1
00:00:02,887 --> 00:00:05,431
Hey, come on, man. Be careful, man.
You're spilling on the floor.

2
00:00:05,515 --> 00:00:07,725
I don't understand why
you don't just use a cup.

3
00:00:07,850 --> 00:00:10,103
I'm trying to be inconspicuous.
Inconspicu...

4
00:00:10,228 --> 00:00:12,397
Your entire mouth is
stained red, Frank. It is?

5
00:00:12,522 --> 00:00:14,482
Yeah. Aren't we gonna be
at the barbecue soon?

6
00:00:14,607 --> 00:00:17,485
Yeah. I'm pregaming, man. What's going on with you?
You're going off the deep end lately.

7
00:00:17,569 --> 00:00:20,363
I feel like he's been wading around
in the deep end for a while.

8
00:00:20,446 --> 00:00:23,491
No, bro, it's different.
He's staying out all hours of the night.

9
00:00:23,575 --> 00:00:26,619
I never see him. If he is around,
he's usually not even wearing clothes.

10
00:00:26,703 --> 00:00:29,038
[Mac, Dennis Laughing]
I'm wearing clothes now, bitch.

11
00:00:29,122 --> 00:00:31,541
You're wearing a shirt that's on
inside out and it's covered in grease.

12
00:00:31,666 --> 00:00:33,751
Yeah, you're really greasy.
It's not grease. It's sap.

13
00:00:33,835 --> 00:00:36,921
- Sap? How did you get covered in sap?
- I got really wasted.

14
00:00:37,005 --> 00:00:39,632
- I must've climbed a tree.
- You're really stepping up the insanity, huh?

15
00:00:39,716 --> 00:00:42,051
I'm trying to push myself.
I want to see how far I could go.

16
00:00:42,135 --> 00:00:44,512
I feel like you've been standing on
the edge of a cliff for a while now.

17
00:00:44,596 --> 00:00:46,514
I say hop off.
Let's see where you land.

18
00:00:46,598 --> 00:00:49,309
I really wish you wouldn't encourage him, man.
I really wish you wouldn't.

19
00:00:49,392 --> 00:00:52,270
If somebody wants to push his boundaries,
you gotta let him. Frank, jump.

20
00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:54,647
I never felt more alive
in my life.

21
00:00:54,772 --> 00:00:57,191
Oh, I'm sure. I'm sure.
There's the street, right there.

22
00:01:02,488 --> 00:01:05,074
What the hell?

23
00:01:05,158 --> 00:01:07,035
I thought we were going
to a barbecue, Frank.

24
00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:10,121
It's more of a party in the park.
We're at a cemetery.

25
00:01:10,204 --> 00:01:13,833
The party is in the cemetery.

26
00:01:13,916 --> 00:01:17,337
- Who has a party in a cemetery?
- Your Uncle Max.

27
00:01:17,420 --> 00:01:19,130
He just croaked.

28
00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:23,051
Flush that turd down the drain!

29
00:02:11,933 --> 00:02:14,852
Does anybody else feel
really uncomfortable?

30
00:02:14,936 --> 00:02:16,938
Yes. We're completely
underdressed. It's embarrassing.

31
00:02:17,063 --> 00:02:20,858
What are we doing here, Frank? What's your angle?
I wanna bang your Aunt Donna.

32
00:02:20,942 --> 00:02:23,986
Why would you wanna bang
our mom's sister...

33
00:02:24,070 --> 00:02:26,030
at the funeral of her husband?

34
00:02:26,114 --> 00:02:30,451
Hmm. Well, I don't know
how many years on this earth I got left.

35
00:02:30,535 --> 00:02:33,705
I'm gonna get
real weird with it.

36
00:02:33,788 --> 00:02:36,833
Meanwhile, block the wind.
I'm gonna roast this bone.

37
00:02:36,958 --> 00:02:38,459
Okay. Jesus Christ.

38
00:02:38,543 --> 00:02:40,253
Come on. Get in there.
What are you doing?

39
00:02:40,336 --> 00:02:42,296
That is enough. I've had enough.
He's definitely reached his limit.

40
00:02:42,380 --> 00:02:44,048
I've reached my limit,
that's for sure.

41
00:02:48,136 --> 00:02:50,263
Now it's starting to affect our lives.
Yeah.

42
00:02:50,346 --> 00:02:52,390
And I think maybe we should have
an intervention or something.

43
00:02:52,473 --> 00:02:54,392
An intervention
might be a good idea.

44
00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:57,729
If he starts banging Aunt Donna, we're gonna
have the garbage pail cousin in the mix.

45
00:02:57,812 --> 00:02:59,397
No! No!

46
00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,399
Whoa. Who is
the garbage pail cousin?

47
00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:03,359
Gail the Snail
is the garbage pail cousin.

48
00:03:03,443 --> 00:03:05,653
Oh, Charlie, she is the Worst.

49
00:03:05,737 --> 00:03:09,031
We'd have these family parties and
she'd just glob onto me and Dennis.

50
00:03:09,157 --> 00:03:11,534
We couldn't get rid of her.
The only way was to torture her.

51
00:03:11,659 --> 00:03:13,536
And that's what we did. Yeah.
We'd throw her in the dryer.

52
00:03:13,661 --> 00:03:16,289
We'd throw salt on her. Yeah, we'd throw
salt on her 'cause she was the snail.

53
00:03:16,414 --> 00:03:18,875
Mm-hmm. Get it? Get it?
You throw salt on a snail, and...

54
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,418
It shrivels her up.
It's supposed to shrivel up.

55
00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:22,670
Well, that sounds
a little messed up though, huh?

56
00:03:22,795 --> 00:03:24,380
You don't think we're proud
of that, do you? No.

57
00:03:24,464 --> 00:03:26,424
But you don't understand.
That's the only way you can handle her.

58
00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:28,885
She made us do those things.
And quite frankly, I resent her for it.

59
00:03:29,010 --> 00:03:32,138
What kind of a person salts another
human being? It's terrible.

60
00:03:32,263 --> 00:03:35,558
There's no joy in salting someone.
Everyone loses. Yeah.

61
00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:37,477
It sounds like a-
What's up, suckers?

62
00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:38,936
Hey, Gail.
Hey, Gail.

63
00:03:39,020 --> 00:03:43,065
You look different. I'm more confident.
I've grown into my body.

64
00:03:43,149 --> 00:03:45,234
You're sure showing
a lot of skin, huh?

65
00:03:45,318 --> 00:03:48,696
Jealous? I'm a woman now.
I'm not a virgin any more.

66
00:03:48,821 --> 00:03:50,656
Cool. Thank you.
Okay.

67
00:03:50,740 --> 00:03:55,077
Hey, guys, you wanna
come to my car and take a puff?

68
00:03:55,161 --> 00:03:57,330
I got some medical marijuana.

69
00:03:57,413 --> 00:04:00,500
- We're at your dad's funeral, Gail.
- What evs. I'm over it.

70
00:04:00,583 --> 00:04:03,044
Plus, if we all showed up
super high at the reception,

71
00:04:03,127 --> 00:04:05,880
everyone would be like,
“What?”

72
00:04:06,005 --> 00:04:07,799
Uh- Uh- Okay.
Come on.

73
00:04:07,882 --> 00:04:09,342
Whatever, Gail.
Yes, we'll do that.

74
00:04:09,467 --> 00:04:11,344
Wait in the car and we'll join you.
We'll come get you.

75
00:04:11,427 --> 00:04:13,054
- You guys gonna come?
- We'll come in a second.

76
00:04:13,137 --> 00:04:15,473
- Like five minutes?
- Five minutes. - Anything. Yes.

77
00:04:15,556 --> 00:04:17,600
Anything.
Whatever you say.

78
00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:19,977
See, this is what
happens when you don't have salt.

79
00:04:20,061 --> 00:04:22,063
My God. There's not enough
salt in the world for her.

80
00:04:22,146 --> 00:04:23,940
The garbage pail cousin.

81
00:04:24,065 --> 00:04:27,401
Donna, Donna, Donna, Donna, Donna, Donna.
Hello, Frank.

82
00:04:27,527 --> 00:04:29,487
You surprised to see me? No.

83
00:04:29,612 --> 00:04:31,823
Ooh.
You left several voice mails...

84
00:04:31,948 --> 00:04:35,910
congratulating me on my husband's death.
Well, I was pretty baked.

85
00:04:36,035 --> 00:04:38,162
What do you want?
I have a proposition for you.

86
00:04:38,246 --> 00:04:41,332
I think you and me
ought to bang.

87
00:04:41,457 --> 00:04:44,126
What?
Okay. Hear me out.

88
00:04:44,210 --> 00:04:46,587
Max never liked me.
I hated him.

89
00:04:46,671 --> 00:04:50,174
Barbara didn't like you.
You despised her.

90
00:04:50,258 --> 00:04:53,427
Now, what better way to get
back at them in the grave,

91
00:04:53,511 --> 00:04:57,515
really stick it to 'em,
if you and me plowed?

92
00:04:57,598 --> 00:05:01,519
I mean, really- [
Grinds Teeth ] Hmm?

93
00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:03,771
You get back to me.

94
00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:09,569
Hey. I'm Mac.

95
00:05:10,570 --> 00:05:12,738
Barbara's ex-lover.

96
00:05:12,822 --> 00:05:14,615
She may have mentioned...

97
00:05:16,158 --> 00:05:18,077
You were gonna say something?
No.

98
00:05:21,956 --> 00:05:26,127
You said- No?
No. I was just breathing.

99
00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:47,565
I'll start
by commending you guys...

100
00:05:47,648 --> 00:05:49,692
for taking the initiative
to help Frank.

101
00:05:49,775 --> 00:05:53,112
Ah, we're caring people.
That's our nature.

102
00:05:53,195 --> 00:05:56,324
Um, what's Frank struggling
with the most right now?

103
00:05:56,449 --> 00:05:59,619
Ooh. Ah, he is trying to bang our aunt.
That's the big one.

104
00:05:59,744 --> 00:06:04,415
Uh, these things deal more with drug
and alcohol abuse. Mm-hmm.

105
00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:07,126
Drugs and alcohol are rolled into
what we're talking about here...

106
00:06:07,251 --> 00:06:09,170
Oh, yeah.
With the aunt thing.

107
00:06:09,253 --> 00:06:10,755
So he does have
a drinking problem.

108
00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:12,548
Oh, big time. Big time.
Oh, lady.

109
00:06:12,632 --> 00:06:14,592
But if I'm being honest,
my problem's less with the fact...

110
00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:16,469
that he's drinking and more
that he's doing it without me.

111
00:06:16,552 --> 00:06:20,890
And then I start thinking, "What's wrong with me?
Am I not fun to drink with?”

112
00:06:20,973 --> 00:06:24,101
Oh, no. Don't do that to yourself.
You're plenty of fun to drink with.

113
00:06:24,226 --> 00:06:26,187
Trust me, Charlie.
You get really, really drunk. Oh, yeah.

114
00:06:26,270 --> 00:06:28,439
And then you get reckless,
and it's a lot of fun.

115
00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:29,899
So how do we go
about doing this?

116
00:06:29,982 --> 00:06:32,109
Do we ambush him
and then sort of like berate him...

117
00:06:32,193 --> 00:06:34,445
into becoming the guy
we wanna be around?

118
00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:36,489
You certainly don't berate him.

119
00:06:36,572 --> 00:06:39,867
He needs to know you're coming
from a place of love and concern.

120
00:06:39,951 --> 00:06:41,619
Mm-mmm. Too soft.

121
00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:46,082
I think we should come at him with
an iron fist and crush him into submission.

122
00:06:46,165 --> 00:06:48,417
Right, right.
If we're taking that approach,

123
00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:51,087
you might wanna be armed at
this intervention. Mm-hmm.

124
00:06:51,170 --> 00:06:53,172
Why- Why would
I need to be armed?

125
00:06:53,255 --> 00:06:55,424
Well, Frank's usually carrying
a little gun with him.

126
00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:57,802
- And he doesn't really hesitate to use it.
- And you know What?

127
00:06:57,885 --> 00:06:59,804
Have the gun out and ready to rock
when he comes in.

128
00:06:59,887 --> 00:07:03,933
- We'll all have guns.
- It's just safer. She could put it in her pants.

129
00:07:04,016 --> 00:07:06,060
If we maybe ambush Frank
with a net...

130
00:07:06,143 --> 00:07:08,312
or some kind of rope device,

131
00:07:08,437 --> 00:07:11,482
the gun will maybe drop out of his waist belt.
You wanna bring him in in a net?

132
00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:13,776
- That could gel' awkward.
- Just bring the gun.

133
00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:16,529
Bring a gun. I don't wanna get shot,
so just bring a gun, will you?

134
00:07:18,239 --> 00:07:22,410
You know,
I do offer group therapy.

135
00:07:24,370 --> 00:07:25,579
Yeah.
What are you doing?

136
00:07:25,705 --> 00:07:27,665
What is this you're doing?
What is that? What is that?

137
00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:32,253
With all due respect, you're talking
about bringing guns to an intervention,

138
00:07:32,336 --> 00:07:35,006
and you're drinking wine
out of a soda can.

139
00:07:35,131 --> 00:07:37,258
Yeah.
You put wine in the soda can?

140
00:07:37,383 --> 00:07:39,176
You didn't know, did you?
That's good.

141
00:07:39,260 --> 00:07:40,428
Soda.
You stole Frank's idea.

142
00:07:40,553 --> 00:07:42,138
Actually, it's a pretty good one.
It's a good idea.

143
00:07:42,263 --> 00:07:44,974
The guy's got great ideas. He's a smart man.
That's not what we're here about.

144
00:07:45,057 --> 00:07:48,811
- But I do feel like she just tried an intervention on us.
- Did you intervene on us?

145
00:07:48,894 --> 00:07:52,273
You know What I'm feeling? I'm feeling
like you've lost control of the room here.

146
00:07:52,398 --> 00:07:55,192
And we're the ones that are running things now.
I've lost my trust in you.

147
00:07:55,276 --> 00:07:57,737
- We can do this on our own.
- We can do the intervention without her.

148
00:07:57,820 --> 00:07:59,155
You guys think?
Why not?

149
00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:01,365
All right. Might as well give it a shot.
Let's just do that.

150
00:08:01,449 --> 00:08:03,034
Thank you. Thanks for your help.
You did your best.

151
00:08:03,159 --> 00:08:04,744
After you.
No hard feelings.

152
00:08:04,827 --> 00:08:06,078
I'm gonna grab
some of this literature.

153
00:08:06,162 --> 00:08:07,496
She didn't do
that great of a job.

154
00:08:07,580 --> 00:08:09,081
No, but don't beat her
while she's down.

155
00:08:17,006 --> 00:08:18,924
Frank,
here's another idea.

156
00:08:19,008 --> 00:08:21,385
Oh! Oh!
Where'd you come from?

157
00:08:21,469 --> 00:08:23,637
I've been walking next to you
the entire time.

158
00:08:23,721 --> 00:08:26,515
I'm sorry. I'm a little, uh, lit.

159
00:08:26,599 --> 00:08:30,019
And, uh, I've been
going over this thing.

160
00:08:30,144 --> 00:08:33,189
I'm trying to figure out how-
How to bang Donna. I know.

161
00:08:33,272 --> 00:08:35,691
You've been talking about
it for the last five miles.

162
00:08:35,775 --> 00:08:37,860
Dude, it doesn't matter.
I got a better idea.

163
00:08:37,943 --> 00:08:40,196
I think you should bang
Gail the Snail.

164
00:08:40,321 --> 00:08:42,323
My niece?
Yeah.

165
00:08:42,448 --> 00:08:45,117
Gail the Snail? Dude, what's
more depraved than that, huh?

166
00:08:45,201 --> 00:08:47,286
Plus, you're not blood related,
so it's not that weird.

167
00:08:47,369 --> 00:08:49,205
That is a good idea.

168
00:08:49,288 --> 00:08:52,875
I like the way you're thinking.

169
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,836
Ew!
What's in it for you?

170
00:08:55,961 --> 00:08:57,671
Huh?

171
00:08:57,797 --> 00:09:00,257
Oh! Jesus!
What's in it for you?

172
00:09:00,341 --> 00:09:02,510
Don't worry about
what's in it for me, dude.

173
00:09:02,593 --> 00:09:06,097
Good God! You are disgusting.

174
00:09:06,180 --> 00:09:08,474
A disgusting animal.

175
00:09:16,107 --> 00:09:18,567
Mm. Charlie.

176
00:09:18,651 --> 00:09:20,986
Let's write him a letter.
Let's write Frank a letter.

177
00:09:21,070 --> 00:09:23,322
That's the first step
in any intervention, right?

178
00:09:23,447 --> 00:09:25,116
Huh. Yeah.
Great. All right.

179
00:09:25,199 --> 00:09:27,243
So I'm assuming you'll have
to dictate yours to me,

180
00:09:27,368 --> 00:09:31,288
and then I'll just write it down for you, yeah?
Yes, that'll be fine.

181
00:09:31,372 --> 00:09:33,707
Okay, great.
Let's- Let's do that.

182
00:09:33,791 --> 00:09:36,293
Okay, uh, I guess
my letter would be about...

183
00:09:36,377 --> 00:09:39,296
how Frank and I aren't really making
memories together any more,

184
00:09:39,380 --> 00:09:43,425
and how when we don't make memories
together, that's a hurtful thing for me.

185
00:09:43,509 --> 00:09:46,387
Okay. Uh, you know,
let's just dive right in.

186
00:09:46,470 --> 00:09:49,265
I'm not even gonna try and suss out
where you're going with that one.

187
00:09:49,348 --> 00:09:51,267
Right. Um, number one...

188
00:09:51,350 --> 00:09:54,603
when was the last time we played
Night Crawlers together, Frank?

189
00:09:54,687 --> 00:09:57,356
Oh. Oh, okay.
What is that?

190
00:09:57,439 --> 00:10:01,527
Well, it's not about you.
Why don't you just write it down, and then...

191
00:10:01,610 --> 00:10:05,072
Yeah, but you said it.
You said “Night Crawlers, ”

192
00:10:05,156 --> 00:10:07,616
and now I feel like
I can't move past it.

193
00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:10,828
It's- it's no big deal
I gotta know what that is

194
00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:13,080
You know? I...

195
00:10:13,164 --> 00:10:15,916
If I were you, I'd just write it down
because it's not really a big deal.

196
00:10:16,041 --> 00:10:18,794
What is it?
It's what it sounds like.

197
00:10:18,878 --> 00:10:23,007
What it sounds like is that you two
crawl around like worms in the night.

198
00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:24,967
That's what it sounds like.

199
00:10:25,050 --> 00:10:27,887
This is not about
you, so I'd like for you...

200
00:10:27,970 --> 00:10:30,222
- Damn! Shut up! Guess what!

201
00:10:30,347 --> 00:10:33,017
What? We got you!
What do you guys think?

202
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:35,603
I thought when Frank comes in, we'll
just bang and make a bunch of noise.

203
00:10:35,728 --> 00:10:38,480
Oh, yeah. Ha!
We've got you! All right.

204
00:10:38,564 --> 00:10:40,482
But the pain is a little agitating.
That's overboard, I think.

205
00:10:40,566 --> 00:10:42,484
- It's too much?
- I think that's too far.

206
00:10:42,568 --> 00:10:45,196
The yelling and pointing and accusing and
saying that he's trapped and surrounded...

207
00:10:45,279 --> 00:10:46,572
is probably gonna be-
That's gonna be great.

208
00:10:46,655 --> 00:10:49,158
By the way, you guys, can I
just say, as a side note,

209
00:10:49,241 --> 00:10:51,202
I am loving
this canned wine thing.

210
00:10:51,327 --> 00:10:52,870
I think it's brilliant.
Right?

211
00:10:52,953 --> 00:10:55,956
I'm active. I'm gesturing with my
hands, and I don't feel restricted.

212
00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:58,584
If I was holding a wine glass, I'd be
spilling wine all over the goddamn place.

213
00:10:58,667 --> 00:11:02,171
It would get everywhere. We're not intervening
on Frank for a lack of good ideas.

214
00:11:02,296 --> 00:11:05,883
Well, that's for sure. Oh, no.
Well, guys, maybe we're not doing the right thing.

215
00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:08,844
You're talking a lot about wine.
You got it all over your lips and teeth.

216
00:11:08,928 --> 00:11:12,264
Maybe we need the help of a professional.
We should probably get that lady back.

217
00:11:12,348 --> 00:11:14,391
What are you talking about?
We're coming up with all kinds of good ideas.

218
00:11:14,516 --> 00:11:16,560
We're flowing here.
I feel like we got some good stuff.

219
00:11:16,644 --> 00:11:18,646
I just feel like- Maybe we should
consult with the pamphlets, right?

220
00:11:18,771 --> 00:11:20,689
The pamphlets I grabbed from the office.
Oh, okay.

221
00:11:20,773 --> 00:11:22,233
Well, I've been meaning
to bring that up.

222
00:11:22,316 --> 00:11:24,109
I took a lot at those
pamphlets that you grabbed,

223
00:11:24,193 --> 00:11:26,320
and not a single one of them has
anything to do with intervention.

224
00:11:26,403 --> 00:11:29,365
It's not even close. I'm starting to
think we need to intervene on you...

225
00:11:29,490 --> 00:11:32,576
for your goddamn illiteracy.
Yeah, Charlie, you are getting real dumb.

226
00:11:32,660 --> 00:11:37,164
Come on. All right. See, this is
what I'm talking about. Illiteracy.

227
00:11:37,248 --> 00:11:40,751
What does that word even mean?
Come on.

228
00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:43,337
I'm gonna get the lady,
'cause this is gettin' crazy.

229
00:11:43,420 --> 00:11:45,923
We need help.
I'm gettin' the lady.

230
00:12:00,604 --> 00:12:02,606
- Whoa.
- How you doin', Frank?

231
00:12:02,690 --> 00:12:04,441
What the hell
are you doing here?

232
00:12:04,525 --> 00:12:06,443
Frank, my plan
is finally coming together.

233
00:12:06,527 --> 00:12:09,446
With you out of the picture,
I can swoop in on Donna.

234
00:12:09,530 --> 00:12:11,573
Is that why you pushed me off
onto the Snail?

235
00:12:11,657 --> 00:12:14,201
Yeah, that's right, bitch.
But that's what you wanted anyway, right?

236
00:12:14,285 --> 00:12:16,203
You wanted to be
as depraved as possible.

237
00:12:16,287 --> 00:12:21,625
Yeah. But I think the Snail
is too depraved even for me.

238
00:12:21,709 --> 00:12:23,585
This broad is berserk.

239
00:12:23,711 --> 00:12:26,422
Wake and bake.
You guys bang?

240
00:12:26,505 --> 00:12:31,927
Oh, no. We did a bunch of those Monster
Energy drinks and dry humped. It was awful.

241
00:12:32,011 --> 00:12:33,971
I think she gave me poison ivy.

242
00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:36,974
Hey, hey there, sleepyhead.

243
00:12:37,057 --> 00:12:39,977
I made you breakfast.
I hope you like it crispy 'cause it is burned.

244
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:43,605
What is going on in here?
How did you get in my house?

245
00:12:43,689 --> 00:12:45,733
Did you kick in my door?

246
00:12:45,816 --> 00:12:47,985
Kick, yes. Kick in, no.

247
00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:50,029
That door is solid,
which is the good news.

248
00:12:50,112 --> 00:12:52,823
The bad news
is the Window is not.

249
00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:54,491
That's gonna be a security concern.
But don't worry.

250
00:12:54,575 --> 00:12:56,452
I'm gonna fix it,
make sure it's up to snuff.

251
00:12:56,577 --> 00:12:59,496
You're always safe when you're with me.
Are you ready for your breakfast?

252
00:12:59,580 --> 00:13:01,874
I'm sorry.
What is happening here?

253
00:13:01,999 --> 00:13:06,211
I haven't any idea, honestly.
I'm giving Frank a handy under the table.

254
00:13:06,337 --> 00:13:07,504
That is true.

255
00:13:07,588 --> 00:13:09,923
Look, Snail- Back off.

256
00:13:10,007 --> 00:13:13,344
Because you're just
mashing it now. It's not...

257
00:13:13,427 --> 00:13:14,970
For God sakes, Gail.

258
00:13:15,054 --> 00:13:17,306
Mom, I'm sexually active now.
Get over it.

259
00:13:17,389 --> 00:13:20,017
You're 33 years old.
You're supposed to be sexually active.

260
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:23,270
You're not supposed to be fondling
your uncle under a table.

261
00:13:23,395 --> 00:13:26,315
We're not blood related.
Will you just please leave her alone?

262
00:13:26,398 --> 00:13:30,361
I'll make a deal with you.
I dump the Snail if you and I go out.

263
00:13:30,444 --> 00:13:32,154
Frank, you can't do that
Donna's my girl.

264
00:13:32,237 --> 00:13:34,198
I called her first at the funeral.
Fair is fair.

265
00:13:34,281 --> 00:13:36,367
Let me make something
perfectly clear.

266
00:13:36,450 --> 00:13:39,161
I will never be
with either of you.

267
00:13:39,244 --> 00:13:41,914
Why are you doing this to me?
Why can't you just let me be happy?

268
00:13:42,039 --> 00:13:43,499
I want everybody out of my house.
Jesus Christ.

269
00:13:43,624 --> 00:13:44,875
Out of my house!
Okay!

270
00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:47,044
- Fine.
- Not you. You live here, Gail.

271
00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:49,338
I hate it here. I'm leaving.
I'm going with this guy. He's my boyfriend.

272
00:13:49,421 --> 00:13:51,632
- I'm taking some eggs.
- I am not your boyfriend.

273
00:13:51,715 --> 00:13:54,259
Frank, what is with this chick?
She's berserk.

274
00:13:56,345 --> 00:13:58,889
Oh, okay. I get it.
So Frank sits there,

275
00:13:58,972 --> 00:14:00,974
and we put stools
in a semicircle.

276
00:14:01,058 --> 00:14:02,976
You wanna make sure there's
a border all around him...

277
00:14:03,102 --> 00:14:05,145
so there's no going anywhere.
And zing him from every angle.

278
00:14:05,229 --> 00:14:06,230
Yep.
Okay.

279
00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:08,524
- Thai' makes sense.
- There she is!

280
00:14:08,649 --> 00:14:11,235
Hey! Hey! Thank you for coming!

281
00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:14,780
- We really appreciate this. We really appreciate it.

282
00:14:14,863 --> 00:14:17,908
Well, I'm here because clearly your
friend is in desperate need of help.

283
00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:20,411
Yeah, yeah, yeah!

284
00:14:20,494 --> 00:14:23,539
Well, we realize we also just need
as many people attacking this guy...

285
00:14:23,664 --> 00:14:25,040
as we can possibly get. Mm-hmm.

286
00:14:25,124 --> 00:14:27,751
Well, not attacking.
This is why I'm glad you called me back.

287
00:14:27,835 --> 00:14:30,129
Yeah, okay, listen.
Before we get into that,

288
00:14:30,212 --> 00:14:33,382
could you help us pop a quick intervention
on Charlie for his illiteracy?

289
00:14:33,507 --> 00:14:35,426
The kid can't read or write.
Not a bit.

290
00:14:35,509 --> 00:14:38,303
- No joke. It's no joke.

291
00:14:38,387 --> 00:14:42,224
They've been riding me all day. I can read and write.
I just don't like to read and write.

292
00:14:42,307 --> 00:14:44,351
Let's try and stay focused on Frank.

293
00:14:44,435 --> 00:14:46,437
That's a good point.
He's gonna be here any second.

294
00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:48,480
We told him there was
a giant grease fire...

295
00:14:48,564 --> 00:14:52,192
- and he had to come down immediately.
- [ Charlie, Dennis Chuckling]

296
00:14:52,317 --> 00:14:55,654
Uh-oh. She's- I'm assuming you wouldn't
have lured him down with a fire.

297
00:14:55,737 --> 00:14:57,656
Is that what your face
is doing right now?

298
00:14:57,739 --> 00:15:01,285
Yeah. Um, and I wouldn't
have an intervention at a bar either.

299
00:15:01,368 --> 00:15:03,704
Well, lady, look,

300
00:15:03,787 --> 00:15:06,915
all mistakes we've made on our own,
so it's good that you're here.

301
00:15:06,999 --> 00:15:08,375
We're doing our best.
We're doing our best.

302
00:15:08,459 --> 00:15:09,835
Where's the goddamn fire?

303
00:15:09,918 --> 00:15:13,338
Intervention! Intervention!
Ah, intervention!

304
00:15:13,464 --> 00:15:16,592
Intervention! I got it! I got it!
You're surrounded, Frank!

305
00:15:16,675 --> 00:15:19,636
There's nowhere for you to go.
You're trapped. You're trapped.

306
00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:21,763
You're trapped!
You're trapped!

307
00:15:21,889 --> 00:15:23,599
Got you! Got you!
You're trapped!

308
00:15:23,682 --> 00:15:26,602
- That's enough! That's enough!
- We told you there was gonna be a gun.

309
00:15:26,727 --> 00:15:28,896
What the hell's going on?
Got you, man!

310
00:15:29,021 --> 00:15:31,732
Sit down! You sit down so we can tell
you what an asshole you've been.

311
00:15:31,815 --> 00:15:33,942
We're gonna get all in your
face and point out your faults.

312
00:15:34,026 --> 00:15:37,279
A roast? I've always
wanted to be roasted.

313
00:15:37,362 --> 00:15:40,365
Oh, wait. Let me just
switch gears here...

314
00:15:40,449 --> 00:15:42,367
fire up this spliff.

315
00:15:42,451 --> 00:15:44,453
No, no, no, no.
Wait. Frank, hold on.

316
00:15:44,536 --> 00:15:49,041
Um, everyone's here today because they care
about you and they want you to get well.

317
00:15:49,124 --> 00:15:52,002
She ain't funny. Next.

318
00:15:52,127 --> 00:15:54,004
Frank, you're an asshole.
Ah! That's it.

319
00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:56,548
- Now rain down on me. Come on.
- You're a prick!

320
00:15:56,632 --> 00:15:59,009
And your addiction has affected
us in the following ways.

321
00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:01,011
You are annoying!

322
00:16:01,094 --> 00:16:04,056
Dennis, come on!
Give it to me with both barrels!

323
00:16:04,181 --> 00:16:09,478
Why do we never play Night Crawlers any more, huh?
I don't know, Charlie.

324
00:16:09,603 --> 00:16:13,190
What is Night Crawlers? It's a game where
they crawl around in the night like worms.

325
00:16:13,315 --> 00:16:16,026
I never said that.
Yeah, well, that's what it is.

326
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:18,737
Intervention! Intervention!
Is nothing private, Frank?

327
00:16:18,820 --> 00:16:22,699
Jesus! Look, I like that game.
I don't wanna stop playing it.

328
00:16:22,783 --> 00:16:24,826
Well, Charlie,
we can play that game.

329
00:16:24,952 --> 00:16:25,994
You promise?
Yeah.

330
00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:27,788
Whoo! Ahh! Yeah.

331
00:16:27,871 --> 00:16:29,790
Stop touching me.
[ Speaks, indistinct]

332
00:16:29,873 --> 00:16:32,125
- Just stop.
- Whoa! What's this?

333
00:16:32,209 --> 00:16:33,877
Me and Mac are together.

334
00:16:33,961 --> 00:16:35,128
No! No! No!

335
00:16:35,254 --> 00:16:37,548
Intervention! Intervention!
Intervention!

336
00:16:37,631 --> 00:16:39,550
What are you
interventioning me for?

337
00:16:39,633 --> 00:16:41,260
Because you can't
be banging Gail the Snail.

338
00:16:41,343 --> 00:16:43,845
I'm not banging Gail the Snail.
She followed me home.

339
00:16:43,971 --> 00:16:46,348
Oh!
She was doing that the whole time.

340
00:16:46,473 --> 00:16:49,893
Yeah, she does that.
Swallow it or spit it out.

341
00:16:49,977 --> 00:16:51,311
No, don't!
Oh, my God.

342
00:16:51,436 --> 00:16:52,729
See?
Intervention!

343
00:16:52,813 --> 00:16:54,690
Hey, babe, I'll get you
a drink from the bar.

344
00:16:54,815 --> 00:16:56,275
Great. My God.
What are you doing, Mac?

345
00:16:56,358 --> 00:16:59,027
I was just going over to her
house to try and bang Donna...

346
00:16:59,111 --> 00:17:01,196
because she reminds me
so much of your mom,

347
00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:02,573
which is
the best sex I ever had.

348
00:17:02,656 --> 00:17:04,866
- Intervention! Intervention.

349
00:17:04,992 --> 00:17:07,786
Huh?
You banged my dead wife?

350
00:17:07,869 --> 00:17:10,706
Well, she was alive
at the time.

351
00:17:10,789 --> 00:17:14,001
- But- Did you not know that?
- No.

352
00:17:14,084 --> 00:17:17,379
It's cool, man. It's cool.
Intervention. Intervention. Okay?

353
00:17:17,462 --> 00:17:21,425
Look, he's got a weird fetish for older
women, so don't hold it against him.

354
00:17:21,508 --> 00:17:23,802
I don't have
an older-woman fetish.

355
00:17:23,927 --> 00:17:25,345
Yeah, you do.
I don't wanna bang this chick.

356
00:17:25,429 --> 00:17:27,180
Let's cool it with the
intervention stuff for a second...

357
00:17:27,264 --> 00:17:29,266
'cause there's a lot of 'em
being thrown around right now,

358
00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:30,934
and I'm having a little bit
of trouble keeping track.

359
00:17:31,018 --> 00:17:33,312
The most important intervention is the
one we need to do on Gail the Snail...

360
00:17:33,395 --> 00:17:34,605
and getting her
out of our lives.

361
00:17:34,688 --> 00:17:37,357
Guys, let's do shots
and get crazy.

362
00:17:37,482 --> 00:17:40,152
No, Gail. No. We're intervening on you, Snail.
Go. Get out of here.

363
00:17:40,277 --> 00:17:42,321
Yeah, right.
How is she not getting this?

364
00:17:42,446 --> 00:17:45,574
She's stonewalling us.
It is a classic Snail technique. Classic.

365
00:17:45,699 --> 00:17:48,035
Ya! Get out of here, Snail!
He's got the salt!

366
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:50,120
Ya, ya, ya!
Sal! the Snail!

367
00:17:50,203 --> 00:17:52,956
Go, Snail!
Ya, ya, ya!

368
00:17:53,081 --> 00:17:55,334
Ya! Ya!

369
00:17:55,417 --> 00:17:58,128
I was gonna invite you guys
all to a rave to hang out,

370
00:17:58,211 --> 00:18:00,088
but now I don't wanna
hang out with you any more.

371
00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:02,174
Oh, my God. Salt the Snail.
Just salt her.

372
00:18:02,257 --> 00:18:03,717
Wait, wait!
Do you guys wanna go?

373
00:18:03,842 --> 00:18:05,719
No, no! We don't wanna go!
Wail'!

374
00:18:05,802 --> 00:18:07,429
I have glow sticks.

375
00:18:07,512 --> 00:18:09,556
Salt the Snail!

376
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:10,974
The whole thing!

377
00:18:11,058 --> 00:18:14,561
- Ya, ya, ya!
- What is with that broad?

378
00:18:14,645 --> 00:18:17,606
She is the worst, right?
That's what we've been saying.

379
00:18:17,689 --> 00:18:20,192
Oh, my God. That was a terrible
experience for me by the way.

380
00:18:20,275 --> 00:18:23,153
Of course it was. Nobody likes salting
the Snail, but she gives you no choice.

381
00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:26,156
- She doesn't leave you with any options.
- What a horrible thing.

382
00:18:26,239 --> 00:18:28,241
I'm all worked up now.
I feel bad.

383
00:18:28,325 --> 00:18:31,203
I feel like maybe I should have
some more wine in a can.

384
00:18:31,328 --> 00:18:33,789
I'll get you one. I can use some
canned wine to calm down a little bit.

385
00:18:33,872 --> 00:18:35,999
Oh, you guys are drinking
wine out of those cans?

386
00:18:36,083 --> 00:18:37,959
Hell, yeah, baby.
Hell, yeah.

387
00:18:38,085 --> 00:18:41,463
Can I have one? Yes, and you will notice
the advantages almost immediately.

388
00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:43,382
Here. Try this.
I feel like drinking wine out of a can...

389
00:18:43,465 --> 00:18:46,259
is conducive to my violent
hand gestures when I speak.

390
00:18:46,385 --> 00:18:48,261
You tend to be very emphatic and
strong and- There's no spillage.

391
00:18:48,387 --> 00:18:50,389
Say I wanna give one to Frank.
You didn't get any on me.

392
00:18:50,514 --> 00:18:53,433
I spilled a little.
You wanna point accusatorily, but...

393
00:18:53,517 --> 00:18:54,935
But it really boosts
your mobility.

394
00:18:55,018 --> 00:18:58,438
Excuse me.
Excuse-Excuse me.

395
00:18:58,522 --> 00:19:02,859
People, I-I'm sorry, but how do
you guys wanna proceed from here?

396
00:19:02,943 --> 00:19:04,528
Because I'm a little confused.

397
00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:06,363
Ohh!

398
00:19:06,446 --> 00:19:08,365
Did you wanna-
Right. Okay.

399
00:19:08,448 --> 00:19:12,369
Um- Well, I guess we kind of got what
we needed out of the intervention.

400
00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:14,079
Yeah.
Right? So good job.

401
00:19:14,162 --> 00:19:16,164
Was it? Did she?
We did all the work, didn't we?

402
00:19:16,248 --> 00:19:18,875
So we can't really
pay you 'cause of that.

403
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,712
I know we said we would,
but we won't. Yeah.

404
00:19:21,837 --> 00:19:24,923
Um, how about a can of wine?
Oh.

405
00:19:27,217 --> 00:19:30,303
No.

406
00:19:30,429 --> 00:19:33,098
Oh.
All right. Well...

407
00:19:33,223 --> 00:19:34,599
Okay, well, on your way. Adios.

408
00:19:34,683 --> 00:19:35,809
On your way then.
Take your jacket.

409
00:19:35,892 --> 00:19:37,144
Get out of here.

410
00:19:37,227 --> 00:19:38,729
Take that shoulder-padded
jacket and get the hell out.

411
00:19:38,812 --> 00:19:40,188
Thanks for stopping by.

412
00:19:40,272 --> 00:19:41,857
Don't expect
a check in the mail.

413
00:19:41,982 --> 00:19:43,150
Hey!
Up top!

414
00:19:43,275 --> 00:19:44,651
Up top, everybody!
Great intervention!

415
00:19:44,776 --> 00:19:46,611
Great intervention!
Great intervention work!

416
00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:31,531
ENGLISH - US - PSDH