1 00:00:03,005 --> 00:00:04,668 A reading from the Holy Bible. 2 00:00:04,694 --> 00:00:08,097 Genesis, chapter one. "God created the heaven and the earth, 3 00:00:08,116 --> 00:00:11,299 and the earth was without form and void, and darkness was 4 00:00:11,323 --> 00:00:12,436 - upon the face of the deep..." Hey, buddy, do we 5 00:00:12,467 --> 00:00:13,817 have to be kneeling this entire time? 6 00:00:13,867 --> 00:00:15,415 - Yeah, this is not comfortable. - I mean, it's gonna get uncomfortable. 7 00:00:15,446 --> 00:00:19,504 Yes, you need to be kneeling. It's 11:58, and Mac Day's about to officially start. 8 00:00:19,529 --> 00:00:20,698 I want there to be ceremony. 9 00:00:20,728 --> 00:00:22,634 Are we gonna be in the dark the whole time? 10 00:00:22,652 --> 00:00:24,962 My goodness, this is a lot of complaining. 11 00:00:24,994 --> 00:00:26,994 Charlie, can you please remind everyone of the rules? 12 00:00:27,013 --> 00:00:28,926 We are about to officially begin Mac Day. 13 00:00:28,944 --> 00:00:32,592 For the entirety of this day, we will forced to do everything Mac wants us to do. 14 00:00:32,617 --> 00:00:34,123 And if anyone is caught complaining? 15 00:00:34,148 --> 00:00:36,094 An extra day is added to Mac Day. 16 00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:37,930 If you cannot resist the urge to complain, 17 00:00:37,948 --> 00:00:41,621 you are allowed one scream a day to the ceremonial screaming pillow. That's right. 18 00:00:41,662 --> 00:00:43,019 Charlie, when it was your day, 19 00:00:43,633 --> 00:00:45,906 for goblins for ten hours straight? 20 00:00:45,924 --> 00:00:47,846 Well, ghouls, and, no, they didn't complain, 21 00:00:47,873 --> 00:00:49,951 - 'cause we found three. It was pretty sweet. - We found none. 22 00:00:49,979 --> 00:00:52,077 - Yeah? - We found no ghouls, we found no goblins, 23 00:00:52,092 --> 00:00:54,325 - we found no gremlins, because they don't exist. - Well... 24 00:00:54,452 --> 00:00:57,913 Guys, this whole thing was meant to bring us closer together, 25 00:00:58,076 --> 00:01:00,736 and by the end of it, you're gonna feel a little bit closer to me, 26 00:01:01,052 --> 00:01:04,728 - and if I've done my job right, a little bit closer to God. - Yes. 27 00:01:05,063 --> 00:01:08,970 Because I've modeled my day after the seven days of God's creation, 28 00:01:08,990 --> 00:01:11,266 making my one day feel like an entire week. 29 00:01:11,275 --> 00:01:13,220 - Oh! - Come on, man. 30 00:01:13,243 --> 00:01:14,755 - Really? - For crying out loud, my knees are... 31 00:01:15,048 --> 00:01:17,401 Three, two, one, begin! 32 00:01:18,556 --> 00:01:22,205 On the first day, God said, "Let there be... 33 00:01:24,702 --> 00:01:25,794 Mac." 34 00:01:37,118 --> 00:01:47,118 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 35 00:01:48,340 --> 00:01:50,184 Seven straight hours of lecturing? 36 00:01:50,204 --> 00:01:53,696 Yeah, and five hours alone dedicated to the evils of homosexuality... from him? 37 00:01:53,721 --> 00:01:56,656 Did anyone else notice that he had an erection the entire time? 38 00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:58,175 - Of course. - How could you miss it? 39 00:01:58,199 --> 00:01:59,427 - I mean, it was, like, shooting... - It was right there. 40 00:01:59,462 --> 00:02:00,912 Shh, shh, shh— here he comes. 41 00:02:01,081 --> 00:02:03,981 Okay, guys, I want to introduce a new theme to the day. 42 00:02:04,140 --> 00:02:07,942 So I'd like to infuse the religious angle with the theme of badass. 43 00:02:07,944 --> 00:02:10,166 And I quote once again from Genesis. 44 00:02:10,206 --> 00:02:13,649 "And God said, 'Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, 45 00:02:13,754 --> 00:02:16,311 and let it divide the waters from the waters.' 46 00:02:16,357 --> 00:02:18,702 And God made the firmament and divided the waters which were 47 00:02:18,713 --> 00:02:22,241 under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament. 48 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:23,863 And it was so." 49 00:02:23,902 --> 00:02:26,521 - There you have it. - There we have what? 50 00:02:26,546 --> 00:02:28,484 Uh, the what...? What are you saying? 51 00:02:28,779 --> 00:02:30,889 It's water. I'm saying "water," 52 00:02:30,913 --> 00:02:33,011 'cause it said water, like, eight times. So, it's water. 53 00:02:33,012 --> 00:02:34,536 That's what the whole thing is— water. 54 00:02:34,569 --> 00:02:37,573 - Water what? - Water and badass, badass and water. 55 00:02:37,597 --> 00:02:38,760 - Ah. - Yes! 56 00:02:38,781 --> 00:02:41,073 We're doing a Project Badass video over the Schuylkill River. 57 00:02:41,097 --> 00:02:43,306 - Yes! Yes! - Ah! - Yes! 58 00:02:43,339 --> 00:02:45,706 - Ah. - All right! Hey! 59 00:02:46,427 --> 00:02:47,913 Do you guys hear the motorcycle? 60 00:02:47,950 --> 00:02:52,388 I have another special surprise. We will be joined by my cousin all day! 61 00:02:52,413 --> 00:02:54,619 - Your cousin? - Yeah, my cousin from the country. 62 00:02:54,676 --> 00:02:56,982 I haven't seen him in, like, forever, but, guys, trust me. 63 00:02:57,001 --> 00:03:00,189 He's, like, the second biggest badass I know, so it's gonna be awesome. 64 00:03:00,270 --> 00:03:02,540 Country Mac coming to the big city. 65 00:03:05,978 --> 00:03:07,906 - Country Mac! - Hey, City Mac! 66 00:03:21,227 --> 00:03:23,630 Holy shit, there's two of them. 67 00:03:26,836 --> 00:03:29,645 Okay, I think I like this framing. 68 00:03:29,663 --> 00:03:32,417 I don't even know what it is you want us to do. 69 00:03:32,761 --> 00:03:35,229 Well, I'm gonna jump from the Strawberry Mansion Bridge. 70 00:03:35,261 --> 00:03:36,336 - What? - Yes! 71 00:03:36,361 --> 00:03:38,123 - Holy shit! - What do you mean, from it? - To the water? 72 00:03:38,161 --> 00:03:40,551 - What? - Yeah, I'm gonna jump from the top of the bridge to the water. 73 00:03:40,565 --> 00:03:42,405 Okay, I need you to act like concerned citizens, 74 00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:44,283 but I need this to feel real, okay, guys? 75 00:03:44,439 --> 00:03:47,589 So, I need you to be neutral about the jumper prior to the jump, 76 00:03:47,614 --> 00:03:49,694 'cause you don't know me. You don't know this man. 77 00:03:49,719 --> 00:03:52,229 But I need you to react at the same time 78 00:03:52,261 --> 00:03:54,884 because I need to draw the jump in later to match your reaction. 79 00:03:54,909 --> 00:03:56,997 You lost me there. What do you mean, "Draw the jump?" 80 00:03:57,024 --> 00:03:59,030 - You're not jumping? - No, I'm not gonna jump. 81 00:03:59,049 --> 00:04:00,268 Of course I wouldn't jump. 82 00:04:00,293 --> 00:04:03,571 I draw it in later because it's like a post effect. 83 00:04:03,596 --> 00:04:05,159 Well, what's badass about that? 84 00:04:05,184 --> 00:04:07,078 Your reaction is badass, you know? 85 00:04:07,103 --> 00:04:10,342 I want you to scream, "Badass! You know, that dude is badass! 86 00:04:10,367 --> 00:04:12,680 I've never seen anything as badass as that." You know? Oh... 87 00:04:12,717 --> 00:04:14,890 But don't say my name, 'cause you don't know this man. 88 00:04:14,911 --> 00:04:16,886 That's why it feels real, you know? 89 00:04:16,911 --> 00:04:19,839 Now, later, if you want to do, like, a Rudy-type situation 90 00:04:19,845 --> 00:04:22,684 where you carry me through the streets of Philadelphia, you know, that's cool. 91 00:04:22,709 --> 00:04:24,334 - We won't. - I can put that in the schedule. 92 00:04:24,357 --> 00:04:26,476 - It's not a post effect? - No, that's a practical fect, 93 00:04:26,501 --> 00:04:28,843 that would happen real, but only if it's organic, you know? 94 00:04:28,855 --> 00:04:31,963 - This is a goddamn mess, this whole thing's a goddamn mess. - I'm lost, I'm lost. 95 00:04:31,993 --> 00:04:33,811 You're not gonna be badass, but you're gonna... 96 00:04:33,831 --> 00:04:36,181 This is all sounding a little bit like a complaint from you guys. 97 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,852 Who's complaining? We don't know what's going on! 98 00:04:40,154 --> 00:04:41,050 We don't know you. 99 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:44,274 Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac! 100 00:04:44,318 --> 00:04:46,947 - Badass! Badass! Badass! - Badass! Badass! 101 00:04:46,966 --> 00:04:49,039 All right, Country Mac, let's do... Keep it going. Keep it going. 102 00:04:49,046 --> 00:04:50,912 - All right. - Let's do this! Let's do this! 103 00:04:51,409 --> 00:04:53,028 Badass. Badass. 104 00:04:57,742 --> 00:05:00,301 It's pretty high, it's good. It's excellent, it's gonna be great. 105 00:05:00,327 --> 00:05:02,558 You better jump quick before somebody tries to stop you. 106 00:05:02,583 --> 00:05:04,602 Trust me, no one's gonna try and stop me. 107 00:05:04,625 --> 00:05:05,973 Jump, asshole! 108 00:05:05,992 --> 00:05:09,255 Yep. See, in the big city, nobody cares whether you live or die. 109 00:05:09,323 --> 00:05:10,718 Jump, you pussy! 110 00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:12,788 All right, have a nice day. 111 00:05:13,401 --> 00:05:15,683 Okay, so, I'm gonna run to the end, 112 00:05:16,457 --> 00:05:20,290 book as fast as I can to the fence, climb up to the top, stop, 113 00:05:20,315 --> 00:05:22,434 climb back down to safety. That's it. 114 00:05:22,933 --> 00:05:25,276 - So, you're not gonna jump? - I don't jump, okay? 115 00:05:25,301 --> 00:05:27,132 Why does everybody think I jump? Nobody jumps. 116 00:05:27,157 --> 00:05:30,101 Evel Knievel didn't jump. Johnny Knoxville doesn't jump. 117 00:05:30,339 --> 00:05:33,433 Okay, this is big Hollywood stuff, okay? Just stand back. 118 00:05:33,470 --> 00:05:36,525 I don't want you to get hurt. Let me handle it. 119 00:05:40,205 --> 00:05:43,110 Oh, wow! Oh, there's a man standing on the bridge. 120 00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:44,493 - What? - Yes, he looks like... 121 00:05:44,508 --> 00:05:46,108 - Look at that. - His name is Mac. 122 00:05:46,127 --> 00:05:47,821 - No, we don't know his name. - We don't know it. 123 00:05:47,834 --> 00:05:49,337 - Oh. - His name is Rudy, I believe, you guys. 124 00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:50,595 That's what it was— Rudy. 125 00:05:50,615 --> 00:05:53,426 We don't know what his name is, and that's okay, but we don't know each other. 126 00:05:53,448 --> 00:05:54,826 - Hi. - How are you? 127 00:05:55,032 --> 00:05:56,564 - Nice to meet you. - Oh, hi, hi, but it looks like 128 00:05:56,572 --> 00:05:58,605 - he may commit suicide. - Ah! 129 00:05:58,738 --> 00:06:00,201 - Oh! - Suicide is badass. 130 00:06:00,226 --> 00:06:02,278 - Right! - No, no, no, no, Rudy's not trying to kill himself. 131 00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:04,026 - We don't know his name. - He just likes to jump, I guess. 132 00:06:04,051 --> 00:06:07,438 Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. Mac is the one who's the badass, remember that. 133 00:06:07,467 --> 00:06:10,558 Will you stop, stop, stop? Everybody stop. Come on, guys. What are we doing? 134 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:12,687 - I don't know what we're doing. - We got to get on the same page. 135 00:06:12,700 --> 00:06:14,893 - It's so unclear. He gave us, like... - Don't know what we're doing. 136 00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,679 Well, whatever it is, we got to get on the same page. 137 00:06:16,700 --> 00:06:19,270 Otherwise, we're gonna have to do it over and over and over... 138 00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:23,153 - Did someone just go plop? - Looked like it. - Someone just jumped. Someone jumped. 139 00:06:23,170 --> 00:06:25,358 He jumped! That's it! He jumped, guys! He jumped! 140 00:06:25,383 --> 00:06:26,977 The day's over, the day's over. 141 00:06:26,999 --> 00:06:29,079 Country Mac is gone, he's dead. Let's get out of here. 142 00:06:29,173 --> 00:06:31,167 - Look! Look, look, look! - What? What? Oh. 143 00:06:31,232 --> 00:06:33,157 - Whoa! - Oh, holy shit! 144 00:06:33,188 --> 00:06:35,688 - Oh, my God! - Oh, wow! Wow! - Whoa! 145 00:06:35,707 --> 00:06:37,616 Well, how'd that look? 146 00:06:37,651 --> 00:06:39,887 - Oh, amazing! All right! - How did it look? 147 00:06:39,912 --> 00:06:42,349 - How'd it look? Badass! - It looked badass, dude. 148 00:06:42,512 --> 00:06:43,943 I cannot believe you jumped. 149 00:06:43,968 --> 00:06:46,046 - No, that's not really badass, guys. - Whoa! 150 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:47,320 That's dangerous. 151 00:06:47,345 --> 00:06:50,114 Um, can we put him on our shoulders and parade him around like Rudy? 152 00:06:50,129 --> 00:06:51,764 I'm feeling that now. I want to do that. 153 00:06:51,781 --> 00:06:53,100 - I'm feeling that now. - Yeah, yeah... 154 00:06:53,142 --> 00:06:55,370 No, no, no, no, no, I don't think that's gonna work anymore. 155 00:06:55,399 --> 00:06:57,505 That's not gonna fit into our schedule, you know? 156 00:06:57,530 --> 00:07:00,543 - I mean... I mean, it was your idea... - No, we're very full. We're very full now. 157 00:07:00,562 --> 00:07:03,187 This is not gonna play. We're gonna move on to day four now. 158 00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:05,158 Well, wait, wait, wait, wait. You skipped day three. 159 00:07:05,402 --> 00:07:08,807 Uh, day three is when God created trees and grass and nature. 160 00:07:08,832 --> 00:07:11,439 You know, kind of a bullshit day, so we're gonna move on 161 00:07:11,736 --> 00:07:14,948 to day four where God created the stars. 162 00:07:18,854 --> 00:07:22,681 If you look at the Orion constellation and then track across to the Big Dipper, 163 00:07:22,706 --> 00:07:24,984 you'll see a gaseous, cloud-like area. 164 00:07:25,020 --> 00:07:28,512 Okay, I'm gonna need you guys to go ahead 165 00:07:28,540 --> 00:07:31,282 and ignore everything that this clown is saying. 166 00:07:31,782 --> 00:07:34,438 God created the stars 5,000 years ago. 167 00:07:34,461 --> 00:07:36,225 Uh, who has the pillow? I need a pillow. 168 00:07:37,356 --> 00:07:40,890 I think I thought of a way that we can work day three into this experience. 169 00:07:40,990 --> 00:07:42,303 No, we're on day four. 170 00:07:42,328 --> 00:07:44,978 And, besides, there's no trees or herbs in the planetarium. 171 00:07:45,003 --> 00:07:46,955 - But there's herb. - Hmm? 172 00:07:47,030 --> 00:07:48,349 Who wants to smoke a "J"? 173 00:07:48,356 --> 00:07:52,475 - Oh, shit. You brought weed? - No, no, no, we're not smoking weed, okay? 174 00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:54,509 It's still illegal in the state of Pennsylvania. 175 00:07:54,534 --> 00:07:56,398 - Puff, puff, pass, bitches. - Yeah. 176 00:07:56,426 --> 00:07:58,788 Yeah, come on, Mac, shut up. I thought you were a badass. 177 00:07:59,194 --> 00:08:02,644 There's nothing badass about breaking the law, Charlie. 178 00:08:03,231 --> 00:08:05,012 This is gonna make it way more fun, dude. 179 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:08,282 This isn't about fun. It's about fearing God, okay? 180 00:08:08,293 --> 00:08:09,793 I'm trying to convert you guys. 181 00:08:09,818 --> 00:08:13,252 Oh, my God, is that what this is about? You're not gonna convert me in one day. 182 00:08:13,277 --> 00:08:14,452 I don't believe in God. 183 00:08:14,477 --> 00:08:16,530 Well, you should. Because if you don't, 184 00:08:16,548 --> 00:08:19,446 God will make a flood or a famine, okay? 185 00:08:19,471 --> 00:08:23,451 He will destroy you with tornadoes and earthquakes and AIDS. 186 00:08:23,477 --> 00:08:27,021 Where do you think AIDS came from? Uh, hello, God's gift to the gays. 187 00:08:27,047 --> 00:08:29,014 - Oh... - Oh, my God. 188 00:08:29,046 --> 00:08:30,808 You're gonna ruin this high, dude. 189 00:08:30,828 --> 00:08:32,994 Mac, I think you're a little confused there. 190 00:08:33,266 --> 00:08:36,747 I mean, yeah, sure, bad things do happen. 191 00:08:37,036 --> 00:08:39,792 - But what about sunsets? - Oh... 192 00:08:40,210 --> 00:08:42,128 - French kisses. - Oh... 193 00:08:42,144 --> 00:08:44,513 - The smell of rain. - Yeah. 194 00:08:44,533 --> 00:08:47,758 - That's why I believe in God. - Yeah. 195 00:08:48,950 --> 00:08:51,599 Not because of the things that he takes away from us but 196 00:08:51,621 --> 00:08:53,922 because of the things that he gives to us. 197 00:08:54,155 --> 00:08:57,126 - Oh... dude. - Shit, dude. 198 00:08:57,157 --> 00:08:58,838 You just ripped a hole in my mind. 199 00:08:58,859 --> 00:09:00,597 See, that's the God I-I... I like that. 200 00:09:00,614 --> 00:09:02,939 - I'm choosing that one. - Excuse me, who's talking back there? 201 00:09:02,996 --> 00:09:04,997 Shut up, science bitch. 202 00:09:07,669 --> 00:09:10,038 - Yeah. - Yeah, shut up, science bitch! 203 00:09:10,063 --> 00:09:12,788 - Aw, dude, dude, dude. - Come on, man. He just said it. 204 00:09:12,815 --> 00:09:15,036 - He just said it. - He just did it. 205 00:09:20,633 --> 00:09:22,933 Oh. What the hell? 206 00:09:26,260 --> 00:09:29,466 Carbs-wise, this is gonna set me back, but I don't even give a shit. 207 00:09:30,488 --> 00:09:31,863 Yes. 208 00:09:31,980 --> 00:09:33,764 - Country Mac's awesome. - Yes. 209 00:09:34,290 --> 00:09:36,271 - Yeah. - This weed that he gave us is awesome. 210 00:09:36,296 --> 00:09:38,941 - It's... Yes. - Yeah. 211 00:09:39,710 --> 00:09:43,106 All these years I've been feeling like I hate karate. 212 00:09:43,901 --> 00:09:47,059 And, like, I hate Project Badass and, like... 213 00:09:48,709 --> 00:09:50,415 - I hate God. - Yes. 214 00:09:50,810 --> 00:09:52,273 But, like... 215 00:09:52,735 --> 00:09:54,491 I realize... 216 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,760 you know what I really hate... 217 00:09:58,528 --> 00:10:00,329 - is Mac. - Yes. 218 00:10:00,540 --> 00:10:03,985 Like, he's made all those cool things suck. 219 00:10:04,755 --> 00:10:08,544 Not only is he, like, rui... ning my life... 220 00:10:09,149 --> 00:10:12,084 but with all this God shit that he's into... 221 00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:15,503 - he could be ruining my afterlife. - Yes. 222 00:10:18,897 --> 00:10:21,352 - I thought that one was gonna... - Let me try. 223 00:10:28,677 --> 00:10:32,108 - So... - Yeah, I get that. 224 00:10:38,174 --> 00:10:41,003 Okay, I feel like we got a little bit off the rails back there, 225 00:10:41,124 --> 00:10:42,262 but I'm ready to get back on. 226 00:10:42,289 --> 00:10:45,677 Dude, did you guys see the way Country Mac was riding his motorcycle? 227 00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:48,558 - Yeah. Badass, dude! - No, it was reckless once again. 228 00:10:48,608 --> 00:10:50,911 - Come on, it was awesome! - He was like Batman, 229 00:10:50,941 --> 00:10:52,070 just zipping through the cars. 230 00:10:52,095 --> 00:10:53,783 He beat us here by, like, an hour. 231 00:10:53,801 --> 00:10:56,965 - Oh, I want to get a motorcycle, man. - Dude, we should all get motorcycles! 232 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,482 Okay, that's enough! Okay? 233 00:10:58,501 --> 00:11:00,535 Enough about Country Mac. It's still my day. 234 00:11:00,547 --> 00:11:01,641 - Yeah. - Thank you. 235 00:11:01,662 --> 00:11:04,843 On the fifth day, God made fish, so we'll just skip right past that. 236 00:11:04,863 --> 00:11:06,707 Yeah, we'll skip that. You're skipping a lot of days, dude. 237 00:11:06,719 --> 00:11:08,793 Well, you can't fit it all into one day. That's preposterous. 238 00:11:08,811 --> 00:11:11,604 You're the one who came up with the structure, so... that's preposterous. 239 00:11:11,627 --> 00:11:13,346 All right, on the sixth day, 240 00:11:13,371 --> 00:11:18,046 God created the beasts of the earth and he made man in his own image. 241 00:11:18,866 --> 00:11:22,932 And beholdeth... the image of God. 242 00:11:25,849 --> 00:11:27,849 Oh, shit. 243 00:11:29,867 --> 00:11:32,701 Okay, everybody grab some grease. 244 00:11:33,117 --> 00:11:35,836 - Why? - Because we're gonna grease up these beefcakes. 245 00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:38,130 No! No! Come on! No! 246 00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:40,766 - Take it easy, Frank. - Frank, you better take it easy! 247 00:11:41,210 --> 00:11:44,613 Listen! These guys work off their beautiful glutes for our enjoyment, okay? 248 00:11:45,087 --> 00:11:48,632 The least we can do is pay them back in tan and grease. 249 00:11:50,596 --> 00:11:51,695 - Greasing dudes. - Yep. 250 00:11:51,715 --> 00:11:53,382 - That's why we're here today. - I ain't doing this! 251 00:11:53,408 --> 00:11:54,714 About time you guys got here. 252 00:11:54,738 --> 00:11:58,181 - Hey, there you are. - Country Mac, man. Hey, bro. 253 00:11:58,204 --> 00:11:59,835 Listen, dude, can you get us out of here? 254 00:11:59,861 --> 00:12:01,212 Yeah, you got to get us out of here, man. 255 00:12:01,237 --> 00:12:03,543 Get out of here? I'm lovin' it. 256 00:12:03,566 --> 00:12:05,359 I've been gettin' phone numbers left and right. 257 00:12:05,372 --> 00:12:07,605 Oh, sweet, there's chicks here? 258 00:12:07,932 --> 00:12:10,867 Chicks? No. Dudes. 259 00:12:11,118 --> 00:12:14,970 - I'm into dudes. - Oh... you're gay. 260 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:17,149 Loud and proud, brother. Loud and proud. 261 00:12:17,183 --> 00:12:19,914 - Yeah, ain't nothing wrong with that. - There's nothing wrong with that. 262 00:12:19,946 --> 00:12:21,660 Honestly, it's, like, refreshing to hear. 263 00:12:21,687 --> 00:12:23,654 You know what, happy hunting, bro, get after it. 264 00:12:23,673 --> 00:12:27,061 - Cool, cool, cool. I'll see you all in a little bit. - Cool, yeah, yeah. 265 00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:29,460 - See, he doesn't want us to grease them, you know? - God, that's awesome. 266 00:12:29,492 --> 00:12:31,337 - Because he wants them. - It doe... Right. 267 00:12:31,368 --> 00:12:33,472 - He wants them for himself. - It's so much more comfortable 268 00:12:33,493 --> 00:12:35,399 when someone's gay and open about it. 269 00:12:35,425 --> 00:12:38,280 And, like, I know we've never said this as a group, but... Mac's gay. 270 00:12:38,296 --> 00:12:39,420 - Yeah, Mac's gay. - He's gay. 271 00:12:39,446 --> 00:12:41,644 - He's gay. - I mean... okay... smiles. 272 00:12:41,706 --> 00:12:44,294 Hey! Hey! What's with all the chitchat? 273 00:12:44,325 --> 00:12:46,142 Legs and hammies are drying up by the second. 274 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:48,027 We got stoned and we're uncomfortable. 275 00:12:48,041 --> 00:12:49,546 We're trying to deal with the whole thing. 276 00:12:49,562 --> 00:12:52,207 You guys need to start greasing some dudes or I'm gonna freak out, all right? 277 00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:54,088 I'm gonna freak out, and I'm gonna add another day! 278 00:12:54,113 --> 00:12:56,082 No, no, no. We'll grease, we'll grease, we'll grease. 279 00:12:56,101 --> 00:12:58,795 - Give me the grease. - We'll grease the dudes and... 280 00:12:58,814 --> 00:13:00,183 Okay, that's what I like to hear. 281 00:13:00,214 --> 00:13:01,967 But don't blow your wads on these guys, okay? 282 00:13:01,984 --> 00:13:04,562 I mean... We still have the karate tournament. 283 00:13:04,587 --> 00:13:07,303 - We're gonna watch you fight? - Fight? No. 284 00:13:07,325 --> 00:13:10,679 No, day seven is God's day of rest and judgment. 285 00:13:10,704 --> 00:13:14,338 So I'm gonna sit back and watch and judge everybody else in the tournament. 286 00:13:14,370 --> 00:13:17,376 Hey, Mac. I'm drying up over here. 287 00:13:18,106 --> 00:13:20,106 Sorry, Big Moe. Sorry about that. 288 00:13:20,431 --> 00:13:22,525 I'll be right there. Get to work. Get to work. 289 00:13:22,552 --> 00:13:24,352 - Grease 'em up, come on. - Yeah, okay. 290 00:13:24,413 --> 00:13:25,426 - All right. - Yeah. 291 00:13:25,443 --> 00:13:27,387 - All right, bud. - He's got the boner again. 292 00:13:27,415 --> 00:13:28,926 Yeah. Yeah. 293 00:13:28,951 --> 00:13:30,951 - Well, at least this time it makes sense, huh? - Hmm. 294 00:13:31,199 --> 00:13:34,293 All right, listen. I got an idea. 295 00:13:40,388 --> 00:13:43,030 - Ooh, I don't know about this. - This doesn't feel right. 296 00:13:43,053 --> 00:13:44,753 No, this is good. This is gonna be good for him. 297 00:13:44,778 --> 00:13:47,964 I promise. This is the only way. Oh! Hey. 298 00:13:48,048 --> 00:13:50,648 I got you guys all notebooks and pens. 299 00:13:50,662 --> 00:13:53,325 We're gonna start with the yellow belts 'cause it's an inferior class. 300 00:13:53,350 --> 00:13:55,381 Actually, we've got a surprise for you, Mac. 301 00:13:55,406 --> 00:13:58,350 - Yeah. We signed you up. You're competing. - Huh? 302 00:13:58,377 --> 00:14:00,904 You're gonna go fight a guy. A black belt actually. 303 00:14:00,929 --> 00:14:03,635 - You're in the tournament. - No, no, I-I don't think that's a good idea. 304 00:14:03,904 --> 00:14:05,925 Mostly because I don't have the right gear, 305 00:14:05,950 --> 00:14:07,219 - and I'm not... - You're wearing a gi. 306 00:14:07,237 --> 00:14:08,758 - You are wearing a gi. - Yeah, that is the gear. 307 00:14:08,777 --> 00:14:10,890 - That's the only gear. - I notice you're also wearing a black belt. 308 00:14:10,910 --> 00:14:14,966 - Now, you are a black belt, correct? - Um, not technicaly. 309 00:14:15,023 --> 00:14:19,287 Um, only because I haven't subscribed to one... discipline. 310 00:14:19,324 --> 00:14:21,396 But you are good enough to fight in a black belt tournament. 311 00:14:21,397 --> 00:14:22,940 - 'Cause you're wearing a black belt. - Of course. 312 00:14:22,974 --> 00:14:25,037 Shit, Mac, you can do it. Just go right for the guy's throat. 313 00:14:25,054 --> 00:14:25,909 I know I can do it. 314 00:14:25,931 --> 00:14:28,725 That's not the... I feel like you're talking a lot throughout the day. 315 00:14:28,938 --> 00:14:31,951 - I know I can do it. - So if you can do it, then do it. 316 00:14:31,984 --> 00:14:33,579 I'll sign up if Mac doesn't want to. 317 00:14:33,607 --> 00:14:36,413 I'm gonna do it. I said I was... I was never not gonna do it. 318 00:14:36,438 --> 00:14:37,501 - I'm excited. - Yeah. 319 00:14:37,522 --> 00:14:42,090 I-I'm really excited to see this, man. You are gonna kick that guy's ass, 320 00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:43,444 whoever he is. 321 00:14:56,733 --> 00:14:58,235 - This is cruel. - Oof. 322 00:14:58,252 --> 00:15:00,745 - I can't watch it, you know? - Trust me, this is for his own good. 323 00:15:00,765 --> 00:15:02,511 If he doesn't face this now, he never will. 324 00:15:02,536 --> 00:15:04,867 Yeah, it's too bad, but he's got to get his ass kicked. 325 00:15:04,892 --> 00:15:07,373 Yep. It's time for this to end. 326 00:15:08,085 --> 00:15:08,982 Hi. 327 00:15:09,023 --> 00:15:11,208 Okay, now bow. 328 00:15:12,170 --> 00:15:13,842 Not to me, Karate Kid, to him. 329 00:15:13,865 --> 00:15:15,062 Oh. 330 00:15:15,691 --> 00:15:17,718 - Bow. - Bow. 331 00:15:18,705 --> 00:15:20,808 Ready. Fight! 332 00:15:24,928 --> 00:15:26,451 Block, point, Mac! 333 00:15:26,514 --> 00:15:28,318 - Shit. - Guys, did you see that? 334 00:15:28,331 --> 00:15:30,506 I got a point! I got a point! 335 00:15:31,767 --> 00:15:34,610 - Oh! - Hell, no. 336 00:15:43,261 --> 00:15:44,914 Oh! 337 00:16:01,904 --> 00:16:02,891 That was badass! 338 00:16:02,911 --> 00:16:04,155 He kicked the shit out of that guy! 339 00:16:04,185 --> 00:16:07,310 - Well, I got the actual point. - Who cares? You lost. 340 00:16:07,313 --> 00:16:10,500 - Country Mac won. - Yeah, but it's about the art, okay? 341 00:16:10,525 --> 00:16:11,863 Oh, the art. 342 00:16:11,981 --> 00:16:14,300 You got your ass kicked— that's what happened. 343 00:16:14,551 --> 00:16:17,273 I scored an actual point in an actual karate tournament and 344 00:16:17,291 --> 00:16:18,754 against an actual black belt. 345 00:16:18,779 --> 00:16:22,123 Country Mac beat the shit out of that guy with a beer and his T-shirt. 346 00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:24,462 Yeah, and where is he always getting those beers, man? 347 00:16:24,486 --> 00:16:27,039 - That's the most badass thing I've ever seen. - Out of the blue, he gets a beer. 348 00:16:27,064 --> 00:16:28,873 No, it's years of training finally paying off, 349 00:16:28,889 --> 00:16:31,439 and an uncontested black belt point is the most badass... 350 00:16:31,475 --> 00:16:33,406 Oh, my God, we're never gonna hear the end of this. 351 00:16:33,438 --> 00:16:34,967 Stop, stop! Hold on a second, Mac. 352 00:16:34,988 --> 00:16:38,488 No, no. Listen, you got your ass kicked today— that's what happened, 353 00:16:38,510 --> 00:16:40,116 plain and simple. So I want you to admit it. 354 00:16:40,137 --> 00:16:41,312 Dennis, don't. The day's almost over. 355 00:16:41,325 --> 00:16:43,581 - We only have a couple of hours. - No, n-n-n-no, Dee, we have a lifetime 356 00:16:43,612 --> 00:16:45,838 of this to look forward to, and I for one can't stand it. 357 00:16:45,856 --> 00:16:47,467 You are not a badass, pal. 358 00:16:47,485 --> 00:16:49,715 - Admit it to us right now. - Get on your knees! 359 00:16:49,739 --> 00:16:52,055 - You are not a badass! - Oh, my God! 360 00:16:52,097 --> 00:16:54,064 Hey, what's wrong with you, guy? 361 00:16:54,266 --> 00:16:57,080 - You got a problem? - You got the problem, asshole. 362 00:16:57,101 --> 00:16:59,139 Look out! 363 00:16:59,176 --> 00:17:00,405 Shit. 364 00:17:00,455 --> 00:17:04,112 You bring a knife to a fight, you better be ready to use it, you jabroni. 365 00:17:04,804 --> 00:17:07,290 Just... don't come back here, you punks. 366 00:17:08,504 --> 00:17:10,389 Aw, you made him look like a bitch! 367 00:17:10,428 --> 00:17:12,328 - Holy shit. - Nice... very nice. 368 00:17:12,366 --> 00:17:13,766 Oh, you are badass, dude. 369 00:17:13,791 --> 00:17:16,741 - How'd you know he had a knife on him? - I gave him an ocular patdown. 370 00:17:16,891 --> 00:17:19,685 Assessed the threat level. Clocked a knife in his boot. 371 00:17:19,709 --> 00:17:23,152 Huh! Holy shit. 372 00:17:23,833 --> 00:17:26,936 Guys, I may have had a little bit of an accident in my pants, 373 00:17:26,956 --> 00:17:28,431 so I think I got to change out of this gi. 374 00:17:28,457 --> 00:17:30,954 He just gave that guy an ocular patdown, and it actually worked. 375 00:17:30,972 --> 00:17:31,679 It worked. 376 00:17:31,689 --> 00:17:34,552 He made a lucky guess, and he put us all in danger. 377 00:17:34,567 --> 00:17:36,361 You made a poopy in your pants! 378 00:17:36,394 --> 00:17:38,094 Did anybody else do a poopoo in their pants? 379 00:17:38,112 --> 00:17:40,018 - No. - Of course not. - This is our head of security! 380 00:17:40,054 --> 00:17:41,654 I don't need to listen to this, okay? 381 00:17:41,679 --> 00:17:44,610 I'm gonna change out of this gi and then we're gonna keep going with the day, okay? 382 00:17:44,629 --> 00:17:47,960 I have a series of lectures that we're gonna get to. 383 00:17:48,145 --> 00:17:50,293 - Go get the poop out of your pants. - I can't wait for the lectures. 384 00:17:50,330 --> 00:17:51,186 Goddamn, man. 385 00:17:51,499 --> 00:17:55,259 The guy is in complete denial about absolutely every aspect of his life. 386 00:17:55,420 --> 00:17:57,270 And there is nothing we can do about it. 387 00:17:57,297 --> 00:17:59,199 - I say we switch him out. - Huh? 388 00:17:59,219 --> 00:18:01,532 Country Mac for Paddy's Mac. 389 00:18:01,557 --> 00:18:04,913 - We send Mac to the country, bring Country Mac here. - Yeah, to the bar. 390 00:18:04,935 --> 00:18:08,437 That's not a bad idea. I mean, look, we'd be safer with an actual badass in the bar. 391 00:18:08,463 --> 00:18:10,916 We might actually become a little bit more badass ourselves. 392 00:18:10,936 --> 00:18:12,902 We would become more like Country Mac, which'd be great. 393 00:18:12,928 --> 00:18:15,022 We have a lot to learn from him. We should all get motorcycles. 394 00:18:15,047 --> 00:18:17,652 - And drink much more beer. - And smoke more weed, you guys. 395 00:18:17,684 --> 00:18:19,199 And get in fights and do all those things. 396 00:18:19,224 --> 00:18:21,549 - Can we make this happen before he comes back out...? - Let's talk to him. 397 00:18:21,568 --> 00:18:24,182 Hey, um... hey, Country Mac, can we just talk to you for one quick second, buddy? 398 00:18:24,195 --> 00:18:26,793 Um, listen, we were just talking and, man, 399 00:18:27,110 --> 00:18:28,588 we sure would like for you to stay with us. 400 00:18:28,606 --> 00:18:30,813 I mean, like-like, stay with us forever. 401 00:18:30,838 --> 00:18:33,516 - Will you be part of our gang? - Yep. 402 00:18:34,399 --> 00:18:37,237 Uh... just "yep"? Just, like... That's it? 403 00:18:37,258 --> 00:18:39,521 You're not gonna give a speech or lecture us or anything like that? 404 00:18:39,546 --> 00:18:42,058 - No bossiness? - No pontificating? 405 00:18:42,078 --> 00:18:43,637 It's not my style. 406 00:18:44,575 --> 00:18:46,413 I just go with the flow. 407 00:18:46,769 --> 00:18:49,527 - Let the wind blow through my hair. - Yeah. 408 00:18:50,850 --> 00:18:51,927 Oh. 409 00:18:51,952 --> 00:18:54,508 - Oh, wow. - I love that guy. 410 00:18:54,528 --> 00:18:56,627 Aw, look at him go. 411 00:18:57,277 --> 00:18:58,497 Where's he even going? 412 00:18:58,522 --> 00:19:02,352 I mean, the fact that we don't know where he's going makes him all the more badass. 413 00:19:03,724 --> 00:19:05,155 - Uh-oh. Whoops. - Whoopsie. 414 00:19:05,180 --> 00:19:06,805 - He fell, huh? - Tipped over a little bit. 415 00:19:06,844 --> 00:19:08,156 Ooh. 416 00:19:08,257 --> 00:19:10,716 - He's probably okay, though, right? - Well, yeah, he just... popped over. 417 00:19:10,741 --> 00:19:13,722 A little-little bump. He's fine. He's good, he's good, he's good, he's good. 418 00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:22,012 Country Mac lived a reckless life. 419 00:19:23,024 --> 00:19:28,505 He wasn't the kind of guy that could score a point in a black belt karate contest. 420 00:19:30,298 --> 00:19:32,789 And it turns out, he was totally queer. 421 00:19:32,984 --> 00:19:35,773 Which, as we all know, is a sin. 422 00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:38,547 And that, coupled with his radical religious beliefs, 423 00:19:38,898 --> 00:19:42,365 has most likely landed him in Hell, 424 00:19:42,733 --> 00:19:45,322 where he will burn for all eternity. 425 00:19:45,842 --> 00:19:48,417 So I will ask for a moment of silence, 426 00:19:48,442 --> 00:19:53,059 in which I will beg God's forgiveness for Country Mac's evil, 427 00:19:54,084 --> 00:19:58,976 homo ways, while simultaneously doing a series of karate moves 428 00:19:59,033 --> 00:20:03,044 that I know Country Mac would've enjoyed so much. 429 00:20:07,337 --> 00:20:09,246 Well, guys, I think the real lesson here is that 430 00:20:09,262 --> 00:20:12,768 - there's nothing badass about riding a motorcycle without a helmet. - Right. 431 00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:14,537 Plus, he was drunk all the time. 432 00:20:14,567 --> 00:20:16,123 - Yeah. - You know what's badass? 433 00:20:16,155 --> 00:20:17,618 - Being alive. - Yeah. 434 00:20:17,636 --> 00:20:20,313 So, uh, what do we do about this guy? 435 00:20:25,626 --> 00:20:27,748 Namaste. Namaste. 436 00:20:27,823 --> 00:20:29,727 Okay, we will now pile into the car, 437 00:20:30,083 --> 00:20:33,440 where we will go to the countryside to leave Country Mac's ashes 438 00:20:33,496 --> 00:20:35,043 in a place that he loved so well. 439 00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:36,631 Actually, we won't. 440 00:20:36,656 --> 00:20:40,888 Because it's officially Frank Day, so... 441 00:20:44,641 --> 00:20:47,250 All right, Pee Country Mac. 442 00:20:47,769 --> 00:20:57,769 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther