1 00:00:03,416 --> 00:00:05,627 I don't know. What do you think? 2 00:00:05,710 --> 00:00:09,130 It's kind of doing nothing for my hip area and making a mess of my boobs. 3 00:00:09,213 --> 00:00:11,758 You know what? Why don't you go grab five more? 4 00:00:11,841 --> 00:00:14,552 Look, we don't normally do this. 5 00:00:14,636 --> 00:00:17,972 But I think I'm gonna need some proof that you're actually getting married. 6 00:00:18,056 --> 00:00:19,974 What? Why? 7 00:00:20,058 --> 00:00:23,561 Because you've been coming in here and trying on wedding dresses every Saturday... 8 00:00:23,645 --> 00:00:25,563 for over a year now. 9 00:00:25,647 --> 00:00:28,983 Yeah. That's 'cause it takes a really long time to plan a wedding. 10 00:00:29,067 --> 00:00:32,695 Don't get up all over my balls, Lucy. Just go get the dresses. 11 00:00:32,779 --> 00:00:34,739 When is the wedding? Soon. 12 00:00:34,822 --> 00:00:36,324 Where? A church. 13 00:00:36,449 --> 00:00:37,950 Which one? The nearby one. 14 00:00:38,076 --> 00:00:39,535 The nearby one? Right down the street. 15 00:00:39,619 --> 00:00:41,120 Spring Which street? 16 00:00:41,245 --> 00:00:42,747 What's your fiance's name? Sam. 17 00:00:42,830 --> 00:00:44,707 What does he do? S-S-Salt. 18 00:00:44,832 --> 00:00:48,336 Salt? Sea... salt. Sea salt. 19 00:00:48,419 --> 00:00:50,505 He's a salt seaman. 20 00:00:50,588 --> 00:00:54,884 He- He dives in to the ocean for the sea salt. 21 00:00:54,967 --> 00:00:58,096 And then he brings it back up. And then we eat it. 22 00:00:58,221 --> 00:01:01,474 So- Okay, I'm getting the manager. 23 00:01:01,557 --> 00:01:05,687 Well, don't get the- Damn it. 24 00:01:06,854 --> 00:01:09,607 - Dee Reynolds? - Yeah. 25 00:01:09,691 --> 00:01:11,901 Brad Fisher. From high school. 26 00:01:11,984 --> 00:01:14,445 Brad Fisher. No way. 27 00:01:14,570 --> 00:01:16,864 Yeah. You look amazing. 28 00:01:16,948 --> 00:01:18,991 Your acne cleared up really well. 29 00:01:19,117 --> 00:01:22,745 I kinda grew into myself. Yes, you did. Yes, you did. 30 00:01:22,870 --> 00:01:25,289 Why did I ever break up with you, you beefcake? It was because of the acne. 31 00:01:25,415 --> 00:01:28,334 Was it because of the acne? Yeah. Yeah. Uh, when it got real bad, 32 00:01:28,418 --> 00:01:32,296 you dumped me and you said it was 'cause I was gonna grow up to look like Edward James Olmos. 33 00:01:32,380 --> 00:01:35,007 Well, I don't really remember saying exactly that. 34 00:01:35,091 --> 00:01:36,718 It's- it's fine. We were kids. We were kids. 35 00:01:36,843 --> 00:01:38,845 We were kids! Yeah. 36 00:01:38,970 --> 00:01:40,304 We're not kids any more. No. 37 00:01:40,430 --> 00:01:43,725 Great. Wow. So you're- you're getting married. Wow. 38 00:01:43,808 --> 00:01:46,519 Yeah. Uh, no, I'm not. I'm not. 39 00:01:46,602 --> 00:01:49,522 This is because I was. But that-that didn't work out. 40 00:01:49,605 --> 00:01:51,482 Why are you asking? Are you single? 41 00:01:51,607 --> 00:01:53,943 What's your situation? Um, I'm engaged. 42 00:01:58,823 --> 00:02:01,534 But we're having a whole nontraditional kinda small thing. 43 00:02:01,659 --> 00:02:03,536 So you should meet her. Babe. Well, nah... 44 00:02:03,661 --> 00:02:05,747 - Yeah? - Come here for a second. I want you to meet a friend of mine. 45 00:02:05,872 --> 00:02:09,667 What do you think of this one, Brad? It's beautiful, yeah. 46 00:02:09,751 --> 00:02:12,211 Oh, my God. 47 00:02:47,079 --> 00:02:50,833 Okay. All right. 48 00:02:50,917 --> 00:02:53,211 Well, don't poke at it. Don't just poke... 49 00:02:53,336 --> 00:02:55,713 Just get it safely into the box. Dude, you're gonna agitate the bees. 50 00:02:55,797 --> 00:02:59,383 Well, I'm fine with the bees. It's the honey I don't want to agitate. 51 00:02:59,467 --> 00:03:01,469 Is that your endgame here? Honey? 52 00:03:01,552 --> 00:03:04,388 Yeah. I figure if we keep the hive in the basement, we'll always have honey. 53 00:03:04,514 --> 00:03:06,390 We'll always have bees is what we'll always have. 54 00:03:06,516 --> 00:03:08,351 Whoa! What? What? 55 00:03:08,476 --> 00:03:10,394 I think I just saw a wasp. I think that was a wasp. 56 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:12,021 You see that? Looked like a wasp. Didn't look like a bee. 57 00:03:12,146 --> 00:03:13,439 Is this a wasp nest? This is a wasp nest. 58 00:03:13,564 --> 00:03:15,107 I'm out! I'm out! All right. Yeah, yeah. 59 00:03:15,233 --> 00:03:18,444 I don't want to tangle with a bunch of wasps. Hey! Do-Do wasps make honey? 60 00:03:18,569 --> 00:03:21,697 No. Wasps do not make honey. 61 00:03:21,781 --> 00:03:23,491 All right. Well, I'm gonna check it out anyway. 62 00:03:23,574 --> 00:03:26,744 There could be something delicious in here that wasps do make, and I want that. 63 00:03:26,828 --> 00:03:30,248 Mac, Dennis, can I talk to you in the office, please? 64 00:03:30,373 --> 00:03:32,458 Why can't we just talk right here? Yeah? 65 00:03:32,583 --> 00:03:35,461 Because it's private. Ah, that sounds like a whole thing. I'm not into it. 66 00:03:35,545 --> 00:03:39,298 - Mmm. - Shit! 67 00:03:39,382 --> 00:03:41,926 I just got stung! That was a hornet! This is a hornets nest! 68 00:03:42,009 --> 00:03:44,470 Uh, you know what, guys? Why don't we step in the back office... 69 00:03:44,554 --> 00:03:47,056 while Charlie deals with this whole hornet/wasp situation? 70 00:03:47,139 --> 00:03:48,391 Yeah. 71 00:03:48,474 --> 00:03:51,477 Oh. Oh, I'm a bad boy? I'm a bad boy? 72 00:03:51,561 --> 00:03:56,023 Put some vegetable oil on it. That'll make you feel better. Okay. Bye, sexy. 73 00:03:56,107 --> 00:03:59,735 Ohh. Who was that? 74 00:03:59,819 --> 00:04:03,197 That's my booty call. We're into some really weird food fetish stuff. 75 00:04:03,322 --> 00:04:06,200 Gross. Okay, you guys, listen up. We got a serious problem. 76 00:04:06,284 --> 00:04:08,536 The waitress is getting married. 77 00:04:08,619 --> 00:04:11,455 Oh, yeah. I heard about that. Artemis told me. 78 00:04:11,539 --> 00:04:14,625 - Since when do you talk to Artemis? - She's my booty call. 79 00:04:14,709 --> 00:04:16,627 Weird. We'll get into that later. 80 00:04:16,711 --> 00:04:18,629 Right now, we gotta deal with this waitress situation. 81 00:04:18,713 --> 00:04:20,673 Dee, why do you give a shit that the waitress is getting married? 82 00:04:20,798 --> 00:04:22,800 She's been nothing but trouble for us. That's a good point. 83 00:04:22,884 --> 00:04:24,510 She doesn't seem to get our sense of humor. 84 00:04:24,635 --> 00:04:26,637 We do stuff that I think's funny. She doesn't. Hilarious! 85 00:04:26,721 --> 00:04:29,015 Guys! I cannot believe you're not thinking about Charlie right now. 86 00:04:29,140 --> 00:04:31,726 This is gonna crush him. What? You don't give a shit about Charlie. 87 00:04:31,809 --> 00:04:34,812 All you care about is the fact the waitress is getting married before you. Right? 88 00:04:34,896 --> 00:04:37,690 That or she's afraid that Charlie might blow his brains out. 89 00:04:37,815 --> 00:04:40,151 And then she'd have to do all the Charlie work. Uh, that's what it is. Yeah. 90 00:04:40,234 --> 00:04:44,071 Okay, fine. A: I do not want to do Charlie's work once he kills himself. 91 00:04:44,155 --> 00:04:47,700 B: How could the waitress get married before me? I'm way hotter than she is. 92 00:04:47,783 --> 00:04:52,163 And C: Get this. The guy she's marrying used to be my boyfriend. 93 00:04:52,246 --> 00:04:54,373 You know what I just realized? I don't care about anything she's saying. 94 00:04:54,498 --> 00:04:56,375 Not a bit. What I do care about is the fact that... 95 00:04:56,459 --> 00:04:59,420 Charlie might go postal if he finds out about this and kill all of us. 96 00:04:59,503 --> 00:05:02,256 Right. Shit. We're probably the ones at real risk here, huh? 97 00:05:02,381 --> 00:05:05,885 Yeah. Okay. Well, maybe we should find something to distract him... 98 00:05:06,010 --> 00:05:08,054 until the whole wedding thing blows over. Mm-hmm. 99 00:05:08,137 --> 00:05:10,097 - Get him his own booty call. - Ohh! 100 00:05:10,222 --> 00:05:11,849 Or at least another chick to stalk. Hey! 101 00:05:11,933 --> 00:05:13,851 Great. In the meantime, I'll try and sabotage the wedding... 102 00:05:13,935 --> 00:05:15,853 by luring Brad away from her. Ahh. 103 00:05:15,978 --> 00:05:18,314 Dee, save yourself the embarrassment. Yeah, yeah. 104 00:05:18,439 --> 00:05:20,358 Let's- Watch out for the hornets. 105 00:05:20,483 --> 00:05:23,694 Yeah. Don't push me. 106 00:05:27,406 --> 00:05:29,158 Hey-oh! 107 00:05:29,283 --> 00:05:31,452 Hey, what's- Ahh! 108 00:05:31,535 --> 00:05:32,995 What are you doing there, buddy? 109 00:05:33,079 --> 00:05:35,957 I'm trying to smoke these hornets to death so I can get their honey. 110 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:39,543 They keep flying up the tube, stinging me on my face. I think I just swallowed one. 111 00:05:39,627 --> 00:05:43,381 As I tried to explain before, you cannot get honey from a hornets nest. 112 00:05:43,464 --> 00:05:45,841 I just don't think there's any science to support that, buddy. 113 00:05:45,967 --> 00:05:48,302 There's some very basic science out there supporting that. No. 114 00:05:48,427 --> 00:05:49,762 No. Trust me, pal. 115 00:05:49,887 --> 00:05:51,681 It's a fact. It's not even science. Why are you bothering... 116 00:05:51,806 --> 00:05:53,808 getting into it with him? I don't know. I just feel like... 117 00:05:53,891 --> 00:05:55,601 Charlie, we're gonna get you back on the dating scene, bro. 118 00:05:55,726 --> 00:05:57,520 What do you think about that? Yeah. That's actually why we're here. 119 00:05:57,603 --> 00:05:59,105 We're gonna put your profile on Match.com. 120 00:05:59,188 --> 00:06:01,691 I don't see why. I got the waitress, guys. 121 00:06:01,816 --> 00:06:02,775 Yeah. Yeah, right. 122 00:06:02,900 --> 00:06:04,068 Sure, right. Uh, yeah, totally. 123 00:06:04,193 --> 00:06:05,778 We thought maybe you could meet somebody new. Yeah. 124 00:06:05,861 --> 00:06:07,154 Someone you like even more than the waitress. 125 00:06:07,238 --> 00:06:08,489 I don't see how that's possible. 126 00:06:08,572 --> 00:06:10,741 But I tell you what, let me pop a quick “H” on this box. 127 00:06:10,825 --> 00:06:13,661 This way we all know it's filled with the hornets. 128 00:06:13,786 --> 00:06:16,122 Okay? Okay, yeah. Do what you gotta do. 129 00:06:16,205 --> 00:06:18,374 These things sting like a bitch, man. 130 00:06:18,457 --> 00:06:20,418 First thing we gotta do is take your picture for the profile. So... 131 00:06:20,501 --> 00:06:22,128 Ahh. So, do you have the makeup? 132 00:06:22,211 --> 00:06:24,171 - Yeah. - Oh, no makeup! Come on. 133 00:06:24,255 --> 00:06:26,674 Well, those hornet stings are pretty bad, buddy. So I think we're gonna have to... 134 00:06:26,757 --> 00:06:28,968 Yeah. But I am who I am. 135 00:06:29,093 --> 00:06:30,094 Right. But- Yeah, but... 136 00:06:30,177 --> 00:06:31,679 Let's do who you are minus the hornet stings. 137 00:06:31,762 --> 00:06:33,848 Let's pretend you're not who you are and just try to attract a woman. 138 00:06:33,931 --> 00:06:37,143 I tell you what. What if I wore a checkered hat and I smoked a pipe? That'd work. 139 00:06:37,226 --> 00:06:40,646 Why would you want a checkered hat and a pipe? 140 00:06:40,730 --> 00:06:42,898 You know, for the Sherlock Holmes look. 141 00:06:42,982 --> 00:06:44,942 Why would you want to look like Sherlock Holmes? 142 00:06:45,026 --> 00:06:47,403 - Who are you trying to attract exactly? - Intelligent women. 143 00:06:47,486 --> 00:06:49,613 Okay. I'm just gonna take the photo right now without the makeup... 144 00:06:49,697 --> 00:06:52,366 - and see if he likes it. Ready? - Yeah. 145 00:06:52,450 --> 00:06:56,037 - Ooh, that felt good. Was that sexy? - That? very... 146 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:57,538 That felt sexy. We'll Photoshop it. 147 00:06:57,621 --> 00:06:58,831 Yeah, I can see where this is going. 148 00:06:58,956 --> 00:07:00,374 Let's just not do that. We'll just Photoshop it. 149 00:07:00,499 --> 00:07:02,001 Let's- Let's- You want to take another one? 150 00:07:02,126 --> 00:07:05,046 No. No. We'll find another picture that we can use and that'll be fine. 151 00:07:05,171 --> 00:07:07,798 Yeah. Let's talk about your likes and dislikes. 152 00:07:07,882 --> 00:07:10,593 - How about your favorite food. What would that be? - Oh, milk steak. 153 00:07:10,718 --> 00:07:12,928 Hmm? Hmm? What? 154 00:07:13,012 --> 00:07:15,347 - Milk steak. - I'm not putting milk steak. 155 00:07:15,473 --> 00:07:17,808 Just put steak. Just put regular steak. And then- I'm gonna put steak. 156 00:07:17,892 --> 00:07:19,310 Put milk steak. She'll know what it is. 157 00:07:19,435 --> 00:07:21,520 She won't know. Nobody knows what that is. She'll know what it is. 158 00:07:21,604 --> 00:07:24,148 No- Okay, all right. What's your favorite hobby? 159 00:07:24,231 --> 00:07:26,025 Uh, magnets. 160 00:07:26,108 --> 00:07:29,195 Magnets? Okay, what, like making magnets, collecting magnets? 161 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:30,738 Playing with magnets? Just magnets. 162 00:07:30,863 --> 00:07:33,449 I'm gonna put snowboarding. We'll put snowboarding. I don't really snowboard. 163 00:07:33,532 --> 00:07:36,452 - All right, what are some of your likes? - Uh, ghouls. 164 00:07:36,535 --> 00:07:38,204 Son of a bitch. What are you talking about now? 165 00:07:38,329 --> 00:07:40,998 You know, funny little green ghouls, go- What? 166 00:07:41,082 --> 00:07:44,627 - What, like in movies and cartoons? What are you- - Little green ghouls, buddy. 167 00:07:44,752 --> 00:07:46,754 Don't write ghouls! I'm not. I'm putting travel. 168 00:07:46,837 --> 00:07:49,298 - Jesus Christ! What are your dislikes? - People's knees. 169 00:07:49,423 --> 00:07:51,175 Come on! Come on! You gotta be kidding. You know what? 170 00:07:51,300 --> 00:07:53,552 We'll make it up. We'll make the whole thing up. Let's get out of here! 171 00:07:53,677 --> 00:07:55,387 We'll doctor the picture. We're not even gonna use you. 172 00:07:55,471 --> 00:07:58,307 Cover your knees up if you're gonna be walking around everywhere. 173 00:08:01,977 --> 00:08:03,604 Where are you? 174 00:08:03,687 --> 00:08:07,024 Come on. 175 00:08:09,235 --> 00:08:11,737 Bingo, bitch. 176 00:08:15,074 --> 00:08:17,201 - Hey! — Hey. 177 00:08:17,326 --> 00:08:18,994 You guys, how are you? 178 00:08:19,078 --> 00:08:21,831 All right, calm down! I'll be two seconds! 179 00:08:21,956 --> 00:08:24,500 Anyway, hi! How are you? What are you doing? 180 00:08:24,583 --> 00:08:27,169 Okay, so listen up. I was thinking since, Brad, you were saying... 181 00:08:27,294 --> 00:08:31,257 how your wedding was gonna be all poor or boring or dull or whatever it was you were... 182 00:08:31,382 --> 00:08:33,676 You said our wedding was gonna be dull? I said it was gonna be small. 183 00:08:33,759 --> 00:08:35,386 Small! Yup, that's exactly what it was. 184 00:08:35,469 --> 00:08:38,931 I was thinking I could help you guys out by throwing you a bachelorette party! 185 00:08:39,014 --> 00:08:44,145 Brad, you can totally come since you guys decided to do that nontraditional mumbo jumbo. 186 00:08:44,270 --> 00:08:45,980 I think we're good. You know what, though. 187 00:08:46,063 --> 00:08:48,524 I kinda would like to meet some of your friends. 188 00:08:48,607 --> 00:08:50,484 Hold on here. Hold on. What am I hearing? 189 00:08:50,568 --> 00:08:52,903 You haven't met some of her great friends? 190 00:08:52,987 --> 00:08:54,697 It's just because this happened really quickly. 191 00:08:54,780 --> 00:08:58,576 Is it a yes or a no? 'Cause you're kinda holding up traffic here. It's- It's rude. 192 00:08:58,701 --> 00:09:00,452 Come on, lady! Well... 193 00:09:00,578 --> 00:09:02,621 Look, I think it sounds great. It sounds like fun. Okay, perfect! 194 00:09:02,705 --> 00:09:05,708 Wonderful! We've got a deal. See you guys tomorrow night, my place, at 8:00. 195 00:09:05,791 --> 00:09:08,252 Bye, Brad. Good to see you. 196 00:09:08,335 --> 00:09:12,423 Okay! Calm down, dick wads! It wasn't that bad! 197 00:09:28,105 --> 00:09:30,482 Deandra, you got any bacon bits? 198 00:09:30,608 --> 00:09:34,653 We like to put 'em in Artemis's hair and they rain down on me when we bang. 199 00:09:34,737 --> 00:09:37,781 I feel like a Cobb salad. It's amazing. 200 00:09:37,865 --> 00:09:40,910 Okay. I have no idea why anyone would want to feel like a Cobb salad. 201 00:09:40,993 --> 00:09:43,495 But whatever, that's good. Bring that up when Brad's here. 202 00:09:43,579 --> 00:09:45,956 All right, Mrs. Mac, make sure that you talk... 203 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:48,918 about how the waitress looks exactly like you when you were young, right? 204 00:09:49,001 --> 00:09:51,545 You remember that? There's a whole carton of cigarettes in it for you. 205 00:09:51,670 --> 00:09:54,465 Uh, Mrs. Kelly, remember, 206 00:09:54,548 --> 00:09:58,010 this man that I'm bringing over, he wants to steal the love of your son's life away. 207 00:09:58,093 --> 00:10:00,221 Nobody hurts my Charlie! 208 00:10:00,304 --> 00:10:02,306 Yup, that's good. That's good. Keep that up. And keep the drinking coming. 209 00:10:02,389 --> 00:10:06,644 - 'Cause it makes you get all weird. All right, this is- 210 00:10:06,727 --> 00:10:09,980 Oh, okay. They're here. Ls everyone ready? You guys got it? Okay. 211 00:10:10,064 --> 00:10:13,734 There they are! 212 00:10:13,817 --> 00:10:16,904 Sorry we're late. Somebody took a little convincing. 213 00:10:16,987 --> 00:10:20,115 Yup. I really didn't want to come, but Brad insisted. 214 00:10:20,199 --> 00:10:25,246 Oh, you big, old, fat stick in the mud! Come on in, you guys. 215 00:10:25,329 --> 00:10:27,581 - They're here, everybody! 216 00:10:27,665 --> 00:10:30,501 - What's up? - Here you go. Would you like some punch? 217 00:10:30,626 --> 00:10:32,711 Is there alcohol in this? No, no, no, no. 218 00:10:32,836 --> 00:10:36,173 No, absolutely not. I remember what an embarrassing problem you have with alcohol. 219 00:10:36,257 --> 00:10:40,219 Brad, did you know about her unfortunate problems with drugs and alcohol? 220 00:10:40,344 --> 00:10:41,929 Isn't that sad? It's just alcohol. 221 00:10:42,054 --> 00:10:43,222 Is it? And he's aware. 222 00:10:43,305 --> 00:10:44,348 Oh. Really? 223 00:10:44,431 --> 00:10:46,058 I thought there was, like, cocaine and heroin. 224 00:10:46,141 --> 00:10:48,018 And remember when you were shooting up with the homeless people... 225 00:10:48,143 --> 00:10:49,770 and banging for money on the street? No. no. 226 00:10:49,853 --> 00:10:51,438 Wow. You're making all of that up. 227 00:10:51,522 --> 00:10:53,274 Really? Oh, no, no, no, no. You know what? 228 00:10:53,357 --> 00:10:56,694 You're absolutely right. I'm confusing you with another pathetic drunk that I know. 229 00:10:56,819 --> 00:11:00,030 So you can still have fun, can't you, Brad? I can. I... 230 00:11:00,114 --> 00:11:02,199 Let's get a beer. Okay. 231 00:11:02,283 --> 00:11:04,410 Whoo-hoo. You look really nice tonight. 232 00:11:04,493 --> 00:11:06,453 You like that? You like that? 233 00:11:06,537 --> 00:11:10,916 The color of this shirt I don't know what it's doing to your eyes, but I like it. 234 00:11:14,837 --> 00:11:18,424 - All right, listen. You gotta be on your toes tonight, okay? 235 00:11:18,507 --> 00:11:20,009 This chick's a lawyer. She's gonna be pretty sharp. 236 00:11:20,134 --> 00:11:22,011 Stick to the game plan, okay? She's a lawyer. I like that. 237 00:11:22,094 --> 00:11:24,513 He's sweating through his shirt, dude. I know. 238 00:11:24,596 --> 00:11:27,474 Listen, you remember your backstory? 239 00:11:27,599 --> 00:11:29,768 No? Oh, for God's sakes! What is that? 240 00:11:29,893 --> 00:11:31,812 I don't remember the backstory. All right, listen, man. You're a philanthropist. 241 00:11:31,895 --> 00:11:33,689 That's what you are, okay? You used to own a small business. 242 00:11:33,814 --> 00:11:36,317 But you gave all that up to help others. All right, who do I help? 243 00:11:36,442 --> 00:11:38,110 Who am I helping? Oh, God. 244 00:11:38,235 --> 00:11:41,739 It doesn't matter. I don't know, old people, uh, children, autistics, dyslexic folks. 245 00:11:41,864 --> 00:11:44,575 It really doesn't matter, Charlie. I'm a full on re... 246 00:11:44,658 --> 00:11:46,243 Ph-Philio- Philian- Philanthropist. 247 00:11:46,327 --> 00:11:48,287 Dude, I can't get it. How do you say it? What is it? 248 00:11:48,412 --> 00:11:51,040 Philanthropist! Meet us in the bathroom. 249 00:11:51,165 --> 00:11:53,000 Oh, my God, dude! What is that? What was that? 250 00:11:53,083 --> 00:11:54,918 Is that cheese? Have you eaten cheese? 251 00:11:55,002 --> 00:11:57,880 How much cheese have you eaten today? 252 00:11:57,963 --> 00:12:00,049 How much cheese is too much cheese? 253 00:12:00,132 --> 00:12:02,718 Any amount of cheese before a date is too much cheese! 254 00:12:02,801 --> 00:12:04,261 I had a lot of cheese. I had a block of cheese. 255 00:12:04,386 --> 00:12:05,679 Okay, okay- You ate a block of cheese today? 256 00:12:05,763 --> 00:12:07,598 I was very nervous. I started eating cheese, man. 257 00:12:07,723 --> 00:12:09,016 All right. All right, all right. Does that calm you down? 258 00:12:09,099 --> 00:12:10,517 Just don't breathe in her direction, okay? Whatever you do. 259 00:12:10,642 --> 00:12:11,894 How do I look? Relax. 260 00:12:12,019 --> 00:12:13,854 Stick to the game plan. Do I look handsome? 261 00:12:13,937 --> 00:12:16,273 You look great. 262 00:12:17,524 --> 00:12:20,194 Okay. So I thought we would play a game. 263 00:12:20,319 --> 00:12:24,948 Sort of a newlywed-type of game. And see how well you two know each other, okay? 264 00:12:25,032 --> 00:12:26,617 Okay, question number one. 265 00:12:26,700 --> 00:12:32,289 Who broke Brad's heart in high school and feels really bad about it? 266 00:12:32,373 --> 00:12:37,711 Me. I broke Brad's heart in high school and I feel really bad about it. Okay? 267 00:12:37,795 --> 00:12:40,047 Wait. You went to high school with us? 268 00:12:40,130 --> 00:12:42,132 Yeah. I sat right next to you in trig. 269 00:12:42,216 --> 00:12:45,969 Huh! Wow. You are very forgettable. 270 00:12:46,053 --> 00:12:50,432 Anyway, I will have you all know that I also broke Brad's heart in high school. So... 271 00:12:50,557 --> 00:12:52,059 You dated Dee? Mmm. 272 00:12:52,142 --> 00:12:53,268 Briefly. Yeah. 273 00:12:53,352 --> 00:12:57,189 - We dated hard, yep. - Both you girls dumped him because of his pizza face. 274 00:12:57,272 --> 00:13:00,025 Ooh! Okay. Question number two. 275 00:13:00,109 --> 00:13:05,030 How many people in the room have had sex with the bride-to-be? 276 00:13:05,114 --> 00:13:07,574 Uh, just me I hope. 277 00:13:07,658 --> 00:13:10,661 - Ooh. - Whoops. Uh-uh. Over here, guy. 278 00:13:10,786 --> 00:13:12,830 Ew! Okay, you know what? 279 00:13:12,913 --> 00:13:16,542 That was a- That was a really dark time in my life, and it was a terrible mistake. 280 00:13:16,625 --> 00:13:19,545 No, it's true. To be fair, it's true. She's in love with my brother. 281 00:13:19,670 --> 00:13:22,047 They have a sex tape together. This guy came along- No. 282 00:13:22,131 --> 00:13:25,676 I used to look like her. Give me my cigarettes. 283 00:13:25,759 --> 00:13:28,178 Okay, I-I didn't tell you to go. I didn't give you the high sign. 284 00:13:28,262 --> 00:13:31,348 Everybody's stealing my Charlie, girl! 285 00:13:31,432 --> 00:13:34,518 - Oh! What the hell! - Okay, Brad. I think it's time for us to go. 286 00:13:34,601 --> 00:13:36,103 We're gonna leave. All right. 287 00:13:36,186 --> 00:13:39,064 Wait, no. No, no, no, no, Brad. No, don't leave yet. I'm sorry. 288 00:13:39,148 --> 00:13:41,024 Hold on. No, no, don't leave. Oh, you bitch! 289 00:13:41,108 --> 00:13:44,194 Oh! Goddamn it! I should be the one getting married! 290 00:13:44,319 --> 00:13:48,407 This is depressing. Want to go get sweaty in the bathroom? Sure do. 291 00:13:48,490 --> 00:13:51,160 No! No one's getting sweaty in my bathroom! Just get out of here! 292 00:13:51,243 --> 00:13:53,996 Okay. We'll go get sweaty in a Wendy's bathroom. 293 00:13:54,121 --> 00:13:55,831 Great! Go have sex at Wendy's! Go for a ride. 294 00:13:55,914 --> 00:13:57,374 Wonderful! Get out of here! 295 00:13:57,458 --> 00:13:59,710 - This party sucks! - You suck! 296 00:13:59,835 --> 00:14:03,005 - I need a ride. - Oh, really? Well, I ain't giving you shit, you old bitch! 297 00:14:03,088 --> 00:14:05,632 - Oh, my God, no! You can't borrow salad dressing! 298 00:14:05,716 --> 00:14:09,428 Or condiments! Or anything else you two want to jam up into each other's... 299 00:14:09,511 --> 00:14:12,055 I, uh- I forgot something. 300 00:14:12,139 --> 00:14:14,683 Oh. What? 301 00:14:14,766 --> 00:14:17,895 I forgot to tell you... 302 00:14:17,978 --> 00:14:20,230 I still love you. 303 00:14:28,739 --> 00:14:30,199 Hi. Hi. 304 00:14:30,324 --> 00:14:33,452 Are you Charlie Kelly? Yeah. Yeah, I am. Yeah. 305 00:14:33,577 --> 00:14:35,579 Sorry I'm late. Um- You're Jackie. 306 00:14:35,662 --> 00:14:39,166 Yes, I am. Are you all right? 307 00:14:39,249 --> 00:14:44,421 Oh, yeah, this? I was running. 308 00:14:44,546 --> 00:14:46,882 Okay, because y-you're bleeding. Oh, shit. 309 00:14:46,965 --> 00:14:48,926 Is it bleeding again? I'm sorry. 310 00:14:49,009 --> 00:14:51,178 These are hornet stings, you know? 311 00:14:51,261 --> 00:14:53,972 I run into, like-like a lot of, like, hornets in my line of work. 312 00:14:54,056 --> 00:14:56,683 And I get stung up, like, bad all over my face and stuff. 313 00:14:56,808 --> 00:14:59,728 And then, you know, it starts bleeding. Oh. 314 00:14:59,853 --> 00:15:01,855 It sounds interesting. Yeah. 315 00:15:01,939 --> 00:15:03,774 What is it that you do again? 316 00:15:03,857 --> 00:15:06,777 I'm work- I'm like a janitor at, um... 317 00:15:06,860 --> 00:15:10,197 I'm a full-on rapist, you know? 318 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:15,994 Uh, Africans, dyslexics, children, that sort of thing. 319 00:15:17,162 --> 00:15:21,208 I'm sorry. Did you say you're a full-on rapist? 320 00:15:21,291 --> 00:15:25,420 No! Did I say that? No! No, no, no, no! 321 00:15:25,504 --> 00:15:28,131 I help- I help people. You know what I mean? I'm... 322 00:15:28,215 --> 00:15:30,801 I'm a philan- a philan- a philan... 323 00:15:30,926 --> 00:15:34,012 A philanthropist? Yeah! That's exactly what it is. 324 00:15:34,096 --> 00:15:37,808 It gets blocked up in my mouth. I don't say it no good, so... 325 00:15:39,601 --> 00:15:42,646 I'm a janitor at a bar. 326 00:15:44,106 --> 00:15:47,401 Oh, God, dude! I'm sucking ass! 327 00:15:47,484 --> 00:15:49,361 Yeah, dude. You said you were a rapist! 328 00:15:49,444 --> 00:15:51,363 I went crazy in the brain for a second! 329 00:15:51,488 --> 00:15:53,824 Yeah. And my eyes were all like, uh- And I couldn't think straight. 330 00:15:53,949 --> 00:15:56,118 That shirt is ruined. I know, dude. Give me your shirt. 331 00:15:56,201 --> 00:15:57,911 What? Give you- That's a totally different shirt. 332 00:15:58,036 --> 00:16:00,998 Yeah. Can I- How the hell are you gonna explain that to her? 333 00:16:01,081 --> 00:16:03,000 I'll say I met a nice guy in the bathroom and we traded shirts! 334 00:16:03,083 --> 00:16:04,585 Are you listening to yourself? Jesus Christ! 335 00:16:04,710 --> 00:16:07,045 I'm freaking out, dude. Okay, new plan. New plan. New plan. 336 00:16:07,129 --> 00:16:09,006 Charlie, make a move. Just tell her you want to bang her. 337 00:16:09,131 --> 00:16:12,968 Ooh. No, that's- Is that how you get chicks? Well, he's got a 50-50 shot. 338 00:16:13,051 --> 00:16:14,886 - That's a good point! - It is a yes-or-no scenario. 339 00:16:15,012 --> 00:16:16,555 It is a no scenario! Why? 340 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:18,849 Don't approach her that way. That's not gonna work. Am I getting the shirt? 341 00:16:18,932 --> 00:16:20,934 You're not gonna get the shirt. This is what you're gonna do. 342 00:16:21,018 --> 00:16:23,020 Go back out there. Start asking her questions about herself. 343 00:16:23,145 --> 00:16:25,647 Talk to her about being a lawyer, okay? I can do that. 344 00:16:25,731 --> 00:16:27,482 Right? Right? That's gonna work. 345 00:16:27,566 --> 00:16:29,860 If anything goes wrong, I'll come out there, I'll say I'm the manager of Gugino's. 346 00:16:29,985 --> 00:16:31,236 Do you understand? Okay. 347 00:16:31,361 --> 00:16:33,113 All right? I got it. I know. I understand it. 348 00:16:33,238 --> 00:16:34,114 You good? We'll be good. 349 00:16:34,239 --> 00:16:36,825 All right, great. 350 00:16:39,828 --> 00:16:43,373 Just go. Just get out there. Just go. Yeah. 351 00:16:45,626 --> 00:16:48,420 Hey, I'm sorry about that. It took a little while. 352 00:16:48,545 --> 00:16:51,715 There was a guy in the bathroom. He wouldn't give me his shirt. And I was fighting him. 353 00:16:51,798 --> 00:16:54,384 I'm, like, “Give me your shirt, bro.” And he didn't want to give it to me. 354 00:16:54,468 --> 00:16:56,803 - And it was like a whole thing. - Uh, uh, uhh! 355 00:16:56,887 --> 00:17:01,099 Hi. Uh, I'm the manager. And Mr. Kelly is one of our preferred customers. 356 00:17:01,224 --> 00:17:03,769 It's so wonderful to see you here again this evening. Right. My good man. 357 00:17:03,852 --> 00:17:06,897 Now I'm gonna want the milk steak boiled over hard... 358 00:17:07,022 --> 00:17:11,443 and a side of your finest jellybeans, raw 359 00:17:11,526 --> 00:17:13,820 Mr. Kelly, you have the most wonderful sense of humor. 360 00:17:13,904 --> 00:17:16,782 Hey, I own this joint And I know this guy And he is loaded. 361 00:17:16,865 --> 00:17:20,452 Mr. Kelly, we have your milk boiling just the way you like it back there for your steak. 362 00:17:20,577 --> 00:17:23,580 You're gonna like this. How's about I clear out the coat room... 363 00:17:23,664 --> 00:17:26,667 and you guys hit it in there while the steak is getting ready? 364 00:17:26,750 --> 00:17:28,377 - What? - What in the hell are you doing? 365 00:17:28,460 --> 00:17:29,419 I got this. He's gonna be aggressive. 366 00:17:29,544 --> 00:17:31,296 I've got this. Charlie, make a move. Maul. 367 00:17:31,421 --> 00:17:32,714 No, don't- Oh, my God! 368 00:17:32,798 --> 00:17:35,008 - What are you doing? - I'm leaving! 369 00:17:35,092 --> 00:17:36,677 You're grabbing her breasts? What are you doing? 370 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:38,428 I don't know. What does “make a move” mean? 371 00:17:38,553 --> 00:17:41,306 It doesn't mean stab at her breasts with your fingers. Oh, man! 372 00:17:41,390 --> 00:17:43,558 Come on, bro. You're ordering milk steak and jellybeans? What the hell? 373 00:17:43,684 --> 00:17:45,811 Come on, you guys blew it, dude! We blew it? 374 00:17:45,936 --> 00:17:48,689 I told you to stick with the game plan! It was going great! I had it! 375 00:17:48,772 --> 00:17:49,898 You don't know shit about chicks, man! 376 00:17:49,981 --> 00:17:52,067 - We don 'I know shit about chicks? - Yeah! 377 00:17:52,150 --> 00:17:54,736 Well, guess what, bro. The waitress is getting married. So suck on that! 378 00:17:58,448 --> 00:18:00,701 I see. 379 00:18:00,784 --> 00:18:04,955 Well, I suppose I'll be taking that milk steak to go then. 380 00:18:10,460 --> 00:18:15,215 Yeah. And so the Wendy's manager is all, “You gotta clean that up!” 381 00:18:15,298 --> 00:18:17,259 And I said, “They're your hamburgers. You clean 'em up.” 382 00:18:17,342 --> 00:18:19,428 And then Artemis got all bummed out... 383 00:18:19,511 --> 00:18:21,722 because of something I did with the onions to myself. 384 00:18:21,847 --> 00:18:25,475 And now she won't talk to me. Frank, I don't give a shit about any of this. 385 00:18:25,559 --> 00:18:27,394 Hey, man, where's the baseball bat? 386 00:18:27,519 --> 00:18:29,062 Baseball bat in the corner. Oh. 387 00:18:29,146 --> 00:18:31,440 We're trying to arm ourselves 'cause Charlie's gonna be here any minute, 388 00:18:31,523 --> 00:18:33,483 and he might take us out, so... 389 00:18:33,567 --> 00:18:37,362 Oh, don't worry about Charlie. Charlie's over this. 390 00:18:37,446 --> 00:18:42,159 In fact, I saw him this morning. He said he was bringing the guy a congratulatory gift. 391 00:18:42,284 --> 00:18:44,745 Really? Yeah. 392 00:18:44,828 --> 00:18:46,037 Oh, great. 393 00:18:52,335 --> 00:18:55,172 Hey, what's- what's, uh- what's this? 394 00:18:55,255 --> 00:18:59,843 This is for your engagement, man. You're a lucky, lucky dude. 395 00:18:59,968 --> 00:19:01,803 And, uh, congratulations to you. Oh, right. 396 00:19:01,928 --> 00:19:04,765 No, no, no. That's not happening any more. We're not, uh- We're not engaged. 397 00:19:04,890 --> 00:19:07,434 You're not getting married? Nah. 398 00:19:07,559 --> 00:19:10,979 Oh! You're Charlie Kelly, right? 399 00:19:11,062 --> 00:19:13,774 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember you from high school. 400 00:19:13,857 --> 00:19:15,984 Hang on a second, dude. You're not getting married? 401 00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:18,278 Well- 402 00:19:18,361 --> 00:19:21,990 Remember how everybody used to make fun of us in high school? 403 00:19:22,073 --> 00:19:24,826 I remember how they made fun of you. 404 00:19:24,910 --> 00:19:29,080 Anyway, I have been getting my revenge. 405 00:19:29,164 --> 00:19:32,375 I've been getting engaged to all these chicks who broke up with me in high school... 406 00:19:32,459 --> 00:19:35,003 'cause of my acne, and then I dump 'em right before the wedding. 407 00:19:35,128 --> 00:19:37,589 Damn. 408 00:19:37,672 --> 00:19:39,633 Yeah. I just got through doing it to that coffee shop waitress. 409 00:19:39,716 --> 00:19:41,760 Now I'm gonna do it to this chick Dee Reynolds. Remember her? 410 00:19:41,885 --> 00:19:43,929 She was the worst. Yeah. 411 00:19:44,054 --> 00:19:48,725 Uh, so that coffee shop waitress, she must've been hurt kinda bad by that though, right? 412 00:19:48,809 --> 00:19:51,394 Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was- She was devastated. 413 00:19:51,478 --> 00:19:53,438 Oh. So... 414 00:19:53,522 --> 00:19:57,275 Well, tell you what, man. Why don't you go ahead and have this present anyway? 415 00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:01,530 Really? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I feel like you deserve it. 416 00:20:01,655 --> 00:20:04,491 Well, thanks, dude. Yeah. 417 00:20:04,616 --> 00:20:07,619 That's- That's rad. All right. Okay. 418 00:20:07,744 --> 00:20:11,665 Well, keep it real, man. Okay. Okay. 419 00:20:11,748 --> 00:20:13,500 All right. 420 00:21:06,803 --> 00:21:07,804 ENGLISH - US - PSDH