1 00:00:01,259 --> 00:00:02,879 We think it's a sinkhole! It's awesome! 2 00:00:02,899 --> 00:00:05,246 - It's really not that awesome. - It's blowing my mind! 3 00:00:05,259 --> 00:00:06,932 How is a hole in the ground blowing your mind? 4 00:00:06,937 --> 00:00:08,819 Look, I was a little bit skeptical at first, too, 5 00:00:08,837 --> 00:00:11,672 but we've been playing with this thing for three hours now, and it's fantastic. 6 00:00:11,685 --> 00:00:13,795 I'm sorry, can I ask how do you play with a goddamn hole? 7 00:00:13,802 --> 00:00:15,695 First, we just started, like, throwing things down it 8 00:00:15,708 --> 00:00:18,202 and then we never heard it land. It would just kind of rattle around down there. 9 00:00:18,214 --> 00:00:20,414 Then we got a flashlight to see if we could see the bottom. 10 00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:23,273 We couldn't. Then I threw it down there, you know, to prove a point. 11 00:00:23,286 --> 00:00:24,066 What was the point? 12 00:00:24,072 --> 00:00:28,301 It was something to do with how metal travels faster than light or...? 13 00:00:28,314 --> 00:00:30,821 No, it was that light is either on or off. 14 00:00:30,833 --> 00:00:34,266 There's no speed to light. It's, it was an anti-science thing. 15 00:00:34,279 --> 00:00:36,355 This hole, it's very exciting, Dennis. 16 00:00:36,368 --> 00:00:39,275 I mean, it represents infinite possibilities. It's endless. 17 00:00:39,288 --> 00:00:41,037 What if there's, like, a mutant living down there? 18 00:00:41,056 --> 00:00:42,949 We can get him up and he can live in the bar with us. 19 00:00:42,962 --> 00:00:45,620 We've already got one mutant hanging out with us in the bar all the time. 20 00:00:48,689 --> 00:00:49,916 Hey, Frank, did you hear what I said? 21 00:00:49,936 --> 00:00:52,309 I turned a frustrating conversation into a joke on you. 22 00:00:52,328 --> 00:00:55,408 - The, uh... thing. - Huh? Oh, y-yeah. 23 00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:57,804 Frank, what do you think about this hole? 24 00:00:57,829 --> 00:00:59,562 Pretty cool, huh? You want to do something with it? 25 00:00:59,582 --> 00:01:01,402 No. I don't. 26 00:01:01,415 --> 00:01:03,385 In fact, something just dawned on me. 27 00:01:04,105 --> 00:01:05,705 I need to quit. 28 00:01:05,725 --> 00:01:07,852 Wha-What? What are, what are you talking about? 29 00:01:07,864 --> 00:01:10,004 I don't care anything about this hole. 30 00:01:10,017 --> 00:01:11,705 I-I'm passionless. 31 00:01:12,085 --> 00:01:13,792 What are you saying, Frank? 32 00:01:13,811 --> 00:01:17,435 I hereby officially retire from Paddy's Pub. 33 00:01:38,595 --> 00:01:48,595 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by 00:01:50,753 All right, now, with Frank retiring, 35 00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:53,972 I know we're all a little bit concerned about how that affects everyone's shares. 36 00:01:53,992 --> 00:01:57,845 Frank owned 51% of Paddy's Pub and we own 46%. 37 00:01:57,851 --> 00:02:00,763 Well, we did, not-not Dee. She-she doesn't own shit. 38 00:02:00,776 --> 00:02:02,547 - Yeah, I know. Goddamn it. - Yeah, yeah. 39 00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:04,531 And, Charlie, you actually gave up most of your shares 40 00:02:04,556 --> 00:02:06,916 for various sandwiches and snacks and sundries and things. 41 00:02:06,922 --> 00:02:08,409 What the hell is a Franquito? 42 00:02:08,422 --> 00:02:10,985 It says Franquito owns three percent of Paddy's Pub? 43 00:02:10,999 --> 00:02:14,199 Oh, yeah, I don't know. That's probably one of Frank's weird shell corporations. 44 00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:16,185 It doesn't matter. Who gives a shit? It's only three percent. 45 00:02:16,198 --> 00:02:19,342 Whoever gets Frank's 51% is the majority shareholder. 46 00:02:19,361 --> 00:02:21,059 That is who controls the bar. 47 00:02:21,065 --> 00:02:23,474 That is who gets the throne. 48 00:02:24,079 --> 00:02:25,829 Oh, there-there's a throne? 49 00:02:25,835 --> 00:02:28,139 Oh, sorry. No, I was just referring to the desk chair 50 00:02:28,140 --> 00:02:29,887 as the throne 'cause that's where the boss man sits. 51 00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:32,167 Ugh, gross. That chair smells like Frank's butt. 52 00:02:32,180 --> 00:02:33,552 It's not actually Frank's butt; 53 00:02:33,577 --> 00:02:35,777 I think it's a combination of all of our butt smells, you know? 54 00:02:35,790 --> 00:02:36,731 - That's worse. - Yeah. 55 00:02:36,736 --> 00:02:38,204 Why would anybody want that chair? 56 00:02:38,217 --> 00:02:40,824 No, no, it's not about the chair itself. It's what the chair represents. 57 00:02:40,837 --> 00:02:43,454 - The chair represents power. Okay, well, all right. 58 00:02:43,473 --> 00:02:45,393 How do we divvy up Frank's shares then? 59 00:02:45,406 --> 00:02:49,115 Uh... Okay, well, um... 60 00:02:49,140 --> 00:02:51,949 - I'll-I'll take them. - You? You? 61 00:02:51,961 --> 00:02:53,600 You think we're gonna give the shares to the man who wants to 62 00:02:53,612 --> 00:02:56,005 pull a mutant from a mystery hole in the bar and live with him? 63 00:02:56,018 --> 00:02:58,095 All right, well, look, I'm just trying to come up with a system. 64 00:02:58,108 --> 00:03:00,548 - We got to have a system here... - Wait, wait, wait, wait! 65 00:03:00,567 --> 00:03:02,275 We do have a system for this! 66 00:03:02,281 --> 00:03:03,895 Paddy's Succession Plan, remember? 67 00:03:03,920 --> 00:03:06,119 Oh, shit! Right. Yes, right! 68 00:03:06,125 --> 00:03:07,659 Paddy's Succession Plan. 69 00:03:07,679 --> 00:03:09,405 It was like a will that we drew up 70 00:03:09,430 --> 00:03:12,070 to help us determine who would get each one of our shares 71 00:03:12,095 --> 00:03:14,669 in the very likely event of our untimely deaths, that's right. 72 00:03:14,688 --> 00:03:16,243 We drank, like, three bottles of tequila 73 00:03:16,268 --> 00:03:18,077 and then we started talking about our legacy 74 00:03:18,102 --> 00:03:20,769 - and how important that was to us. - Oh! Got to have a legacy. 75 00:03:20,775 --> 00:03:23,326 - Oh, here we go. On a paper plate, huh? - Oh, oh! Yeah, okay. 76 00:03:23,332 --> 00:03:25,879 - Read it! Read it! Read it! Read it! - "Paddy's succession plan. 77 00:03:25,891 --> 00:03:28,632 Paddy's Pub shall secure our legacy here, henceforth 78 00:03:28,657 --> 00:03:31,837 and forevermore throughout the birthright of our firstborn kin. 79 00:03:31,857 --> 00:03:34,150 - Who had the pen here? - It makes sense. Don't be a bitch. 80 00:03:34,156 --> 00:03:38,697 What it means is every one of our shares gets passed down to our firstborn. 81 00:03:38,709 --> 00:03:41,055 Right, right! Our firstborn! 82 00:03:41,068 --> 00:03:43,061 - The shares get passed down to the firstborn kin? - Yeah. 83 00:03:43,074 --> 00:03:44,677 We are the firstborn kin of Frank. 84 00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:47,730 Well, now, hang on, that's not, like, an official document. 85 00:03:47,750 --> 00:03:49,583 Uh, well, you signed it in your blood. 86 00:03:49,602 --> 00:03:51,864 Oh, that, yeah, there it is— "Trundle," written in blood. 87 00:03:51,884 --> 00:03:54,097 Oh, yeah, I was going by Trundle at the time, wasn't I? 88 00:03:54,110 --> 00:03:56,450 No, no, no. You were trying to write "Charlie" and you wrote "Trundle." 89 00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:58,070 No, I was going by "Trundle the Great." 90 00:03:58,083 --> 00:03:59,703 You came up with that after you miswrote it. 91 00:03:59,710 --> 00:04:03,129 Well, look, the point is you can't just take the bar based on a paper plate. 92 00:04:03,798 --> 00:04:05,318 Sorry, Charlie. 93 00:04:05,324 --> 00:04:07,024 I'm siding with Dennis and Dee. 94 00:04:07,037 --> 00:04:08,377 I'm your humble servant. 95 00:04:08,383 --> 00:04:09,777 You're just gonna give it to them? 96 00:04:09,790 --> 00:04:11,963 That's a binding contract. Okay? You wrote it in blood. 97 00:04:11,976 --> 00:04:14,863 That's gonna hold up in a court of law and I know when to pick a side. 98 00:04:14,869 --> 00:04:17,512 - I'm siding with Dennis and Dee. - Wait, hold on a second. 99 00:04:17,531 --> 00:04:20,031 You guys aren't even actually Frank's kid. 100 00:04:20,037 --> 00:04:24,404 You're Bruce Mathis' kid, all right? And I technically might be Frank's kid. 101 00:04:26,111 --> 00:04:27,807 Charlie, I pledge my allegiance to you. 102 00:04:27,820 --> 00:04:29,300 - No, no, no, no. - Wait a second, no. 103 00:04:29,311 --> 00:04:31,954 - But Frank is a Reynolds and we are Reynolds. - Yup, we're Reynolds. 104 00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:34,000 Yeah, and it's the name that carries on the line, 105 00:04:34,025 --> 00:04:36,751 not maybe being someone's bastard kid. 106 00:04:37,552 --> 00:04:40,125 It was always you guys. I tricked him, I tricked him. It was always you. 107 00:04:40,131 --> 00:04:41,897 It is the blood that binds. 108 00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:44,596 And his blood is pumping through my veins. 109 00:04:44,602 --> 00:04:46,158 And I shall prove it. 110 00:04:48,369 --> 00:04:51,223 This is a little bit harder because he might win 'cause he has some good points. 111 00:04:51,243 --> 00:04:52,196 But you guys might win... 112 00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:54,756 - We don't give a shit about what you're talking about! - It doesn't matter. 113 00:05:01,883 --> 00:05:04,122 Hey-o! There's my guy! 114 00:05:04,128 --> 00:05:06,268 Hey, I got a piping hot Grilled Frank for you, okay? 115 00:05:06,274 --> 00:05:08,167 I got the sausage, the Spam, the bacon. 116 00:05:08,180 --> 00:05:11,000 I got it wrapped in a jelly pancake and cooked with a stick of butter. 117 00:05:11,013 --> 00:05:12,867 I don't want that, Charlie. 118 00:05:12,885 --> 00:05:14,518 I'm trying to get in shape. 119 00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:17,891 I read all about this phenomenon that guys' bodies 120 00:05:17,916 --> 00:05:21,901 immediately turn to shit the second they retire. 121 00:05:21,926 --> 00:05:23,540 - Oh, yeah? - I got to work on it. 122 00:05:23,559 --> 00:05:26,599 All right, well, you know, just-just take a peek, see if you like it. 123 00:05:26,605 --> 00:05:28,564 Uh, hey, listen, man, can I ask you something? 124 00:05:29,289 --> 00:05:30,069 What? 125 00:05:30,082 --> 00:05:32,537 Are you, like, um... 126 00:05:32,562 --> 00:05:34,189 my dad? 127 00:05:34,208 --> 00:05:34,948 What? 128 00:05:34,955 --> 00:05:37,520 Are, like... are you the-the father of me and shit? 129 00:05:37,526 --> 00:05:39,126 - We've-we've been over this. - Yeah. 130 00:05:39,132 --> 00:05:40,840 - Your mother's a giant whore. - Right. 131 00:05:40,852 --> 00:05:42,420 I don't want to stress about this, Charlie. 132 00:05:42,426 --> 00:05:45,775 I'm retired. Leave me alone. I want to watch a little TV. 133 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:48,215 - Yeah. All right. - Charlie, hey... Oh. 134 00:05:48,221 --> 00:05:50,492 - Hey, can I talk to you for a sec? - Uh, yeah. Hey. 135 00:05:50,504 --> 00:05:53,945 Hey, um, I came up with a really great idea, dude. 136 00:05:53,957 --> 00:05:54,872 Yeah? 137 00:05:54,885 --> 00:05:57,243 I'm gonna play both sides. 138 00:05:58,189 --> 00:05:59,922 Why would you tell me that? 139 00:05:59,929 --> 00:06:00,769 Should I not have? 140 00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:03,954 Probably shouldn't 'cause if you're trying to keep a secret from me, well, now I know. 141 00:06:03,967 --> 00:06:05,021 I should've... Should I tell them? 142 00:06:05,027 --> 00:06:06,512 No, I don't think you should tell either side 143 00:06:06,537 --> 00:06:08,790 'cause if you try to play both sides and they both know, 144 00:06:08,815 --> 00:06:10,775 - you're not playing anybody. - What should I do now? 145 00:06:10,781 --> 00:06:13,221 I don't... I don't give a shit. Why are you here? 146 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:14,929 I'm here to prove my allegiance to you. 147 00:06:14,942 --> 00:06:17,488 Because I believe that you're the rightful heir. 148 00:06:17,501 --> 00:06:18,481 Okay, whatever. 149 00:06:18,506 --> 00:06:20,899 - All right, well, I see... I see that you don't believe me. - Why would I? 150 00:06:20,905 --> 00:06:22,998 So I am prepared to take a blood oath with you. 151 00:06:23,004 --> 00:06:25,005 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 152 00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:27,547 Oh, my God, dude! Oh, that was Frank's toe knife! 153 00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:29,786 Oh, it hurts so much. All right, quick, shake on it. 154 00:06:29,792 --> 00:06:31,726 - No, I'm not gonna touch your blood. - Do you have something I could... 155 00:06:31,751 --> 00:06:33,864 - I got to close this wound. - Yeah, here, just plug it up. 156 00:06:33,870 --> 00:06:35,663 That was so not as cool as I thought it was gonna be. 157 00:06:35,669 --> 00:06:37,637 That sock's probably gonna get it more infected, though. 158 00:06:37,650 --> 00:06:39,828 All right, look, look, look, look, dude. 159 00:06:40,235 --> 00:06:42,515 We got to prove that Frank is your dad. 160 00:06:42,529 --> 00:06:45,298 Dude, he-he doesn't even want to have that conversation with me, okay? 161 00:06:45,310 --> 00:06:47,087 And he's certainly not gonna get tested, you know? 162 00:06:47,100 --> 00:06:48,485 He's really resistant to the whole thing. 163 00:06:49,323 --> 00:06:51,459 All right, well, then we're gonna have to do some testing of our own. 164 00:06:51,465 --> 00:06:52,352 Yeah? 165 00:06:52,358 --> 00:06:55,164 I can choke a man out in four seconds flat. 166 00:06:55,189 --> 00:06:56,450 Oh, yeah? 167 00:06:56,463 --> 00:06:59,076 - Yeah, I guess we could try that, or, uh... - All right. 168 00:06:59,089 --> 00:07:01,436 You know, I could probably take his blood right now. He's out. 169 00:07:02,885 --> 00:07:04,245 He's staring right at us. 170 00:07:04,258 --> 00:07:07,362 Yeah, he's been falling asleep with his eyes open like that, but he's way out. 171 00:07:07,381 --> 00:07:10,258 I mean, we could prick him. He won't feel a thing. Frank! 172 00:07:17,436 --> 00:07:18,816 - Anything? - Nothing! 173 00:07:19,309 --> 00:07:20,716 Not a single butt smell to that. 174 00:07:20,728 --> 00:07:22,362 - How is that possible? - I don't know. 175 00:07:22,376 --> 00:07:23,983 It's either this guy's butt or this brand of chair. 176 00:07:23,988 --> 00:07:25,283 It's got to be the brand, right? 177 00:07:25,289 --> 00:07:26,949 All right, we got to get one of these for our throne. 178 00:07:26,962 --> 00:07:28,675 - Yeah. Yeah. Hey! - Hey! 179 00:07:28,688 --> 00:07:31,600 Hey, what do you say, Doc? So, what is the verdict? 180 00:07:31,613 --> 00:07:34,364 - Is Frank Charlie's dad or not? - I don't know. 181 00:07:34,370 --> 00:07:35,310 I don't know who that is. 182 00:07:35,335 --> 00:07:37,167 What I do know is I came to work this morning 183 00:07:37,192 --> 00:07:39,852 to find a very large bucket of blood in my lab. 184 00:07:39,865 --> 00:07:43,436 Yeah, well, that's the sample, obviously, and, uh, you know, if it's too big, 185 00:07:43,437 --> 00:07:45,177 it's because Frank sprung a little bit of a leak there. 186 00:07:45,188 --> 00:07:47,070 Yeah, it was a mess, huh? 187 00:07:47,082 --> 00:07:48,910 - He was bleeding like crazy. - There was blood everywhere, 188 00:07:48,922 --> 00:07:50,035 but we caught enough of it, I think. 189 00:07:50,041 --> 00:07:51,994 Yeah, we must have cut a deep vein or something. 190 00:07:52,007 --> 00:07:54,048 Wait a second. Most of this came from one man? 191 00:07:54,067 --> 00:07:56,568 Did we take too much? I-I didn't think that we took too much. 192 00:07:56,593 --> 00:07:58,487 Yes. You took too much. 193 00:07:58,500 --> 00:08:01,433 Also, there's traces of more than four individuals in here 194 00:08:01,438 --> 00:08:03,205 and at least one animal. 195 00:08:03,987 --> 00:08:06,115 Was there blood in the bucket before? 196 00:08:06,140 --> 00:08:08,953 It is a blood bucket, so yeah, there was old blood. 197 00:08:08,966 --> 00:08:10,532 I didn't come here to get sassed, okay? 198 00:08:10,552 --> 00:08:12,559 I came here to get an answer to my question. 199 00:08:12,565 --> 00:08:14,272 So is Frank Charlie's dad or not? 200 00:08:14,278 --> 00:08:15,761 The only thing that I can tell you is that, 201 00:08:15,786 --> 00:08:17,534 based off of how much blood is in this bucket, 202 00:08:17,559 --> 00:08:20,399 your friend is in desperate need of blood. 203 00:08:23,573 --> 00:08:25,853 All right, Dee, the bar is finally ours. 204 00:08:25,866 --> 00:08:27,299 Let's talk redecoration. 205 00:08:27,319 --> 00:08:30,466 Well, I'm thinking chrome, and I'm thinking chrome everywhere. 206 00:08:30,478 --> 00:08:32,992 The other thing that's important to me is a proper dance floor. 207 00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:35,328 That way, any time I want to just pop a boogie, 208 00:08:35,353 --> 00:08:38,400 I can do it wherever I am, and it won't be weird, you know what I mean? 209 00:08:38,425 --> 00:08:41,192 - Okay. - Oh, think of it, brother. 210 00:08:41,206 --> 00:08:44,166 With them out of the way, we can do as we please. 211 00:08:44,173 --> 00:08:46,926 Two butts, one throne. 212 00:08:47,978 --> 00:08:49,805 All right, you know what, you've been doing this all day. 213 00:08:49,825 --> 00:08:52,218 - Why are you talking like that? - I'm just being... I'm being arch. 214 00:08:52,231 --> 00:08:54,878 - Why? - Well, because we're being devious and we're plotting, 215 00:08:54,896 --> 00:08:58,323 and I just wanted to make sure that it was clear that we were devious and plotting. 216 00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:00,178 You don't need to indicate to me that you're being devious 217 00:09:00,197 --> 00:09:01,357 when you're actually being devious. 218 00:09:01,370 --> 00:09:03,580 I guess I had some concerns that you wouldn't pick up on it 219 00:09:03,605 --> 00:09:04,701 if I didn't make it super clear. 220 00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:06,380 Yeah, but the problem is if you start doing that, 221 00:09:06,393 --> 00:09:08,702 - everybody's gonna pick up on it. And that defeats the purpose. - Yeah, got it. 222 00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:11,887 Dennis, Dee, quickly— we don't have much time. 223 00:09:11,907 --> 00:09:13,472 Charlie and I doctored a paternity test 224 00:09:13,497 --> 00:09:15,937 to make it look like Frank is Charlie's dad. 225 00:09:15,950 --> 00:09:17,965 But the tests were actually inconclusive; 226 00:09:17,990 --> 00:09:20,297 There was too much blood in the bucket to tell. 227 00:09:20,303 --> 00:09:22,347 The reason I'm telling you all this is because I'm playing 228 00:09:22,366 --> 00:09:24,939 both sides so that I always come out on top. 229 00:09:24,946 --> 00:09:27,617 So, with this information, I'm gonna leverage you guys 230 00:09:27,642 --> 00:09:30,349 into making me the head of security at the new Paddy's Pub. 231 00:09:30,355 --> 00:09:33,448 - Mm. - O-Okay, okay, couple things right off the bat, there, pal. 232 00:09:33,455 --> 00:09:36,839 Number one, um, never tell one side that you're playing both sides. 233 00:09:36,852 --> 00:09:40,025 - Yeah. - And number two, if you are gonna play both sides, 234 00:09:40,050 --> 00:09:43,230 don't give away the information before you get what you want. 235 00:09:43,243 --> 00:09:44,344 Oh, shit. 236 00:09:44,835 --> 00:09:46,915 Right, don't give away the in-information. 237 00:09:46,928 --> 00:09:49,550 - Yeah. - All right, well, if I am gonna play both sides, what should I do? 238 00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:51,563 - Oops. - You're still telling us that you're playing both sides, 239 00:09:51,576 --> 00:09:52,576 so why would we help you? 240 00:09:52,589 --> 00:09:56,262 Uh... Okay, well, what if I make a blood oath... uh, allegiance to you guys? 241 00:09:56,275 --> 00:09:57,288 - Oh! - Ooh. 242 00:09:57,301 --> 00:09:58,075 Gross. 243 00:09:58,094 --> 00:10:01,284 Yeah, I, uh, I sliced it with Frank's toe knife and, uh, 244 00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:03,282 it's not bleeding anymore, but maybe I could... 245 00:10:03,295 --> 00:10:05,491 - Oh, yeah, here, I'll just get it again. - Oh! 246 00:10:06,076 --> 00:10:07,743 - Oh, shit! - Oh, God! 247 00:10:07,748 --> 00:10:09,223 Jesus, dude, that was the lime knife. 248 00:10:09,236 --> 00:10:12,035 Oh, I feel that— it stings. Oh, Dee, here, shake my hand. 249 00:10:12,042 --> 00:10:13,682 - No, get away from me, gross. - Aah. Dennis? 250 00:10:13,695 --> 00:10:14,889 No, your blood is disgusting. 251 00:10:14,901 --> 00:10:17,118 - Aah. What should I do? - Go to the doctor. 252 00:10:17,138 --> 00:10:18,961 Mac, why the hell'd you sprint ahead of me, man? 253 00:10:18,973 --> 00:10:20,461 Oh, 'cause I'm playing both sides. 254 00:10:20,474 --> 00:10:21,997 - Jesus Christ. - Wow. 255 00:10:22,002 --> 00:10:23,176 It doesn't matter. Okay, guys, 256 00:10:23,188 --> 00:10:25,766 I got some documentation here proving that I am the rightful heir 257 00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:26,873 - to Frank's butt chair. - Yeah. 258 00:10:26,886 --> 00:10:28,346 All right, Charlie, save it, save it. 259 00:10:28,366 --> 00:10:31,739 Mac already told us that that's not a real paternity test. 260 00:10:31,752 --> 00:10:33,860 What the hell, dude? You swore a blood oath to me. 261 00:10:33,872 --> 00:10:35,725 Dude, you never touched my blood, okay? 262 00:10:35,732 --> 00:10:38,168 All right, you know what, if you really want to work here... 263 00:10:38,175 --> 00:10:39,963 - kick Charlie out of here. - Hmm. 264 00:10:40,884 --> 00:10:42,204 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 265 00:10:42,223 --> 00:10:44,314 No problem, dude. Charlie, let's go, bud, get... 266 00:10:45,828 --> 00:10:47,308 All right, dude, I'm gonna carry you out. 267 00:10:48,568 --> 00:10:51,393 Oh, shit. Oh, my God, he is so heavy. 268 00:10:51,406 --> 00:10:53,299 He's, like, grounding himself with something. 269 00:10:53,312 --> 00:10:55,775 Oh, now he's going limp. No, come on, dude, that's not fair. 270 00:10:55,794 --> 00:10:58,064 Help me out, here, Charlie. Help me out. 271 00:10:58,077 --> 00:11:00,009 That's it, dude, that's it. I'm choking you out. 272 00:11:00,022 --> 00:11:02,442 - Okay. - You're going out, dude, you're going to sleep. 273 00:11:02,455 --> 00:11:04,620 Good night, dude, good night, bitch. 274 00:11:11,373 --> 00:11:13,507 Your head of security just choked himself out. 275 00:11:19,633 --> 00:11:21,746 Hey, Frank, I know you're trying to be healthy, 276 00:11:21,771 --> 00:11:23,798 so I got you a hoagie with extra pickles in it— 277 00:11:23,823 --> 00:11:25,416 I figured you could use the veggies and stuff... 278 00:11:25,423 --> 00:11:26,693 Oh, shit! 279 00:11:27,523 --> 00:11:28,811 Hi, Charlie. 280 00:11:29,412 --> 00:11:31,199 What... What's going on with you, man? 281 00:11:31,204 --> 00:11:33,344 I forgot to dye my hair this morning. 282 00:11:33,364 --> 00:11:34,684 What's up with your teeth? 283 00:11:34,697 --> 00:11:38,184 I was eating some of Deandra's pyramid scheme berries. 284 00:11:38,190 --> 00:11:39,672 I was trying to get healthy. 285 00:11:39,697 --> 00:11:40,644 Right. 286 00:11:40,657 --> 00:11:42,570 I feel a little light-headed. 287 00:11:42,584 --> 00:11:44,646 All right, well, I'm sure it's nothing, you know. 288 00:11:44,659 --> 00:11:47,398 Probably just, like, tired from working hard and then... 289 00:11:47,402 --> 00:11:50,589 You know, the body crashes when... O-Oh, shit, did you fall asleep again? 290 00:11:51,359 --> 00:11:53,635 - Frank? - Is he dead? 291 00:11:53,648 --> 00:11:55,135 - Oh, shit. - He looks bad. 292 00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:56,389 What are you sneaking up on me for? 293 00:11:56,401 --> 00:11:58,530 Oh, listen, Dennis is acting weird and I don't like it. 294 00:11:58,543 --> 00:12:01,056 Now, I know he's got something planned, but he's not indicating, 295 00:12:01,081 --> 00:12:03,232 - so I don't know what it is. - Right. 296 00:12:03,257 --> 00:12:06,297 - No, I get that, I guess, so, yeah. - Yes, yes, exactly, Charlie, 297 00:12:06,303 --> 00:12:11,358 so here's the plan: We need to outsmart him before he can have us murdered... 298 00:12:11,371 --> 00:12:13,381 - Are you okay? - ... and throw us in... Hmm? 299 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,572 Do you need a glass of water or something? 300 00:12:15,597 --> 00:12:16,757 No, I'm good. 301 00:12:16,769 --> 00:12:18,802 - What are... W-What's happening? - I'm... I'm being arch. 302 00:12:18,809 --> 00:12:21,022 - Oh. Oh. - We're doing a thing together, so you know... 303 00:12:21,029 --> 00:12:22,869 Yeah, no, I know, just 'cause you're telling me what's up. 304 00:12:22,881 --> 00:12:24,701 Okay, okay, fine. The point is 305 00:12:24,726 --> 00:12:26,653 we got to prove that you're the rightful heir to the throne. 306 00:12:26,666 --> 00:12:28,472 Yes, of course, that's why I got this plastic bag, 307 00:12:28,497 --> 00:12:29,954 'cause my blood bucket was inconclusive. 308 00:12:29,967 --> 00:12:31,060 You just need a couple drops. 309 00:12:31,073 --> 00:12:32,907 - Right, yeah. - So let's open him up. 310 00:12:32,926 --> 00:12:34,949 Yeah, all right, but you know, we got to be careful, you know, 311 00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:36,609 'cause I think I took too much blood last time. 312 00:12:36,622 --> 00:12:37,789 - Is that what's going on? - Yeah. 313 00:12:37,809 --> 00:12:39,149 Okay, well, you just need a couple drops. 314 00:12:39,162 --> 00:12:41,659 - Yeah, all right, just a prick, just a little prick. - Just a prick. Okay. 315 00:12:42,199 --> 00:12:44,191 Oh, my God, so much blood! 316 00:12:44,216 --> 00:12:46,609 - Oh, so much blood, I think we hit an artery, Dee, look at this. - Yeah. 317 00:12:46,629 --> 00:12:47,875 - Oh, shit. - Is he okay? 318 00:12:47,900 --> 00:12:49,940 No, he's okay, you know, the duct tape'll stop it. 319 00:12:49,953 --> 00:12:52,153 Okay, let's just get... Wait, oh, shit, this is leaking. 320 00:12:52,161 --> 00:12:53,776 Oh, no. Oh, shit, I'm holding it... 321 00:12:53,789 --> 00:12:55,995 Wait, wait, stop, stop! Oh, damn it. 322 00:12:56,020 --> 00:12:58,168 Shoot, Charlie, I'm sorry, I was trying to help. 323 00:12:58,174 --> 00:13:00,238 Can't imagine it was gonna be a very good sample anyway— 324 00:13:00,263 --> 00:13:02,054 there are quite a few pickles floating around in that bag. 325 00:13:02,067 --> 00:13:03,793 - Yeah, what I was thinking. - Shit. 326 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:06,347 Wait a second— which one of you and Dennis was firstborn? 327 00:13:06,367 --> 00:13:08,165 - We're twins. - No, I know, I know, but, like, 328 00:13:08,190 --> 00:13:10,018 who did Barbara actually, like, pop out first? 329 00:13:10,031 --> 00:13:11,194 Oh, shit. 330 00:13:11,657 --> 00:13:14,850 Oh, Charlie. "Worst is first!" 331 00:13:14,863 --> 00:13:16,338 - What is that? - "Worst is first." 332 00:13:16,349 --> 00:13:18,675 My mom used to say that to me all the time because I was first 333 00:13:18,700 --> 00:13:20,040 and she thought I was the worst. 334 00:13:20,052 --> 00:13:22,712 - Holy shit, that's terrible, but that's good for us. - Yeah! Yeah! 335 00:13:22,732 --> 00:13:25,178 Okay, so that means you're the rightful heir to the butt chair. 336 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:27,546 So, all right, we can work with that. All right, let's get out of here, 337 00:13:27,552 --> 00:13:29,683 - come on, we can't tell anybody about this, all right? - Okay, okay. 338 00:13:29,704 --> 00:13:31,238 Let's... All right, let's just go. 339 00:13:36,052 --> 00:13:37,761 Always hated these. 340 00:13:38,207 --> 00:13:39,354 So that's gonna change. 341 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:42,410 Worst is first, dude, worst is first. 342 00:13:42,429 --> 00:13:45,816 - What are you talking about, man? - Dee is conspiring against you. 343 00:13:46,343 --> 00:13:47,673 Charlie figured it out. 344 00:13:47,698 --> 00:13:49,564 "Worst is first." 345 00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:51,739 Charlie and Dee were getting blood from Frank 346 00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:55,050 when Charlie realized Dee was born first. 347 00:13:55,063 --> 00:13:56,777 Therefore, she's the rightful heir. 348 00:13:56,790 --> 00:13:58,976 Then I got a little bit more blood from Frank, 349 00:13:59,001 --> 00:14:00,858 'cause I feel like we're probably gonna use it in the future 350 00:14:00,883 --> 00:14:03,190 - and he was already opened up, so who gives a shit? - Okay, all right. 351 00:14:03,202 --> 00:14:04,682 How'd you get all this information? 352 00:14:04,688 --> 00:14:06,995 I was hiding in Frank's apartment, 353 00:14:07,020 --> 00:14:09,987 and then they went out into the hallway and I heard them through the door. 354 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:13,415 Dude, the best part is I'm gonna use this information to leverage you 355 00:14:13,428 --> 00:14:15,390 into giving me a better position under your reign. 356 00:14:15,403 --> 00:14:16,888 You just told me the infor... 357 00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,291 You know what? Forget it. Good job. 358 00:14:19,310 --> 00:14:21,971 Um, how about the position of my pawn, how's that sound? 359 00:14:21,990 --> 00:14:24,394 - Pawn. Pawns are cool, there's a lot of them, you know. - Yeah. 360 00:14:24,413 --> 00:14:25,580 They move diagonally. 361 00:14:25,586 --> 00:14:27,569 I've always thought that I move a little bit too much forward 362 00:14:27,582 --> 00:14:29,804 and back and I should be more like... like... 363 00:14:29,823 --> 00:14:32,343 'Cause then, you can't see me if I'm coming at you like this. 364 00:14:32,363 --> 00:14:34,624 Like, sideways. Well, watch. 365 00:14:34,644 --> 00:14:36,999 Well, don't move your head, dude. All right, what if you keep your head 366 00:14:37,012 --> 00:14:39,392 - there but close your eyes... - You know, it doesn't matter. 367 00:14:39,405 --> 00:14:41,102 I need you to do something for me. 368 00:14:49,454 --> 00:14:51,887 Oh... oh, my God. That is crazy. 369 00:14:51,907 --> 00:14:53,861 It's the smell of a thousand butts. 370 00:14:53,886 --> 00:14:56,399 Hey! Dennis! Dennis, I did your bidding. 371 00:14:56,405 --> 00:14:57,912 - Good. - Yeah. 372 00:14:57,918 --> 00:14:59,505 Frank is on his way. 373 00:14:59,518 --> 00:15:03,011 But dude, whatever it is you got planned, you better do it fast, 374 00:15:03,024 --> 00:15:05,414 because if Dee and Charlie get that birth certificate, you're screwed. 375 00:15:05,427 --> 00:15:07,631 Look, Mac, I told you, I've got it under control. 376 00:15:07,643 --> 00:15:09,938 Everything is going according to my plan. 377 00:15:09,957 --> 00:15:10,646 Right. 378 00:15:10,671 --> 00:15:13,452 - Worst is first! - Worst is first! 379 00:15:13,459 --> 00:15:16,879 Oh, brother, looks as though you've underest... - Stop doing that. 380 00:15:16,904 --> 00:15:17,924 - It doesn't work. - No? 381 00:15:17,937 --> 00:15:20,337 Look, we found the birth certificate proving Dee was born first. 382 00:15:20,350 --> 00:15:21,215 - Mm-hmm. - Worst is first. 383 00:15:21,228 --> 00:15:23,668 Worst is first, yeah, and then Charlie and I, we made a blood oath, 384 00:15:23,681 --> 00:15:25,397 - so now we're in cahoots. - Yeah! 385 00:15:25,410 --> 00:15:26,610 Hey, Trundle, can I get in on that? 386 00:15:26,629 --> 00:15:27,719 - Ugh! - I'm on their side. 387 00:15:27,732 --> 00:15:29,640 - Nasty. - You idiots. 388 00:15:29,660 --> 00:15:31,265 Did you not think that I had anticipated this? 389 00:15:31,285 --> 00:15:33,143 While you were running around town like lunatics, 390 00:15:33,168 --> 00:15:36,468 chopping your hands to bits, I did a little bit of research. 391 00:15:36,481 --> 00:15:40,014 Turns out Franquito isn't a shell corporation after all. 392 00:15:40,027 --> 00:15:41,041 He's a person. 393 00:15:41,611 --> 00:15:45,258 - Dee, you remember Josefina, our maid from the early '80s? - Yeah. 394 00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:47,564 Well, it turns out Frank had been banging her for years, 395 00:15:47,589 --> 00:15:50,476 and just before we were born, he was. 396 00:15:51,267 --> 00:15:52,314 Franquito! 397 00:15:52,327 --> 00:15:53,659 Ven acá! 398 00:15:55,919 --> 00:15:57,299 Holy shit! 399 00:15:57,312 --> 00:15:58,564 - Whoa! - What? 400 00:15:58,584 --> 00:16:00,184 Yeah, look upon him. 401 00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:02,714 Yeah, he doesn't speak any English, by the way, so don't try talking to him. 402 00:16:02,727 --> 00:16:04,054 But we worked something out. 403 00:16:04,067 --> 00:16:07,114 Yeah, Frank's shares go to him, 'cause he's the firstborn... 404 00:16:07,139 --> 00:16:09,119 and then Franquito signs to me. 405 00:16:09,132 --> 00:16:11,420 It's game, set and match. 406 00:16:14,269 --> 00:16:15,750 Holy shit. 407 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:18,974 What is happening right now? 408 00:16:18,999 --> 00:16:20,253 I'm not... 409 00:16:20,265 --> 00:16:22,265 I'm not feeling so well. 410 00:16:22,885 --> 00:16:25,086 Retirement is difficult. 411 00:16:26,427 --> 00:16:27,987 Anyway... hey, Frank! 412 00:16:28,484 --> 00:16:30,004 Guess who this is. 413 00:16:30,011 --> 00:16:31,656 Haven't seen him in a while, have you? 414 00:16:34,316 --> 00:16:35,511 Come closer. 415 00:16:36,752 --> 00:16:38,059 It's your son. 416 00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:40,320 Franquito. 417 00:16:42,604 --> 00:16:43,950 Yes. 418 00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:47,325 Of course it is. 419 00:16:48,010 --> 00:16:50,284 Look how beautiful he is. 420 00:16:51,194 --> 00:16:53,922 Oh! My one true child. 421 00:16:53,947 --> 00:16:55,274 Come closer. 422 00:16:56,479 --> 00:16:58,039 Oh! 423 00:16:58,045 --> 00:17:01,400 You give me so much joy right now. 424 00:17:01,406 --> 00:17:04,246 And, so, Frank, the bar shall go to him. 425 00:17:04,259 --> 00:17:04,919 Oh! 426 00:17:04,932 --> 00:17:06,559 Just need you to sign here and here. 427 00:17:06,564 --> 00:17:10,695 When a man is no longer needed in the tribe, 428 00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:12,772 his body betrays him. 429 00:17:12,786 --> 00:17:13,466 Yeah. 430 00:17:13,479 --> 00:17:16,424 When he has no purpose, 431 00:17:16,425 --> 00:17:19,603 the blood seems to drain from his body, 432 00:17:19,628 --> 00:17:23,567 leaving him a shell of the man he once was. 433 00:17:23,586 --> 00:17:25,433 All right, I don't know where you're going with this, but can you just sign? 434 00:17:25,446 --> 00:17:27,171 I'm unretiring. 435 00:17:27,191 --> 00:17:28,071 Wh-What? 436 00:17:28,084 --> 00:17:29,544 I have a plan. 437 00:17:29,557 --> 00:17:31,457 I will retain all, 438 00:17:31,482 --> 00:17:37,368 and Franquito will help me run the bar as my number two. 439 00:17:38,581 --> 00:17:41,080 Speaking of number two... 440 00:17:41,485 --> 00:17:43,213 - Oh! - Dude. - Oh! 441 00:17:43,678 --> 00:17:45,143 Damn it! Come on. I just cleaned that. 442 00:17:45,162 --> 00:17:47,145 That's Frank's butt smell. That is it. I told you. 443 00:17:47,165 --> 00:17:48,804 - That is the exact smell of the chair. - Oh, no! 444 00:17:48,810 --> 00:17:50,917 Everything is better than it was before. 445 00:17:50,929 --> 00:17:52,216 - No, it isn't. - No. 446 00:17:52,235 --> 00:17:56,269 - It's so much worse. - I have my son to rule with me. 447 00:17:56,282 --> 00:17:57,521 No, you don't. 448 00:17:58,798 --> 00:18:01,765 - What do you mean? - Because Franquito's not your son. 449 00:18:01,771 --> 00:18:04,044 - I made it all up. - What? How? 450 00:18:04,056 --> 00:18:05,564 All right, look, guys, it's very simple. 451 00:18:05,577 --> 00:18:08,630 Seven years ago, I walked into a Wahwah, and I saw this guy, 452 00:18:08,655 --> 00:18:12,502 and I thought, "Holy shit! That guy looks just like Frank, but, you know, Mexican." 453 00:18:12,515 --> 00:18:15,822 And then I came up with a plan where I could make Frank believe 454 00:18:15,841 --> 00:18:19,119 that he had a son with our maid Josefina all those years ago, 455 00:18:19,125 --> 00:18:21,656 and I could bilk him out of a shitload of money under the guise 456 00:18:21,675 --> 00:18:23,545 that the money was all going to his firstborn son, 457 00:18:23,551 --> 00:18:26,120 Franquito, when, in fact, the money was going to me. 458 00:18:26,133 --> 00:18:27,986 And it worked, too. It was a good plan. 459 00:18:27,999 --> 00:18:29,680 Yeah, but that's, like... 460 00:18:29,705 --> 00:18:33,436 incredibly devious, dude. I mean, you've been screwing Frank for years? 461 00:18:33,453 --> 00:18:36,261 I mean, you guys would have done that, too, right, if you'd thought of it? 462 00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:38,537 - Uh, I don't... I don't know. - I don't know, man. I mean... 463 00:18:38,549 --> 00:18:40,871 Yeah, I think you guys would have, but, either way, 464 00:18:40,896 --> 00:18:42,806 it doesn't matter, you know, 'cause everything is, uh, 465 00:18:42,831 --> 00:18:44,861 as it should be, so let's grab some drinks. 466 00:18:44,886 --> 00:18:47,114 No, no, everything is not as it should be. 467 00:18:47,134 --> 00:18:48,531 You tried to screw us out of the bar. 468 00:18:48,537 --> 00:18:50,387 - Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you tried to steal the bar. - No, no, no, no, 469 00:18:50,412 --> 00:18:52,192 I was trying to get things to go back to the way they were— 470 00:18:52,217 --> 00:18:53,807 get him back on the throne, and, you know, 471 00:18:53,832 --> 00:18:56,694 so we could get back to doing all the things that we love to do at Paddy's, 472 00:18:56,719 --> 00:18:59,892 you know, like, um, finding out what's at the bottom of a hole. 473 00:19:00,463 --> 00:19:01,736 - Shit. - Right? Did we ever? 474 00:19:01,749 --> 00:19:03,467 Did you guys ever find out what was at the bottom of that? 475 00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:04,642 No, we dropped it completely. 476 00:19:04,667 --> 00:19:07,620 - Yeah. - Oh, shit, dude. There could be a Goonies situation down there, right? 477 00:19:07,633 --> 00:19:09,746 - That. Yeah, that's what I was thinking, yeah. - Yeah, we were discussing it. 478 00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:11,727 - You know, the hole... The hole in the bathroom? - You feeling better? 479 00:19:11,749 --> 00:19:12,806 Yeah, I feel pretty good about this. 480 00:19:12,816 --> 00:19:14,343 All right, come on, let's go check it out. 481 00:19:14,363 --> 00:19:16,370 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Let's get in the bathroom. 482 00:19:16,377 --> 00:19:19,414 - You want to try to flush that thing one more time? - Ah, the hole. 483 00:19:19,427 --> 00:19:22,506 Oh, I'm so excited things are back to the way they were. 484 00:19:24,311 --> 00:19:25,635 Yes. 485 00:19:26,371 --> 00:19:30,615 Go play in your little hole, you fools. 486 00:19:30,622 --> 00:19:33,635 You still need me to stick around, or can I...? 487 00:19:33,655 --> 00:19:36,030 No, Franquito. We're done here. 488 00:19:36,849 --> 00:19:39,269 - Can I get my five bucks? - Yes, you can get your five bucks. 489 00:19:39,282 --> 00:19:40,662 Goddamn, you're a greedy bastard. 490 00:19:40,669 --> 00:19:47,669 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by