1
00:00:10,307 --> 00:00:12,329
Burn! Burn! Burn!

2
00:00:12,398 --> 00:00:14,897
Burn! Burn! Burn! Burn! Burn!

3
00:00:14,966 --> 00:00:16,030
Burn! Burn! Burn!

4
00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:18,199
Hey! Burn, burn! Burn!

5
00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:19,727
Yeah, cool.
What are you guys burning?

6
00:00:19,847 --> 00:00:21,481
Bunch of garbage

7
00:00:21,482 --> 00:00:23,034
and burns the tar
that's just taking up space.

8
00:00:23,102 --> 00:00:24,301
No, goddamn it!

9
00:00:24,370 --> 00:00:26,391
Wait, Frank, why are
you burning our photo album pictures?

10
00:00:26,625 --> 00:00:28,189
What do you mean?
Because it's trash.

11
00:00:28,309 --> 00:00:30,484
You kidding me? Oh, my God!

12
00:00:30,553 --> 00:00:32,123
Dude, these are all the pictures

13
00:00:32,243 --> 00:00:34,588
from our Jersey Shore vacations.
You were gonna burn these?

14
00:00:34,656 --> 00:00:35,221
Yeah.

15
00:00:35,290 --> 00:00:36,991
These were, like, the
happiest days of our lives.

16
00:00:37,059 --> 00:00:38,795
Oh, come on, Jersey
Shore sucked.

17
00:00:38,863 --> 00:00:39,862
The Shore didn't suck, Frank.

18
00:00:39,931 --> 00:00:40,763
You sucked, okay?

19
00:00:40,832 --> 00:00:43,266
You just complained the whole time
and ruined it for everyone else.

20
00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:44,834
Yeah, because I had
to do all the work.

21
00:00:44,903 --> 00:00:45,803
I never got to relax.

22
00:00:45,872 --> 00:00:46,971
I would love to
go on a vacation.

23
00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:48,206
Oh, my God, me, too.

24
00:00:48,274 --> 00:00:49,440
I would love to
go on a vacation.

25
00:00:49,509 --> 00:00:51,043
Yeah, but not to the
Jersey Shore, though.

26
00:00:51,112 --> 00:00:52,711
I mean, that place
sounds like a nightmare.

27
00:00:52,780 --> 00:00:54,213
What's wrong with
the Jersey Shore?

28
00:00:54,281 --> 00:00:55,814
Come on.
You've seen that TV show.

29
00:00:55,882 --> 00:00:58,382
It's just a bunch of sweaty
Guidos getting hopped up

30
00:00:58,451 --> 00:01:00,484
on energy drinks and giving
each other diseases.

31
00:01:00,553 --> 00:01:02,419
Yeah, no, the Jersey Shore
is nothing like that.

32
00:01:02,487 --> 00:01:04,890
It's a magical place where
people swim in the ocean and

33
00:01:04,958 --> 00:01:07,728
they get to ride on fun rides and
they get to have their first kiss.

34
00:01:07,797 --> 00:01:08,862
Dude, you would love it.

35
00:01:08,931 --> 00:01:09,764
Well, hang on a second.

36
00:01:09,832 --> 00:01:10,698
I've never seen the ocean.

37
00:01:10,767 --> 00:01:13,702
I could get into that if you guys
want to go down to the Shore.

38
00:01:13,771 --> 00:01:14,236
Aw, yes!

39
00:01:14,305 --> 00:01:14,870
Yes!

40
00:01:14,939 --> 00:01:16,472
We should all go to
the Shore together.

41
00:01:16,541 --> 00:01:17,174
I'll tell you what.

42
00:01:17,242 --> 00:01:19,576
Maybe I'll knock myself out and
we'll head down to the Shore.

43
00:01:19,645 --> 00:01:21,545
Yeah, but I feel like you're
just gonna screw it up if you

44
00:01:21,613 --> 00:01:22,479
try and knock yourself out.

45
00:01:22,548 --> 00:01:24,383
Yeah, you're probably gonna
come to halfway there, and then

46
00:01:24,451 --> 00:01:25,517
complain the rest of the time.

47
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:26,652
Yeah, I'll tell you what.

48
00:01:26,721 --> 00:01:29,221
Why don't I take the rag, I'll
get the chloroform, I'll get you

49
00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:30,623
when you least expect it.

50
00:01:30,693 --> 00:01:31,591
All right, sweet.

51
00:01:31,660 --> 00:01:32,193
Yeah?

52
00:01:32,262 --> 00:01:34,229
Yeah!
Goin' down to the Jersey Shore!

53
00:01:34,298 --> 00:01:35,964
Yeah, going to the Shore, baby!

54
00:01:36,032 --> 00:01:37,865
Now, this ocean,
explain it to me.

55
00:01:37,934 --> 00:01:39,700
It's, like, it goes on forever?

56
00:01:39,769 --> 00:01:41,335
Go to sleep, go to sleep.

57
00:01:42,338 --> 00:01:52,338
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com

58
00:02:08,536 --> 00:02:10,313
So, I woke up, like, halfway
there, and then you just

59
00:02:10,413 --> 00:02:11,758
snuffed me out again, huh, Mac?

60
00:02:11,878 --> 00:02:14,178
Oh, this place turned
into a major shithole.

61
00:02:14,247 --> 00:02:16,892
It does not look exactly the
way I remember it looking.

62
00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:18,678
No, no, it's different,
it's different.

63
00:02:18,747 --> 00:02:21,214
The guy at the front desk said
there was meth lab explosion,

64
00:02:21,283 --> 00:02:22,148
so the hotel burned down.

65
00:02:22,217 --> 00:02:23,249
They had to rebuild it.

66
00:02:23,318 --> 00:02:23,983
Something like that.

67
00:02:24,052 --> 00:02:25,490
There's a smell, too, like...
Don't sweat it, you guys.

68
00:02:25,610 --> 00:02:27,918
Listen, with any luck at all,
we won't be spending any time

69
00:02:28,038 --> 00:02:29,444
here, so just think of
it more like a locker.

70
00:02:29,564 --> 00:02:30,229
Yes!

71
00:02:30,469 --> 00:02:33,067
I'm sorry, is no one gonna
talk about Dee's hair?

72
00:02:33,187 --> 00:02:34,152
Oh, I was waiting to pounce.

73
00:02:34,221 --> 00:02:35,620
I just didn't know
what our cue was.

74
00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:37,589
Yeah, I was waiting for
Dennis to jump on top of it.

75
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:38,857
And then we were gonna slay her.

76
00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:39,424
Yeah.

77
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:40,058
No, no. It's fine.

78
00:02:40,126 --> 00:02:41,859
All the cool girls get their
hair braided at the Shore.

79
00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:43,394
I think she looks like Bo Derek.

80
00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:44,061
Thank you, Dennis.

81
00:02:44,130 --> 00:02:46,697
Mm-hmm. You see, Dee and I have some
very fond memories of the Shore.

82
00:02:46,766 --> 00:02:48,800
We're not gonna have you
sullying those great memories

83
00:02:48,868 --> 00:02:49,801
with all your goddamn insults.

84
00:02:49,869 --> 00:02:50,435
Mm-mm.

85
00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:51,569
Are you drinking sunscreen?

86
00:02:51,638 --> 00:02:52,837
No, no, it's a decoy.

87
00:02:52,906 --> 00:02:55,140
We're drinking tequila out
of sunscreen bottles.

88
00:02:55,208 --> 00:02:58,209
Very strict open container
laws here at the Jersey Shore.

89
00:02:58,278 --> 00:03:01,647
Cheers.

90
00:03:01,715 --> 00:03:04,382
Holy shit!

91
00:03:04,451 --> 00:03:05,684
Is that the ocean?

92
00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:06,318
Yep.

93
00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:07,820
Yeah, buddy, that's the ocean.

94
00:03:07,889 --> 00:03:10,189
What's on the other
side of it there?

95
00:03:10,258 --> 00:03:11,090
Europe.

96
00:03:11,159 --> 00:03:11,825
Yeah.

97
00:03:11,893 --> 00:03:13,159
Now, how long would it take...?

98
00:03:13,228 --> 00:03:14,527
Do not try and swim to Europe.

99
00:03:14,596 --> 00:03:15,061
No.

100
00:03:15,130 --> 00:03:15,962
Don't swim to Europe?

101
00:03:16,031 --> 00:03:16,529
Do not.

102
00:03:16,598 --> 00:03:18,699
As a matter of fact, why don't
you stick with Dee and I

103
00:03:18,767 --> 00:03:21,101
because we can show you the
ropes here at the Jersey Shore.

104
00:03:21,170 --> 00:03:23,404
All right, everybody, you
know what time it is!

105
00:03:23,473 --> 00:03:25,239
Let's go strut the beach.

106
00:03:25,308 --> 00:03:26,374
Not strutting shit.

107
00:03:26,442 --> 00:03:27,508
No beach strutting for me.

108
00:03:27,577 --> 00:03:29,377
I'm gonna find a place
to relax and unwind.

109
00:03:29,446 --> 00:03:30,245
Frank, I'm with you.

110
00:03:30,314 --> 00:03:31,179
Yeah.

111
00:03:31,248 --> 00:03:32,747
Why don't you grab
us some booze?

112
00:03:32,816 --> 00:03:35,116
I'll go down to the beach
and get us some prime real

113
00:03:35,184 --> 00:03:36,918
estate before those gorilla
dickheads get down there.

114
00:03:36,986 --> 00:03:38,953
Yeah. Gonna relax.

115
00:03:39,021 --> 00:03:40,020
Let's do it!

116
00:03:40,089 --> 00:03:41,788
Let's get out of here.

117
00:03:41,857 --> 00:03:45,525
Oh, man, this ocean breeze
feels so good on my scalp.

118
00:03:45,594 --> 00:03:46,459
Yeah, it feels awesome.

119
00:03:46,528 --> 00:03:48,361
The sand feels good
beneath my feet.

120
00:03:48,430 --> 00:03:48,895
Uh-huh.

121
00:03:48,964 --> 00:03:51,998
I'm a little curious as to where
all the people are, though.

122
00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:52,732
No idea, no idea.

123
00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,700
Didn't want to say anything,
didn't want to ruin the mood,

124
00:03:54,769 --> 00:03:55,635
but where are the people?

125
00:03:55,704 --> 00:03:57,337
I'm seeing a lot more
dogs than people, right?

126
00:03:57,406 --> 00:03:59,438
There are a shit-ton of
dogs out here, I tell ya.

127
00:03:59,507 --> 00:04:00,373
Where are their masters?

128
00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:01,908
I don't think these
dogs have masters.

129
00:04:01,976 --> 00:04:03,843
I think these dogs play
by their own rules.

130
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:05,778
Well, clearly, the action
has shifted elsewhere.

131
00:04:05,847 --> 00:04:07,079
Want to go to the boardwalk?

132
00:04:07,148 --> 00:04:09,449
Hey, let's go to the boardwalk!

133
00:04:09,518 --> 00:04:10,083
Yes!

134
00:04:10,152 --> 00:04:11,117
Yeah! Hey, Charlie!

135
00:04:11,186 --> 00:04:11,751
Charlie!

136
00:04:11,820 --> 00:04:12,752
Come here!

137
00:04:13,488 --> 00:04:16,089
Dude, oh, my God, this
place is amazing!

138
00:04:16,157 --> 00:04:16,789
Right?

139
00:04:16,858 --> 00:04:17,456
Yeah!

140
00:04:17,525 --> 00:04:18,591
And the sun block drink?

141
00:04:18,660 --> 00:04:19,893
Nice, guys.

142
00:04:19,961 --> 00:04:20,727
They're really good.

143
00:04:20,795 --> 00:04:21,461
They're really good.

144
00:04:21,529 --> 00:04:24,630
Thing is, I didn't make you one.

145
00:04:24,699 --> 00:04:26,632
Oh! Jesus Chris, Charlie!

146
00:04:26,701 --> 00:04:28,100
You're drinking sun block.

147
00:04:28,169 --> 00:04:30,302
It's good. It gets you,
it gets you all.

148
00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:32,905
Yeah, you're ingesting viscous chemicals,
and they're getting you high.

149
00:04:32,974 --> 00:04:33,439
Doesn't matter.

150
00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:34,039
Doesn't matter.

151
00:04:34,108 --> 00:04:36,042
Okay, we're going to the boardwalk.
What do you say?

152
00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:36,675
Oh, really?

153
00:04:36,744 --> 00:04:37,609
You want to leave?

154
00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:38,210
Yeah.

155
00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:41,080
I feel like we're just scratching the
surface of all the cool shit out here.

156
00:04:41,148 --> 00:04:42,181
What cool shit?

157
00:04:42,250 --> 00:04:46,018
Well, the sea specimens, the
stray dogs, the trash that

158
00:04:46,087 --> 00:04:47,653
floated over from Europe.

159
00:04:47,722 --> 00:04:50,990
Yeah, but we didn't come here to
play with stray dogs and trash, man.

160
00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:52,925
We came here to soak
up the culture.

161
00:04:52,994 --> 00:04:55,161
And the boardwalk is the
cultural center of the Jersey

162
00:04:55,230 --> 00:04:56,262
Shore, so let's go there.

163
00:04:56,331 --> 00:04:57,130
Come on, man!

164
00:04:57,198 --> 00:04:58,198
Yeah, all right.

165
00:04:58,266 --> 00:05:00,533
Goin' to the boardwalk.

166
00:05:08,376 --> 00:05:13,147
Yo, Mac, you see that sign
there that says "Taxic spill"?

167
00:05:13,216 --> 00:05:14,248
Yeah.

168
00:05:14,317 --> 00:05:15,383
What's that?

169
00:05:15,452 --> 00:05:16,217
Disregard that, Frank.

170
00:05:16,286 --> 00:05:17,853
It's a bunch of
liberal bullshit.

171
00:05:17,922 --> 00:05:18,620
Right, right.

172
00:05:18,689 --> 00:05:19,822
This is a nice spot.

173
00:05:19,890 --> 00:05:21,190
Yeah, yeah. Whoa!

174
00:05:21,258 --> 00:05:22,424
What's that?

175
00:05:22,493 --> 00:05:24,159
You were supposed to get booze.

176
00:05:24,228 --> 00:05:26,795
Oh, this is ham soaked in rum.

177
00:05:26,864 --> 00:05:28,631
It is loaded with booze.

178
00:05:28,700 --> 00:05:31,667
Goddamn it, Frank,
eating your drinks?

179
00:05:31,735 --> 00:05:32,834
That is genius!

180
00:05:32,903 --> 00:05:33,602
Ow!

181
00:05:33,670 --> 00:05:34,402
What?

182
00:05:34,471 --> 00:05:37,471
What the... What the...
What is that?

183
00:05:37,540 --> 00:05:38,406
Oh, yeah.

184
00:05:38,475 --> 00:05:39,740
I got stuck with a needle.

185
00:05:39,809 --> 00:05:40,874
Yeah, that's a syringe.

186
00:05:40,943 --> 00:05:42,909
Be careful. They are everywhere.

187
00:05:42,978 --> 00:05:45,111
The beach is full of syringes.

188
00:05:45,180 --> 00:05:45,878
Why is that?

189
00:05:45,947 --> 00:05:48,080
Well, we're in the steroid
capital of the world, Frank.

190
00:05:48,149 --> 00:05:51,516
To be honest with you, as a man
who works very hard to maintain

191
00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:54,820
a certain level of physical excellence,
I find shortcuts insulting.

192
00:05:54,889 --> 00:05:56,922
Now give me a piece of ham now.

193
00:05:56,991 --> 00:05:57,990
Hey, check that out.

194
00:05:58,059 --> 00:06:00,326
What the hell's a
dog doing here?

195
00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:01,628
Hey, hey, get out of here!

196
00:06:01,696 --> 00:06:02,629
Get out of here!

197
00:06:02,697 --> 00:06:03,363
Get out of here!

198
00:06:03,431 --> 00:06:04,731
Goddamn dogs, I'm
telling you, dude.

199
00:06:04,799 --> 00:06:06,199
The were lurking before,
now they're swarming.

200
00:06:06,268 --> 00:06:09,469
I'm not sharing my
ham with no dogs.

201
00:06:09,538 --> 00:06:12,939
I got a great idea.

202
00:06:13,008 --> 00:06:19,646
Hey, warm sun, cool ocean breezes,
getting rip-shit on ham.

203
00:06:19,715 --> 00:06:22,249
Might you say
we're getting "hammered."

204
00:06:22,318 --> 00:06:25,953
Oh, nice one.

205
00:06:26,021 --> 00:06:27,087
This is a great idea, Frank.

206
00:06:27,156 --> 00:06:28,255
Great idea.

207
00:06:28,324 --> 00:06:30,090
This is 90-proof ham.

208
00:06:30,159 --> 00:06:32,392
Screw you mutts!

209
00:06:36,098 --> 00:06:38,165
Get out of here, you bitch!

210
00:06:38,234 --> 00:06:39,133
Come and get it.

211
00:06:39,201 --> 00:06:39,934
Stupid dogs.

212
00:06:40,002 --> 00:06:41,869
We outsmarted those dogs, Frank.

213
00:06:43,306 --> 00:06:45,307
Dude, this is the
boardwalk, man.

214
00:06:45,376 --> 00:06:46,275
This is amazing.

215
00:06:46,344 --> 00:06:48,611
Yeah, it's a little bit more desolate
than I was hoping it would be, but...

216
00:06:48,679 --> 00:06:49,378
Yeah, but that's okay.

217
00:06:49,447 --> 00:06:50,246
It's still really great.

218
00:06:50,314 --> 00:06:53,682
Oh, Charlie, there's all kinds of rides
and games and opportunities to win

219
00:06:53,751 --> 00:06:54,216
stuffed toys.

220
00:06:54,285 --> 00:06:57,119
Yeah, man, the boardwalk
is a blast, man.

221
00:06:57,188 --> 00:06:59,587
But it is under the boardwalk
where the action really happens.

222
00:06:59,656 --> 00:07:00,255
Trust me, pal.

223
00:07:00,323 --> 00:07:00,822
Oh, yeah?

224
00:07:00,890 --> 00:07:01,722
Yeah.

225
00:07:01,791 --> 00:07:03,291
Oh, what's down there?

226
00:07:03,359 --> 00:07:05,293
Oh, Charlie, come on.

227
00:07:05,361 --> 00:07:07,294
So under the boardwalk's
where it's at?

228
00:07:07,363 --> 00:07:08,295
Yeah, man.

229
00:07:08,363 --> 00:07:09,963
This is gonna knock
your socks off.

230
00:07:10,032 --> 00:07:12,565
You never know who you're going to run
into, what they're gonna be doing.

231
00:07:12,634 --> 00:07:13,733
You love the bridge, right?

232
00:07:13,802 --> 00:07:14,234
Yeah.

233
00:07:14,302 --> 00:07:15,669
This is a lot like being under
the bridge, I would think.

234
00:07:15,738 --> 00:07:16,536
It's way better than that.

235
00:07:16,605 --> 00:07:18,738
Under the boardwalk is
a magical place, man.

236
00:07:18,807 --> 00:07:21,107
I have a special place in my heart
'cause I had my first kiss down here.

237
00:07:21,176 --> 00:07:21,641
Mm-hmm.

238
00:07:21,710 --> 00:07:22,209
Did you?

239
00:07:22,277 --> 00:07:26,880
Oh, dude, all kinds of romantic
shit happens... Oh, God!

240
00:07:26,949 --> 00:07:28,615
Oh, God!

241
00:07:28,684 --> 00:07:29,849
Oh, no!

242
00:07:29,918 --> 00:07:31,618
No! No! No!

243
00:07:31,687 --> 00:07:32,886
No! What was that?

244
00:07:32,955 --> 00:07:34,688
Two homeless guys
banging each other.

245
00:07:34,757 --> 00:07:36,156
I saw, but why?

246
00:07:36,225 --> 00:07:37,057
That's not magical.

247
00:07:37,126 --> 00:07:37,825
That's not romantic.

248
00:07:37,893 --> 00:07:38,759
That's your idea of romantic?

249
00:07:38,828 --> 00:07:39,460
No!

250
00:07:39,529 --> 00:07:41,563
There are other kinds of
romances that happen under here.

251
00:07:41,631 --> 00:07:43,398
I don't want to see
anything else like that.

252
00:07:43,467 --> 00:07:44,366
You know what, I'm out of here.

253
00:07:44,435 --> 00:07:45,234
'Cause you guys are perverted.

254
00:07:45,303 --> 00:07:45,935
You get out of here.

255
00:07:46,004 --> 00:07:46,936
You get out of here.

256
00:07:47,005 --> 00:07:48,304
You get out of here, Charlie.

257
00:07:48,373 --> 00:07:49,973
Son of a bitch.

258
00:07:58,388 --> 00:08:00,683
Aw!

259
00:08:02,819 --> 00:08:04,586
Where's the beach?

260
00:08:04,655 --> 00:08:05,554
Frank, wake up.

261
00:08:05,623 --> 00:08:06,454
What? What's the matter?

262
00:08:06,523 --> 00:08:09,090
Where's the beach?

263
00:08:09,454 --> 00:08:11,687
Uh, I don't know.

264
00:08:11,755 --> 00:08:14,155
We're in the middle
of the goddamn ocean!

265
00:08:14,224 --> 00:08:15,890
Yes, we are.

266
00:08:18,061 --> 00:08:19,160
What are we gonna do?

267
00:08:19,228 --> 00:08:22,396
Well, we're going to conk out
for a while and let the current

268
00:08:22,464 --> 00:08:24,731
gently roll us back to shore.

269
00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:28,401
Frank, the current is what brought
us out here in the first place.

270
00:08:28,470 --> 00:08:31,404
If anything, we should be paddling
against it to get back to the beach.

271
00:08:31,473 --> 00:08:33,340
I'm going to pretend
like I didn't hear that.

272
00:08:33,409 --> 00:08:36,509
Frank, Frank, we are no
longer in relaxing mode.

273
00:08:36,578 --> 00:08:38,145
We are now in survival mode.

274
00:08:38,213 --> 00:08:41,147
Will you stop being so dramatic?

275
00:08:41,216 --> 00:08:43,217
Wait a minute.

276
00:08:43,285 --> 00:08:44,851
Wait a minute.

277
00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:47,989
Where's the rum ham?

278
00:08:48,058 --> 00:08:49,324
Where's the rum...?

279
00:08:49,393 --> 00:08:50,859
Aw!

280
00:08:50,928 --> 00:08:52,260
Rum ham!

281
00:08:52,329 --> 00:08:53,662
No, Frank, stay in the boat.

282
00:08:53,731 --> 00:08:54,364
Rum ham!

283
00:08:54,432 --> 00:08:55,465
Frank, stay in the boat.

284
00:08:55,533 --> 00:08:57,333
I want rum ham!

285
00:08:57,402 --> 00:08:59,669
I'm sorry, rum ham.

286
00:08:59,738 --> 00:09:02,439
I'm sorry, rum ham.

287
00:09:02,507 --> 00:09:05,075
Oh, rum ham.

288
00:09:07,811 --> 00:09:10,445
Yeah, this is going
to be great, right?

289
00:09:10,514 --> 00:09:11,113
Of course it is.

290
00:09:11,181 --> 00:09:15,717
Nothing like some good, innocent, wholesome,
above-the-boardwalk fun to, uh,

291
00:09:15,785 --> 00:09:16,851
get us back on track.

292
00:09:16,919 --> 00:09:19,253
Yes. Take a step back
from the situation.

293
00:09:19,322 --> 00:09:21,021
Get a clearer perspective.

294
00:09:21,090 --> 00:09:22,823
Yeah, and then we'll plummet
20 stories and the rush will

295
00:09:22,892 --> 00:09:24,591
propel us forward into
an awesome evening.

296
00:09:24,660 --> 00:09:25,159
Yeah.

297
00:09:25,227 --> 00:09:28,162
And hopefully cleanse us of the horrifying
events that we've just witnessed.

298
00:09:28,230 --> 00:09:31,632
These beads are really
digging into my back.

299
00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:33,267
Wind... I don't know.

300
00:09:33,336 --> 00:09:34,769
I don't know if we should
have come back here.

301
00:09:34,837 --> 00:09:37,805
I think we made a mistake, because
we have so many memories... Oh, no.

302
00:09:37,874 --> 00:09:38,639
Is my hair stuck?

303
00:09:38,707 --> 00:09:39,539
Yeah.

304
00:09:39,608 --> 00:09:40,574
It feels it's... Yeah?

305
00:09:40,642 --> 00:09:41,541
Oh, yeah.

306
00:09:41,610 --> 00:09:42,309
Well, get it.

307
00:09:42,377 --> 00:09:42,976
No.

308
00:09:43,045 --> 00:09:44,544
Get it out, because we're about to drop...
Get it!

309
00:09:44,613 --> 00:09:47,079
Stick your hand... You think I'm going
to stick my fingers into the machinery?

310
00:09:47,148 --> 00:09:48,881
Hey, hey, you down there.

311
00:09:48,950 --> 00:09:51,717
Do not make it go, because my
hair is stuck, and something

312
00:09:51,786 --> 00:09:52,651
terrible will happen.

313
00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:53,552
Oh, that's really in there.

314
00:09:53,621 --> 00:09:54,920
Oh, you idiot, stop the ride!

315
00:09:54,989 --> 00:09:59,123
Don't make it fall!

316
00:10:10,503 --> 00:10:12,805
Ow!

317
00:10:17,178 --> 00:10:18,612
Hey.

318
00:10:18,681 --> 00:10:19,747
How you holding up, sis?

319
00:10:19,815 --> 00:10:21,615
Not well, Dennis. Not well.

320
00:10:21,684 --> 00:10:25,585
Do you have any id how horrifying it was
to ride that back up to get my hair?

321
00:10:25,653 --> 00:10:27,620
Yeah, well, be thankful
you got it back.

322
00:10:27,689 --> 00:10:29,355
I just want to get my scalp
sewnack on and get the hell

323
00:10:29,423 --> 00:10:30,756
out of this miserable town.

324
00:10:30,824 --> 00:10:32,490
I'm starting to wonder what
the hell we ever saw in this

325
00:10:32,559 --> 00:10:33,925
place, you know what I mean?

326
00:10:33,994 --> 00:10:35,593
I mean, look at this girl.

327
00:10:35,661 --> 00:10:37,027
What's her story?

328
00:10:37,096 --> 00:10:39,029
She's got a decent
bone structure.

329
00:10:39,098 --> 00:10:40,530
She was probably very
pretty when she was young.

330
00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:41,197
Yeah.

331
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:44,334
Probably spent her summers here, lounging
on the beach and scooping ice cream.

332
00:10:44,403 --> 00:10:47,303
But she didn't want her summers to end,
so she got herself a fake I.D. and a

333
00:10:47,372 --> 00:10:49,506
push-up bra and started hanging
out at the local bars.

334
00:10:49,574 --> 00:10:50,240
Right.

335
00:10:50,308 --> 00:10:53,076
Developed a nasty coke habit, 'cause
she loved the way it made her feel.

336
00:10:53,144 --> 00:10:54,010
Mm-hmm.

337
00:10:54,079 --> 00:10:57,981
Extreme highs gave way to extreme
lows and she fell into a depression.

338
00:10:58,049 --> 00:10:59,148
Had herself a kid.

339
00:10:59,217 --> 00:11:00,950
Thought it would give
her a sense of purpose.

340
00:11:01,019 --> 00:11:03,185
And it did, for a while, until
she started using again.

341
00:11:03,254 --> 00:11:04,019
Mm-hmm.

342
00:11:04,088 --> 00:11:06,155
And then social services came
knocking at the door, and now

343
00:11:06,224 --> 00:11:08,557
the kid lives upstate with his
grandparents, 'cause she can't

344
00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:09,925
take care of this kid.

345
00:11:09,994 --> 00:11:13,195
And here she is festering away
in a one-bedroom apartment

346
00:11:13,264 --> 00:11:15,964
waiting for the HIV
to turn into AIDS.

347
00:11:16,033 --> 00:11:19,868
And wondering what the hell...
You know I can hear you, right?

348
00:11:19,937 --> 00:11:20,669
Oh, sorry.

349
00:11:20,738 --> 00:11:21,904
We were just using you
as a metaphor, though.

350
00:11:21,972 --> 00:11:22,504
Yeah.

351
00:11:22,573 --> 00:11:24,206
We didn't mean
anything personal.

352
00:11:24,275 --> 00:11:26,142
Don't sweat it.

353
00:11:26,211 --> 00:11:27,544
You're not that far off.

354
00:11:27,612 --> 00:11:28,678
Hey.

355
00:11:28,747 --> 00:11:31,115
Hey, baby.

356
00:11:31,183 --> 00:11:32,616
Jesus, are you seeing this?

357
00:11:32,684 --> 00:11:33,316
Mm-hmm.

358
00:11:33,385 --> 00:11:35,619
God, even the doctors in
this town are drug dealers.

359
00:11:35,688 --> 00:11:36,353
Oh, hey, wait.

360
00:11:36,421 --> 00:11:37,187
What are you doing?

361
00:11:37,823 --> 00:11:38,455
Who are you?

362
00:11:38,524 --> 00:11:39,223
Where did you come from?

363
00:11:39,291 --> 00:11:39,790
Get out of here.

364
00:11:39,859 --> 00:11:40,491
Drop it.

365
00:11:40,559 --> 00:11:41,225
No. Goddamn it!

366
00:11:41,294 --> 00:11:43,093
Goddamn you!

367
00:11:43,162 --> 00:11:43,994
I hate this town, Dennis.

368
00:11:44,063 --> 00:11:44,828
I hate this town.

369
00:11:44,897 --> 00:11:46,497
Okay, okay, all right,
well calm down.

370
00:11:46,566 --> 00:11:47,331
It's understandable.

371
00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:48,632
You are missing a
piece of your scalp.

372
00:11:48,701 --> 00:11:49,433
Yeah.

373
00:11:49,502 --> 00:11:51,503
Sounds like you two
could use a break.

374
00:11:51,571 --> 00:11:53,571
Want to come party with
me and my friends?

375
00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:55,806
Yeah. Yes.

376
00:11:55,875 --> 00:11:57,808
Mm-hmm.

377
00:12:02,581 --> 00:12:03,948
I'm so thirsty.

378
00:12:04,017 --> 00:12:05,583
Gargle some more water, bitch.

379
00:12:05,652 --> 00:12:06,384
I've been gargling.

380
00:12:06,453 --> 00:12:07,919
Well, don't snap at me.

381
00:12:07,988 --> 00:12:09,353
Well, quit acting so bossy.

382
00:12:09,422 --> 00:12:11,889
Okay, you know what, guy,
we can't fight, all right?

383
00:12:11,958 --> 00:12:13,357
We're both very cranky.

384
00:12:13,426 --> 00:12:15,126
We haven't eaten in
a very long time.

385
00:12:15,195 --> 00:12:16,694
I'm starving.

386
00:12:16,763 --> 00:12:20,097
Okay, all right, look, maybe
I'll dive down there, I'll spear

387
00:12:20,166 --> 00:12:23,234
a tuna, I'll wrestle him
on board and we'll feast.

388
00:12:23,303 --> 00:12:24,969
Boom, let's eat.

389
00:12:25,038 --> 00:12:26,671
All right, give me the knife.

390
00:12:26,740 --> 00:12:28,573
I can't give you the knife.

391
00:12:28,642 --> 00:12:30,375
What? Why not?

392
00:12:30,443 --> 00:12:32,810
'Cause there may come a time
when difficult decisions must be

393
00:12:32,879 --> 00:12:35,747
made, and I'd rather be
the one with the knife.

394
00:12:35,816 --> 00:12:36,982
What difficult decisions?

395
00:12:37,050 --> 00:12:38,150
What are you talking about?

396
00:12:38,218 --> 00:12:41,186
You know, like things
you do to stay alive.

397
00:12:41,255 --> 00:12:45,356
Are you talking about killing
and eating me, Frank?

398
00:12:45,425 --> 00:12:47,958
All I'm saying is, that when you
go into survival mode, it's

399
00:12:48,027 --> 00:12:49,927
every man for himself.

400
00:12:49,995 --> 00:12:52,495
You seem like you're in
survival mode right now.

401
00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:56,633
Maybe I am, maybe
I ain't, rum ham.

402
00:12:56,701 --> 00:12:59,068
Did you just call me rum ham?

403
00:12:59,137 --> 00:13:02,138
Frank, Frank, we cannot be
talking about killing and eating

404
00:13:02,206 --> 00:13:03,406
each other already, okay?

405
00:13:03,475 --> 00:13:04,507
Tell that to the rum ham.

406
00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:06,009
Stop talking about
the goddamn rum ham.

407
00:13:06,078 --> 00:13:06,776
It should have been you!

408
00:13:06,845 --> 00:13:07,778
No!

409
00:13:07,846 --> 00:13:10,514
Jesus...

410
00:13:10,583 --> 00:13:11,816
Oh, no!

411
00:13:11,884 --> 00:13:12,350
Uh-oh.

412
00:13:12,419 --> 00:13:13,618
You see what you've done?

413
00:13:13,687 --> 00:13:16,421
You've murdered us both,
you son of a bitch.

414
00:13:16,490 --> 00:13:19,357
Oh, shit, what's that?

415
00:13:19,426 --> 00:13:20,692
It's a boat!

416
00:13:20,761 --> 00:13:21,426
It's a boat!

417
00:13:21,495 --> 00:13:22,294
We're saved!

418
00:13:24,164 --> 00:13:25,597
Is that an Italian flag?

419
00:13:25,666 --> 00:13:28,333
It's the Guidos.

420
00:13:28,402 --> 00:13:31,336
Guidos, we're here.

421
00:13:31,404 --> 00:13:34,372
Over here.

422
00:13:37,864 --> 00:13:39,398
Oh!

423
00:13:39,466 --> 00:13:41,232
No way.

424
00:13:41,301 --> 00:13:43,635
Charlie?

425
00:13:43,703 --> 00:13:46,337
Hey.

426
00:13:46,406 --> 00:13:49,106
Oh, my God, what are
you doing down here?

427
00:13:49,175 --> 00:13:51,141
Did you follow me all the
way to the Jersey Shore?

428
00:13:51,210 --> 00:13:53,143
No! No, I swear.

429
00:13:53,211 --> 00:13:55,311
I'm just out here...
but that's cool!

430
00:13:55,380 --> 00:13:57,447
Can you believe we're...
That's like destiny!

431
00:13:57,515 --> 00:14:00,483
What... What's in your hand?

432
00:14:00,552 --> 00:14:01,551
Something stupid I found.

433
00:14:01,620 --> 00:14:02,586
No big deal.

434
00:14:02,655 --> 00:14:04,788
Can I see it?

435
00:14:04,856 --> 00:14:07,457
Yeah.

436
00:14:07,526 --> 00:14:08,759
Wow.

437
00:14:08,827 --> 00:14:10,928
That's really beautiful.

438
00:14:12,065 --> 00:14:14,232
I'll tell you what, I mean...
I think that's a pretty rare

439
00:14:14,301 --> 00:14:16,968
one, but you can
keep it if you want.

440
00:14:17,037 --> 00:14:18,370
Thanks, Charlie.

441
00:14:18,439 --> 00:14:19,839
Sure.

442
00:14:22,476 --> 00:14:24,409
So you going to insult
me and walk away?

443
00:14:24,477 --> 00:14:26,877
Or, or what's going on here?

444
00:14:26,946 --> 00:14:30,046
No, I, um...
I don't, I don't know, you know?

445
00:14:30,115 --> 00:14:33,149
I love the beach so much,
and it's so beautiful.

446
00:14:33,217 --> 00:14:37,919
I could probably just hang
out here for a little while.

447
00:14:37,988 --> 00:14:41,255
Cool.

448
00:14:41,324 --> 00:14:43,291
Just don't go under
the boardwalk.

449
00:14:43,359 --> 00:14:45,993
Okay.

450
00:14:48,197 --> 00:14:49,697
Guys, this is Dennis and Dee.

451
00:14:49,766 --> 00:14:52,300
I told them they could
roll with us tonight.

452
00:14:52,369 --> 00:14:53,969
Yeah, uh, hi.

453
00:14:54,037 --> 00:14:57,872
Yeah, we're, uh, looking forward
to partying with you all tonight.

454
00:14:57,940 --> 00:14:59,641
Does Bobby know about this?

455
00:14:59,709 --> 00:15:01,208
Don't worry, they're cool.

456
00:15:01,277 --> 00:15:02,276
Yeah.

457
00:15:02,345 --> 00:15:04,945
So, uh... what are we getting
into tonight, you guys?

458
00:15:05,014 --> 00:15:05,946
Yeah!

459
00:15:06,015 --> 00:15:07,748
Just waiting for Bobby.

460
00:15:07,817 --> 00:15:09,750
Then we're gonna hit
the liquor store.

461
00:15:09,819 --> 00:15:10,651
All right, cool.

462
00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:12,153
Yeah, well, you can't have
a party without liquor.

463
00:15:12,221 --> 00:15:12,853
That's right.

464
00:15:12,922 --> 00:15:13,520
So yeah.

465
00:15:13,589 --> 00:15:14,521
Let's hit the liquor store.

466
00:15:16,558 --> 00:15:18,992
Who the hell
are these two?

467
00:15:19,061 --> 00:15:22,295
Well, you're Bobby, I guess.

468
00:15:22,364 --> 00:15:26,200
Uh, we are just new acquaintances
of your friend Stephanie over here.

469
00:15:26,269 --> 00:15:27,735
Harmless people.

470
00:15:27,804 --> 00:15:28,737
You guys cool?

471
00:15:28,805 --> 00:15:29,738
Yeah.

472
00:15:29,806 --> 00:15:33,441
Well, I hate to toot my own horn,
but I am pretty cool, Bobby.

473
00:15:34,878 --> 00:15:35,810
Hit that.

474
00:15:35,879 --> 00:15:38,780
Yeah.

475
00:15:38,849 --> 00:15:40,915
And I can tell by the way
you're staring at me that

476
00:15:40,984 --> 00:15:42,484
you're wondering
if I'm cool, too.

477
00:15:42,553 --> 00:15:43,452
Ooh.

478
00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:46,288
I'm just going to go ahead and nip
that in the bud right now, so...

479
00:15:48,025 --> 00:15:49,591
Oh, shit.

480
00:15:49,660 --> 00:15:50,826
That does not taste like weed.

481
00:15:50,895 --> 00:15:51,827
It burns a lot.

482
00:15:51,896 --> 00:15:52,962
It's angel dust.

483
00:15:53,030 --> 00:15:55,831
Angel... Dust.

484
00:15:55,899 --> 00:15:57,833
Embrace the night.

485
00:16:03,939 --> 00:16:04,872
What's over there?

486
00:16:11,381 --> 00:16:12,880
Beer, beer, beer, beer!

487
00:16:12,949 --> 00:16:14,882
All right, you guys
ready to get it?

488
00:16:14,951 --> 00:16:15,883
Yes, yes!

489
00:16:15,952 --> 00:16:17,585
Let's go, let's go, let's go!

490
00:16:17,653 --> 00:16:19,186
No!

491
00:16:19,255 --> 00:16:20,388
Yeah!

492
00:16:20,456 --> 00:16:21,522
Wha...?

493
00:16:21,591 --> 00:16:22,890
What's happening?

494
00:16:22,959 --> 00:16:23,991
What's happening?

495
00:16:37,273 --> 00:16:38,172
Hi!

496
00:16:44,147 --> 00:16:45,179
Drive!

497
00:16:45,248 --> 00:16:46,080
Drive now!

498
00:16:46,149 --> 00:16:47,415
You! Drive!

499
00:16:47,484 --> 00:16:48,416
Drive!

500
00:16:48,485 --> 00:16:49,550
Drive!

501
00:16:49,619 --> 00:16:51,886
Drive!

502
00:16:54,825 --> 00:16:55,757
Thanks, man.

503
00:16:55,826 --> 00:17:00,295
Thanks, bro.

504
00:17:00,364 --> 00:17:01,196
Hurry it up.

505
00:17:01,265 --> 00:17:02,231
Hurry up!

506
00:17:02,299 --> 00:17:05,968
Hurry up!

507
00:17:07,138 --> 00:17:08,070
Oh, my God!

508
00:17:08,139 --> 00:17:09,072
Shut her up!

509
00:17:09,140 --> 00:17:10,073
You pick him up.

510
00:17:10,141 --> 00:17:10,740
Okay!

511
00:17:10,809 --> 00:17:11,407
Pick him up.

512
00:17:11,476 --> 00:17:12,075
Pick him up?

513
00:17:12,144 --> 00:17:14,011
Go get him!

514
00:17:19,151 --> 00:17:21,084
Rum ham!

515
00:17:30,027 --> 00:17:31,927
Dig, come on, dig!

516
00:17:32,996 --> 00:17:33,828
Dig! Hurry up!

517
00:17:33,897 --> 00:17:34,595
Dig! Shut up!

518
00:17:34,664 --> 00:17:35,596
Shut up and dig!

519
00:17:37,667 --> 00:17:38,599
Bobby!

520
00:17:38,668 --> 00:17:39,634
Shoot 'em!

521
00:17:40,704 --> 00:17:42,037
Shoot 'em!

522
00:17:49,881 --> 00:17:57,354
Vacation, all I ever wanted ♪
Vacation, had to get away Vacation,

523
00:18:09,134 --> 00:18:11,001
Oh, my God, Charlie!

524
00:18:11,069 --> 00:18:12,001
Hey.

525
00:18:12,070 --> 00:18:13,002
What a night.

526
00:18:13,972 --> 00:18:16,605
What the...
Did you rape me last night?

527
00:18:16,674 --> 00:18:18,607
What? No.

528
00:18:18,675 --> 00:18:19,608
Gross, no!

529
00:18:19,676 --> 00:18:24,747
Then... Okay, why am I waking up
next to you on a deserted beach?

530
00:18:24,816 --> 00:18:26,749
'Cause we fell asleep
here last night.

531
00:18:26,818 --> 00:18:28,251
What's going on with you?

532
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:32,656
Oh, my God. I was...
I was on Ecstasy last night, Charlie.

533
00:18:32,724 --> 00:18:34,959
You have to tell me
everything that happened.

534
00:18:35,027 --> 00:18:37,028
Oh!

535
00:18:37,096 --> 00:18:39,230
Boy, you're really
off the wagon, huh?

536
00:18:39,299 --> 00:18:41,266
Drinking, drugs... Oh, my God.

537
00:18:41,335 --> 00:18:42,801
Well, it was a cool night.

538
00:18:42,870 --> 00:18:45,704
I mean, we laughed, we collected
sea specimens, we drank some

539
00:18:45,772 --> 00:18:48,607
ocean, you got a little sick
from drinking the ocean.

540
00:18:48,676 --> 00:18:49,608
I loved it, though.

541
00:18:49,677 --> 00:18:52,010
That sounds really
weird and gross.

542
00:18:52,079 --> 00:18:54,179
Oh, really?

543
00:18:54,247 --> 00:18:56,181
Well, I suppose now you think
this is weird and gross.

544
00:18:56,249 --> 00:18:58,449
Oh my God, Charlie, come on!

545
00:18:58,518 --> 00:19:00,618
What?

546
00:19:00,686 --> 00:19:02,620
Hang on a second,
where you going?

547
00:19:02,689 --> 00:19:03,788
Uh, let's see.

548
00:19:03,857 --> 00:19:06,524
Last night I lived out one
of my actual nightmares.

549
00:19:06,593 --> 00:19:08,526
So I'm going to go,
and take a shower.

550
00:19:08,595 --> 00:19:09,527
Well, hang on.

551
00:19:09,596 --> 00:19:11,496
Hang on a second.

552
00:19:11,565 --> 00:19:13,465
I suppose you want this back.

553
00:19:13,534 --> 00:19:14,466
What is that?

554
00:19:14,535 --> 00:19:15,467
That's a jewel you gave me.

555
00:19:15,536 --> 00:19:17,369
You said you wanted
me to have it.

556
00:19:17,438 --> 00:19:20,272
Charlie, that's a piece
of a broken glass bottle.

557
00:19:20,341 --> 00:19:21,507
All right.

558
00:19:21,575 --> 00:19:23,509
Well, maybe I'll see you
Friday or something.

559
00:19:23,578 --> 00:19:24,510
No!

560
00:19:24,578 --> 00:19:26,778
No!

561
00:19:26,847 --> 00:19:27,946
Okay.

562
00:19:28,015 --> 00:19:30,081
Hmm.

563
00:19:30,150 --> 00:19:32,651
I guess that's just summer love.

564
00:19:32,719 --> 00:19:34,786
Crazy.

565
00:19:34,855 --> 00:19:37,355
Bro, our night was
way more amazing.

566
00:19:37,424 --> 00:19:38,256
And it actually happened.

567
00:19:38,325 --> 00:19:39,758
What do you mean, it
actually happened?

568
00:19:39,827 --> 00:19:40,592
Why do you keep saying that?

569
00:19:40,660 --> 00:19:42,193
You don't think I spent the
night with the waitress?

570
00:19:42,262 --> 00:19:42,860
No!

571
00:19:42,929 --> 00:19:44,262
Then where'd I get this, dude?

572
00:19:44,330 --> 00:19:44,962
Where'd I get that?

573
00:19:45,031 --> 00:19:47,965
I assume you got it out of the trash, or
dug it out of a storm drain somewhere.

574
00:19:48,034 --> 00:19:51,735
I don't believe you're not...
Whoa! Here they come.

575
00:19:51,804 --> 00:19:53,737
Okay. All right.

576
00:19:53,806 --> 00:19:54,738
Everyone get in the car!

577
00:19:54,807 --> 00:19:55,406
Go, let's go!

578
00:19:55,474 --> 00:19:56,106
Get in the car!

579
00:19:56,175 --> 00:19:57,007
Come on, come on, come on!

580
00:19:57,076 --> 00:19:58,228
Guys, you will not believe
the night we had!

581
00:19:58,348 --> 00:20:00,854
I don't care, there is no meaning
to life anymore.

582
00:20:00,974 --> 00:20:02,827
It takes a classy man
to admit when he was wrong.

583
00:20:02,947 --> 00:20:05,463
- And I was wrong. I love the Jersey Shore.
- Oh, you love it?

584
00:20:05,583 --> 00:20:10,440
Oh, you love it so much here, get in the
goddamn car, you fat fat ass, fat fat ass.

585
00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:13,034
We hang out with these Jersey dudes.

586
00:20:13,154 --> 00:20:15,089
Oh, man, they talk awesome.

587
00:20:15,209 --> 00:20:17,600
I don't know why these guys get
such a bad rep. It's pretty cool.

588
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:19,089
Let me tell you something, Mac.

589
00:20:19,209 --> 00:20:22,540
There are far worse people in Jersey Shore
than the cast of The Jersey Shore.

590
00:20:22,660 --> 00:20:26,007
It's a horrible town. It's a horrible town
filled with horrible people.

591
00:20:26,127 --> 00:20:29,206
I don't know about that.
I think it's a magical town.

592
00:20:29,326 --> 00:20:31,203
Hell yeah.

593
00:20:32,027 --> 00:20:33,876
Beautiful magical town.

594
00:20:35,914 --> 00:20:45,914
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com