1 00:00:34,245 --> 00:00:35,830 How's this? This look centered? 2 00:00:35,913 --> 00:00:38,582 Uh, no, you gotta move ita little to the left. 3 00:00:38,916 --> 00:00:41,669 All right, here we go. How's that? 4 00:00:41,752 --> 00:00:42,962 No, your other left. 5 00:00:44,213 --> 00:00:46,674 Uh, my other left? I only have one left. 6 00:00:46,757 --> 00:00:49,677 It's just an expression. Just move it to the other direction. 7 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:52,805 What would that expression be for? For someone who has two lefts? 8 00:00:53,097 --> 00:00:56,559 No. No. Just move it the other way. Move it the other way. 9 00:00:56,642 --> 00:00:57,685 Towards your left. 10 00:00:57,768 --> 00:00:58,769 Your left and my left are the same 11 00:00:58,853 --> 00:00:59,854 'cause we're facing the same direction. 12 00:00:59,937 --> 00:01:01,480 We're two different people. We can't have the same left. 13 00:01:01,605 --> 00:01:02,690 It doesn't make sense. 14 00:01:02,773 --> 00:01:03,774 Here we go again. 15 00:01:03,899 --> 00:01:05,109 - Hey-yo! - Yo! 16 00:01:05,192 --> 00:01:07,236 Ow. Well, all right. 17 00:01:07,319 --> 00:01:09,405 Hey, go in the back. We got some more Christmas lights. 18 00:01:09,488 --> 00:01:10,740 - We need some help. - No, we're not helping you. 19 00:01:10,823 --> 00:01:12,324 Come on. It's almost Christmas. 20 00:01:12,408 --> 00:01:14,910 Get into the spirit. Let's put some decorations up. 21 00:01:14,994 --> 00:01:16,579 Whoa. What in the hell is that? 22 00:01:16,662 --> 00:01:19,540 Yeah. You like that? That's an industrial-sized snow blower 23 00:01:19,623 --> 00:01:22,084 we got from some dude on the Internet from the Poconos. 24 00:01:22,168 --> 00:01:23,919 You know how it never snows on Christmas. 25 00:01:24,003 --> 00:01:25,546 We got a backup plan this year. 26 00:01:25,629 --> 00:01:27,965 We're gonna have a white Christmas out in front of the bar. 27 00:01:28,090 --> 00:01:29,467 We're gonna make the snow ourselves. 28 00:01:29,550 --> 00:01:30,968 If you guys love Christmas so much, 29 00:01:31,093 --> 00:01:32,970 why do you always wait until the last possible minute 30 00:01:33,095 --> 00:01:34,388 to put up the Christmas decorations? 31 00:01:34,472 --> 00:01:36,057 It is the day before Christmas. 32 00:01:36,140 --> 00:01:38,350 - That's our tradition. - Yeah, that's what we do. 33 00:01:38,434 --> 00:01:40,061 We drink a lot of eggnog, we pass out. 34 00:01:40,144 --> 00:01:42,646 And then we don't put anything up, so we do it all last minute. 35 00:01:42,730 --> 00:01:45,357 Yeah. Then we wake up Christmas morning and throw rocks at trains. 36 00:01:45,483 --> 00:01:47,568 Why would grown men throw rocks at trains? 37 00:01:47,735 --> 00:01:49,945 Why wouldn't we throw rocks at trains? It's… 38 00:01:50,029 --> 00:01:52,114 It's awesome. It's what you do on Christmas morning. 39 00:01:52,198 --> 00:01:54,283 We've been doing it since we were kids. Look, whatever. 40 00:01:54,366 --> 00:01:55,493 I'm sorry that we love Christmas 41 00:01:55,576 --> 00:01:57,495 and we have awesome traditions and you guys hate Christmas. 42 00:01:57,578 --> 00:01:59,997 Well, they hate Christmas because I always got the best gifts, 43 00:02:00,122 --> 00:02:01,665 and Frank always gave them shitty presents. 44 00:02:01,749 --> 00:02:02,833 Oh. 45 00:02:02,917 --> 00:02:05,169 You think we don't like Christmas 'cause Frank got us shitty presents? 46 00:02:05,252 --> 00:02:06,337 Is that really what you think? 47 00:02:06,420 --> 00:02:07,880 No, Frank didn't buy shitty presents. 48 00:02:07,963 --> 00:02:10,383 Frank bought the most awesome presents in the entire world. 49 00:02:10,466 --> 00:02:11,467 As a matter of fact, he would find out 50 00:02:11,550 --> 00:02:13,135 whatever Christmas presents we wanted that year 51 00:02:13,219 --> 00:02:14,345 and he would buy 'em for himself 52 00:02:14,428 --> 00:02:15,596 - instead of buying 'em for us. - Yeah. 53 00:02:16,263 --> 00:02:17,973 - Really? - Yeah. 54 00:02:18,641 --> 00:02:21,519 That must have been why he wanted me to walkie you guys 55 00:02:21,644 --> 00:02:24,146 when you got to the bar 'cause he was trying to do something 56 00:02:24,230 --> 00:02:25,356 about making your Christmas better. 57 00:02:25,773 --> 00:02:28,109 Yo, uh, Frank, the eagles landed. They're here. 58 00:02:28,192 --> 00:02:30,528 So, uh, over and out. Go ahead. 59 00:02:30,611 --> 00:02:32,446 Tell 'em to go outside. 60 00:02:32,571 --> 00:02:35,199 No. Frank, whatever Christmas presents you bought for yourself, 61 00:02:35,324 --> 00:02:37,451 you can bring 'em in the bar and ruin 'em in front of us in here. 62 00:02:37,535 --> 00:02:39,704 No can do. 63 00:02:39,829 --> 00:02:42,790 It's too big. And, Dennis, 64 00:02:42,873 --> 00:02:45,334 you're really gonna wanna see this. 65 00:02:45,418 --> 00:02:48,671 It's your dream gift. 66 00:02:48,754 --> 00:02:50,965 My dream gift? What does he… 67 00:02:51,090 --> 00:02:53,759 Nah. Oh. No… 68 00:02:54,719 --> 00:02:56,303 Oh, God, no. 69 00:03:12,069 --> 00:03:13,738 God damn it! 70 00:03:14,113 --> 00:03:17,408 Merry Christmas, bitches! 71 00:03:49,774 --> 00:03:51,275 Deandra. 72 00:03:51,609 --> 00:03:53,069 Look at this. 73 00:03:53,402 --> 00:03:57,990 A nice Sergio Giorgini bag. 74 00:03:58,074 --> 00:03:59,617 - You wantee? - I don't want it. 75 00:03:59,784 --> 00:04:03,204 Fake out! It's mine. 76 00:04:03,579 --> 00:04:07,917 And I use it to keep in my cheesy loops 77 00:04:08,125 --> 00:04:12,004 and chocolate-covered malted milk balls. 78 00:04:12,088 --> 00:04:14,590 What is your problem, Frank? Why do you do this to us every year? 79 00:04:14,673 --> 00:04:16,675 I do it to you every year, Deandre, 80 00:04:16,801 --> 00:04:18,552 because you and your brother 81 00:04:18,803 --> 00:04:22,431 never learn the lesson that I try to impart at Christmas time. 82 00:04:22,515 --> 00:04:24,517 - Oh, my God. - And that is, 83 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:26,727 you have to earn what you get. 84 00:04:26,811 --> 00:04:29,230 This principle made me a multimillionaire. 85 00:04:29,438 --> 00:04:32,817 No. No, stealing millions of dollars from your ex-business partner 86 00:04:32,942 --> 00:04:34,610 is what made you a millionaire, Frank. 87 00:04:34,693 --> 00:04:37,446 Ah, Eugene Hamilton was a great man. 88 00:04:37,530 --> 00:04:39,573 Do not speak ill of the dead. 89 00:04:39,657 --> 00:04:42,576 - She's speaking ill of you! - Oh, whatever. 90 00:04:43,369 --> 00:04:46,997 I'm going to burn up the rubber with my Lamborghini. 91 00:04:49,583 --> 00:04:53,504 Oh, I got my nice Sergio Giorgini bag. 92 00:04:53,587 --> 00:04:55,923 Damn son of a bitch! 93 00:04:56,006 --> 00:04:57,800 How could he do this to… He's gone too far this year. 94 00:04:57,883 --> 00:05:00,010 Okay, he's not even our dad anymore and he's still doing this. 95 00:05:00,136 --> 00:05:01,470 I can't take it anymore. 96 00:05:01,554 --> 00:05:04,140 Who puts cheesy snacks and chocolate in a designer bag? 97 00:05:04,223 --> 00:05:06,350 Oh, Dennis, he's gonna ruin the lining. 98 00:05:06,475 --> 00:05:08,144 Okay, well, I'm not even gonna begin to compare 99 00:05:08,227 --> 00:05:10,312 a $250,000 Italian sports car 100 00:05:10,396 --> 00:05:12,064 to a handbag, but I get your point. 101 00:05:12,148 --> 00:05:13,691 This has got to stop. 102 00:05:13,858 --> 00:05:16,610 However, the good news is I think there's a big opportunity in this. 103 00:05:16,694 --> 00:05:18,070 What kind of opportunity? 104 00:05:18,154 --> 00:05:21,532 Well, Frank seems to think that his old business partner's dead. 105 00:05:21,824 --> 00:05:23,367 - He's not dead? - Nope. 106 00:05:23,534 --> 00:05:27,371 And that gives me a very interesting idea. 107 00:05:31,834 --> 00:05:35,171 So, you wanna talk to me about Frank Reynolds. 108 00:05:35,254 --> 00:05:37,089 Yes, we do. See, Mr. Hamilton, 109 00:05:37,173 --> 00:05:39,258 we heard about how Frank dicked you all up and down, 110 00:05:39,341 --> 00:05:41,135 and we thought we'd give you a chance 111 00:05:41,218 --> 00:05:42,261 - to get some payback. - Mmm-hmm. 112 00:05:42,344 --> 00:05:44,764 We thought you might wanna help us because, you see, 113 00:05:44,847 --> 00:05:45,973 Frank thinks you're dead. 114 00:05:46,057 --> 00:05:49,643 Well, I have forgiven Frank. 115 00:05:50,061 --> 00:05:51,979 - What? - Frank? 116 00:05:52,063 --> 00:05:56,317 You see, some years ago, I had a near-death experience, 117 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:58,903 and I… I saw the light, 118 00:05:59,070 --> 00:06:01,155 and I saw the truth 119 00:06:01,739 --> 00:06:04,408 of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 120 00:06:04,617 --> 00:06:06,744 Oh. Uh-oh. 121 00:06:06,911 --> 00:06:11,123 So, I have forgiven everyone whoever did me any harm. 122 00:06:11,207 --> 00:06:14,710 Okay, well, uh, that's cool, because you could probably still help us. 123 00:06:14,794 --> 00:06:16,796 Frank has not found the Lord yet. 124 00:06:16,879 --> 00:06:19,173 No. Frank's gotten nowhere near the Lord. 125 00:06:19,256 --> 00:06:22,051 Yeah, and so, in the spirit of the Lord 126 00:06:22,134 --> 00:06:23,344 - and Christmas… - And God. 127 00:06:23,427 --> 00:06:26,430 And, uh, all that, we wanna do a Christmas Carol type thing 128 00:06:26,514 --> 00:06:28,224 where we show him the error of his ways 129 00:06:28,307 --> 00:06:30,351 through his past, his present and his future. 130 00:06:30,434 --> 00:06:33,646 See, Mr. Hamilton, we feel like if Frank can just understand 131 00:06:33,729 --> 00:06:35,689 what a dick he's been to people in his past 132 00:06:35,773 --> 00:06:38,484 and how he's just gonna probably end up old and alone like yourself, 133 00:06:38,567 --> 00:06:41,737 then maybe he'll be able to make up for some of his past mistakes. 134 00:06:41,821 --> 00:06:44,907 When can I talk to Frank about his salvation? 135 00:06:46,534 --> 00:06:47,827 At the end. 136 00:06:47,910 --> 00:06:49,870 - You can do it at the very, very end. - The very end. 137 00:06:50,037 --> 00:06:51,664 - The very, very end. Yeah. - Yeah. Yeah. 138 00:06:51,747 --> 00:06:55,334 But in the meantime, we need you to be our ghost. 139 00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:01,757 Just being in your childhood room is giving me the Christmas spirit, bro. 140 00:07:01,841 --> 00:07:03,300 Yeah, dude. It's awesome, huh? 141 00:07:03,384 --> 00:07:05,511 It's pretty cool that your mom kept all your stuff, man. 142 00:07:05,636 --> 00:07:08,931 Yeah, dude. I'm telling you, I think I got an Omnibot around here somewhere. 143 00:07:09,014 --> 00:07:10,850 - You remember Omnibot? - Totally. Those were amazing. 144 00:07:10,933 --> 00:07:13,310 Oh, my God. So cool. Oh, check this out, dude. 145 00:07:13,394 --> 00:07:15,229 - Look at that. Karate trophy. - Why do you have a karate trophy? 146 00:07:15,312 --> 00:07:17,231 - I found that in the street one time. - Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. 147 00:07:17,314 --> 00:07:20,234 And… Oh! Captain Caveman! 148 00:07:21,402 --> 00:07:22,987 Hey, remember when we would shave the neighborhood dogs 149 00:07:23,112 --> 00:07:25,239 and glue the fur to our faces and pretend we were him? 150 00:07:25,322 --> 00:07:26,657 Absolutely! And then we would bash away at 'em, 151 00:07:26,782 --> 00:07:28,409 and we'd bash the dogs to pieces. 152 00:07:28,492 --> 00:07:30,911 Yeah! Boom! 'Member that? 153 00:07:30,995 --> 00:07:33,247 - Simon? - Simon. 154 00:07:33,330 --> 00:07:36,250 Dude, this game was my favorite. Do you remember how challenging this was? 155 00:07:36,333 --> 00:07:38,252 Yeah. But, Charlie, don't get lost in that, okay? 156 00:07:38,335 --> 00:07:41,005 I got the first one, bro. 157 00:07:41,088 --> 00:07:43,299 Uh-oh. Ooh. 158 00:07:43,382 --> 00:07:46,260 Ooh! It just threw me a curveball here. Did you catch that? 159 00:07:46,343 --> 00:07:48,137 Uh, it went… 160 00:07:48,220 --> 00:07:49,638 I know, but I don't know what order. 161 00:07:49,722 --> 00:07:52,141 - Which one was… - Which one lit up? 162 00:07:52,224 --> 00:07:53,517 The yellow and the blue both lit up. 163 00:07:53,601 --> 00:07:55,019 Well, then press yellow and blue. 164 00:07:55,144 --> 00:07:56,771 I don't remember which order it happened. 165 00:07:56,854 --> 00:07:59,315 - Oh. Okay. - Yeah. 166 00:07:59,398 --> 00:08:02,568 You got it. You got lucky, though. 167 00:08:02,651 --> 00:08:06,655 Okay, now three happened, and I have no idea which three. 168 00:08:06,739 --> 00:08:09,742 Hey-yo! 169 00:08:09,867 --> 00:08:12,578 - Omnibot, the freaking robot from the… - Omnibot 170 00:08:12,703 --> 00:08:14,288 Dude, we're gonna put a Santa hat on him. 171 00:08:14,372 --> 00:08:16,332 He's gonna serve us drinks and break dance. 172 00:08:16,415 --> 00:08:18,250 - That is awesome, dude! - Yeah, it's awesome. 173 00:08:18,376 --> 00:08:21,295 Now what was he holding here? Is this his, like, instructional video? 174 00:08:21,545 --> 00:08:24,215 "Christmas day, 1985." Oh, shit! 175 00:08:24,382 --> 00:08:26,884 This is a home movie my dad made of Christmas. 176 00:08:26,967 --> 00:08:28,719 - Really? - Oh, yeah. Every Christmas morning, 177 00:08:28,803 --> 00:08:30,721 he would videotape me opening up my presents. 178 00:08:30,805 --> 00:08:32,932 - Toss that shit in, man. - Yeah, man. 179 00:08:33,099 --> 00:08:37,311 Look, son, a video camera. Hmm? 180 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:41,065 Oh, this is something. 181 00:08:41,399 --> 00:08:43,150 Can I open mine now? 182 00:08:43,234 --> 00:08:44,568 No, no, no. Keep your voice down. 183 00:08:44,652 --> 00:08:46,153 Let your mother open hers first, okay? 184 00:08:46,237 --> 00:08:48,739 - Here we go. Here we go. - Mom. 185 00:08:49,949 --> 00:08:51,158 - Let's see. - Let's go, Mom. 186 00:08:51,242 --> 00:08:54,662 - Let's not wait. - Hon, wow! 187 00:08:54,745 --> 00:08:58,624 Cashmere! Beautiful! 188 00:08:58,833 --> 00:09:00,292 Mmm. 189 00:09:00,418 --> 00:09:04,088 - That's gonna look good on you, baby. - Oh, yeah! 190 00:09:04,171 --> 00:09:06,799 - Now can I go? - Uh, not yet, son. 191 00:09:07,174 --> 00:09:09,510 - Let's see what Daddy got. Hmm? - Oh. 192 00:09:12,054 --> 00:09:14,014 I think I know what it is. 193 00:09:14,098 --> 00:09:15,975 Would you look at this? 194 00:09:16,267 --> 00:09:18,185 A brand-new stereo. 195 00:09:18,269 --> 00:09:20,479 Oh! Look at that! 196 00:09:20,563 --> 00:09:22,982 That's gonna be perfect for the living room. 197 00:09:23,107 --> 00:09:25,109 God damn it! Can I goddamn go? 198 00:09:25,192 --> 00:09:26,610 - This is taking forever! - Oh, okay. 199 00:09:26,736 --> 00:09:29,572 Fine, fine, fine, fine. You go. You go. Yeah. 200 00:09:29,947 --> 00:09:33,743 - Okay. Let's see. - It's your turn. Let's see what you got. 201 00:09:35,036 --> 00:09:39,290 A Cabbage Patch Doll! 202 00:09:39,415 --> 00:09:41,625 Yeah, you should… 203 00:09:41,709 --> 00:09:44,170 - You don't have to keep yelling like that. - Who's down there? 204 00:09:45,379 --> 00:09:47,882 - Oh, my God! - Okay. Time to go. Time to go. 205 00:09:47,965 --> 00:09:49,842 Hey, move it along. Yeah, son, get your… 206 00:09:49,925 --> 00:09:51,343 There we go. Open the door. 207 00:09:51,469 --> 00:09:54,346 Get the stereo. Honey, get the stereo. 208 00:09:56,432 --> 00:09:59,143 That was awesome. My dad looks really young, doesn't he? 209 00:09:59,226 --> 00:10:02,313 Dude, what was… What was that? What happened right there? 210 00:10:02,438 --> 00:10:04,982 Huh? What was the family on the stairs? What was that? 211 00:10:05,066 --> 00:10:08,194 That was probably the next family coming in to get their presents. 212 00:10:08,277 --> 00:10:10,029 What are you… What are you talking about? 213 00:10:10,154 --> 00:10:11,864 What was happening there? 214 00:10:11,947 --> 00:10:14,116 That was the Christmas tradition 215 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:16,160 where you go from house to house collecting your presents 216 00:10:16,243 --> 00:10:18,662 and then when the next family comes, you would run. 217 00:10:18,996 --> 00:10:20,998 I'm not aware of this tradition, Mac. 218 00:10:21,123 --> 00:10:24,293 In fact, I think that you were just stealing from that home. 219 00:10:24,377 --> 00:10:28,297 Oh, no. I was taking their presents, but they were taking mine. 220 00:10:28,589 --> 00:10:30,341 Yeah, dude. That's why there were never any presents 221 00:10:30,424 --> 00:10:31,425 at my house when I got back. 222 00:10:31,509 --> 00:10:34,220 The neighbors took them. It's a South Philly tradition, Charlie. 223 00:10:34,303 --> 00:10:36,222 No. Mmm-mmm. That makes no… 224 00:10:36,305 --> 00:10:38,307 People don't do that, dude. That doesn't make any sense. 225 00:10:38,391 --> 00:10:39,392 You're telling me that Christmas morning, 226 00:10:39,517 --> 00:10:41,560 you would not go to your neighbor's house and take their presents? 227 00:10:41,685 --> 00:10:43,396 No! No one does that! 228 00:10:44,230 --> 00:10:46,565 Well, my dad told me that that was the tradition. 229 00:10:46,690 --> 00:10:49,610 And your dad is like a thief and a murderer who eats people, 230 00:10:49,693 --> 00:10:51,278 so he's not really trustworthy. 231 00:10:51,862 --> 00:10:53,072 This is really 232 00:10:53,155 --> 00:10:54,907 - dicking with my Christmas spirit. - Okay, whoa, bro. 233 00:10:55,032 --> 00:10:56,867 I tell you what. I got a plan. Let's go to my house, you know. 234 00:10:56,951 --> 00:10:58,452 You'll see how my mom does it. 235 00:10:58,536 --> 00:10:59,620 We'll get you right back in the Christmas mood. 236 00:10:59,704 --> 00:11:01,539 - All right? - Okay, all right. Okay. 237 00:11:07,211 --> 00:11:10,756 You think… You think these chains are really necessary? 238 00:11:10,881 --> 00:11:12,925 Yeah, they're necessary! It's part of the whole thing. 239 00:11:13,008 --> 00:11:14,760 Yeah, it's part of the look. This is how it's gonna work. 240 00:11:14,885 --> 00:11:16,345 I'm gonna pump this smoke under the door, 241 00:11:16,429 --> 00:11:18,472 and then you blast in there and give Frank a good scare. 242 00:11:18,556 --> 00:11:20,349 Yeah, and remember, he's really gonna believe you're a ghost, 243 00:11:20,433 --> 00:11:21,726 so he's gonna listen to anything you say. 244 00:11:21,809 --> 00:11:22,893 Definitely. Definitely. 245 00:11:22,977 --> 00:11:24,061 You sit him down, you make him watch the videotape. 246 00:11:24,186 --> 00:11:26,731 And that's what's gonna prove how horrible he's been to us all these years. 247 00:11:26,814 --> 00:11:27,857 All right, when you're doing the ghost thing, 248 00:11:27,982 --> 00:11:28,983 you really gotta sell it. 249 00:11:30,192 --> 00:11:31,944 - You know what I mean? - Make it sound real, like a ghost would. 250 00:11:32,069 --> 00:11:33,988 - Yeah, do it up. Do it up. - Okay. 251 00:11:34,405 --> 00:11:37,283 Frank! 252 00:11:38,743 --> 00:11:40,369 Frank! 253 00:11:40,578 --> 00:11:43,372 Frank! 254 00:11:43,706 --> 00:11:45,082 Put some vibrato into it. 255 00:11:45,166 --> 00:11:47,501 Frank! 256 00:11:49,420 --> 00:11:52,840 - Fire! Fire! Fire! We're gonna die! - Frank! 257 00:11:53,090 --> 00:11:54,550 We're all gonna die! We're gonna suffocate! 258 00:11:54,633 --> 00:11:56,761 I gotta get out of here! 259 00:11:56,886 --> 00:11:59,972 - Frank! - Get out! We're gonna die! 260 00:12:00,097 --> 00:12:03,184 Calm down, Frank. Calm down. There's no fire. 261 00:12:03,476 --> 00:12:05,519 - Eugene? - Yes. 262 00:12:05,603 --> 00:12:09,273 - A ghost! Ghost! - No! No, no, no. 263 00:12:09,356 --> 00:12:11,442 - Ghost, ghost! Get out! - No! 264 00:12:11,525 --> 00:12:12,526 No, Frank! 265 00:12:12,610 --> 00:12:14,028 Stop! Stop. 266 00:12:14,111 --> 00:12:15,196 Deandra! Deandra! 267 00:12:15,279 --> 00:12:17,156 Stop it, Frank, you're supposed to listen to the ghost. 268 00:12:17,239 --> 00:12:18,282 No, he's dead! 269 00:12:18,407 --> 00:12:21,827 Calm down, Frank. Go sit on the couch and keep your mouth shut, okay? 270 00:12:22,119 --> 00:12:25,414 Just sit and listen. Thank you. 271 00:12:25,498 --> 00:12:28,959 Now, yes, you're right. Your old business partner is not dead. 272 00:12:29,043 --> 00:12:32,880 But, Mr. Hamilton, do you have something that you would like to say to Frank? 273 00:12:32,963 --> 00:12:36,342 I do. Are you familiar with the forgiving nature 274 00:12:36,467 --> 00:12:39,762 - of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ? - Ooh, ooh, no. Eugene. 275 00:12:39,845 --> 00:12:42,098 At the end. Okay? For the love of God, at the end. 276 00:12:42,181 --> 00:12:43,265 Okay? This is the beginning. 277 00:12:43,349 --> 00:12:44,809 Okay, but if you're gonna bring God into it, 278 00:12:44,892 --> 00:12:47,812 can you do like the Old Testament and the covenant, 279 00:12:47,895 --> 00:12:49,980 and keeping your eyes closed or your face will melt, 280 00:12:50,064 --> 00:12:52,691 and the coins and the fear and the Indiana Jones… 281 00:12:52,817 --> 00:12:55,694 You know what? Just sit on the couch. We'll take it from here. Okay? 282 00:12:55,820 --> 00:12:58,239 - Thank you. - Good job, buddy. Good job. Okay. Um… 283 00:12:58,322 --> 00:13:00,574 - Bust out the video. Let's do the video. - The tape now, right? 284 00:13:00,658 --> 00:13:02,076 What the hell is this? 285 00:13:02,159 --> 00:13:04,578 Welcome to your Christmas past, Frank. 286 00:13:04,662 --> 00:13:05,913 Oh, is this gonna take long? 287 00:13:05,996 --> 00:13:07,957 Because it's cutting into my Countach time. 288 00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:11,085 I was gonna go out and make some modifications to the car. 289 00:13:11,168 --> 00:13:12,586 - Modifications on the… - Yeah. 290 00:13:12,670 --> 00:13:15,005 No, no, no, no, no. You do not make modifications on a Countach. 291 00:13:15,089 --> 00:13:16,340 That car is perfect. 292 00:13:16,465 --> 00:13:18,175 Yeah, but I can't reach the door when it goes up. 293 00:13:18,259 --> 00:13:21,178 I was gonna put a wire rig and then drop the bag. 294 00:13:21,262 --> 00:13:22,555 You are gonna ruin that car, Frank! 295 00:13:22,638 --> 00:13:24,598 - You're gonna ruin it! - Okay. Okay. 296 00:13:24,682 --> 00:13:27,351 We're gonna take you on a journey, like the Christmas Carol, 297 00:13:27,476 --> 00:13:28,894 and you're gonna be a better person 298 00:13:28,978 --> 00:13:30,563 and your life will be enriched and fulfilled, 299 00:13:30,688 --> 00:13:31,731 and just watch the TV. 300 00:13:33,190 --> 00:13:36,068 Okay, Dennis, Deandra, come and get your presents. 301 00:13:36,193 --> 00:13:40,072 - Yes! Yes, presents! - Presents! Presents! 302 00:13:40,239 --> 00:13:42,700 - Christmas, 1986. - Mmm-hmm. 303 00:13:42,825 --> 00:13:45,578 This is where you destroyed Christmas for us forever. 304 00:13:45,703 --> 00:13:47,329 Oh, no, no, no. 305 00:13:47,413 --> 00:13:49,498 Open the biggest one first. That's the one. 306 00:13:49,582 --> 00:13:52,585 Look at that. Yeah. That's for both of you. 307 00:13:52,710 --> 00:13:56,297 Tear it apart. Go on. What's in there? 308 00:14:00,509 --> 00:14:02,428 There's nothing in there. 309 00:14:03,304 --> 00:14:05,389 Fake out! There's nothing in any of 'em! 310 00:14:05,514 --> 00:14:08,017 Now go wake up your pill-head mother. 311 00:14:08,100 --> 00:14:12,563 Aw. Oh, this is bringing back such great memories! 312 00:14:12,688 --> 00:14:15,566 The fake out was the best, right? Right, Eugene? 313 00:14:15,691 --> 00:14:18,486 No! No. Eugene, will you please tell him 314 00:14:18,569 --> 00:14:21,405 what a terrible person he's been for always doing this to us, please? 315 00:14:21,489 --> 00:14:22,823 What are you talking about? 316 00:14:22,907 --> 00:14:25,117 Eugene was the guy who taught me the fake out. 317 00:14:26,077 --> 00:14:29,372 He's right. But I have changed, my good friend. 318 00:14:29,455 --> 00:14:30,623 - Yeah, see? He's changed. - Yeah, that's the point. 319 00:14:30,748 --> 00:14:32,917 That's the point. He changed. And so now it's time for you to change. 320 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,001 Yeah. 321 00:14:34,085 --> 00:14:37,630 They're right. Are you ready to find the loving arms of God? 322 00:14:37,755 --> 00:14:39,590 - God! - Where is your anger? 323 00:14:39,673 --> 00:14:42,301 This is time to get your vengeance, guy. 324 00:14:42,426 --> 00:14:43,594 - Let's all go to church. - No! 325 00:14:43,677 --> 00:14:44,720 No! Church? 326 00:14:44,804 --> 00:14:46,847 - Let's move on to Christmas present. - Yeah. This is… 327 00:14:46,931 --> 00:14:48,849 Let's just continue the journey. All right. Grab your jacket. 328 00:14:48,933 --> 00:14:50,893 - Eugene, up, up, up, up, up. - All right. 329 00:14:50,976 --> 00:14:53,187 - Come on. - Come on, Eugene. Let's go with them. 330 00:14:54,605 --> 00:14:56,982 - All right! - Wow! 331 00:14:57,108 --> 00:14:59,443 Yeah, man! See, this is Christmas, right? 332 00:14:59,527 --> 00:15:01,695 - Yeah, your mom's really into this, huh? - She loves it. Hey, Ma! 333 00:15:01,779 --> 00:15:04,115 - Oh! Oh, you! - Hey! 334 00:15:04,198 --> 00:15:05,408 - Hey! - merry Christmas! 335 00:15:05,491 --> 00:15:07,868 - I'm so excited! It's almost Christmas! - I'm so excited! 336 00:15:07,952 --> 00:15:09,870 - Oh, Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas! 337 00:15:09,954 --> 00:15:12,373 Oh, you brought the vodka. 338 00:15:12,456 --> 00:15:15,126 Glug, glug, glug, glug Christmas time! Christmas time! 339 00:15:15,209 --> 00:15:16,419 Drinkin' on Christmas 340 00:15:16,502 --> 00:15:19,672 Thank you. Well, listen, you guys. Make yourselves at home. 341 00:15:19,797 --> 00:15:21,924 I'll be in the kitchen making gingerbread men 342 00:15:22,007 --> 00:15:23,592 for my gingerbread boys. 343 00:15:23,676 --> 00:15:26,220 - Yeah! Gingerbread men! - All right, man. 344 00:15:26,303 --> 00:15:28,639 - See, dude? Now, this is Christmas, man! - I feel it. I'm back. 345 00:15:28,764 --> 00:15:31,308 Mac is back. You got good tunes, good food on the way. 346 00:15:31,434 --> 00:15:33,936 My mom and I would be excited about the Santas coming over. 347 00:15:34,019 --> 00:15:35,604 - Yeah. Yeah. - This is Christmas, bro! 348 00:15:35,688 --> 00:15:36,731 The… The what? 349 00:15:36,814 --> 00:15:40,151 The Santas that come over on Christmas morning to cheer my mom up. 350 00:15:40,317 --> 00:15:42,445 - The Santas, plural? - Yeah. 351 00:15:42,528 --> 00:15:44,822 - What the hell you talking about? - Oh, dude. 352 00:15:44,905 --> 00:15:47,408 This was, like, the best tradition ever, man. 353 00:15:50,036 --> 00:15:51,829 Every Christmas morning, 354 00:15:51,912 --> 00:15:56,042 I would run to the door and I'd open it, and I'd find the first Santa Claus. 355 00:15:56,417 --> 00:15:57,585 Now, the Santa Claus would come in, 356 00:15:57,668 --> 00:15:59,628 and he'd give me a present, you know, or somethin'. 357 00:15:59,712 --> 00:16:02,089 And then he'd go in the room with my mom, and cheer her up for a while. 358 00:16:05,134 --> 00:16:06,761 And then the doorbell would ring, 359 00:16:06,844 --> 00:16:08,345 and the next Santa Claus would come. 360 00:16:08,471 --> 00:16:10,431 And he'd give me a present or something or other, 361 00:16:10,514 --> 00:16:12,224 and he'd go cheer my mom up for a while. 362 00:16:21,692 --> 00:16:24,361 I didn't always understand the presents, 363 00:16:24,987 --> 00:16:27,281 but I always found a way to have fun with them. 364 00:16:31,494 --> 00:16:33,079 - Wait… - Dude. One year, 365 00:16:33,162 --> 00:16:34,622 Santa even brought one of his elves. 366 00:16:34,705 --> 00:16:37,166 It's like a goddamn sauna up there. 367 00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:38,667 I think it was an elf. 368 00:16:41,170 --> 00:16:43,589 You know what, the memory's kind of blurry for some reason. 369 00:16:43,714 --> 00:16:44,882 Merry Christmas. 370 00:16:46,050 --> 00:16:49,011 You better not pout I'm telling you why 371 00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:51,639 Santa Claus is comin' 372 00:16:51,722 --> 00:16:54,809 He's comin' to town 373 00:17:00,689 --> 00:17:03,275 Ah. Charlie… I… 374 00:17:04,360 --> 00:17:06,529 I hate to break this to you, man, but… 375 00:17:06,612 --> 00:17:09,407 But based on the story that you just told me, 376 00:17:09,657 --> 00:17:11,575 I think your mother was a prostitute. 377 00:17:11,659 --> 00:17:14,745 - What? - Yeah. 378 00:17:14,829 --> 00:17:15,996 Come on, man! 379 00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:18,374 I'm just saying, based on that story that you just told me, 380 00:17:18,541 --> 00:17:20,167 I'm fairly certain that those Santas 381 00:17:20,251 --> 00:17:22,002 were running a train on your mom for money. 382 00:17:22,086 --> 00:17:24,839 No, dude. They would just give my mom money and go in the… 383 00:17:26,382 --> 00:17:27,466 Yeah. 384 00:17:27,550 --> 00:17:29,260 Chew on that for a second. 385 00:17:31,512 --> 00:17:32,888 - Let that settle in. - No, no. 386 00:17:32,972 --> 00:17:34,432 Yes. 387 00:17:34,515 --> 00:17:35,891 - No. - Yes. 388 00:17:35,975 --> 00:17:37,768 - No. - Yes. 389 00:17:37,893 --> 00:17:40,146 - No. - Yes. 390 00:17:40,229 --> 00:17:42,940 - No! No! - Okay, but, no. Just relax. 391 00:17:43,023 --> 00:17:44,859 - Are you okay? - Ma! 392 00:17:44,942 --> 00:17:46,986 Let's get you out of here. Let's get out of here. 393 00:17:47,069 --> 00:17:49,113 - Merry Christmas, Mrs. Kelly! - No! No! 394 00:17:49,196 --> 00:17:51,699 - No! No! - Relax, dude. Jesus, Mary and Joseph! 395 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:54,368 Okay, here we go. 396 00:17:54,452 --> 00:17:55,995 - Come on in, guys. - What? 397 00:17:56,078 --> 00:17:58,456 Why would you take me to my old real estate office? 398 00:17:58,539 --> 00:18:00,958 Well, because, Frank, tonight's the annual Christmas party. 399 00:18:01,042 --> 00:18:03,878 We want to show you how much your ex-employees despise you. 400 00:18:03,961 --> 00:18:05,504 But I haven't worked here in years. 401 00:18:05,588 --> 00:18:07,798 I mean, why is this a Christmas present to me? 402 00:18:07,923 --> 00:18:10,634 It's not a Christmas present, Frank. This is the Christmas present. 403 00:18:10,718 --> 00:18:13,137 Uh, all right, Frank. Here's the plan. 404 00:18:13,220 --> 00:18:14,889 We're gonna hide you somewhere in the office, 405 00:18:14,972 --> 00:18:17,933 so you can hear people talking shit about you, all right? 406 00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:21,520 Oh, that's cool. Oh, I see where you're going with this now. 407 00:18:21,604 --> 00:18:23,647 Sew me into the couch. 408 00:18:23,731 --> 00:18:25,649 Sew you into the couch? What are you saying? 409 00:18:25,733 --> 00:18:28,569 Yeah. That's what I do at home all the time, hide in the couch. 410 00:18:28,652 --> 00:18:29,820 It's a great hiding place. 411 00:18:29,904 --> 00:18:32,406 I catch Charlie pounding off all the time. 412 00:18:32,490 --> 00:18:34,867 "Pounding off"? Where do you get these terms, Frank? 413 00:18:34,992 --> 00:18:36,202 Why do you wanna catch Charlie masturbating? 414 00:18:36,285 --> 00:18:37,286 No, I don't care! 415 00:18:37,370 --> 00:18:40,581 No, let's just hide you in a closet, or under a desk, or something. 416 00:18:40,664 --> 00:18:43,084 Look, you wanna do this Christmas Carol bullshit, you do it my way. 417 00:18:43,167 --> 00:18:44,335 Okay, fine. We'll sew you 418 00:18:44,418 --> 00:18:45,503 - into a couch, Frank. - Okay, right. 419 00:18:45,586 --> 00:18:47,421 Just rip off the back, take out the stuffing, 420 00:18:47,505 --> 00:18:48,923 put me inside and sew it up. 421 00:18:52,009 --> 00:18:57,681 It's the most wonderful time of the year 422 00:18:57,765 --> 00:19:00,684 Excuse me, folks. Hey, happy holidays, huh? 423 00:19:02,645 --> 00:19:05,189 - There we go. How we doing over here? - Uh, not well. 424 00:19:05,314 --> 00:19:07,441 This is ridiculous. People are definitely starting to notice. 425 00:19:07,525 --> 00:19:08,526 Of course they're starting to notice. 426 00:19:08,609 --> 00:19:11,070 There's a grown man crammed inside of a couch for Christ's sakes. 427 00:19:11,153 --> 00:19:12,238 They're gonna notice. 428 00:19:12,363 --> 00:19:13,364 Let's just talk to some people. 429 00:19:13,447 --> 00:19:14,949 How 'bout them right there? Can you grab that guy? 430 00:19:15,032 --> 00:19:16,409 - Hey, you two. - Hey! 431 00:19:16,492 --> 00:19:17,868 - Hey, you two. - Hey. 432 00:19:17,952 --> 00:19:19,829 How we doing at the Christmas party? We having a good time? 433 00:19:19,912 --> 00:19:20,955 - Yes. - It's all right. 434 00:19:21,038 --> 00:19:22,081 Great. Great. 435 00:19:22,164 --> 00:19:24,166 So, uh, Frank Reynolds. 436 00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:25,584 Oh, yeah, we were just talking about him. 437 00:19:25,710 --> 00:19:26,752 - He's the worst, huh? - Right. 438 00:19:26,836 --> 00:19:28,379 Do you… Do you work here? 439 00:19:28,462 --> 00:19:30,089 - Yeah, of course. Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. 440 00:19:30,172 --> 00:19:31,966 - Well, we pop around. - We pop around here. 441 00:19:32,049 --> 00:19:33,509 - We're "consultationists." - For this. 442 00:19:33,592 --> 00:19:35,886 So we consult here. We consult across the street too. 443 00:19:36,011 --> 00:19:37,304 The whole… Across the whole street. 444 00:19:37,388 --> 00:19:38,556 Is there a man in that couch? 445 00:19:39,557 --> 00:19:41,892 What are you saying? A man in a couch? 446 00:19:42,017 --> 00:19:44,103 - Hello! - That's absurd. 447 00:19:44,186 --> 00:19:46,272 I believe there's a man in that couch right there. 448 00:19:46,355 --> 00:19:48,023 There is no man. There's no man! 449 00:19:48,107 --> 00:19:49,442 Say some things about Frank Reynolds. 450 00:19:49,567 --> 00:19:51,527 Say 'em loud, and make sure they're horrible, horrible things, 451 00:19:51,610 --> 00:19:53,070 and then we'll deal with the man in the couch. 452 00:19:53,154 --> 00:19:54,488 Okay, so there is a man in the couch. 453 00:19:54,572 --> 00:19:56,532 All right, just call Frank Reynolds an asshole! 454 00:19:56,615 --> 00:19:57,908 Who is Frank Reynolds? 455 00:19:57,992 --> 00:19:59,326 He's the man in the couch! 456 00:19:59,410 --> 00:20:01,078 Oh, my God! What are you people doing? 457 00:20:01,203 --> 00:20:03,372 Will you just say something about Frank that's horrible! 458 00:20:03,456 --> 00:20:04,498 Call him an asshole! 459 00:20:04,582 --> 00:20:06,500 - Frank Reynolds is an asshole! - Oh, thank you! 460 00:20:07,752 --> 00:20:09,336 Oh, great. Now you've… 461 00:20:13,215 --> 00:20:15,676 Oh, Jesus Christ! 462 00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:16,844 Oh, no. Oh, no! 463 00:20:16,927 --> 00:20:18,387 What is happening? 464 00:20:18,471 --> 00:20:20,139 Can't breathe! 465 00:20:20,222 --> 00:20:21,515 - Too hot! - Why are you naked, Frank? 466 00:20:21,599 --> 00:20:23,476 It's too hot in the couch. 467 00:20:23,601 --> 00:20:25,061 Okay, but did you hear? She called you an asshole. 468 00:20:25,144 --> 00:20:26,687 - She called you an asshole, Frank. - Didn't hear! 469 00:20:27,188 --> 00:20:28,773 No air! No air! 470 00:20:29,148 --> 00:20:31,025 Oh, Jesus! 471 00:20:40,785 --> 00:20:42,620 - Dude, you are amazingly calm right now. - Yeah. 472 00:20:42,703 --> 00:20:44,914 Are you sure you're not gonna suddenly flip out and massacre me? 473 00:20:44,997 --> 00:20:46,999 No. Well, I'm doing two things. 474 00:20:47,083 --> 00:20:49,377 One, I buried it down deep, and two, 475 00:20:49,460 --> 00:20:52,213 I'm deciding I might not believe that that actually happened. 476 00:20:52,296 --> 00:20:54,465 I could be remembering Christmas wrong. You know what I mean? 477 00:20:54,548 --> 00:20:56,592 Now, are you sure this is one of the houses you robbed? 478 00:20:56,675 --> 00:20:58,052 Yeah, dude. This is Ricky Falcone's house. 479 00:20:58,135 --> 00:21:00,096 I distinctly remember getting the Omnibot here. 480 00:21:00,179 --> 00:21:02,139 - Wow. - I always thanked Ricky in school, too. 481 00:21:02,223 --> 00:21:04,016 He never had any idea what I was talking about. 482 00:21:04,100 --> 00:21:05,101 No, he wouldn't know. 483 00:21:05,184 --> 00:21:07,603 Hey-oh! Ricky Falcone! 484 00:21:07,812 --> 00:21:09,105 Hey, buddy. 485 00:21:09,188 --> 00:21:10,815 How you doin', man? Good to see you. 486 00:21:10,898 --> 00:21:12,191 Can I help you? 487 00:21:12,274 --> 00:21:16,404 Uh, well, why don't we have our friend do the talking? 488 00:21:31,001 --> 00:21:32,378 Hello, Ricky. 489 00:21:32,461 --> 00:21:35,589 When you were a little boy, I was stolen from you 490 00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:38,259 on Christmas Day. 491 00:21:38,342 --> 00:21:41,011 It was a big misunderstanding. 492 00:21:41,303 --> 00:21:44,014 I miss you. I love you. 493 00:21:44,098 --> 00:21:46,684 I'm sorry. 494 00:21:50,938 --> 00:21:55,109 So, you stole this from me, and now you're coming back 495 00:21:55,192 --> 00:21:56,527 20 years later to return it to me? 496 00:21:56,861 --> 00:22:00,072 - Ooh. Return? No. - Return it? No. 497 00:22:00,197 --> 00:22:01,198 - No, not exactly. - Yeah. 498 00:22:01,282 --> 00:22:02,616 We didn't think you'd want the robot back, 499 00:22:02,700 --> 00:22:04,076 seeing how as you're an adult and everything now. 500 00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:05,286 You are a grown man. 501 00:22:05,369 --> 00:22:06,746 It was more about the apology, yeah. 502 00:22:06,871 --> 00:22:08,748 - The apology, so… - We're keeping the robot. 503 00:22:08,873 --> 00:22:09,874 All right. Let me get this straight. 504 00:22:09,999 --> 00:22:11,292 You two assholes are coming over here 505 00:22:11,375 --> 00:22:13,044 to show me something that you stole from me, 506 00:22:13,127 --> 00:22:14,295 but you're not giving it back? 507 00:22:15,713 --> 00:22:17,798 Well, at this point, I believe the robot's falling under 508 00:22:17,882 --> 00:22:19,884 - the finders-keepers law of America. - Yeah. 509 00:22:19,967 --> 00:22:21,510 - You didn't find it. You stole it. - Well, hang on a second. 510 00:22:21,594 --> 00:22:22,678 I didn't steal anything. He stole it. 511 00:22:22,762 --> 00:22:23,888 Technically, I am the one that stole it. 512 00:22:23,971 --> 00:22:25,431 It was his family's tradition, going around stealing… 513 00:22:25,514 --> 00:22:27,016 I feel like we're just getting off topic here. 514 00:22:27,099 --> 00:22:28,726 Ricky, obviously, you're in some kind of a rut. 515 00:22:28,809 --> 00:22:31,729 I can tell by your clothes, and you don't look good. 516 00:22:31,812 --> 00:22:32,938 I'm not in a rut. 517 00:22:33,022 --> 00:22:35,191 Listen, bro. Why don't you just take the apology, 518 00:22:35,274 --> 00:22:36,317 stop being so hard on yourself? 519 00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:37,401 It's about forgiveness! 520 00:22:37,485 --> 00:22:38,986 We're trying to get the Christmas spirit, dude! 521 00:22:39,070 --> 00:22:41,447 Where are we with the… 522 00:22:41,530 --> 00:22:43,574 - Some people can't be helped. - That didn't go as planned. 523 00:22:43,657 --> 00:22:45,659 I'm glad he didn't, you know, pound us. 524 00:22:45,743 --> 00:22:47,370 This is a test, dude. We're getting tested. 525 00:22:47,453 --> 00:22:48,871 It's a Christmas spirit kind of a test, 526 00:22:48,954 --> 00:22:50,081 - you know? - Yeah? 527 00:22:50,164 --> 00:22:53,417 We're getting curveballs left and right, with my mom and your folks. 528 00:22:53,501 --> 00:22:55,711 We gotta rise to the occasion, dude. We gotta step up. 529 00:22:55,795 --> 00:22:57,922 - Okay. I got a plan. - I love it. I love it. 530 00:22:58,047 --> 00:22:59,256 - I got a plan. - You're good like that, man. 531 00:22:59,382 --> 00:23:00,591 - Let's go to the mall. - Okay. 532 00:23:00,716 --> 00:23:01,967 Get him the hottest-selling toy this season, 533 00:23:02,051 --> 00:23:03,052 give it to his kids, right? 534 00:23:03,135 --> 00:23:04,136 Oh, my God. 535 00:23:04,261 --> 00:23:05,262 Then he'll forgive us, 536 00:23:05,346 --> 00:23:06,430 and then we can get the Christmas spirit back. 537 00:23:06,555 --> 00:23:07,723 And then everyone gets the Christmas spirit. 538 00:23:07,807 --> 00:23:10,101 And maybe we'll get him new clothes, too, 'cause that dude is in a rut. 539 00:23:10,184 --> 00:23:11,685 All right, which way is the bus stop? 540 00:23:11,769 --> 00:23:13,145 Uh, well, we came this way. 541 00:23:24,198 --> 00:23:27,034 Yo. Mac, check this shit out right here, dude. 542 00:23:27,368 --> 00:23:29,036 I bought Ricky a new shirt, you know? 543 00:23:29,120 --> 00:23:30,579 Maybe he could wear it to, like, a job interview. 544 00:23:30,663 --> 00:23:32,123 It's gonna clean his look up a little bit. 545 00:23:32,206 --> 00:23:33,749 - Get him out of that rut. - Get him out of the rut! 546 00:23:33,833 --> 00:23:35,000 Maybe we should pick him up some face wash, too. 547 00:23:35,084 --> 00:23:36,085 Oh, my God. His skin! 548 00:23:36,168 --> 00:23:37,670 - Did you see that skin? - Terrible. How's it going in here? 549 00:23:37,753 --> 00:23:38,754 You find any good toys? 550 00:23:38,838 --> 00:23:41,132 Not good. No, actually. Let's ask this guy. 551 00:23:41,507 --> 00:23:42,842 Excuse me, sir. Hi. 552 00:23:43,384 --> 00:23:46,887 What is the hottest-selling toy item that you have in this store right now? 553 00:23:46,971 --> 00:23:49,265 Actually, the hottest-selling item right now 554 00:23:49,348 --> 00:23:50,850 is Redman the Robot. 555 00:23:51,350 --> 00:23:52,810 - Are you serious? - Redman the Robot? 556 00:23:52,893 --> 00:23:54,729 - That's what the kids are into? - Shit don't change! 557 00:23:54,812 --> 00:23:56,147 - All right, man! - Shit don't change! 558 00:23:56,230 --> 00:23:58,816 - We'll take one Redman the Robot, please. - We're sold out. 559 00:23:58,899 --> 00:24:01,152 - Uh… - You're sold out? 560 00:24:01,277 --> 00:24:03,237 - Mmm-hmm. - Yeah, but it's Christmas Eve, dude. 561 00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:04,780 You're not gonna sell out on Christmas Eve, right? 562 00:24:04,864 --> 00:24:05,906 There were a lot of people here today. 563 00:24:05,990 --> 00:24:07,450 Yeah, but it's Christmas Eve. 564 00:24:07,533 --> 00:24:08,576 - You would stock up. - Charlie, hang on a second. 565 00:24:08,659 --> 00:24:10,286 - What kind of business model is that? - I get it. I get it. 566 00:24:10,369 --> 00:24:12,705 Just run and go get us one of the special reserve toys 567 00:24:12,788 --> 00:24:14,081 I know you got back there. 568 00:24:14,165 --> 00:24:17,168 Um, I'm being very serious right now. We don't have any. 569 00:24:17,251 --> 00:24:19,503 - If I had… - All right. So, okay. Hold on a second. 570 00:24:19,587 --> 00:24:22,423 You're telling me that if Mike Schmidt were to walk in here right now 571 00:24:22,506 --> 00:24:24,675 and say, "Hey, get me a Redman the Robot," 572 00:24:24,759 --> 00:24:27,428 you'd say, "I'm sorry. We're all out. We're sold out, Mike"? 573 00:24:27,511 --> 00:24:30,431 - Who is Mike Schmidt? - Who's Mike Schmidt? 574 00:24:30,765 --> 00:24:33,476 - Bro, have some respect here, man. - What are you talkin' about? 575 00:24:33,559 --> 00:24:35,644 I don't know who Mike Schmidt is. 576 00:24:35,728 --> 00:24:37,646 - You've never heard of Mike Schmidt? - All right, easy, dude. 577 00:24:37,730 --> 00:24:39,273 - Don't lose your cool. - 12-time all-star, 578 00:24:39,356 --> 00:24:40,983 three-time baseball MVP? 579 00:24:41,067 --> 00:24:43,360 - Maybe he doesn't know… - I don't buy it for one second, dude! 580 00:24:43,444 --> 00:24:44,612 Yeah, but maybe he's never heard… 581 00:24:44,695 --> 00:24:45,821 He's the all-time leading home run hitter. 582 00:24:45,905 --> 00:24:47,531 No, he's not the all-time leading home run hitter. 583 00:24:47,615 --> 00:24:48,616 Well, for white guys he is. 584 00:24:48,699 --> 00:24:49,700 He's not even for white guys. 585 00:24:49,784 --> 00:24:50,785 Babe Ruth's got more than him. 586 00:24:50,868 --> 00:24:52,453 Next you're gonna tell me you don't know who Von Hayes is 587 00:24:52,536 --> 00:24:53,954 or Steve "Bedrock" Bedrosian. 588 00:24:54,038 --> 00:24:56,165 - I don't buy it, bitch! - Maybe he's not a baseball fan. 589 00:24:56,248 --> 00:24:57,833 - He's lying! Go get me one! - Don't lose your cool, man! 590 00:24:57,917 --> 00:24:59,293 He's lying, dude. He's got 'em back there. 591 00:24:59,377 --> 00:25:00,419 Try to keep the Christmas spirit! 592 00:25:00,503 --> 00:25:02,380 Von Hayes walks in here, you got one for Von Hayes? 593 00:25:02,463 --> 00:25:04,757 Dude, nobody knows who Von Hayes is! Man, relax. 594 00:25:07,635 --> 00:25:09,512 - Shit, dude. I'm sorry. - That's okay, man. 595 00:25:09,595 --> 00:25:10,930 - I lost my cool. - Well, I don't know 596 00:25:11,013 --> 00:25:12,014 who doesn't know who Mike Schmidt is. 597 00:25:12,098 --> 00:25:13,349 - Right? It's ridiculous. - That's insane. 598 00:25:13,432 --> 00:25:14,642 Look, let's just be calm, right? 599 00:25:14,725 --> 00:25:15,726 It's a Christmas test. 600 00:25:15,810 --> 00:25:17,144 Another Christmas test. Think of it that way. 601 00:25:17,228 --> 00:25:18,979 - Okay. Charlie? I got a new plan. - Just like that? 602 00:25:19,063 --> 00:25:20,314 - Yeah, dude. - That's so fast. 603 00:25:20,398 --> 00:25:21,732 - I'm firing on all cylinders. - Okay. 604 00:25:21,816 --> 00:25:23,192 - It's a bit of a blessing and a curse. - Let me hear it. 605 00:25:23,275 --> 00:25:25,444 Here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna wait till the mall closes. 606 00:25:25,528 --> 00:25:27,071 - Uh-huh. - We're gonna break into the store, 607 00:25:27,196 --> 00:25:29,407 - steal the robot, give that to Ricky. - No, no, no, dude. 608 00:25:29,490 --> 00:25:30,866 You're stealing on Christmas again, okay? 609 00:25:30,950 --> 00:25:32,660 That's not very Christmas-like. 610 00:25:32,743 --> 00:25:34,286 Shit, dude. It's a vicious cycle. 611 00:25:34,370 --> 00:25:35,871 I feel like my parents really screwed me up. 612 00:25:35,955 --> 00:25:37,164 Yeah, but look at me, right? 613 00:25:37,248 --> 00:25:40,000 - I get curveballs from Mommy, you know? - Yeah. 614 00:25:40,084 --> 00:25:43,671 But I'm standing tall. I'm calm. I got the Christmas… 615 00:25:44,547 --> 00:25:46,132 You better watch out 616 00:25:46,215 --> 00:25:48,592 You better not cry You better not pout 617 00:25:48,676 --> 00:25:50,302 - I'm telling you why - Why 618 00:25:50,386 --> 00:25:51,846 Ho-ho-ho-ho! 619 00:25:51,929 --> 00:25:53,973 Santa Claus is coming to town 620 00:25:54,056 --> 00:25:55,516 It's good. Your mom's gonna like that. 621 00:25:55,766 --> 00:25:58,436 He's making a list, checking it twice 622 00:25:58,519 --> 00:25:59,937 He's gonna find out who's naughty or nice 623 00:26:00,062 --> 00:26:01,522 Charlie, where are you going? 624 00:26:01,605 --> 00:26:03,649 Charlie! What are you doing? 625 00:26:03,733 --> 00:26:05,776 Charlie. What are you doing? 626 00:26:05,860 --> 00:26:08,529 - No! - I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that. 627 00:26:08,612 --> 00:26:10,698 I'm sorry. Excuse me. Excuse me. Sorry. 628 00:26:10,781 --> 00:26:12,450 Merry Christmas. Bye-bye. 629 00:26:12,575 --> 00:26:15,119 - We don't have time for this shit. - Ho-ho-ho-ho! 630 00:26:15,244 --> 00:26:17,913 Well, hello, and merry Christmas. 631 00:26:19,415 --> 00:26:22,376 So, where's your little one? Ooh! 632 00:26:22,460 --> 00:26:25,337 Oh, you're a big boy, aren't you? 633 00:26:25,421 --> 00:26:28,215 Uh, is he retarded? 634 00:26:28,924 --> 00:26:30,384 Yeah. I got this one. 635 00:26:30,468 --> 00:26:34,805 So, son, what would you like for Christmas, huh? 636 00:26:36,557 --> 00:26:37,808 Did you fuck my mom? 637 00:26:39,143 --> 00:26:40,352 What? 638 00:26:41,479 --> 00:26:46,400 Did you fuck my mom? 639 00:26:46,484 --> 00:26:48,736 What do you mean? I, uh, uh… 640 00:26:48,819 --> 00:26:50,404 Did you fuck my mom, Santa Claus? 641 00:26:50,488 --> 00:26:52,406 - Did you fuck my mom? - No. 642 00:26:52,490 --> 00:26:55,451 Did you fuck her? Did you fuck my fucking mom? 643 00:26:55,534 --> 00:26:57,244 Did you fuck my mom, Santa? 644 00:26:57,328 --> 00:27:00,206 - He's biting my neck! - Charlie! 645 00:27:00,331 --> 00:27:01,665 Get him off! He's trying to kill me! 646 00:27:04,627 --> 00:27:06,879 No, no! Did you fuck my mom? 647 00:27:07,004 --> 00:27:10,800 - Did you fuck my mom? - You're gonna kill Santa Claus! 648 00:27:14,845 --> 00:27:16,972 Mommy! 649 00:27:17,348 --> 00:27:19,558 Oh, shit. I'm sorry, kid. 650 00:27:19,642 --> 00:27:21,769 Charlie, we gotta go, dude! Come on, bro! 651 00:27:21,852 --> 00:27:24,772 - Dude, what the fuck are you doing? - Did you fuck my mom? 652 00:27:24,855 --> 00:27:27,858 - Let's get out of here! - Did you fuck my mom? 653 00:27:27,983 --> 00:27:30,361 Did you fuck my mom? Did you fuck my mom? 654 00:27:30,861 --> 00:27:32,279 Santa's been attacked! 655 00:27:50,131 --> 00:27:52,883 You think, when we leave, you could just, uh, 656 00:27:52,967 --> 00:27:55,136 you know, swing by my house and drop me off? 657 00:27:55,219 --> 00:27:57,430 No. No. We don't have time for that shit, all right? 658 00:27:57,555 --> 00:27:59,640 Listen, we're doing the Christmas future. We're doing it now. 659 00:27:59,724 --> 00:28:01,183 - What the hell is this? - You ready? 660 00:28:01,267 --> 00:28:04,937 That is Mom's grave, right? And this, right here? 661 00:28:05,062 --> 00:28:06,731 This is your eternal resting… 662 00:28:06,814 --> 00:28:08,566 Yo, Deandra. That… That is not my future. 663 00:28:08,691 --> 00:28:10,651 I'm not gonna be buried in a grave. 664 00:28:10,735 --> 00:28:12,653 When I'm dead, just throw me in the trash. 665 00:28:12,737 --> 00:28:15,990 - Okay. - You know what? Just change now. Okay? 666 00:28:16,073 --> 00:28:18,492 - It's time for you to change, okay? - It's time for that now. 667 00:28:18,576 --> 00:28:20,369 We did the Christmas past. We did the old man ghost. 668 00:28:20,453 --> 00:28:22,580 - We did the grave thing. - Here we are. 669 00:28:22,705 --> 00:28:24,373 Now it's time for you to change, and give us reparations. 670 00:28:24,457 --> 00:28:26,917 You give us reparations, and cars, and Lamborghinis, 671 00:28:27,001 --> 00:28:28,127 and goddamn money! 672 00:28:28,252 --> 00:28:29,462 - And purses! - You son of a bitch! 673 00:28:29,587 --> 00:28:32,006 Aha! That's what this is all about, right? 674 00:28:32,089 --> 00:28:33,257 Yeah! 675 00:28:33,340 --> 00:28:35,926 You don't give a shit whether I change or not, do you? Huh? 676 00:28:36,010 --> 00:28:37,720 It's all about you… What you want. 677 00:28:37,803 --> 00:28:39,221 Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme! 678 00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:41,766 Well, you're never gonna learn your lesson, Dennis. 679 00:28:41,891 --> 00:28:43,476 You're never gonna learn, Deandra. 680 00:28:43,559 --> 00:28:45,478 - Oh, screw your goddamn lesson! - Yeah? I'm out of here. 681 00:28:45,561 --> 00:28:46,937 Who gives a shit about your lesson? 682 00:28:47,021 --> 00:28:49,106 Just stop ruining Christmas for us! 683 00:28:52,151 --> 00:28:56,030 I didn't think that I would still be involved at this point. 684 00:28:56,530 --> 00:28:57,698 So, 685 00:28:58,282 --> 00:29:01,327 why don't you just take me home? 686 00:29:03,454 --> 00:29:05,289 You know what, Eugene? 687 00:29:05,373 --> 00:29:07,166 You are useless. 688 00:29:07,249 --> 00:29:09,043 You have been an awesome disappointment to us. 689 00:29:09,126 --> 00:29:11,921 You have contributed nothing to any of this, Eugene! 690 00:29:12,004 --> 00:29:14,131 You, yourself, have ruined Christmas! 691 00:29:14,215 --> 00:29:16,175 You didn't let me talk to Frank 692 00:29:16,300 --> 00:29:18,844 about the peace that he would find in the Lord… 693 00:29:19,011 --> 00:29:20,012 No, no, no, no! No! 694 00:29:20,096 --> 00:29:21,347 We don't want to hear about the Lord anymore! 695 00:29:21,430 --> 00:29:22,556 I can't stand it. 696 00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:23,682 I'll shove my fist right in your mouth, I'm sorry. 697 00:29:23,766 --> 00:29:25,309 If you think Jesus, and the Lord are so great, 698 00:29:25,393 --> 00:29:26,894 why don't you have them swing by in their Lamborghinis 699 00:29:26,977 --> 00:29:28,229 - and take your ass home! - Yeah, that's a good idea. 700 00:29:35,653 --> 00:29:37,238 Hey, Mac. 701 00:29:37,321 --> 00:29:38,906 Now, I know things weren't pretty at the mall, 702 00:29:38,989 --> 00:29:41,242 but we have a chance to save Christmas here, dude. 703 00:29:41,325 --> 00:29:43,786 And check it out, we can still get some Christmas spirit, 704 00:29:43,869 --> 00:29:46,706 if we just bring that shirt I bought over to Ricky Falcone. 705 00:29:46,789 --> 00:29:49,291 The shirt. Is this the shirt that you're referring to? 706 00:29:49,375 --> 00:29:51,669 - Yeah! - It's covered in blood, Charlie. 707 00:29:51,752 --> 00:29:54,088 Santa's blood, you goddamn lunatic! 708 00:29:54,171 --> 00:29:56,298 - It's not gonna work, is it? - No, it's not gonna work. 709 00:29:56,382 --> 00:29:58,843 The only way that we're gonna get back the Christmas spirit… 710 00:29:58,926 --> 00:30:01,303 - Is if we get back to the basics. - You're right, man. 711 00:30:01,387 --> 00:30:03,305 We're gonna throw rocks at trains. 712 00:30:03,389 --> 00:30:05,766 There's just no way to get the Christmas spirit anymore, man. 713 00:30:05,850 --> 00:30:08,060 Take the Christmas decorations down, you guys. I am dead serious. 714 00:30:08,144 --> 00:30:09,520 Christmas is a bullshit holiday, 715 00:30:09,603 --> 00:30:11,272 and it is forever banned from Paddy's Irish Pub. 716 00:30:11,355 --> 00:30:12,815 - That's it! - All right, take it easy. 717 00:30:12,898 --> 00:30:14,066 Have a drink. We get it. 718 00:30:14,150 --> 00:30:16,110 - We're starting to feel the same way. - You are? 719 00:30:16,193 --> 00:30:18,195 Yeah. Christmas is just a bunch of bullshit. 720 00:30:18,279 --> 00:30:20,531 You just find out that your dad stole all your presents 721 00:30:20,614 --> 00:30:23,576 and that your mom gets fucked by a series of never-ending Santa Clauses. 722 00:30:23,701 --> 00:30:25,619 Charlie's mom is a prostitute, by the way. 723 00:30:25,703 --> 00:30:27,955 - We don't know that for sure, okay? - We know it for sure. 724 00:30:28,039 --> 00:30:30,458 Let's just move past it, accept it and go. 725 00:30:30,541 --> 00:30:32,001 - I can see that. - I definitely buy that. 726 00:30:32,084 --> 00:30:33,794 - I can see that. - I was thinking the same thing. 727 00:30:33,878 --> 00:30:37,339 Hey, guys. Frank's dead. 728 00:30:37,423 --> 00:30:38,799 What? 729 00:30:39,550 --> 00:30:43,220 Somebody from the hospital. Apparently, Frank was in a car accident. 730 00:30:43,304 --> 00:30:46,932 He's dead. They want us to come and identify his body. 731 00:30:48,142 --> 00:30:49,560 Oh, my God. 732 00:30:52,813 --> 00:30:54,982 This is heavy, man. Really heavy. 733 00:30:55,066 --> 00:30:57,151 I don't know that I'm ready to see his dead body. 734 00:30:57,234 --> 00:30:59,737 Okay, this is his room, you guys. Just brace yourselves. 735 00:30:59,862 --> 00:31:01,989 This could be a little rough. 736 00:31:03,032 --> 00:31:04,325 Yo! 737 00:31:04,408 --> 00:31:06,202 What the hell is this? 738 00:31:06,285 --> 00:31:09,080 Well, I knew you guys would never come to see me, 739 00:31:09,205 --> 00:31:11,165 so I faked my own death. 740 00:31:11,248 --> 00:31:14,001 Really should have seen that one coming, right? 741 00:31:14,085 --> 00:31:15,252 - Yeah. - Really should have seen that coming. 742 00:31:15,336 --> 00:31:16,754 So there was no car accident. 743 00:31:16,837 --> 00:31:19,423 Oh, no, I spun out. Thank God the door was open, 744 00:31:19,507 --> 00:31:21,175 and I was thrown from the car. 745 00:31:21,258 --> 00:31:23,052 And I sprained my ankle. 746 00:31:23,135 --> 00:31:26,222 So you call us down here to show us that you have a sprained ankle? 747 00:31:26,305 --> 00:31:29,308 No, no, no, no. I called you down here to tell you something else. 748 00:31:29,392 --> 00:31:31,310 I had a vision. 749 00:31:32,103 --> 00:31:34,939 I was drivin' out of the cemetery in the Countach. 750 00:31:37,650 --> 00:31:41,362 I just finished my bag of cheesy loops, and malt balls. 751 00:31:41,445 --> 00:31:43,239 I must have hit a patch of ice. 752 00:31:43,322 --> 00:31:45,032 I start swirlin' out of control! 753 00:31:45,116 --> 00:31:46,951 I was thrown from the car. 754 00:31:48,285 --> 00:31:49,745 I must have hit my head on the pavement, 755 00:31:49,829 --> 00:31:51,288 'cause everything went white… 756 00:31:52,289 --> 00:31:55,042 And I saw this magical land. 757 00:31:57,211 --> 00:31:58,879 Whoa, this is freaky! 758 00:31:58,963 --> 00:32:01,465 Oh, hello there, Frank! 759 00:32:01,549 --> 00:32:03,467 Hey, who said that? 760 00:32:04,009 --> 00:32:05,386 Over here! 761 00:32:05,928 --> 00:32:09,515 I heard you've been a grumpy-gussy Christmas grouch. 762 00:32:09,598 --> 00:32:11,100 Yeah? So what? 763 00:32:11,183 --> 00:32:13,394 Well, you need to get the Christmas spirit. 764 00:32:13,477 --> 00:32:15,146 I don't need to listen to this shit. 765 00:32:15,229 --> 00:32:16,689 Where the hell is my Countach? 766 00:32:16,772 --> 00:32:18,065 I'm gettin' outta here. 767 00:32:18,149 --> 00:32:19,650 Coun… Tach? 768 00:32:20,109 --> 00:32:22,194 Yeah, it's a Lamborghini, shit-bird. 769 00:32:22,278 --> 00:32:23,779 You ever heard of one? 770 00:32:28,034 --> 00:32:30,077 What the hell was that, you little green bitch? 771 00:32:30,161 --> 00:32:33,664 Christmas is a time for joy 772 00:32:33,748 --> 00:32:37,668 For every girl and every boy 773 00:32:37,752 --> 00:32:40,713 Rich or poor old or young 774 00:32:40,796 --> 00:32:43,591 The Christmas spirit's in everyone 775 00:32:43,674 --> 00:32:45,384 Fa-la-la-la 776 00:32:45,468 --> 00:32:48,220 But you'll miss out on all the fun 777 00:32:48,345 --> 00:32:52,141 'Cause you're not nice to anyone 778 00:32:52,975 --> 00:32:56,437 A grumpy-gussy Christmas grouch 779 00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:59,648 Who hides out in his couch 780 00:32:59,732 --> 00:33:03,194 Watching his roommate pounding off 781 00:33:04,904 --> 00:33:07,573 Pulling fake outs pulling pranks 782 00:33:07,698 --> 00:33:10,201 Gives your friends the Christmas cranks 783 00:33:12,370 --> 00:33:15,414 And this is how they will react 784 00:33:15,498 --> 00:33:17,249 When they finally crack 785 00:33:18,959 --> 00:33:21,128 They'll rip your arm off at the bone 786 00:33:21,212 --> 00:33:22,922 Eat it like an ice cream cone 787 00:33:23,047 --> 00:33:24,840 And gouge your eyes out with a spoon 788 00:33:24,924 --> 00:33:26,550 Blow them up like two balloons 789 00:33:26,675 --> 00:33:28,052 Keep them close so you can see 790 00:33:28,135 --> 00:33:29,970 As they chain-saw off your knee 791 00:33:30,054 --> 00:33:31,597 Bash your body with a board 792 00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:35,726 And hang you by your spinal cord 793 00:33:37,686 --> 00:33:39,146 Oh, shit. 794 00:33:39,230 --> 00:33:40,856 And then they'll rip you down 795 00:33:40,940 --> 00:33:42,108 So you survive 796 00:33:42,233 --> 00:33:43,734 Grind your legs while you're alive 797 00:33:43,818 --> 00:33:45,236 Throw you to a gator pit 798 00:33:45,319 --> 00:33:46,695 Let them gnaw on you a bit 799 00:33:46,779 --> 00:33:48,155 Pull you out and stab your face 800 00:33:48,239 --> 00:33:50,074 Spray your wounds all full of mace 801 00:33:50,157 --> 00:33:51,325 Now they're really getting brazen 802 00:33:51,409 --> 00:33:56,080 When you're burned by racist singing raisins 803 00:33:56,205 --> 00:33:58,666 Broil that jive turkey! 804 00:33:58,749 --> 00:34:00,292 Yeah, burn his ass off! 805 00:34:04,755 --> 00:34:08,634 But it's not too late to make amends 806 00:34:08,718 --> 00:34:11,095 With your family with your friends 807 00:34:11,178 --> 00:34:15,182 All you really have to do is 808 00:34:15,266 --> 00:34:18,018 Get the spirit Get the Christmas spirit 809 00:34:18,102 --> 00:34:20,938 Get the Christmas spirit 810 00:34:21,021 --> 00:34:23,190 Get the Christmas Spirit 811 00:34:23,274 --> 00:34:25,526 Inside 812 00:34:25,609 --> 00:34:28,779 You 813 00:34:29,155 --> 00:34:30,656 Good-bye, folks! 814 00:34:35,327 --> 00:34:37,955 Why did the elf have no pants on? 815 00:34:38,831 --> 00:34:41,042 I didn't say the elf had no pants on. 816 00:34:41,876 --> 00:34:42,877 Oh. 817 00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:45,337 I might have added something in my brain there at the end. 818 00:34:45,421 --> 00:34:46,672 I've had a very strange day. 819 00:34:46,756 --> 00:34:49,467 The point is, I'm a changed man, 820 00:34:49,550 --> 00:34:52,845 and I want another chance to give you guys 821 00:34:52,928 --> 00:34:56,057 the absolute best Christmas you ever had. 822 00:34:56,140 --> 00:34:57,183 Too bad, jerk! 823 00:34:57,266 --> 00:35:00,019 The only thing your story proves is that you're a demented asshole. 824 00:35:00,102 --> 00:35:02,271 Wait a second, Dee. Wait, wait, wait. 825 00:35:02,354 --> 00:35:04,398 Maybe there is a lesson to be learned in all of this. 826 00:35:04,565 --> 00:35:06,358 The best part of Frank's story 827 00:35:06,442 --> 00:35:09,070 was how the four of us came together as a group 828 00:35:09,153 --> 00:35:11,530 to mercilessly slaughter him. 829 00:35:11,614 --> 00:35:12,698 You see what I'm saying? 830 00:35:12,782 --> 00:35:14,533 And I think that's what Christmas is really all about. 831 00:35:14,658 --> 00:35:17,078 After all, it's the four of us really sticking together. 832 00:35:17,161 --> 00:35:18,371 So wait a second. 833 00:35:18,454 --> 00:35:19,955 What you're saying is maybe, 834 00:35:20,039 --> 00:35:22,958 we've been relying too heavily on our parents to give us a good Christmas. 835 00:35:23,042 --> 00:35:25,753 If we stick together, we can give each other the Christmas spirit. 836 00:35:25,836 --> 00:35:27,171 That's right, guys. I don't think it's too late 837 00:35:27,254 --> 00:35:29,090 for us to give ourselves a great Christmas. 838 00:35:29,173 --> 00:35:30,257 - Really? - Right, yeah. 839 00:35:30,341 --> 00:35:32,426 Okay, I got something I gotta finish. Let's do it together. 840 00:35:32,510 --> 00:35:35,262 - All right! - Let's have a good Christmas! 841 00:35:35,346 --> 00:35:36,555 What about me? 842 00:35:36,639 --> 00:35:38,933 Oh, you go fuck yourself in your fat fuckin' ass. 843 00:35:50,736 --> 00:35:52,154 Hey, you know what, 844 00:35:52,238 --> 00:35:54,323 do you guys think it's too late to get a Christmas tree? 845 00:35:54,407 --> 00:35:57,284 - Yeah, dude, way too late. - I don't care for fir trees anyway. 846 00:35:57,368 --> 00:35:59,245 - What's wrong with 'em? - I don't like the smell. 847 00:35:59,328 --> 00:36:01,205 Yeah, plus they're a fire hazard. There's all that sap. 848 00:36:01,288 --> 00:36:02,456 Yeah, I mean, if you're gonna get a tree, 849 00:36:02,540 --> 00:36:03,666 why not get a tree that does something. 850 00:36:03,749 --> 00:36:05,000 - Like an orange tree. - Yeah. 851 00:36:05,084 --> 00:36:06,877 Where you gonna find an orange tree in Philadelphia? 852 00:36:07,002 --> 00:36:08,379 You know, we could get a bag of oranges! 853 00:36:08,462 --> 00:36:09,630 Dude, now you're thinking! 854 00:36:09,714 --> 00:36:12,341 - And do what? Hang 'em in the bar? - No, bro, it'll be awesome! 855 00:36:12,425 --> 00:36:14,009 We take the oranges, we give 'em to each other as gifts! 856 00:36:14,093 --> 00:36:15,678 That's a terrible gift. I don't want it. 857 00:36:15,761 --> 00:36:17,888 - All right, here we go. - Hmm? 858 00:36:19,682 --> 00:36:22,351 O Holy Night 859 00:36:22,435 --> 00:36:26,439 The stars are brightly shining 860 00:36:26,564 --> 00:36:28,733 It is the night of our dear savior's birth 861 00:36:28,816 --> 00:36:29,817 The hell are you guys doing? 862 00:36:29,900 --> 00:36:31,736 It's 4:00 in the goddamn morning. 863 00:36:31,861 --> 00:36:34,822 Long lay the world in… 864 00:36:34,905 --> 00:36:36,240 Hey! Shut up! 865 00:36:37,491 --> 00:36:38,617 What the hell do you want? 866 00:36:38,701 --> 00:36:40,453 We want to give you some Christmas cheer. 867 00:36:40,536 --> 00:36:42,997 - Oh, and a new shirt! - Yeah! I got you a shirt! 868 00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:45,041 Now, I got a little blood on that, dude, but it's cool. 869 00:36:45,124 --> 00:36:46,542 It's gonna wash out. You're gonna look sharp. 870 00:36:46,625 --> 00:36:48,169 I don't want your stupid shirt. 871 00:36:48,252 --> 00:36:51,922 Ricky, do yourself a favor. Take the shirt, get out of that rut. 872 00:36:52,006 --> 00:36:53,841 Hey! Shut the hell up down there! 873 00:36:53,924 --> 00:36:56,761 - Hey, you shut the hell up up there! - Hey, jerk-off! 874 00:36:56,927 --> 00:36:59,221 - Don't make me come down there! - Come down! See what happens! 875 00:36:59,305 --> 00:37:01,348 I'll bite you right in your neck! Okay, bitch! 876 00:37:01,432 --> 00:37:02,850 Why don't you guys get the hell out of here! 877 00:37:02,933 --> 00:37:04,810 We're trying to give you the Christmas spirit here, dick-hole! 878 00:37:04,894 --> 00:37:06,187 I don't want it! 879 00:37:06,270 --> 00:37:07,813 Nobody wants it, assholes! 880 00:37:07,938 --> 00:37:10,483 - God damn it! God damn you, bitch! - You're gonna get it anyway! 881 00:37:10,566 --> 00:37:11,650 Keep singin'! 882 00:37:11,734 --> 00:37:13,527 Fall on your knees 883 00:37:13,611 --> 00:37:15,196 Here's your blood, bitch! 884 00:37:15,279 --> 00:37:18,449 O hear 885 00:37:18,532 --> 00:37:22,411 The angel voices 886 00:37:22,495 --> 00:37:28,209 O night divine 887 00:37:30,002 --> 00:37:34,215 O night when Christ was born 888 00:37:34,298 --> 00:37:36,133 Man, I knew I shouldn't have parked in front of the hydrant. 889 00:37:36,258 --> 00:37:37,718 I knew it. I did it anyway. 890 00:37:37,802 --> 00:37:38,886 You're gonna get towed every time. 891 00:37:38,969 --> 00:37:40,471 I was gonna say something. I don't know why I didn't. 892 00:37:40,554 --> 00:37:41,722 Who tows on Christmas eve? 893 00:37:41,806 --> 00:37:43,766 - Christmas. - Huh? 894 00:37:43,849 --> 00:37:45,601 It's been Christmas for six hours, you dumb shithead. 895 00:37:45,684 --> 00:37:47,395 I don't even give a shit. It doesn't matter. 896 00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:49,188 Let's just get blackout drunk, 897 00:37:49,313 --> 00:37:50,648 and forget about this entire experience. 898 00:37:50,731 --> 00:37:54,235 - Aah! This is the worst Christmas ever! - Oh, yeah, by far. 899 00:37:54,318 --> 00:37:55,653 Oh, it's a beauty. 900 00:37:57,863 --> 00:38:00,449 - Surprise! - Surprise! 901 00:38:00,533 --> 00:38:02,618 Holy shit! You put all the decorations up! 902 00:38:02,702 --> 00:38:03,869 Yes, we did. 903 00:38:04,161 --> 00:38:06,622 All right, all right. What's going on here, Frank? 904 00:38:06,706 --> 00:38:09,417 Dennis, I told you in the hospital I was a changed man. 905 00:38:09,500 --> 00:38:12,586 Right after I left, I went to see my old business partner, Eugene. 906 00:38:12,670 --> 00:38:15,381 We made up, and we came in, and we did all this. 907 00:38:15,464 --> 00:38:16,757 Your old business partner? 908 00:38:16,841 --> 00:38:18,384 - The "scumbag" Eugene? - Yeah. 909 00:38:18,467 --> 00:38:20,177 He's not a scumbag anymore. 910 00:38:20,261 --> 00:38:22,596 He's a changed man just like me, Charlie. Go ahead. 911 00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:24,598 Go on and look at all that stuff. 912 00:38:24,682 --> 00:38:26,100 Are all these presents for us? 913 00:38:26,183 --> 00:38:27,768 Yep. They're all for you. 914 00:38:28,310 --> 00:38:29,854 Fake out? 915 00:38:29,937 --> 00:38:32,064 No. No fake outs. That's yours, hon. 916 00:38:32,148 --> 00:38:34,191 And I'm gonna pay for the dry-cleaning 917 00:38:34,275 --> 00:38:36,193 for the cheesy loops and malt balls. 918 00:38:37,236 --> 00:38:38,404 Redman the Robot! 919 00:38:38,529 --> 00:38:41,365 You got me Redman the Robot! Redman the Robot! 920 00:38:41,449 --> 00:38:42,575 We tried to buy it in the store, 921 00:38:42,700 --> 00:38:44,285 and the guy said it was all sold out! 922 00:38:44,368 --> 00:38:46,871 We wanted to buy one for Ricky Falcone, but it was all sold out! 923 00:38:48,289 --> 00:38:50,249 I got the last one. I bought the last one! 924 00:38:50,332 --> 00:38:52,543 Should we give it to Ricky Falcone? 925 00:38:52,626 --> 00:38:55,755 No, let's keep it. 926 00:38:55,838 --> 00:38:57,757 - Whoo! - Dennis. 927 00:38:57,840 --> 00:38:59,800 - What? - For you. 928 00:38:59,884 --> 00:39:01,343 What do you mean? 929 00:39:01,427 --> 00:39:02,720 This is yours. 930 00:39:03,012 --> 00:39:05,222 - Read it. - This is a Lamborghini. 931 00:39:05,306 --> 00:39:06,807 Yeah. Countach. It's for you. 932 00:39:06,891 --> 00:39:08,017 Don't mess with me, man. 933 00:39:08,100 --> 00:39:09,518 No, honest. It's out in the alleyway. 934 00:39:09,602 --> 00:39:12,354 It's in the alley right now? It's for you, son. 935 00:39:15,733 --> 00:39:18,527 Oh, my God. This is amazing! 936 00:39:18,611 --> 00:39:21,030 I feel so good doing this. It's, like, scary! 937 00:39:21,113 --> 00:39:23,908 Guys! That's… That's my dream car! 938 00:39:23,991 --> 00:39:25,659 - You're giving me the Countach? - Yeah. 939 00:39:25,743 --> 00:39:29,330 - Oh, my God. That's amazing! - Look at the look on his face. 940 00:39:29,413 --> 00:39:31,665 This is awesome! This is an awesome Christmas, Frank! 941 00:39:31,749 --> 00:39:33,459 I just want you guys to know 942 00:39:33,542 --> 00:39:36,045 that Eugene and I, guys like us, we can change. 943 00:39:36,253 --> 00:39:37,671 Oh, yeah. Eugene, dude. 944 00:39:37,755 --> 00:39:39,465 Sorry we left you at the graveyard, man. 945 00:39:39,548 --> 00:39:41,509 Oh, yeah, about that, we didn't mean it. 946 00:39:41,592 --> 00:39:45,012 Ah, don't worry about that. 947 00:39:45,096 --> 00:39:47,515 But, in the spirit of Christmas reparations, 948 00:39:47,598 --> 00:39:50,184 I have a little present for you, Frank. 949 00:39:50,267 --> 00:39:52,311 Aw, you didn't have to do that, Euge… 950 00:39:54,647 --> 00:39:56,690 A gun! I love guns! 951 00:39:56,774 --> 00:39:58,859 - I got a gun of my own! - Shut up! 952 00:39:58,943 --> 00:40:01,362 You stole a lot of money from me. 953 00:40:01,445 --> 00:40:03,072 You wrecked my career. 954 00:40:03,572 --> 00:40:07,910 You left me all alone to rot in a shit-hole apartment. 955 00:40:07,993 --> 00:40:10,413 Now it's time for payback! 956 00:40:10,496 --> 00:40:13,874 Now, put all those presents right here in front of me. 957 00:40:13,958 --> 00:40:15,376 - What? - These ones? 958 00:40:15,459 --> 00:40:17,378 - No! Oh, man! - Why us too? Why not just… 959 00:40:17,461 --> 00:40:20,589 - Come on! - Oh, man! I don't even know you, dude. 960 00:40:20,673 --> 00:40:22,967 Put the keys here too. I'm taking the car. 961 00:40:24,802 --> 00:40:28,556 - What happened to all the god stuff? - I thought you had changed. 962 00:40:28,639 --> 00:40:32,017 I'm still a liar, and a thief. 963 00:40:32,101 --> 00:40:34,729 Now, I want to leave you all 964 00:40:34,812 --> 00:40:37,857 with a memory of this wonderful yuletide season. 965 00:40:39,608 --> 00:40:41,277 Ah! How about… 966 00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:43,028 A white Christmas? 967 00:40:45,072 --> 00:40:46,907 Oh, you dumb bastard. That thing is broken. 968 00:40:46,991 --> 00:40:48,784 That ain't gonna work. 969 00:40:48,868 --> 00:40:50,077 Yeah, it's from the '70s, dick. 970 00:40:50,161 --> 00:40:51,287 It's not gonna work. 971 00:40:51,370 --> 00:40:53,372 - Really loud though. - Yeah, are you sure it doesn't work? 972 00:40:53,456 --> 00:40:55,750 Yeah, there's a whole bunch more tweaks we had to do to it. 973 00:40:55,833 --> 00:40:57,501 Plus, you gotta hook it up to a water line… 974 00:40:59,170 --> 00:41:03,716 I'm dreaming 975 00:41:03,799 --> 00:41:09,346 Of a white Christmas 976 00:41:10,431 --> 00:41:17,396 With every Christmas card I write 977 00:41:18,314 --> 00:41:24,195 May your days be merry 978 00:41:24,278 --> 00:41:29,075 And bright 979 00:41:29,158 --> 00:41:36,123 And may all your Christmases 980 00:41:36,832 --> 00:41:40,461 Be white 981 00:41:49,845 --> 00:41:51,430 I feel like that Eugene guy 982 00:41:51,514 --> 00:41:52,681 - was a real prick, huh? - I know, yeah. 983 00:41:52,765 --> 00:41:54,683 Well, Frank always said he was a scumbag. 984 00:41:54,767 --> 00:41:56,477 Yeah, I was impressed with the snow blower though. 985 00:41:56,560 --> 00:41:58,437 Oh, yeah, I'm glad we don't have to return it, you know. 986 00:41:58,521 --> 00:42:00,773 Yeah, I can't wait to blast the whole neighborhood. 987 00:42:00,856 --> 00:42:01,857 Yeah, man. 988 00:42:01,941 --> 00:42:03,025 Oh, here we go. Here we go. 989 00:42:03,109 --> 00:42:04,151 How you guys feeling? You ready to do this? 990 00:42:04,235 --> 00:42:05,403 I don't know what do we do? 991 00:42:05,528 --> 00:42:07,363 Just throw rocks at trains. You're gonna feel better. 992 00:42:07,446 --> 00:42:09,073 - That's it? - That's it! Merry Christmas, everyone! 993 00:42:09,156 --> 00:42:10,574 Here we go! 994 00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:12,451 Yeah! 995 00:42:12,535 --> 00:42:15,162 Jingle bell, jingle bell jingle bell rock 996 00:42:15,246 --> 00:42:16,956 Jingle bells swing and jingle bells ring 997 00:42:17,039 --> 00:42:18,040 Stupid train! 998 00:42:19,375 --> 00:42:21,210 Snowin' and blowin' up 999 00:42:21,293 --> 00:42:22,461 Bushels of fun 1000 00:42:22,545 --> 00:42:23,629 You suck! 1001 00:42:23,713 --> 00:42:26,048 Watch this one! 1002 00:42:27,508 --> 00:42:30,845 Jingle bell, jingle bell jingle bell rock 1003 00:42:30,928 --> 00:42:34,098 Jingle bells chime in jingle bell time 1004 00:42:34,181 --> 00:42:35,891 - Merry Christmas, buddy. - Merry Christmas. 1005 00:42:35,975 --> 00:42:39,520 Dancin' and prancin' in jingle bell square 1006 00:42:39,603 --> 00:42:42,690 In the frosty air 1007 00:42:42,773 --> 00:42:47,319 What a bright time it's the right time 1008 00:42:47,403 --> 00:42:50,698 To rock the night away 1009 00:42:50,781 --> 00:42:55,828 Jingle Bell time is a swell time 1010 00:42:55,911 --> 00:42:59,331 To go glidin' in a one-horse sleigh 1011 00:42:59,415 --> 00:43:03,294 Giddyap, jingle horse pick up your feet 1012 00:43:03,377 --> 00:43:07,715 Jingle around the clock 1013 00:43:07,798 --> 00:43:11,719 Mix and mingle in the jinglin' feet 1014 00:43:11,802 --> 00:43:15,556 That's the jingle bell rock 1015 00:43:15,639 --> 00:43:19,727 Jingle bell, jingle bell jingle bell rock 1016 00:43:19,810 --> 00:43:23,647 Jingle bell chime in jingle bell time 1017 00:43:23,731 --> 00:43:27,359 Dancin' and prancin' in jingle bell square 1018 00:43:28,652 --> 00:43:33,532 To rock the night away…