1
00:00:14,503 --> 00:00:15,670
Hey.

2
00:00:15,738 --> 00:00:17,105
Hi.

3
00:00:17,172 --> 00:00:18,806
Hey.

4
00:00:18,874 --> 00:00:21,509
Come back to bed and snuggle with me.

5
00:00:21,577 --> 00:00:25,747
Oh... I wish I could, but
I got to go to work.

6
00:00:25,814 --> 00:00:27,548
But there's cab fare
on the nightstand.

7
00:00:27,616 --> 00:00:29,851
That's the third morning
in a row you've done that.

8
00:00:29,918 --> 00:00:31,252
We're married.

9
00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:33,288
I'm already home, silly.

10
00:00:33,355 --> 00:00:34,322
Right. You're here.

11
00:00:34,390 --> 00:00:35,590
We're married, and that's cool.

12
00:00:35,658 --> 00:00:36,557
I'm psyched, dude.

13
00:00:36,625 --> 00:00:37,325
That's great.

14
00:00:37,393 --> 00:00:38,526
So you're... Yeah, okay.

15
00:00:38,594 --> 00:00:41,262
Well, you know, you could use the
cab fare though to get to work.

16
00:00:41,330 --> 00:00:42,430
Oh, I don't work.

17
00:00:42,498 --> 00:00:43,231
Oh, oh, okay.

18
00:00:43,299 --> 00:00:45,133
I just thought maybe you weren't
going to work recently because

19
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:46,868
we were going through a little
bit of a honeymoon phase.

20
00:00:46,935 --> 00:00:48,836
But you're saying that
you don't have a job.

21
00:00:48,904 --> 00:00:49,604
No job.

22
00:00:49,672 --> 00:00:51,339
No job at all? Wow.

23
00:00:51,407 --> 00:00:52,540
All yours.

24
00:00:52,608 --> 00:00:54,008
All mine.

25
00:00:54,076 --> 00:00:55,276
All mine all the time.

26
00:00:55,344 --> 00:00:56,411
All the time.

27
00:00:56,478 --> 00:00:57,945
Okay. Except on my work days.

28
00:00:58,013 --> 00:01:01,683
I do have to go to work, you know, so...
That's cool, though.

29
00:01:01,750 --> 00:01:04,052
You can just hang out here, I
guess, and sort of get used to

30
00:01:04,119 --> 00:01:06,888
the lay of the land or whatever...
Although, don't-don't go

31
00:01:06,955 --> 00:01:07,789
snooping around too much.

32
00:01:07,856 --> 00:01:09,624
'Cause this has all happened
really fast and I really

33
00:01:09,692 --> 00:01:11,759
haven't had time to do a pass yet.

34
00:01:11,827 --> 00:01:13,461
Don't-don't look in those drawers.

35
00:01:13,529 --> 00:01:14,762
What's in those drawers?

36
00:01:14,830 --> 00:01:16,531
My sex tapes.

37
00:01:16,598 --> 00:01:17,198
Yeah.

38
00:01:17,266 --> 00:01:18,566
All right, I got to go to work.

39
00:01:18,634 --> 00:01:20,902
I love you.

40
00:01:20,969 --> 00:01:24,238
I love you, too, Maureen.

41
00:01:32,381 --> 00:01:42,314
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com

42
00:02:05,658 --> 00:02:08,093
Okay, look, dude,
all I'm saying is that you

43
00:02:08,161 --> 00:02:11,096
started off our domestic
partnership on some very shaky,

44
00:02:11,164 --> 00:02:12,697
very bullshitty ground, dude.

45
00:02:12,765 --> 00:02:16,201
And I'm saying, Charlie,
you should get over it, move on.

46
00:02:16,269 --> 00:02:18,437
You signed the prenup, case closed.

47
00:02:18,504 --> 00:02:20,439
You told me it was
the phone bill, man.

48
00:02:20,506 --> 00:02:22,507
Of course I signed it.

49
00:02:22,508 --> 00:02:26,077
Why would you think that you
needed to sign a phone bill.

50
00:02:26,145 --> 00:02:29,748
I can't keep track of our
financial comings and goings.

51
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:33,552
When he hands me something to sign and
it's about money and papers, I sign it.

52
00:02:33,619 --> 00:02:35,053
Hey-oh.

53
00:02:35,121 --> 00:02:37,489
Look who got a brand-new car.

54
00:02:37,557 --> 00:02:39,891
I'm still a little bit
confused as to why in the hell

55
00:02:39,959 --> 00:02:42,127
you two got married
in the first place.

56
00:02:42,195 --> 00:02:45,664
Charlie, gets health insurance
and I get diddly-squat.

57
00:02:45,731 --> 00:02:46,598
He's gonna get some perks.

58
00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:47,566
He doesn't trust me.

59
00:02:47,633 --> 00:02:49,701
Hey, why in the hell are you
bathing yourself in the sink?

60
00:02:49,769 --> 00:02:51,770
Because I don't
have a home anymore.

61
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,505
So this is where I take a shower.

62
00:02:53,573 --> 00:02:54,606
This is where I live, Dennis.

63
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,209
Texting me again.

64
00:02:57,276 --> 00:02:58,176
This is pathetic.

65
00:02:58,244 --> 00:02:59,444
Back me up on this, Dennis.

66
00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:01,947
You got a prenup with Maureen, right?

67
00:03:02,014 --> 00:03:03,381
Uh, no, I did not.

68
00:03:03,449 --> 00:03:04,282
Should I have?

69
00:03:05,585 --> 00:03:06,818
Should you have?

70
00:03:06,886 --> 00:03:08,119
You are screwed.

71
00:03:08,187 --> 00:03:09,488
Typical.

72
00:03:09,555 --> 00:03:11,156
This is so typical.

73
00:03:11,224 --> 00:03:13,692
My God, Dee, you clearly have
something you want to say.

74
00:03:13,759 --> 00:03:15,126
So let's just get it over with.

75
00:03:15,194 --> 00:03:15,961
Oh, no.

76
00:03:16,028 --> 00:03:16,995
No, it's no big deal.

77
00:03:17,063 --> 00:03:19,898
It's just Bill Ponderosa is like
obsessed with me now or something.

78
00:03:19,966 --> 00:03:21,733
I don't know, he's
texting me all the time.

79
00:03:21,801 --> 00:03:22,567
He calls me, like, nonstop.

80
00:03:22,635 --> 00:03:23,935
He bought me a new car.

81
00:03:24,003 --> 00:03:28,240
Dee, are you seriously bragging
about sleeping with a married man?

82
00:03:28,307 --> 00:03:30,642
Yeah, one second you're on your
high horse about how great

83
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:32,644
marriage is, and now
you're destroying one?

84
00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:34,312
Well, I'm not the one who's married.

85
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:35,113
I didn't do anything wrong.

86
00:03:35,181 --> 00:03:36,414
You let him buy you a car.

87
00:03:36,482 --> 00:03:38,483
Well, Frank, I'm not going
to go passing on free cars.

88
00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:41,653
Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, all
this talk about marriage and

89
00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:45,891
Dee being such a whore has got me
thinking... I never got a bachelor party.

90
00:03:45,958 --> 00:03:46,925
We should go to the strip club.

91
00:03:46,993 --> 00:03:48,927
Right now?

92
00:03:48,995 --> 00:03:50,395
Yeah, immediately.

93
00:03:50,463 --> 00:03:52,697
And since you would have been my
best man, you should probably

94
00:03:52,765 --> 00:03:57,969
throw it for me.

95
00:03:58,037 --> 00:04:00,539
Yeah, and I'm still pretty pissed about
you not throwing me a bachelor party.

96
00:04:00,606 --> 00:04:02,307
So this way I figure we'll be even.

97
00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:03,542
I'm ready for this.

98
00:04:03,609 --> 00:04:05,944
Being married to Charlie's
got me all confused.

99
00:04:06,012 --> 00:04:07,445
I got to get my hetero on.

100
00:04:18,558 --> 00:04:19,558
I like that move.

101
00:04:19,625 --> 00:04:20,325
What is that?

102
00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:20,992
That's it.

103
00:04:21,060 --> 00:04:21,660
Motorcycle?

104
00:04:21,727 --> 00:04:23,128
That's pretty...
Yeah, not like that, though.

105
00:04:23,195 --> 00:04:25,297
It's pretty good, but you got to use...

106
00:04:25,364 --> 00:04:26,131
a little bit more shoulder.

107
00:04:26,198 --> 00:04:27,899
I like the way he's
doing it, actually.

108
00:04:27,967 --> 00:04:29,501
Yeah, 'cause I'm like,
I'm bending the bike.

109
00:04:29,569 --> 00:04:31,236
But that's not really
how you drive a motorcycle.

110
00:04:31,304 --> 00:04:33,071
Yeah, but you're not really
driving a motorcycle.

111
00:04:33,139 --> 00:04:33,772
It's my thing, okay?

112
00:04:33,839 --> 00:04:34,439
All right.

113
00:04:34,507 --> 00:04:36,841
Well, if you're not going to take it
seriously, then don't... Then don't do it.

114
00:04:36,909 --> 00:04:38,243
I feel like I was
doing it pretty good.

115
00:04:38,311 --> 00:04:39,711
I feel like you're
taking it too seriously.

116
00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:40,512
Let's not fight.

117
00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:41,179
It's a bachelor party.

118
00:04:41,247 --> 00:04:42,380
Oh, I got a text.

119
00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:44,082
I got a text from the woman.

120
00:04:44,150 --> 00:04:45,383
"Miss you."

121
00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:49,287
I'll just write, "Miss you, too.
Miss you, too."

122
00:04:49,355 --> 00:04:51,723
Now do I write the word "too" or
should I write the number two?

123
00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:53,925
What's the best way to do that
when we're texting back and forth?

124
00:04:53,993 --> 00:04:54,593
Who cares, dude?

125
00:04:54,660 --> 00:04:56,161
I'll do the word, I'll do the word.

126
00:04:56,228 --> 00:04:57,195
Okay, great.

127
00:04:57,263 --> 00:04:58,330
Frank, what's with the purse?

128
00:04:58,397 --> 00:05:00,065
It's my money bag.

129
00:05:00,132 --> 00:05:01,933
I'm gonna make it rain, baby.

130
00:05:02,001 --> 00:05:03,068
Whoa, hold on.

131
00:05:03,135 --> 00:05:03,969
Make it rain?

132
00:05:04,036 --> 00:05:05,704
What is that... You gonna
chuck money everywhere?

133
00:05:05,771 --> 00:05:06,404
Don't do that.

134
00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:07,572
Will you lighten up?

135
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:08,473
I'd like to make it rain.

136
00:05:08,541 --> 00:05:09,574
Can I make it rain, Mac?

137
00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:10,542
Why are you asking me?

138
00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:12,944
Well, dude, 'cause I can't
fund my own bachelor party.

139
00:05:13,012 --> 00:05:14,212
That's just tacky.

140
00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:16,147
Fine.

141
00:05:16,215 --> 00:05:17,949
Excuse me. Hi.

142
00:05:18,017 --> 00:05:18,883
Hi.

143
00:05:18,951 --> 00:05:21,820
What is the recommended amount of
money for one to make it rain?

144
00:05:21,887 --> 00:05:22,988
I'd say at least a thousand.

145
00:05:23,055 --> 00:05:27,726
How much would it cost for this gentleman
and I to get a nice couple's dance?

146
00:05:27,793 --> 00:05:30,028
Sorry. You have to be
a couple for that.

147
00:05:30,096 --> 00:05:31,262
We are a couple.

148
00:05:31,330 --> 00:05:32,764
Charlie, documents.

149
00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:34,599
All right, this is
what it was all for.

150
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:35,900
Mm-hmm.

151
00:05:35,968 --> 00:05:37,669
Look at this... We're married.

152
00:05:37,737 --> 00:05:40,005
Oh, you guys are cute.

153
00:05:40,072 --> 00:05:42,374
You're still going to
have to pay full price.

154
00:05:42,441 --> 00:05:43,308
Screw this.

155
00:05:43,376 --> 00:05:44,643
I'm gonna go make it rain.

156
00:05:44,710 --> 00:05:46,211
All right, well, hang on a second.

157
00:05:46,278 --> 00:05:47,178
Give me some money.

158
00:05:47,246 --> 00:05:49,080
Let's go, I'm your husband.

159
00:05:49,148 --> 00:05:51,082
Give me some money.

160
00:05:53,686 --> 00:05:54,786
There it is.

161
00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:55,720
What is this?

162
00:05:55,788 --> 00:05:57,956
I'm tightening the purse
strings on this relationship

163
00:05:58,024 --> 00:06:00,125
until there's a little
bit of give and take.

164
00:06:00,192 --> 00:06:01,459
You know what, keep your money.

165
00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:03,061
I don't need your little allowance.

166
00:06:03,129 --> 00:06:03,995
Hey, we'll see.

167
00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:06,865
"Miss you more."

168
00:06:06,932 --> 00:06:08,967
That's classic Maureen right there.

169
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:17,142
She's always got to one-up
me "Miss you most."

170
00:06:17,209 --> 00:06:19,944
Most... Can't get more
than most, right?

171
00:06:20,012 --> 00:06:22,147
So that should...
that should be the end of it, right?

172
00:06:22,214 --> 00:06:24,149
So, I hope so.

173
00:06:29,088 --> 00:06:30,255
Oh, man.

174
00:06:30,322 --> 00:06:31,790
You just cannot get enough, huh?

175
00:06:31,857 --> 00:06:34,359
Sorry for just showing
up, you know, but you weren't

176
00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:35,460
responding to my texts.

177
00:06:35,528 --> 00:06:36,795
Oh, I totally get it.

178
00:06:36,862 --> 00:06:39,164
Once you pop, you can't
stop, am I right?

179
00:06:40,332 --> 00:06:42,434
Actually, I came clean to my wife.

180
00:06:42,501 --> 00:06:44,135
And she kicked me out of the house.

181
00:06:44,203 --> 00:06:45,336
Ew. Ouch.

182
00:06:45,404 --> 00:06:46,071
Yeah.

183
00:06:46,138 --> 00:06:48,006
Bet you wish you could
take that one back.

184
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:50,175
So I was thinking, maybe I
could stay here tonight.

185
00:06:50,242 --> 00:06:51,009
Oh.

186
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:52,944
You are somewhat responsible for this.

187
00:06:53,012 --> 00:06:54,813
No. No, no, no, no.

188
00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:56,648
Can't you stay in a hotel or something.
Isn't that...?

189
00:06:56,716 --> 00:06:59,317
I would, but she froze my assets.

190
00:06:59,385 --> 00:07:00,585
Yikes.

191
00:07:00,653 --> 00:07:02,987
Shit's getting pretty
real for you, huh?

192
00:07:03,055 --> 00:07:07,525
But nonetheless, uh, I really, like I
said, I don't want you in my space.

193
00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:10,061
So there's got to be a lot of
other places that you could stay

194
00:07:10,129 --> 00:07:12,130
that aren't, you know, here.

195
00:07:12,198 --> 00:07:13,932
Dee, I gave you a car.

196
00:07:13,999 --> 00:07:16,768
You're gonna jam the
car in my face, huh?

197
00:07:16,836 --> 00:07:19,304
Come in.

198
00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:23,508
Thanks.

199
00:07:44,563 --> 00:07:46,464
Whoo!

200
00:07:46,532 --> 00:07:47,132
Dennis!

201
00:07:47,199 --> 00:07:50,101
Hey... Hey...
What are you doing?

202
00:07:50,169 --> 00:07:51,936
It is 2:00 in the morning.

203
00:07:52,004 --> 00:07:53,571
I was sleeping, Dennis.

204
00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:54,372
That's cool.

205
00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:57,041
Well, you're up now, baby
girl, so let's do some shots.

206
00:07:57,109 --> 00:07:58,143
No, I don't drink.

207
00:07:58,210 --> 00:07:59,144
You know that.

208
00:07:59,211 --> 00:08:01,079
I think it makes people look ugly.

209
00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:04,349
I...
Maybe I should go to my room.

210
00:08:04,416 --> 00:08:05,850
That is not your room anymore.

211
00:08:05,918 --> 00:08:08,820
It is my craft studio, so
kindly stay out of there.

212
00:08:08,888 --> 00:08:09,487
What?

213
00:08:09,555 --> 00:08:10,889
Don't freak out, dude.

214
00:08:10,956 --> 00:08:11,790
It's all good, dude.

215
00:08:11,857 --> 00:08:14,259
She turned it into her craft
studio where she makes terrible

216
00:08:14,326 --> 00:08:17,195
sweatshirts out of cats or...
puts cats in sweatshirts, and then...

217
00:08:17,263 --> 00:08:19,397
I'm, like, "Dude, what
the hell did you do?"

218
00:08:19,465 --> 00:08:21,599
Dennis, do not talk to me that way.

219
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:22,367
I am your wife.

220
00:08:22,434 --> 00:08:24,536
Please show me some respect
in front of your friends.

221
00:08:24,603 --> 00:08:25,703
Uh, you know what?

222
00:08:25,771 --> 00:08:32,944
I'm not entirely certain
that Maureen Ponderosa.

223
00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:35,480
That doesn't even...
I don't know what that... What?

224
00:08:35,548 --> 00:08:36,147
Divorce!

225
00:08:36,215 --> 00:08:37,816
What? What did you just say?

226
00:08:37,883 --> 00:08:40,084
I will divorce you, Maureen.

227
00:08:40,152 --> 00:08:40,819
I'll do it.

228
00:08:40,886 --> 00:08:41,753
Okay, you're drunk.

229
00:08:41,821 --> 00:08:43,321
Why don't we just go to bed...?

230
00:08:43,389 --> 00:08:44,422
I'm not drunk.

231
00:08:44,490 --> 00:08:47,926
I'm more sober than I've
ever been in my entire life.

232
00:08:47,993 --> 00:08:50,995
Okay, I'm a little bit drink.

233
00:08:51,063 --> 00:08:53,064
I'm totally drunk, but
my mind is sober.

234
00:08:53,132 --> 00:08:56,301
And my mind's telling me the
I don't love you, Maureen.

235
00:08:56,368 --> 00:08:57,435
I don't love you.

236
00:08:57,503 --> 00:08:58,736
I never loved you.

237
00:08:58,804 --> 00:09:00,805
You're annoying and you're strange.

238
00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:02,574
I don't know what to say.

239
00:09:02,641 --> 00:09:05,677
Don't say anything 'cause every time
you open your mouth, I'm, like, "Ugh!"

240
00:09:05,744 --> 00:09:07,045
It's like her breath...
Ugh!

241
00:09:07,112 --> 00:09:09,380
It's like always so bad.

242
00:09:09,448 --> 00:09:10,615
It's like a dead tooth.

243
00:09:10,683 --> 00:09:11,382
It's the dead tooth.

244
00:09:11,450 --> 00:09:12,717
I'm saying it now. I'll say it.

245
00:09:12,785 --> 00:09:13,685
You have a dead tooth.

246
00:09:13,752 --> 00:09:14,519
You realize that, right?

247
00:09:14,587 --> 00:09:17,288
And I hate it, and it's annoying!

248
00:09:17,356 --> 00:09:22,393
I want you and your boy toy
out of my apartment now!

249
00:09:23,128 --> 00:09:24,796
I'm the boy toy!

250
00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:26,431
You're my boy toy.

251
00:09:26,498 --> 00:09:30,468
You know, I'm not gonna
leave our apartment.

252
00:09:30,536 --> 00:09:32,170
Or should I say "my apartment,"

253
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:33,037
'cause it's my apartment.

254
00:09:33,105 --> 00:09:34,072
Oh, yeah?

255
00:09:34,139 --> 00:09:38,543
How about if you guys don't leave, I call
the cops and I tell 'em you beat me?

256
00:09:38,611 --> 00:09:40,378
What in the hell are
you talking about?

257
00:09:40,446 --> 00:09:44,983
I didn't touch you.

258
00:09:45,050 --> 00:09:46,317
What...? What are you doing?

259
00:09:46,385 --> 00:09:47,085
What is that?

260
00:09:47,152 --> 00:09:48,486
I recognize that. What is that?

261
00:09:48,554 --> 00:09:50,855
Oh, shit, that's from...
that's from Fear, dude.

262
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:51,756
Oh, that's Marky Mark.

263
00:09:51,824 --> 00:09:52,690
That's Marky Mark.

264
00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:53,892
That's what Marky Mark does.

265
00:09:53,959 --> 00:09:56,694
He does that, and then, um...
Oh, shit, and then the cops

266
00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:58,296
come, and then he...
Oh, and the police think that

267
00:09:58,364 --> 00:10:00,331
William Petersen, the guy from CSI...
Go. She means business.

268
00:10:00,399 --> 00:10:00,999
She means business.

269
00:10:01,066 --> 00:10:03,001
Shit! Oh, shit! Ah!

270
00:10:10,915 --> 00:10:11,981
Oh, my God!

271
00:10:12,049 --> 00:10:15,118
You are really making
yourself at home here, huh?

272
00:10:15,185 --> 00:10:17,854
Sorry. Want to have sex?

273
00:10:17,922 --> 00:10:19,555
What? No, no!

274
00:10:19,623 --> 00:10:20,390
God, no!

275
00:10:20,457 --> 00:10:21,524
Please close your legs up.

276
00:10:21,592 --> 00:10:24,994
That's... Listen, I don't want
to get into your personal life,

277
00:10:25,062 --> 00:10:26,129
you know what I mean?

278
00:10:26,196 --> 00:10:30,466
It's not really any of my business, but
this is really bumming me out, okay?

279
00:10:30,534 --> 00:10:32,135
So here's what I'd like to do.

280
00:10:32,202 --> 00:10:34,537
I'd like to talk game
plan with you, okay?

281
00:10:34,605 --> 00:10:38,141
And, um, number one, and most
importantly, uh, the car.

282
00:10:38,208 --> 00:10:39,008
Now hear me out.

283
00:10:39,076 --> 00:10:42,011
It was kinda a gift, so it'd be
pretty rude of you to try and...

284
00:10:42,079 --> 00:10:43,980
I don't give a shit
about the car, okay?

285
00:10:44,048 --> 00:10:44,647
Mm-hmm.

286
00:10:44,715 --> 00:10:45,915
My life is in ruins.

287
00:10:45,983 --> 00:10:46,582
Mm-hmm.

288
00:10:46,650 --> 00:10:47,650
I'm gonna lose my kids.

289
00:10:47,718 --> 00:10:49,218
Okay, great, so we're in agreement.

290
00:10:49,286 --> 00:10:50,119
I keep the car.

291
00:10:50,187 --> 00:10:50,787
That's wonderful.

292
00:10:50,854 --> 00:10:56,526
Now secondly, this is gonna be kind
of hard to hear, but, um... Get out!

293
00:10:56,593 --> 00:10:58,861
Get out!

294
00:10:58,929 --> 00:11:00,863
You gotta go back to your wife, okay?

295
00:11:00,931 --> 00:11:02,131
And get out of my place.

296
00:11:02,199 --> 00:11:04,968
Okay, well, then I'm gonna need
the car to get over there.

297
00:11:05,035 --> 00:11:06,970
Okay, well, the car's
off the table, okay?

298
00:11:07,037 --> 00:11:09,339
We just discussed the car, and
we came to an agreement that...

299
00:11:09,406 --> 00:11:10,673
Stop bringing up the car, okay?

300
00:11:10,741 --> 00:11:13,543
So I'll get dressed and I'll drive you
over there, and I'll drop you off.

301
00:11:13,610 --> 00:11:14,210
Okay.

302
00:11:14,278 --> 00:11:15,244
Okay. Well, get up.

303
00:11:15,312 --> 00:11:17,847
No, oh, God, I don't, I don't...
Okay, I'm gonna go in here.

304
00:11:17,915 --> 00:11:18,514
Jesus.

305
00:11:18,582 --> 00:11:21,250
Yeah, you now, I mean, I
wouldn't have imagined the whole

306
00:11:21,318 --> 00:11:22,652
thing going down quite the way it did.

307
00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:25,021
It was a little uncomfortable,
but I'm glad, you know, we got

308
00:11:25,089 --> 00:11:28,358
our little heart-to-heart, or whatever
you want to call it, out of the way.

309
00:11:28,425 --> 00:11:31,427
I feel like now we can set aside
our differences and settle this

310
00:11:31,495 --> 00:11:32,795
whole divorce pretty
amicably, you know?

311
00:11:32,863 --> 00:11:34,597
You think it's gonna
be that easy, dude?

312
00:11:34,665 --> 00:11:36,132
Well, yeah, of course.

313
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:39,135
I mean, marriage and divorce
these days, it's like a, it's

314
00:11:39,203 --> 00:11:41,337
more of a formality than
anything else, you know?

315
00:11:41,405 --> 00:11:43,706
It's just sort of something
that you do, right?

316
00:11:43,774 --> 00:11:45,508
Don't start with me, Charlie!

317
00:11:45,576 --> 00:11:46,776
You bring nothing to the table!

318
00:11:46,844 --> 00:11:47,443
Nothing!

319
00:11:47,511 --> 00:11:49,379
Oh!
I bring nothing to the table!

320
00:11:49,446 --> 00:11:50,413
This is my money!

321
00:11:50,481 --> 00:11:51,781
You bring nothing!

322
00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:57,920
Frank, okay?

323
00:11:57,988 --> 00:12:00,456
"How did my laundry get so clean?

324
00:12:00,524 --> 00:12:02,492
Oh, oh, who washed all
the dishes today?"

325
00:12:02,559 --> 00:12:03,826
Nobody washes the dishes!

326
00:12:03,894 --> 00:12:06,662
We eat the food directly off the
coffee table, and you know it!

327
00:12:06,730 --> 00:12:08,231
I cannot stand being married to you!

328
00:12:08,298 --> 00:12:09,565
Oh, you can't stand it?

329
00:12:09,633 --> 00:12:10,400
I'm gonna pull the plug.

330
00:12:10,467 --> 00:12:12,168
You gonna flush our
marriage down the toilet?

331
00:12:12,236 --> 00:12:13,102
Right down the toilet!

332
00:12:13,170 --> 00:12:14,070
Flush it, big boy!

333
00:12:14,138 --> 00:12:15,071
Yes, there he goes!

334
00:12:15,139 --> 00:12:16,973
Flush it down the toilet
'cause I don't care!

335
00:12:17,041 --> 00:12:17,640
Oh, yeah?

336
00:12:17,708 --> 00:12:20,243
I'm gonna pull the plug, but first
I'm gonna draw up some documents.

337
00:12:20,310 --> 00:12:22,211
All right, this is gonna
be an ugly-ass divorce,

338
00:12:22,279 --> 00:12:23,546
and we're gonna get a mediator.

339
00:12:23,614 --> 00:12:24,647
Okay, I got it.

340
00:12:24,715 --> 00:12:27,050
We'll get that idiot lawyer
that always helps us out.

341
00:12:27,117 --> 00:12:28,084
He does good by us.

342
00:12:28,152 --> 00:12:28,951
Yeah, he's excellent.

343
00:12:29,019 --> 00:12:31,821
But he slapped a restraining order
on us, so we can't use him.

344
00:12:31,889 --> 00:12:34,223
Also you need a lawyer, too,
so we should talk about it.

345
00:12:34,291 --> 00:12:35,024
I need a lawyer?

346
00:12:35,092 --> 00:12:35,691
For what?

347
00:12:35,759 --> 00:12:37,693
How are you not grasping
this situation?

348
00:12:37,761 --> 00:12:39,429
Oh, for the divorce.

349
00:12:39,496 --> 00:12:40,163
The divorce, yeah.

350
00:12:40,230 --> 00:12:41,531
You're getting a divorce?

351
00:12:41,598 --> 00:12:42,198
Yeah.

352
00:12:42,266 --> 00:12:43,733
All right, sot's going around.

353
00:12:43,801 --> 00:12:46,536
Okay, I think I know someone
who'll take both our cases.

354
00:12:46,603 --> 00:12:49,138
Is it you?

355
00:12:49,206 --> 00:12:52,141
Is it?

356
00:12:52,209 --> 00:12:53,743
'Cause if it's you,
I'm not interested.

357
00:12:53,811 --> 00:12:55,978
All right, well, I have a
family member who's a lawyer.

358
00:12:56,046 --> 00:12:57,980
I bet he'd do it.

359
00:12:59,650 --> 00:13:01,284
It's coming up here.

360
00:13:01,351 --> 00:13:04,053
This...
yeah, this is it right here.

361
00:13:04,121 --> 00:13:06,155
The Ponderosas' ponderosa.

362
00:13:06,223 --> 00:13:07,490
Ugh!

363
00:13:07,558 --> 00:13:09,092
Could you wait a minute?

364
00:13:09,159 --> 00:13:11,094
I just want to make sure it's okay.

365
00:13:11,161 --> 00:13:15,398
Yeah, you know, whatever it's gonna
take to wrap this up, really.

366
00:13:15,466 --> 00:13:16,499
Whew!

367
00:13:20,871 --> 00:13:21,637
Ugh!

368
00:13:27,444 --> 00:13:28,144
Maureen?

369
00:13:28,212 --> 00:13:29,145
No, it's Dee.

370
00:13:29,213 --> 00:13:30,713
How are things going on your end?

371
00:13:30,781 --> 00:13:31,514
Oh, not bad.

372
00:13:31,582 --> 00:13:32,181
Yeah, not bad.

373
00:13:32,249 --> 00:13:32,849
I'm getting a divorce.

374
00:13:33,584 --> 00:13:35,184
Yeah, I know how that goes.

375
00:13:35,252 --> 00:13:37,987
I got a messy situation
going on on my end, too.

376
00:13:38,055 --> 00:13:39,922
Had to let my guy go.

377
00:13:39,990 --> 00:13:41,357
Had to cut him loose.

378
00:13:41,425 --> 00:13:43,526
I tell you what, though,
I do love the car.

379
00:13:43,594 --> 00:13:47,130
Hands-free Blue...
I can do all kinds of stuff with both hands.

380
00:13:48,599 --> 00:13:50,433
Dennis? Did we get cut off?

381
00:13:50,501 --> 00:13:51,601
Okay, hop in there.

382
00:13:51,668 --> 00:13:53,236
No! Wha-wha-wha-wha-what
is this?

383
00:13:53,303 --> 00:13:54,370
What are you doing?

384
00:13:54,438 --> 00:13:55,404
Here he comes!

385
00:13:55,472 --> 00:13:56,506
Okay, go, go! Go, go!

386
00:13:56,573 --> 00:13:57,974
What? Oh, my God!

387
00:14:04,118 --> 00:14:05,052
I'm so glad you called, Charlie.

388
00:14:05,119 --> 00:14:07,287
Your uncle never hears
from you anymore.

389
00:14:07,355 --> 00:14:09,890
Well, you're kind of the only
actual lawyer I know, you know,

390
00:14:09,957 --> 00:14:11,958
that doesn't have a
restraining order against me.

391
00:14:12,026 --> 00:14:14,828
So I sort of had to call you, so...
I miss you too, bud.

392
00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:17,597
Uh... With the touching, with
the touching... None of that.

393
00:14:17,665 --> 00:14:18,899
You're put off by my hands.

394
00:14:18,966 --> 00:14:20,734
I know they're very small.

395
00:14:20,802 --> 00:14:21,902
It's been very hard on me.

396
00:14:21,969 --> 00:14:23,670
It is not... There's nothing
wrong with your hands, okay?

397
00:14:23,738 --> 00:14:25,138
Can we just focus on the law?

398
00:14:25,206 --> 00:14:26,306
Of course.

399
00:14:26,374 --> 00:14:29,309
All right, as far as shared
assets, I'm not seeing much.

400
00:14:29,377 --> 00:14:30,444
I'm keeping the hot plate.

401
00:14:30,511 --> 00:14:31,678
Over my dead body.

402
00:14:31,746 --> 00:14:33,347
Hey, hey, hey, easy, boys.

403
00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:36,016
Don't let the dog off the leash, okay?

404
00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:39,586
Remember, the bigger
man walks away first.

405
00:14:39,654 --> 00:14:41,355
You can have the hot plate.

406
00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:43,123
Hot dog!

407
00:14:43,191 --> 00:14:45,058
Now we're cooking with gas.

408
00:14:45,126 --> 00:14:46,426
Moving along to art holdings.

409
00:14:46,494 --> 00:14:49,296
All I'm seeing is a series
of drawings of elephants.

410
00:14:49,364 --> 00:14:51,164
Hmm...
Oh, yeah.

411
00:14:51,232 --> 00:14:53,633
Well, Charlie did the
elephant drawings.

412
00:14:53,701 --> 00:14:55,268
Yeah, but...
You should keep 'em.

413
00:14:55,336 --> 00:14:57,003
I did those for you, man.

414
00:14:57,071 --> 00:14:58,105
I like 'em.

415
00:14:58,172 --> 00:14:59,373
Well, you should like 'em.

416
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:00,774
I put a lot of work into 'em.

417
00:15:00,842 --> 00:15:03,076
And thank you for saying you like 'em.

418
00:15:03,144 --> 00:15:05,312
I've seen 'em and I like 'em, too.

419
00:15:05,380 --> 00:15:06,279
Yeah, they're good.

420
00:15:06,347 --> 00:15:07,547
I'll keep the drawings, okay?

421
00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:11,651
If I didn't know any better, I'd say
there's a lot of love in this room here.

422
00:15:11,719 --> 00:15:14,020
Look, Jack, we just want to
get back to where we were.

423
00:15:14,088 --> 00:15:17,391
That's... Sounds like what you
guys want is an annulment.

424
00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:20,594
It would essentially
void your partnership.

425
00:15:20,661 --> 00:15:22,429
Yeah, right, that sounds perfect.

426
00:15:22,497 --> 00:15:23,463
Marriage blows.

427
00:15:23,531 --> 00:15:25,132
Preaching to the choir, fellas.

428
00:15:26,434 --> 00:15:29,703
All right, I just need both
your signatures on here.

429
00:15:29,771 --> 00:15:31,738
All right, that's easy enough.

430
00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:34,040
Easy-peasy.

431
00:15:34,108 --> 00:15:36,576
One... Two.

432
00:15:36,644 --> 00:15:37,577
We did it.

433
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:38,512
That's it.

434
00:15:38,579 --> 00:15:40,981
Your union has hereby been dissolved.

435
00:15:41,048 --> 00:15:44,184
Why did we have to do all the touching
and the hand-holding if it was just...?

436
00:15:44,252 --> 00:15:44,985
It was fun.

437
00:15:45,052 --> 00:15:45,952
Hey, Mac.

438
00:15:46,020 --> 00:15:48,255
Do you mind snapping a
photo for the Web site?

439
00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:50,023
But keep my hands out of the shot.

440
00:15:54,562 --> 00:15:56,696
I just kidnapped Bill
Ponderosa's kids.

441
00:15:56,764 --> 00:15:59,332
All right, are the kids
confined in any way, maybe in a

442
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:03,470
crawl space or a backyard bunker?

443
00:16:03,538 --> 00:16:05,038
No, they're out in the car.

444
00:16:05,106 --> 00:16:06,373
Have you touched them yet?

445
00:16:06,441 --> 00:16:07,474
Absolutely not.

446
00:16:07,542 --> 00:16:08,508
What...? Who is this man?

447
00:16:10,211 --> 00:16:12,712
No, you don't need to...
What is she, some cheap tramp... huh?

448
00:16:12,780 --> 00:16:13,647
Oh, no.

449
00:16:13,714 --> 00:16:16,316
Bill, oh, my God, you
are such an asshole.

450
00:16:16,384 --> 00:16:17,551
I followed you, okay?

451
00:16:17,618 --> 00:16:19,653
Angel, I...
I knew you were seeing someone else.

452
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:21,922
Honey, that... Hi.
Hi, there, I'm Dee.

453
00:16:21,989 --> 00:16:23,390
Uh, I understand that.

454
00:16:23,458 --> 00:16:27,427
Listen, I wanted to say I'm
really sorry about the kids.

455
00:16:27,495 --> 00:16:29,930
I tell you what, I did
not mean to kidnap them.

456
00:16:29,997 --> 00:16:32,132
That was all...
that was all this guy.

457
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,633
Yeah, they're not my kids.

458
00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:35,035
Aren't you his wife?

459
00:16:35,102 --> 00:16:36,169
No.

460
00:16:36,237 --> 00:16:37,370
I'm his mistress.

461
00:16:37,438 --> 00:16:38,505
Well, what the hell, man?

462
00:16:38,573 --> 00:16:39,573
I'm taking my car back.

463
00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:40,607
Nuh-uh. That's my car.

464
00:16:40,675 --> 00:16:42,709
Actually, I loaned it to both of you ladies...

465
00:16:43,444 --> 00:16:44,110
Son of a bitch!

466
00:16:44,178 --> 00:16:45,245
I gonna kill you!

467
00:16:45,313 --> 00:16:47,981
What? How many
mistresses do you have?

468
00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:49,316
Mistress? I'm his wife.

469
00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:50,584
Kids, let's go.

470
00:16:50,651 --> 00:16:52,319
Yeah, come on, kids, let's go home.

471
00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:53,553
No, no, no, no, no.

472
00:16:53,621 --> 00:16:54,821
Not you, Bill.

473
00:16:54,889 --> 00:16:57,991
Now I want this to be
over with right now.

474
00:16:58,059 --> 00:16:59,226
So how much does he owe you?

475
00:16:59,293 --> 00:17:00,360
What?

476
00:17:00,428 --> 00:17:01,928
How much does he owe you, whore?

477
00:17:01,996 --> 00:17:03,763
How much does he owe you for the sex?

478
00:17:03,831 --> 00:17:05,065
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

479
00:17:05,132 --> 00:17:06,399
I'm not a prostitute.

480
00:17:06,467 --> 00:17:08,468
I think that's... That's clear.

481
00:17:08,536 --> 00:17:11,137
Oh, well, congratulations.

482
00:17:11,205 --> 00:17:14,307
You're the only woman he didn't
have to pay to sleep with.

483
00:17:14,375 --> 00:17:17,043
You must be very proud of yourself.

484
00:17:17,945 --> 00:17:18,845
Wait, no, no.

485
00:17:18,913 --> 00:17:20,347
Oh, goddamn it.

486
00:17:22,884 --> 00:17:25,619
Yeah, well.

487
00:17:25,686 --> 00:17:31,791
The, uh, the gravity of my situation
just set in, so... Let's go get you a

488
00:17:31,859 --> 00:17:32,459
divorce, huh?

489
00:17:32,527 --> 00:17:33,393
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

490
00:17:33,461 --> 00:17:35,996
Yeah.

491
00:17:36,063 --> 00:17:38,298
You guys have any questions?

492
00:17:38,366 --> 00:17:39,666
Yeah, I got a question.

493
00:17:39,734 --> 00:17:41,234
What's in the fanny pack?

494
00:17:41,302 --> 00:17:45,805
Oh, check this out, Mac and Dennis.

495
00:17:45,873 --> 00:17:47,474
Just a little victory dance.

496
00:17:47,542 --> 00:17:50,277
Thought maybe we could hang out later.

497
00:17:50,344 --> 00:17:52,245
No.

498
00:17:52,313 --> 00:17:54,281
No.

499
00:17:54,348 --> 00:17:57,183
Oh, Mr. Reynolds.

500
00:17:57,251 --> 00:18:00,086
Oh, uh, I'm sorry, what
are you doing here?

501
00:18:00,154 --> 00:18:02,789
Well, when I heard you were
getting divorced, I-I felt

502
00:18:02,857 --> 00:18:05,191
compelled to involve myself.

503
00:18:05,259 --> 00:18:11,731
I'm sorry, how would you have
heard that I was getting a

504
00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:15,402
listening to you drunkenly
explain all that at 3:00 a.m.

505
00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:18,538
I enjoyed it so much, that I
tracked down Maureen here and I

506
00:18:18,606 --> 00:18:22,108
offered her my services...
pro bono, of course.

507
00:18:22,176 --> 00:18:24,110
Hold on, fellas.

508
00:18:24,178 --> 00:18:25,478
I'm Jack Kelly.

509
00:18:25,546 --> 00:18:26,713
I'm a lawyer.

510
00:18:26,781 --> 00:18:28,381
Hello, Jack Kelly.

511
00:18:28,449 --> 00:18:30,016
The pleasure is all mine.

512
00:18:30,084 --> 00:18:32,052
It's a pleasure to meet you.

513
00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:35,922
The pleasure's... Still...
Why don't we just get started.

514
00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:38,925
Why don't we just get started.

515
00:18:41,162 --> 00:18:48,702
Aw...
Boy, the old place, huh?

516
00:18:48,769 --> 00:18:51,838
Some good memories here.

517
00:18:51,906 --> 00:18:53,907
All of us.

518
00:18:53,975 --> 00:18:55,909
Oh, yeah.

519
00:18:58,646 --> 00:19:03,416
Hey, um... So I was like...
I'm gonna go, I think...

520
00:19:03,484 --> 00:19:04,751
No, no, no, stick around, dude.

521
00:19:04,819 --> 00:19:05,418
Stick around.

522
00:19:05,486 --> 00:19:06,086
Please don't go.

523
00:19:06,153 --> 00:19:07,654
I don't...
I don't want to, though.

524
00:19:08,389 --> 00:19:09,656
No, you should stay...
I use shea butter.

525
00:19:09,724 --> 00:19:11,758
Assorted lanolin products.

526
00:19:11,826 --> 00:19:13,927
Oh, I'm serious, you
could be a hand model.

527
00:19:13,995 --> 00:19:15,662
You've got the goods.

528
00:19:15,730 --> 00:19:16,963
That was quick, guys.

529
00:19:17,031 --> 00:19:18,732
Open and shut case, Dennis.

530
00:19:18,799 --> 00:19:19,432
Okay.

531
00:19:19,500 --> 00:19:20,867
Did you get the apartment back?

532
00:19:20,935 --> 00:19:21,568
I sure did.

533
00:19:22,637 --> 00:19:24,638
You did?

534
00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:26,773
And you also acquired Ms.

535
00:19:26,841 --> 00:19:28,308
Ponderosa's debt.

536
00:19:28,376 --> 00:19:29,242
Whoo-hoo.

537
00:19:29,310 --> 00:19:30,076
What? You're in debt?

538
00:19:30,144 --> 00:19:31,111
Not anymore.

539
00:19:31,178 --> 00:19:32,812
But you are... About 90K.

540
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,015
This guy seems to think you
don't have a case and I'm

541
00:19:35,082 --> 00:19:36,316
inclined to agree with him.

542
00:19:36,384 --> 00:19:39,686
Yeah. Well, when I found out that Ms.
Ponderosa here had been

543
00:19:39,754 --> 00:19:43,490
cast out of her marital home, I
only thought it was fair that

544
00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:46,793
you assumed her debt in addition to
the alimony payments, of course.

545
00:19:46,861 --> 00:19:48,895
Wait a second... So I got
to pay alimony payments?

546
00:19:48,963 --> 00:19:50,530
Uncle Jack, what the hell?

547
00:19:50,598 --> 00:19:51,798
I froze up.

548
00:19:51,866 --> 00:19:52,899
He's great.

549
00:19:52,967 --> 00:19:55,502
Oh, congratulations,
Miss Ponderosa.

550
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:58,705
Congratulations to you!

551
00:19:58,773 --> 00:20:00,473
See you around, Dennis.

552
00:20:00,541 --> 00:20:01,241
Yeah.

553
00:20:01,308 --> 00:20:02,308
Mac.

554
00:20:02,376 --> 00:20:05,545
Hey, Mac, would you mind taking
a shot of the three of us

555
00:20:05,613 --> 00:20:07,914
for the Web site.

556
00:20:07,982 --> 00:20:09,382
Come on, Dennis.

557
00:20:09,450 --> 00:20:12,218
And would it be okay if you put
your hands on top of mine?

558
00:20:12,286 --> 00:20:13,553
Like they're my hands?

559
00:20:13,621 --> 00:20:14,421
Sure, yeah.

560
00:20:14,488 --> 00:20:15,088
Like that?

561
00:20:15,156 --> 00:20:15,822
Yes.

562
00:20:15,890 --> 00:20:16,589
Okay.

563
00:20:16,657 --> 00:20:17,757
That looks like my hands.

564
00:20:17,825 --> 00:20:20,226
For the Web site.

565
00:20:20,294 --> 00:20:22,562
We're lawyers.

566
00:20:22,563 --> 00:20:32,563
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com