1
00:00:04,483 --> 00:00:05,350
I'm so pumped, dude.

2
00:00:05,418 --> 00:00:07,452
I hope I get to see at
least one ancient spirit.

3
00:00:07,520 --> 00:00:09,488
I think we should get
some chalk and some erasers,

4
00:00:09,556 --> 00:00:12,758
because that dust cloud, you know,
really shows the laser beam alarms.

5
00:00:12,825 --> 00:00:14,193
Oh!
Get a little dust cloud going.

6
00:00:14,260 --> 00:00:16,995
We got to spend a lot of
time in the Civil War section.

7
00:00:17,063 --> 00:00:18,697
No, we're not doing
the Civil War section, Frank.

8
00:00:18,765 --> 00:00:20,232
We are gonna hit up
Ancient Egypt though.

9
00:00:20,300 --> 00:00:21,099
I'm very excited about that.

10
00:00:21,167 --> 00:00:21,934
And we're sticking together.

11
00:00:22,001 --> 00:00:24,603
Just so I'm clear,
you guys don't actually think

12
00:00:24,671 --> 00:00:27,272
that things are going to come
alive because you're spending

13
00:00:27,340 --> 00:00:28,774
the night in a museum, right?

14
00:00:28,841 --> 00:00:31,009
I'm sorry, but we're
simply opening ourselves up to

15
00:00:31,077 --> 00:00:33,378
the possibility of an amazing
adventure this evening.

16
00:00:33,446 --> 00:00:34,713
Is there something wrong with that?

17
00:00:34,781 --> 00:00:36,915
Now, whether that means, uh,
Charlie running into his ancient

18
00:00:36,983 --> 00:00:40,624
spirits or us having to just, you know, run
away from security guards all night,

19
00:00:40,744 --> 00:00:42,203
It's gonna be a really really great time.

20
00:00:42,323 --> 00:00:44,412
It's certainly gonna be better
than sticking around alone all night,

21
00:00:44,532 --> 00:00:46,967
watching you eat sandwich
after sandwich after sandwich.

22
00:00:47,087 --> 00:00:48,627
What the hell is the matter with you?

23
00:00:48,866 --> 00:00:50,491
You've been stuffing your face for days.

24
00:00:50,611 --> 00:00:52,080
It's fatness, Frank.
Plain and simple.

25
00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:53,709
The person's becoming fat
in front of your eyes.

26
00:00:53,829 --> 00:00:56,279
I don't even know how to make
the bird jokes anymore,

27
00:00:56,399 --> 00:00:58,963
- like they don't apply.
- I'm not fat. I'm pregnant.

28
00:01:00,088 --> 00:01:01,959
I feel like you say that all the time now.

29
00:01:02,079 --> 00:01:04,186
You better do yourself a favor
and flush it out.

30
00:01:04,306 --> 00:01:06,932
Wait a second. You definitely
said that before. You're right.

31
00:01:07,052 --> 00:01:09,676
Yeah, and since we're all saying
things that we say all the time

32
00:01:09,796 --> 00:01:12,432
I'll reiterate. Dee, we don't care
about you or your body,

33
00:01:12,552 --> 00:01:15,398
or your baby, or that baby bird you're
probably carrying inside of you.

34
00:01:15,952 --> 00:01:16,937
Oh, really?

35
00:01:17,057 --> 00:01:18,274
Well you should give a shit,

36
00:01:18,394 --> 00:01:19,787
'cause one of you is the father.

37
00:01:22,052 --> 00:01:23,497
- What?
- W-What the hell you talking about?

38
00:01:23,617 --> 00:01:24,777
I'm talking about the Halloween party.

39
00:01:24,897 --> 00:01:26,219
One of you got me pregnant.

40
00:01:26,481 --> 00:01:30,417
But you know, since you guys don't care about
me or my body or my baby or whatever it was

41
00:01:30,537 --> 00:01:32,204
that you were saying, we
shouldn't talk about it.

42
00:01:32,324 --> 00:01:34,476
You guys are on your way to a
museum to spend the night.

43
00:01:34,596 --> 00:01:36,284
Hey, have a great time, guys.

44
00:01:40,069 --> 00:01:41,208
Oh, shit.

45
00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:51,476
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com

46
00:02:14,770 --> 00:02:16,137
I mean, what is
she even talking about?

47
00:02:16,205 --> 00:02:17,772
Got her pregnant at
the Halloween party?

48
00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:18,473
What does that mean?

49
00:02:18,541 --> 00:02:20,141
I don't even remember
that party; I was wasted.

50
00:02:20,209 --> 00:02:21,042
Yeah, me, too.

51
00:02:21,110 --> 00:02:22,811
I-I browned out that evening.

52
00:02:22,878 --> 00:02:23,678
Browned out?

53
00:02:23,746 --> 00:02:24,846
What's browned out?

54
00:02:24,914 --> 00:02:28,216
Oh, it's when you drink so
much that everything goes brown.

55
00:02:28,217 --> 00:02:31,052
It's not as severe as a blackout,
'cause I remember bits and pieces.

56
00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:32,387
I like to call it browning out.

57
00:02:32,455 --> 00:02:34,155
Hmm, never
heard of that before.

58
00:02:34,223 --> 00:02:35,690
There's a good
reason for that, Frank.

59
00:02:35,758 --> 00:02:37,492
Because I think Mac just
made it up on the spot.

60
00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:38,026
I did.

61
00:02:38,093 --> 00:02:38,593
You did?

62
00:02:39,161 --> 00:02:40,695
That's a great term... browning out.

63
00:02:40,763 --> 00:02:41,296
You like it?

64
00:02:41,363 --> 00:02:41,896
I love it!

65
00:02:41,964 --> 00:02:42,397
Thank you.

66
00:02:42,465 --> 00:02:45,366
And I-I'm pretty sure at a certain
point, we all probably browned out.

67
00:02:45,434 --> 00:02:47,769
So I think our best chance at
figuring this out is for us to

68
00:02:47,837 --> 00:02:50,605
all put our browns together,
mash them together and try and

69
00:02:50,673 --> 00:02:52,407
figure out which one of
you two banged my sister.

70
00:02:52,475 --> 00:02:54,042
Okay, but let's not over use
the brown thing right in

71
00:02:54,109 --> 00:02:54,642
the beginning, you know.

72
00:02:54,710 --> 00:02:56,010
Yeah, but here's the thing.

73
00:02:56,078 --> 00:02:57,979
Once you throw a term like that
out and everybody likes it, it's

74
00:02:58,047 --> 00:02:58,613
pretty much fair game.

75
00:02:58,681 --> 00:03:00,682
- We can use it whenever...
- It's public domain at that point.

76
00:03:00,749 --> 00:03:01,850
It becomes public domain.

77
00:03:01,917 --> 00:03:03,985
Now we're just trying
to figure out who banged Dee.

78
00:03:04,053 --> 00:03:05,286
That's the important thing.

79
00:03:05,354 --> 00:03:07,255
Let's not focus too much on the
brown thing... Even though it's a

80
00:03:07,323 --> 00:03:08,323
term that I'm gonna use a lot.

81
00:03:08,390 --> 00:03:10,091
And I'm probably gonna
use it a lot right now.

82
00:03:10,159 --> 00:03:12,227
So here's what I remember
from my brown state.

83
00:03:12,294 --> 00:03:14,696
I remember we were all in
costume, and our costumes were

84
00:03:14,763 --> 00:03:17,131
pretty cool, except for yours.

85
00:03:17,199 --> 00:03:21,002
I was really pissed off at you, because
we agreed to go as Mario and Luigi.

86
00:03:21,070 --> 00:03:22,904
I held up my end of the bargain.

87
00:03:22,972 --> 00:03:26,508
And then you showed up wearing a
different costume at the last minute.

88
00:03:26,575 --> 00:03:27,542
Dude, what are you doing?

89
00:03:27,610 --> 00:03:28,743
Where's your Mario costume?

90
00:03:28,811 --> 00:03:30,678
No, I went with a sexier look.

91
00:03:30,746 --> 00:03:31,379
Sexy?

92
00:03:31,447 --> 00:03:33,837
Bro, we agreed on funny over sexy this
year,

93
00:03:33,957 --> 00:03:35,349
so we could disarm the ladies...

94
00:03:35,469 --> 00:03:36,791
You don't remember this conversation?

95
00:03:36,911 --> 00:03:37,987
Without my Mario...

96
00:03:38,107 --> 00:03:40,154
What am I? Like some weird
Italian plumber.

97
00:03:40,222 --> 00:03:41,422
I look like an asshole.

98
00:03:41,490 --> 00:03:42,123
What is that?

99
00:03:42,191 --> 00:03:43,024
What even is that?

100
00:03:43,092 --> 00:03:46,394
I'm that character from Lord
of the Rings, Viggio Morgenstein.

101
00:03:46,462 --> 00:03:48,530
Okay, that is not the
character's name, that's the

102
00:03:48,597 --> 00:03:50,431
actor's name, and you're not
even getting that right.

103
00:03:50,499 --> 00:03:53,101
You're totally, totally
boning me here, bro.

104
00:03:53,168 --> 00:03:53,735
You realize that?

105
00:03:53,802 --> 00:03:54,435
Yo, yo, yo!

106
00:03:54,503 --> 00:03:56,371
Look at the turnout for our partay.

107
00:03:56,438 --> 00:03:57,839
Fizz! Fizz!

108
00:03:57,907 --> 00:04:00,074
I vant to suck your blood!

109
00:04:00,142 --> 00:04:01,509
It's Tvilight time!

110
00:04:01,577 --> 00:04:03,111
Time for blood sucking.

111
00:04:04,313 --> 00:04:06,781
Yeah, dude, I'm doing a vampire
thing, 'cause chicks are all

112
00:04:06,849 --> 00:04:08,917
into vampires and stuff, you
know, 'cause of the stupid

113
00:04:08,984 --> 00:04:10,385
Twilight movie and all
that other crap.

114
00:04:10,452 --> 00:04:12,654
You know, so I'm like, what
if the waitress is into it?

115
00:04:12,721 --> 00:04:13,721
This is my best shot!

116
00:04:13,789 --> 00:04:15,590
You are dressed like
the Phantom of the Opera.

117
00:04:15,658 --> 00:04:16,357
He's not a vampire.

118
00:04:16,425 --> 00:04:17,525
He eats theater people.

119
00:04:17,593 --> 00:04:18,226
No, he doesn't.

120
00:04:18,294 --> 00:04:18,993
I think he might.

121
00:04:19,061 --> 00:04:19,627
He does.

122
00:04:19,695 --> 00:04:22,163
And I'm surprised you even
know who the Phantom of the Opera is.

123
00:04:22,231 --> 00:04:22,764
He might not.

124
00:04:22,831 --> 00:04:23,398
He doesn't.

125
00:04:23,465 --> 00:04:24,632
No, I don't, I don't.

126
00:04:24,700 --> 00:04:25,900
This party blows.

127
00:04:25,968 --> 00:04:26,734
There's no studs here.

128
00:04:26,802 --> 00:04:28,436
No beef in the freezer,
if you know what I mean.

129
00:04:28,504 --> 00:04:32,106
Dee, why in God's name would you
wear a costume with giant wings?

130
00:04:32,174 --> 00:04:33,074
I'm a sexy angel.

131
00:04:33,142 --> 00:04:35,944
Are we supposed to pretend like
you're not dressed like a giant bird?

132
00:04:36,011 --> 00:04:38,346
I mean, if you're gonna be
sexy, don't dress like a bird, Dee.

133
00:04:38,414 --> 00:04:41,049
I didn't dress like
a bird, I'm clearly an angel.

134
00:04:41,116 --> 00:04:41,549
No.

135
00:04:41,617 --> 00:04:43,618
Besides, did you
guys see that cooze over there,

136
00:04:43,686 --> 00:04:45,353
dressing like a peacock?

137
00:04:45,421 --> 00:04:46,654
Big, giant bird.

138
00:04:46,722 --> 00:04:47,755
Green bird.

139
00:04:50,292 --> 00:04:51,626
She wears it well.

140
00:04:51,694 --> 00:04:52,493
Woof, woof.

141
00:04:52,561 --> 00:04:54,095
She wears it very well.

142
00:04:54,163 --> 00:04:56,464
She wears it so well, in fact,
that I have now pinpointed her

143
00:04:56,532 --> 00:04:57,799
as my prey for the evening.

144
00:04:57,866 --> 00:04:58,633
Yeah.

145
00:04:58,701 --> 00:05:00,668
She will be mine.

146
00:05:00,736 --> 00:05:03,338
As a matter of fact, I'm gonna go
get that process started right now.

147
00:05:03,405 --> 00:05:05,106
Out of my way, bird.

148
00:05:05,174 --> 00:05:07,279
This is all sounding right.

149
00:05:07,399 --> 00:05:10,425
- I remember this.
- Yeah? Does all this seem right to you?

150
00:05:10,545 --> 00:05:11,831
So it was later in the evening and

151
00:05:12,070 --> 00:05:13,315
and things have progressed quite a bit

152
00:05:13,435 --> 00:05:16,325
cause I remember we all got
pretty lit at this point. But...

153
00:05:16,747 --> 00:05:20,506
See, I distinctly remember being some kind
of a commotion at the other end of the bar.

154
00:05:20,745 --> 00:05:23,390
Leave us alone. Stop it!

155
00:05:23,510 --> 00:05:26,457
Now this lady sounded like she was
in a fair amount of distress, but...

156
00:05:26,724 --> 00:05:27,927
I didn't really give a shit.

157
00:05:28,047 --> 00:05:30,079
Cause despite looking
like a cartoon bricklayer

158
00:05:30,487 --> 00:05:35,038
I was started to get pretty close
to sealing the deal with the peacock lady.

159
00:05:35,158 --> 00:05:37,289
Look, dude.
You've been bugging me all night.

160
00:05:37,409 --> 00:05:40,113
OK, I think your costume's weird,
I think you're creepy,

161
00:05:40,233 --> 00:05:43,725
- and I just want you to leave me alone.
- Yeah.

162
00:05:44,189 --> 00:05:45,455
Yes...

163
00:05:46,278 --> 00:05:48,501
Dude, this costume is so sexy.

164
00:05:48,621 --> 00:05:50,442
- What?
- I can't believe it, man.

165
00:05:52,359 --> 00:05:55,541
"Oh, my God, you look so sexy.
I'm gonna sex you all up."

166
00:05:55,661 --> 00:05:56,872
"Oh, my goodness...

167
00:05:56,992 --> 00:05:58,059
Get your sex off me!"

168
00:05:58,127 --> 00:06:00,962
And then she gets all sexy with
me, 'cause I've, like, got the

169
00:06:01,030 --> 00:06:02,530
sexiest costume in the world!

170
00:06:02,598 --> 00:06:03,431
I hate it!

171
00:06:03,499 --> 00:06:05,733
So what-what... did you
want to get rid of that costume?

172
00:06:05,801 --> 00:06:07,268
Yes, I want to
get rid of the costume!

173
00:06:07,336 --> 00:06:09,003
You have any idea what
it's like to be this sexy?

174
00:06:09,071 --> 00:06:10,405
Uh, can I have
your costume, dude?

175
00:06:10,472 --> 00:06:11,673
Yeah, you can have it.

176
00:06:11,740 --> 00:06:12,173
Really?

177
00:06:12,241 --> 00:06:12,974
You'll switch costumes with me?

178
00:06:13,042 --> 00:06:13,474
Yeah!

179
00:06:13,542 --> 00:06:14,842
Let's switch, let's switch.

180
00:06:15,411 --> 00:06:16,110
Come on, let's go switch.

181
00:06:16,178 --> 00:06:17,211
You'll be okay, buddy.

182
00:06:17,279 --> 00:06:17,912
Yes, dude!

183
00:06:17,980 --> 00:06:18,980
It's all coming back to me now.

184
00:06:19,114 --> 00:06:21,516
You came over to me, we agreed
to switch costumes, you gave me

185
00:06:21,583 --> 00:06:26,621
your sexy, sexy costume, and I was able
to fell the seductive temptress finally.

186
00:06:26,689 --> 00:06:29,724
Oh, yeah, so I did have sex
with the peacock lady.

187
00:06:29,792 --> 00:06:30,925
Yeah, awesome.

188
00:06:30,993 --> 00:06:32,260
Ah, that's so awesome, dude.

189
00:06:32,327 --> 00:06:33,361
Well, mystery solved.

190
00:06:33,429 --> 00:06:35,763
I mean... awesome.

191
00:06:35,831 --> 00:06:37,365
That's not the mystery.

192
00:06:37,433 --> 00:06:38,633
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

193
00:06:38,701 --> 00:06:41,035
That you banged the peacock
chick is not the mystery.

194
00:06:41,103 --> 00:06:43,171
The Dee thing is the mystery.

195
00:06:43,238 --> 00:06:45,506
Right. Dee... somebody had sex
with Dee, and she got pregnant

196
00:06:45,574 --> 00:06:47,008
and... well, whatever, okay.

197
00:06:47,076 --> 00:06:50,611
Well, clearly, from that story, Charlie,
you're the one that banged her.

198
00:06:50,679 --> 00:06:52,914
That's why you were feeling so
much remorse and regret, and you

199
00:06:52,981 --> 00:06:54,582
had the tears coming out of your eye.

200
00:06:54,650 --> 00:06:57,652
I mean, who wouldn't feel that way
after banging... Ah, shit, dude.

201
00:06:57,720 --> 00:06:58,753
Oh, shit.

202
00:06:58,821 --> 00:07:01,289
'Cause the way you're telling
that story, it definitely sounds

203
00:07:01,356 --> 00:07:04,826
like that, 'cause I remember crying.

204
00:07:04,893 --> 00:07:06,027
No.

205
00:07:06,095 --> 00:07:07,495
Those were tears of joy.

206
00:07:07,563 --> 00:07:10,131
Yes, and it wasn't because
of Dee, obviously.

207
00:07:10,199 --> 00:07:11,332
Okay, I remember this now.

208
00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:12,333
I remember this, all right?

209
00:07:12,401 --> 00:07:14,335
Frank and Artemis were sitting
at the bar, and they were in

210
00:07:14,403 --> 00:07:16,337
the middle of some
kind of big argument.

211
00:07:16,405 --> 00:07:18,906
And I was with the McPoyle
brothers over at the jukebox,

212
00:07:18,974 --> 00:07:21,909
and I just finalized a
delicate truce with them.

213
00:07:21,977 --> 00:07:24,479
So, look, if you guys are
cool, then I'm totally cool.

214
00:07:24,546 --> 00:07:26,681
We're cool as cucumbers.

215
00:07:26,749 --> 00:07:27,749
Bump it.

216
00:07:27,816 --> 00:07:28,850
This time, I will bump it.

217
00:07:28,917 --> 00:07:29,984
The truce is on!

218
00:07:30,052 --> 00:07:32,320
We bumped fists, and Dee walked by.

219
00:07:32,387 --> 00:07:33,321
Oh, hey, Dee.

220
00:07:33,388 --> 00:07:34,322
Hey, Charlie.

221
00:07:34,389 --> 00:07:35,523
Great costume.

222
00:07:35,591 --> 00:07:36,691
Yeah, you, too.

223
00:07:36,759 --> 00:07:37,692
Thanks.

224
00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:38,826
Like the feathers.

225
00:07:38,894 --> 00:07:41,763
And just then, the waitress came in.

226
00:07:41,830 --> 00:07:47,886
Hey... I see you
received my invitation.

227
00:07:48,006 --> 00:07:50,745
Yeah, Charlie, I received all 100 of them.

228
00:07:50,865 --> 00:07:53,574
- Who's this jerk?
- This is my new boyfriend.

229
00:07:53,694 --> 00:07:55,009
He's here to protect me.

230
00:07:55,129 --> 00:07:58,044
Oh, this is the guy
you were telling me about.

231
00:07:58,164 --> 00:08:00,587
Hey. Hey. The lady's taken.

232
00:08:00,707 --> 00:08:02,796
- Get out of my face, bro.
- Oh, really?

233
00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:05,106
You want your ass kicked?

234
00:08:05,226 --> 00:08:06,260
OK, leave us alone.

235
00:08:06,380 --> 00:08:07,959
I have to defend her honor.

236
00:08:08,079 --> 00:08:10,378
- Please, stop it.
- Mac, get my back.

237
00:08:10,768 --> 00:08:13,019
Ohh!

238
00:08:13,139 --> 00:08:14,362
Oh, Goddamn it!

239
00:08:14,429 --> 00:08:16,764
I got milk all over me!

240
00:08:16,832 --> 00:08:21,227
That was insanely masculine.

241
00:08:22,538 --> 00:08:23,471
I made out with the waitress!

242
00:08:23,539 --> 00:08:24,472
That's amazing!

243
00:08:24,540 --> 00:08:26,474
Man, I got to call her, or I'm...
I'm out of here.

244
00:08:26,542 --> 00:08:27,475
Charlie, didn't happen.

245
00:08:27,543 --> 00:08:28,476
No?

246
00:08:28,544 --> 00:08:30,478
That's not the way it happened.

247
00:08:30,546 --> 00:08:31,479
No?

248
00:08:31,547 --> 00:08:34,482
No. You got parts of it right, but
you're leaving out some major things.

249
00:08:34,550 --> 00:08:37,518
Let me set the damn record straight.

250
00:08:37,586 --> 00:08:40,421
First of all, don't say
I went as Spider-Man.

251
00:08:40,489 --> 00:08:41,589
I didn't go as Spider-Man.

252
00:08:41,657 --> 00:08:43,157
I was Man-Spider.

253
00:08:43,225 --> 00:08:44,625
Totally different.

254
00:08:44,693 --> 00:08:47,562
Yes, I was having an argument
with Artemis, because a couple

255
00:08:47,629 --> 00:08:52,300
weeks before, we had some makeup sex in
a Dumpster out in the back of Wendy's.

256
00:08:53,602 --> 00:08:54,936
Yeah! Yeah!

257
00:08:55,003 --> 00:08:59,240
She incorporated a bun
in the lovemaking.

258
00:08:59,308 --> 00:09:02,877
She took the-the...
the dough and rolled it up into a ball,

259
00:09:02,945 --> 00:09:05,346
and then she...
And we were going berserk.

260
00:09:05,414 --> 00:09:08,115
She loves that kind of stuff, and I-I...
I admit I do, too.

261
00:09:08,183 --> 00:09:11,118
Frank, Frank, we don't need to
hear this part of the story.

262
00:09:11,186 --> 00:09:13,120
Okay? Can you just tell
us about Halloween?

263
00:09:13,188 --> 00:09:14,121
Stick to Halloween night.

264
00:09:14,189 --> 00:09:15,122
Okay.

265
00:09:15,190 --> 00:09:17,859
We were arguing because she
wanted another Dumpster hump and

266
00:09:17,926 --> 00:09:19,327
I wanted to stay at the party.

267
00:09:19,394 --> 00:09:20,595
So I walked away.

268
00:09:20,662 --> 00:09:22,597
That's when you were doing your thing.

269
00:09:22,664 --> 00:09:23,865
I'm gonna kick your ass, bro!

270
00:09:23,932 --> 00:09:24,932
Leave us alone.

271
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,500
I have to defend your honor.

272
00:09:26,568 --> 00:09:27,935
Please stop!

273
00:09:28,003 --> 00:09:29,170
Mac, get my back, dude.

274
00:09:29,238 --> 00:09:30,738
I'm here, buddy.

275
00:09:32,207 --> 00:09:33,608
Goddamn it!

276
00:09:33,675 --> 00:09:36,077
I got milk all over me!

277
00:09:36,144 --> 00:09:39,413
You are insane.

278
00:09:39,481 --> 00:09:41,782
Insanely masculine.

279
00:09:41,850 --> 00:09:45,720
It was Artemis that took
advantage of you, because she

280
00:09:45,787 --> 00:09:47,822
was trying to make me jealous.

281
00:09:47,890 --> 00:09:52,226
After you broke free, you wandered off
muttering something about the costume

282
00:09:52,294 --> 00:09:53,494
being too sexy.

283
00:09:53,562 --> 00:09:54,662
Not from you!

284
00:09:54,730 --> 00:09:56,597
It's the stupid sexy costume.

285
00:09:56,665 --> 00:09:57,965
Oh, shit.

286
00:09:58,033 --> 00:10:01,569
Somebody please tell me Frank's
memory is not correct.

287
00:10:07,805 --> 00:10:09,540
Knock, knock, dick faces.

288
00:10:09,608 --> 00:10:11,875
Artie, thanks for coming so quick.

289
00:10:11,943 --> 00:10:14,878
Listen, we're trying to piece together
a night, and we need some guidance.

290
00:10:14,946 --> 00:10:16,013
I don't remember that night.

291
00:10:16,081 --> 00:10:18,015
I didn't tell you which night yet.

292
00:10:18,083 --> 00:10:20,117
I don't remember most evenings.

293
00:10:20,185 --> 00:10:22,219
You can try me, but I will
not promise you anything.

294
00:10:22,287 --> 00:10:23,220
Last Halloween.

295
00:10:23,288 --> 00:10:24,221
Oh, Halloween.

296
00:10:24,289 --> 00:10:25,222
Anything ring a bell?

297
00:10:25,290 --> 00:10:26,223
That was quite a night.

298
00:10:26,291 --> 00:10:28,959
I suppose I do recall a
few bits and pieces.

299
00:10:29,027 --> 00:10:30,094
What happened?

300
00:10:30,161 --> 00:10:31,095
Spill.

301
00:10:31,162 --> 00:10:33,564
Well, I was angry at you
because of an incident that

302
00:10:33,632 --> 00:10:36,700
happened a few weeks before where you and
I were in the Dumpster behind Wendy's.

303
00:10:36,768 --> 00:10:39,069
I incorporated a hamburger bun
in a way that he found very...

304
00:10:39,137 --> 00:10:41,019
This is not the part that we...
why does everybody think

305
00:10:41,139 --> 00:10:44,074
that we want to know about... Because
it's really interesting and innovative,

306
00:10:44,142 --> 00:10:46,076
and I thought maybe you'd
want some lessons.

307
00:10:46,144 --> 00:10:47,311
Did you make out with me?

308
00:10:47,379 --> 00:10:48,312
I sure did.

309
00:10:48,380 --> 00:10:49,413
And it worked like a charm.

310
00:10:49,481 --> 00:10:51,615
I had Frank all to myself for
a month straight after that.

311
00:10:51,683 --> 00:10:53,617
All right, let's get
back to Halloween.

312
00:10:53,685 --> 00:10:55,619
Anything else that
happened that night?

313
00:10:55,687 --> 00:10:57,221
Like Deandra getting pregnant?

314
00:10:57,288 --> 00:10:59,056
Oh, well, that makes sense.

315
00:10:59,124 --> 00:11:01,892
Mac slept with her at the party.

316
00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:03,260
What?

317
00:11:03,328 --> 00:11:04,328
What are you talking about?

318
00:11:04,396 --> 00:11:06,964
I'm talking about the sounds
of hot, passionate lovemaking

319
00:11:07,032 --> 00:11:10,501
that was coming from the bathroom that
I had heard with my own two ear balls.

320
00:11:10,568 --> 00:11:14,338
After the fight and the kiss,
Mac had blood all over his

321
00:11:14,406 --> 00:11:17,174
knuckles and went to the
bathroom to wash it off.

322
00:11:17,242 --> 00:11:19,743
Dee was incensed that her
costume was covered in milk, so

323
00:11:19,811 --> 00:11:22,913
she went to the bathroom
to clean herself up.

324
00:11:22,981 --> 00:11:24,248
But the line for the ladies'

325
00:11:24,315 --> 00:11:27,384
room was too long, so she
went to the men's room.

326
00:11:27,452 --> 00:11:30,120
Frank started to apologize to
me, and after a few minutes, we

327
00:11:30,188 --> 00:11:32,823
decided to have makeup
sex in the men's room.

328
00:11:32,891 --> 00:11:36,326
But the door was locked and I heard the
passionate, unmistakable sounds of

329
00:11:36,394 --> 00:11:38,095
lovemaking coming from inside.

330
00:11:38,163 --> 00:11:41,380
Mac was making love to Sweet Dee
in the bathroom, so Frank and I

331
00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:43,774
had to sneak outside to my station wagon

332
00:11:43,894 --> 00:11:45,463
where we gave each other handjobs.

333
00:11:47,005 --> 00:11:48,439
Well, there you have it.

334
00:11:48,506 --> 00:11:50,007
Mac's the dad.

335
00:11:50,075 --> 00:11:51,542
Mac's the dad!

336
00:11:51,609 --> 00:11:52,676
Do it with me.

337
00:11:52,744 --> 00:11:53,711
Mac's the dad!

338
00:11:53,778 --> 00:11:56,280
No, I'm not the...
I'm not the dad, okay, Charlie?

339
00:11:56,347 --> 00:11:57,815
Just trust me on that.

340
00:11:57,882 --> 00:11:59,850
Hey, all the evidence is
pointing towards you, pal.

341
00:11:59,918 --> 00:12:03,420
Yes, there were passionate
sounds of lovemaking coming from

342
00:12:03,488 --> 00:12:06,223
the bathroom, but it
wasn't me and Dee.

343
00:12:06,291 --> 00:12:07,257
Damn it.

344
00:12:07,325 --> 00:12:10,661
I was hoping I wouldn't have to admit
this, but I guess I have to tell you.

345
00:12:11,730 --> 00:12:12,930
Okay, here it goes.

346
00:12:12,997 --> 00:12:16,100
I was in the back of the bar
when the commotion began, and I

347
00:12:16,167 --> 00:12:17,668
heard Charlie cry out for help.

348
00:12:17,736 --> 00:12:20,104
He was about to get his ass
kicked by that giant dude.

349
00:12:20,171 --> 00:12:21,472
Mac, help me, please!

350
00:12:21,539 --> 00:12:22,473
I need you!

351
00:12:22,540 --> 00:12:24,475
There was no time for
an ocular pat-down.

352
00:12:24,542 --> 00:12:26,376
Not in my bar, bro.

353
00:12:26,444 --> 00:12:29,546
I secured the area,
and I retained order.

354
00:12:29,614 --> 00:12:30,647
Like I always do.

355
00:12:30,715 --> 00:12:32,583
Everybody chill.

356
00:12:32,650 --> 00:12:34,351
It's cool now.

357
00:12:37,655 --> 00:12:40,157
I had a tremendous amount of
douche bag blood all over my

358
00:12:40,225 --> 00:12:42,693
knuckles, so I went to the
bathroom to clean it off.

359
00:12:42,761 --> 00:12:44,027
That's when Dee came in.

360
00:12:44,095 --> 00:12:45,028
Oh, hey, Dee.

361
00:12:47,031 --> 00:12:50,200
Look, I do not give a shit about
your problems, Dee, okay?

362
00:12:50,268 --> 00:12:52,202
I'm still pumped up from that
ass-whupping I just handed out.

363
00:12:52,270 --> 00:12:53,237
Did you see that?

364
00:12:54,339 --> 00:12:55,773
I don't give a shit, Dee, okay?

365
00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:57,775
I don't know how you're going to
get all that milk off of you.

366
00:12:58,843 --> 00:12:59,777
What is that supposed to mean?

367
00:13:00,845 --> 00:13:01,779
Okay, you know what?

368
00:13:01,846 --> 00:13:02,780
Shoo. Shoo.

369
00:13:02,847 --> 00:13:03,781
Get out of here.

370
00:13:03,848 --> 00:13:04,782
Shoo. Shoo!

371
00:13:04,849 --> 00:13:05,783
Get out of here.

372
00:13:05,850 --> 00:13:06,784
Shoo. Shoo. Shoo.

373
00:13:06,851 --> 00:13:07,785
Come on. Get out.

374
00:13:07,852 --> 00:13:08,786
Get out.

375
00:13:08,853 --> 00:13:10,087
Oh, so annoying.

376
00:13:10,155 --> 00:13:11,255
Whoa!

377
00:13:11,322 --> 00:13:13,857
Margaret, what are you doing here?

378
00:13:13,925 --> 00:13:15,692
God, that is so gross.

379
00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:16,760
You're always doing that.

380
00:13:16,828 --> 00:13:18,762
Are you trying to tell me something?

381
00:13:18,830 --> 00:13:19,763
Ugh.

382
00:13:19,831 --> 00:13:23,500
Is that, like, a sexual thing?

383
00:13:23,568 --> 00:13:26,236
All right, let's do this.

384
00:13:28,039 --> 00:13:29,139
Hold on a second.

385
00:13:29,207 --> 00:13:32,976
So, are you telling us that you had
sex with Margaret McPoyle that night?

386
00:13:33,044 --> 00:13:34,144
Yes.

387
00:13:35,213 --> 00:13:36,146
Yeah.

388
00:13:36,214 --> 00:13:39,149
Well, you know, we got to go confront
the McPoyles about this now.

389
00:13:39,217 --> 00:13:41,151
Yeah, we got to confirm
this whole story.

390
00:13:41,219 --> 00:13:43,153
The only consistent part about
every single one of these

391
00:13:43,221 --> 00:13:45,155
stories is that the McPoyles
were there and they were

392
00:13:45,223 --> 00:13:47,178
drinking milk, which means they
were stone-cold sober that night.

393
00:13:47,298 --> 00:13:48,584
They could probably confirm the truth.

394
00:13:48,978 --> 00:13:51,061
Ah, shit.

395
00:13:57,101 --> 00:14:01,254
Last Halloween, huh?
And Dee's pregnant, huh?

396
00:14:03,082 --> 00:14:05,008
I remember that night well.

397
00:14:05,076 --> 00:14:07,411
As do I. Quite well.

398
00:14:07,478 --> 00:14:10,013
You were all very, very, very drunk.

399
00:14:10,081 --> 00:14:10,914
Quite drunk.

400
00:14:10,982 --> 00:14:12,049
You should feel shame.

401
00:14:12,116 --> 00:14:13,650
Okay, don't give us your
judgements, all right?

402
00:14:13,718 --> 00:14:15,319
Can you please just tell
us what you remember?

403
00:14:15,386 --> 00:14:16,086
Tell us what happened.

404
00:14:16,154 --> 00:14:19,590
Well, we just finished accepting
Charles's terrible, terrible truce.

405
00:14:19,657 --> 00:14:21,058
That's like the whole truce.

406
00:14:21,125 --> 00:14:22,826
You know, that's all there is to it.

407
00:14:22,894 --> 00:14:26,063
And if you guys are cool with it,
then I'll be perfectly cool with it.

408
00:14:26,130 --> 00:14:26,897
Whatever.

409
00:14:26,965 --> 00:14:27,731
Just get out of our face.

410
00:14:27,799 --> 00:14:28,632
Your breath is awful.

411
00:14:28,700 --> 00:14:29,333
Really?

412
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:30,000
Yeah.

413
00:14:30,068 --> 00:14:31,134
All right, well, bump it?

414
00:14:31,202 --> 00:14:32,402
What about this one?

415
00:14:32,470 --> 00:14:33,604
Do you bump?

416
00:14:33,671 --> 00:14:34,905
That's cool.

417
00:14:34,973 --> 00:14:37,174
Cool guys.

418
00:14:37,242 --> 00:14:39,409
Good truce, good truce,
good truce, good truce.

419
00:14:39,477 --> 00:14:40,510
Ah, hey, Dee.

420
00:14:40,578 --> 00:14:41,712
Shut up.

421
00:14:41,779 --> 00:14:43,814
Yep, yep.

422
00:14:43,882 --> 00:14:45,949
Uh, hello, hello, hello, hello.

423
00:14:46,017 --> 00:14:49,586
I see you received my invitation.

424
00:14:49,654 --> 00:14:50,988
Sorry, do I know you?

425
00:14:51,055 --> 00:14:52,055
Who's this jerk?

426
00:14:52,123 --> 00:14:53,891
Uh, this is my boyfriend.

427
00:14:53,958 --> 00:14:54,825
What the hell?

428
00:14:54,893 --> 00:14:55,893
Whoa. Time out, buddy.

429
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:56,894
What's going on here?

430
00:14:56,961 --> 00:14:58,428
The lady's taken, buddy.

431
00:14:58,496 --> 00:14:59,930
Who are you?

432
00:14:59,998 --> 00:15:01,765
You want to get your ass kicked?

433
00:15:01,833 --> 00:15:02,666
Leave us alone!

434
00:15:02,734 --> 00:15:04,868
I have to defend your honor!

435
00:15:04,936 --> 00:15:07,704
Mac, get my back!

436
00:15:10,208 --> 00:15:13,577
Goddamnit!
I got milk all over me!

437
00:15:13,645 --> 00:15:15,579
Viggio Morgenstein!

438
00:15:17,139 --> 00:15:18,815
Hey.

439
00:15:18,883 --> 00:15:22,286
I'm insanely high on mescaline.

440
00:15:22,353 --> 00:15:25,322
Are you telling me that
wasn't even the waitress?

441
00:15:25,390 --> 00:15:26,757
Not at all.

442
00:15:26,824 --> 00:15:29,526
After the fight, Mac went to
the bathroom to wash that poor

443
00:15:29,594 --> 00:15:31,428
girl's blood off his hands.

444
00:15:31,496 --> 00:15:33,297
And Dee followed.

445
00:15:33,364 --> 00:15:37,734
They were only in there a short moment
together before Dee came back out.

446
00:15:37,802 --> 00:15:40,304
Mac kicked her out of the
bathroom so he could make sweet

447
00:15:40,371 --> 00:15:42,606
love to Margaret in private.

448
00:15:42,674 --> 00:15:46,076
I heard you gave quite a
performance, Macwell.

449
00:15:49,380 --> 00:15:51,715
Mm...

450
00:15:51,783 --> 00:15:57,955
Mm... mmm...
Okay, that's enough, all right?

451
00:15:58,022 --> 00:15:59,156
God, that's your sister.

452
00:15:59,223 --> 00:16:00,524
Yeah.

453
00:16:00,591 --> 00:16:02,500
You know what, just move past it.
Just tell the story, please.

454
00:16:02,994 --> 00:16:04,328
She's still expecting a call.

455
00:16:04,395 --> 00:16:05,595
That's not going to happen.

456
00:16:05,663 --> 00:16:06,797
So just move past it, all right?

457
00:16:06,864 --> 00:16:09,199
You will call her!

458
00:16:09,267 --> 00:16:11,902
Jesus, man, I'm sorry.

459
00:16:11,970 --> 00:16:13,770
Fine, I'll call her.

460
00:16:13,838 --> 00:16:14,932
As I was saying...

461
00:16:15,052 --> 00:16:17,182
Dee came out of the bathroom
in quite a rage.

462
00:16:17,759 --> 00:16:19,321
Stupid costume.

463
00:16:19,441 --> 00:16:21,065
Everybody calling me a bird.

464
00:16:21,679 --> 00:16:24,047
She accosted the girl you
were all ogling that evening.

465
00:16:24,115 --> 00:16:26,783
Hey, you, everybody thinks
you're so hot, huh?

466
00:16:26,851 --> 00:16:28,085
You big hot bird.

467
00:16:28,152 --> 00:16:30,854
Well, I tell you what... you
take it off and switch with me.

468
00:16:30,922 --> 00:16:32,656
What are you talking about?

469
00:16:32,724 --> 00:16:33,924
Me, mine... this is mine now.

470
00:16:33,992 --> 00:16:34,791
Switch it.

471
00:16:34,859 --> 00:16:35,926
Uh, I don't think so.

472
00:16:35,994 --> 00:16:37,427
"Oh, I don't think so."

473
00:16:37,495 --> 00:16:38,695
I didn't ask you, okay?

474
00:16:38,763 --> 00:16:43,000
Listen, all right, number one,
it's a win-win for both of us.

475
00:16:43,067 --> 00:16:45,969
That weird plumber... he's going to leave
you alone for the rest of the night.

476
00:16:46,037 --> 00:16:47,004
That's good, right?

477
00:16:47,071 --> 00:16:49,039
And then the second great thing
for you is I'm not going to beat

478
00:16:49,107 --> 00:16:51,208
the shit out of you, so let's go.

479
00:16:51,275 --> 00:16:54,644
Dee came out of the bathroom in her
new costume feeling quite saucy.

480
00:16:54,712 --> 00:16:55,946
Call me a bird all night.

481
00:16:56,014 --> 00:16:57,681
Making fun, saying names.

482
00:16:57,749 --> 00:17:01,318
Well, let's see who's
sexy now, dickwads.

483
00:17:01,386 --> 00:17:02,919
'Cause I look good.

484
00:17:02,987 --> 00:17:07,657
Dee was clearly on a warpath to prove
to one of you that she was indeed sexy.

485
00:17:07,725 --> 00:17:10,660
And the best way to do that was
to trick one of you two into

486
00:17:10,728 --> 00:17:12,829
making love to her.

487
00:17:12,897 --> 00:17:15,565
Knowing that Charlie was the
weakest and by the far the most

488
00:17:15,633 --> 00:17:19,136
vulnerable, she assumed he would be
the easiest to take advantage of.

489
00:17:19,203 --> 00:17:23,807
And so she took Charlie into the back
office and had her way with him.

490
00:17:26,244 --> 00:17:28,378
You should see the look on your face.

491
00:17:28,446 --> 00:17:30,213
It's good enough to eat.

492
00:17:30,281 --> 00:17:31,515
No. Hold on a second.

493
00:17:31,582 --> 00:17:32,749
That wasn't me.

494
00:17:32,817 --> 00:17:33,683
What?

495
00:17:33,751 --> 00:17:34,518
That wasn't me.

496
00:17:34,585 --> 00:17:35,452
I switched costumes with Dennis.

497
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:37,187
That was Dennis.

498
00:17:37,255 --> 00:17:41,258
So Dennis thought Deandra
was the peacock chick?

499
00:17:41,325 --> 00:17:45,996
And Dee thought that
Dennis was Charlie?

500
00:17:52,470 --> 00:17:57,941
So Dee thinks that I'm the dad,
but, Dennis, you're the dad.

501
00:17:58,009 --> 00:18:00,710
Delightful.

502
00:18:00,778 --> 00:18:03,280
Oh, shit, I'm gonna be sick.

503
00:18:03,347 --> 00:18:04,481
Go, do it.

504
00:18:04,549 --> 00:18:07,084
Feel it. Let it out.

505
00:18:07,151 --> 00:18:09,186
Let's just get... let's
just get out of here.

506
00:18:10,054 --> 00:18:11,988
Don't flush.

507
00:18:13,612 --> 00:18:14,645
Dee!

508
00:18:14,713 --> 00:18:15,580
Deandra!

509
00:18:15,647 --> 00:18:16,447
Dee! Dee!

510
00:18:16,515 --> 00:18:17,529
Deandra!

511
00:18:17,649 --> 00:18:18,282
Yeah!

512
00:18:18,350 --> 00:18:19,149
This is bad.

513
00:18:19,217 --> 00:18:20,565
This is real bad.

514
00:18:20,685 --> 00:18:23,019
You thought you had sex with
Charlie, but it was Dennis

515
00:18:23,087 --> 00:18:24,955
that you went into the back room with.

516
00:18:25,022 --> 00:18:26,156
See?

517
00:18:26,224 --> 00:18:27,290
I had sex with you.

518
00:18:27,358 --> 00:18:29,159
It was sex with me,
it was sex with me.

519
00:18:29,227 --> 00:18:31,127
He threw up the whole
way over here, Dee.

520
00:18:31,195 --> 00:18:33,029
Dennis is the father of that baby.

521
00:18:33,097 --> 00:18:38,216
We got to get you and that monster
that's in your gut down to Mexico ASAP.

522
00:18:38,336 --> 00:18:39,236
Are you kidding me?

523
00:18:39,303 --> 00:18:41,037
I did not have sex with Dennis.

524
00:18:41,105 --> 00:18:42,205
Yes, you did.

525
00:18:42,273 --> 00:18:46,009
All right, look, look, you went
into the back office with him, not me.

526
00:18:46,077 --> 00:18:48,578
You thought it was me because
you wanted sex from me.

527
00:18:48,646 --> 00:18:50,447
But you got sex from Dennis.

528
00:18:50,515 --> 00:18:52,382
Okay, you're saying that
because I went into the back

529
00:18:52,450 --> 00:18:54,951
office alone with Dennis, that
I must have had sex with him?

530
00:18:55,019 --> 00:18:56,553
Gross.

531
00:18:56,621 --> 00:18:58,455
No, that did not happen.

532
00:18:58,523 --> 00:19:00,891
And you guys have been obsessing
about this all night long?

533
00:19:00,958 --> 00:19:02,025
Yes.

534
00:19:02,093 --> 00:19:02,826
Yeah?

535
00:19:02,894 --> 00:19:03,527
Of course.

536
00:19:03,594 --> 00:19:05,228
We were running around trying to
figure out who the father is.

537
00:19:05,296 --> 00:19:06,963
If it's not Dennis, who it is?

538
00:19:07,031 --> 00:19:08,365
It's none of you.

539
00:19:08,432 --> 00:19:09,199
Huh?

540
00:19:09,267 --> 00:19:10,901
No, none of you are the father.

541
00:19:10,968 --> 00:19:12,636
I just told you that because
you were making fun of me for

542
00:19:12,703 --> 00:19:14,471
eating the sandwich, and I
thought it would upset you and

543
00:19:14,539 --> 00:19:16,306
get you going and it did, it worked.

544
00:19:16,374 --> 00:19:18,542
You guys have been obsessing
about this all night.

545
00:19:18,609 --> 00:19:23,013
So, wait, are you absolutely
sure that you and I did not have

546
00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:25,215
sex, and that that's not my...?

547
00:19:25,283 --> 00:19:26,716
Uh, yeah.

548
00:19:28,686 --> 00:19:31,354
Oh!

549
00:19:31,455 --> 00:19:33,290
Whew!

550
00:19:33,357 --> 00:19:37,727
Yeah, but I'll tell you what, I'm not
going to tell you who the father is.

551
00:19:37,795 --> 00:19:39,229
Who gives a shit.

552
00:19:39,297 --> 00:19:41,231
You all give a shit, you just said so.

553
00:19:41,299 --> 00:19:42,165
You were up all night.

554
00:19:42,233 --> 00:19:43,767
You were... you were thinking
about it all night long.

555
00:19:43,834 --> 00:19:45,844
Yeah, but that was before,
when you said it was one of us.

556
00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:47,321
But if it's not one of us, I mean...

557
00:19:47,441 --> 00:19:48,397
Who cares?

558
00:19:48,517 --> 00:19:50,782
Who cares, right?
Yeah, we don't care.

559
00:19:58,391 --> 00:20:00,920
- This close...
- ... man, I really dodged the bullet on that.

560
00:20:02,954 --> 00:20:04,621
Hey, what about the museum?

561
00:20:04,689 --> 00:20:05,655
Yes.

562
00:20:05,723 --> 00:20:06,423
Boom.

563
00:20:06,490 --> 00:20:07,290
Yes, there's still time.

564
00:20:07,358 --> 00:20:08,391
Okay, Dee, we're out of here.

565
00:20:08,459 --> 00:20:09,593
You look like a turkey.

566
00:20:09,660 --> 00:20:13,063
Yeah. Also I would say, I would
say you look like an-an ostrich.

567
00:20:13,130 --> 00:20:13,630
Yes!

568
00:20:13,698 --> 00:20:14,264
Right?

569
00:20:14,332 --> 00:20:16,433
You know, I was... I want to
call her an emu, but I want to

570
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:21,871
save it for, you know...
You are big, fat, flightless bird.

571
00:20:22,907 --> 00:20:27,644
Those are all... Those are all...
Just sort of a general... Whatever.

572
00:20:27,712 --> 00:20:32,400
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