitchhikers.

380
00:17:29,496 --> 00:17:32,416
I know. But that kid was, like, really
young and sweet and innocent-looking.

381
00:17:32,499 --> 00:17:34,585
Right. But those are the ones
you gotta watch out for.

382
00:17:34,668 --> 00:17:36,587
Those are the most'
dangerous hitchhikers...

383
00:17:36,670 --> 00:17:39,881
the ones that lure you into thinking
they're sane by acting like normal people.

384
00:17:39,965 --> 00:17:42,426
They act like they're normal
and then they carve you up.

385
00:17:42,509 --> 00:17:45,262
No way. Wasn't gonna happen.
I had my eyes on him the whole time.

386
00:17:45,345 --> 00:17:47,764
See, I've always got an
“B” and a “C” strike plan...

387
00:17:47,848 --> 00:17:50,058
to get us out of any potentially
life-threatening situation.

388
00:17:50,142 --> 00:17:52,060
Yeah. He probably just carved up
his mother and father,

389
00:17:52,185 --> 00:17:53,687
That's right.
And he's running away on the road.

390
00:17:53,770 --> 00:17:56,607
Could be, Frank. All I'm saying is
that I'm ready for any situation.

391
00:17:56,690 --> 00:17:59,401
- And that's why you're all safe as long as I'm around.
- Uh-huh.

392
00:17:59,484 --> 00:18:01,403
Yeah. I did an ocular pat-down
and I cleared him.

393
00:18:01,528 --> 00:18:03,280
Say what?
I'm sorry?

394
00:18:03,363 --> 00:18:05,407
I'm saying that I did an ocular
assessment of the situation,

395
00:18:05,490 --> 00:18:07,993
garnered that he was not a security
risk, and I cleared him for passage.

396
00:18:08,076 --> 00:18:09,578
“Ocular pat-down”!

397
00:18:09,661 --> 00:18:11,246
What in the hell
are you talking about?

398
00:18:11,330 --> 00:18:14,082
I'm talking about breaking down
the security situation,

399
00:18:14,166 --> 00:18:16,710
clearing an individual
and making it safe for passage.

400
00:18:18,629 --> 00:18:23,842
Well, how exactly do you view yourself
within the context of our group?

401
00:18:25,010 --> 00:18:27,012
The sheriff of Paddy's.

402
00:18:27,095 --> 00:18:29,014
Well, I can't have this
conversation right now.

403
00:18:29,097 --> 00:18:30,766
The sheriff of Paddy's?
Can you move?

404
00:18:30,849 --> 00:18:32,351
I want to unfold this thing.
I'm gonna pass out.

405
00:18:32,434 --> 00:18:35,020
Got a long trip ahead of us.
Careful.

406
00:18:35,103 --> 00:18:37,022
I got it.

407
00:18:46,615 --> 00:18:50,035
Aah! Aah!

408
00:18:50,118 --> 00:18:52,162
Get off me, dude!

409
00:18:53,372 --> 00:18:55,374
Are we moving?

410
00:18:55,499 --> 00:18:57,501
I think we're stopped.
Dee, what time is it? What?

411
00:18:57,584 --> 00:18:59,461
Hmm?

412
00:18:59,586 --> 00:19:02,172
7:00 a.m. 7:00 a.m.?
Shit, we've been driving all night.

413
00:19:02,297 --> 00:19:04,299
We're not moving, are we? No.

414
00:19:04,424 --> 00:19:06,301
Whoa. Shit.
You think we're, like, halfway there?

415
00:19:06,426 --> 00:19:08,053
Where do you think we are?
I wonder how far we got.

416
00:19:08,136 --> 00:19:10,097
I wonder if we're like...

417
00:19:12,808 --> 00:19:16,186
What the hell is this?

418
00:19:16,269 --> 00:19:19,231
- Oh, are we back at Paddy's?
- Wait. Where the hell is my car?

419
00:19:19,314 --> 00:19:20,774
Oh, goddamn!

420
00:19:20,899 --> 00:19:22,651
Shit balls!
What's going on?

421
00:19:24,945 --> 00:19:27,322
Hey, you guys are back!

422
00:19:27,406 --> 00:19:30,951
- How was the Grand Canyon?
- What the hell happened to my car, Charlie?

423
00:19:31,034 --> 00:19:34,079
I don't know. Last thing I remember,
uh, we were at the gas station.

424
00:19:34,162 --> 00:19:37,249
And then you guys hopped in back, and I
hopped in front with the hitchhiker.

425
00:19:37,332 --> 00:19:40,585
Then I got freaked out about leaving Philly,
so I asked him if he'd drop me off back here.

426
00:19:40,669 --> 00:19:44,089
And he said he'd take you guys to the Grand Canyon,
and then I drank all night and passed out.

427
00:19:44,172 --> 00:19:47,050
And then you guys were getting here now,
so I figured- Did you go and come back?

428
00:19:47,134 --> 00:19:49,052
He didn't take us
to the Grand Canyon.

429
00:19:49,136 --> 00:19:51,054
He detached the trailer
and stole my car!

430
00:19:51,179 --> 00:19:52,889
Really?
Yeah!

431
00:19:52,973 --> 00:19:55,434
The weird thing is that Mac had already
cleared him as a security risk.

432
00:19:55,517 --> 00:19:57,894
Did an ocular pat-down on him.
Amazing, right?

433
00:19:57,978 --> 00:19:59,604
- You cleared him, Mac?
- I cleared him.

434
00:19:59,730 --> 00:20:01,148
Goddamn it!
I thought he was clear!

435
00:20:01,273 --> 00:20:03,108
He wasn't clear! I'm calling the cops.
He was clear.

436
00:20:03,191 --> 00:20:05,485
I thought Mac cleared him.
I didn't think there'd be a problem.

437
00:20:05,610 --> 00:20:07,612
I don't know how- I kinda had
a good time on the trip.

438
00:20:07,696 --> 00:20:10,240
Looking on the bright side
of things. All right?

439
00:20:10,365 --> 00:20:12,617
Let's drink some beers, man.
I'm hungover as shit. Absolutely, man.

440
00:20:12,701 --> 00:20:16,163
- Little hair of the dog.
- That was the closest I ever got to being out of Philly, man.

441
00:20:16,246 --> 00:20:17,873
All right, cheers.
Cheers, you guys.

442
00:20:17,998 --> 00:20:19,291
Texas. Oops. State game?

443
00:20:19,374 --> 00:20:20,792
Ohio.
Rhode Island.

444
00:20:20,876 --> 00:20:22,794
Nice.
Uh, Detroit.

445
00:20:22,878 --> 00:20:24,546
Nope.
That's not a state. Drink.

446
00:20:24,671 --> 00:20:27,340
Milwaukee!
Jesus H. Christ.

447
00:21:11,176 --> 00:21:12,385
ENGLISH - US - PSDH