1
00:00:02,711 --> 00:00:04,598
(beer can pops open)
Oh, yeah.

2
00:00:04,620 --> 00:00:07,725
These are going down
real smooth now.

3
00:00:07,740 --> 00:00:10,717
Dee, slow down. You're
on pace to drink 130 beers.

4
00:00:10,724 --> 00:00:12,872
Don't ruin
this for me, Deandra.

5
00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:15,789
This could be the last chance I got
to do something great in my life.

6
00:00:15,805 --> 00:00:18,469
You jerks are just all mad
'cause I'm gonna be the one

7
00:00:18,494 --> 00:00:21,455
to shatter Boss
Hogg's drinking record.

8
00:00:21,468 --> 00:00:25,382
Dee, Boss Hogg was a big, fat
redneck from The Dukes of Hazzard.

9
00:00:25,398 --> 00:00:27,414
Wade Boggs is a Hall
of Fame third baseman.

10
00:00:27,439 --> 00:00:30,923
Yeah, it's Wade Boggs's drinking
record, okay? The man's a legend.

11
00:00:30,938 --> 00:00:33,010
He drank 50 beers on
a cross-country flight

12
00:00:33,035 --> 00:00:35,934
and then absolutely destroyed the Seattle
Mariners the next day, okay?

13
00:00:35,941 --> 00:00:39,478
That's why we're doing this, to honor
his memory, okay? May he rest in peace.

14
00:00:39,503 --> 00:00:42,182
First off, Wade Boggs
is very much alive.

15
00:00:42,207 --> 00:00:44,918
Secondly, the number of beers
is actually highly disputed.

16
00:00:44,943 --> 00:00:49,451
Some say 50, some teammates said
60, some said as many as 70 beers.

17
00:00:49,459 --> 00:00:52,579
Which, to be honest, is an absolutely
insane amount of beer.

18
00:00:52,604 --> 00:00:53,800
Nobody can drink
that much.

19
00:00:53,815 --> 00:00:55,463
Not with
an attitude like that.

20
00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:58,083
Perhaps we're taking this a
little bit too seriously?

21
00:00:58,106 --> 00:01:00,517
Absolutely we're not, okay?
The man is a legend.

22
00:01:00,540 --> 00:01:01,813
That's why we're doing
this, all right?

23
00:01:01,820 --> 00:01:04,244
To honor his memory.
Rest in peace, Wade.

24
00:01:04,269 --> 00:01:06,506
Again, he is still alive.

25
00:01:07,026 --> 00:01:17,026
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther

26
00:01:33,271 --> 00:01:36,053
Always sticking me
with the nerds.

27
00:01:38,279 --> 00:01:39,130
Yes, ma'am?

28
00:01:39,152 --> 00:01:41,414
Uh, actually, I can, uh,
handle this one.

29
00:01:41,431 --> 00:01:43,799
We'll be sharing the in-flight
call system today.

30
00:01:43,814 --> 00:01:45,685
- Excuse me?
- Oh, sorry, let me explain.

31
00:01:45,698 --> 00:01:47,765
We're doing a Wade
Boggs-type thing,

32
00:01:47,773 --> 00:01:50,578
and that makes me sort of
the Commissioner Bud Selig of the group.

33
00:01:50,596 --> 00:01:52,073
Oh, you're
the commissioner now?

34
00:01:52,097 --> 00:01:55,253
Well, somebody's gotta keep the game
fair and everybody invested, okay, Dee?

35
00:01:55,261 --> 00:01:58,738
He didn't win the chugging contest.
Two more beers, please.

36
00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:00,300
Actually, ma'am, we're
about to take off,

37
00:02:00,325 --> 00:02:02,942
- so we're gonna need you
to stow your tray table. - Yay.

38
00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:04,410
- Let me take that and throw it
out for you. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

39
00:02:04,432 --> 00:02:07,166
Yeah, but just give me a second.
Okay? Just give me a second?

40
00:02:09,571 --> 00:02:10,446
- There you go.
- Great.

41
00:02:10,453 --> 00:02:12,709
(Dee belches)
Hold on. Hold on.

42
00:02:18,468 --> 00:02:20,406
Ugh! Ouch!

43
00:02:20,421 --> 00:02:23,864
- It's... really cold.
- Damn, Dee...

44
00:02:24,749 --> 00:02:27,935
Oh, God. You really have
to slow down a little bit.

45
00:02:41,921 --> 00:02:43,231
Can I get you
something to drink?

46
00:02:43,237 --> 00:02:45,612
Yeah, I'll just get
a beer, please.

47
00:02:46,023 --> 00:02:47,353
(whispering): Hey, Frank.

48
00:02:47,378 --> 00:02:49,198
I'm a little concerned about
this frat boy over here.

49
00:02:49,223 --> 00:02:51,450
There's only so many
beers on the flight.

50
00:02:51,475 --> 00:02:52,803
I'll take care of him.

51
00:02:52,825 --> 00:02:54,622
- For you, sir?
- Excuse me, miss?

52
00:02:54,629 --> 00:02:56,153
- Mm-hmm.
- Um, actually, yeah...

53
00:02:56,178 --> 00:02:58,592
how many beers are we
allowed to order at once?

54
00:02:58,607 --> 00:03:01,135
I'm not sure. No one has
ever asked that before.

55
00:03:01,144 --> 00:03:02,894
Okay, great, so
there's no rule on that.

56
00:03:02,919 --> 00:03:04,958
Uh, why don't you give
me six, then, please?

57
00:03:04,983 --> 00:03:06,776
How about you make
it an even dozen?

58
00:03:06,801 --> 00:03:09,848
How about I start you with two apiece
and then we just take it from there?

59
00:03:09,863 --> 00:03:12,342
Sure, if you want to be lugging beers
back and forth the entire flight.

60
00:03:12,367 --> 00:03:13,984
I guess that's,
uh, up to you.

61
00:03:14,008 --> 00:03:17,359
I'll be taking care of everybody
on the Boggs account.

62
00:03:17,382 --> 00:03:21,195
Oh, and by the way,
do you sell condoms?

63
00:03:21,218 --> 00:03:23,475
- No, I'm afraid we don't.
- Aw...

64
00:03:23,491 --> 00:03:26,233
- Yeah. - I'll have to figure
something else out.

65
00:03:26,258 --> 00:03:28,625
- Got it.
- Thank you so much.

66
00:03:28,646 --> 00:03:30,506
Hey... Frank.

67
00:03:30,529 --> 00:03:33,178
Mmm? What's with
the condom thing?

68
00:03:33,193 --> 00:03:36,045
You think the Boggs record is
the only one I'm going for?

69
00:03:36,060 --> 00:03:40,974
I'm gonna become the first-ever
member of the Air Sex Society.

70
00:03:40,999 --> 00:03:42,766
Okay. What is that?

71
00:03:42,781 --> 00:03:46,744
That means I'm gonna be plowing somebody
in the bathroom before this plane lands.

72
00:03:46,769 --> 00:03:48,321
Right, but do you think
you just made that up?

73
00:03:48,346 --> 00:03:50,783
Because that's already a thing.
It's called the Mile High Club.

74
00:03:50,808 --> 00:03:52,630
People have been doing it since
planes have been around.

75
00:03:52,655 --> 00:03:54,116
That name sucks.

76
00:03:54,138 --> 00:03:55,553
I'll tell you
what, though.

77
00:03:55,578 --> 00:03:57,305
I will make you a bet

78
00:03:57,330 --> 00:03:59,463
that I plow somebody
on this fight,

79
00:03:59,488 --> 00:04:02,939
somewhere other than the bathroom,
before we hit the Great Lakes.

80
00:04:03,425 --> 00:04:04,636
- I'll take that bet.
- Yeah?

81
00:04:04,652 --> 00:04:05,976
Whoa, whoa.

82
00:04:06,001 --> 00:04:08,243
Did I hear you guys talking about a bet?
There's no betting, okay?

83
00:04:08,258 --> 00:04:09,852
That compromises
the integrity of the game.

84
00:04:09,859 --> 00:04:12,110
It's got nothing to do
with the Wade Boggs thing.

85
00:04:12,132 --> 00:04:13,317
It doesn't matter,
okay, guys?

86
00:04:13,342 --> 00:04:16,091
That's a rule, and as commissioner,
you have to obey me.

87
00:04:16,116 --> 00:04:17,452
Right, Commissioner.

88
00:04:17,467 --> 00:04:18,944
Go get me another beer.

89
00:04:18,969 --> 00:04:20,837
Okay, I will, but... not
because you told me to,

90
00:04:20,862 --> 00:04:23,893
- but because I'm commissioner
and that's my job. - Yeah.

91
00:04:27,358 --> 00:04:28,381
You're on.

92
00:04:33,145 --> 00:04:34,882
Pathetic.

93
00:04:36,884 --> 00:04:42,347
29... beers.

94
00:04:44,411 --> 00:04:46,224
- How can I help you?
- Hmm? Oh.

95
00:04:46,246 --> 00:04:47,086
Hey-oh!

96
00:04:47,111 --> 00:04:49,049
- This is my guy.
- Yeah.

97
00:04:49,064 --> 00:04:51,186
- Hey, I got a couple more for you,
bud, so just grab 'em. - Oh, great.

98
00:04:51,201 --> 00:04:54,389
Actually, while you're here, could
I have a rum and Coke, please?

99
00:04:54,414 --> 00:04:56,411
Uh, oh, uh... hold
on one second.

100
00:04:56,436 --> 00:04:57,957
It's a beer-drinking
contest, Charlie.

101
00:04:57,982 --> 00:05:00,084
No, that's cool, I'm still doing
the Boggs thing, but you know what?

102
00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:02,264
A stiff cocktail would go good
with my chicken, so...

103
00:05:02,287 --> 00:05:03,818
Why are you filling
up with chicken?

104
00:05:03,841 --> 00:05:05,239
Do you know anything
about Wade Boggs?

105
00:05:05,247 --> 00:05:07,102
The man ate a chicken before
every game, all right?

106
00:05:07,117 --> 00:05:08,684
That's why they called
him the Chicken Man.

107
00:05:08,707 --> 00:05:10,657
Man batted.328 lifetime.

108
00:05:10,682 --> 00:05:13,065
I'm sure he ate some rum and Cokes,
too, all right? (chuckles)

109
00:05:13,072 --> 00:05:15,126
You just said "ate rum and Cokes."
You're getting a little buzzed.

110
00:05:15,151 --> 00:05:17,399
- You shouldn't be drinking hard alcohol.
- No, I said one rum and Coke.

111
00:05:17,423 --> 00:05:19,688
Just one, please.
Make it a double, though.

112
00:05:19,704 --> 00:05:21,153
Hey-oh!

113
00:05:25,365 --> 00:05:26,535
What are you doing?

114
00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:28,662
Why are you dancing
around like a jackass?

115
00:05:28,687 --> 00:05:31,523
Wade Boggs would roll in his grave
if he could see your behavior.

116
00:05:31,538 --> 00:05:33,538
- Wade Boggs is alive.
- Huh?

117
00:05:33,561 --> 00:05:36,043
He lives in Tampa, Florida.
He's in his early 50s.

118
00:05:36,051 --> 00:05:38,476
And you... where did you come from?
You were just passed out two minutes ago.

119
00:05:38,499 --> 00:05:41,960
I know it, I was, and then I
popped a couple of these babies.

120
00:05:41,972 --> 00:05:45,223
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What the hell are those, Dee?

121
00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:48,772
Greenies. Uppers. Vftt! Feel
like I got a rocket up my ass.

122
00:05:48,797 --> 00:05:51,196
These guys find out that you're
taking performance-enhancing drugs,

123
00:05:51,210 --> 00:05:54,671
- the integrity of the game is completely
compromised, all right? - Shit.

124
00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:56,060
As the Bud Selig
of the group,

125
00:05:56,085 --> 00:05:59,663
it's my job to quietly sweep this under
the rug before anybody finds out.

126
00:05:59,688 --> 00:06:00,886
You know, Commissioner,
you just...

127
00:06:00,911 --> 00:06:02,927
- you kind of just lost
the chugging contest... - Go.

128
00:06:08,568 --> 00:06:10,013
Hey!

129
00:06:10,562 --> 00:06:13,469
You know, I actually went
to school at the same college,

130
00:06:13,494 --> 00:06:15,400
your alma mater, in 1966.

131
00:06:15,425 --> 00:06:17,154
- Yeah?
- Yeah, here, have a beer, huh?

132
00:06:17,170 --> 00:06:19,379
- It's like... Yeah, yeah, good, yeah.
- Oh, that's nice of you.

133
00:06:19,404 --> 00:06:21,054
Drink up.

134
00:06:22,139 --> 00:06:25,983
- Frank? Did you just buy frat boy a beer?
- Don't worry about it.

135
00:06:26,006 --> 00:06:27,811
I laced it with
sleeping pills.

136
00:06:27,836 --> 00:06:30,033
He's gonna be out like
a light in two minutes.

137
00:06:30,048 --> 00:06:31,764
That is some diabolical shit, dude.

138
00:06:31,789 --> 00:06:33,060
- Ow...!
- (Dennis laughs)

139
00:06:33,083 --> 00:06:34,888
So what's going on
with the sex moves?

140
00:06:34,913 --> 00:06:37,311
I've been laying chum
up and down this plane.

141
00:06:37,336 --> 00:06:40,625
Yeah, I-I know. I've noticed.
Yeah, I've got my prey picked out.

142
00:06:40,632 --> 00:06:42,547
I'm just waiting for
the right moment to pounce.

143
00:06:42,572 --> 00:06:45,718
What are you talking about? You haven't
moved an inch. You're just drinking.

144
00:06:45,743 --> 00:06:47,276
- Oh, is that what you think?
- Mm-hmm.

145
00:06:47,283 --> 00:06:50,818
Frank, of the 206 passengers on
this flight, 98 of them are women,

146
00:06:50,833 --> 00:06:55,386
but only one of them is a
suitable candidate: 44G.

147
00:06:56,662 --> 00:07:00,155
Notice how she glances forlornly
at the empty seat next to her.

148
00:07:00,597 --> 00:07:02,964
It was meant for
someone special.

149
00:07:02,979 --> 00:07:06,087
And the tan line on her
ring finger suggests

150
00:07:06,112 --> 00:07:09,335
the wound is still fresh,
leaving her vulnerable.

151
00:07:09,358 --> 00:07:11,803
Furthermore, when we hit
turbulence earlier, she giggled,

152
00:07:11,818 --> 00:07:14,274
telling me she's a bit
of a thrill seeker.

153
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:17,528
You think she offed the guy
and went on the run?

154
00:07:17,542 --> 00:07:19,956
Pretty tough to lay low
in a dress like that.

155
00:07:20,726 --> 00:07:23,539
Granted, it's not a particularly
remarkable garment.

156
00:07:23,554 --> 00:07:26,562
It's from the J. Crew
Spring 2012 collection.

157
00:07:26,577 --> 00:07:29,432
Although, it is a bit
much for an airplane.

158
00:07:29,454 --> 00:07:32,227
Furthermore, if she were standing,
you'd notice she's got no panty line,

159
00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:34,594
giving me about five extra
seconds to enter her

160
00:07:34,609 --> 00:07:38,965
swiftly before she realizes I am
not the answer to her problems.

161
00:07:42,031 --> 00:07:47,198
I'll tell you my tastes lie
a little bit more in 39F.

162
00:07:48,128 --> 00:07:49,305
No.

163
00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:53,584
No, thank you, Frank. No, her blouse
is covered in cigarette burns.

164
00:07:53,609 --> 00:07:57,515
And I imagine underneath that blouse,
you'll find copious amounts of road rash,

165
00:07:57,540 --> 00:08:01,267
probably sustained in some
sort of off-roading accident,

166
00:08:01,292 --> 00:08:02,854
which would also
explain her limp.

167
00:08:02,879 --> 00:08:05,825
Although, something tells
me the two are unrelated.

168
00:08:05,850 --> 00:08:07,931
Either way, she's North Dakota
trash through and through

169
00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:10,348
and far beneath a gentleman
such as myself.

170
00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:12,490
Uh, miss?

171
00:08:12,505 --> 00:08:14,053
Six more beers.

172
00:08:20,714 --> 00:08:21,495
Hey-oh!

173
00:08:21,511 --> 00:08:25,370
- Ah, there we go. Yeah.
- Hey, listen, Charlie?

174
00:08:25,392 --> 00:08:30,645
- Yeah. - I need you to start
a McGwire/Sosa-like rivalry with Dee.

175
00:08:31,109 --> 00:08:33,689
Look, I think you're getting, like,
too worked up about this thing.

176
00:08:33,705 --> 00:08:35,307
Can we just drink the beer
and hang out, you know?

177
00:08:35,317 --> 00:08:37,950
Well, here-here's the thing. The game seems
to be getting a little bit off the rails.

178
00:08:37,970 --> 00:08:39,404
Frank and Dennis are
super distracted

179
00:08:39,429 --> 00:08:41,273
and Dee is kind of just
running away with it.

180
00:08:41,298 --> 00:08:44,052
Boggsy didn't drink six gallons of beer
because he was obsessed with, like,

181
00:08:44,069 --> 00:08:46,155
breaking some record.
You know what I mean?

182
00:08:46,170 --> 00:08:49,762
He did it 'cause he was just,
like, thirsty, you know?

183
00:08:49,784 --> 00:08:51,363
And looking
to pass the time.

184
00:08:51,388 --> 00:08:55,815
Yeah, but I can sell a rivalry, all right?
What I can't sell is... 27 beers.

185
00:08:55,830 --> 00:08:58,572
What-what am I gonna do with 27 beers?
Who-who cares about 27 beers?

186
00:08:58,595 --> 00:09:00,167
We're not selling
anything.

187
00:09:00,192 --> 00:09:02,266
Like, I think you're taking
the commissioner thing way...

188
00:09:02,291 --> 00:09:03,588
Look, you lost
the chugging contest, man.

189
00:09:03,603 --> 00:09:05,655
- It's not a big deal. - Why did you
make me Bud Selig if you didn't...?

190
00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:07,184
Nobody did. You just
started saying that.

191
00:09:07,207 --> 00:09:09,775
Look, I got empties for you.
Just take those and don't, like,

192
00:09:09,791 --> 00:09:11,205
put so much pressure on
yourself over...

193
00:09:11,221 --> 00:09:15,917
Attention, passengers. This is
your captain, Boss Hogg, speaking.

194
00:09:15,942 --> 00:09:19,175
And this cold slice of heaven is
my 40th beer of the afternoon.

195
00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:23,070
So any of you dicknips think you
can slug it down faster than me,

196
00:09:23,095 --> 00:09:26,744
- you're welcome to get your fat asses
up here to try. Uh-uh! - Yeah, no.

197
00:09:26,759 --> 00:09:27,562
- Uh-uh!
- Put your...

198
00:09:27,587 --> 00:09:28,948
- Uh-uh!
- Oh, I'm gonna need that.

199
00:09:28,971 --> 00:09:31,282
- Ah, you... whatever.
- Okay.

200
00:09:31,964 --> 00:09:34,222
The Boggs group is cut off.
(Mac groans)

201
00:09:34,237 --> 00:09:36,456
What? Aw, dude.
That's not good.

202
00:09:36,478 --> 00:09:37,852
- I can't stop drinking now.
- Damn it!

203
00:09:37,875 --> 00:09:41,544
- I'll probably die, dude.
- I'm running low, too. Shit.

204
00:09:41,568 --> 00:09:44,161
Okay, luckily
I came prepared.

205
00:09:44,186 --> 00:09:45,147
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

206
00:09:45,162 --> 00:09:48,349
Charlie, we're not on
a wide-body DC-10 for nothing.

207
00:09:48,374 --> 00:09:50,566
Right. We bought tickets.

208
00:09:51,028 --> 00:09:53,805
Well, yes, but we chose
a wide-body DC-10 on purpose.

209
00:09:53,828 --> 00:09:55,551
- That's what I was...
- To get up in the sky.

210
00:09:55,565 --> 00:09:57,457
Let me walk you
through it.

211
00:09:57,482 --> 00:10:00,263
I got a hundred extra beers
in a checked bag, okay?

212
00:10:00,288 --> 00:10:03,804
Now, according to movies like
Executive Decision and Passenger 57,

213
00:10:03,829 --> 00:10:05,798
there is a secret
hatch on every plane

214
00:10:05,823 --> 00:10:08,434
that allows me to travel freely
throughout the aircraft.

215
00:10:08,459 --> 00:10:09,741
Well, everybody
knows that.

216
00:10:09,756 --> 00:10:12,962
Yeah, so I just got to find my
right time to get down there.

217
00:10:14,123 --> 00:10:16,357
- I think you can probably go, like,
anytime, yeah. - Or just do it...

218
00:10:16,365 --> 00:10:19,408
- just right now, right? Okay, yeah. - This
stewardess is, like, not on the ball.

219
00:10:28,476 --> 00:10:29,587
- Oh!
- Hey-oh!

220
00:10:29,601 --> 00:10:31,531
- Geez.
- Why isn't the door locked, Frank?

221
00:10:31,554 --> 00:10:32,658
I'm posting up.

222
00:10:32,683 --> 00:10:35,282
Half the battle is getting them
to follow you to the bathroom.

223
00:10:35,307 --> 00:10:36,721
This way, I'm sitting here.

224
00:10:36,736 --> 00:10:38,534
It's like lambs
to the slaughter.

225
00:10:38,549 --> 00:10:41,270
Aah! What's happening
to me?

226
00:10:42,199 --> 00:10:44,340
Some-Something is wrong.

227
00:10:45,098 --> 00:10:48,879
Ladies and gentlemen, if there's a doctor
on board, please press your call button.

228
00:10:50,372 --> 00:10:52,608
Dude, how many sleeping pills
did you give that kid?

229
00:10:52,623 --> 00:10:55,843
- I don't know— seven? 12?
- (stammers) 12?

230
00:10:55,858 --> 00:10:57,598
Yeah! What? You told me
to take care of him.

231
00:10:57,613 --> 00:10:59,207
I didn't tell you
to kill him.

232
00:10:59,229 --> 00:11:00,300
Well, you better
go do something;

233
00:11:00,325 --> 00:11:02,083
Otherwise they're gonna have
to make an emergency landing

234
00:11:02,108 --> 00:11:05,694
- and this whole thing's gonna be screwed!
- Ah, shit! (grunts)

235
00:11:05,701 --> 00:11:08,630
Uh, what seems to be
the problem here?

236
00:11:08,655 --> 00:11:10,445
Are you a doctor?

237
00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:12,654
Mantis Toboggan, MD.

238
00:11:12,679 --> 00:11:16,454
You want this young man to live, you're
gonna have to give me some aspirin,

239
00:11:16,479 --> 00:11:20,620
a roll of duct tape, a bag of
peanuts and four beers.

240
00:11:36,145 --> 00:11:37,801
Jackpot.
(hatch opens)

241
00:11:37,826 --> 00:11:39,922
This way. Shh.

242
00:11:40,390 --> 00:11:42,203
Nice.

243
00:11:42,602 --> 00:11:44,720
Alright. There you go.

244
00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:48,582
- Speed it up a little
bit, honey? - Okay.

245
00:11:49,310 --> 00:11:52,451
- Ooh. Wow!
- (laughing): Yeah!

246
00:11:52,938 --> 00:11:55,575
Oh, you really know
your way around.

247
00:11:55,577 --> 00:11:57,300
Well, if I've learned
anything from films like

248
00:11:57,315 --> 00:11:59,198
Executive Decision
or Passenger 57,

249
00:11:59,223 --> 00:12:01,145
there's always a way
into the cargo hold.

250
00:12:01,170 --> 00:12:02,711
You're weird.

251
00:12:02,735 --> 00:12:04,705
- You have no idea.
- Oh...

252
00:12:04,723 --> 00:12:07,510
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Nothing with my lips, all right?

253
00:12:07,526 --> 00:12:08,885
- Okay.
- I won't do that with you.

254
00:12:08,901 --> 00:12:12,471
- Mind if I take a pill?
- Yeah, sure, take a pill.

255
00:12:17,622 --> 00:12:19,708
All right, well,
that's happening.

256
00:12:20,101 --> 00:12:21,422
- (grunting)
- Now, just do that.

257
00:12:21,447 --> 00:12:22,475
That's a boy!

258
00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:25,500
Is it really necessary
to restrain him like this?

259
00:12:25,525 --> 00:12:29,220
You can never be too careful
with altitude sickness.

260
00:12:29,245 --> 00:12:34,277
One time, this broad chewed
through the fuselage of a 747!

261
00:12:34,302 --> 00:12:36,122
Luckily, I'm a pilot, too.

262
00:12:36,147 --> 00:12:41,411
I inverted the bird and landed
her safely in an open field.

263
00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:45,165
Okay, I'm sorry. I'm gonna need
to see some identification.

264
00:12:45,190 --> 00:12:47,391
You don't think
I'm a pilot?

265
00:12:47,416 --> 00:12:49,088
I don't think
you're a doctor.

266
00:12:49,112 --> 00:12:53,315
That is a serious
accusation!

267
00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:55,090
You've had 14 beers.

268
00:12:55,113 --> 00:12:56,543
You don't know that.

269
00:12:56,568 --> 00:12:58,177
It's written on your shirt.

270
00:13:00,839 --> 00:13:03,316
How would you like to go
to the bathroom with me?

271
00:13:03,341 --> 00:13:05,958
- I got to go.
- You and me?

272
00:13:05,983 --> 00:13:10,866
Well, Frank, I have singlehandedly pushed
the limits of high-altitude eroticism.

273
00:13:10,882 --> 00:13:12,695
- You banged her?
- Yeah.

274
00:13:12,710 --> 00:13:14,051
What happened
to the classy broad?

275
00:13:14,075 --> 00:13:16,301
Oh, happily married. Yeah.

276
00:13:16,326 --> 00:13:19,654
Turns out she takes her ring off when she
flies because her fingers swell. Yeah.

277
00:13:19,669 --> 00:13:22,492
But it-it's all good, Frank.
You know, hey, turns out Boggs,

278
00:13:22,500 --> 00:13:24,742
he didn't hit it out of the park
every single time at bat.

279
00:13:24,753 --> 00:13:26,578
- Mm-hmm.
- He just tried to get the ball in play

280
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:28,671
and hope that he could
squeak it through the hole.

281
00:13:28,678 --> 00:13:30,662
And I just, uh, squeaked
it through multiple holes

282
00:13:30,687 --> 00:13:33,133
if you know what I'm saying.
Don't you!

283
00:13:33,668 --> 00:13:35,930
Ladies and gentlemen, please
fasten your seat belts

284
00:13:35,955 --> 00:13:38,487
as we begin our initial
decent into North Dakota.

285
00:13:38,509 --> 00:13:40,767
Oh, shit. Well, you know, you
heard the captain.

286
00:13:40,791 --> 00:13:43,217
On your bike. I wish
I could just sit with you.

287
00:13:43,225 --> 00:13:44,686
Yeah. Hmm.

288
00:13:44,701 --> 00:13:46,891
But, you know, there's already
a guy in the seat, so...

289
00:13:46,907 --> 00:13:50,298
Oh. Excuse me, Mr. Person,

290
00:13:50,323 --> 00:13:53,730
would you mind switching seats so
I could sit with my boyfriend?

291
00:13:54,812 --> 00:13:56,023
Thank you.

292
00:14:07,301 --> 00:14:09,252
Hello, Charlie.

293
00:14:10,285 --> 00:14:12,291
Oh, shit!

294
00:14:12,316 --> 00:14:15,246
- You're the ghost of Wade Boggs!
- I'm not a ghost, Charlie.

295
00:14:15,269 --> 00:14:18,291
You're just hallucinating.
You've had over 30 beers, dude!

296
00:14:18,306 --> 00:14:20,137
Uh, you did? Nice, man.

297
00:14:20,162 --> 00:14:22,651
- You know, you're friend Mac is right.
- Oh, yeah?

298
00:14:22,674 --> 00:14:25,565
I didn't win five batting
titles because it was fun.

299
00:14:25,582 --> 00:14:28,357
- Right. - I won it because
I wanted to be the best.

300
00:14:28,382 --> 00:14:29,945
You see what I'm saying?

301
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:31,507
Nah, not really, man.

302
00:14:31,532 --> 00:14:35,048
There's nothing more fun than winning.
So, come on, drink up.

303
00:14:35,070 --> 00:14:36,253
- All right.
- I'll have one with you.

304
00:14:36,278 --> 00:14:40,678
- Nice! Let's do it, Boggs! Let's drink!
- All right! Yeah. All right. Cheers!

305
00:14:41,671 --> 00:14:43,254
Howdy, Dee.

306
00:14:45,279 --> 00:14:47,420
Well, what do
you say, Boss?

307
00:14:47,445 --> 00:14:49,305
Now, I know you're
not quitting on me.

308
00:14:49,330 --> 00:14:51,078
I need you to keep
drinking those beers,

309
00:14:51,093 --> 00:14:53,102
so you can help me
stop them Duke boys

310
00:14:53,127 --> 00:14:57,135
from spoiling all my crooked
Hazzard County schemes!

311
00:14:57,158 --> 00:14:59,774
You got it, Boss Hoss.

312
00:15:09,740 --> 00:15:13,496
All right! Well, here we are—
beautiful North Dakota.

313
00:15:13,521 --> 00:15:15,990
Hope you brought a coat 'cause
it looks cold as shit out there.

314
00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:18,109
I don't live in
North Dakota.

315
00:15:18,131 --> 00:15:19,615
You're going to L.A.?

316
00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:22,687
About 200 miles inland—
the Salton Sea.

317
00:15:22,712 --> 00:15:26,970
- My family has a tilapia farm there.
- Goddamn.

318
00:15:27,419 --> 00:15:29,544
Good. Good for them.

319
00:15:30,482 --> 00:15:31,920
- Will you excuse me for a minute?
- Sure.

320
00:15:36,249 --> 00:15:37,440
- Dennis, Dennis?
- Huh?

321
00:15:37,455 --> 00:15:38,329
Where you going?

322
00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:41,376
Oh, uh, I mistook that girl
for Great Plains trash.

323
00:15:41,401 --> 00:15:42,963
She's actually
desert trash.

324
00:15:42,978 --> 00:15:45,456
I should've picked up on the
multiple gecko tattoos, so this,

325
00:15:45,470 --> 00:15:46,527
this is kind of on me.

326
00:15:46,552 --> 00:15:49,436
Either way, I'd rather stay in
this barren wasteland of a state

327
00:15:49,461 --> 00:15:51,734
than spend one more
minute with that filth.

328
00:15:51,759 --> 00:15:53,189
I'll see you
back in Philly.

329
00:15:53,212 --> 00:15:55,455
Wait, wait, Dennis.
Don't go.

330
00:16:03,841 --> 00:16:05,427
Now you can go.

331
00:16:11,051 --> 00:16:12,535
Come on! Drink! Drink!
You guys can do it!

332
00:16:12,558 --> 00:16:15,241
You guys are gonna make it! I can't
believe what we are witnessing here.

333
00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:18,930
We are making history here, people!
We're making history!

334
00:16:18,954 --> 00:16:21,320
- Beer me, baby.
- You're 40 beers back, bitch!

335
00:16:21,342 --> 00:16:22,735
Just sit back
and enjoy the show.

336
00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:25,872
Well, I'm tired of people
telling me what I can't do.

337
00:16:25,887 --> 00:16:28,505
They say I can't
drink on a plane.

338
00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:30,442
They say I can't
bang on a plane.

339
00:16:30,457 --> 00:16:34,297
They'll say I can't be a pilot.
I can't be a doctor.

340
00:16:34,873 --> 00:16:37,563
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do
it right in front of your face.

341
00:16:37,588 --> 00:16:40,203
I'm gonna chug 15
beers right now.

342
00:16:42,914 --> 00:16:45,117
Oh, that's so cold.

343
00:16:45,129 --> 00:16:46,685
Beer's cold.

344
00:16:50,477 --> 00:16:52,344
There's a...

345
00:16:56,579 --> 00:16:58,288
All right.

346
00:17:02,925 --> 00:17:04,774
Instant rebuff.

347
00:17:08,220 --> 00:17:10,083
Just leave me here.

348
00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:18,654
Okay, guys, here we go.
Almost there! Almost there!

349
00:17:18,669 --> 00:17:21,989
Wake up! Perk up! Perk up!
Guys, we're at 70 beers.

350
00:17:22,012 --> 00:17:23,965
That means one more
to break the record.

351
00:17:23,988 --> 00:17:25,472
- Come on.
- Come on, you can do it!

352
00:17:25,495 --> 00:17:28,350
Let's go! Chug it! Chug it!
Come on, come on, you can do it.

353
00:17:28,373 --> 00:17:30,557
You can do it!
I believe in you!

354
00:17:31,464 --> 00:17:33,725
- Yeah!
- Yeah, Dee, go!

355
00:17:33,750 --> 00:17:36,582
- I did it!
- 71 beers!

356
00:17:36,607 --> 00:17:39,470
- Holy shit! - I'm the king.
I'm the king, Boss Hogg.

357
00:17:39,486 --> 00:17:41,708
- But you're not done yet.
- (both groan)

358
00:17:41,723 --> 00:17:45,286
Yeah, no. Uh, Boggs didn't just
drink enough beer to kill a horse.

359
00:17:45,294 --> 00:17:47,555
He also suited up the next
day and went three for five,

360
00:17:47,580 --> 00:17:48,570
so you're gonna
have to do that.

361
00:17:48,577 --> 00:17:50,573
I can do it, but just give me
the bat. I can't get it...

362
00:17:50,588 --> 00:17:53,453
Yeah, totally.
All right, uh... where's Dee?

363
00:17:53,478 --> 00:17:55,087
She took a ride
on the carousel.

364
00:17:55,106 --> 00:17:56,582
What?

365
00:18:05,716 --> 00:18:07,631
Okay, here we go, Charlie.

366
00:18:07,644 --> 00:18:10,269
You got to go at least three
for ten, all right? You ready?

367
00:18:10,285 --> 00:18:12,065
I got all numbers.

368
00:18:12,090 --> 00:18:14,027
Okay, I'm gonna put a little
mustard on this one, all right?

369
00:18:14,044 --> 00:18:16,638
- Give me the hot dog, baby!
- All right.

370
00:18:48,389 --> 00:18:50,588
Holy shit, dude!

371
00:18:50,613 --> 00:18:53,370
- You roped that!
- That's the Wade Boggs style!

372
00:18:53,395 --> 00:18:55,637
- Wow! - All right, give
me another one.

373
00:18:55,660 --> 00:18:57,012
You know, that's the only
ball I have,

374
00:18:57,037 --> 00:18:58,897
and I didn't expect
you to hit it that far.

375
00:18:58,919 --> 00:19:00,904
I really don't feel
like going to get it.

376
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,235
So, I'm the commissioner.

377
00:19:03,250 --> 00:19:04,485
I say you did it!

378
00:19:04,508 --> 00:19:06,086
- Game on!
- Yeah!

379
00:19:06,102 --> 00:19:08,109
Hey, one for one— that's
batting a thousand, dude.

380
00:19:08,133 --> 00:19:10,175
- That's baseball, baby!
- Yeah!

381
00:19:10,927 --> 00:19:12,768
- Nice work!
- Yeah!

382
00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:14,866
- Hey, man?
- Yeah?

383
00:19:14,891 --> 00:19:16,799
(slurring): California U.S.A.

384
00:19:17,815 --> 00:19:19,422
It's kind of gloomy, huh?

385
00:19:19,447 --> 00:19:20,696
Yeah.

386
00:19:21,338 --> 00:19:22,927
What do now?

387
00:19:22,952 --> 00:19:24,850
Well, if we hurry up, we can
get back to the airport

388
00:19:24,875 --> 00:19:26,133
and get a red-eye
back to Philly.

389
00:19:26,149 --> 00:19:29,277
- They got chicken Philly?
- They got chicken, yeah!

390
00:19:29,302 --> 00:19:30,990
Hey, let's go
grab a beer, huh?

391
00:19:39,183 --> 00:19:49,183
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther