1 00:00:02,610 --> 00:00:05,011 And you were disrespectful to me. 2 00:00:05,090 --> 00:00:07,252 [ Woman ♪2] That's the past. Goa', get a life. 3 00:00:07,370 --> 00:00:09,816 This is my life, you bitch. 4 00:00:09,890 --> 00:00:12,541 You... bitch! 5 00:00:12,610 --> 00:00:14,499 Oh! You slut. 6 00:00:14,570 --> 00:00:16,413 Stupid- 7 00:00:16,490 --> 00:00:18,492 Hold still, Charlie. You're flickering. 8 00:00:18,570 --> 00:00:21,380 Sorry. It's- Trying to get you good images, 9 00:00:21,450 --> 00:00:23,418 but I keep getting shocked a little bit. 10 00:00:23,490 --> 00:00:26,096 - Don't let that affect your work. - No, I'm really trying not to. 11 00:00:26,170 --> 00:00:29,060 It's just that, you know, I had to run the wires from the other building- 12 00:00:29,170 --> 00:00:31,935 [ Groans ] building, and the, you know- 13 00:00:32,010 --> 00:00:34,012 There's asbestos in the ducts, which wasn't good for- 14 00:00:35,890 --> 00:00:37,938 Good for breathing, so I'm tired. 15 00:00:38,010 --> 00:00:40,377 Why are you watching this crap? Come on. Turn the TV off. 16 00:00:40,450 --> 00:00:42,532 Let's-Let's go out. Let's go do something. I'm bored. 17 00:00:42,610 --> 00:00:44,977 Hey. Let's go dancing, huh? I want to do something. 18 00:00:45,050 --> 00:00:47,132 - Dancing? - We're watching Real House wives. 19 00:00:47,210 --> 00:00:49,816 There's nothing real about this shit, Frank. You know that. Come on. 20 00:00:49,890 --> 00:00:51,654 Real women don't even look like that. 21 00:00:51,730 --> 00:00:53,414 HEY, guys. 22 00:00:53,490 --> 00:00:55,857 That is what real women look like. 23 00:00:55,930 --> 00:00:58,331 - Dee, are you sick? - No, I feel great. 24 00:00:58,410 --> 00:01:02,051 Oh, I haven't had a chance to shower for a few days. I've been gaming like a loon. 25 00:01:02,130 --> 00:01:04,417 - You've been what? - Gaming. I've been playing this online video game. 26 00:01:04,490 --> 00:01:06,458 It is awesome. Charlie, speaking of which, 27 00:01:06,530 --> 00:01:09,730 you want to come play my avatar for me for a little bit while I run some errands? 28 00:01:09,770 --> 00:01:12,421 - I don't want my crops to die. - Nah. I'm kind of busy... 29 00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:14,612 working for the guys, Dee. Shit! 30 00:01:14,730 --> 00:01:17,574 - Yes, he's working for us. He will do nothing of the sort. -We're going dancing. 31 00:01:17,690 --> 00:01:19,499 - Come on! - What if I give you three bucks? 32 00:01:19,610 --> 00:01:21,738 You're our employee. You do what we say. 33 00:01:21,810 --> 00:01:24,051 I pay your rent. Do not drop those wires. 34 00:01:24,130 --> 00:01:26,292 Hey, Charlie, to live is to dance. Let's go. 35 00:01:26,370 --> 00:01:29,613 - Charlie, what if I gave you five bucks? - You owe me five bucks! 36 00:01:31,250 --> 00:01:32,934 Ah, shit! Screw it! 37 00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:35,251 Son of a bitch! Shit! 38 00:01:35,330 --> 00:01:38,379 All right, tell you what. [ Panting ] I'm gonna go with Dee, okay? 39 00:01:38,450 --> 00:01:40,418 I'm getting sick of this shit. I really am. 40 00:01:40,490 --> 00:01:44,381 You know, they treat me like a dum-dum and a grunt, and... I have potential. 41 00:01:44,450 --> 00:01:46,418 You know? 42 00:01:46,490 --> 00:01:48,811 I could go places. I could do things. 43 00:01:48,930 --> 00:01:50,694 Who knows? 44 00:01:50,770 --> 00:01:53,171 I might even rule the world one day. 45 00:01:55,810 --> 00:01:59,292 Rule the world, huh? Yeah, if that happens, I'll blow myself. 46 00:02:25,090 --> 00:02:26,660 Okay, so it's called TechPocalypse, right? 47 00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:29,620 And we're post-apocalypse, and we have to rebuild civilization. 48 00:02:29,690 --> 00:02:31,692 This is me, ZingingCutie23. 49 00:02:31,770 --> 00:02:33,579 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. 50 00:02:33,650 --> 00:02:35,220 ZingingCutie23? 51 00:02:35,290 --> 00:02:37,054 Are you pretending that you're 23 years old? 52 00:02:38,250 --> 00:02:39,775 - No. - It seems like it. 53 00:02:39,850 --> 00:02:41,579 No, I-it's-it's a random number that I picked. 54 00:02:41,730 --> 00:02:44,097 It's a random number? I just picked a number to put at the end of- 55 00:02:44,170 --> 00:02:45,820 You know what? Just watch over my tribe, 56 00:02:45,890 --> 00:02:47,415 and make sure nobody, you know, takes it over, 57 00:02:47,570 --> 00:02:49,299 and I'll give you your money, okay? Okay. Wait. 58 00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:51,179 Hold on a second. What is that? 59 00:02:51,250 --> 00:02:52,979 That's you. You're one of my subjects. 60 00:02:53,050 --> 00:02:55,132 That's me? Why am I in the game? Is that Mac? 61 00:02:55,210 --> 00:02:57,611 Of course that's Mac. You guys are all here. See, Mac's my handmaiden. 62 00:02:57,690 --> 00:02:59,897 [ High-pitched Voice ] How do you do? How do you do? 63 00:03:00,010 --> 00:03:03,139 And Dennis is a midget blacksmith. 64 00:03:03,210 --> 00:03:05,019 Frank is a mute half-donkey. 65 00:03:05,130 --> 00:03:06,575 [ BrayiflQ 1 66 00:03:06,650 --> 00:03:09,654 - And you're my jester. - Why am I eating out of a trough? 67 00:03:09,770 --> 00:03:12,137 Made sense. Are you kidding me? 68 00:03:12,210 --> 00:03:15,293 So let me get this straight. You've been playing this game for, like, a week straight... 69 00:03:15,370 --> 00:03:17,259 just so you feel like you lord over all of us? 70 00:03:17,370 --> 00:03:19,771 Is that what this is? Charlie, do you want your five bucks or not? 71 00:03:19,850 --> 00:03:21,932 I want my five dollars. It's just pathetic, Dee. 72 00:03:22,010 --> 00:03:23,739 Okay, well, maybe it is. Maybe it isn't. 73 00:03:23,850 --> 00:03:26,171 I really do need the money though. Yeah, well, then get to work. 74 00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:28,372 In advance? No, not in advance. We'll see how well you do. 75 00:03:28,450 --> 00:03:30,020 All right. I got this. I got this. 76 00:03:41,730 --> 00:03:43,732 Yeah. 77 00:03:43,810 --> 00:03:46,575 See? This is what I'm talking about, guys. Huh? 78 00:03:46,650 --> 00:03:48,414 I mean, playing online video games... 79 00:03:48,490 --> 00:03:51,096 and watching stupid reality shows-that's not real life. 80 00:03:51,170 --> 00:03:53,252 It's keeping people from experiencing real life. 81 00:03:53,330 --> 00:03:54,934 This is real. 82 00:03:55,010 --> 00:03:57,411 It's real, but it feels weird as shit. 83 00:03:57,490 --> 00:03:59,413 There's nobody else in the bar dancing. 84 00:03:59,490 --> 00:04:02,653 We're setting the tone, Frank. You know, we will lead, and others will follow. 85 00:04:02,770 --> 00:04:05,011 - I'm stopping. - Oh, come on. Don't stop. 86 00:04:05,090 --> 00:04:07,775 Look. All right. Let's go do some shots, and that'll get you guys fired up, 87 00:04:07,850 --> 00:04:10,535 and we'll come back out, and we'll do some more of this or whatever. 88 00:04:10,610 --> 00:04:13,295 You know, you can do the move, and- Come on, come on, come on, come on. 89 00:04:13,370 --> 00:04:15,816 Hey, uh, baflenden three shots of whiskey. Come on. 90 00:04:15,890 --> 00:04:20,020 I know you guys. You're the donkey man and the princess. 91 00:04:20,130 --> 00:04:22,019 We don't know what you're talking about. Take a hike, Bozo. 92 00:04:22,090 --> 00:04:24,775 - Geek. - Check it out. Look at this. This is you, right? 93 00:04:24,850 --> 00:04:27,820 This-This is Frank and-and Mac from Zinging Cutie's tribe? 94 00:04:27,890 --> 00:04:31,099 - What the hell is this? - This is Dee's online video game, 95 00:04:31,170 --> 00:04:33,218 and she's created characters for all of us. 96 00:04:33,330 --> 00:04:36,140 She's humiliating us virtually. Who cares? it's a video game. 97 00:04:36,210 --> 00:04:38,531 What do you mean, who cares? This is starting to piss me off. 98 00:04:38,610 --> 00:04:40,817 Stop getting invested in fake realities. 99 00:04:40,890 --> 00:04:42,779 Let's live real life. 100 00:04:42,850 --> 00:04:44,739 I don't know, Dennis. My anger feels very real. 101 00:04:44,850 --> 00:04:46,898 Yeah, well, it's not real. It's not. Are you feeling it? 102 00:04:46,970 --> 00:04:49,894 Okay? it's not real. And you know what it also isn't? It also isn't epic, okay? 103 00:04:49,970 --> 00:04:53,497 And you know what is epic? Doing these shots, going out there and dancing. 104 00:04:53,570 --> 00:04:55,652 Come on. Do it. Do the shot. I'll do the shots. 105 00:04:55,730 --> 00:04:57,494 I'll just do the shots. How about that? 106 00:05:02,210 --> 00:05:04,941 [ Grunts 1 107 00:05:08,530 --> 00:05:10,931 Oh, mama got a smart phone. 108 00:05:11,010 --> 00:05:13,536 Okay, you know, I tell you what, Carl. Let's settle for a “C” trade. 109 00:05:13,610 --> 00:05:17,331 We'll call it a day on that. I gotta run. ZingingCutie44 is back, so I'm out. 110 00:05:17,410 --> 00:05:19,651 Changed your name. 111 00:05:19,730 --> 00:05:22,620 What the hell are you doing, Charlie? I told you to just feed my crops. 112 00:05:22,690 --> 00:05:25,011 I did. I fed your crops, and then I gathered some rocks, 113 00:05:25,090 --> 00:05:26,899 and I built a little wall around your tribe. 114 00:05:26,970 --> 00:05:29,496 Then I used the leftover rocks to dam the river so that you could fish. 115 00:05:29,570 --> 00:05:32,096 Now you're doing well in the game. You sucked at it, all right? 116 00:05:32,210 --> 00:05:35,180 All you did was spend your money on stuff you don't need, just like in real life. 117 00:05:35,290 --> 00:05:37,372 I don't do that. Yes, you do. What'd you get at the store? 118 00:05:37,490 --> 00:05:39,731 I bought a smartphone so that I can play the game on the go. 119 00:05:39,810 --> 00:05:41,574 What's going on with the fingernails? 120 00:05:41,650 --> 00:05:43,732 - Well, I had those done like Flo-Jo. - Why? 121 00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:45,890 - I just thought it would be funny. - It's craziness. 122 00:05:45,930 --> 00:05:49,412 Look, Dee. This is your problem. I could take this money, I could feed myself for a month. 123 00:05:49,490 --> 00:05:51,857 I would buy milk, I would buy flour, I'd buy vitamins- 124 00:05:51,930 --> 00:05:54,331 I'd boil them down to little energy balls to sustain me. 125 00:05:54,410 --> 00:05:57,220 But whatever. Forget it. Enjoy your game. 126 00:05:57,290 --> 00:05:59,770 Enjoy all your new followers, and you're welcome. 127 00:05:59,890 --> 00:06:02,939 Oh, shit! Charlie, you got me 31 new followers? 128 00:06:03,010 --> 00:06:06,492 - Yeah. - That's amazing! Hey, do you want to maybe team up? 129 00:06:06,570 --> 00:06:09,141 - No, 'cause I don't want to be a slave. - Come on, Charlie. Please. 130 00:06:09,210 --> 00:06:11,019 I need you. 131 00:06:11,130 --> 00:06:13,497 It's like, when I'm doing good in the game, I'm doing good in life. 132 00:06:13,610 --> 00:06:16,136 I want to make fun of you for saying that, but I know what you mean. 133 00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:18,850 - It's like I'm thriving. - You're thriving. Yeah, I did feel that. 134 00:06:18,930 --> 00:06:21,217 You felt that? I did. I felt that. I never get to thrive. 135 00:06:21,330 --> 00:06:23,617 I want to be the guy who thrives for once. Right? Me neither. 136 00:06:23,690 --> 00:06:25,579 Tell you what. Make me your king, and let's get rocking. 137 00:06:25,650 --> 00:06:27,778 Ooh, no. I don't want to do that, 'cause we'd have to be married, 138 00:06:27,890 --> 00:06:29,574 and that would be awful. Okay. I'll see you later. 139 00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:31,971 No, no, no. Sit down, sit down, sit down. I'll make you my king. 140 00:06:32,050 --> 00:06:34,735 Just accept my request to consummate. 141 00:06:34,850 --> 00:06:37,296 Consummate? What is that? Have sex. 142 00:06:37,370 --> 00:06:38,701 Oh. 143 00:06:38,770 --> 00:06:40,260 So, um, 144 00:06:40,330 --> 00:06:42,014 we should have sex then? 145 00:06:43,210 --> 00:06:45,019 In the game. 146 00:06:45,090 --> 00:06:47,252 Yeah, in the game. Sure. Yeah. 147 00:06:47,370 --> 00:06:50,180 Yeah. Either way. Uh, so, 148 00:06:50,250 --> 00:06:52,298 push enter hard, 149 00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:54,213 or one, like, slow push, 150 00:06:54,290 --> 00:06:56,290 and you do your thing, or a little circular action? 151 00:06:56,370 --> 00:06:58,338 Just push the button, Charlie. Just push the button. 152 00:06:58,410 --> 00:07:01,459 [ Moans SQffly 1 153 00:07:03,890 --> 00:07:06,052 That was good, right? Was it? 154 00:07:06,130 --> 00:07:08,019 I think. 155 00:07:09,970 --> 00:07:11,893 You see me, Frank? You see me coming? I see you. 156 00:07:12,010 --> 00:07:15,378 I see you. Oh, here comes another guy. I'm gonna fight him. 157 00:07:15,450 --> 00:07:17,100 Mac attack! Fight! 158 00:07:20,650 --> 00:07:22,459 I lost again! Goddamn it! 159 00:07:22,530 --> 00:07:24,419 How do I keep losing? I'm huge. 160 00:07:24,490 --> 00:07:26,299 Stop fighting every guy in the game. 161 00:07:26,370 --> 00:07:28,976 The fighting is the best part. It's the only reason I'm playing. 162 00:07:29,050 --> 00:07:31,257 Oh, my God. Will you guys please shut up? I'm hungover as shit. 163 00:07:31,370 --> 00:07:33,657 We're playing TechPocalypse. 164 00:07:33,730 --> 00:07:35,778 Mac is a soiled fool, 165 00:07:35,850 --> 00:07:39,138 and I am a gorgeous girl with big cans, 166 00:07:39,210 --> 00:07:41,975 and I'm banging all the fishermen in sight for fish. 167 00:07:42,050 --> 00:07:45,213 And I'm also being catty with all the women in the game, 168 00:07:45,290 --> 00:07:47,133 like I'm a Real Housewife. 169 00:07:47,210 --> 00:07:48,814 Look, Dennis. I-I'm 6'10”. 170 00:07:48,890 --> 00:07:50,574 I've always wanted to be 6'10”. 171 00:07:50,650 --> 00:07:52,573 Hey, look, Mac. You're 5'9”. 172 00:07:52,650 --> 00:07:55,654 And, Frank, you're a man- an ugly old man! 173 00:07:55,730 --> 00:07:57,698 You're not understanding this, Dennis, 174 00:07:57,770 --> 00:08:01,855 but... I think I have something that could help you wrap your head around it. 175 00:08:05,770 --> 00:08:08,421 I've Never had my hair cuz' in a bedroom. 176 00:08:08,490 --> 00:08:11,653 Well, one thing I've learned from cutting hair all these years, Danielle, 177 00:08:11,770 --> 00:08:14,171 is you don 'z' have to go to a high-end salon... 178 00:08:14,250 --> 00:08:16,821 to get a high-end salon-quality cut. 179 00:08:19,570 --> 00:08:21,937 Why are we watching Dennis's sex tape? Shh. 180 00:08:22,050 --> 00:08:25,577 /z's cold. I know. Well, we 'll make i2' hot in a minute. 181 00:08:25,650 --> 00:08:27,732 Don't worry about that. 182 00:08:27,850 --> 00:08:29,500 Well, don't- 183 00:08:29,570 --> 00:08:33,211 Well, it's always-there's always so much-so much preamble. 184 00:08:33,330 --> 00:08:36,777 Okay, here we go. Oh. Oh. Um, all right. 185 00:08:36,890 --> 00:08:38,494 Whoa. 186 00:08:38,570 --> 00:08:41,938 Now, Dennis, how does this make you feel? 187 00:08:42,050 --> 00:08:44,132 Powerful. Yes. 188 00:08:44,210 --> 00:08:48,295 Of course. But how does it affect you... sexually? 189 00:08:49,890 --> 00:08:52,496 - I'm very aroused right now. - I, too, am aroused. 190 00:08:52,610 --> 00:08:54,214 I'm starting to swell up. Yeah. 191 00:08:54,290 --> 00:08:57,499 See, now all three of us are aroused, and there's not a woman in the room. 192 00:08:57,570 --> 00:09:00,335 See, this is no different than sports or video games. 193 00:09:00,410 --> 00:09:02,538 It's all a virtual experience. 194 00:09:02,610 --> 00:09:05,341 No, no, no. Bullshit. This was real, okay? 195 00:09:05,450 --> 00:09:07,339 This happened. I did this. 196 00:09:07,450 --> 00:09:11,899 All right? I drew this woman in, I styled her hair, I entered her with almost no resistance. 197 00:09:11,970 --> 00:09:13,699 I did these things. 198 00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:16,057 You say it's real, but what even is reality? 199 00:09:16,130 --> 00:09:18,451 Yeah, who knows? We don't even know if we're in this room. 200 00:09:18,530 --> 00:09:20,851 We could be in a turtle's dream in outer space. 201 00:09:20,930 --> 00:09:23,695 What are you talking about? I'm gonna go out into the real world again today... 202 00:09:23,770 --> 00:09:25,420 and have real experiences. 203 00:09:25,490 --> 00:09:27,731 I'm gonna draw those people in to me, okay? 204 00:09:27,810 --> 00:09:30,939 A turtle's dream. That's crazy. Lunacy. 205 00:09:36,010 --> 00:09:37,500 'r Yeah If 206 00:09:41,010 --> 00:09:42,500 Tell me something, Queen of Thrones, 207 00:09:42,650 --> 00:09:45,859 how about we stop being enemies, we start becoming friends here, huh? 208 00:09:45,930 --> 00:09:48,456 Charlie, I just got a new nose, 209 00:09:48,530 --> 00:09:50,578 and I'm flying to Miami to get my lips inflated. 210 00:09:50,650 --> 00:09:53,051 Can you hang on one second? Dee, what are you buying? 211 00:09:53,130 --> 00:09:55,258 - How are you paying for that? - We have plenty of money. 212 00:09:55,330 --> 00:09:57,776 I know we have money. We have money because I- 213 00:09:57,850 --> 00:09:59,534 All right. You know what? Yes, fine. 214 00:09:59,610 --> 00:10:02,136 Buy your lips, buy your noses, buy whatever you're gonna buy. 215 00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:05,453 Don't interrupt me when I'm running our tribe, okay? 'Cause that's kind of a big deal. 216 00:10:05,530 --> 00:10:06,816 I know. I'm sorry. So don't interrupt. 217 00:10:06,970 --> 00:10:09,416 Okay. Do me a favor, refill my bowl of energy balls, okay? 218 00:10:09,490 --> 00:10:11,492 - Please. Make yourself useful. - Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 219 00:10:11,570 --> 00:10:13,971 Sorry about that, Queen of Thrones. Let me step into my office here. 220 00:10:14,050 --> 00:10:16,257 Hey, bitch! 221 00:10:18,490 --> 00:10:20,811 Frank, you are SweetPeaches69? 222 00:10:20,890 --> 00:10:22,813 How did you get so many followers? 223 00:10:22,890 --> 00:10:26,656 What can I say? Some girls are more popular than others. 224 00:10:26,730 --> 00:10:28,539 Are you wearing a mink coat? 225 00:10:28,610 --> 00:10:30,180 What, this old thing? 226 00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:32,298 Guy gave it to me for going down on him. 227 00:10:32,410 --> 00:10:34,219 I've been getting a lot of gifts lately. 228 00:10:34,330 --> 00:10:36,651 I just got sent a whole box of peaches- 229 00:10:36,730 --> 00:10:38,300 real ones. 230 00:10:38,370 --> 00:10:41,294 I'm eating like a goddamn islander. 231 00:10:41,370 --> 00:10:44,613 I'm living a pretty classy life these days. 232 00:10:44,690 --> 00:10:46,818 Ooh, you should come to my party. 233 00:10:46,890 --> 00:10:49,461 I'm gonna meet' a lot of my online friends there. 234 00:10:49,530 --> 00:10:52,454 It's gonna be a very classy affair, 235 00:10:52,530 --> 00:10:56,057 but you can come anyway. 236 00:10:56,130 --> 00:10:59,020 Well, look, we could sit here, we could talk cheesesteaks all day long, 237 00:10:59,090 --> 00:11:02,530 but maybe you and I could get together at my bar, settle these things once and for all. 238 00:11:02,570 --> 00:11:04,220 Charlie, we gotta talk. Whoa! 239 00:11:04,290 --> 00:11:06,691 We're going to a party-a real one. Frank's throwing it. 240 00:11:06,770 --> 00:11:08,932 Yes, I know what's going on. I know everything that's happening. 241 00:11:09,010 --> 00:11:10,774 Do you know he has a bunch of followers? 242 00:11:10,850 --> 00:11:13,421 Do you know that he's parading around in a mink coat, and he humiliated me? 243 00:11:13,490 --> 00:11:15,891 I'm a queen, okay? I should be the one wearing mink, 244 00:11:15,970 --> 00:11:17,859 and I should be throwing digs at him. 245 00:11:17,930 --> 00:11:20,251 You know what I mean? I should have a lot more followers. 246 00:11:20,370 --> 00:11:22,054 You want mink, Dee? Yeah. 247 00:11:22,170 --> 00:11:25,811 You want a mink coat? You want a nice, real mink coat? 248 00:11:25,890 --> 00:11:27,574 You know, not a virtual one like Frank? 249 00:11:27,690 --> 00:11:29,533 Don't dick around. Are you serious? I'm dead serious. 250 00:11:29,610 --> 00:11:31,374 I trade with a guy online. He has a clothing store. 251 00:11:31,450 --> 00:11:34,135 I could give him some crops, maybe a follower or two, and he'll give you a mink coat. 252 00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:35,850 For me? A mink coat? Would you like that? 253 00:11:35,890 --> 00:11:37,970 I would love that. You would like that, wouldn't you? 254 00:11:38,050 --> 00:11:39,620 Yeah, yeah. You know how that's not gonna happen? 255 00:11:39,770 --> 00:11:42,290 What? it's not gonna happen if I'm not playing the goddamn game! 256 00:11:43,130 --> 00:11:44,939 Because when I'm not playing the game, 257 00:11:45,050 --> 00:11:47,291 people are attacking our tribe, okay? Yeah. 258 00:11:47,370 --> 00:11:49,611 And that's a lot of pressure. That's a lot of stress. 259 00:11:49,730 --> 00:11:52,654 Too much. It's too much for you. And we could lose everything. We could lose everything... 260 00:11:52,730 --> 00:11:54,175 that we have worked for- 261 00:11:54,290 --> 00:11:56,258 Everything! I wasn't thinking. 262 00:11:56,370 --> 00:11:58,020 No, you're not really the thinking kind though. 263 00:11:58,130 --> 00:12:00,451 I'm kind of the thinking one in the relationship, so-Right. Thank you. 264 00:12:00,570 --> 00:12:03,096 Be pretty. You know, talk to me right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 265 00:12:03,210 --> 00:12:04,939 Get my energy balls. 266 00:12:08,170 --> 00:12:10,901 - Unbelievable. - Hey, Charlie. We need to talk, dude. 267 00:12:11,010 --> 00:12:14,412 Well, well, well. 268 00:12:14,490 --> 00:12:18,540 - If it isn't the soiled fool. - Frank told you about that? 269 00:12:18,610 --> 00:12:21,181 Uh, no. Everyone's talking about it online. It's hilarious. 270 00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:24,459 You destroyed your computer. You bashed it to bits. I'm assuming it got you in the eye. 271 00:12:24,530 --> 00:12:27,130 - Is that what's going on there? - It bashed me back a little bit. 272 00:12:27,170 --> 00:12:29,093 - You should win those fights. You shouldn't lose... I did win! 273 00:12:29,210 --> 00:12:31,133 It just got a couple good shots in. Hey, Charlie. Hey. 274 00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:33,491 Hey, listen, I want to tell you something. What are you doing? Um, Dee- 275 00:12:33,610 --> 00:12:36,341 Yeah? You're not gonna offer our guest any? 276 00:12:38,130 --> 00:12:40,701 Of course I-Of course. That's what I was doing. Yeah. 277 00:12:40,770 --> 00:12:44,377 Hey, Mac. Hey, did you-did you want an energy ball or two? 278 00:12:44,490 --> 00:12:46,492 Yeah. Go ahead. Have as many as you want-Is that enough? 279 00:12:46,610 --> 00:12:47,850 Yeah, that's good. Okay. 280 00:12:47,970 --> 00:12:49,859 There you go. Here you go. You need to fuel up. 281 00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:51,540 Have a bunch of balls. Yeah, I do. Thank you. 282 00:12:51,650 --> 00:12:53,061 Okay. Thank you. 283 00:12:53,170 --> 00:12:54,979 Don't touch. No, no. I know. I didn't mean that. 284 00:12:55,050 --> 00:12:57,132 - And stop groveling. Just... Let me know if you need anything. 285 00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:59,292 You're not pretty when you do that, so- 286 00:12:59,370 --> 00:13:00,940 Wow! 287 00:13:01,010 --> 00:13:03,934 You, like, totally psychologically, like, annihilated her. 288 00:13:04,010 --> 00:13:05,614 - Now look. 289 00:13:05,730 --> 00:13:08,495 You're good at building. I'm good at destroying. We should totally team up. 290 00:13:08,610 --> 00:13:11,011 Wait. You know what? 291 00:13:11,090 --> 00:13:14,060 Can you do me a favor? Can you watch her for a little while... 292 00:13:14,130 --> 00:13:15,894 while I go meet a girl that I met online? 293 00:13:15,970 --> 00:13:17,335 - A real girl? - Yeah, real girl. 294 00:13:17,450 --> 00:13:19,657 - She's probably fat. Fat girl? - She's probably very fat. 295 00:13:19,730 --> 00:13:21,892 Most likely a fat girl. If she's got any fat friends, I'm into that. 296 00:13:21,970 --> 00:13:23,893 - If she has any fat friends, I'll let you know. - Or ugly. 297 00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:26,018 - Yeah. Or ugly. - if they're sick, that's fine too. 298 00:13:26,090 --> 00:13:28,741 Yeah, or ugly or sick or-or male or female, or whatever it is that you like. 299 00:13:28,810 --> 00:13:31,017 That's not the point. The point is, you know how women get. 300 00:13:31,130 --> 00:13:33,531 You know, she catches wind that I'm meeting a girl, she's gonna go- 301 00:13:33,610 --> 00:13:35,260 Oh, totally, totally. I hate women. 302 00:13:35,330 --> 00:13:37,492 Yeah, I know that you feel that way, but... 303 00:13:37,570 --> 00:13:40,176 do what I'm asking, and then I can help you out with the game. 304 00:13:40,290 --> 00:13:41,940 Okay. Do what? 305 00:13:42,010 --> 00:13:44,058 - Watch Dee. - Oh. Okay. Yeah. 306 00:13:46,290 --> 00:13:49,339 Hello. Hi. Anyone? 307 00:13:49,410 --> 00:13:51,811 Come on. Hello. Hi. 308 00:13:51,890 --> 00:13:54,336 It's unbelievable. Does anybody want to experience this? 309 00:13:54,410 --> 00:13:56,981 Anyone want to experience me? For real? 310 00:13:57,050 --> 00:14:00,372 Oasis Sensory Deprivation. 311 00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:03,570 Enter a new dimension. 312 00:14:03,650 --> 00:14:06,779 Change your perception. 313 00:14:08,090 --> 00:14:10,821 Experience a new reality. 314 00:14:11,890 --> 00:14:14,939 Experience a new reality. 315 00:14:18,250 --> 00:14:20,457 Stop getting invested in fake realities. 316 00:14:20,530 --> 00:14:22,578 - I'm 6'10”. - You're 5'9”. 317 00:14:22,650 --> 00:14:25,381 - What even is reality? 318 00:14:25,450 --> 00:14:26,861 - Oh. - This is real. 319 00:14:26,930 --> 00:14:29,376 - How do you do? 320 00:14:29,450 --> 00:14:32,294 We could be in a turtle's dream in outer space. 321 00:14:33,850 --> 00:14:35,693 What is real? 322 00:14:35,770 --> 00:14:38,057 Is this real? Am I? 323 00:14:38,130 --> 00:14:39,734 Who are you? 324 00:14:39,810 --> 00:14:41,300 Oh, I'm you. 325 00:14:41,410 --> 00:14:42,741 Oh. 326 00:14:42,810 --> 00:14:44,414 That's an amazing accent. 327 00:14:44,490 --> 00:14:46,811 I like yours as well. 328 00:14:46,890 --> 00:14:50,019 I think I know what reality is, but maybe I don't. 329 00:14:51,330 --> 00:14:53,731 Everything in life is becoming more and more virtual. 330 00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:56,097 Aw, don't be such a wanker. 331 00:14:56,170 --> 00:14:58,571 Life is all in your mind. 332 00:14:58,650 --> 00:15:01,221 If you believe it to be real, then it's real. 333 00:15:01,290 --> 00:15:04,214 I'm so confused, British Dennis. 334 00:15:04,290 --> 00:15:06,213 You create your own reality. 335 00:15:06,290 --> 00:15:09,419 I've known beggars to be kings and kings to be beggars, 336 00:15:09,490 --> 00:15:11,777 all because they believed it so. 337 00:15:11,850 --> 00:15:13,739 It's your choice. 338 00:15:14,370 --> 00:15:16,372 It's my choice. 339 00:15:17,330 --> 00:15:19,856 It's your universe. 340 00:15:19,930 --> 00:15:22,092 It's my universe. 341 00:15:22,170 --> 00:15:24,411 And you are God. 342 00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:26,819 L... 343 00:15:26,890 --> 00:15:29,052 am God. 344 00:15:37,050 --> 00:15:39,052 Oh. No, no. Oh. Oh, no. 345 00:15:39,130 --> 00:15:41,212 Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. 346 00:15:55,010 --> 00:15:56,660 Charlie? 347 00:15:56,730 --> 00:15:57,891 Hey. 348 00:15:57,970 --> 00:15:59,256 Julie, right? 349 00:15:59,330 --> 00:16:01,901 The Queen of Thrones! 350 00:16:01,970 --> 00:16:04,337 The second most powerful player in the game. 351 00:16:04,450 --> 00:16:06,578 And you are the Mighty Rat Slayer. 352 00:16:06,650 --> 00:16:08,971 'Tis I! 'Tis I! It's nice to meet you. 353 00:16:09,050 --> 00:16:11,735 Yeah, I'm sorry-I'm sorry. I haven't had a chance to tidy myself. 354 00:16:11,810 --> 00:16:14,017 You know, when you're playing the game, you get caught up and- 355 00:16:14,170 --> 00:16:15,774 Have a seat. Have a seat. Okay. 356 00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:18,581 Wow, this is-it's cool to meet someone from the game, you know. 357 00:16:18,690 --> 00:16:20,294 I brought you something. You did? 358 00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:22,134 It's nothing really. It's just, um, 359 00:16:22,210 --> 00:16:24,611 the best cheese steak in Philadelphia. 360 00:16:24,690 --> 00:16:27,057 YOU dog! 361 00:16:27,130 --> 00:16:30,134 Uh, I'll be the judge of that, all right? You little rascal, you. 362 00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:32,537 I don't normally meet people from the game, but-Right. 363 00:16:32,650 --> 00:16:35,221 You seem like such a nice guy. Thanks. Yeah, yeah. 364 00:16:35,290 --> 00:16:36,860 You know- 365 00:16:36,930 --> 00:16:39,331 This is embarrassing, but I got you something too, you know. 366 00:16:39,410 --> 00:16:41,651 I don't want-I don't want to make you feel weird, but here. 367 00:16:41,730 --> 00:16:44,017 Oh. How thoughtful. I wonder what it is. 368 00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:46,331 it's not much. Just a box of spiders. 369 00:16:46,490 --> 00:16:48,891 What the hell? Well, while we've been sitting here, 370 00:16:48,970 --> 00:16:50,813 my followers have burned your land, 371 00:16:50,890 --> 00:16:53,973 they've raped your people, and they've destroyed your tribe. 372 00:16:54,090 --> 00:16:57,299 You thought you could make a move on me, Queen of Thrones? Well, you were wrong. 373 00:16:57,370 --> 00:17:00,214 What? I just wanted to have lunch with you. 374 00:17:00,290 --> 00:17:01,780 Oh, right. 375 00:17:01,850 --> 00:17:05,616 Oh, let's have lunch because we're hungry, and we want to eat food. 376 00:17:05,690 --> 00:17:07,931 Bullshit! You think I'd give up all this for lunch? 377 00:17:08,050 --> 00:17:11,338 You stupid, fat pig. I'm not fat. 378 00:17:11,410 --> 00:17:13,490 No, you're not fat, but you- you were supposed to be. 379 00:17:13,570 --> 00:17:17,052 My friend Mac said you'd be fat. Whatever. You're a dick. 380 00:17:17,130 --> 00:17:18,859 And your breath smells like dog food. 381 00:17:21,850 --> 00:17:23,454 Whatever, you bitch! 382 00:17:23,570 --> 00:17:25,811 I got the power now! 383 00:17:25,890 --> 00:17:29,417 I'm doing good in the game, so I'm doing good in life! 384 00:17:33,690 --> 00:17:35,931 Oh. Look who's here. 385 00:17:36,010 --> 00:17:39,219 Well, it's nice that you came. A little overdressed. 386 00:17:39,290 --> 00:17:41,179 You said this was a classy affair, Frank. 387 00:17:41,250 --> 00:17:43,730 It was a classy affair until you showed up. 388 00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:47,055 You bitch. 389 00:17:47,130 --> 00:17:50,657 Where are your 101 dalmatians tonight? 390 00:17:50,730 --> 00:17:52,892 — He's better at the zings than you. 391 00:17:52,970 --> 00:17:55,257 That bitch. I totally burned her. All right, Dee. 392 00:17:55,330 --> 00:17:57,731 Give me your phone, give me your headset. I gotta get back online ASAP. 393 00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:00,893 I just made some big things happen. Big things, baby! Boom! 394 00:18:00,970 --> 00:18:02,301 No. 395 00:18:02,370 --> 00:18:04,099 She's not with you anymore, bro. 396 00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:06,741 Hold on. Shut up. Wh-Why is the soiled fool talking to me? 397 00:18:06,810 --> 00:18:08,972 I don't need you anymore, Charlie. I'd like a divorce. 398 00:18:09,050 --> 00:18:11,417 Ooh! 399 00:18:11,490 --> 00:18:13,891 Wait. What are you talking about? 400 00:18:13,970 --> 00:18:16,170 I know you were gonna leave me for the Queen of Thrones, 401 00:18:16,250 --> 00:18:18,378 so I've slept with Mac to humiliate you. 402 00:18:18,450 --> 00:18:22,057 She's humiliated you and herself by sleeping with me. 403 00:18:22,170 --> 00:18:24,298 - I'm good at the game now. - Oh, my God, Dee. You stupid idiot. 404 00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:25,860 Do you have a brain in your head? 405 00:18:25,930 --> 00:18:28,979 I was tricking that girl so that I could destroy her tribe. 406 00:18:29,050 --> 00:18:31,417 We're the most powerful tribe in the whole game now! What are you doing? 407 00:18:31,490 --> 00:18:35,461 You know, I-l guess maybe I hadn't really thought the whole thing through. 408 00:18:35,530 --> 00:18:39,740 No, you didn't think! Because you don't think! 409 00:18:39,810 --> 00:18:42,495 You're just a stupid kept housewife, okay? 410 00:18:42,610 --> 00:18:43,975 Zing it, girl! 411 00:18:44,050 --> 00:18:45,973 Frank, shut the hell up! 412 00:18:46,050 --> 00:18:48,894 How dare you all conspire against me! 413 00:18:48,970 --> 00:18:51,894 How dare you! You know what? I want everyone out. 414 00:18:51,970 --> 00:18:53,859 Everyone get out of my apartment, okay? 415 00:18:53,930 --> 00:18:57,013 No, not you, not you and not you. The three of you, sit. 416 00:18:58,090 --> 00:19:00,252 Get out! 417 00:19:01,730 --> 00:19:03,573 Okay, I think we can all agree... 418 00:19:03,650 --> 00:19:06,256 that this game is the most important thing that ever happened to us, right? 419 00:19:06,330 --> 00:19:08,094 - Absolutely, yeah. - It's very important. 420 00:19:08,210 --> 00:19:10,417 That's true. It's a hugely important thing. 421 00:19:10,490 --> 00:19:12,936 So, because I'm a nice guy, 422 00:19:13,010 --> 00:19:15,172 you know, 'cause I'm a cool dude, 423 00:19:15,250 --> 00:19:17,173 I'll let you live, all right? 424 00:19:17,250 --> 00:19:20,732 But, Mac and Frank, you gotta give me your shares of Paddy's Pub. Done! 425 00:19:20,850 --> 00:19:22,340 What? Yes! 426 00:19:22,410 --> 00:19:24,890 And, Dee, you're gonna have to do all the Charlie work in the bar... 427 00:19:24,970 --> 00:19:27,337 from here till-oh, I don't know-how's eternity sound? 428 00:19:27,410 --> 00:19:29,333 Stop, Charlie! 429 00:19:30,730 --> 00:19:34,098 This game has gone on-[Accent Falters ] long enough. 430 00:19:34,170 --> 00:19:36,013 - Oh, shit. - Are you doing an accent? 431 00:19:36,090 --> 00:19:38,536 - Yeah, I was doing a British-It was a British accent. - That was British? 432 00:19:38,610 --> 00:19:41,534 I had it so good in my head. Oh, I was doing a really good British accent. 433 00:19:41,610 --> 00:19:43,100 Doesn't matter. Anyway- 434 00:19:43,210 --> 00:19:46,020 Charlie, you think you have all the power? 435 00:19:46,130 --> 00:19:47,734 Well, you don't. 436 00:19:47,810 --> 00:19:50,575 You see, the only thing bigger than a king... 437 00:19:50,650 --> 00:19:52,175 is a god. 438 00:19:52,250 --> 00:19:54,935 You think you're a god? I'm the one who's thriving, Dennis. 439 00:19:55,010 --> 00:19:57,012 I mean, look at me. 440 00:19:57,090 --> 00:19:59,013 You look like you're covered in Hawaiian Punch. 441 00:19:59,090 --> 00:20:00,979 Yeah? 442 00:20:01,050 --> 00:20:02,575 - Yeah. - Mmm. 443 00:20:02,690 --> 00:20:05,899 I am the god of my own universe, Charlie. 444 00:20:05,970 --> 00:20:11,295 I decide my own reality, and I've decided all of your realities as well. 445 00:20:11,370 --> 00:20:14,658 So, you see, I unplugged it. 446 00:20:15,490 --> 00:20:18,016 You... unplugged reality? 447 00:20:18,130 --> 00:20:20,053 I don't understand what he's saying. Me neither. 448 00:20:20,130 --> 00:20:22,531 I just-I deleted all of your characters from the game. 449 00:20:22,610 --> 00:20:25,261 - What? - I erased all your people. 450 00:20:25,330 --> 00:20:27,219 - How did you do that? - Well, it was easy. 451 00:20:27,330 --> 00:20:29,617 You guys all have the same password- “paddyspub.” Shit. 452 00:20:29,690 --> 00:20:31,570 Oh, that's my password for everything. Mine too. 453 00:20:31,650 --> 00:20:33,140 Yeah. Why would you do that though? 454 00:20:33,210 --> 00:20:34,860 Why would you delete our characters? 455 00:20:34,970 --> 00:20:36,699 Because the goddamn game was irritating to me. 456 00:20:36,770 --> 00:20:39,455 I thought it was really stupid, and it really is just, you know, 457 00:20:39,530 --> 00:20:41,259 sort of that simple, so I ended the game, you know. 458 00:20:41,330 --> 00:20:42,855 That's the end. 459 00:20:42,930 --> 00:20:45,536 Doesn't have to be a whole big thing every single time, you know. 460 00:20:45,650 --> 00:20:48,381 That's life. That's just sort of how-how shit goes. 461 00:20:48,450 --> 00:20:53,536 Sometimes things just sort of... end.